Quests: Pt. 3

Sorry, and also not sorry.

Had a power outage about a week ago, and reread Mark of Athena and House of Hades, so I'm currently on the Blood of Olympus right now…no idea why, just sounded good.

Anyway, this is the spoof chapter taking place in Forks, WA, meaning Twilight curb stomp for no other reason than because I can't think of anything else to do.

Disclaimer: I don't own PJO, TG, or sparkly vampires

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Camp Jupiter offered an elective called "Intensive Sphincter Control." Unofficially, it was called "Super Potty Training." The teachers made you go through exercises that strengthened the muscles that kept shut your bladder and your bowels, all while putting you on an intensive diet of fiber-rich foods with excess amounts of water, all of it spiked with laxatives and diuretics to get your body working, and then they made you hold it for as long as possible while putting you through various situations, mostly involving jump scares.

It was a practical class, in truth, as there was nothing more embarrassing than having to skip out on battle because you needed a potty break, or to get cut down because you were having to divert extra attention to keeping your pee out of your pants. The class was also a subdivision of the "Wilderness Survival Course," as out there in the wild there weren't any toilets and certainly no toilet paper, so undergoing the class removed the potential problem.

There was also the tactical advantage, as when so desperate to go when in the wild, you found a tree or a bush to yourself, separating yourself from the group, making yourself a prime target for any lurking monsters, but if you had super "holding-it" powers, it wasn't a factor.

Currently, Jason held the class record, having held it in for a grand total of eleven days straight, and he accomplished this when he was nine. He was going on thirteen now, and his sphincters had only gotten stronger. He was really grateful for that right now, because, on the bus to Forks from Seattle, where the plane they boarded had touched down, he was wedged in between one Kaneki Ken and Eto Yoshimura.

A pair of apex predators that could very easily tear him apart any time they wished, and there wasn't much he could do about it. He was confident he could escape—he could fly, after all—but then what? They had very sharp noses and could track him down like wolves, and when it came to combat?

Forget it.

Sure, a lightning blast would probably toast them like anything else, but Jason knew for a fact he wasn't fast enough to call down the bolt and direct it as needed before one or both of them had their kagune running through his face.

Jason was keeping his calm, though it was very obvious he was tense. His hand was gripping his knee so tightly his knuckles had turned white. What didn't help matters was the way Eto kept looking at him: leering, giving a mixed vibe of "I'm thinking of how good you'd taste with barbeque sauce" and "I'm going to make your asshole gape like a fish's mouth."

None of which were appealing to Jason.

He couldn't get a read on Kaneki, as the older teen had all his attention focused in a book, however, all of his previous experience with the Ghoul told him that Kaneki was a good guy that cared for his little siblings, and for Touka, and that he didn't much care for Eto, which should've made Jason feel comforted knowing that he had someone on his side that didn't like the person on his other side.

However, Jason felt like Kaneki wasn't on anyone's side right now, and was merely here to accomplish what he'd been told and then get back to New Rome, presumably to put his hands down in Touka's pants.

Speaking of pants, Eto suddenly put her hand on Jason's thigh, making the boy flinch and nearly call down a lightning strike that would've blown the whole bus straight to Pluto. He looked and saw that Eto had a predatory gleam in her eye, her grin taunting and sadistic.

Jason broke into a sweat, and that sweat got a little bit faster when Eto's hand started sliding further north, heading for his crotch. Jason swallowed, not sure what to do, too many thoughts going through his head, keeping him rooted as his brain went through a hundred scenarios with predicted outcomes, all of them involving him dying very painfully.

Eto's fingertips were a hairsbreadth away from roaming over Jason Junior when Kaneki's hand snapped out and grabbed hold of Eto's wrist. The woman giggled.

"Kraken wouldn't be very appreciative of you feeling up other boys," the albino said. "Percy and Persia would be devastated to learn you're cheating on them with their cousin."

Eto drew her hand back. "It's not cheating," she dismissed, "I'm not actually doing anything besides messing with him."

Kaneki hummed deeply, unimpressed with the greenette.

"Besides, Jason's the one with the little boner straining in his Super Sentai briefs."

"They're called Power Rangers in America."

"Same difference."

Kaneki went back to his book, and Eto decided she had enough fun with Jason for the time being, something the blond was grateful for as he did, in fact, having an erection straining in his underwear.

And they weren't Power Rangers.

They were the Roman gods in battle armor.

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Being dropped off at the bus stop in Forks, Jason immediately determined that this environment would've been perfect for his cousins. The air was heavy with moisture, like heavy enough that just standing out here was enough to get Jason's clothes wet enough to where he almost needed to go change.

That worried him, since one if his main powers was lightning, electricity, and he wasn't sure how lightning behaved in a water-filled environment such as this. His knowledge of conventional physics was lacking you see, as in its place was the knowledge of how to disembowel the enemies of Rome.

For all Jason knew, discharging a lightning bolt in the moisture-heavy Forks was going to be enough to light up the whole town and kill everyone in it.

"Alright, Sparky," Eto said. "Lead the way."

Jason was caught flat-footed, both at the name and at the instruction. "Lead—lead where?"

"You're the Roman, and we're here because Roman records said there's something up here."

"Something could literally mean anything," Jason huffed, finding courage in the face of unfair expectations being dropped onto his shoulders. "For all we know, there's a stockpile of teddy bears that shoot lasers out of their eyes."

Eto snorted at the mental image that conjured.

Kaneki was more reserved. "The library," he said. "We're next to Native American land, and whatever we're looking for is most likely supernatural in origin. The library is bound to have records on the Native legends. That's our starting point, and we'll go from there based on what we find."

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The library wasn't hard to find, since Forks was so small there was a sign pointing you to every noteworthy destination on every other street corner. The receptionist was a little shocked when three individuals, a blonde boy that should've been in school right now, an older teen with snow-white hair that also should've been in school, and a green-haired woman that should've been at work, all wearing jeans and various purple paraphernalia, came in asking for material on the resident Native myths and legends.

So, she took them to that section in the library, and also directed them to the computers and showed them how to use the database, and after she was sure they were settled, she picked up the phone and dialed the sheriff's office, because in the sleepy little town of Forks, everyone knew everyone, and the receptionist did not know those people.

In a small place like Forks, people you didn't know were outsiders, and outsiders were bad unless proven otherwise.

Jason didn't hear, as he was already deeply engrossed in his studies, for lack of a better word, and was also locked in a battle with his dyslexia. Being calm right now, it was very manageable, with only a letter or two swapping places, or a letter fluctuating to look like something close to it. It was only when he got agitated, frustrated, or excited that the dyslexia started kicking in.

Kaneki and Eto, however, with their much sharper hearing, picked up on the receptionist and shared a look. Through their mutual feelings for the triplets, they agreed that causing a scene could lead to repercussions further down the road. Besides, they were Ghouls. One of the articles of the Ghoul Countermeasures Law was that they were absolutely prohibited from leaving the country for any reason.

So, not only was being a Ghoul a federal offense punishable by death on the spot, but leaving the country was also a federal offense punishable by death on the spot.

Anyway, it wasn't like the three of them were in violation of any laws, they just looked suspicious, and any questions that would be asked were going to lead to difficult answers.

"Alright, who are you three?"

"We're Kaneki, Jason, and Eto."

"What are you doing in Forks?"

"We're on a mission from Camp Jupiter to investigate reports of supernatural happenings." Or "We're doing research for a project."

And from there it was just an endless spiral of lies that most likely would end with being put in the cruiser and taken to the jailhouse, where information on their parents would be requested, which was impossible.

Kaneki's father and mother were dead.

Eto's mother was dead and her father was in Japan, though she hated him and wanted nothing to do with him.

Jason's mother, Beryl Grace, had died two years ago in a drunken car crash—apparently she wasn't wearing her seatbelt and had gone flying through the windshield after losing control and slamming into a tree; the recovered body hadn't been pretty—and his father was Jupiter, king of the gods.

Yeah, no parents to contact, which would result in higher search parameters, which could gain the attention of certain higher individuals. Not gods, but the mortals in the shadows, monitoring for possible Ghoul activity.

Kaneki released a sigh. Something needed to be done about the Ghoul situation in Japan. Something had to give. They couldn't keep going on like this forever, or until a war broke out, or until all the Ghouls were exterminated.

Eto watched Kaneki, and she smirked. While Kraken was her chosen for the position of One-Eyed King, the albino was a certain runner-up.

"Here's something," Jason said. He started reading the article out loud, and he spoke about the Quileute legend of the spirit warriors and the Cold Man and Woman.

"Sounds like we're heading for the reservation," Eto said.

"Why didn't we just start there?" Jason asked. "I mean, it seemed pretty obvious to me that the Natives were going to be the place to start."

"True," Kaneki said. "But now we have an idea of what we're looking for when we get there."

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They bid the receptionist goodbye and when they turned the corner, out of her sight, Kaneki picked up Jason and the Ghouls went speeding for west toward the reservation. Just three seconds later, the police car pulled up, and Chief Swan exited. After a brief talk with the receptionist, and a review of the security footage and internet history, it was determined that the three suspicious young people were headed to the reservation.

Why was unknown, but Charlie just had this sinking feeling in his gut like something was wrong.

Granted, all the reports of the multiple disappearances from all over the area weren't helping with his gut.

And neither was the chicken fried steak with the coleslaw he had earlier.

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Jason decided he didn't like being slung over a Ghoul's shoulder and then taken on a fast march through the trees. Especially when that "fast march" was actually at speeds comparable to that of bullets. Jason was moving so damn fast that his hyper-processing brain was having trouble keeping with the scenery, not to mention his stomach.

When it seemed like he was going to pass out from the G-force weighing on his body and he was finally going to be spared the nausea, Kaneki puttered to a stop in the middle of the forest somewhere.

"Put me down," Jason rasped, his throat already burning with the impending bile.

Kaneki did as asked, and the demigod wasted no time in getting to his feet so he could be sick on the ground and not get his face all dirty. The Ghouls at least gave him the courtesy of letting him finish and clean his mouth out with some water from one of the packed water bottles.

When he was done with that, he asked, "Why'd we stop?"

"Company," Kaneki said. "And they're getting closer."

That's when Jason picked up the rapid thumping in the ground, like several very big animals were stampeding their way here. Jason pulled his magic coin, Ivlivs, out of his pocket and flipped it into the air. It came down on tails, the side emblazoned with the weapon's name and a two-headed ax, and transformed into a seven-foot long lance of Imperial gold.

A gift from Juno, his stepmother and patron.

The company Kaneki mentioned came charging into view, and Jason had the passing thought that they had somehow made it back to California and these were Lupa's wolves from the Wolf House, but upon closer inspection he realized that wasn't the case, as Lupa's wolves were all monochrome, and as fast as the Ghouls were, there was no way they crossed two states in just a few minutes.

Besides, these wolves were accompanied by very pale young adults with disconcerting yellowish-gold eyes, and they were all looking at Jason's lance, which meant that they could all see through the Mist, which meant these guys were probably about to try and kill him.

"That weapon," one of the humanoids said, "is that Imperial gold?"

He was definitely the adult here, the oldest looking, and he sounded the smartest as well. However, his knowledge of what metal Jason's lance was put the son of Jupiter on a very tight edge, bringing his years of combat training to the forefront of his mind.

"If it is," Kaneki answered, "what is it to you?"

"My name is Carlisle. The ones not wolves are my children. If that-"

"Are the wolves your pets, then?"

At Eto's comment, every wolf immediately bristled, their hackles raising and their lips pulling back.

Kaneki crossed his arms. "You knew that was going to happen."

"Yep."

"Why, then?"

Eto shrugged. "Wanted to see if it actually would."

"Ignore her," Kaneki said to the humanoids and the wolves. "She's a sociopath that'll start something just to watch it play out."

"Noted," Carlisle said. "Back to what I was saying, if that weapon is Imperial gold, then maybe you can help us."

"That depends on what you need help with," Jason said.

"An army…" Carlisle said. "A vampire army."

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"This sounds like fun," Eto said.

They were behind a tree away from the vampires and werewolves, so they could talk privately.

"This sounds like it's not our problem," Kaneki said dully. "Our mission was to investigate old reports of strange activity in Forks. We have. Then we were to determine what to do about it, and this is not only beyond us, but this has nothing to do with us. We're not obligated to help these people with their own problems, and that's saying nothing about the huge risk we're all taking by staying here with vampires. We don't know anything about them, and for all we know, they're just waiting to put their teeth in our necks, especially yours."

Jason was hardly paying attention to Kaneki and Eto. If he stared any harder, he might've set the ground on fire. He was lost in deep thought, wondering how Carlisle would know about Imperial gold, and how to recognize it. He was also thinking strategy:

Vampires and werewolves apparently existed, and not in the same way the archives of Camp Jupiter taught. If their trust could be gained, then they could be powerful allies in the future, particularly the coming war with the Titans.

"We need to help them," Jason said at last, interrupting the ongoing argument between Eto and Kaneki.

The woman crossed her arms and smirked in victory. "Two against one."

"No."

At the weight in his voice, they both looked at him. His blue eyes were cold and hard, not going to back down in the face of the two apex predators.

"You want to stay because your head is screwed up. You want to leave because you don't want to get involved. I'd call you a coward if I didn't know that was wasn't true. We're going to stay, and we're going to help. This presents Rome with too great a military advantage to be passed up."

The Ghouls stared at him, but Jason didn't back down. His home and his friends were on the line.

"Too great a military advantage," Eto mocked. "Look at you, talking with your big boy pants."

Jason's eyes hardened, and thunder rumbled overhead as the immediate area started to become static. Eto giggled at the look she was getting, but she took a step backward to show her deference. Jason then gave that same look to Kaneki, who frowned.

"Fine. But I'm not okay with this."

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Apparently the army was due to arrive tomorrow, and so that didn't really give a lot of time for training, but it did give enough time for the vampires and werewolves to become just a little more comfortable around the trio of new allies, especially in regards to their fighting abilities so they weren't of the mind that they were all hauling a three-part package of dead weight.

The big one, Emmett, smirked confidently in the face of Kaneki.

The half-Ghoul popped one of his knuckles by pulling it towards him with his thumb. "What's a thousand minus seven?"

"Uh, nine hundred and ninety-three?"

"Now keep going."

Kaneki popped another knuckle in the same manner, and Emmett tensed when suddenly a pair of thick, red and black tentacles suddenly burst out of Kaneki's back with a crackle, and angled themselves at his face.

"What the hell are you?"

"A Ghoul."

Kaneki shot forward, a streak of red light trailing from his eye. Emmett was caught completely off his guard and was acquainted with a redwood tree. Those tentacles cracked like whips and blasted him through that tree.

The red wood came down, and Kaneki intercepted it with his kagune. The tentacles wrapped around the splintered base, and he brought it up and over, smashing a ton of wood right down on top of the buff vampire.

One of the females let out a gasping squeak. The vampire's mate, Kaneki guessed.

He popped a third finger when Emmett burst from the splinters, seething. He sped forward, going so fast he became a blur, but Kaneki was able to track his movements. He was just coming at him in a straight line, obviously relying on speed and strength.

A brute, Kaneki decided. Perhaps calling him a dumb brute would be too mean, but Emmett was undeniably a brute.

He came at Kaneki with arms wide, and the Ghoul ducked under them. Then, Emmett stopped and spun on a pinhead, and Kaneki lost a few strands of air in his ducking maneuver, but he wrapped Emmett up tight his two kagune tentacles, wrapping him up in such a way that with just a little more pressure he would snap the vampire in half like a pretzel stick.

"Enough!" Jasper called.

Kaneki disengaged and dropped Emmett. The vampire landed on his feet. They locked eyes, the Ghoul with his lone kakugan as hidden by his mask, and Emmett, with his yellow eyes. As typical of a dude, his ego was bruised by that effective manhandling, and he was angry about it.

However, Jasper fixed Emmett with a hard look, and the muscular vampire calmed. The smaller vampire looked at Eto. "Are you as good as he is?"

"I'm better."

Jasper gestured forward with his hand, and Eto shrugged, taking the clearing battlefield. The black wolf growled, padding forward, accompanied by a few others, all of them still quite unhappy with Eto's pet comment earlier. If the One-Eyed Owl was fearful of the half dozen abnormally large canines staring her down, she didn't show it.

In fact, she just looked amused.

Jasper eyed the wolves warily. "Go."

Sam reared back and charged, his pack right behind him.

Eto's right eye glowed red and she became a monster four times the size of any of the wolves, making all the vampires flinch and brace, making the wolves come to a skidding halt in the dirt. Since RC cells were fluid, they could be shaped into whatever their user wanted, given the user had the will and imagination for it. Eto most certainly had those attributes, and was quite fond of altering her kakuja and kagune into shapes that were intentionally designed to screw with her opponent's head.

The way her kakuja looked now was like that of a humongous wolf, only emaciated, and instead of paws it was large human hands, and the underjaw of the head was split down the middle and filled with jagged teeth, the upper jaw leading to a single eye in the forehead, three slanted lines glowing like magma on either side of the eye. The head also came with an array of twisted horns. Sprouting from the shoulders and flanks was a long, floppy arm each, all of them long and thin, the hands topped with barbed nails. On the spindly wolf's back was an array of red and white crystalline spikes.

Eto's new kakuja leered over the wolves, massive strands of saliva dripping from the misshapen maw. Distorted laughter came from the beast, and Eto's own distorted voice rang out loud.

"Come on, doggies, woof woof!"

They didn't want to, because the thing Eto had become radiated death and universal wrongness, but there was that pesky sense of pride they all collectively had, and so, with Sam's telepathic instructions, they attacked, and were gently decimated.

Jason made it clear that he didn't want anyone here killed or seriously wounded, and far be it for Eto to throw the ankle biter into a fit.

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"How do you know about Imperial gold?" Jason asked.

Since he and the Ghouls had no where else to stay, Carlisle had invited them to his secluded home. He and Jason were in the living room together, Kaneki standing by and Edward also there for Carlisle's sake.

"When you live as long as I have, you learn a lot of things about the world and what's hidden in it. You're a Roman, aren't you?"

"Yes," Jason said, surprised. "How did you-"

"Tattoo on your forearm," Carlisle said with a paternal smile.

Jason's ears reddened. "O-Oh, right."

"Edward tells me that you've come all the way up here from your camp due to the threat of war with the Titans."

"Yeah."

"And that you're helping us so that we can help you."

Jason looked at Edward. "How do you know so much?"

"My hearing's the best in the family," the vampire said.

"Oh." Jason looked back at Carlisle. "So, do we have an agreement, then?"

"You've already agreed to help my family, it's only fair that mine helps yours."

Jason brightened. "That's awesome! Uh, were you going to like, come with us back to camp right after the battle or…?"

"That depends. There's some other things that we need to take care of here, and how long that takes will affect how soon we can get to your camp."

"Is there anything we can do to help?"

"You're already doing as much as you can," Carlisle assured. "And as much as we want you to do. Some things aren't for others to help with. Some things you've got to do yourself, and with only your family."

Jason nodded, understanding.

"Alright then," Carlisle said. "The newborn army will be here tomorrow, and you aren't immortal. You need to rest so you're at your best."

Jason looked at the vampire. "How long have you been saying that?"

"Several centuries."

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The son of Jupiter was having his mind boggled. It wasn't the battle playing out in front of him, consisting of a bunch of randomly dressed random people with red eyes fighting against the Cullen family, several huge wolves, and a couple of Ghouls, one of which was a giant monolithic thing having a ball stomping vampire after vampire. No, what was boggling Jason's mind was how the vampires were dying.

In everything he had read and watched, when a vampire dies, they're supposed to burst into ashes. These guys were breaking apart like blocks of ice being thrown onto concrete. It didn't make any sense to Jason.

Currently, the son of Jupiter was away from the battlefield, overlooking it from a perch of rock that had risen from the ground. He knew his limits, and he had seen just how fast these vampires were, and where he was supremely confident his reflexes could keep up with three of them, any more than that and he would be overwhelmed.

After careful analyzation, Jason determined that these vampires were faster than demigods, at least in terms of running speed. When it came to close quarters, a demigod's reflexive hand-to-hand skills would be enough, and in terms of physical strength, then it just came down to the demigod. For example, Jason was sure the sons of Mars and Vulcan would be bashing heads apart, whereas the daughters of a minor goddess would have to rely on agility.

There was also the question of whether Imperial gold would work on the vampires.

Jason heard something behind him and whipped around with all the speed of striking lightning, his gladius a streak of golden light. The vampire that thought he was smooth crumpled into burning ash, just like Blade depicted.

Jason nodded. Imperial gold did work, and it killed vampires how they were supposed to be killed.

From a distance, the son of Jupiter could see that things were starting to reach a decline. The enemy forces were dwindling, but the battle had most certainly taken its toll. The wolves were slower, the Cullen family sluggish, Kaneki was breathing heavy, and Eto wasn't quite so giggly anymore.

Jason pointed his sword to the overcast sky. Lightning flashed as the clouds started to swirl unnaturally, before a bolt came streaking for Jason, striking his outstretched weapon. With a shout, he thrust Ivlivs at the battlefield, and lightning discharged from the sword and struck home. Arcs of the deadly electricity bounced from enemy vampire to enemy vampire, and soon enough, they all exploded into flaming ash.

Jason cut his power, and then fell to a knee, gasping hard, using Ivlivs to keep himself from pitching forward. Lightning always had been more difficult for him than wind, and calling a blast like that had almost put him out. But, he managed, and he unslung his backpack and pulled out a square of ambrosia, downing the whole thing with a bite.

Instantly, he felt better.

Picking himself up, he started making his way to where the Cullens, werewolves, and Ghouls were. His arrival was met with awed looks from most people.

"Jason…what…?" the woman called Esme breathed.

"Sorry. I guess we didn't get to the full introductions. My name is Jason Grace, son of Jupiter Optimus Maximus, god of the sky, and king of Olympus."

Honestly, Jason hated introducing himself like that. It made him sound arrogant. But, that was how he had been instructed to introduce himself; that was how all demigods of Rome were instructed to introduce themselves, with the full name of their godly parent as well as their two most powerful stations.

It was supposed to be a sign of respect towards their parents, and serve as an intimidation tactic.

However, it only worked when whoever you were talking to actually knew what you were talking about.

The vampire and wolves were drawing blanks on that, except for Carlisle, who's yellow eyes had gone wide. Clearly, he knew who Jupiter Optimus Maximus was, and how much weight that name carried. He bowed at his waist, and the vampires looked at him strangely, before Edward also bowed, and that was enough to make everyone else start bowing as well, even the wolves.

Jason shifted awkwardly. "Um, rise."

With all the bowing people, Jason then saw the red-eyed girl that looked roughly his age, maybe a little bit older. And the only that stayed his hand was how it was clear how she meant no threat.

"Okay," the one called Rosalie started, "why'd we bow to the kid?"

"Jupiter Optimus Maximus," Carlisle said. "The king of the Olympian gods. He's the Roman version of Zeus. Jason here…is royalty. The prince of the gods."

Jason wanted to crawl in a hole after those lines, but he was spared when Alice seized.

"They're coming…"

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From the shadows od the trees, Jason, Kaneki, and Eto watched as the four other vampires entered the scene.

"Ooh, synchronized hood-flipping," Eto mocked. "These must be the bad vampires."

Jason could hear the conversation if he concentrated, and it was quite clear that these new vampires were widely disliked, and were envoys of a higher vampiric power…and they were cruel. Even without focusing his hearing, Bree's screams were loud.

Involuntarily, he stepped forward only to be stopped by Kaneki's iron grip.

"Let them handle this. You interfering could cause problems down the road."

Jason scowled. "He called me the prince of the gods…don't you think it's the duty of such a prince to do things?"

"Carlisle also said that some things aren't for others to help with, only you and your family."

Jason looked up just in time to see the big guy stalking towards Bree, intent to kill. He saw the terror in Bree's red eyes, the heartbreak on Esme's face, the anger on others, and he made up his mind.

"Yeah. Some things."

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Thunder boomed in the overhead skies, giving pause to all the vampires. Felix looked up just like everyone else, and he saw a blinding light. To all the others, the massive vampire vanished in a lightning strike, little bits of ash floating aimlessly in the air.

Jane didn't even get a word out of her mouth before she, too, was blasted to oblivion. Alec's eyes nearly fell out of his skull at witnessing his twin's sudden and absolute death, and that brief moment was enough for him to join Jane in Hell for their centuries of crimes.

By that point, after just a mere second had passed, as lightning was a great deal faster than sound, Demetri finally got it through his head that something was wrong, and the Cullens didn't have a thing to do with it. He spun on his foot and made for the fastest getaway in his life, only to slam into what felt like a moving wall and get knocked flat on his back.

Lightning descended upon him, and he was vaporized.

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"I'm sorry," Jason said.

"Don't be. You acted according to what you felt in your heart was best course of action. That's all we can ever ask for in ourselves."

Jason hoped that when he got to have a one on one with Jupiter, the god was like Carlisle.

"You're not going to be in too much trouble for this, are you?"

"It's nothing we can't handle," Carlisle dismissed. "Those four were the Volturi's main enforcers. With them gone, they'll hesitant to attack. In that time, we can bolster our own numbers."

Jason nodded. He didn't know exactly who the "Volturi" were, but they were clearly an organization of authority in this world of vampires.

"You did a good job, you three. On behalf of my family, I thank you." Carlisle bowed, and Jason bowed back.

"We'll be there when you need us," the vampire elder said. "I swear it on the River Styx."

Thunder rumbled overhead, sealing Carlisle's oath.

Jason nodded, exchanged goodbyes, and headed back to Camp Jupiter with Kaneki and Eto.

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"Are we really going to help those demigods with their war?" Edward asked at the family meeting later that night, Bree in attendance.

"Absolutely, Edward," Carlisle stated. "An oath on the River Styx cannot be broken."

"Unless you're a divine being."

The whole clan whipped around to see someone standing in the shadows of their home. Red eyes glowed in the darkness, but they weren't the same red eyes as a vampire. No, these were inhuman, otherworldly red eyes, like distant stars that had exploded, and were now collapsing in on themselves into black holes.

The Cullens didn't need to breathe, but suddenly their immobile lungs got ten times tighter.

The figure stepped into the light, revealing himself as a young man with sun-kissed skin, black hair that was swept back over his scalp in several loose spikes, wearing a black cloak adorned with red clouds.

"In that case, the Styx decides to punish someone else for your own crimes."

The Cullens once again whipped around to the source of a new speaker, and this one was also shrouded in shadow, though his silver and green eyes glowed brightly. He stepped into the light as well, revealing a face exactly identical to the other, only his hair was left down, windswept and messy. He wore a golden chest piece that was intricately carved and studded with jewels, like the armor typically seen worn by the pharaoh. A royal purple kilt embroidered with gold covered his extremities, and on his feet were sandals, and covering his shins were golden greaves, carved and studded. A black cape was held in place by amethyst brooches.

"And she can be very cruel in her retribution."

The Cullens once again all turned to the new voice, this time that of a woman. Venomous green stared at them from the shadows. The owner entered the light, and her body seemed to bring the shadows with her. Midnight black skin from head to toe, with the sleek, trim build of a runner, and a chest occupied by two barely noticeable mounds, indicating very little fat on her body. Her face was like that of the other two, only female. A segmented, bladed tail waved behind her, and her hair wasn't hair, so much as smooth, shoulder-length tendrils no wider than nickels. From the front it was hard to see, but there were four dorsal tubes on her back.

The vampires were all in shock, since three people, triplets by the looks of them, all extravagantly dressed, aside from the girl, who was naked, had somehow gotten in their house. Their house: a house occupied by beings with clairvoyance, telepathy, and superhuman senses of hearing and smell.

"And you three are…?" Carlisle asked cautiously.

"Oh, not for you to worry," said the one in the cloak. "Just know that Continuity has been screwed up, and we're here to fix that, starting with Bree."

Chaos erupted in the living room, but it was over just as fast as it began. In a blur it started, and in a blur it ended. Pieces of the Cullens and their knew sister/daughter were scattered all over the living room. A fate that was shared by the Volturi in Italy, and all the other vampires in the world, along with the werewolves.

"They call these vampires?" War scoffed. "More like disco balls with legs."

Plague disagreed. On the contrary, they have every vampiric trait you'd expect. Superhuman speed, strength, and senses, they drink blood and have supernatural powers, they don't breathe, they're cold to the touch, and they don't sleep. As far as predators go, they have been designed quite well.

"They sparkle…in the sunlight…" War said flatly.

They can break solid rock as if it were Styrofoam.

"They don't even have fangs."

Their bite is more than enough to make up for a lack of fangs.

"They seduce teenage girls and then don't have the balls to turn them."

They're biologically immortal; they'll live indefinitely.

War opened his mouth to argue further, but Death stepped in.

"Enough. Yes, War, these vampires are actually rather impressive, all things considered. Their skin is diamond-hard, their speed and strength is incredible by human standards, and their senses are among the most acute in the animal kingdom. They have supernatural powers that rank amongst even the strongest of demigods. However, Plague, all of that is undermined by the glaring fact that they sparkle in the sun and spend more time attending high school than working towards more worthwhile endeavors, like saving the whales, or fighting terror in the Middle East, or making sure public restrooms are always clean. Now that we're done here, I believe we all have more important matters to attend to."

"Yes," War said wistfully. "It's my children's fifth birthday. Lots of festivities."

Arcadia is also quite excited for his birthday. I promised I'd teach him to use the Yautja technologies.

Unfortunately, the one known as Death had no such things to look forward to. The ones he had considered his children had died in rather gruesome ways, one being shocked with lightning so powerful everything but her bones were burned away, and the other had invoked so much divine power in a single instance that he combusted.

"I hate both of you."

Three of the Four Horseman left for their own worlds, and the Cullen house erupted in flames.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Started: 5/28/2019 at roughly 9:00 in the morning.

Ended: 5/29/2019 at roughly 12:40 in the afternoon.

Went to lunch with Granddad and Little Sister.

Didn't expect it to be this long, but here it is. And you guys were actually believing that the Twilight vampires were going to be any more important than a little bit of dry humor. Maybe Twilight bashing should be the Fourth Constant.

Anyway, the next chapter is going to be fun, since it's the quest with Percy, Reyna, and Octavian.

Also been toying with Hunter x Hunter crossover in which Percy, Jason, and Nico are Nen users that are collectively called the "Three Kings" due to the power of their abilities. It was briefly referenced in Chapter 70 of Backup Plan under the name "Phantom Troupe's Destroyer.

Thoughts?

Fav, Follow, and Review!