Hey Guys! Sorry I'm so late on this I've had a shitty stream of luck. The shooting pains in my wrist and elbows have gotten worse to the point that I have to keep them bound and lowered as much as possible and I can't pick up anything heavy or even open a bottle of soda. It hurts to type after a while so I've been working on this chapter off and on for a few days now instead of all in one sitting like I usually do.

On an upside I am going to fandom fest in Louisville Kentucky! If any of you are going make sure to find me and say hi!

Now that I'm over the introductions!
The winning chapter by ONE VOTE AGAIN See what Dirk is up to or however I wrote that... the point is Dirk won by one vote.

Rust colored blood flies around the room, splattering on the already multi colored furniture as laughter fills the air. The laughter dies off into a small giggle as another body is dropped into the growing pile of gods in the center of the room. The owner of the giggles turns, her mane of long curls flipping behind her head to drag on the floor behind her as she walks forward. Her horns are tall and curve slightly as they go up, a sheen of pink glitter sparkling off of them. A golden circlet rests on her forehead above the pink of her eyes. Her black dress is so tight it could practically be called a catsuit, showing every curve in her body light flashing off of the pink sequins decorating it. She grins flashing sparkling white fangs as she steps forward, delicately moving around the splatters of blood on the pink carpeted floor as she heads for the steps leading to her golden throne.

Dirk glares down the steps at her, lips pulled into a frown as she steps onto the first of twelve stairs. "Are you enjoying the show my prince?" The female continues to grin as she sweeps her arms to signify the bodies behind her. Dirk turns his solid eyes to the pile. Dozens of nameless faces stare with wide open eyes up at him. One with horns that go up into stars and a nice looking leather coat, her rectangular glasses dangling off of her left ear as she's draped on the top of the pile, a bloody hole ripped into her chest where her heart used to be.

Cold hands wrap around Dirk's chin and yank his face up to glare into the ring of pink eyes. "A prince should always answer his queen when she asks him a question." she purrs out, running her webbed finger affectionately up his jawline to rest on the collar strapped tight around his neck.

Dirk snorts a smirk playing on his lips as he jerks away from her touch. "A woman shouldn't go renaming her pets just because she doesn't like the one he came with. Perhaps you should just take me back to the pound and try again. I'm sure there's a dog out there for you. Perhaps a female one?" A chuckle rolls out as he continues. "Then again I don't think the biggest of female dogs could compete with a bitch like you."

The Queen's eyes start to vein out, splinters of pink taking up the white as her hand collides with his cheek. A loud crack echos through the throne room. "You want me to treat you like a pet then I will! I'll beat your will right out of you until all that's left is the loyal pet your horrid excuse for parents SHOULD have been."

"Striders choose who we're loyal to. You just didn't make the list." Another loud crack as her hand cracks against his cheekbone, a constant thrum of pain pulsing through his face as orange leaks out of the corner of his mouth.

She turns walking back down the steps and around the stack of bodies to the only door in the room. "Bad pets don't get to eat. Lets see how long you last when you're starving." She walks out of the door, leaving it open behind her as she disappears around a corner in the pink hallway.

A flash of red goes off turning Dirk's attention to his shades sitting on the arm of the throne just out of his reach. "Auto responder, get over here." Another flash of red comes from the center of each lense before a soft hum fills the air. The hum grows louder and the triangles of his shades float up into the air, they move forward dropping to almost hitting the ground when they get to the edge of the chair. They move across the floor stopping in front of Dirk's folded knees. He reaches out, his fingers feeling the warmth of the air holding them up as he wraps his fingers around them. The hum stops as he pulls the sunglasses up and onto his face. Red text flashes across his vision.

That woman puts the psycho is psychotic.

"You can say that again."

Okay. That woman puts the-

"Don't really say it again AR." Dirk chuckles leaning back against the wall, adjusting his position to stretch out his legs.

I've got a surprise for you.

Dirk raises a brow as he cracks his back with a stretch of his arms. "Oh yeah? And what might that be?"

Why don't you see for yourself.

Dirk blinks slowly, reaching up he pushes a button on the side of his shades to turn the text off and looks up. He turns his head slowly to look around the room. Large windows sit open blowing the sheer pink curtains into a flutter. His eyes move further to the entrance, his jaw dropping as they settle on the mop of untamed black hair and sparkling green eyes.

"Dirk!" Jake runs forward scrambling up the steps to kneel in front of him, setting his guns down on the floor as calloused hands move in front of him, stopping inches away from his face. "Are... are you okay?"

Red flashes in front of Dirk's vision snapping him out of his shock.

It's a good surprise right?

Dirk reaches up snatching the sunglasses off of his face, flinging them aside as he lunges forward, arms spread to wrap around Jake's neck. A sharp pain pulls through his body as he falls back coughing as his fingers wrap around the collar on his neck. "Fuck... I forgot about this damn thing."

"Dirk?" Jake moves forward his fingers brushing against Dirk's as he touches the collar. "She's got you chained to the wall like a bad dog."

"No dog deserves to be chained and electrocuted every time he moves to the end of his chain." Dirk sighs his fingers wrapping around Jake's. "What are you doing here?"

Jake blinks. "Didn't you know we were coming?"

"Obviously not or I'd have told you to stay home. You shouldn't be here Jake it's too dangerous."

"Not that this isn't the sweetest show in the world but we don't know when the Queen of Mean is going to be back and I'd like to be as far away from here as possible when that happens." Dirk blinks in confusion, moving to look around Jake at the two girls standing in the doorway. The blonde smiles moving shades he remembers making himself up to perch in her hair as she rests a giant gun on her shoulder. The brunette waves shily around the other, blue eyes shifting to the bloody mess in the middle of the room.

Dirk scoots back a bit, pushing his feet under him to stand and brushes at his pants. "I remember those shades. Auto Responder wouldn't shut up about me making them. You must be Roxy. While I'd love to be as far away from here as possible Miss Lalonde. I'm kind of stuck without a key."

The brunette girl moves forward, going as far around the bodies as she can before running up the steps to stop beside him. "Lean down please." Her voice is small but confident. Dirk leans down slowly. A few scraping sounds later and the collar drops with a thunk onto the floor. The girl grins holding up a silver key. "Some green guy came up to me in the meeting. Called me fat then handed me this. Said it unlocks everything. Then he stormed off like I offended him dragging another green person along with him."

"Now that everyone is free lets say you pick up my boyfriend from the floor there and we can blow this popcicle stand."

That's All I got Kids! Today's dead troll was brought to you by 4SnowAngels from !

The next chapter?
See how Sollux is fairing

Bleed some more with Bro