Thanks so much for all of your recent reviews. They're awesome. Keep them coming. I use them for inspiration when I'm not feeling it. Chapter 37 is up.
Enjoy!
Chapter 37: I Won't Give Up
Stood at the door of Callie's hotel room, Arizona's heart was breaking. She had never intended for it to play out like this, but for some reason, she found herself making her way to her exes hotel, instead of home. So now, here she was, face to face with the woman who three months ago, broke her heart. "Could I, um, c-could I come in?"
"Why are you here, Arizona?" Callie furrowed her brow. She was happy that her ex was standing before her, but she couldn't take anymore fighting.
"I want to hear what you have to say." pale shoulders shrugged.
"Y-You do? But you hate me, so why do you care?"
"I don't hate you, Callie. I just hate the situation you put us in." Arizona was still stood in the hallway. "So, can I come in?"
"I don't want to fight with you anymore, Arizona. I have nothing left inside." Callie rubbed her head. "If we can be civil, we will talk."
"I don't want to fight either."
Stepping aside so her ex could enter, Callie closed her eyes as the blondes perfume attacked her senses. She looked beautiful, and the brunette couldn't believe she was in the same room as her. Her hope dwindling by the days while she was stuck on tour, she had gone to Darryl at one point and begged him to end her contact. Having been unsuccessful, she continued to travel the US, locking herself away after every show. She didn't want to be around people, and she didn't need any sympathy of the guys. So now, to be standing here with Arizona after such a long time, she hoped and she prayed that they could hold a conversation that didn't involve any shouting.
"So, um, how are you?" Callie closed the door and moved further into her hotel room.
"Okay, I guess."
"Can I get you something to drink? I've just ordered room service if you've not eaten."
"Wine would be good." Arizona smiled as she took a seat in the deep plush chair near to the window. She wanted to ensure enough space between herself and Callie, not wanting either of them to let things get out of hand. Receiving her wine from the other woman, she gave her a small smile and sat back. Her palms a little clammy, Arizona felt the nerves kicking in. "I, um, I wanted to apologise."
"For what?" Callie questioned.
"For saying what I did. I didn't mean to call you a whore. I just, I was a mess and I didn't know what to do with myself. So I lashed out at her and you got caught up in it."
"It's okay. I mean, it hurt a lot when I heard what you had said, but I'm in no position to be picky right now." the brunette smiled. "I'd like to explain myself, it you would listen?"
Sipping on her wine, Arizona gave a slight nod, and sat back in her seat. "Okay."
"Thank you." Callie sighed as she took a seat on the edge of her bed. "After you left, t-that night, she um, she came to my room. She couldn't believe that I had been honest with you and told you what I thought I'd done."
"So she's not a very honest person, I kind of already knew that." Arizona shrugged. "I'm relieved that you did tell me though, even if you weren't sure what had happened. The fact that you were honest from the moment you seen me makes me feel a little better. It means that you are an honest person, Cal. You could have kept it to yourself, but you didn't, so thank you."
Giving the blonde a small smile, Callie continued. "That was when she told me that she had been playing games. She said she didn't think I'd tell you about it, so it wouldn't cause us any problems."
"That doesn't explain why you were naked in bed with her, Callie." the blonde raised an eyebrow.
"I know. A few days later I questioned that too. She said that me being naked was all my own doing. I was so drunk, I came back to my hotel and stripped off. She was only there because she was helping me into my room. When she seen that I was passed out, she thought it would be funny to see my reaction the next morning when I found her next to me, in just her underwear."
"Who does that? I mean, who actually thinks that is funny?" Arizona scoffed. The other woman giving her a small smile, she agreed.
"I know, it's very strange, but she says that's what happened. I knew I hadn't slept with her Arizona. I'd known it all along, but when she seemed so adamant about it, I started to doubt myself. I shouldn't have listened to her, and I should have had her fired right away. Hindsight is great, huh?"
"What's more worrying to me, Callie, is that you even doubted yourself. If you are in two minds as to what happened, then to me, that says you don't quite trust yourself around other women when you are drunk."
"The only reason I was that drunk, Arizona, was because I'd been crying to anyone who would listen to me, about you. I hated being away from you, and I hated not even being able to speak to you when I wanted. I was struggling. I was struggling, and she played on that."
"She certainly did." the blonde nodded.
"And now, here we are. I'm not sure you will ever even forgive me, let alone give me another chance. I never should have put myself in that position, and for that, I am truly sorry."
"You do get yourself in some very awkward positions, Calliope."
Hearing her ex use her full name sent of rush of love throughout the brunettes entire body. A genuine smile appearing on her face, Callie wondered if she had spotted a hint of love in blue eyes. "I'm sorry. Do you think maybe in time, we could be friends?"
"Just friends?" blue eyes squinted. Arizona's head and heart had finally come to terms with what had happened, or didn't happen, and right now, she felt relieved. She'd always wondered what had been the truth because Callie had never actually admitted to 100% sleeping with the other woman, so now, to hear the truth once and for all, she knew she wouldn't be able to stay away from her ex for much longer. She had wasted far too much time ignoring her and acting like she didn't exist, and that hurt the blonde more than she imagined. She felt bad, and she knew that she had to give Callie a chance. After all, this had turned out to be nothing more than lies brought on by extreme jealousy. I can't let that bitch win.
"Yeah, I mean, I know you don't love me anymore, and you said it yourself, I mean nothing to you, but maybe in a few weeks or months, we could try being friends. I'd hate for us to part completely. I'd like to have you in my life, even just as a friend."
Arizona's heart broke a little more as she heard her own words repeated back to her from all those months ago. She couldn't believe she had even said it, and now, to know that it was something that was still on Callie's mind, she felt awful. "Callie, you do mean something to me. If I'd have answered your calls in the beginning, we wouldn't be in this position right now. I wasn't being stubborn, and I wasn't pouting, I just couldn't bare to think about what had happened. I now know that it turned out to be untrue, and for that, I'm sorry. You will always mean something to me."
"Just not enough to take me back." Callie sighed. "I get it. I still managed to end up with someone else in my bed, so I get it."
"I didn't say that, Calliope. Don't put words in my mouth. What I'm saying is, I'm sorry for saying the horrible things I said." Arizona stood and moved closer to the brunette. Kneeling down in front of her, she took soft tanned hands in her own. "You mean everything to me, Callie. You always have. You hurt me, so I hurt you with my words."
Closing her eyes at the closeness of the blonde, Callie broke down. Tears falling freely down bronzed cheeks, she couldn't hold back. Arizona placed her hand on the side of the brunettes face and ran her thumb along a wet cheek. "Please don't cry."
"I truly believed that I'd lost you forever, Arizona. I don't even know how or why you are in this room with me now, but you are, and I feel like the luckiest woman in the world." Callie continued to sob as she leaned into the blondes touch. "Thank you for listening to me."
"I should have listened a long time ago. I feel so stupid now." tears fell from blue eyes. Getting back up to her feet, she pulled Callie up and wrapped her arms around her. "I'm sorry."
Both women stood in the middle of the room, frightened to let go of each other. Sobbing into Callie's chest, Arizona felt an instant relief. She had held her emotions in for so long, and she had tried to tell herself that she could live without the brunette, but it was all a lie. Anyone who knew Arizona could see that it was a lie. Feeling a strong hand run up and down her back, the blonde melted into the body holding her. "It feels so good to hold you, Calliope."
Pulling back, the brunette flashed her million dollar smile and nodded. "I know, I've missed holding you too."
Lips Just centimetres apart, Callie closed her eyes. This day had gone from one of uncertainty, to one of hope. She knew they would have to get used to being around each other again, but right now, she really wanted to kiss the blonde in front of her. With no sign of the other woman pulling away, Callie pressed her lips to the soft pink of the blonde.
Her breath hitching, Arizona let out a low moan at the sensation of Callie running her tongue along her bottom lip. Everything they had ever gone through or experienced came flooding back, and in this moment, none of it mattered. Only pulling back when the need for air was too great, they pressed their foreheads together and sighed. "Callie, I-"
"Hey, it's okay." The brunette wiped away a stray tear from a pale cheek.
"It's getting late, I should go." The blonde stated as she loosened her grip on a toned waist.
"Stay."
"I can't. I have work tomorrow and I have a tonne of stuff to take with me. I have to pick Dana up on my way in so I need my car too."
"Is that who you were at the bar with?"
"Yes. She just transferred from Boston. I have a lot to tell you, but I really must get back."
'Is she, I mean are you two dating?" Callie held her breath.
"No." blonde curls shook. "She is just someone I hired. I was being a friend, she doesn't have many at the minute. Being new and all."
"You hired?" the brunette furrowed her brow.
"Yeah. Like I said, I have a lot to tell you, but can it wait for another day?" Arizona felt the loss of contact immediately, and although she didn't want to leave the brunette right now, she knew she would survive another night without her, having spent the last three months alone.
"Sure." Callie shrugged. "Thank you for coming by, Arizona."
"Can we have dinner tomorrow?"
"Dinner would be amazing." Brown eyes glistened. "Call me if you change your mind."
"I won't change my mind." Arizona smiled before pressing another kiss to red lips. "Goodnight, Calliope."
Two hours later, Callie lay in bed, unable to sleep. So much had happened in the last few hours, and now, she desperately wanted to be with Arizona. Checking the time, it was almost midnight. I want to be with her now, not tomorrow. Picking up her cell from the bedside table, she dialled a familiar number and waited for the call to connect.
"Hello?" a sleepy voice sounded out.
"I'm sorry I woke you. I, um, I just wanted to tell you that I love you, again." Callie held her breath, hoping that Arizona hadn't changed her mind about how she felt.
Clearing her throat, the blonde sighed. "Callie, I-"
"It's okay. You don't have to say it back. I know a lot has changed, and you have a lot to think about, but I just had to tell you in case you feel totally different about me tomorrow."
"Different?"
"Yeah, I mean, we all say things in the heat of the moment, and you may wake up tomorrow and realise that you coming to my hotel tonight was a mistake. That would be okay, and I would totally understand."
"I, um-"
"It's okay. I just had to tell you. Goodnight, Arizona."
Ending the call, Callie lay back against the soft mattress. She wouldn't allow herself to become too hopeful, and she wouldn't allow herself to get carried away with the situation. Arizona had avoided her for three months for a reason, so right now, she fully expected things to be up in the air. Her cell buzzing in her hand, she looked down at the brightened screen.
Do you still have your key to my place? - A x
Yes. I'll bring it by tomorrow if you still want dinner. - Callie x
How about you bring it by now? - A x
Furrowing her brow at the blondes response, Callie wondered why she needed it back tonight, at midnight. She would never use the key without Arizona's say so, but she also knew that it was no longer her property. She'd have mailed it to her ex a while ago, but with everything that was going on with her tour, it had slipped her mind.
Um, okay. I'll drive over with it now. Should I just post it through? - Callie x
No, Calliope. Open the damn door with it. - A x
Climbing out of bed, she called down to the front desk and asked that someone have her car ready for her. Pulling on some jeans and changing her top, she threw her hair up into a messy bun and slipped on her jacket. Lacing her pumps up, she felt an anxiety settle in her stomach. I had a feeling this would be too good to be true. Sighing, she left her hotel room and made her way down to the front of the building. Slipping into the driver's seat of her Audi, she pulled away and couldn't stop the tears that were forming.
Minutes later, she arrived at her ex fiancés home and shut off her engine. The porch light was on, which meant the blonde was awake, and as she slipped out of the car, key in hand, she made her way up to the front door. Key in lock, she turned it gently and pushed the door open.
"Hi." Callie spoke quietly, Arizona waiting for her in the kitchen.
"Hi, Calliope." the blonde smiled, the tiredness evident in her voice.
"So, I, um, I brought you your key back." the brunette stepped inside her old home. "I'll just leave it here."
Not wanting to be in her ex fiancés home too long, she placed the key down on a nearby table and made her way back to the door. A tonne of memories came flooding back, and the tears fell. "Let me know if you are still up for dinner tomorrow." Turning her back, she placed her hand on the doorframe.
"Calliope, why are you crying?" Arizona furrowed her brow.
"I, um, I just guess I thought we could go back to being us, but I know it isn't that simple." red lips curled into a small, but sad smile as she turned back to look at the blonde.
"I haven't asked you to come here to bring back your key." the blonde stated, before sipping on her glass of water.
"Y-You haven't?"
"No." Arizona made her way towards the hall that would lead to her bedroom. "Come on."
"Um, where are we going?" Brown eyes glistened.
"To bed. I need sleep, and so do you. That's why you called me, right?" the other woman smiled. "I know you call me when you can't sleep, Callie."
Moving further inside the living room, Callie smiled. "I just missed you. After you came to the hotel earlier, I couldn't get you out of my head. So I called you, because I missed you."
"Well then, you are here now, so there is no reason to miss me. We have a lot to work out, but right now, I really need to sleep. The office doesn't run itself."
Following the blonde down the hallway, Callie felt a sense of relief wash over her. She doesn't want her key back. Smiling, she closed the bedroom door behind her and waited in the corner of the room. Glancing around, she found all of her things still in the place she left them. "You kept my things?"
"I did." Arizona shrugged as she climbed into bed.
"Why?"
"Because I always hoped that we would work out. I may have been avoiding you, but I never stopped loving you, Calliope." the blonde smiled as she motioned for her ex to join her.
"I really believed that you had moved on, Arizona."
"And I really believed that you still loved me, so I didn't move on." the blonde closed her eyes as she felt the bed dip beside her. "I guess in the back of my mind I knew you would never hurt me. I just couldn't get past the idea of what you had told me. You were so unsure, which left me unsure, so I closed myself off to you."
"C-Can I hold you?" Callie spoke barely above a whisper.
Gaining a slight nod from the blonde beside her, she wrapped her arm around a familiar toned waist. "We can work this out, right?"
"We wouldn't be here right now if we couldn't, but this is the last time you get into our bed in your clothes." Arizona laughed. "You do realise you are still dressed, right?"
"Our bed?" Brown eyes narrowed.
"Clothes, Calliope!"
"Oh, right." Callie laughed as she slipped out of the bed. "Did, um, did you leave my clothes in my drawer?"
"I did."
Opening her old drawer, she pulled out an oversized shirt, and some boy shorts. Slipping them on, she picked up her jacket and pulled out her cell phone. "I just need to make a really quick call. Do you want me to leave the room?"
"Not unless you feel you have to." Arizona shrugged.
Pulling up her contact list, she hit the call button for a familiar number.
"Hey, Darryl. I need you to hold the ticket sales for my next tour."
"You're joking, right? Callie, this tour will be good for you. You can't wallow for the rest of your life."
"No, I'm not joking. I have some things I need to fix in Seattle. When I'm ready to go ahead with it, I'll call you."
"Wow, I've not had this before. You are huge, Cal, and your fans want you."
"Well if they want me so much, they will wait for me. Goodnight, Darryl. I'll call you when I'm ready."
Placing her cell down, Callie climbed back into bed and fixed her gaze on the woman staring back at her. "What's wrong?" it was clear that Arizona had been crying.
"You cancelled your tour, for me?" blue eyes brightened a little.
"I didn't cancel, I just postponed." the brunette shrugged. "It's no big deal."
"It is a big deal, Calliope. From what I've heard, you are massive right now."
"So?"
"So you are in demand. What if this ruins your career?"
"Then it ruins my career. You are my number one priority, Arizona. You always have been. The night you walked away, I tried to cancel my tour. I wanted to come home to you. I didn't think I could do it without you."
"But you did."
"Only because I had to. They wouldn't let me cancel. I was bound by a contract. I was so pissed about it. I'd go on stage, and then go back to my hotel. I didn't want to be around anyone, and I didn't want to have to talk to anyone. So i'd lock myself in my hotel room until it was time to perform again."
"I'm sorry I made you feel that way. You should have been able to enjoy your experience."
"There was nothing to enjoy. I had just lost the most important person in my life, so I wasn't interested." Callie smiled. "I have to do this, Arizona. I refuse to be one of those couples that can't stay together because of the demands of the fans. I won't do it."
"Did she tell you that?"
"Who?" the brunette furrowed her brow.
"Claire. It's what she told me the night before we left for Seattle."
"No, I just know that's how it goes. Seems she was planning her games all along though."
"Yeah, it does." Sighing, Arizona rolled over and shifted her body back into the brunette. "We should get some sleep."
Holding Arizona tight, Callie couldn't believe how her day was ending. Never in a million years did she think she would be sharing a bed with the blonde, at least not anytime soon, but she was, and tomorrow, she would begin to work on their relationship. It was the only thing she was living for right now.
Hearing her alarm clock blare out around the room, Arizona groaned and hit the snooze button. Opening one eye, she immediately realised she was alone. Furrowing her brow, she wondered why the brunette had left their bed before 7am.
Removing herself from the confines of her warm bed, she wrapped herself up in her robe, and made her way down the hall, stopping when she heard the sound she had longed for falling from Callie's mouth. Taking a few more steps out towards the kitchen, she caught sight of dark curls. Listening intently, blue eyes filled with tears.
When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
Well, there's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?
Well, I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find
'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up
Pulling herself up on a stool at the kitchen counter, the blonde leant her chin on the palm of her hand. She had missed this. She had missed her. Shaking her head as the tears fell, she couldn't believe how long she had left things. If only she had answered the brunettes calls three months ago. If only she hadn't slammed the phone down on her the night they broke up. If only Claire had backed off a long time ago. If only she had handed her ass to her. If only…..
I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not, and who I am
I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up, I'm still looking up.
Well, I won't give up on us
God knows I'm tough enough
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
Sitting quietly, Arizona decided she would give the brunette a moment before she made herself known. Staring at the beautiful form in front of her, she wondered how she had gotten so lucky the night they met. Not only did she have an amazing woman in her life, but she now had an actual superstar too. Watching as tanned shoulders began to shake, Arizona frowned. Removing herself from the stool, she quietly made her way over to her ex fiancé and pulled her up from the couch. "Hey, what's wrong?"
"I mean it, Arizona. I won't give up on us. You mean too much to me." Callie sobbed.
"Hey, come on now, don't cry. We are going to be okay, Callie." the blonde gave her a dimpled smile. "It's going to be okay."
"We've had so much shit so far, and I don't know how much more of it I can take." the brunette looked up into baby blues.
"So we will take the shit as it comes, together." Arizona laughed. "Just to be clear though, Claire is gone, right? I mean, I may actually rip her head off if I see her, so you better warn me now if she's still around."
"Oh yeah. She went a while ago. Darryl hit the roof when he found out what she had done. I couldn't lie about her anymore. Once I knew what she had done, I called him. Let's just say he wasn't very happy."
"Okay then." the blonde pressed a kiss to Callie's lips. "I'm really sorry, but I have to shower and head off to work."
"It's okay, I will head back to the hotel. Just call me later if you are still in the mood for dinner." the brunette smiled as she released her grip on the other woman.
"Um, like hell you will. You will stay here, and you will prepare dinner for tonight. You know I'm a crappy cook, so that, beautiful, is your job for the evening." Arizona nudged Callie's shoulder playfully before crossing the room towards the hall. "Oh, and you will cancel that freaking hotel room because you will never go back there again. I'm sick of the sight of that room, however gorgeous it is."
Watching Arizona leave the room, Callie's smile reached her ears. Well I didn't expect any of this when I was writing my last letter to her. Making her way into the kitchen, she put on some fresh coffee and prepared a little breakfast for the blonde. Today she had a few things to do, and the first on her list was quickly becoming her favourite.
Time to go shopping, and I don't mean for freaking groceries"…
Thanks for reading, guys. I look forward to all of your reviews.
Song was 'I Won't Give Up' by Jason Mraz.