There's a bone deep exhaustion weighing heavily in Ana's body, a deep satisfaction that keeps her immobile. She has no idea how long she has been sleeping, and she's just now beginning to wake up, slowly coming back to consciousnesses. She keeps her eyes close though, not even sure she has the strength to open them, let alone move an inch. She must has shifted throughout the night, because she realizes her head is resting on something solid and soft at the same time. Something warm and comforting, a quiet thumping playing music against her ear, a steady rise and fall of movement. She feels a light, barely there touch along her shoulder, down to her arm, sending slight shivers down her body.
Ana snuggles a little closer, exhaling slowly through her nose. She doesn't want to move from this spot, wants to stay forever pressed and cuddled against Bucky. Wants to wake up to the sound of his heartbeat, to the delicate little touches of his fingers, to the movement of his breathing, to the strong, protective and safe hold of his arms around her. Ana just wants to lay in this spot forever, burning in the heat of his body, in the smell of his skin.
She feels Bucky moves his left arm away from her hand on his abs, and Ana frowns a little. She hopes he still isn't thinking he should be careful with it around her, so Ana inches her hand over until she can feel the cool metal against her fingertips. Her fingers close around his forearm and she weakly tugs his arm toward her once more. She can feel him chuckle softly, his chest vibrating with it. Then, Ana feels the weight of the covers resting over her body.
"You awake, beautiful?" Bucky asks softly.
His voice is a deep, gravely drawl that makes Ana's stomach flutter. If she had the strength to move, she would kiss every last word out of his mouth. She doesn't though, she can barely even respond, mainly because she's still half asleep. All she does is hum softly, then turns her head, pressing her mouth against his skin. She can feel him laugh again, tightening his arms around her.
"Thought you were cold." He murmurs, pressing his lips to the top of her head.
She hums what she thinks is a "no", then shifts again, hooking her knee over his thigh and pressing closer to him. She releases a content sigh, reveling in the warmth Bucky's body is providing. Her mind is playing back images of him pressing into her, of kissing her so thoroughly, touching her like she's the most delicate thing on this planet. Ana tightens her hold around his arm, adjust her head a little higher, and nearly falls back to sleep.
Then Bucky speaks.
"What do you see in me?"
He says it so softly, so quiet, that Ana nearly thinks it's just a voice in her dream. It's not, and the weight of the question begins to pull her from her sleep muddled brain. The sad, almost heartbreaking tone makes her open her eyes. The nervousness of the question makes her heart clench in her chest. Ana has told Bucky before what she thinks of him, how she can be so open around him, but now. Now, this is a little different. It's one thing to ask it as friends. It's a completely, utterly, nerve-wracking different thing to ask now that they know each other so imitatively.
Slowly, Ana pushes herself up enough to look him in the eyes. He isn't looking at her, instead his eyes are fixed to the scars around the metal. Ana dips her head down, carefully kissing each jagged line, then traces her lips along the start of the base that makes up is entire arm. When she finishes, she props herself up, Bucky now staring right at her.
"Everything you don't." Ana tells him quietly, brushing her thumb along his jawline. "Everything you think is wrong. You see yourself as broken. I see a fighter, a survivor, someone who wants to be fixed. Who wants to do right. Who has never given up."
She moves her hand up higher, pressing her thumb against the side of his eye. The corners crinkle there when Bucky smiles or laughs, and lately Ana has noticed, when he looks at her fondly. It's a physical trait she has come to really admire. They're absent now, replace by a somber look.
"I see someone terrified of themselves," She continues, swiping her thumb along his temple, "but keeps moving forward. Keeps fighting. You keep fighting every day to live normal. To feel normal, to feel accepted, and you are, Bucky."
Ana leans forward and presses a short but sweet kiss to the corner of his mouth. When she pulls back, she smiles at him, and his eyes seem to become a little brighter. Ana takes her hand from his beautiful face, placing her palm over his metal shoulder.
"I see how gentle you are." She says, lowering her voice. "How kind, caring, sweet, tentative and cautious with the people around you, your friends. How protective you are of the people you care for. You always make sure others are happy above yourself. I know. I see it because I do the same. If you're that cautious around your friends, when you are around me, you amp that up by thousands."
She smiles down at him. "You're so protective over me."
Bucky shakes his head, bringing his left hand up to cover hers on his shoulder. "I need you to be safe. What if something does happen like it almost did? What if I really do hurt you?"
"You could never, ever hurt me." Ana promises.
"What if?" His voice shakes a little. "If that happens, if I hurt you...I just. I need you to be safe from me."
"Bucky. We are currently cuddling...naked. We've just had sex, several times. I have fallen asleep next to you, open and vulnerable. Did you not think that I feel safe with you? I do. The safest I have felt is with you. Don't think I'm just going to run away because you put your hand to my neck."
Ana shifts to lean up more and holds her wrist in front of his face. "If I didn't run from my own brother after he tried killing me, what makes you think I'm going to run from you?"
"Because he was your brother." Bucky states sadly, his eyebrows twitching down for a moment.
Ana tries not to roll her eyes. She drops her arm. "A few years ago, Tony created a new suit. It went haywire, shot off a blast that nearly killed me because I was standing right there. If I hadn't ducked...if I hadn't moved...but I didn't run from him suddenly scared that his suits would attack me. I was terrified for Tony because Pepper nearly chopped his head off."
The story makes Bucky chuckle a little. Probably imagining Pepper doing just that. It's a funny image. Ana continues.
"Wanda almost crushed me during training once. She got distracted, couldn't hold a giant tree branch up. I didn't run. My point is. I would never run from you Bucky. Ever."
"I don't deserve you." He murmurs, moving his right hand from where it was gently tracing over her scars on her hip. He pushes back strands of her hair that has fallen over her shoulder behind her ear. His thumb brushing against her cheekbone.
Ana's eyes flutter briefly. "That's not what I think. I think you deserve everything bright and beautiful and happy. If that ends up being someone or something else, that's fine. Because I think you deserve it all."
Bucky's hand shifts to the nape of her neck. He pulls her head down until their lips meet. He kisses her slowly, just lips moving against lips, slick and warm and Ana's entire body tingles. After a few long moments, she moves her mouth to his chin, trailing her lips over the soft hair lining his face. Kisses along his strong jaw, up to his temple, then down again. She feels his bare chest stutter against hers.
Ana halts her kisses, pulling back to look at him again, His eyes are soft, the color of his irises a deep blue, like the ocean after a storm. Not for the first time, Ana feels like she could just drown in them. She presses a chaste kiss to his lips, then frowns. Something has been nagging at the back of her mind for a while now.
"Bucky." She starts nervously. He tilts his head in confusion at her voice. "I haven't asked this because I think I've been afraid, but do you think these sessions have been working? Do you think the Deprogramming is helping?"
He inhales and exhales deeply, a thoughtful expression on his face. "Yes. I feel a difference now. Whatever you do with your energy, those empathetic abilities, has changed things, Ana. When Stage Four happened, and even Five, something was different."
Bucky presses his thumb between her eyebrows. Probably trying to smooth out the little wrinkle there because Ana is frowning. She hates that those two Stages didn't go as planned.
"I've written it down," He tells her. "That feeling of being triggered. It took a while to figure it out, but whenever I was, I was too weak to fight back. It felt like this darkness was pressing in on me, crushing me from every angle, snuffing out any source of light, any last bit of myself. I watched it, felt it close in on me. It was like I was tied up in my own mind and I didn't fight it anymore."
"Then suddenly, Steve was forced back into my life and that's when it started. When I began to fight against it. It was confusing at first, extremely. I didn't understand what was happening, what was going on, why I suddenly had all these images in my head. I had time to figure it all out after I went into hiding."
Bucky gently cups the side of her jaw. "For a while there, when I met people's eyes on the streets, there was no fear. They didn't know. They were strangers and had no idea. It was nice, temporary, but nice."
He pauses, a grave look washing over his expressions. Ana turns her head to kiss his palm. It makes him smile, and the expression is gone.
"Then I came here. It started again. I saw you. I liked that you were the first person, besides Steve, to not be afraid of me. I notice everyone, everything. I've seen the fear, the apprehension in people's eyes, but you, Ana. You have never looked at me like that. Even after Stage 4, when they forced your hand. You just came after me. Why aren't you afraid of me?"
"Because you are a good person with a good heart. " Ana leans down until she's kissing the center of his chest. "Because I see you, in the light, in the dark. I see you."
Bucky ends up shaking his head like he can't believe any part of this is real. He kisses her forehead, wrapping his arms around her back, keeping her to his chest. Ana adjusts her head, resting over his heart, which is beating faster than normal. She just wants him to understand.
"Why do you like me so much?" Bucky questions, voice so soft she almost misses it. "I'm just curious, because I still don't understand how you do."
Ana shifts once more, until her head is now on her right shoulder. She looks up as he looks down at her. "You've been nothing but sweet and kind, Bucky. You're caring. You just let me ramble the first day we met. You didn't look at me like I was this stupid, bumbling person, like I was the weirdest thing ever."
"I like your weirdness," Bucky tells her, smiling. "If that's what you call it. You're just charismatic."
She returns the smile. "You listen to me. You never once judged me because of my scars, of how I got them. Of why I started working here. You seem to respect me. You listen to my theories, either on mental health or movies. You protect me. You let me share my food with you and you let me sneak the food I don't like in your plate and you pretend you don't notice when I know you do."
He winks at her and Ana chuckles, reaching up to gently tug his hair.
"You make me coffee throughout the day but make me drink tea if I can't sleep or had a bad night." She continues. "You stay with me when I ask and sometimes when I don't, and I love that because sometimes I'm too scared to ask you. But you never make me feel pathetic or like a child. You just make me feel safe. Like I can fall asleep and not worry about anything. You trust me. You call me out on my anger, you call me out on anything I need to be. Then you hold me, with both arms, like this. As if I was the most delicate piece of art."
Bucky responds by kissing her, his mouth pressing firmly against hers. His kisses make her heart go into overdrive, and Ana is shocked that the power in the building hasn't gone out again due to her. Bucky leans up and turns them until they're both laying on their sides, their ankles hooked together.
"I have," He speaks against her lips. He kisses twice more, then pulls back to look at her. "Liked you for so long already."
Ana inhales a quiet gasp.
"You looked at me as if I was just another person, Ana. Not like I was broken, or too far gone. You treated me normally. Cared about my feelings, my comfort. You have never pressed me. Never second guessed. You believe in me, and you have this unfathomable faith in me that I still have no idea where the hell it comes from." He chuckles in disbelief.
"You listen to my thoughts, my fears and you never judged me either. You don't make me feel weak when I have my nightmares. You have never looked at me like I'm a monster. Even though on most days, that's all I see."
"You aren't, Bucky. I have never thought that about you. I see theses hands that touch me, hold me like I'm made of glass. How can you kiss me so gently, with soft lips and still think you're a monster?"
There's a ghost of a smile on his mouth. "I think I'm...Ana. You are the most incredible person."
Ana shakes her head, hiding her face in his shoulder. "I have my faults too, ya know."
"I like every single part of you." He says softly. Then follows that by blatantly grabbing her ass.
Ana laughs loudly. "Bucky!" She grabs his left arm, lacing their fingers together. "That is not gentleman like, sir."
Bucky moves until Ana's back is against the mattress and he's hovering over her.
"Forgive me, darling." He presses a firm kiss to her lips, then pulls back. "Couldn't help myself." He winks again.
"You're fucking ridiculous." Ana quips, smiling up at him. She frees her hand, then wraps both her arms around his neck. "My little Snow Flurry."
She gets the reaction she was expecting. A low growl emits from Bucky's throat, and he kisses her fiercely. Ana is laughing through the kiss so much, it takes a several moments before it's counted as a proper one. What starts off as a playful mood, slowly turns into a more passionate one. Their lips dancing against each other slowly, hot tongues detailing each other's mouths.
They stay like that for a while. Content to just have a lazy, morning make out session. Fingers slip into hair, skin burning against skin. Heartbeats play off each other's chest, legs tangled together under the covers. Breaths mingle heavily until they can't tell whose air is whose. The atmosphere in the room is heated, wrapping around their bodies like a soothing blanket.
Their little bubble is broken when Bucky's phone goes off. The sound cuts through the air and startles the both. Bucky groans against her mouth before rolling off her. Ana pants, trying to regain her breath and ignores the dull ache between her legs. Mainly because Bucky started to grind against her when the phone went off.
He clears his throat. "Uhm, apparently people are looking for you."
Ana props herself up on her elbows. "Why?"
"Well," Bucky turns back to face her, a sheepish smile spreading across his lips. "For one thing, it's almost noon."
Ana's mouth drops. She had no idea.
"Second, apparently there's an impromptu meeting that is about you?"
"What?" She sits up, taking the phone when Bucky hands it over. He's right. Natasha's message stating the meeting is about Ana's recent, and surprising surge in her Energy Alchemy. "You'd think they would've informed me yesterday."
Right then, another message comes through and Ana clears her throat. She feels a blush creep over her cheeks. She shows the screen to Bucky, who has the same reaction. Although his blush is a few shades deeper.
"So," Bucky speaks up, pushing his hair back. "Do we tell everyone else?"
Ana chuckles, then leans over to kiss his cheek. "Nat is the only one who knows. We don't have to say anything, and we don't have to not say anything either. It's up to you."
"Can we just keep it limited to her for now? And Steve. He'd liked to know."
"Yeah. That's fine." She smiles at him. Bucky turns to kiss her lips again. "I need to tell Pepper though, and Tony. They'd both kick my ass if they found out from someone else."
She doesn't miss the nervousness that flickers in his blue eyes. "Of course."
"It'll be fine, I promise." She kisses him once more, then moves off his bed. Ana offers a hand to him. "Shower? I have no clothes here and I don't fancy running down the hall naked."
Bucky quickly moves off the bed, opening a drawer from his dresser and pulls out two pieces of clothing. He gives the clothes to Ana, her fumbling to hold them as he marches her towards the bathroom. He turns on the shower and ends up pushing Ana against the cold wall, attacking her lips.
"Mine." He growls, speaking against her lips. "No one sees you but me, Annie."
"Fuck." She groans, nearly melting against him. She doesn't know if it's Bucky protectiveness or possessiveness. Either way she finds incredible hot.
The meeting is delayed forty-five minutes. Mainly because Ana had to cover the few love bites scattered along her neck and collarbones with makeup. Nat's text message burned into the back of her eyes.
New Message from Natasha.
You don't need sound proof walls for me to know exactly where Ana has been all night ;)
Clint owes me $50 bucks. Thank you both!