AUTHOR'S NOTES:


As promised, the next chapter…Yippeee! The pc is still working at the moment (perhaps I shouldn't have said that). Hope you enjoy this. (25Feb08)

(Previous chapter: Calls)

Chapter 37:
Missing

Amanda sat miserably on the bed in her room at the Conservatory. The room was tiny, with a small window that faced the brick wall of a neighbouring building. She was one of a handful of so-called 'lucky' students who had ended up with a single room, but now she wished she had some company – or at least some greenery to look at. She missed looking out of her own bedroom window at home and seeing Kyle standing below smiling up at her. His smile lit even the murkiest of days.

Since his confession to her she had felt their connection deepen, and she missed him so terribly it was almost a physical pain. She missed his arms around her and their shy kisses. She knew Kyle wanted her safely tucked away in New York, but she also knew that her mom was hoping that the great distance between them would cause 'this damned infatuation' to fade away. Amanda sighed, if only her mother would loosen up and give Kyle a chance. Just because both of Charlie's parents were good Catholics, and accountants to boot, hadn't made Charlie the perfect, safe match for Amanda, as everyone had discovered – she last of all. She threw that memory aside with a mental cry of good riddance.

She frowned as she had yet another flashback of the moment her mother had hit Kyle. The flashbacks had been quite frequent since the actual event. She had never seen her mom hit anyone before. Amanda's stomach rolled as she remembered the distress on Kyle's face as the blood ran from his lip. Amanda was sure that if her mom had known what terrible things Kyle had been subjected to in his life, she would never have added another to the list. Kyle was such a good person; it didn't seem fair that so much pain should follow him. Then she remembered how he had somehow healed his wounded lip. Amanda grabbed her pillow and held it close as she recalled the look on his face just before she had left him to go catch her flight to New York. He was harbouring a lot of worries, and he was scared, but still he had wanted to help Jessi. Still he had wanted to do the right thing regardless of the consequences to himself. That was what worried Amanda.

Kyle had been very quiet since the previous night. In fact, she had been worrying all day since his usual early morning text had not arrived. And when lunchtime had also passed without word, her bad feeling worsened; she could usually set her watch by Kyle's punctuality and he never broke a promise without good reason. She tried to tell herself that Kyle simply had a lot on his mind, and that his mind was hurting. She tried even harder to tell herself he was probably catching up on his sleep, or absorbed in his drawings, or helping Nicole around the house…or…or…her insecurity reared its head…or he had run off again to try and rescue Jessi. She could no longer cope without knowing! She really needed to speak to Kyle to put her mind at ease. She dug her phone from her bag and looked up his new number.

oooOooo

Everyone jumped from their individual thoughts as Kyle's cell phone began to vibrate on the kitchen counter. Declan reached over and checked the caller ID then threw a concerned look at everyone. "Oh no…it's Amanda," he said with apprehension.

Nicole beckoned Declan to pass her the phone. "Amanda, hi!" she tried to sound bright. "How are things in New York?"

Amanda was confused. "Um…they're okay, thank you, Mrs. Trager. Is Kyle around? It's just that he normally texts and I haven't heard a single thing since last night. I'm worried about him."

Without so much as a pause Nicole said, "He decided to go back to school today, but it seems he forgot his phone. He's been a little absent-minded with…everything that's happened."

"Oh…okay. Well, could you please ask him to give me a call later when he gets home?" Amanda asked, her heart sinking, a sense of déjà vu beginning to emerge.

Nicole's highly trained intuition detected the slight change in Amanda's tone. "Amanda, are you sure everything's okay?"

There was a slight pause before Amanda said tentatively, "Mrs. Trager, this is going to sound really weird, but…" She faltered.

"What?" Nicole asked, feeling uneasy herself.

Amanda took an obvious deep breath and blurted, "Kyle isn't…in trouble, is he?"

That took Nicole by surprise, and she tried to recover before Amanda picked up on her discomfort. "What makes you ask that?"

"It's just a feeling I have," Amanda stated honestly. "You would tell me if he's run away or anything, wouldn't you? Only I feel so far away, and Kyle was so…upset about Jessi."

Nicole didn't know what to say. Amanda was obviously aware of Kyle's delicate state of mind. For the first time in a very long time Nicole couldn't think quickly enough to tell a decent diversionary untruth. She sat down on one of the kitchen stools and closed her eyes. She didn't want to lie to Amanda; it didn't feel right. On the one hand, it would just make telling her the truth later even more difficult; but on the other, she didn't want to shock the poor girl with the truth about Kyle's past either.

Nicole sighed. "Amanda, Kyle hasn't run away! He honestly did go to school today, and he doesn't have his phone…obviously. Then Stephen picked him up early from school. As far as I know Kyle's at work with Stephen right now."

Amanda gasped a little too loudly. "Oh…okay. Well, could you ask him to call me when he gets home?"

Nicole's nerve was beginning to falter as she said, "Sure. But I have a feeling they'll be getting home quite late."

"I see," Amanda said sadly. "Well, thanks Mrs. Trager."

"No problem. You take care, now." Nicole heard the call disconnect, but continued to hold the phone to her ear. Saying the words to Amanda somehow made all of the anxiety seem so acute. She squeezed her eyes shut as she felt a knot of distress rush up behind them. Lori sensed it and moved quickly to fold her arms around her mother as Nicole's tears started. She sobbed gently; there was nothing else she could do at that moment to ease the empty space inside her heart that reminded her that part of her family was missing.

oooOooo

Amanda laid the phone on the bed beside her and felt her own distress rising. Mrs. Trager was unaware that Kyle had revealed his secrets to her, and she had just unwittingly informed Amanda of something she really didn't want to hear: Kyle was at Madacorp! What if Jessi were there too? What would the people at Madacorp do to them? Or what would Jessi do to Kyle? The images began to rush around in Amanda's head before they began a spiralling and swirling assault on her heart. Kyle was in danger, she could feel it, she had never been more certain of anything in her life…and there was nothing she could do except pray that he returned home with Mr. Trager safe and sound. Tears were not the answer, but they came nonetheless.

She thought her heart would break as she lifted her face to the picture on her wall; the only picture on her wall. It was the one Kyle had drawn of her playing the piano. She stood and approached the pastel drawing and marvelled, as she often had, at the detail. A million dabs of colour assembled with absolute care and precision to form a photo-perfect representation of the moment Kyle had first seen her. She reached out and stroked the picture, hoping she would feel something more than paper and pastel. She began to believe that somewhere locked between the tiny dots of colour there lay a trace of the essence of Kyle's feelings for her. The more she looked, the more she wondered how he could have created such a masterpiece and yet not understood its true significance at the time? Kyle was indeed special. Amanda couldn't bear the thought of anything else bad happening to him. She stared into the myriad of tiny dots and could almost visualise Kyle's face, pale and worried, just like he had been the last time she saw him. "I miss you," she told the picture, realising for the first time just how much...and how much she so desperately wanted him to know that.

oooOooo

On the other side of the country, Kyle stood in a Madacorp elevator flanked by security officers. His fear had become so familiar that his mind seemed to ignore it as it wandered in and out of reality. Colours seemed brighter and noises seemed louder as the Swiss cheese in his head throbbed with a dull ache. His heart was beating so loudly in his chest that he was sure everyone else must be able to hear it; but if they did, no one admitted it. He dragged his gaze away from the elevator buttons and looked at Stephen. The taller man's head was bowed as though in prayer. He didn't look up, which made Kyle feel all the more alone in this small, unfriendly crowd. The bell indicating the seventh floor rang out and caused Kyle to flinch and clap his hands over his ears so dramatically that one of the security men reflexively released a burst from his taser. The jolt hit Kyle in the thigh and he stumbled forward into one of the metal doors with a grunt, still protecting his ears.

"What was that for?" Stephen yelled as Kyle was pulled back.

"I'm all right," Kyle mumbled to Stephen, absently rubbing his thigh as they were herded from the elevator.

Ortega led them to one of the two C.I.R. observation areas, which Stephen knew to be adjacent to the control room. The stout man turned to Stephen. "You should be comfortable enough in here until Mr. Ballantine can see you."

Stephen narrowed his eyes angrily as he watched each of the five men leave the large room; he followed them to the door as they closed it tightly. He heard the electronic lock engage. "This is outrageous!" he shouted and hammered his fists against the door in frustration. He knew it was futile, but it helped to relieve some of his tension. His breathing was heavy for a few moments before he came back to himself and remembered Kyle.

Stephen turned to find Kyle standing at the far side of the room in front of an 'In Case of Emergency' notice on the wall beside the large observation window. The boy was silent. As Stephen approached from behind, he noticed that Kyle's eyes were closed and his left hand was moving slowly over the surface of the sign. As Stephen drew up beside him, frowning, he was surprised to find Kyle's mouth curled into a gentle smile. Stephen couldn't help but wonder if the taser burst had somehow crossed some of Kyle's wires.

Kyle had felt a surge of warmth ooze from one of the holes in his mind. It flooded him with a familiar energy. He followed the faint trail of it around the colours forming in his mind's eye, feeling silken hair in his fingers and the smoothness of a perfect collarbone. He focused in on the ribbon of energy that was seeking him out, winding itself around his heart. He was so frightened, so lost. It was his beacon in a storm. It was Amanda. He reached out and touched the energy with his own.

Warmth flooded him as his mind opened up and the full force of Amanda's feelings shot straight to his centre. His heart pounded painfully, but there was a familiar pleasure in it. All reason seemed to leave as Kyle reached out even further, wanting so desperately to leave this place and be with Amanda. He felt something inside him begin to peel away like he was stepping out of his skin. He was finding it harder and harder to resist the tantalising pull of the exquisite ribbon of energy. He felt his heart synchronising with its rhythm and he so desperately wanted to follow it. Yes: he wanted to follow his heart.

"Kyle! Help me!" the voice was sudden and so loud that it caused Kyle to cry out in pain as he gripped his head and doubled over. "They're almost there! I can't stop them any more!"

"Jessi!" Kyle called out in agony, straightening up again and placing both hands on the observation window as though he would find Jessi in the C.I.R. below; but the chair was empty. Confusion pulled at him from all sides.

"Help me!" Jessi's voice tore through his mind, almost ripping his consciousness away. Kyle cried out again and nearly lost his footing.

Stephen had been watching Kyle closely and had seen the boy's whole demeanour change in an instant from seemingly extreme pleasure to definite extreme pain. Kyle pressed himself against the large window, his fingernails scraping it as his hands contorted in response to something Stephen could neither see nor hear. Then Stephen realised something important. Spinning Kyle around and holding his face, Stephen shouted, "Kyle! Don't listen to it! Remember what Taylor said! It's not really Jessi!"

Kyle's pupils were large as he fought to stay conscious and tried to focus on Stephen's voice, but he couldn't hear it properly through the noise in his head. He gasped in desperation, unable to escape Jessi's cries for help that had obliterated Amanda from his mind.

"Kyle!" Stephen urged. "Focus!"

"It seems that he can't," a voice behind him said.

Stephen spun round to see Julian Ballantine and Ortega. "Stop this NOW!" Stephen cried. "We know what you've been doing!"

"Interesting…proximity seems to make a difference to the intensity of the signals," Ballantine crooned, almost to himself.

Stephen moved away from Kyle, and headed towards Ballantine. Ortega moved in front of him. "Now Stephen," Ballantine said. "Let's not be too hasty."

Stephen stopped and looked back at Kyle tensing with pain against the large window. He hated feeling helpless. He hated Julian Ballantine. "You don't need to do this!" he said with gritted teeth. "Kyle is here! Now stop the damned signal!"

Ballantine paused a moment before he whispered something to Ortega, who stepped out into the corridor and made a signal to the control room to the left. Suddenly Kyle slid down the window to the floor, panting and holding his head. Stephen shot Ballantine a look of pure hatred before approaching his fallen son. Kyle was obviously dazed, and Stephen could see the pulse in his neck hammering against the pale skin. He put a hand to Kyle's shoulder.

"Can you hear me?" he asked quietly.

"Yes," Kyle answered somewhat unemotionally.

Stephen grew angrier and looked at Ballantine over his shoulder. "You knew Kyle was in the building. You didn't have to do that to him!"

Ballantine raised his eyebrows slightly as he replied, "I didn't. That signal has been running continuously since we created it." He took a few steps forward to get a better look at Kyle. "It seems something in Kyle's mind has been blocking it. No wonder the lure didn't work to plan. I wonder what he was doing just before he became receptive to Jessi's frequencies again?"

Stephen had lost interest in the man's science babble. He watched Kyle closely. After a few moments, the boy's pulse had slowed considerably and he stared at Stephen somewhat more lucidly. Stephen patted him gently on the shoulder. "You okay now?"

Kyle's head felt like it had been cleaned out with a scouring pad. His thoughts were floating around like a swarm of mayflies searching the surface of a pond for some meaning to their existence. He looked up at Stephen's worried face and nodded then channelled his gaze over to Julian Ballantine. Ballantine met his stare, seemingly unmoved, but Kyle noticed the slight twitch of the fingers of his right hand. The man was impatient, just as Taylor had said. Both Kyle and Stephen watched in trepidation as a slow smile spread across Ballantine's face.

"It seems that Jessi was right. Breaking through your firewall is going to require something she is quite clearly missing…" The man's tone was dangerous.

Kyle felt dread coming from somewhere, but his Swiss cheese mind made it difficult to determine from where. "Jessi?" he asked.

"Yes," Ballantine said disinterestedly, adjusting the sleeves of his jacket as he prepared to leave the room. "In exchange for a new life, Jessi has given us a very useful piece of information about you, Kyle. Something you probably don't even know yourself."

"What's that?" Kyle hardly dared to ask, the pain of another betrayal by Jessi starting to nibble at his heart.

Ballantine turned to leave the room. As he stepped through the door that Ortega held for him, he smiled disingenuously over his shoulder at Kyle and said, "Something you are desperately missing."

(Next chapter: Likenesses)