A/N – These are getting a little harder to write lol. By the way if you want to see the list it's on Deviant Art and YouTube ^_^
YouTube version is by Bowiefan – many thanks for that ^_^
Annoying Jareth
45 – Bar
It was a wonderfully gloomy day in the Labyrinth and the King was happy. Why was the King happy? It was quite simple. The Creature was unhappy. He really didn't need any other reason. Of course, he also completely on guard. Rainy days usually meant boredom which usually meant destruction. So when the Creature disappeared outside Jareth decided to bolt the doors, bar the windows and kick a goblin. Perhaps the Creature would drown somewhere and Jareth would be rid of it once and for all. He knew it probably wouldn't happen, but he could hope. When a week went by Jareth's hope grew, but he didn't dare go out and look for a body. 'Knowing my luck I'd fucking find it alive and well', he thought shuddering.
However, when his goblins started to disappear he became slightly worried. It was only one or two at the start, but now his throne room was empty and the city was quiet. What the hell was a Goblin King supposed to do without any Goblins? Resigning himself to the fact that he was going to have to go out and look for them – and in extension IT as well – he pulled on a large coat and braved the stormy weather of his ever changing Labyrinth.
He finally came across two goblins staggering out of the woods. At first he thought they might have been attacked, but when they started singing a song about a little goblin and called him Merlin the happy little pig he decided it was something much worse. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen his goblins so drunk. He decided to give them a chance to sober up and grovel before he executed them. 'How dare they call me Merlin?' Was he starting to look that old? He spent the next half an hour debating whether to go into the forest or go back home to see if he'd sprouted a white beard.
After summoning a mirror and deciding he still looked as gorgeous as ever, Jareth finally made his ways into the forest. By this point it was night – giving the Goblin King a mirror is a wonderful distraction – and he found that most the goblins were travelling the same way as he was. Of course they were trying to be inconspicuous, but they are goblins. A few were staggering towards him before veering off and falling into a nearby bush. When he started to find more comatose bodies lying around he knew he was getting close.
He found a jagged hole in one of his hedges and snarled remembering the creature's "short cut". He pushed some of the more unruly branches out of the way and stepped through. He quickly brushed himself off and looked up. He was sure his jaw had hit the ground as he gawked at the building in front of him. There were goblins sprawled about, doing… goblin things. And drinking excessively. The Creature appeared at the door carrying a tray of pint glasses. He immediately walked over, squared his shoulders and cleared his throat. The Creature turned and smiled sweetly.
"What can I get you love?" It asked.
Remembering some of the insane shows the Creature watched he smiled devilishly and put on his best cockney accent before asking, "Do you have a planning permit for this building?"
The Creature stared at him in a horror, "A what?"
"Planning permit. Ya need permission to build on someone's land. Don't want to be owing 'em anything do ya?"
"But I just work here", the Creature said in a mock fearful tone, a grin already spreading across its face. Jareth just about managed not to roll his eyes, and knew he really shouldn't ask the next question.
"Who's the manager then?"
The Creature grinned and pointed at the neon sign behind the bar which read:
"Merlin's Beard"
Jareth screamed something about not being that old and stormed off, magically summoning another mirror. The Creature shrugged and went back inside; quickly making it's way to the manager's office. An elderly man sat in a comfortable arm chair with a pint glass balanced on his stomach. Sighing he got up and picked up a small bag and rolled up his sleeves, "Look's like we'll have to move again".
A/N – weird ending I know.
Merlin the happy little pig is from Blackadder the second.
The 'elderly gentleman' is from Disney's Sword in the Stone :-D