Chapter 35
He stared into her eyes in a way no one else ever had—no one else ever would—and raised his hand to her cheek. He stroked the crest of her cheek with his knuckles. She leaned into his touch, savoring, locking it into memory in case…in case…oh heavens! Pray let this not—
"I did not want to leave you. You know that, do you not?"
Her throat tightened so only the barest squeak escaped.
"I…I wanted to tell you my plans, but in truth, I had not formed them until I was halfway to Derbyshire."
"You walked to Derbyshire?"
"I did."
"Why?"
"It was far less expensive than traveling post."
She tried to giggle, but it nearly strangled her. "Why Derbyshire?"
He shrugged. "Where else could I seek relief for my sufferings?"
"Sufferings?"
"You cannot imagine I felt our separation any less than you."
She turned away. "I…I did not know."
He winced and screwed his eyes shut. "I have been a fool in so many ways. I should have declared much more clearly. But you have always understood me so well. I thought for certain you must know."
"I…I had hopes, but without words—"
"You had my song."
"I dared not believe…it seemed too much too hope for all that you spoke in it." She stroked the cool, smooth keys without playing a note.
"Then you understood, just as I knew you would."
"I dared not believe that anyone could think such things of me."
"I should have spoken it." He stood and pressed his cheek to the top of her hair. "I had promised my aunt I was reformed, that I would not interfere with her pupils in any way. That was a condition of my employ."
"A very sensible agreement."
"It was, until I met you. I argued with myself that you were too young; you were my student; you were protected by my aunt. I was not allowed to notice you. But how could I help it? I have never met a woman who speaks the language I speak, who understands what I cannot say. How could I turn away from one who seems to have been formed to be my helpmeet, the other half of my soul?" He paced the length of the room, hands raking his unruly hair.
She bit her knuckle, the breath burning in her chest.
"I was but a moth drawn to your flame, a light burning brighter and more alluring than anything I have ever known. But, I kept my promise to my aunt. At least until that night in the garden. I did not regret that, you know and I still do not. My only regret is that I could not make you an offer that moment." He crossed back to her in three impossibly long steps and dropped to his knee before her.
Lydia gulped as he took her hands and enfolded them in his.
"I have been to see your brother, and there I encountered Sir Anthony. I did not spare him my temper, and he is now well understood of the error of his ways. No one shall ever disparage you that way again, at least not while I live and breathe. I petitioned the Darcys for the privilege to love and protect you all the days of my life, securing both their blessings and approval of a settlement. Mr Darcy has promised to sign it once I have your approval."
"Settlement?"
"I do not have nearly so much to offer you as Darcy has, but I will do everything I can to see you secure and cared for, if you accept my offer of marriage. Miss Bennet, will you be my wife?"
"You do not have to do this. I have already been compromised, what you have done does not change my—"
He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her.
She closed her eyes and abandoned herself to his warmth that ignited every nerve in her being.
"You are the other half of my soul," he whispered in her ear. "Pray do not force me to go about the world an empty wraith, withering for the loss of you. I ask you not for the reparation of your reputation, but for the restoration of myself. Without you I am dry and empty. I have not played a note since I left you, not until just today."
She pressed her forehead to his. "I only picked up my pencil again this afternoon."
"When the heart finds its completion, it does not function alone ever again. Pray do not insist that I try to go on that way. End my suffering. Do not condemn me to further sleepless nights and empty days. Marry me, Lydia."
"The only thing I wanted more than to stay at Mrs. Drummond's was…is to be with you." She laced her fingers in his. "I will be proud to be your wife."
He jumped to his feet, grabbed her by the waist and twirled her around, laughing so deep the windows must have shaken.
"Come, play with me." He seated her on the piano bench and slipped in beside her.
"What shall we play?"
"Just follow me. You will know the song." He pressed his shoulder to hers and raised his hands to the keyboard.
She leaned into him and closed her eyes.
Soft, pleasing chords rose from the keyboard, gentle and warm. They beckoned her to follow, laying a clear path for her. She added a line to his music, one chord at first, but soon blooming into a full part of her own.
The lines intertwined, playing off one another. His, far more complex and full, hers still a little shy and hesitant, but complementary and supporting one another. Neither could stand alone, but together they were more than the sum of their parts.
Though his words had been tender, this—this was far and away more articulate, fluently speaking the depth of his feelings in a way words never would. His joy, his commitment, his love. Oh, his love! How he loved her!
It might have only been twenty miles, but he had walked across England for her. He had not abandoned her, but had fought for her, and strove to make an acceptable offer.
What was more, Darcy had accepted. He would permit her this.
Her heart swelled until it filled her throat, nearly cutting off her breath. Was it possible for one woman to be so supremely happy? Hot trails trickled down her cheeks and she sniffled.
He nudged her shoulder with his and she opened her eyes. Darcy, Elizabeth, Sir Anthony and Annabelle stood around the pianoforte.
"Are we to wish you joy now?" Annabelle asked.
Lydia barely nodded. Warm arms enveloped her, Lizzy on one side, Annabelle on the other.
Beside them, Sir Anthony pumped Mr. Amberson's hand and slapped his back. Darcy stood half a step away, nodded, a small curve to his lips—a veritable outpouring of joy from him!
"Are you happy, Lydia?" Lizzie whispered in her ear.
"I do not have words to tell you how much. He is the best of men, I do not deserve—"
"He has told us his entire story and I agree, he is a very good man. You both have grown and improved so much. You deserve one another. I am proud to claim you both as family." She kissed Lydia's cheek.
"I believe this good news calls for a toast." Darcy held up the port decanter and waved them to middle of the room.
Mr. Amberson took her arm, escorted her to Darcy and placed a crystal glass in her hand.
"To joy." Darcy lifted his glad.
That was possibly the briefest, most insignificant toast anyone had offered in the whole of England. A year ago, Lydia might have been offended by such meager congratulations, but somehow, tonight, they were exactly right, fitting and proper. She lifted her glass and lost herself for just a moment in her betrothed's gaze.
They drank, and she savored the sweet, rich liquid that just barely burned the back of her throat. That flavor would always speak to her of joy. "How did this all come to be?"
"There is indeed a story to be told. Come, sit and we shall lay it all out for you." Elizabeth gestured toward the couch.
Lydia sat between Mr. Amberson and Annabelle, leaning alternately against one, then the other. How could so much warmth and love surround her?
Sir Anthony pulled a chair close to Annabelle and extended his hand to her. She laid her fingers on his. He closed his eyes briefly and leaned back in his chair. A delicate blush rose on her cheeks.
Lizzy and Darcy shared the settee across from them. Lizzy looked so pleased with herself and even Darcy sported a smug glint in his eye. She lifted her eyebrow at him and he gave a little huff.
"You might well imagine my surprise when Mr. Amberson arrived on Pemberley's doorstep, requesting an audience with me." Darcy stroked his chin with his knuckles.
"I am sure I was quite the sight." Mr. Amberson laughed. "Travel weary and wearing a coat of road dust. I had not even stopped to refresh myself at the local inn. Your butler nearly refused my card altogether. Mind you, I hardly blame him."
"He takes his job rather seriously." Elizabeth chuckled. "He once tried to keep me from his master's study."
"Only once." Darcy pressed his lips hard, but his cheek dimpled.
Who could have imagined him capable of that?
"I can only imagine your man's regret following that mistake. Thankfully, I was granted an audience. Be certain though, I had alternative plans in mind had that attempt been unsuccessful."
"You would have stalked me like a hound a fox."
Mr. Amberson pressed his shoulder against Lydia's. "I had good reason."
"But he brought no letter of introduction, how did you come to believe him?" Lydia asked.
"His name was not unfamiliar. Mrs. Drummond has written regularly to keep us abreast of your progress."
By the look on Mr. Darcy's face, there must have been many letters. What had Mrs. Drummond said? Was it possible she had offered her approbation?
"You must agree, his story was not one likely to be fabricated, particularly in light of the fact he asked nothing of me, save my approval."
Lydia gulped. Wickham had demanded, and been refused, ten thousand pounds.
Elizabeth nodded slightly. "And Georgiana vouched for his skill as a teacher of music."
"She has studied under many masters and has never spoken so highly of anyone."
"He is a remarkable teacher," Annabelle said softly. "No master ever taught me so much."
"Georgiana pleaded with me to engage him to teach her."
Lydia gasped.
"I expect it was about that time I arrived." Sir Anthony ran a finger along the inside of his collar.
"You went to Pemberley as well?" Lydia gaped.
"Lady Annabelle left me with a charge that I had to fulfill. Where better to begin?" He shrugged.
"And the butler was familiar with your name, and willingly admitted you." Lizzy's eyes twinkled and her eyebrows flashed up.
"Amberson never mentioned Sir Anthony in his discussions with me. I was quite surprised to hear another layer to the affair."
"One rather unexpected I might add," Lizzy said.
"I had to call upon my dear wife's powers of observation to help me sort out the stories—"
"—and petitions of two men eager to make things right with the women they desired to please." Elizabeth gazed at Annabelle. "After smoothing over the initial awkwardness—"
Mr. Amberson and Sir Anthony exchanged glances and guffawed.
"What she means is she prevented the encounter from devolving to fisticuffs." Sir Anthony scratched behind his ear.
"I had reason to resent the gentleman's interference." Mr. Amberson shrugged.
"A reason that I hope is long past and satisfactorily recompensed."
Lizzy gave him that look, the warning one that would someday wither her children if they ever dared disobey.
"Indeed, madam, it has been, far beyond any hope of expectation of mine." Mr. Amberson sat up a little straighter.
"What have you planned?" Annabelle folded her arms over her chest and scowled.
"I think you will be pleased, Lady Annabelle." Elizabeth still wore her warning look, this time directed at Annabelle.
She shrank back a little.
"With the support of my new patrons—"
Lydia mouthed the word, eyes wide.
"—Mr. Darcy and Sir Anthony, I will be establishing a school of music in Derby, with Miss Darcy and Miss Fitzgilbert—that is Lady Annabelle—as my first pupils. They have also begun plans to sponsor a series of concerts at the Derby assembly rooms to introduce me to the community there."
"Your talent speaks for itself. Once it becomes known, we have no doubt you will not be in want of pupils." Now it was Lizzy's turn to look smug.
Sir Anthony turned to Lydia. "No doubt you will wish to have your own establishment in Derby, but for the first quarter, you may, if you choose, take residence in a property I have there."
"Be warned though, we will of course ask for your hospitality when Georgiana visits for her lessons. Perhaps you might even consent to host a few teas with the local ladies to entertain us whilst we are there," Lizzy said.
Annabelle squeezed Lydia's hand.
Sir Anthony leaned close to her. "Are these arrangements satisfactory to assure you of my repentance?"
"I am astonished at the completeness of your penance," Annabelle whispered. "I had no idea of what you might do, but this is beyond what I might have imagined."
Lizzy nodded at them. "I applaud you both on the strength of your characters. Despite the unusual nature of your circumstances, I am pleased to count you among our connections."
Mr. Amberson took Lydia's hand and laced his long fingers in hers. "Is this agreeable to you? I have no estate to offer. There are no assurances that I will draw enough students to live comfortably. I appreciate my patrons, but I do not expect continuing charity."
"You are a brilliant teacher and I am certain we can get by." Lydia's voice was tight in her throat "I spent many years watching my mother make do on a small income."
Lizzy's eyebrows shot up.
"I know you are surprised, but I did pay attention. I learned a great deal, even though you never saw it. And I am certain you can remind me of anything I do not recall."
"I take that you mean you approve?" Mr. Amberson squeezed her hand.
"Very much." How could she not?
"Then I suppose all we have left is to plan a wedding." Elizabeth winked.