Going Home
A/N: Apologies for leaving you all hanging for so long. It wasn't intentional. Another story that I honestly hadn't intended to turn out as long as it did took over my muse and distracted me for a while and life was demanding also but I want to sincerely thank all those who read my last chapters and left such uplifting reviews. I am very grateful for your continued support and now back to the action!
Chapter 36
Mike never wasted a second and while Steve moved awkwardly sideways Mike drew back slightly for momentum and kicked the door as hard as he could. The lock buckled, the door flew open and before Mike could regain his balance to stop Steve from entering, his determined partner had limped painfully in through the now open door, grabbing the back of the couch as he did to stop himself falling forward. Henry was sitting in his armchair, the bolt action rifle pointing up under his chin, his finger poised on the trigger and tears free falling down his cheeks. The horror of the sight made Steve forget his pain momentarily as he yelled loudly.
"NO ... Damn it Henry, put that gun down NOW!"
Henry hadn't expected the sudden burst through the locked door but regained his resolve again quickly.
"Get out Steve. I don't want you to see this. Just get out ... please. "
Mike raced in behind Steve but the second movement caused Henry to push the gun further upwards as he screamed louder.
"Who are you? Get out of my house. GET OUT!"
Seeing the unnerving reaction that Mike's presence had caused and fearing the worst, Steve spoke backwards to Mike but without taking his eyes off his Uncle at the same time.
"Mike ... wait outside the room please."
"No Steve. I'm not leaving you in here with HIM, not in the state you're in and while he has that gun."
Again Steve wished that Mike wouldn't argue. He knew he was acting out of concern and loyalty and he valued both of those attributes in Mike but right now he felt that he needed to deal with this situation by himself. Henry was getting increasingly more nervous by Mike's presence and while he was there Steve feared he wouldn't make much progress.
"MIKE ... Please do as I ask you. I need you to wait outside. I can handle this. You have to trust me."
"I do trust you buddy boy. It's HIM I don't trust. What if he turns that gun on you? What then huh?"
Before Steve could plead further, Henry's shaky but deep voice filled the room.
"I won't hurt him ... I'm the one who deserves to die ..."
Again before Steve could speak, Mike stepped forward angrily and grabbed Steve's elbow to steady him.
"Oh so you won't hurt him huh? Well what about all those years ago? You hurt him then, didn't you? Well DIDN'T you? "
Steve turned, horrified at Mike's angry outburst and placed his right hand on Mike's chest in an attempt to calm the older man's temper.
"MIKE ... Stop ... Don't do this now."
"I'm sorry Steve but he needs to hear this. " Mike addressed the younger man dolefully then returned his anger and attention to the older man in the armchair as he heard Steve pleading again with him.
"No, Mike ... Please don't."
"People like you don't change just like that. People who hurt children are beyond contempt. Is this how you want to apologize to him. Well IS IT? By making him witness your suicide? Haven't you done ENOUGH? For God sake man! Put down that gun and show some decency for ONCE in your life. Accept what you've done and take responsibility for it."
Steve watched as Mike's words hit home and as Henry started to shake violently. He saw the finger that was on the trigger shake and even though his pounding heartbeat belied his calm facade, he turned once more to speak to Mike more calmly.
"Mike, are you done? Have you said what you felt you needed to?"
Mike knew that he had stepped across the line and said more than he should have but the pent up anger he had carried towards this man had been more powerful than he had imagined and finally laying eyes on the man who had caused Steve's years of torment had caused that anger to be unleashed unmercifully. He knew with his words said, that he now had to let Steve take over and knew by Steve's tone that he had disapproved of his intervention, so he merely nodded apologetically and stood aside and watched as Steve leaned his body against the couch and sidled along it very slowly past Mike, partly because his police training in these situations was starting to kick in and he knew that sudden movements in these situations could easily panic the person holding the gun and cause fatal circumstances but also because his injured body couldn't move too quickly right now even if he needed it to. His heart was pounding so hard that it threatened to explode from his chest and he struggled for the right words to say to resolve this situation the way he wanted to.
"Henry ... It doesn't have to end like this. Just give me the gun and we'll walk out of here together. You and me. What do you say? We'll have that talk you wanted us to, ok?"
More tears fell from the older man's cheeks as Henry stared at Mike first, processing the painful home truths that Mike had practically shoved down his throat moments earlier before turning his attention back to his very slowly advancing nephew.
"NO ... We both know that talk is over ten years too late."
Despite the level of upset, guilt and angst that the older man was visibly harboring, he saw Steve slowly approaching towards him as Steve's injuries hindered his usual stealthy movement forward. He pushed the gun more strongly upwards making a sharper indent under his chin and a worrying look of decision and determination crossed his Uncle's face.
"Stop where you are. Don't come any closer Steve. Your friend is right. I have to take responsibility. "
As Steve looked curiously and apprehensively at Henry, the older man turned his eyes back to where Mike was standing.
"Get him out of here please ... Please ... Take him outside."
Mike felt torn. He knew his duty as a Police Officer was to prevent this life from being lost even if he had very little sympathy for the choices this man had made in his life which had led him to this situation but he also didn't want Steve to witness Henry taking his own life as he knew that horrific image would torment Steve for the rest of his life and that the young man would blame himself for it even though it wasn't his fault. Seeing the unwavering determination on Henry's face, Mike made his decision and grabbed Steve's shoulders.
"Steve, COME with me now."
But Steve pushed out of Mike's grasp and headed towards Henry more purposefully this time his right hand pointing at the older man and his voice dripping with desperation..
"NO! I won't leave just so you can bail out on your actions with a clear conscience. Rose is out there Henry. She loves you. You can't do this to her. "
"Rose is better off without me. I just killed our son. I've done nothing but bring her misery. Now get out Steve. Please just get OUT. "
Despite the fact that the loud bellowing voice brought back unpleasant memories for Steve, he found a strange inner strength in his need to retrieve that gun back from his Uncle's hands and remained stalwart in his resolve.
"I can't do that and you're WRONG. Mikey's still ALIVE. Do you hear me Henry? He's still alive and the ambulance is on the way. He has a good chance to make it and you're wrong about Rose too. She always stands by you Henry even when there were times I never understood why ... Don't repay her loyalty by doing this to her. It would devastate her and you know that ..."
All the while he was talking he began moving slowly closer again, Henry's attention now on thinking about Rose and no longer paying heed to Steve's movements. But then he ran out of couch and knew he had to breech the gap between the couch and Henry's chair unaided. He wasn't sure if his knee would hold out but he knew there was no other choice. He felt Mike's eyes watching him from behind and threw a quick glance back at his partner. Mike knew what he was considering and shook his head to discourage him and beckoned him back. The situation was too volatile and unpredictable and Mike feared what would happen if Steve made a grab for the gun.
Steve was looking more unsteady and paler by the second and the blood from his arm was still dripping steadily down from the blood soaked bandage on his left hand. Mike could sense that he was being fuelled by pure adrenaline alone and feared that when the situation resolved for better or worse Steve's condition would deteriorate rapidly. He heard the sound of sirens approaching from the open window in the room and knew help was coming and would be with them shortly and hoped that Steve could hang on until they got there. He went to follow after Steve but the young man gestured for him to stay where he was. Henry was sobbing again and had stopped answering but Steve could tell that mentioning Rose had been a smart move and had halted Henry's actions if only temporarily to allow him to get nearer.
Steve took one brave step away from the steady support of the couch and bore as much of his weight as he could on his left leg but still his right knee protested as a sharp stab of pain seemed to explode in the muscle behind it. He swayed where he stood as he bit back the yelp of pain that had screamed to be released and Mike went to approach him again but for a second time Steve gestured him to stop and nodded that he was ok, even though he knew he wasn't . His head was starting to feel light headed and he looked briefly down at his bloodied arm and swollen left hand bringing it up to nestle against his chest in a protective action as he did. The sirens grew louder and Mike could hear movement outside and knew help had thankfully arrived.
Steve felt that he was finally getting through to his Uncle when without warning Rose appeared unexpectedly in the broken doorway and screamed as she saw the scene before her.
"HENRY!"
She bolted forward but Mike caught her and stopped her from approaching Steve and Henry. Henry looked horrified that Rose had seen him like this and screamed like a drowning man.
"Please get her out of here. PLEASE ..."
Mike took hold of the by now heartbroken woman slumped in his arms and moved back with her towards the doorway speaking in a soothing but anxious voice as he did.
"Please Mrs. Ryan. Do as he says. Steve will handle it. Everything will be ok."
Steve looked gratefully at Mike for his faith in him and for removing his Aunt from the already out of control situation and hoped in this instance it wouldn't prove to be misguided. He took another agonizing and faltering step and spoke shakily, holding out his right hand as he did, knowing he had to get through to the man in the armchair and quickly.
" ... Uncle Henry ... "
As Henry heard those two words he looked up at Steve who was now just a few steps away from him in astonishment. He spoke even more unevenly, a deep remorse that Steve had never witnessed from his Uncle, now strongly evident in the older man's eyes.
"You ... you haven't called me that ... for a long time now ..."
Steve took one more small painful step forward, worried that his knee felt close to buckling and stammered emotionally.
"I know ... I haven't felt able to for a long time."
"Can't say as I blame you ... " Henry uttered dejectedly and then looked questioningly back up at Steve as more tears filled his eyes.
"Why now? Out of pity? Or to make me give you this gun?"
Steve shook his head, feeling very shaky as the pain in his knee increased the longer he was standing.
"NO ... because you saved my life out there ..."
From where Mike stood in the doorway still supporting Rose, those words that reached his ears over Rose's mournful cries, almost froze the blood in his veins. Mike knew from Steve's condition that things had gone down badly but hearing that made him realize how close things had been and his mind raced as he realized that he could have found Steve's dead body instead when they had arrived earlier. He waited as he heard Steve continue.
"I figure that has to count for something. You did the right thing out there and I never thought ... I'd ever hear myself say that to you. It's over now. You need to give me the gun ... Please, Uncle Henry ..."
Steve's voice broke slightly as bad memories returned of other times he had pleaded with his Uncle using those same words ... only then he had been asking him to stop dragging him or shouting at him or punishing him and those times his pleas had fallen on deaf ears and had been ignored. He silently prayed this time his Uncle would listen as he hobbled forward one more time, now practically beside the armchair so that he could lean some of his weight against it and reached out towards the gun slowly.
Henry looked up into Steve's striking green eyes and that haunted, pleading look brought those times back to him too. Those times, hatred for the boy, fuelled by Mikey's lies had prevented him from showing mercy, from giving in to Steve's request, but today he felt differently. Knowing what he knew now he felt respect for the young man in front of him. Respect for his courage as he seemed to notice for the first time how badly hurt his nephew was. There he stood before him trying to stop him from taking his own life when all he had done on him in the past could easily have hardened him into not caring. This time he couldn't refuse ... not this time ... and so slowly he eased his finger from the trigger and carefully handed the rifle over to Steve.
Dropping his head then into his hands, he sobbed mournfully.
"God I'm so sorry ... I'm so sorry ..."
Steve sighed heavily with relief as he made the gun safe and then used it to lean on. He felt that he should place a hand on his Uncle's shoulder to comfort him or something but couldn't bring himself to ... not yet ... He didn't have to worry about it for long though as Rose ran forward and threw her arms around her husband, engulfing him in a hug as she sobbed with him and held him tight, looking gratefully up at Steve as she did.
Mike raced forward too and grabbed Steve's elbow again to steady him, almost expecting him to collapse now that the situation had been made secure.
"Steve, are you ok?"
Steve looked exhausted and unsteady but he remained upright and stared at Mike wearily.
"Yeah, I'm ok. Could you go check with Gerry how Mikey is for me please?"
"Ok, but will you at least sit down for me before you fall down? I'll check with Gerry and I'll be right back, ok?"
Steve nodded weakly, feeling his energy reserves deplete rapidly and using the rifle as a crutch, he hobbled back towards the couch and stood and leaned back against the back of it, taking as much weight off his injured knee as he could in the process and watched as Mike hurried out of the room. Mike stopped in the doorway and looked back with concern written all over his face and studied Steve for a second or two.
"Will you be ok until I get back? You're not going to pass out on me or anything are you?" he asked not liking one little bit, the gaunt and sickly appearance of his partner and friend.
Steve forced a smile at Mike's fatherly concern and answered quietly .
"No, I'll be ok. I'll be sure to wait until you get back to do that, alright?"
"You make sure you do ... wiseguy." Mike joked back, as he then turned and disappeared from sight.
Steve stood watching the doorway for Mike's return. He had his back to Rose and Henry, their tortured sobs draining him further as he felt his arrival this afternoon had caused the whole mess that had just happened and somehow felt he deserved his new injuries for betraying Mike's trust and heading off on his own. He should have known better, he told himself as he ran his right hand through his hair. He felt so tired and his head was starting to swim. His heart had stopped pounding but he felt himself shaking as the events of the last hour and a bit fully sunk in. It could have easily taken a more sinister turn and his life could have ended had Henry not finally heard Mikey's confession and come to his aid. Who would have thought that Henry would have been the one who saved him from certain death. He was still having a hard time getting his head around that fact alone.
Outside Steve heard more sirens arriving and tried to listen for Mike's voice but the commotion outside now with a neighbour's dog barking, sirens blaring and a number of urgent voices all talking together made picking out one particular voice an impossible task. He shifted a little uncomfortably where he stood, his left leg feeling the strain of taking the weight of his other one when he noticed a change in the voices behind him. Rose's voice sounded frantic as she called her husbands name.
"Henry? Henry what's wrong? HENRY?"
Steve whipped around where he stood and saw his Uncle grasping his chest and fighting for breath. Henry tried to stand and keeled over onto the floor at Steve's feet as Rose's piercing scream cut through the atmosphere in the room sending a cold chill down Steve's spine. Rose raced to kneel down at her husband, grabbing his hand and hysterically screaming for him not to leave her. For several seconds Steve stood rooted to the spot as he watched the horrifying scene unfold at his feet incredulous that this was happening after everything had been resolved satisfactorily moments earlier. A horrendous gurgling sound echoed from deep in Henry's throat and Rose screamed Steve's name, breaking him from his stunned trance.
"STEVE! HE'S HAVING A HEART ATTACK. PLEASE HELP HIM."
Shaking the dizzy feeling from his head he knew he had to find a little strength from somewhere to deal with this new crisis. But how? Rose's words echoed around his foggy brain ... "Please help him" Help Henry? He didn't know if he could. He didn't even know if he really wanted to but his police training kicked in again. A life was in danger and regardless of whose life it was, civilian or criminal he had taken an oath to serve and protect. Regardless of what had happened between them in the past, Henry had saved his life today and there was a return favor to be paid.
He knew it was going to hurt like hell but as his adrenaline levels soared again, he dropped the rifle to the floor and sunk down onto his knees, his right knee protesting the move as it throbbed and pulsated agonizingly and for a moment the intense pain caused the room around him to momentarily fade in and out. He shook his head and took several deep breaths to stop himself from passing out as he struggled to dispel the blackness that was closing in. When the pain abated a little, he noticed to his added horror that the gurgling sound had stopped and Henry was now frighteningly still. He reached over to take his pulse urgently as Rose cried inconsolably beside him, rocking back and forth on her knees repeating her husband's name over and over in a shock like state.
Steve could feel no pulse and could tell his Uncle wasn't breathing. He knew he had to do CPR but with his left hand swollen as badly as it was that was going to be difficult but he knew he HAD to at least try.
"MIKE ... MIKE? " Steve yelled as loud as he was able to and then placed his hands on Henry's chest, the palm of his good hand in the middle of Henry's chest, underneath the other and started chest compressions.
With every compression he felt fresh blood ooze down his left arm alarmingly and could feel his left hand straining against its bandage restraint and numb as he forced it to work the way he needed it to.
When Mike had exited the house moments before he saw both paramedics working on Mikey on the lawn and getting ready to transfer him onto a stretcher . Gerry was in the middle of them assisting, his hands dripping with Mikey's blood as he had tried to staunch the bleeding. Approaching the paramedics Mike spoke urgently to them.
"How is he doing?"
"He's in a bad way. We need to get him to hospital quickly for him to stand a chance" one of the paramedics answered before turning and yelling to his colleague and Gerry. "Come on let's get him on the stretcher and into the ambulance ASAP!"
All three men lifted Mikey effortlessly onto the stretcher while the medics hoisted the various drips for transporting. When the medics had things under control, Gerry took a step back and removing a handkerchief from his pocket, he started to wipe the blood off his hands with it. Then approaching Mike he looked anxious and wasted no time in questioning him.
"Mike what's the situation in there?"
Mike held up his hands in a calming gesture.
"You can relax Gerry, everything's ok. Henry was planning on using the last bullet on himself but thank God, Steve managed to talk him out of it and disarm him. The scene is safe but Steve's in a bad way. We need to get him checked out right away. He hasn't told me much but I can see he's hurting bad and his arm is bleeding heavily."
"I'm sorry about letting Mrs. Ryan go in, Mike... We heard her husband yelling for you all to get out and as soon as Mikey was being seen to by the medics she just up and ran into the house. I tried to stop her but ... "
"That's alright Gerry. I know you did. It all turned out ok. That's all that matters."
"Dear God Mike. What the hell happened here this afternoon? "
"I don't know exactly but from the small pieces I overheard, it looks like Mikey tried to kill Steve and Henry stopped him the only way he knew how ...but we'll have to get the full story from Steve when he's up to it. Right now he needs medical attention and quickly. "
"Do we need another ambulance?"
"No, I think we'll take him ourselves in your car. The mere mention of getting an ambulance for him and he'll get himself into a worse state than he's in already."
As he spoke a police car came roaring down the street, sirens blaring and Mike gestured to Gerry.
"You go fill them in. I'll go back in and check on Steve."
As Mike was coming back up the front steps he heard Steve's blood curdling yell and raced back inside fearing that Steve was in trouble, but wasn't expecting the sight that met his eyes as he came through the open doorway to the living room. Mike saw Henry on the floor and Steve performing CPR and froze where he entered. Steve saw him arrive and yelled again in desperation.
"MIKE, we need a paramedic in here. He's having a heart attack and he's stopped breathing!"
Mike didn't need to be asked twice and ran back outside for help. Mikey was now in the back of the ambulance when Mike arrived and Gerry was in the middle of the street, having flagged down the police car that had just pulled up and seemed to be explaining the situation to the occupants of the car. Mike grabbed one of the paramedics by the arm and alerted him to the second casualty inside and as he grabbed some equipment from the ambulance he yelled for his colleague to call for a back up ambulance and to watch their patient in the back as he raced with Mike back across the lawn.
Inside Steve was on his third cycle of chest compressions and rescue breathing. He was starting to feel the strain but he was persistent in his efforts. As he breathed air into his Uncle's lungs for the second time of this cycle and watched the older man's chest rise, he went back to pumping his chest as he heard Rose sobbing beside him.
"He's gone Steve ... he's gone. "
"No ... he's NOT... come on ... breathe ...Damn it BREATHE! ..." Steve muttered helplessly as he felt his head swim again and it took every ounce of willpower he had to keep up the steady rhythm.
The CPR was taking a heavy toll on his exhausted body. Every chest pump caused his sore hand to throb mercilessly and his knee felt like it was double its normal size and as if that wasn't bad enough, his stomach was starting to hurt again too. The painkillers from earlier had worn off and the well aimed kick that Ray Baker had administered earlier certainly wasn't helping matters. Steve tried to focus on the few parts of his body that weren't hurting to take his mind off the parts that were but his strength was deserting him rapidly and he wasn't sure how much longer he could keep it up. As he counted compression twenty six of thirty, Mike and a paramedic appeared through the doorway and Steve felt relief flood his body. He continued the compressions while the medic arrived on the floor beside him and checked Henry's vital signs. Steve almost held his own breath as he waited to hear if his CPR had worked or not and the seconds it took the medic to answer felt like a lifetime.
"There's a faint pulse ... but it's very irregular. We need to get him to the hospital fast too. We NEED that second ambulance."
Steve sighed heavily and his chest heaved with the strain that he had endured and the relief that the news of a faint pulse brought. Rose's sobs eased as she heard Henry was still alive and she grabbed Steve's right arm tenderly as broken words stammered from her lips.
"You did it Steve ... You got him back ... You saved him ... Thank you Steve...God bless you ..."
Seeing the thin sheen of sweat on Steve's brow and the young man's bloodied arm and swollen hand, the medic touched Steve's shoulder and spoke softly.
"I'll take over. You need to take a break and rest until you are checked over."
The medic lifted Steve's hands and took over Henry's care as Steve cradled his left arm and leaned back against the back of the couch for a moments respite, breathing more raggedly than he knew was normal. He knew he needed to get off his injured knee and soon but how was going to prove to be a different matter entirely. His body was a mix of tortuous aches and pains and his head felt light and dizzy as he watched the medic place an oxygen mask over Henry's face and continue to monitor him closely. As soon as Mike saw Steve slump back, he raced over beside him and placed his arm around his shoulders to support him. As he did Steve's head lolled back onto Mike's arm and he spoke barely audibly.
"Mike ... I don't think I ... can get up ... "
"OK, just take it easy now buddy boy. We'll get you up don't worry."
More sirens sounded from outside and mere moments later Gerry came running in with another paramedic in tow and a stretcher. Seeing Gerry, Mike beckoned him over quickly.
"GERRY, help me get Steve up ... "
Gerry almost gasped at the sight of the young man who looked fit to collapse and taking an arm each Mike and Gerry pulled Steve up to his feet supporting him as they did. Steve's right knee buckled completely as he found himself upright and both men held him fast. As the room started to spin and his vision blurred, Steve stammered worryingly.
"Mike?... "
"What is it buddy boy?"
"If it's ok with you I think I'm gonna pass out now ... "
Before Mike could say anything else, Steve sunk downwards as Mike's voice yelling his name faded out and the darkness consumed him.