On Friday morning, Meredeth awoke with a sombreness she hadn't felt since she was a child. Even that grief had been easier to handle, for it was understood that when her mother had gone to war, there was a chance she wouldn't come back. But most of the time when people laid down for a morning nap, they were going to wake up.

Her friends and family had been amazing. Rosalita had come down from the bakery and stayed the week with them, helping to cook and clean and take care of Tessi while Meredeth dealt with the necessary details, leaving Alejo in charge of the bakery. Lanie and Ryan had gone with them to the funeral parlour and florist to make the arrangements for the services, and Castle had arranged for a post-burial reception at a small restaurant near the cemetery. . Lili, Lanie, Beckett and Honey-Milk had all taken her shopping to get the requisite shitty black clothes she'd never have to wear again, and if she'd started crying in the middle of the store, they'd passed her tissues and helped her through it. The men, likewise had taken Esposito to get a suit he could just toss away once the day was over and had determined amongst themselves that Esposito, Ryan, Castle, Dave, Gil and Constance's son-in-law Hans from Copenhagen would be pallbearerswith Cam in his military best as her honour guard.

Everyone had been present at Meredeth's request during the reading of her will the afternon prior to the service, though there were no surprises there. Constance had left almost everything, minus a few specific requests, to Meredeth, which included seed money for a retirement account for Esposito and a trust fund of nearly five-hundred thousand dollars for Tessi and future children to save for college. She'd also left money to the Twelfth Precinct's survivor's fund, the pediatric ward at Saint Vincent's hospital and the Church of San Gabriel; the last one made Meredeth scratch her head a little, until she heard the added note that while she did not have any religion, she respected family tradition, and wanted that tradition of Esposito's to remain strong.

Floral tributes arrived at the house almost hourly and some weren't just from Constance's old friends and colleagues but also from people she worked with as well as Esposito's family. Her Twitter page had crashed from the influx of support and prayers; Mila Chaka and Milo Ventimiglia had even called her after seeing the Twitter posts to offer condolences personally.

And when Meredeth had just been too overwhelmed with everything, she'd only to look down to see her husband's hand gripping hers in support.

Meredeth looked over at him, still asleep in bed and just watched him breathing in and out. He was so warm and comforting, yet such an exciting man. His humour and strength, his sense of honour and his unwavering morale compass, all of it made him her Javier Jimeno and she knew the only way to love him more was to split into two people to do it.

He shifted, blinked the sleep out of his eyes as his hand moved in a circle to try and find her. The tough cop was a cuddly sleeper, a near-perfect symbolism of just how fascinating he was. He sat up when he saw her sitting on the end of the bed.

'Hey, babe. You been awake long?'

Meredeth nodded. 'I couldn't sleep.'

'Were you having a nightmare?' Concerned, he scooted closer. 'Do you think you need to see your shrink?'

'No, just negative anticipation. I want to wake up and get this thing done, you know?'

'I know. It's never easy to say good-bye, and can't be any easier to wait to do it. What time is the service set to begin?'

'Ten. It's almost seven now and the man performing the service said we need to be there for about nine.'

'Okay. You want the shower first?'

'Yes. I'll need the time to blow-dry my hair.'

Esposito watched her go, a zombie-shadow of his Meredeth, set to auto-pilot. Tossing aside the duvet, he passed into the nursery to see Tessi just waking up.

'Hey there princess. Our queen's in mourning and she needs us. So what do you say we do our best to make sure she gets through this?' He held out his fingertips and teared up a little when Tessi inadvertently returned his feed-the-birds. 'It's a deal.'

'It was a lovely service.'

'Yeah, it was.'

'She would have loved all those flowers. Momo loved to garden. She said it was the one time where she could go and things would make sense when life got too crazy for her.'

'Kinda like the way you have your cooking.'

Meredeth nodded, stirred the cranberry punch in her glass. She didn't want a drop of alcohol, not yet, until they were back home. The services, and that was the only way she knew how to last the day without breaking completely was calling them that instead of the F-word, had been simple and private, only Meredeth's friends and family were there, along with Esposito's parents and Martha; even Chin and Anna were there with their husband and wife respectively. Riki and Hans had flown in from Copenhagen and Meredeth had felt more than a little weird seeing her aunt, as Riki was her mother's twin. Dwelling on that made things creepy as well as depressing. Her other aunt had, as per the will, been at the wake only and not the burial owing to what had happened when Meredeth was a little girl in her care.

'Hey girl.'

Lanie sat down beside Meredeth, put Carey on her knee. 'How you holding up?'

'Fine, I suppose. I'm not hungry just yet.'

'I didn't think you would be. Food at funerals creeps me out, it's like your uncle died, have a crab cake Weird.'

'Merry sad?' Carey asked his mother in a little voice. 'Tears?'

'Yes, baby she's sad.'

'Oh.' Carey wriggled out of his mother's hold and hugged Meredeth around the knees. 'No sad.'

'Thanks Carey,' Meredeth managed a small smile for the toddler. 'He's getting big.'

'He is. Where's Tessi at?'

'Lili has her, she wanted me and Javi to have a little breathing time.'

'Oh, of course. Carey, let's go find Daddy, okay?'

The two of them wandered off, and Meredeth sighed heavily as she leaned against her husband. 'I feel numb. I can't figure it out.'

'Then don't try to just now, my love. Just deal with it as it comes. Look, here comes someone who is guaranteed to make you smile.'

Meredeth glanced up and saw Ryan, Honey-Milk and Dell in their mourning black, looking as depressed as she felt. Dell, being the charming toddler even in such a bleak moment, immediately climbed into Meredeth's lap.

'Here, Meredeth.' He reached into his pocket and pulled out a little white Kleenex, dabbed at her cheeks. 'I make the tears go away.'

'Isn't that my job, little bro,' Esposito teased the little boy and Dell nodded.

'You moosh Meredeth, make her suh-mile. That your job.'

'Mere, if there's anything you need at all, don't hesitate to ask. In fact,' Honey-Milk glanced up at Ryan and nodded. 'We'd like to have Tessi for an over-night at our place so you two can get out and go dancing or shoot some pool or whatever you need to do to just get out and have some fun after this is all concluded, okay?'

'Thanks Jenn. And thank you too Dell, for your tissue,' she added, givign him a squeezing hug.

Dell leaned in and gave Meredeth a little peck on the cheek. 'Don' suh-tay sad, Meredeth. Javi moosh Meredeth for a smile.'

'If you insist.'

Esposito leaned in and gave Meredeth a small, sweet kiss, so kind and tender Meredeth felt her lips genuinely curve up at the gesture. 'There, how's that?'

'Good. See you soon, Meredeth. I go find my Tessi.'

Meredeth watched him go, then turned to Esposito and blurted out, 'can we have everyone at our place for a barbecue for dinner tonight? Like around eight or so? We can put the kids in the guest rooms for sleeping or on cots in the nursery.'

'Of course Mere.' He was a little taken aback by the sudden idea, but understood it more when she added, 'the house we live in, that was my grandmother's place before it was mine and she wouldn't want it empty and lonely with just us there being sad. She'd want it full of people laughing and celebrating her life, telling stories about her. But just the people from the Twelfth, and your parents, and Martha. I don't want Riki or Hans or Terrence there.'

'Okay. I'll go talk to Castle since he seems to be in charge of herding people.'

Esposito kissed her hand lightly, and found Castle talking to Robina and Lili; his sister passed him Tessi when she saw him there. 'Meredeth wants to have everyone at the house for dinner tonight,' he said, explaining what Meredeth had told him. To his surprise and the first bit of happiness he'd felt all week, the others nodded in agreement.

'That sounds lovely,' Castle agreed. 'We'll all bring something, you just worry about your girls.'

'Thanks, bro. I know it's short notice, but-'

'Hey, we're family. We've got each other's backs.'

R&R&Enjoy.