CHAPTER 36
NOVEMBER
It took Peeta all of one second to realize that he knew this guy. He might not have known him personally but he'd seen him only minutes ago. He was the kind of person it was almost impossible to forget and let slip out of your mind. Peeta had met a lot of people in his life but of everyone he'd met, the person staring at him right then was one he'd always remember, even if he didn't want to.
He was the guy dressed all in black who he'd seen standing stock-still outside the window in his biology class. He'd looked creepy then, but seeing him standing there in the flesh in front of the two of them was downright chilling. That was the only word he could think of to describe him. He was still dressed in black but unlike before, he was also wearing a long black coat that completely covered his shirt and torn jeans. His eyes still had the crazed, sinister look of a madman and when Peeta's eyes met the gunman's, he swore his heart skipped a beat. Little did he know that this was just the kind of effect the stranger could have on those who stumbled across him. He had all but to look people in the eyes and they'd feel like their head was throbbing, or they were losing their voice or that the world itself was spinning and they were left feeling shaky, dizzy and more than a bit nauseous.
What he also realized was that seeing this guy hadn't been a trick of his mind at all. It had been real, and the guy was now standing in front of Peeta and Katniss with a gun at his side. At his side was a weapon that could do a lot more damage and destruction than Peeta would have liked to have had to accept, but there was no getting around the disturbing and unavoidable truth that this guy indeed had a gun. Worse, judging by how many shots had been fired throughout the school, there was no denying that he wasn't afraid to use it.
Without even thinking, Peeta took Katniss by the hand and both cautiously and silently started pulling her back. He knew there was no escaping this armed gunman but the only thought crossing his mind right then was protecting Katniss. He wasn't even thinking about himself or anything else...only that she had to be kept safe. That was all that mattered. He'd provide her with whatever protection he could – even if that meant offering her himself as a means of protection. As long as she was kept safe from the waiting gun in the guy's hands, then he could let his mind fall into a state of peace at knowing that he'd succeeded in protecting her. He could fall into a state of comfort at knowing that he'd prevented anyone from harming or laying a finger on her.
"Where ya goin'?" the guy asked calmly. He didn't move, follow them or even raise his gun to open fire. He simply stood there with his arms at his sides and an eerie smile on his face. "Got nowhere to hide."
"T-the police are c-coming," Katniss stammered, barely getting the words out. "They're gonna b-be here any—"
"Minute?" the guy asked, finishing her sentence. He then laughed and shot back coldly, "You think I give a fuck?"
It was clear this was a guy who wasn't worried the slightest bit about getting caught. It was all too obvious that this was a guy who went out searching for trouble and concerned himself only with whatever task he had in mind. He didn't fret about the police snatching a hold of him because the only thing he put all his attention on was achieving what he'd set out to do. Things like the police just weren't a threat to a guy like him and the two were already starting to realize that.
Peeta stared at the guy with widened eyes. He kept glancing between the guy's glaring eyes and the gun grasped in his hand. It was like his mind had gone blank and he was having trouble making sense of what was happening. The whole thing felt completely and utterly like a nightmare. But unlike all the nightmares he'd encountered over the past month none of them could even begin to compare to what he was experiencing right then. All the fear and panic he'd ever been struck with even in his most startling dreams couldn't match what he feeling while standing there with Katniss behind him and the gunman only a few feet in front of him. There wasn't much he could register, only that it felt like he was struggling just to make out who he was, where he was and what was unfolding around him.
And just like the gunman was so easily able to do with those that found themselves trapped in his presence, Peeta suddenly found himself feeling dizzy and lightheaded. He feared that if he went on staring at the gun for even a few seconds longer he might actually black out but no matter how much pounding was going on inside his mind, there wasn't a chance in the world that he'd let that happen. If he passed out and went unconscious, then who'd be there to protect Katniss? Who would be there to ensure that this madman didn't fire a single bullet into her body? The answer was no one and he knew that if there were any hopes of keeping her safe, then he had to ignore whatever light-headedness that was consuming his head and focus only on remaining in front of her.
"Y-you're not really gonna bomb the school," Katniss said, her voice cracking, and the gunman could sense the sheer terror in her voice and it was all but amusing to him. For a sick and twisted guy like himself, it was all but hilarious to him knowing the fear he could inflict on those that were unfortunate enough to land in his sights. It gave him a power that no sane, ordinary person could ever make sense of. People only say that so everyone will—"
"Oh, really?" the guy interrupted with an amused, arrogant smirk. "You think so?"
He spread his arms out on either side of him and it was unmistakable what he'd cleverly placed in the pockets of his black jacket – bombs. They were small in size and round-shaped but there was no doubt in Katniss's mind that they'd be of enough force to bring down the entire school and leave it in ashes while blasting every person inside it to bits. From where she was standing, she guessed there were close to ten bombs and as she looked from one explosive to the next, she almost stopped breathing entirely. It was like she was forgetting how to breathe because the image in front of her seemed too unspeakable to be real.
"Still think I'm bluffing?"
Peeta took a nervous breath and asked shakily, "W-what do want? Money? Because I can give you that! A-anything you want, I'll give you! Just t-tell us what you want."
The response he got from Titus wasn't what he or Katniss wanted to hear. Before giving his answer, however, the gunman opened his mouth and let out a laugh but it was unlike any laugh either had ever heard. The instant they heard the disturbing sound, both knew this wasn't a laugh that belonged to just anyone and that was because it was a maniac's laugh. From every room in the school, students and teachers were met with the sound of this sinister laugh, and so many feared their lives would soon be over. This echoing laugh seemed to be coming from all directions and those hiding in fear could think of only a single thing, and that was that the gunman would soon be upon them.
Unable to stop from snickering, Titus replied evenly, "I don't want your money." His victim had no idea how truly hopeless it was to try and bargain with a guy that had a one-track mind, with a guy that obsessed over only a single thing in life. He wasn't aware that while money meant everything to so many others, it meant nothing to this person.
"W-what do you want?" said Peeta, and an abrupt shiver swept over his body.
"You," was the gunman's unnerving response, and he was now staring intently at the guy opposite him. Not once did his eyes blink, nor did his body move even the slightest, and that was because it was now locked in place. He was now exactly where he needed to be...and so was Peeta.
Peeta just stared at the guy with his mouth open in fear and confusion. He hadn't been aware of it, but in those few long seconds his heart had started to beat faster as if it sensed what was coming. The guy laughed as if the whole thing were all but comical for him, and then raised his gun. It appeared there was more going on in this guy's head than Peeta had wanted to believe and he feared that he and Katniss had landed themselves dead center in the harsh, tragic position where there was no chance of dodging his unremitting lunacy. That was when it struck Peeta that if the police didn't arrive in time, then whatever it was this gunman had in mind...there would be absolutely no way of stopping it. Whatever sick, abysmal plan it was he'd taken the time to so meticulously map out, there wouldn't be a single person that would be able to prevent it from occurring.
"In front of her...now," was all he said, keeping his gun directly on Peeta.
"W-wait, just think this over f-first—" Peeta desperately implored, but with a grim feeling that whatever he said from this point on would accomplish nothing.
"I'm not here to fuck around!" he snapped impatiently while clenching his teeth. "Just get the hell in front of her!"
Dumbfounded, Peeta opened his mouth and uttered nervously, "You don't w-want to do this."
His words would go in one ear and out the other for the gunman. He knew the second the words escaped his mouth that the odds of this guy actually considering what he had to say would mean all but nothing to him. He didn't care what Peeta or Katniss had to say and any efforts they had of attempting to escape the alarming dilemma they were now in would be seen as all but pathetic to him.
"NOW!" the guy hissed, and once more chills like he'd never known existed were slithering down Peeta's back. "You want that chick to live? You want me to shoot her goddam brain out of her head? Then do what I say and fuckin' move!"
Peeta quickly got in front of Katniss and without hesitating for even a second, took hold of her other hand and held it tightly in his own. He could feel the quiver in both of her hands as she did all she could to stay calm and under control but she was anything but and all she could think was that the world she'd once known was about to crash down upon her. Her eyes never left the gun that was pointed directly at them and soon she found it was hard even to breathe. Though she wasn't, she felt like she was trapped underwater and was fighting with all the strength that was in her to reach the surface, but no amount of struggling was going to help. Just as she'd be unable to reach the surface and fill her lungs with fresh mouthfuls of air, she'd be just as unable to fall out of this gunman's sight and miraculously escape from the gun in his hand. The most she could do was take deep breaths and try not to let her body go limp as she fought to keep standing despite the fact that her legs felt like jelly.
Peeta took a breath that felt all but painful and asked in a trembling voice, "W-what's this all about?"
"I'm here for you, Peeta," the guy told him bluntly. Not a trace of compassion or any other sort of emotion was evident in his callous voice. "I don't give a shit about that girl behind you or even about this whole fuckin' school they call Madderson High. Those aren't important. All I care about is you."
"W-what?" was all he could get out, not even realizing his throat was going unnaturally dry.
His voice was now in a frightened whisper and he feared his heart might leap out of his chest if it pumped any faster. Things were happening too fast and the words were coming out of the gunman's mouth so quickly that he barely had time to make sense of them or what it all meant. All he understood was that the cunning look in this guy's eyes combined with the gun in his hand was starting to make him fear what just might be about to happen. Considering that his heart was now beating near out of control, his head felt like it would explode and his entire body felt like it was shuddering...he could only guess that his fears might in fact be true.
"I'm not here to cause a massacre," he explained, staring straight into Peeta's eyes. "I'm only here for one person and that person...is you." Not once did his glaring eyes blink, nor did his body shift even the slightest. His attention was only on Peeta Mellark. Everything else – the school, the students, the teachers and Katniss – were all irrelevant and of no importance to him.
What the gunman then said was so unbearably painful that Peeta felt like his entire life was flashing before his eyes and there wasn't a single thing he could do about it. It felt like the walls of the school were slowly but rapidly closing in on him and soon he'd be all but crushed. He felt as if he and the gunman were now the only two people in the school and that any chance of him reaching safety was practically impossible.
"I'm here to kill you, Peeta!" the guy snarled with a malevolent, formidable grin. "I don't give a fuck about this stupid, no-good school. I'm only here for you. You move and you both die. If she tries to move, then it's the same thing: you both go down. And if either one of you moves then not only that, but this whole fuckin' school gets blown into nothing. And don't think you're gonna get help because I've got this window behind me, so the second I look back and see the police...I pull the trigger. There's no getting out of this. You've got nowhere to run...and no place to hide. Only two things can happen. Either you'll stay right where you are and wait for the bullet or you'll move and I'll have to shoot down that girl behind you and blow up this entire place." He wriggled his brows cunningly and in an unnervingly relaxed tone, asked, "So what's it gonna be? The death of one or the death of thousands? Your choice. Think fast though. Help's on the way...not that it's gonna do you any good."
An eerie thing then happened.
As Peeta stood there staring into the soulless depths of the gunman's eyes, he felt an icy, unnatural chill sweeping over him. Though there was no emotion in the eyes of Titus, there was something else he was observing and it only made him feel ten times colder; it was like blocks of frozen ice were settling on every inch of his body. The blood and warmth that normally flowed through his veins was draining and replacing it was an extreme iciness. What he saw made his knees go weak, his heart beat faster and his mind go numb. Even more disturbing was that he found he was unable to shut his eyes or avert his gaze somewhere else. The only place he could focus on was what he was perceiving through Titus's eyes, and it was a sight that both looked and felt like death itself. Whether Titus was using some invisible, unknown force to keep his victim's eyes locked on his own, Peeta wasn't sure. Whatever the case, it made no difference because as he went on staring into this killer's eyes, only one thing became dreadfully clear.
All but a single person was meant to see the horrific images in the gunman's eyes – and that person was Peeta.
What he was then shown – a sight beyond horrible and so unforgettable – made his throat swell up to the point where he feared he'd never be able to utter another word again.
Titus brought him to the entrance of Madderson High. But as Peeta immediately realized, this wasn't the school he had looked upon so many times, and that was because it was no more. All that was left of the place was a few sad remains and what had once been a school now appeared more like a world of ruins. As Peeta's eyes scanned from left to right in search of something familiar, he came up empty. Classrooms were no longer visible, hallways had been obliterated and the roof had been destroyed entirely. The art room that had become a second home to him was gone, as was the math room where he'd sat with Cato and Marvel, and gone too was the room where he'd listened to Mr. Boggs go on about all things biology.
Everything that made Madderson High the school it was...was gone.
Titus had stayed true to his word and what Peeta's eyes were seeing was all the proof he needed. His school was no more and that meant the gunman had indeed set off the bombs that had caused a massive explosion that had resulted in the devastation of Madderson High. Though the annihilation of a school was terrible, there was a sight much worse that hadn't yet been exposed to Peeta's eyes. All he was currently taking in was the overwhelming image of his demolished school, but the worst of the nightmare was about to make itself known.
Wasting no time, Titus then forced Peeta to make his way up to the entrance doors. Peeta had no control whatsoever over what his body was now doing and he knew all too well that Titus was the reason for this. He was nothing less than a puppet on strings and the gunman was in complete control of the show.
A few seconds later Peeta had walked up to the doors and before he could reach out to open them, both doors unexpectedly began opening. With the grim feeling that the true horror was waiting inside, he was advancing into the school and he was finally shown the tragedy that Titus had warned him of.
Upon first entering, he was met with the familiar, comforting sight of Madderson High prior to it having been blown to bits. Everything was back in place – the floor, halls, classrooms, roof and the thousands of students that went about their day – and he felt his mind relaxing slightly. He was no longer staring ahead at a scene of rubble and wreckage but rather, the calming, welcoming image of his old school.
This familiar image, however, was wiped out within seconds.
As Peeta turned the corner to head down one of the halls, he stopped short. Standing at the end of the hall was Titus and like always, he was standing stock still with his arms at his side. He wore a small grin on his face and just when Peeta was about to head the other way, he found his feet were glued to the floor. There was no way for him to escape what it was this gunman had in mind.
Still wearing a wicked grin on his face, Titus then raised both his arms and what Peeta saw made him want to faint. In the pockets of the black coat Titus was wearing were a number of small, round-shaped bombs. It wasn't till the maniac reached down, took one of the bombs and raised it high over his head for Peeta to see that he understood the true depths of the gunman's disturbing and haunting behaviour. He was a character that cared only about causing trouble, creating mayhem and doing all he could to scare the living wits out of anyone he crossed paths with.
Peeta's eyes were locked on the bombs. His eyes refused to glance away or look anywhere else but at the small devices that would bring about the end of Madderson High and everyone in it. Revealing the bombs had officially made Titus a person of death and as he'd said in his warning, these explosives were all set to give rise to immense destruction.
A few seconds was all it took.
Once Titus set off the bombs that carried death, it took all but a few simple seconds for hell to break loose. The bombs exploded; the world turned bleak and dark; a vast smoke filled the air that crept right into Peeta's throat, causing him to cough and gasp for air and the deafening screams of his fellow students left him trembling. That was the worst of all – the terrified screams of thousands of vulnerable, doomed students. Chills were sent up his spine as he realized that thousands of people around him were meeting their ends. There was no way out, no escape or no door that could lead them to safety.
Titus was a brutal killer who gave no protection for his victims. His single and only aim was to bring death, cause panic and produce the lasting, undying fear that he could so effortlessly pull off. By setting off his bombs, he had done exactly that.
It felt like a lifetime before the smoke was thinning and Peeta could see past the billowing cloud of blackness. A moment or so was all it took but when Peeta opened his eyes to see what Titus had achieved, he wished the world of smoke world swallow him up. No longer did he want to remain standing there while staring ahead with the feeling that his body was now frozen. He would have wanted to be anywhere but there, but the gunman Titus wouldn't allow it. The one responsible for setting off the bombs and creating chaos might have been dead, but he was still in control of what Peeta heard with his ears, saw with his eyes and felt in his heart.
What he saw in front of him and all around him...was death. It made no difference where he looked because it was everywhere. In front of him and scattered about like ragdolls were the bodies of his fellow students. Splattered across the floor was their blood and it wasn't till he turned and focused on the hall to his right that his fears were confirmed.
There wasn't a single survivor. Of the few thousand students that made up Madderson High, there wasn't a single person that had survived the deadly explosion. Their bodies were now cold, unmoving and still. As Peeta looked from person to person, he was met with the same frightening sight of their unblinking eyes staring lifelessly up at nothing. Only a minute ago these people had been up and about, chatting and laughing with friends while going from class to class. He felt if he went on staring at this tragic scene any longer, he'd collapse to the ground because of how numb his body had become.
But Titus wasn't finished with Peeta just yet.
Peeta was then transported to the opposite end of the school. He was dropped in front of a closed door and when he glanced up at the top of the door, his heart sank. C4 was the room he was standing in front of and it was the room where he and Katniss had officially begun talking. It was the place that had begun to feel like a home to Peeta and without having to open the door, he knew already what he would find inside.
Like with the entrance doors leading into the school, the door to room C4 slowly began opening and all Peeta wanted was to vanish. He'd rather have termites digging into his flesh than have to enter this room and be shown more of the horror that Titus had unleashed on so many lives. But as Peeta knew all too well, he was only a puppet on strings and the one leading the show was Titus. He took a shaky, unsteady breath to prepare himself for what he was about to see beyond this door, but knew it would be useless. He knew already what his eyes would be shown, but what he wasn't aware of was how truly horrendous of a sight he'd be forced to look upon.
At last the door to room C4 opened, his feet took a few steps forward...and he nearly blacked out right then and there.
He and Katniss had been in the middle of the hall when they'd encountered the gunman, but what he was now staring at made no sense. The two were supposed to be in that hallway but what his eyes were telling him something different. How it could have happened, he wasn't sure of. But he knew the vision was coming from Titus and because it belonged to him, he was in control of what Peeta saw and how he saw things. There was no doubt he had taken himself and Katniss, moved them from that hallway and dumped them off in room C4. The reason he felt like passing out wasn't so much because he and Katniss were now in this part of the school.
It was because he and Katniss were both on the floor covered in blood. They were on their backs with their arms at their sides and their mouths half open while their eyes stared blankly up at the ceiling. No expression was on their faces and from where he stood, Peeta could see that their faces were splattered with their own blood. In a short amount of time, he and the girl he loved had become victims and eventually corpses in the sick event Titus had devised. Along with the many other people in the room that had been struck by the extreme explosion, he and Katniss had been just as doomed for a tragic fate.
He couldn't believe it. Both his heart and his mind refused to believe what his eyes were telling him. Katniss Everdeen couldn't be dead. Less than half an hour later and the two would have been sitting together at the back of the room like they always did, sketching and laughing over some goofy joke he would have come up with. It would have been a day just like any other. But Titus had slithered his way into their school all but unnoticed and had cast a shadow of darkness over the two, along with hundreds of others.
Peeta felt his knees going weak. It was like the circulation had stopped and it was impossible to remain standing, though he was somehow able to keep on his feet. With the small bit of strength that was left in him, he hobbled his way over to Katniss and was dangerously close to falling on his face. A few more steps and he was now staring down at the fallen body of his lover – of the girl that meant the world and more to him.
He shook his head, not believing the sight in front of him and croaked out, "Katniss?" He kneeled down, touched her cheek gently with his hand and at once tears began filling his eyes. When he lifted his hand, it came as no surprise to him when he saw what was dripping from his quivering fingers – blood.
Letting a tear dribble down his cheek, he put both his hands on Katniss's shoulders and screamed frenetically, "Come on, Katniss! Wake up!"
He gave her a forceful shake but she remained just as still and motionless. When he put his hand where he should have felt her heart beating, he was met with nothing but silence. It was the same when he felt her neck for a pulse – nothing. Her heart had given out just moments after the series of bombs had exploded and because of that, never would her now sleeping heart beat again; it had entered a state of eternal, never-ending sleep.
"No," he cried, letting the tears slide down his cheeks. He gave a shaky breath, swallowed and snivelled, "Not you." He dropped his head and wished more than anything that the walls of the room would close in on him and would take him out of this miserable place. He had now reached the point where the pain consuming him was all but crushing, and all he could whisper to his dead lover was, "I-I'm sorry, Katniss. I didn't mean for this to happen. None of this was supposed to happen."
He rose to his feet and though he was unsteady, he managed to stay on his feet and slowly make his way over to the door. Each time he walked by one of the bodies of his fellow students it felt like knives were slashing at his body, as if he was the enemy and the only one person to blame for their deaths. When he at last reached the door, he shifted his gaze from the floor and back to the room that had once been filled with such life, enjoyment and laughter. It was now a place filled only of death, silence and misery.
It was all too clear now what had to be done. After having seen what Titus had achieved at Madderson High, it was perfectly clear. He had only to glance around one last time at his fallen classmates to see in his mind and heart what had to be done.
Once more, he said in a rattled but firm voice, "I'm sorry, Katniss." He then proclaimed to the many students whose lives had been stolen, "I'm sorry."
Before turning and departing room C4, he declared to himself quietly, "It has to be done." Despite that Titus was nowhere in sight, Peeta could feel the gunman's eyes directly on him and knew that he was watching, observing and listening to his every word.
Then, the world began spinning. The walls came crashing down, there was a sound of screaming and everything grew black and ominous. A foul smell lingered in the air and just when Peeta was wondering if he'd make it out in time...a blinding light flashed in front of him and he was shoved out of the horror and back into reality.
The petrifying vision Titus had shown to Peeta had lasted all but a few simple seconds. It was now over and Peeta was once again standing in front of Katniss with Titus blocking off any chance they had of escape. He had left the hell in his mind to re-enter the hell that was reality.
Tears were streaming down Katniss's face. Once more her head was throbbing, her arms and legs were now past the point of feeling numb and the whole scene felt like it was blurry and hazy. The only thing that remained clear as day was the gun that was still in the guy's hand. It wasn't going to leave his hand because he was there to make sure one thing happened and that was the death of the person that meant absolutely everythingto her – Peeta Mellark. He was there to end the life of the boy she'd grown to love, admire and care for and now she was hit with the excruciating fear that his life would soon tragically be coming to an end.
"Why are you doingthis?" she blubbered, letting the tears pour down her face like desolate rivers.
It was a struggle to even speak now but somehow, with the greatest of difficulty, she was able to get the words out of her mouth. It felt like knives were cutting into her throat but still she was able to speak, even if her throat did feel like it was getting slashed at and every cut felt one painful step closer to death and one intolerable step closer to losing her Peeta.
"Why isn't important," the guy stated with a careless shrug, glancing fervently between Peeta and Katniss.
His eyes were on them as if he were a ruling predator and they were all but his doomed and defenceless prey. They weren't going anywhere and the gunman knew it all too well. They were trapped and caged in a fate that would not be denied. It was a fate he'd already known would go just as he'd planned and because the help they so desperately needed hadn't arrived yet...it was indeed about to go just as he'd hoped.
Katniss tightened her grip on Peeta's hand, brought her other hand up to his neck as she told him in a choking voice, "P-Peeta, we have to move. We can't let—"
"No," he whispered, and by the tone in his voice Katniss knew instantly that Peeta had realized seconds ago how truly hopeless their dilemma was. He'd known it the moment the guy raised the gun on him. She hadn't wanted to accept what could happen but he knew it couldn't be ignored. There was no getting around what had to happen. "Katniss, we can't."
"Peeta, you can't let him!" she hollered, and the tears just kept on coming. She was near screaming now but she had to get Peeta thinking properly. She had to get through to him. She did all she could to get out of his grasp but his hands were holding her too tightly for that. No matter how much she squirmed or resisted, he would not let go of the death grip he had on her trembling hands.
"Don't you dare try and move, Katniss!" he insisted shakily, but sombrely, and she could tell by the tremble in his voice that he was dangerously close to crying, and was fighting just to keep it together. Tears poured out of his eyes as he told her in a quivering voice, "Don't you dare try and move."
He turned his head and the look he gave her made her want to crawl in a hole...and die. She wanted to find some lonely hall and bury herself into it and never have to face the cruel, horrid world again. What she wanted so badly was for this whole unbearable thing to end so she and Peeta could go and do what they would have done if not for the sudden lockdown – and that was go to art class. They would have gotten started on the mask they'd planned on working on together, but there'd be no chance of that happening now.
"Think of everyone else," said Peeta quietly, but he couldn't hold back his tears. He was now on the verge of crying and the anguish in his voice was all Katniss could decipher as he revealed to her how there was nopossible way around what had to be done. "Our friends: Madge, Johanna, Glimmer, Clove, Cato, Marvel. They'll all be dead. And what about Gale, Katniss? He's your best friend. They'll...they'll all be dead." And Rye. I can't let that monster take him...or anyone.
He then titled his face close to hers and stared gravely into her clouded, mournful eyes. In a choking voice, he murmured, "Your family, Katniss. Who'll be there to watch over them? They need you. Your mother and sister both need you. You haveto stay with them."
"No!" she argued, not letting go of his hand. He felt her give it a frenzied squeeze, and she was clutching it so strongly she half expected to break bones. "I'm not leaving you! I'm not letting you do this! Why can't it just be me? Just let me do this and—"
He tightened his grip on her hand and told her in a soft, choking voice, "Because I don't want you forgetting how differentour circumstances you die, and I live, there's no life for me at all here in District Twelve. You're my whole life. I would never be happy again."
Katniss opened her mouth to object, but Peeta slowly turned around and put a finger gently to her lips. The sadness and realization of what was about to happen was all too discernible in his eyes. When she gazed into them, it felt like it was consuming her and in seconds she'd be a prisoner to the unendurable pain that she was now encountering.
"It's different for you," explained Peeta, his voice still so hushed but as she listened, Katniss noticed the quiver was progressively vanishing. "I'm not saying it wouldn't be hard. But there are other people who'd make your life worth living."
In that one instant, Katniss thought of her family – her little sister Prim and her struggling mother. How would the two carry on without her? How would Prim remain strong for her crushed mother when her big sister was no longer there in her life? And Gale? How would he manage to get by without his best friend in his life, the friend he'd known for years? For that short moment, Katniss allowed herself to think about Prim, her mother and Gale but just as quickly her thoughts went straight back to Peeta.
"Your family needs you Katniss," affirmed Peeta, and then in an inaudible voice that she could barely hear, he told her, "No one really needs me."
There was no self-pity in his voice and as Katniss rolled the words around in her head, she realized that what he had said was true. Yes, his family would mourn him and feel upset over his passing but they would get on. It would be the same with his friends at school; they'd miss him and talk about him every now and then but they'd find the strength to move on. It wasn't until she returned her thoughts back to herself and the situation at hand that she understood something all too clearly. It was then that she realized that only oneperson would be damaged beyond repair if Peeta died and that would be her.
"I do," she snivelled, and felt that she'd reached the inexorable point where she'd let the anguish destroy her. "I need you."
"Oh...so tragic," was all the gunman remarked, and burst out laughing.
For Titus, hearing the innocent suffer through so much fear and agony was disturbingly enjoyable. Rewarding even. To hear the quiver in one's voice, to watch the tears stream down one's face and to watch one's body tremble and shudder...were all but amusing to him. So easily he could have pulled the trigger already but he was a guy that liked intensifying panic and what better way to do that than to make use of all the time he had? Why bring an end to one's life without first hammering them with as much panic, grief and fear as possible?
Peeta didn't respond to this. He only pressed his head against hers and gave her a soft, quick kiss that felt like it lasted for an eternity. He then whispered, "I love you Katniss Everdeen. I love you so, so much..."
He then turned his head and looked back to the gunman.
The guy was watching Peeta with such an intense, unblinking stare that Katniss wanted to block the image out of her sight and pretend that it had never been there. It was then that something strange happened that left her all but confused. Peeta's hand was no longer quivering and the fear in his eyes had transformed into a sort of calmness. His body was still and his breathing wasn't coming in quick, short gasps like hers were but rather, it was normal. It was both terrifying and unexplainable and made her wonder what thoughts were racing through Peeta Mellark's mind at that very second. What was he thinking? Feeling? Was knowing that he could save the girl he loved enough to put his body in a state of calmness? Or was there even a chance that he was recognizing the inevitable?
The gunman then gave a last menacing grin before declaring, "Looks like you really are the star-crossed lovers of District Twelve."
"NO!" Katniss begged, now drowning in a sea of uncontainable hysteria. "Please, don't!" In a grief-stricken, whimpering voice, she pleaded in distraught, "Don't do this! You can't!"
The guy smirked and shot back with ruthless indifference, "I can...and I'm going to."
She couldn't have been hit with any harsher of words. Hearing them, all she could do was shake her head vigorously in denial and go on imploring he not carry through with this. She could feel the desperation leaving her heart and creeping into her voice as she went on beseeching he leave them in peace. Between tears of pain and tremulous cries, she did all she could to change this guy's merciless, crazed way of thinking. It took less than a second to realize her efforts were achieving nothing. What with the permanent sneer on the lunatic's face, the raised gun and body that was still as stone, it was like she was attempting to speak with a person of another language. This wasn't the case but with the despairing silence she was receiving from the guy in front of that window, she might have believed in some other scenario that he spoke not a word of English.
Even through the rapid deterioration of hope and distressing fear of the inevitable though...still she carried on begging for a change of heart.
But no amount of begging was going to stop the gunman from what he had set out to achieve in doing. He had one thing and one thing only on his sick and twisted mind and that was to ensure the death of Peeta Mellark. Katniss couldn't stand there any longer and let this happen so she grabbed Peeta's shoulders as firmly as she could and tried moving him to the side. She couldn't let this happen. But it came as no surprise to her when he budged not even a little; it was like he was made entirely of stone and moving him was practically impossible. He was too strong for her and even if he wasn't, there was no way he was leaving her vulnerable and out in the open to get shot at. All that mattered to him was keeping the girl he loved more than anything in the world...alive.
Katniss struggled against him and in a final desperate attempt that truly was her last chance at getting through to him, she screamed, "Peeta...DON'T!"
Though her voice sounded like rumbling thunder that had crept into his ears, Peeta didn't argue or say a word in return. He simply kept standing where he was and closed his eyes while letting a smiling image of Katniss Everdeen consume his mind. Like he'd seen so many times, he saw the deep grey in her eyes that he'd gotten lost in more than once. They were the only eyes he could gaze into time and again and always feel like his troubles were washing away. He pictured her sitting in art class next to him in the same seat in the back row where they sat every day. He saw her raising the brush in her hand and then carefully lowering it to the blank page in front of her and in seconds, she was painting what would soon become a work of beauty and art. Seeing her comforting, beautiful smile in his mind...he was now at peace.
One final glance at the window behind him and Titus could see the approaching police cars in the distance. Though they were well on their way, they would in no way arrive in time to prevent what Titus had set out to achieve. He knew it made no difference how many officers showed up or how quickly they got there because no matter how fast they were moving...it would never be fast enough.
"Time's run out..." was all the gunman said, and both corners of his lips curved upward to form an unforgettably disquieting grin.
Peeta's eyes remained closed and still the image of Katniss smiling hadn't winked out of his mind.
With the gun raised and aimed directly at Peeta, Titus shifted his finger just slightly so it was now resting firmly on the weapon's trigger and then...he pulled the trigger.
Time slowed down.
It was like the hands on the clock had stopped moving and in the next few seconds that followed...tragedy had been born. But prior to that, what Katniss saw like a film playing in her head were images of her and Peeta that detailed all the time they'd spent together – their first day in art class where they sketched portraits of one another; creating paintings of a mockingjay pin and three cupcakes; having lunch in the cafeteria while discussing their plans for the future; sitting down by the lake while confessing their love for each other and then sharing their first kiss; having dinner, sharing a romantic dance and then baking a chocolate cake for dessert while studying for an algebra test; playing Truth or Dare at Glimmer's party; being introduced to his friend Delly Cartwright after she'd falsely accused him of cheating on her, and eating freshly-made cheese buns down by their special place that was the lake. It all flashed by in less than a second. One single second was all it took to replay the events that had brought them together over in her head. In one second she'd went all the way back to their first day of art class, all the way up to where they were now which was staring tragedy right in the face.
The only thing Katniss remembered after that was still sobbing for Peeta to move but it was all useless because it was at that moment that the gunman pulled the trigger...and the bullet went screaming into Peeta's chest. What filled the air was a sharp, piercing sound that ended as quickly as it began, but though it lasted for only a few fleeting seconds...it was eternity for Katniss and an even longer lifetime for the boy standing in front of her – the boy who was acting as shield for her.
It all happened so quickly and all Peeta could make sense of was that it felt like a bomb had went off in his chest. What he'd just been struck with such an intense and staggering feeling that no words could even begin to explain the pain that was now burning like wildfire inside him. How could one describe what it was like to have a bullet that felt more like a hundred knives – all impossibly sharp and jagged – lodged in their body? How could one describe what it was like to fear that the body itself would soon be destroyed?
How could one describe excruciating pain?
The impact of the force sent Peeta sprawling onto his back and that was when it hit Katniss that the thing she'd feared more than anything else was about to happen – she was about to lose the boy with the bread. Her world was about to crumble, fall apart and there wasn't a thing out there that was going to put it back together. She'd be a shattered vase and not one single person would be capable of putting her broken pieces together again because she'd be a forever broken person. Just like her mother who had fallen apart after the death of her husband, all Katniss could think was that she about to endure and suffer that same damaging breakdown.
The whole event had unfolded in all but a few minutes. In only a few minutes the gunman had succeeded in shooting his target and the absolute worst thing about the whole situation was that the police hadn't arrived in time. If they'd arrived just a few minutes earlier or even a minute then the shooting of Peeta Mellark might have possibly been prevented. It was something that would stay locked in Katniss's mind forever – the haunting fact that help had come too late. She'd been secretly hoping the moment she first heard the school was entering a lockdown that help would come in time to stop the gunman but the painful truth was that they'd arrived all but too late to stop the shooter. She and Peeta's only hope at getting pulled out of the clutches of the madman hadn't arrived and they'd been left all but alone to face the insanity of the lunatic. No one had been there to prevent the trigger from being pulled on the gun of the guy that had snuck unnoticeably into Madderson High and because of that...the boy that meant the world to her had been shot down in cold blood.
"PEETA!"
Katniss was by his side in a heartbeat.
Dropping his gun as if it was no longer of any importance, Titus turned and slowly made his way down the empty hall. Behind him was a guy clinging desperately onto life and beside him was the person that had just been forced to see, hear and feel everything. As he strode down the hall with a blank, vacant expression, he could still hear it all clear as day – Peeta gasping for any bit of air he could offer his lungs and Katniss fighting to keep herself strong and hopeful for Peeta, but feeling as if she was failing terribly. He could still see the blood spreading over Peeta's shirt and the red that was pooling onto the floor around him. Still he could see the look of shock on his victim's face and the traumatized look of the girl who was now left to deal with whatever it was that was going to unfold.
Once more the gunman smiled in triumph and a few more steps down the hall and he'd vanished completely.
Katniss placed both her hands on Peeta's cheeks and saw that his eyes were hardly open and were fluttering as if the pain of the bullet was trying to take him out of reality and into the world of the dead. She didn't even have to look to know that the gunman – the guy that had shot down her Peeta in cold blood – was gone. His work at Madderson High was done. There was no reason for him to stick around any longer because he'd accomplished what he'd set out to do, and that had been to shoot and kill Peeta Mellark. By doing so, he'd also managed to carve and punch a hole in the life of the girl who'd grown to love and adore him so in a way, it was like without even knowing it...the gunman had taken two lives that day.
For only a split second her mind went back to the previous night. She'd been dreaming and in that dream she and Peeta had been at a carnival. She remembered a single word being whispered into her ear and it was then that she heard it again and now knew who it belonged to. The word she'd heard had been Titus and it belonged to the killer gunman who had shot her Peeta. It had given her a wonderful, soothing feeling while at the carnival and yet now...the boy she loved was on the floor with a bullet wound in his chest. It wasn't a word of protection but rather, was a word of horror, tragedyand anguish. The dream had been fooling with her and had been leading her to believe that Titus was a word that would give her all but the greatest of comfort. She now saw the truth, and that was that it was a name that would bring nothing but grief and despair into her soon to be shattered life.
Katniss knew the police and an ambulance would be there any second to rush Peeta to the hospital, but she wasn't leaving Peeta's side, not for a second. There was no way she'd let him stay on that cold, hard floor without someone by his side. Neverwould she want Peeta feeling alone or scared for even a second; she'd remain right by his side to let him know that he wasn't alone and that she was right there with him. What he needed more than anything right than was to know that Katniss would be there for him. Despite what would happen – whether he'd live or slip out of the world – as long as he could feel his hands in hers and know that she was right by his side...then he could pass away peacefully knowing that Katniss had been there with him.
Around her students were starting to gather and look down at the two in shock. Every one of their faces had gone as pale as a ghost as if what was unfolding before them felt more like a nightmare than what it was which was reality, and it was a reality that was all but unpredictable. Most were covering their mouths with their hands while whispering to one another in nothing but disbelief.
"W-who is that?" one girl asked, her voice scarcely perceptible.
"I...I think it's Peeta," announced one guy unsteadily.
"H-he got shot?" the girl gasped incredulously, the words barely sliding off her tongue.
All the guy could do was nod in a daze. The two, along with all the other students that were gathered around them, kept their eyes on Katniss as if their feet were glued to the ground and they could do nothing but stare sadly at Peeta's bleeding chest. The same could have so easily happened to them if they'd done what he had done which had been to not listen to the principal and hide themselves in one of the classrooms. But Peeta had done what he'd done for one reason and one reason only and that was to protect the girl he loved. He'd known the second Principal Snow's voice came over the P.A. system that getting Katniss to safety was the only thing he had to ensure happened, even if that meant putting his own life in danger.
They wanted to help. They wanted to hear there was something they could do to turn this chilling situation around, but there was only one group that could provide Peeta with the help he needed and that was the medical team. The most they could do was stand there, let Peeta know they were there and as was so often the case in unfortunate events, hope for the best but prepare for the worst.
"Peeta?" howled Katniss, keeping his face cupped securely in her hands.