Yes, guys, I know it's been forever and I know you all want to kill me and I know this is a short chapter and I'm sorry. Finals and projects and the holidays had a choke-hold on me. Not to mention, this chapter gave me a devil of writer's block. We're talking the type of writer's block that gives writers nightmares. The type where every time you pick up a pencil or pen or put your fingers over the keys of your keyboard, little gremlins run up carrying a huge, heavy cube with bricks made of ground-up unicorn teeth mortared together with goat's blood and baby tears. And no matter how much you beg them not to, the gremlins drop that block right on your hands and it crushes them and the pain is so bad it makes all creative thoughts flee your mind. So I had a lot to deal with and I'm going to have tons more in the coming months, but I'm going to try really REALLY hard for you guys because there's only few chapters left in this story and I DO NOT want to drag it into yet ANOTHER year. I'm sorry it's taken so long already but thank you so SO much to all of you who have put up with me this long.
Cats met in this chapter:
Mutt- black and white tom. Rogue.
Buck- muscular brown tabby tom. Rogue. (mentioned but not seen)
Lilith- pretty calico she-cat. Rogue. (mentioned but not seen)
"Well, Littlecloud, can I leave yet?" Darkshadow asked.
Every morning for over a week had begun the same. Littlecloud would wake up and go check on his patient. Darkshadow would always be wide awake and clearly restless. Littlecloud would peel away the bandages covering the other tabby's body and inspect the damage. Within seconds, Darkshadow would ask if he could finally leave the den. Every time, Littlecloud had turned him down. Today was the same.
Darkshadow let out an exasperated sigh. "You're spoiling me, Littlecloud! If I'd taken this much down time while I was in exile, I'd be dead. I can't stand laying around this den another minute! I just got back and I'm not doing my part. I'm just mooching off the clan. That's not going to do good things for everyone's opinion of me."
"I'm sorry, Darkshadow, but you aren't in exile anymore. You're back in ShadowClan and while you're here you have to do as I say. And I say you have to stay in here until I'm satisfied with your healing."
"I heal faster when I'm in action. I can't handle this, Littlecloud. It's not me. You've gotta let me out of here. I'm gonna go crazy and that won't be good for anyone."
"Just a little longer, Darkshadow," Littlecloud promised. "The clan is grateful to you for what you did. I think they can handle hunting for you for a bit longer. Besides, we all know you'll excel in hunting once we let you loose."
"Prey is going to become scarce soon. We can't handle wasting prey on someone who isn't doing anything. Damnit, Littlecloud, I'm fine. Been fine. I heal fast, no infections. I'm a little sore, a little stiff, but I just need to work my muscles a bit and I'll be fine. Inactivity and I don't mesh. I think this is even stunting my healing." Darkshadow looked at Littlecloud pleadingly.
Littlecloud sighed as he inspected the ugly-looking scars. Darkshadow did have a remarkable healing ability. Littlecloud wasn't sure if he'd inherited it or if it was an acquired ability resulting from a body too used to taking abuse. The wound on Darkshadow's shoulder had closed up, a thick scab waiting to fall away to reveal a scar to match the one on the other shoulder. Some of the bite marks from the rats had already fallen away to reveal their own fresh scars.
"Fine. If you promise not to push yourself too hard, I'll let you go tomorrow," Littlecloud relented.
"If I promise to be extra careful, can I go today?"
"Don't push it," Littlecloud warned.
Darkshadow shut his mouth, silently cheering for his victory. How much fatter would he become in just one day? Looking down at his torn body, Darkshadow was still quite thin, but he still felt like he was letting himself go by eating when he was just spending his day lazing around a den.
Darkshadow looked up to see Littlecloud leaving the den. "Hey, where are you going?"
"Out to get supplies. I'll be back soon."
"Damn, it gets so lonely here without your company. Who's going to watch over me like a hawk to make sure I don't move my leg to much and rip all my wounds back open?"
Littlecloud chuckled, but he caught a hint of sincerity in Darkshadow's voice. The dark tabby was lonely. Thundertail and Mudriver made occasional visits, but there was one cat that had been very obviously absent throughout Darkshadow's stay in the medicine cat's den. Littlecloud understood why. Windlegs had taken Darkshadow's betrayal hard. Harder than the other two had. He just hoped she'd be able to forgive Darkshadow soon.
Darkshadow sighed and clawed at the dirt by his nest in boredom. With a groan, he rolled onto his back, hissing slightly at the tug on his scabs. Maybe he should have pushed it with Littlecloud. He wasn't sure he'd be able to keep himself entertained for another hour, let alone another day.
"You've always got me, baby."
And that didn't make him feel any better at all. Blocking out the voice, Darkshadow stood from his nest and gave a cautious stretch.
"Ow! Fuck!" he hissed. He'd stretched too far and a couple of his scabs had ripped open, bubbling out a bit of blood.
"Better not let Mother see that. He'll never let you out of here."
Darkshadow rolled his eyes. It hadn't taken much of Littlecloud's protectiveness for Darkstripe to take to calling the tabby "Mother". Unfortunately, Darkstripe was probably close to being right, so Darkshadow carefully cleaned the wounds and hoped Littlecloud wouldn't notice. Littlecloud hadn't applied new bandages this morning. The bandages were now only necessary at night. Or at least to Littlecloud they were necessary at night. Darkshadow found them terribly annoying and uncomfortable. He was beginning to wonder if Littlecloud wasn't just trying to get his own little bit of revenge for what he'd done. Whatever the reason, Darkshadow was just glad that this nightmare was almost over. He could finally return to being a ShadowClan warrior, his whole purpose for coming back to the forest in the first place…Well, maybe not his whole purpose.
Without having to worry about Littlecloud's smothering, Darkshadow decided to spend the day enjoying the sun. It was bright outside and a flash of something caught his eye. Windlegs's pelt was brilliant in the sunlight and Darkshadow could have sworn she was looking at him the moment before he noticed her. He couldn't be certain and within moments she disappeared into the shadows of the forest. Darkshadow wanted to follow, but he could hear Littlecloud's disapproval already.
"Hey! Look who's out of prison!"
Darkshadow grinned at Mudriver. "Temporarily. Tomorrow's when it's going to be permanent."
"Littlecloud is finally letting you out?" Mudriver's expression turned into one of elation when Darkshadow nodded. Without thinking, he tackled Darkshadow in celebration.
"YOW! Jeez, Mudriver, do you want to send me back with a few broken ribs before I've even been released?"
"Oh! Yeah! Sorry!" Mudriver quickly backed off and let Darkshadow up.
"No problem, just go easy on me, yeah? I'm still crippled."
"Then what good to us are you?"
Darkshadow sighed and turned around. Snaketail had hobbled out of the elders' den purely for the presented occasion of tormenting Darkshadow once more.
"I was wondering when you'd welcome me back, Mama. I see your legs aren't any better." Darkshadow stopped Mudriver from lashing out a retort.
"They're stronger. No thanks to that brute. We should have cut his throat for showing such brutality to his own clanmate." Snaketail shot a glare at Mudriver.
Darkshadow physically stepped between the two. "Tell me, Mama, what made you so bitter? I know where I went wrong–"
"You were born, that's where you went wrong!" Snaketail cut in.
"That line is getting old. But if my fault was existing, what's yours?" Darkshadow closed the space between himself and Snaketail and laid down in front of her. She glared down at him but he kept an expression of curiosity. "Was it losing your kits? I hear you were bitter before that. Losing Dad?"
"Don't call him that, you mangy–"
"My mistake," Darkshadow amended. "But really, I'm curious. Tell me about yourself."
"I wish I'd killed you," Snaketail hissed.
"I already knew that." Darkshadow rolled onto his back and smiled up at Snaketail, flicking his tail over his exposed stomach. "C'mon, Mama, I'm your son."
"You're not my–"
"You know everything about me. I know nothing about you."
"And that's the way it's going to stay. You tell someone your secrets and they get power over you."
"Then you should have nothing to fear," Darkshadow rolled over and stood up, his face becoming dead serious, "should you, Mama? After all, you know everything about me. You know all my secrets." Darkshadow leaned forward slightly, intimidation coming off of him in waves as the sun shadowed his features. "You hold all the power here, don't you?"
Snaketail scowled at him, holding his gaze for several moments. Finally, she scoffed, turned, and walked away muttering to herself.
Darkshadow's demeanor changed completely as he turned to Mudriver with a smile on his face. "So if I'm gonna finally get to join the warriors, should I get a nest or something?"
Mudriver shook off the goosebumps he'd gotten from the previous encounter and grinned. "Yeah ya do! Me n Thundertail'll take care of it for ya. You like your nest all sparse n stuff, right? Or have you gone soft on us?"
"Sparse it is. You sure the other warriors won't be on edge about my triumphant return?"
"I'm sure I don't care," Mudriver replied with a shrug.
Mudriver and Darkshadow spent several hours in each others' company. Littlecloud, despite his hovering tendencies, allowed Darkshadow to stay out after some reasoning on the warriors' parts.
"Mudriver! There you are," came an irritated call just as Mudriver was relaying some of the events that had happened while Darkshadow was away.
"Shit!" Mudriver hissed and turned to face Russetfur.
"The patrol's waiting for you," the deputy growled, cuffing the gray tom in the ears.
Mudriver winced. "Yeah, I know, but I was just–"
"Just going! Now move your tail before I tear it off."
Mudriver heaved a defeated sigh and followed Russetfur over to his hunting patrol.
"We'll talk later," Darkshadow called after him.
~X~
It felt good to be racing through the forest again. Darkshadow hadn't realized just how much energy he had to burn off until he'd pounced on his first piece of prey in weeks. He was tempted to start chasing his quarries around for a bit, but he didn't want to risk raising an alarm among the forest animals. That was no way to gain the clan's appreciation back.
He wasn't on a formal hunting patrol at the moment. Russetfur had agreed to give him the dawn border patrol. He never thought he'd beg for a dawn patrol, but he couldn't contain his desire to get back out into the forest. He hadn't been cooped up so long in moons and it was driving him insane. He was missing nights spent in the open watching the stars cycle overhead and feeling the wind swirl around the grass.
Dens were rare in the rogue territories. Sleeping places and sleeping habits were irregular to the point of nearly being unpredictable. Learning to sleep in two-leg place hadn't been as hard as he'd expected. It probably had something to do with the fact that he'd slept there after his birth. Subconsciously, he was used to it. The loud squeals of the monsters and bright lights as they passed, the horrible fumes burning his nose, the eerie lack of true darkness anywhere, all had felt strangely familiar even though he couldn't remember them from his short kithood. Sleeping in the mountains had been far better, however. The smell after rain in the mountains was different from the forest. It was sharper, crisper. It probably had something to do with the cooler air. He recalled wanting to stay in the mountains, but couldn't. He'd been there on business and the territory apparently belonged to another group of cats.
Darkshadow shook the memories away. It did no good to dwell on them. He was glad to be back in the forest. That much he would never be able to deny. He'd missed it here.
Windlegs had been on the patrol. He'd missed her, too. He wanted to talk to her but was reluctant to initiate conversation. For her part, she couldn't seem to decide whether she wanted to be near him or not. She'd constantly change pace during the patrol to either bring herself to his side, or several paces ahead of him. She went behind him once, but quickly sped up again to walk in front.
Aside from Windlegs, Stormthoughts had also been on the patrol. She spent most of the time near Darkshadow in her usual silence, but Darkshadow could feel her constantly glancing at him. It had eventually driven him to ask her why she was doing it, but she'd just smirked at him, faced forward, and remained silent.
The rest of the patrol ignored him completely which he was more than content with. It didn't take him long to realize he should have requested a hunting patrol. The mixed signals he was getting from the two she-cats was making him antsy and by the time the patrol was over, he was actually glad to be returning to camp. But he'd still been stoked up with energy so he allowed everyone to enter the camp ahead of him and took off into the forest as soon as the last of them disappeared through the tunnel.
If he had to guess, he'd have to say he'd been hunting for the better part of an hour. But hunting was becoming boring. He'd spent six moons hunting in much more difficult conditions. The activity he'd once enjoyed had turned into little more than a chore over those six moons. It was difficult to relax back into his old routine. So he stopped hunting and ran. No matter what, he had missed ShadowClan territory. The rogue territories were mostly exposed and flat until the mountains. He missed the shadows and the secrets laying in wait under every bush and around every tree.
He remembered the nights Mudriver had made him run until he thought he'd die. He remembered running with Blackstar all the way to the Moon Stone and back and the exhaustion that had hit him afterward. Now he was confident he could run for three days straight and, while hunting was now a chore, the freedom running gave him never faded. He'd spent most of his youth running from one thing or another. Now he didn't have to run away. He could run to something and face it.
He reached the edge of ShadowClan territory, just before the tall grass and bushes gave way to the shortened grass surrounding the two-leg nest that had housed Shadow, Lynn, and their sons. Venturing too near this place was what had gotten him into so much trouble in the first place. He smirked at the memory.
"We'd certainly give them a run for their tails if we returned now, wouldn't we?"
"What's this?" Darkstripe exaggerated his shock. "The great holier-than-thou prince is starting a conversation with a lowly creature such as myself for once? The apocalypse is upon us!"
Darkshadow rolled his eyes. "Don't flatter yourself. You just happen to be the only one around I could talk to about it."
"Tell me, why exactly are you talking to me about this? I thought you didn't want to relive the glory days? Missing your old friends, Princey?"
Darkshadow snarled and spun around, stalking away from the border. "Those aren't my glory days."
"Right. Your glory days came after the ring. Still, you should thank those guys for giving you practice. You sure tore it up after you rid yourself of their rules…Don't send your anger to me! You're the one that brought this up. Maybe you should talk to Littlecloud about your moodsw–"
Darkshadow angrily stuffed Darkstripe away. For once, Darkshadow's anger wasn't really Darkstripe's fault. He'd been right that Darkshadow had begun the conversation and, at the time, Darkshadow had been feeling pride. But Darkshadow knew his pride was wrong and having Darkstripe around wouldn't help him kick the habit of feeling it anyway.
The dark tabby slipped through the territory, sniffing around for the prey he'd buried. As he neared a cache, a familiar scent caught his nose. He crouched down and rolled his shoulders, flexing his claws. He released the muscles in his legs and sprang forward. His victim would have cried out, but Darkshadow clamped one paw over his mouth. A second later, the intruding tom was on the ground with one of Darkshadow's front paws holding his jaws shut and the other pressed against his throat.
"What are you doing here, Mutt?" the tabby hissed.
The black and white tom struggled. Darkshadow backed off so he could open his mouth and breathe. It took him a moment to recognize who had attacked him. When he did, his eyes widened and he lowered his body to the ground submissively. "Secret! I didn't know you were here."
"Get up, Mutt. My being here isn't the issue at hand. Your presence is the one I was asking about," Darkshadow growled.
"Yes, of course! See, I…I…"
"Spit it out or I'll go in and get it myself." Darkshadow flexed his claws, then noticed how beaten up Mutt was. "What the hell happened to you? Where's the rest of the band?"
"I left the band, like you did." Mutt averted his eyes.
Darkshadow noticed the heavily bleeding wound on Mutt's shoulder. "Well, you clearly didn't leave on good terms. What happened?"
"They…They wanted to…They wanted me to…I couldn't! I just couldn't! She was pregnant! You wouldn't have done it. She wouldn't have made you do it. I couldn't…It was so senseless." Mutt was close to sobbing.
"What is it that was so senseless?"
"She was pregnant! And she was going to make me…She wouldn't have made you do it. You wouldn't kill kits."
"She...?" Darkshadow's eyes grew wide. "You aren't talking about…"
Mutt nodded. "You mean you didn't know?"
Darkshadow shook his head. "No, I…How?"
Mutt shrugged. "It could have been anyone, I guess. She's hardly monogamous. You know that."
"I'm very well aware. But why?"
"She said she couldn't have kits and be leader. We didn't understand. We told her kits didn't matter, but she wouldn't listen. She made us kidnap pregnant housecats to experiment on. She wanted to find the safest way for us to…" Mutt sank down and covered his face with his paws. "They'd scream so much! It was almost something we could have expected from you."
That wasn't a compliment…anymore. Darkshadow's eyes were wide with horror as he placed a paw on the shaking tom's shoulder.
"But you'd never kill kits. And when she finally found a method she liked, she wanted me to do it because she said I was the one she most trusted to not go too far and fuck her up. But when she laid down and I saw her swollen stomach all exposed, I thought, 'There's kits in there and I'm about to kill them.' And I couldn't do it. I begged her not to do it or just not make me do it. She got so angry. She said you would have done it. Then she went on about how she missed you and your claws and your…um…Well, she missed you. Then she said if I couldn't do it, she'd have to get someone else. She called Buck over."
"She trusted him with that? That brute? He'd have killed her in two blows, the clumsy oaf!" Darkshadow hissed.
"I know! I warned her, but she said he just needed practice. So she told him to beat me as much as possible without killing me. As you can see, he succeeded. So she laid down again and let him get started on her. She was so quiet the whole time. After the housecats had screamed so much, I didn't understand how she could be so quiet. I thought, 'She can't be mortal. She must be some kind of monster.' I know you don't like calling anyone that, but if you'd have seen her… Then…Oh Creator…" Mutt was shaking even harder, now.
"What? What happened?" Darkshadow insisted.
"Buck hit her in this one place on her stomach, and she let out this scream like I never heard before. Well, I guess…Have you ever heard a rabbit scream?"
Darkshadow shook his head.
"It's bone-chilling. That's what her scream was like. Then she started bleeding. So much blood. And I knew what was coming. We all did. We'd seen it so many times before. Her body was evacuating the dead kits. Lilith, she was there to pull them out. They already had fur, Secret! She just pulled them out and tossed them into a pile. Four of them. So bloody you couldn't even see their colors, but their faces…Secret, their eyes were scrunched shut and their mouths were open! Lilith said it was just because they were limp and they obviously couldn't hold their jaws shut and all kits' eyes are scrunched, but I knew the truth. I knew they were screaming because, if we'd just waited maybe a couple of weeks, she would have given birth. They were alive enough to not want to die. They were alive enough to feel it, I know they were!
"When Cara stopped trembling and bleeding, she got up and, well, someone had to help her. She couldn't walk on her own after that. I don't remember who did it. I was throwing up. But she got over to the pile of her little kits that she'd had murdered and she…" Mutt looked like he was going to vomit, but he swallowed it down, "She ate them. Just ate them like they were scraps of kill. And when she was done, she turned around and cut Buck's throat. I figure she would have done the same to me if I'd gone through with it. Or maybe she just thought Buck enjoyed it too much. I don't know. He was smiling while he did it. What if they'd been his? No, they couldn't have been. She was promiscuous, but she'd never lay with him. He looked so surprised when she killed him, though. And she was smiling afterward, all proud of herself and face covered in her kits' blood."
"Sweet Creator, Cara, what have you done?" Darkshadow whispered.
"That's what I said. I said she'd gone crazy now that you were gone and I couldn't take it. I told her I wanted out. She laughed in my face and told me I'd have to wait until she'd gathered her strength back up. And then she passed out right in front of me. While she was out, the rest of the band called me a coward and ganged up on me. They said you had privileges because you were special, but I wasn't so I was just leaving out of cowardice and I didn't deserve to live. They didn't kill me, but they came close.
"When Cara woke up, she bit me out and I ran."
"How long ago did his happen?" Darkshadow asked.
"A few days ago. I haven't eaten since. My stomach couldn't handle it, but I'm getting too weak now. My wound hasn't been able to heal. That's why I, uh, you know." Mutt gestured to the scraps of meat left from what had once been a mouse and a sparrow. Darkshadow disregarded it. He'd caught plenty. "Where are you living? Someone said something about forest cats."
"I live with one of the forest clans. This is where I grew up." Darkshadow smiled as he regarded the forest, but it disappeared when his eyes rested back on Mutt.
Mutt looked around in wonder. "So this is where the Shadow Cats live?"
"ShadowClan," Darkshadow corrected him.
"Did they give you a new name? I hear they have special names, here."
Darkshadow nodded.
Mutt suddenly collapsed into a fit of coughing. Small droplets of blood coated his lips and seeped from his nose. "They sure fucked me up," he rasped. His eyes brightened, suddenly. "Hey, isn't this where you learned about healing? You could take me to the healer! Maybe he could help me. He would, wouldn't he?"
"Yes, of course he would. But it's a long way to camp. I'm going to give you something that will help you make the trip, ok?"
"I could probably make it. I've made it this far," Mutt said with a weak smile.
"It'll make you more comfortable. It's the least I can do. You're a good cat." Darkshadow flashed him a smile.
"Well, heh, if you insist. A bit of pain killer wouldn't be too bad."
Darkshadow nodded and began looking around at the bushes. "Ah, here we go."
Mutt narrowed his eyes. "I've never seen you use this herb before."
"It's not very common outside the forest, but it's the best. It'll take away the pain and help kill infection."
"How many should I eat?"
"Five should do it. It'll work fast." Darkshadow watched as Mutt leaned forward and picked one red berry at a time. He'd only consumed four before his legs became weak and Darkshadow stopped him from falling.
"What's happening?" Mutt sounded frightened.
"It's only temporary. Here, only one more. Trust me."
Mutt gave a shaky smile. "I always trusted you, Secret. That's why I wanted to find you." He accepted the last berry and swallowed it. His breathing slowed. "You're right, Secret, the pain is going away." His eyes began to close. "I'm suddenly very tired. Is that normal?"
"Yeah." Darkshadow kept his voice steady.
"I know we should return to your camp, but can I rest here for a moment?"
"Take all the time you need." Darkshadow helped Mutt sink to the ground gently.
"Thanks, Secret. You're the best." Mutt's eyes were closed and his voice was softer than ever.
"You're better than I am, Mutt. You're brave and trustworthy and good-natured. And I'm sorry." Darkshadow watched Mutt's chest grow still. He sighed and hung his head. He felt Darkstripe begin to tug at his conscious, but he warned him away. He was in no mood for his alter-ego's comments.
He hoisted Mutt's small body onto his back and carried him to a small den concealed in the tangled roots of a tree and buried him. "I'm truly sorry, my friend," he said softly before leaving.
After cleaning up the evidence of Mutt's final meal, it was less than a quarter mile back to the camp. In that quarter mile, he gathered up the rest of the prey he'd caught. No one paid attention when he dropped his prey onto the pile. An improvement from the time he was an apprentice. Perhaps rescuing Wildpaw did count for something. Darkshadow was no longer hungry.
He laid in seclusion on the edge of the camp until Mudriver and Thundertail returned from their patrol. They greeted him exuberantly, but immediately picked up on his down mood.
"Wassa matter, buddy?" Mudriver asked.
"Oh, I'm just nervous about my first night in the warriors' den. I doubt anyone here is too excited about sharing a den with me," Darkshadow lied.
"Yeah, well, fuck them," Thundertail said with a shrug.
"Yeah. They ought to know you're trustworthy by now," Mudriver added.
Darkshadow smiled.
"Trustworthy. Riiiiiiiiight."
"Shut up! It had to be done."
"No, no, of course it did. I'm sure your little follower understands perfectly. After all, you've murdered so many others. What's one more? And it's not like he had a clean record, either."
"I made it as easy as I could. Three would have been enough to kill him, but it would have been slow. Same as if I'd done it myself."
"And this way you didn't get your delicate paws dirty."
"It wasn't like that!" Darkshadow shouted.
"Whatever you say, Princey."
"Since when are you the voice of morality?" Darkshadow snapped.
"Me? I'm no voice of morality. I have no morals. Here I was thinking that was your job."
"There was nothing else I could do!"
"I understand. Hey, I'm not saying you had another choice. Like I said, morality's your job. You only had one option."
"Right." Darkshadow was glad to let the subject drop.
"…And on the bright side, now there's no one around to spill all your dirty little secrets."
Darkshadow fought the urge to hiss out loud as he crammed Darkstripe away before the demon could torment him any longer.
~X~
"Ok, so at least tell me one thing."
Windlegs looked over at Thicketclaw. "Alright."
"What on Earth do you see in him?"
Windlegs sighed and shook her head.
"It's a legitimate question!" Thicketclaw insisted. "I'm trying to understand this, really I am, but you're going to have to help me, here."
"What is there to not see?"
"I can name quite a few things. Looks, for one."
Windlegs quirked an eyebrow at her friend. "You, of all people, are complaining about looks?"
Thicketclaw looked confused. "What?"
Windlegs just shrugged. "Oh, nothing, never mind." She crouched down and began stalking a mouse a few feet ahead.
When Windlegs returned with her prey, Thicketclaw hadn't dropped the conversation. "What do you mean about me and looks?"
Windlegs sighed as she buried the mouse. "It's nothing, Thicketclaw, just drop it."
"No! No, I will not drop it. You can pull that innocent act with everyone else and have them melting at your paws, but not me, missy, I know you too well. Now tell me what you meant," the brown she-cat insisted.
Windlegs laughed. "Ok, fine. You were mates with a calico tom, Thicketclaw. You really shouldn't be judging appearance."
"He was unique!" Thicketclaw defended.
"I never said he wasn't. He was my friend, too, remember? But that doesn't nullify the fact that he looked like a female. Even he admitted it, once!" She chuckled at the memory.
"At least he still looked good."
"Oh yeah, really good. Downright pretty! Is that why you liked him so much? Something about you we should know?" Windlegs nudged Thicketclaw with her shoulder.
Thicketclaw batted her away, playfully. "Oh shut up. At least he wasn't covered in scars."
"I like the scars. They give him a kind of dangerous look." Windlegs rolled her shoulders.
"He is dangerous."
Windlegs frowned at Thicketclaw's sudden serious tone. "Yeah, well so am I."
"Windlegs, I'm serious."
"So I gathered. You're almost as bad as my brother. I can handle myself." Windlegs stopped and began sniffing around for prey. Suddenly, she stopped. "Thicketclaw, come here."
"Hey, you can't just change the subject on me. We're having an important conversation he–"
"Would you just shut up and come here! This is more important right now. I smell a rogue," Windlegs said impatiently.
"What? Really?" Thicketclaw rushed to Windlegs's side. "Great StarClan, you're right."
"Of course I'm right. Did you really think I'd just say that to change the subject?" Before Thicketclaw could answer, Windlegs continued, "Let's just track this guy. The scent is a couple of hours old. Maybe he was just passing through."
"There's blood," Thicketclaw pointed out.
"Then let's make sure he hasn't collapsed somewhere."
Windlegs and Thicketclaw set out tracking the rogue's scent. The blood trail never thinned. Whoever it was, they were seriously injured. The blood pooled in one area, but it looked like someone had tried to scratch it away. The trail all but disappeared and the she-cats had a tough time picking it back up. Thicketclaw found it almost by accident next to a small bush.
"There're death berries on this bush. You don't think he might have tried to eat these, do you?" Thicketclaw asked.
"If he did, there should be a body."
"Maybe he only ate one and felt sick," Thicketclaw suggested.
Windlegs looked around the area and found a few specks of blood on the tall grass. "If he did manage to walk away, he probably didn't get far." She regarded the trail in the grass. "Let's go. He probably needs help."
With great difficulty, they managed to wind their way through the grass.
"Is it just me, or does it seem like, once he got to the bush, he put an awful lot of energy into staying hidden?"
Windlegs nodded. "It's definitely odd."
The trail all but disappeared again when they breeched the grass. After some searching, Windlegs found a small hollow in the roots of a tree. But she didn't smell the rogue, anymore. The hollow was filled with a scent she knew very well. A scent she loved. Without calling to Thicketclaw, she crawled into the cramped space. The dirt under her paws was soft, like it had been freshly disturbed. Holding her breath, she began to slowly dig.
"There you are, Windlegs. What're you doing in…?" Thicketclaw trailed off when she saw Windlegs uncover a patch of fur. "What's that?"
Windlegs uncovered enough of the fur to get a good grip and began to pull. Thicketclaw wanted to help, but the den was too small for both of them. After straining for a while, Windlegs managed to win the tug-of-war with the ground and pulled the thing free. Thicketclaw gave her room to back out and helped her tug the dirty being the rest of the way into the light. Thicketclaw gasped at the sight and backed up a step.
Windlegs's eyes were wide. "I think we found our rogue."
Even under the layer of dirt, the bloody wounds were obvious all over the body. It was a shocking sight. Not quite as shocking as another recent corpse, but it was enough to make Thicketclaw turn away.
"Bodies don't bury themselves, Windlegs. We have to tell Blackstar."
"No!" Windlegs said too loud. Taking a deep breath, she continued in a calmer voice. "Help me bury him, again. We aren't going to tell anyone, yet."
"What? Why not?" Thicketclaw took in Windlegs's haunted expression. Her nose picked up on the scent filling the hollow. "You think Darkshadow had something to do with this, don't you?"
"Just give me a chance to talk to him?"
"Talk to him? What will you say? 'Hey, Darkshadow, have you been beating rogues to death recently?'"
"Maybe there's a good reason for this. Maybe he just found the body and buried it. Maybe he's already told Blackstar."
"That's a lot of 'maybe's."
"All I'm saying is we don't have all the facts. There could be a perfectly reasonable explanation for this. Please, Thicketclaw, I'm asking you as a friend: Don't say anything. Let me talk to him," Windlegs implored.
After a pause, Thicketclaw relented. "I won't say anything. But there better be an explanation."
Windlegs affectionately nuzzled Thicketclaw's shoulder. "Thank you."
"Whatever let's just get this thing buried before dark. It's creeping me out."
Windlegs gave her a comforting smile, knowing the body was doing more than creeping her friend out. Not wanting to dig up anymore bad memories, she pulled the body back into the hollow and began burying it.
Please, StarClan, she prayed as she finished covering the corpse, let there be an explanation.
~X~
Darkshadow tossed and turned in his nest. It wasn't uncomfortable. Mudriver and Thundertail had built it perfectly and situated it near theirs by the far wall of the den. He didn't mind being flanked by the wall and his friends. He wasn't too close to them that he felt overheated and he was far enough from the wall that he wasn't getting a chill. The problem came from the fact that he was sleeping in a den at all. He'd become so used to sleeping outside, it was difficult to convert back. That, and he hadn't spent much time sleeping in dens when he was living in ShadowClan the first time, anyway. Snaketail made sleep difficult most of the time in the nursery and it was so large compared to his tiny body he might as well have been outside. He'd spent a lot of his apprenticeship sleeping outside as well. Unless it was raining, he'd been spending his nights outside until Tigerstripe left.
It was strange. He'd been expecting his discomfort to come from the negative feelings of the other warriors at sharing a den with him, but, while there had been a few hesitations, no one said anything about it. No one had even moved their nests away. Even Tigerstripe stayed quiet about the arrangement. Windlegs had avoided him more than the orange tabby had, which he didn't understand. She was acting so strangely. Thinking about her wasn't helping him relax.
Finally giving up, Darkshadow stood and carefully weaved his way between the nests to leave the den. A fresh blast of air filled his lungs as soon as he stepped out. He hadn't even noticed feeling stifled until this moment. Littlecloud's den was smaller than the warriors' den, but there was a sky-light that was only covered in the rain to ensure a fresh-air flow to the patient. Darkshadow looked up at the stars. They didn't make him feel small like it did the rogues, and it didn't make him feel watched over like it did the forest cats. Looking up into the sky and knowing there was no end made him feel limitless. It made him feel like there was no end to anything, even life.
But there was an end to life, all life. Whether by murder or accident or age, everyone and everything died. Old or young. He would die.
Darkshadow suddenly felt very tired. He considered just falling asleep outside, but that wouldn't help promote his unity to the clan. With a final deep breath, he slipped back into the den and to his nest.
He didn't see or even feel the pair of blue-green eyes watching him the entire time…
When I first created Speckledthorn, he was an outcast like Darkshadow. When I decided to make him friends with Tigerstripe instead, all the jokes I wanted to make about the fact that he looks like a girl were tossed out. But I resurrected the idea for this chapter because I thought it made a good counter-argument for Thicketclaw bringing up the fact that Darkshadow's scars make him less than attractive to some. Me, I like scars, but to each their own.