A Certain Magical Index series created by Kazuma Kamachi and Dengeki Bunko

This is a Fanfiction written by: ~Emerald Sonata~

Starring: Last Order, Fremea Seivelun, and Fraulein Kreutune

A Certain Mystical Last Order

# 37 #
Double the Trouble:
-ALL_HAEL_BREAK_DOWN-

"Hmph. Basically, Last Order is rude. She isn't answering my text."

"Mu-mu-mu. Want Takoyaki, Taiyaki, Okonomiyaki, Sukiyaki, Dorayaki, and Udon with Bologenese Sauce. Mu-mu."

"How dare you, you little miscreant! Be faithful to the Western Dining Culture! Humph."

It was after school hours. A certain (cute) pair of girls (troublemakers) who had struggled to finish a biology assignment had been freed from their nightmarish essay and diagram… Yeah, they didn't finish it. Knowing the odds were piled against them, they made as cut-down and nitty-gritty paper they could and printed a diagram from online. They just shaded some lines with some pencils to give it the impression they drew it by hand. Still, it couldn't be helped that the diagram was made by an engineer of a master's degree in zoology… But since the assignment is 'done', meh. Let's leave it at that.

"Seriously, that little girl fails as a prim and proper lady. How will she contact us in case she gets into trouble? Does she not understand how much of a magnet she is for drawing problems to come and sully her. Ugh, the shame on that child!"

"Mmm. The numerical value involving the consistency of Soba and Ramen is intriguing. I should order both sets and compare the exponential flavour to see their percentile of success in terms of the marketing value and consumer demographic."

"Are you planning to get a Business and Management degree in the Culinary Arts district? Regardless, that sounds silly so pick one or the other. Never both."

Yes, Fremea Seivulun frowned as she adjusted her pink beret on her way she held herself with pride and class. It gave her the impression that she was a member of the French Foreign Legion with the air of a noblewoman. Obviously, she wasn't either of them, she was just familiar in tactics of choosing red or white wine over chicken or fish. As for the lovable Fraulein Kreutune, she just like to eat…anything involving numbers mostly.

"Hmm… How many slices of Pizza can I eat in 1 minutes. If I divide the seconds per slice, I could theoretically consume one slice per 7.5 seconds, plus or minus 0.5."

"Fraulein. This isn't the store where if you eat within a time limit, you get the second bowl of spicy curry for free. And don't you dare drag me into such a grotesque shop. My diet would be murdered and not even that man from the TV show about the Toronto Constabulary could solve this heinous crime. Nyaaff."

"Fuuu."

Fraulein Kreutune sighed. She was hungry, as she was forced to devote her entire day from eating to working on that paired assignment. She didn't get a chance for her second lunch! It was well past the noon, but too early for the evening. She can't tell if she should go straight to third lunch or wait for a hearty dinner. Buffet, yes, if she was going for dinner it has to be buffet.

"… Fraulein. You're drooling. That's totally unlady like."

"Leave me be… Umu-umu."

Fremea Seivulun grimaced as she watched her friend nibbled at her long and wet(?) hair to sate her hungry, hugging her beetle plushy tightly like how a man would pull their belt to clench their hungry stomach. The growling was obscene, to the point where it could be mistaken as a dog growling in anger, or whimpering in pain. Someone almost called the local Pet Rights Authority on Fremea Seivelun if they didn't double take at the girl with the beetle doll whining.

"I can't keep up with up you Freulein. Nyaah."

The two were wandering in the street. If this unfortunate situation continued, it would make Fremea Seivulun look bad. To make sure no one recognized her, she rummaged through her school bag to find a medical mask and sunglasses. The same type celebrity would use when on a rendezvous with normal life. Or a fugitive in hiding and needed to buy food from the local convenience store.

"Nyaaah! Wh-where did my Roche Ferror Chocolate Hazelnut candy go!? Th-these were my emergency supply in case my blood sugar was too low."

"… Burp. Second Breakfast. 3.5 Stars."

"Guh!? Wh-why did a piece of the classic golden wrapper pop out of your mouth like a dead leaf on the wind!"

The two girls had nothing to do, now that they 'completed' their assignment. Fremea Seilvelun thought about shopping at the Dianoid in District 15. Frauleine Kreutune thought about eating at the Pasticceria Manicagni in the School Garden. Both locations were very far away from where they were, and from each other. So essentially, ahem, their ideas were different.

"… Essentially, I'm bored. The sales hours are long over and there's nothing good to eat from the results of the mid-day rush. Hmm. We need a change in strategy to stimulate our sensitive brains!"

"Mmm… Candy brains sounds good. Wonder where to buy one?"

In order to deliver themselves from this… fate of boredom, there was only one thing to do.

"Fu-fu-fu. According to my handy dandy smartphone, there's going to be a super big clearance sales at the Academy City's widely acclaimed International Airport in District 7. There's all kind of amenities ranging from utensils crafted by the deepest of Orient, wooden dolls inside a wooden doll inside a wooden doll from Russia, to even exotic charms from places such as Tibet, Mongolia, and Italy! We should investigate the authenticity of this promotion at once!"

"… Oh! The screen says: All you can eat Indian Buffet, authentic recipes from Mumbai and Bombay! The components of spices added together to create a highly calculated curry formula is triggering my salivary responses even without the physical stimuli present!"

And so, the two middle school girls recklessly boarded the next sky-train that went directly to the International Airport. Even if the girl with the beret was the catalyst of a city wide phenomenon where everyone fought each other for the title of strongest hero, even if the girl with wet hair was had lived for over 10 000 years and survived countless of executions and punishments… they had no clue as to what secret war they were about to step into in the next 30 minutes.

"Essentially, there's this lovely LuV handbag 80% off, with the President blessing of an additionally $50 discount. I would fail my pride as a lady if I do not take full advantage of this precious opportunity!"

"Oooh. Takoyaki with Tomato Sauce, Angus Steak in Teriyaki Chowder. Brand new fusion recipes from Japan and Germany. The unknown factors involving combining different dishes brings about a new equation full of flavor. I'm very interested!"