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There was a moment before she reached that dreadful state of fully conscious when she was able to bask in the delight at having him near. That fleeting moment when she was able to forget just who he was and what he had done, who she was. It was perhaps the happiest she had ever been, the most content, a shining moment of pure unadulterated joy.
And then she awoke.
It wasn't so much that anything was different, but her return to consciousness unleashed the inevitable self-recriminations.
Last night and well into the early hours of the morning - from Klaus' wreck of a room, down the hall, and into her own where they eventually came to rest – Caroline had not exactly forgotten, but rather dispatched to the farthest reaches of her mind all the reasons she shouldn't be with Klaus. Her reservations were basically consigned to the very place created for the feelings she never wanted to admit to having.
Until last night when her guilty conscious went on vacation and she gave in to her innermost desires – multiple times – she had successfully resided in a state of denial. Now, in the harsh light of day, pitilessly comfortable in the arms of the mass murder, she no longer had that option.
Nothing changed, even though everything did.
All her life she had hidden her insecurities behind witty remarks and bright smiles, always worried that she was destined to live a life unloved. She had reason to fear, regularly neglected by her family and friends, a supporting character in the dramatization of the life and times of Elena Gilbert.
Miss Mystic Falls she may have been, but in fairy tales she was the handmaiden at best and not even first in line for that title. No, even when it came to her friendships she had been holding a firm second place - it felt as though it had always been Elena, it seemed as though it always would be.
When she had first turned, collateral damage in the Katherine/Salvatore/Klaus drama, the world seemed to be against her. Perhaps it was just her, but then again it seemed so very different when Elena turned. There was no burning in sunlight whilst Bonnie debated whether or not she should assist the monster. No threats to stake Elena at the slightest hint of weakness.
Caroline hadn't minded, hadn't really thought about it. Perhaps that was because there had come a point before Elena turned when Caroline had determined that she could not spend her eternity wallowing. Caroline Forbes had buried her poisonous envy and found within herself strength she didn't know she possessed. Elena was her friend, not her competition.
She became the person she wished to be - the very being Klaus would later call strong, ageless, fearless. She liked this Caroline, but there were still the odd occasions when that former Caroline surfaced. When her father had chosen death rather than continuing as a creature like herself or when nearly every person of her acquaintance continued to choose everyone and everything over her. However different new and improved vampire Caroline was, she remained the girl who was never anyone's first choice and it smarted.
Then there came the dress in the box from the Big Bad who somehow saw her. Call it a twisted Cinderella fetish, and she had, but the fact that the Prince of Darkness had singled her out was unbelievably satisfying. To Klaus Elena was a means to an end, but Caroline was more beautiful than a princess, strong, full of light. Little Miss desperate for attention, overachieving, shallow as a kiddy pool Caroline Forbes was the object of affection of the thousand year old Original Hybrid.
It was terrifying, but oh so empowering and beguiling.
Klaus had always seemed to think that they were inevitable, however much she raged against him, however often she hurled hateful words his way he was uncompromising in his pursuit of her. His conviction was as frightening as it was puzzling. Klaus had lived a thousand years, what did he see in her?
What didn't she see in herself?
Klaus was the very opposite of everything she had ever thought she wanted. As time progressed and she did not, she began to wonder if she had chosen the easy road, if she had inadvertently settled. Klaus was not what she envisioned she wanted, but was it possible he was exactly what she needed? She had begun to wonder long before Tyler made his choice whether Klaus might not be her unconventional knight in shining armor. Caroline had, without ever realising it, come to trust him. She relied upon him in a manner which she did not with anyone else. It wasn't merely because she knew he loved her, it was because regardless of how he treated others - even those she loved - he was for her what she most needed. His only choice - first and last.
He had never left her in any doubt as to how he felt, and the night before she had admitted to herself and him how she really felt - undoubtedly damning herself for all time. There was no denying it happened, no denying him, not even if she wanted to.
And she didn't want to.
She had fucked him knowing the consequences, knowing that with every caress, every thrust, every searing touch of his lips Klaus aimed to claim her - body and soul. There was no going back, not for as long as the sun burned in the sky, not ever. Caroline accepted that, accepted him in all his possessive glory, but she felt guilty all the same. Well, not so much in the moment, but in the breaking of a new dawn.
Caroline didn't regret it, she was rather more inclined to repeat it, which made her feel all the more guilty. What they had indulged in the night before and into the early hours was not what she had imagined making love to be, it was violent; it was uninhibitedly wanton - debauched.
Had she viewed their joining as a third party she might have drawn parallels to rutting animals, but as a participant she viewed it differently. Klaus loved her to the point of obsession she knew, and he had worshiped her body accordingly - it was lascivious but it was also spiritual. There was something between them, something that made the act however primal rather more transcendent in nature. There were no words to adequately explain how she felt.
It was quite easily the most intense and all-consuming sex she had ever indulged in. Whatever else Klaus was he was undeniably the best lover she had ever had, and the contented smile dominating his face as he slept beneath her was heartrendingly endearing.
And even as her stomach began to churn as she recalled just why she shouldn't feel quite so cosy sharing her bed with Klaus, she couldn't find it within her to move. She was a horrible person, the acceptance of Klaus and all that that entailed was surely treason – punishable by death. Yet even whilst she stewed in her own guilt, she couldn't help but feel content in the knowledge that this was the first of many times to come when she would awaken in his arms.
His arms felt like home. Caroline had never felt like that before, whether it was some freaky soul mate thing she didn't know, but she found it almost impossible to find the will to leave his embrace. Her brain told her all the reasons, all the incidents, all the deaths and heartbreak which should necessitate her speedy departure, but she held fast. Despite everything she wanted him, in spite of everything she wanted to be with him. No matter what it cost her, no matter if all her friends deserted her as she expected they would.
"I thought you would have run by now," his voice interrupted her untidy thoughts.
"As though you'd let me," she uttered, smiling into his chest.
"I might have indulged you for a time," he said though the tightening of his arms indicated otherwise.
"Perhaps I find the alternative a more daunting prospect," she replied lifting her head to gaze at him through her lashes.
"The condemnation of your so-called friends?" he asked dripping smugness, though something told her he was unsettled, that the prospect of her remaining with him in order to avoid confronting her friends was deflating.
"I don't regret it, you know," she told him, her eyes fixed upon his lips, her thoughts turning to what he could do with those raspberry delights. His lips turned further upwards twisting into a genuine smile and she felt suddenly warmer as a result. She wanted nothing more than to remain in bed with him forever, but that nagging guilt turning her stomach demanded that she rise and face the consequences of her actions.
He nuzzled into her hair, one set of fingers gliding over her hip whilst the others kneaded the flesh of her arse. His touch was like electric shock therapy dissolving all those uncomfortable morning after concerns from her conscious thoughts. She felt as though her entire being was burning, a glorious molten fire spreading from his fingers directly to her core. With a will of its own her body dragged itself up his until she was comfortably straddling his hips, he rose up to meet her locking her legs behind his back and in one swift move they were once again joined.
As they moved together their gazes fixed and Caroline lost herself in his blue-green eyes. There was between them a connection which seemed to only be getting stronger and as she approached another climax Caroline found it difficult to determine where she ended and he began. It might have been disconcerting had it not been utterly intoxicating. As though by some unspoken agreement they both broke eye contact and nestled into the others neck, two set of fangs pierced skin in tandem. Like the night before she was in unparalleled ecstasy, and felt as though she was bonded to him. More than felt it, she saw the silver chains that tied them together, but in addition she saw images. Flashes of places she had never been to, people she did not know.
They were memories, but not her own.
At some point she had closed her eyes, she wasn't sure just when that was - only aware that she had when she withdrew her fangs from his neck and opened them once again. She was momentarily disoriented, transitioning from Klaus' memories of far flung places in time to the present.
Caroline wondered if this was a by-product of the soul mate palaver or was this yet another of Connie's improvements. She wanted to ask him if he had viewed her memories as she did his, but she wasn't certain it would be wise to ask. Klaus wasn't overly inclined to share.
Whilst she was debating whether or not to ask him if he had experienced it to someone banged on her door.
"Caroline Forbes put some clothes on and get your arse out here!" Bonnie's voice was raised and biting.
Caroline fought the urge to crawl under the bed and hide. The night before she had chosen Klaus well aware that there would be consequences. But knowing there were consequences and actually facing them were two different things – she wasn't feeling inclined to face them just yet.
"I swear to god Caroline, if you aren't out here in the next thirty seconds…" it appeared Bonnie was of a differing opinion. For his part, Klaus didn't appear at all bothered in fact he looked downright amused.
Bastard.
With lethargy bordering on sloth she separated herself from the Original smirking Hybrid and flashed to her walk-in wardrobe to throw on the first outfit her hands found. She chose to walk to the door at human speed attempting to put off the dreaded confrontation a little longer. From the bed behind her she swore she heard a choked chuckle and she had half a mind to take the door from its hinges and throw it at him. On the other side of the door was Bonnie Bennett, she had every right to be anxious – the woman was scary before she came into her witchy powers.
Like ripping off a Band-Aid she tore open the door in one swift movement and came face to face with her icy-faced bestie. Bonnie's eyes did a once over before her lips formed a hard line and she pushed passed Caroline into the room.
"Out," the witch ordered Klaus without a glance in his direction. To Caroline's surprise Klaus immediately rose from the bed and strode out the door butt-naked – she couldn't help but monitor his progress.
What a view.
"Wipe that self-satisfied smile off your face Missy," Bonnie said, arms crossed and eyes narrowed.
Caroline made a concerted effort to school her features into a neutral mask, chasing all thoughts of a naked Klaus away to concentrate on Bonnie. She took a deep breath and waited for the ax to fall.
"Klaus?" Bonnie managed to toss an awful lot of indignation into the utterance of his name.
"Yes," she replied, bracing herself. Caroline was only too aware that Bonnie hated Klaus, and with good reason.
"It had to be Klaus?"
Caroline wondered if Bonnie had crossed her arms to stop herself from throwing things at her. The stomach churning guilt was back, only more like an iron fist contracting. She wasn't ready to lose her best friend, not so soon after recovering her, but there was nothing she could do. She had made her choice. "Yes," her voice was weaker.
Bonnie didn't reply, she just continued to look at Caroline as though she was some strange creature had never seen her before. The silence stretched, rather like a hangman's noose which was appropriate because Caroline felt as though she was suspended.
"We've all done terrible things," she said softly, ever hopeful that unlike Tyler Bonnie might love her more.
"Some more than others," Bonnie snapped back, but then she paused. Her whole demeanor changed, she suddenly seemed weak. "None more than me," she said with a sigh.
"Did you sleep with Kol?" Caroline blurted.
Bonnie looked shocked and then burst into laughter, her entire body shaking with it. "No," she finally managed to get out out, her laughter dying a moment later. "I destroyed the Other Side Care, I killed..." and then he body was shaking for a different reason, tears flowing down her face.
Caroline took the witch into her arms and to her immense relief Bonnie hugged her back. She wanted to say it wasn't her fault, but as she had agreed to help Silas who would be arriving at the mansion within the hour she didn't want Bonnie to give too much thought to whose fault it actually was. "I'm sorry about your Grams," she said instead and felt like the worst friend ever.
"I don't like Klaus," Bonnie said a moment later. "If killing him wouldn't result in your death I'd be first in line to finish him off, he doesn't deserve you, he deserves to be miserable," Bonnie paused taking a deep breath. "That said, if he makes you happy I'll support you for however long this insanity lasts," which Bonnie clearly hoped was no of a long duration.
Caroline felt a large smile dominating her face. "I love you too," she said as she pulled Bonnie back into a crushing hug. "We'll get through this," she told her, ever the optimist.
"You, me and Klaus?" Bonnie's tone wasn't overly friendly, but there was the beginnings of a small smile on her face.
"You forgot Kol," Caroline teased.
"No I didn't," Bonnie frowned and stepped back.
"I'm sorry to interrupt Miss Forbes, but you have a visitor," Elijah advised entering her bedroom.
"Visitor?" Klaus asked following his brother into the room. Caroline noted that he was disappointingly fully clothed.
"No one important," Caroline shot Elijah a warning look. "I'll just go and..."
"Who is it Caroline?" Klaus tone had turned caustic.
"It may, or may not be..." she began moving closer to the room's exit. "Silas," she ended, saying his name so softly that she rather doubted even Klaus heard it.
"What is Silas doing here?" Klaus thundered, proving that she had grossly underestimated Hybrid hearing.
"Well, here's the thing," deep breath, "I sort of promised him I'd help him kill Qetsiyah." As no one gasped or threw her across the room she figured she may as continue. "And we need your help."
Silas wasn't convinced going to the Originals was the best idea, but Caroline had insisted and for some strange reason he couldn't deny her. Of course he rather wished he could now that he was ensconced in an ornate arm chair in one of the mansion's many day rooms with eight sets of decidedly unfriendly eyes upon him. He was sorely tempted to tear their eyes from their sockets, but there was still the possibility they would assist him in spite of their obvious hostility.
"So if we are all about done with the evil eye stareathon," Caroline attempted to ease the tension.
It may not lowered the tension, but her attempt at least turned half of those eyes away from him. Caroline appeared to find the burning accusing eyes just as appealing as he did if her shuffling feet and annoyed huff were any indication.
"Let me get this straight," Damon in all his pompous glory spoke. "You, Blondie want us," with a sweeping arm around the room, "to help him," and a pointed glare in Silas' direction, "to kill the only individual who could take him down?"
"That's about right," Caroline responded with a smile so fake Barbie would be jealous.
"Are you making a special effort to be stupid today?" Damon sneered and earned himself a warning growl from the Original Hybrid.
"My sentiments exactly," Silas directed at Klaus with a complementary smirk. He rose from his chair to take position by Caroline, who had up till then, been occupying something of a no-man's land between his chair and the others. "Qetsiyah is Drusilla scale crazy," he said and noted that all of the males were giving him blank looks. "So, I'm the only male you could force to watch Buffy?" he questioned his blonde.
"Seriously? I didn't force you, and if I recall you were the one who insisted on Buffy marathon Thursdays because you had, and I quote," air quotations "to find out if Spuffy would conquer Bangel," she babbled out in one impressive breath.
"I still maintain that Spike was her epic love," he baited her, forgetting for a moment that they had an audience.
"How many times do we have to go through this? Just because he got his own spin-off and writer's seem to be of the shared opinion that the main character just cannot be single for any length of time doesn't change the fact that Buffy and Angel are soul mates. He was and always will be her epic love, and vice versa," she fell for it hook, line, and sinker.
"Caroline," Bonnie's voice drew him back, reminded Silas of just where they were and why.
Caroline looked sheepish. "Right, so...uh, Silas is on our side and Qetsiyah is nuts," she muttered.
"And we should believe that he's on our side why? Because you said so?" Damon asked with a disbelieving look.
Silas held back his smile, Damon had hit the nail on the head. Perhaps the elder Salvatore wouldn't jump on his band wagon on Caroline's say so, but he was in a minority of one. Klaus would take her word for it because to do otherwise would indicate that he didn't trust her, and trust was important to Caroline. So Klaus would do as she asked and help him because to do anything else might just bring their burgeoning love story to an end. Rebekah, Kol and Elijah would follow their brother, 'always and forever' and all that crap. Katherine it appeared was firmly on team Elijah. Bonnie and Stefan were, whether Caroline realized it or not, firmly in her corner and neither overly fond of Qetsiyah in any case. No, they would all agree, and because they had Damon would fall into line as well.
"How do we find Qetsiyah," Stefan asked.
"We don't need to find her, she'll find us," Silas replied, somewhat amused that it was his doppelganger that was the first to declare his allegiance. "I am after all the love of her life," he said with a grimace.
"Then how come she's so intent on destroying you?" Damon asked.
"I am the love of her life, she isn't the love of mine," as though it wasn't obvious.
"What do you suggest?" Klaus' voice as deadly as his expression.
"Keep doing what you're doing, and wait for her to strike." There wasn't a lot else they could do. Qetsiyah wouldn't come out of hiding until she was good and ready, and she was powerful enough to stay hidden no matter what they did. He turned his eyes back to Caroline. "So when were you going to tell me you slept with Klaus?" he questioned, eyes alight with amusement as she looked about ready to die of embarrassment.