Hi Everyone,
Can I firstly say thank you to everyone who has already commented (and who will comment) on my new story Secret Delight. It was one I only magicked up in a couple of days, chapter 2 isn't written and people who know me KNOW I like to plan ahead in my stories...
Speaking of which I'm only 4 chapters ahead on this one so it feels really close! (The rest I've had a good portion of the story written before publishing the parts) BUT I have the ideas of where I want it to go pretty fast!
So obviously this part is AOWW/AHOD era. Its going to be written out differently just because this is not 1890s. 128 years later relationships develop differently and different things are acceptable within those parameters. Where I have convictions of my own of what is acceptable in those perimeters for myself, I have not made these Gilbert and Anne stick within those perimeters. Let me make it clear I am happy and secure in my relationship, I love my husband and I am happy with how my early relationship worked out. And Anne and Gilbert will be so happy with their relationship.
I know mostly I say these things and everyone is fine with it but this isn't an 1890s relationship. Things are discussed which are grown up. I've kept it within implication... I think.
Their hands joined Anne and Gilbert couldn't stop grinning as they headed back to Blythe farm. They stopped frequently, Gilbert stopping them in seemly random places to kiss her with endless tales of "I've wanted to kiss you here since…"
Anne smiled and sometimes laughed. "It's a melancholic kind of love, isn't it?"
"I should say not!" He objected quickly. "Why on earth would you describe it as that?!" he exclaimed.
"To think, we have these banks of memories, of just you and I, of all the times we wanted to become closer. Its full of the potential moments of love. Moment where, had you not been as unsure, if I had been more secure we could have been a couple." He looked to her with disbelieving eye as she seemly swooned over it. "Isn't it romantic?" she asked him.
"What I described was romantic yes, but melancholic?" he questioned. He shook his head and his bottom lip protruded just in the slightest which made Anne smile. "To you, it may have been all the moments we could have, but to me it was all the moments to look forward to. It brought me hope that one day, maybe we could come back to all these spots, as a couple and make them secretly ours, for us to have our in looks and jokes about these places, for it to be our secret delight and no one elses."
"Hope?" She enquired her eyes wide. She looked down to the ground watching the stone pathway beneath them for a few seconds before she continued "Is that why you wouldn't spend any meaningful time in Avonlea?" she asked him.
He swallowed and replied to her "I lost hope." He admitted. "I lost…" he struggled to find the word before he settled on "…me." He continued "Not just me me, but the best me, the me I always wanted to be and who I was around you." He shrugged then said "Has anyone told you what happened?" he asked her "The days after my recovery?" he asked her, to which she shook her head. "I had a dream, or at least I thought it was a dream where I woke up in the hospital room and you were there and I made some terrible joke about the dwarfs and Snow White."
Anne laughed "You told the nurse not to make you Dopey." Anne remembered.
"I thought it was a dream." He admitted. "I woke and I kept looking at the chair you had been sitting in and I thought I was crazy for thinking you had been there. I then got a texted from Phil telling me to try again informing me a certain Anne Shirley wasn't engaged." He said with a smile.
"So you knew?!" Anne asked referring to their earlier conversation.
"I had an unconfirmed rumour." He admitted "and that had been enough to endanger myself in the first place." He told her. "So, my dad asked what the text was I told him and he said 'well I saw no engagement ring when she came to the hospital and he gave me your jacket.'" Gilbert grinned and continued "and that's when I started to really hope again. The doctors were amazed at how quickly I seemed to recover." He chuckled "I was practically bouncing off the walls to come home."
Anne blushed and she looked up at him. "It gave you hope again." She acknowledged, "All of this could become a reality again." She smiled and bit her bottom lip "yes Gilbert." She agreed "That is much more romantic then melancholy."
He chuckled and held her in a little tighter as they approached Blythe Farm House "I think you've been hanging around with those who have melancholic tendencies far too long."
Anne chuckled replying "Is that what we're calling him from now on?" to which she received a good and hearty laugh from Gilbert, he stopped suddenly on the veranda, she was a little behind him her hand in his she cooked to him concerned "Are you okay?" she asked him.
He took a deep breath and lead her to the veranda swing sitting her down he said to her gently "I want to discuss something with you." He said practically.
"O-K?" she questioned at the sudden change in his behaviour.
He looked at the ground and took a deep breath before he looked up and said to her "well there's two things really, there's going to be a lot of discovery about each other as we get to know each other again, I mean it has been two years and there are going to be things we're both sorry for, and its not as if those individual things don't need saying or don't need addressing, but I don't want the first few weeks of our relationship to be all about 'sorry's' and apologising for what's happened." Anne looked at him quizzically, where she agreed with what he was saying she wondered where he was going with it. "The things which will effect us, our relationship we will need to address, absolutely and we will we just need to say the things which need to be said. "Can we not make our relationship about our past mistakes? Can we not just draw a line here and say we are sorry for all the implied, intended and unintentional hurt and yes address it talk about it, but not to make it a sorry state." He sighed and looked at her "I love you." He told her simply.
She smiled and said softly "I think that rule will benefit me more Gilbert, you do need to know how sorry I am."
"I do know it." He whispered before he pecked her quickly on the lips "I've always read those eyes love, those who know you and love you most know all your expressions are there. I don't need to hear it over and over again, I'm much too practical for such behaviour. I get that we're both sorry, so why don't we just show it rather then repeating it over and over, it just makes it redundant."
Anne sighed then nodded reluctantly before she asked "and the second? You said two things." She said to him.
"Yes, well this one might be a bit more difficult to do." He admitted. "For both of us, you know what I'm like." He held her hands in his stroking the back of her hands with his thumbs "We're both very passionate people, we have our views and we stick with them." He said with a nod "and where there's nothing wrong with it and its good to have a good healthy debate about things and I'm not opposing to debates..." he trailed before he shook his head "You know what forget it." He said.
"You want us not to argue in public?" she asked him. He looked to her as if worried she might just start an argument over it there and then, but he nodded his head for a moment and she sighed "You think after being in a relationship with Roy for two years, that's kind of a relief to hear." She admitted. He looked to her shocked "I'm surprised you didn't know he had a temper on him, he shouted at me in public on several occasions, well you saw at the graduation dance, I know everyone was looking."
"It was a habit?" he asked Anne softly. "I didn't know that." He said feeling a lump in his throat forming. "What an awful thing to endure, I know you were a bit yourself in refusing to change the dress but you just stood there and took it." He said to her "and I was waiting, I was waiting for my Anne to show up, for your eyes to turn green for your jaw to set for you to give as good as you got and it never came." He said to her. "it killed me!"
"You rescued me again." He said with a smile to him her nose rubbing his. "Healthy debate every time." She said with a kiss "any arguments can wait until we are behind closed doors." She agreed. She looked at him and asked "are you concerned about, how this will work? How people will view this? How people will react?" she asked.
"No." He told her straight. "Its no one's business but ours." He said with a smile to her. "Yes?" he confirmed.
"Yes." She whispered though he knew she was concerned. "Come on then," he grinned, "lets face my mother." He said pulling her up.
Unknown to them Mrs Blythe had been watching through the kitchen window when they came in it wasn't a surprise that Anne was there but still she stood still, he jaw set, her eyes firing daggers at the pair.
She looked at Anne for a moment before she talked to Gilbert directly. "You're over an hour later then you said you would be." She stated.
"We were just enjoying the sunshine a bit ma." He told her softly. "Ma…" he tried as he noticed Anne was standing slightly behind him, almost hiding herself behind him her head low.
"You shouldn't have gone out at all with that arm…" she tried.
"I had Anne with me, it was a gentle walk…" he started.
"Your gentle walk is a five-mile round trip!" she defended as her eyes flicked to Anne again.
Gilbert physically turned to Anne and touched her elbow lightly "would you like to go and find something on Netflix to watch?" he asked her. To which she nodded non-confidently "You remember where my room is?" he continued.
"Um, yeah." She said quietly.
"My password is the same to get onto my laptop, I'll be up in a minute." He said quietly and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead before she nodded and went upstairs without a word.
Mrs Blythe sighed heavily and glared at her son "so this is how its going to be?" Mrs Blythe asked him "you just pick up where you left off two years ago with her and we all have to act like she didn't break you!..." Mrs Blythe started.
"Mom," he said gently.
"Don't you 'mom' me like that, I know your expectation."
"Mom, Anne is my girlfriend."
Her reply was a shocked face and wide look to her son. "You can't be serious!?" she exclaimed. "Do you remember she is the reason you wouldn't come home?!"
"Don't tell me what my motives were!" he said hotly.
"Don't tell me, she didn't break your heart, she didn't leave you coldly and dated another boy for two years, don't tell me you didn't stay in New York because it hurt you too much to be here!" His mother started.
"I never told you!" Gilbert said astonished. "I never told anyone actually, so tell me mom, how did you know the very private conversation Anne and I had two and a half years ago?" he asked.
"Charlie's mother!" Mrs Blythe admitted. "He heard it from a boy in his dorms, because apparently your very private conversation was had in a very public park! Is this how its going to be Gilbert? I've had to stand by and watch my otherwise brilliant son's heart break over the last two years! Then Anne Shirley sweeps back into your life and you just roll over and accept everything that's happened, all the pain all the hours, days weeks you missed coming home, just because its her!"
Gilbert took a deep breath to calm himself he closed his eyes and rubbed them for a moment before he said quietly "I won't deny Anne rejected me, I won't deny how that made me feel and yes, it is one the reason I stayed away for so long. " He said honestly. He looked at his mother before he wrapped his good arm around her. "If you only knew all of it mom," he admitted. "If only you knew, you'd understand, please believe me when I say mom, you need to start loving her again." He said quietly.
"Gil…" His mother objected.
"She deserves to be loved." Gilbert said quietly. "Please believe me." He said quietly. "please try mom." He whispered.
His mother didn't reply directly but said quietly. "Your girlfriend huh?" she asked to which he nodded. "Have you had sex yet?" she asked him, to which he shook his head. "Just as well." She said. "Will Anne be sleeping here?" she asked him.
"I don't know yet." Gilbert admitted. "We've only been together a couple of hours." He said meekly to which she nodded.
"Well that explains the tardiness."
Gilbert sighed and started to walk towards the stairs "Anne is going to be here often mom." He said quietly. "I love her."
After a quiet look between mother and son he went up the stairs and went into his bedroom, Anne was perched on the side of his bed barely sitting on it to which he chuckled "for heaven's sake Anne you used to sprawl all over my bed, now we're together your perching on it"
"Its different now." She said with a blush.
"Yes, it is." he said sitting beside her letting her cuddle into him to make her more comfortable "Now I'll bask in the glorious scent of you." He said with a laugh to which she smiled softly.
"glorious scent?" she asked him.
"It drove me crazy!" he admitted "Being able to smell you while I was trying to sleep. When all I wanted was to have..." he faded a moment, "probably too soon to be admitting that, sorry." He said with a blush.
"The night after I spent the night, that night the night I told you everything, I was having trouble sleeping, I couldn't figure out why I was so uncomfortable with Roy in the same bed as me but that was the second time I'd fallen asleep on you."
"Second time?" he asked.
"The rejection of Averil, remember? I slept on you." She said quietly. He smiled shyly his lips upturning to the lopsided grin she knew so well "Roy's bed was one of those huge huge emperor size bed, I'm convinced he actually slept in a different post code to me." She said shyly. "I never should have let him convince me it was a good idea." She said quietly. "I perched on the edge of one side of the bed, I lay awake and I..."
"You didn't sleep?" he asked her looking at her incredulously.
"Not a wink. Gil," she continued "I'm so sorry, I should have waited for..."
"I thought we said no 'sorry's'." He said with a grin.
"I know, I am though."
"You're apologising for lying on a bed with your ex boyfriend?" he asked and he laughed "Anne believe me, my jealous imagination had it much worse then lying on a bed."
"I felt as though I was cheating on you." She said honestly.
"Anne, he was your boyfriend!" he exclaimed.
"But I wanted..." she started all confidently but paused suddenly and blushed biting her bottom lip. "I wanted you."
He smiled before he kissed her lips lightly and whispered "Do you know how long I've waited to hear that?" he smiled as he kissed her again. "You didn't even sleep Anne, I can't even pretend to be angry."
"Are you angry at me?" she asked him emphatically.
"Am I angry that you tried to make your relationship work?" he asked. "no, not angry." He said. "I was concerned at the time, worried, you were trying so hard in a relationship which was all wrong."
She sighed. "Just imagine how well I'd work in a relationship which is all right?" she grinned.
"Oh, that was part of the problem, I did imagine it, frequently, you made me an envious man, because I imagined what you'd be like with me and you talked about being jealous!"
Anne looked to him and smiled softly "You never needed to be."
He smiled back "I know."
The door to Gilbert's bedroom was opened by a passing Mrs Blythe. Gilbert rolled his eyes and got off the bed and crossed the room and closing the door again.
"Your mother hates me." She said quietly her face falling.
"No." Gilbert tried to comfort "No, she just…" He thought before he said "she doesn't remember she loves you yet."
"She has every right to hate me, I'm not complaining." Anne acknowledged.
Gilbert swallowed for a moment before he sat on the bed again and put his good arm around her "she just needs time." He whispered, he quickly turned his attention to the computer screen "Oh, Sherlock!" he exclaimed happily. "You are the best girlfriend in the whole world!" He turned on an episode and they snuggled on his bed cuddling in. He looked to her for a moment before he spoke, "Are you doing anything on Wednesday?" he asked her.
"No, why?" she asked him.
"I was just wondering, I'm due to go to the hospital, see if I can get this off." He told her. "Wanna come?" he asked her.
She looked up and smiled "You want me to?" she asked him.
He grinned and said to her "I would love for the first thing I do, is to wrap both my arms around you." He smiled.
She reached up and kissed into his neck. "I'd love to." She sounded a "Um" and then asked "Do you have any pens?" she asked him.
"Pens?" he returned.
"I am going to colour your cast!" she exclaimed happily. "Make it look pretty." She told him.
"Top draw." He said with a smile. She went over to the top draw and pulled out the pens, she paused and looked at one of the contents of the draw. "Us." She whispered pulling out the old picture.
He looked towards her and said "Bring it out." He suggested. She put it in hand with the pens and handed him the picture.
She pulled one of the pen lids off and started drawing on his cast "why was it in the draw?"
He swallowed. "I had little reminders of us everywhere." He admitted. "When you said no, I just hid them, I couldn't face to burn them or rip them so I hid them, then I wasn't here, I didn't change or hide them, then this last summer I was too…" he took a deep breath before he said "… I was too scared to take them out in case…" he blushed going quiet.
"In case you lost me again?" she asked gently.
"Yeah." He admitted. He looked up into her eyes and they stayed there for a moment. The look was comforting, loving and understanding. They smiled then he broke eye contact and placed the picture on his bedside table. "There." He said with a grin, "Now it's a picture of me and my girlfriend."
Anne smiled returning her attention to the cast "Before the two-year gap in our relationship." She muttered quietly.
Gilbert looked at her sadly, "before we pressed the pause button." He said gently. "It was needed, for us to know where we were, for us to feel ready to share all of us with the other person."
Anne smiled "by us, you mean me."
"No by us, I mean we." He said. "I don't know how I would have reacted two and a half years ago if you told me everything, when my emotions were so high, so invested in being with you. I wasn't emotionally ready for such a big step and I think it was wise to mature me a little before I did find out. No I may never have said anything to you about it, and I might have outwardly been similar and inwardly I suppose really but I had ideals and I forget sometimes there is a world outside of those ideals and inside my head I might not have been in the place to support you right."
Anne looked to him and nodded in acknowledgement "fair enough, I'll give you that." She smiled. "So we just pressed pause?" she asked.
"We just pressed pause." He agreed. "Oh!" he said jumping from his bed heading for his wardrobe, "I have something which belongs to you." He told her.
"Oh?" she asked.
"Um." He acknowledged opening his cupboard and pulling out his old Leatherman's jacket. Anne smiled as he moved towards her and wrapped it around her again "I don't want this back again understood?" he said playfully kissing her.
She blushed and smiled holding it around her. She kissed him happily "Oh I love this jacket!" she exclaimed smelling into it.
"If you love it so much how come you tried so often to give it back?" he asked her.
"Because of what it symbolised." Anne admitted. "I had your name written all over me." She laughed gently.
"That's the whole point." He said with a grin to her "Marking my territory."
Anne burst into laughter "Your what?!" she managed as she laughed.
He chuckled and repeated "My Territory, You were guaranteed not to be hit on when you had my jacket on." He laughed at the mock of indignation on her face.
"Oh I just can't defend myself!" she said putting on a heavily accent "Whatever would I do without my man?!" she mocked cried.
He laughed watching her then pulled her close in "I didn't believe you could be even more sexy as a damsel in distress." He said biting his lip.
She laughed and cuddled into him she took in a deep breath and sighed "I'll have to give it back every once in a while." She told him.
"Why?" he asked.
"So it can smell like you again." She said with a smile.
"Well when you put it like that!" Gilbert grinned boyishly lying back on his bed.
"Well if I'm keeping this I need to give you something." She told him.
"No, you don't know Anne come on…"
"No no, if you get to mark your territory, I get to mark mine." She told him.
He broke into a full on smile his dimples showing "fair enough." He acknowledged.
"Oh I know!" she exclaimed reaching round her neck taking off her necklace taking one of the rings off, "You remember how we wondering if the 'AS' was for Anne Shirley?" she asked him to which he nodded. "Well, the day I was born dad was sent to town to get a bunch of stuff you know stuff you're meant to put in a baby's bag and forget to and he was walking past a jewellery shop and he saw the ring and he wanted something for me, well for him but to show he loved me as much as he loved mom." She continued, to a perplexed looking Gilbert "So he went and got my initials engraved on the ring and wrote a letter to my mom, a sort of love letter, telling her he was sorry but the wearer of the ring would love another girl, and he would wear the ring for the rest of his life, this girl had entered his world and has stolen his heart and he a spent all this money on buying a ring to symbolise that love and that the girl was me." She smiled. "it was one of the letters in that box you gave me." She smiled.
"That's really sweet." He said with a smile.
She took off the ring "Give me your hand." She offered.
He looked at her his eyes wide "Anne no, that's your ring that's your dad's ring!" he exclaimed.
"You love me, my dad loved me, this is a symbol of love, I can't think of any better place for it." She whispered. "Give me your hand." She said. His hand came in front of her she looked in his eyes and slipped her father's ring onto his middle finger. He looked down at his hand and let out a half gasp as he saw it on his finger. "He'd want it there." She whispered. "I want it there." She smiled the flirted "Mine."
Gilbert smiled and asked her "Can I call you mine?" he asked her finally putting his arm around her as she snuggled in next to him.
"Yes please, I've always want to belong to someone." She said longingly.
He looked at her surprised "How about belong with someone. When I belong to you and you belong to me."
She bit into her bottom lip and said quietly "belong with, belong to and my belonging." She smiled. "Yes I like that."
Just then there was a quick knock at his door before it opened and his father appeared there "Gilbert if you're feeling up to it..." John stopped mid sentence as he saw Anne snugged into Gilbert's side. "Oh, Hello Anne." He said with a smile.
"Hello Mr Blythe." She said with a slight flush to her cheeks.
John's lips upturned as he looked at the pair with a smile on his face. "I see." He said simply. "Everything is how it should be?" he asked Anne to which she smiled back and nodded. His upturned lips broke into a smile "I told you it wasn't too late." He told her and a perplexed look appeared on his son's face. John turned to leave.
"Dad?" Gilbert said making him stop for a moment he turned back round. "Did you need me for something?"
John smiled and said "No son, you're right where you need to be."