Chapter 35! Sorry for the long wait. I don't really have an excuse. I've just been super lazy and haven't felt like doing anything recently.
Olivia's POV
I sat there, holding Nick in my arms, offering him all the comfort I could. I realized how far he had come. He had never been able to get through half of it before. Maybe he was ready for work. I held him, hoping he wouldn't push me away after. Every time he had showed any sign of 'weakness' he would run or hide after. I just hoped he had come far enough to not do that this time. He finally sat up, and my shirt was soaked with his tears. "Sorry." He said, wiping the tears from his eyes.
"Don't be sorry."
"Your shirt is all wet. I'm sorry." He said, trying to let out a laugh.
"I know. I'll go change it." I said, thinking it was bothering him to look at it. A plain display of his pain, staring back at him. I stood, and walked back into the master bedroom, I tore the shirt from me, and I grabbed another shirt, and I saw a figure appear in the doorway. I jumped further than I ever thought I could. "Oh my gosh, Nick, you scared me." I said, standing there in my bra, with my shirt clutched to my chest, trying to cover me.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot you were-" He shook his head, and looked away.
"It's not like it's anything you've never seen." I said, dropping my shirt. "Come here." I told him. He walked over slowly to me, and I took his hand. "Nick, you're the only person I'll trust to see me like this, I think for the rest of my life. I want you to know that. I trust you. I love you."
He took a step closer to me, and placed a hand on my waist. It was like we were dancing, but there was no music, but we still started swaying in sync. I laid my head on his chest, and I used it as my rhythm. There was nowhere else I wanted to be. His arms were so comforting, and having them wrapped around me was all I needed. He kissed me. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. We sat down on the bed together. We both knew we weren't ready, so we didn't even try to pretend we were. He shed his shirt, and we both climbed to the center of the bed. We both took our pants off, and we kissed. We pulled the covers up, and we intertwined our legs, and wrapped our arms around each other's almost naked bodies. It wasn't what normal couples would enjoy, but it was all we could handle. It was actually a huge step for us. I loved every bit of it, and I placed one last kiss on his lips before we both drifted off to sleep.
Nick's POV
We both had an incredibly great night the previous night, and I woke up in an extremely good mood. You know, that kind of mood that you see someone in, and you're just thinking, ooh what did he do last night? But all it was, was having her in my arms again, and she loved me. I could feel it. Neither one of us had a nightmare that night. We owed it all to each other. I felt better than ever, and I thought it would be a good time to convince everyone I would be fine to return to work. Even if, it was only paperwork, I could live with it. I didn't know if I was ready for field stuff anyways. Olivia was getting ready for work, and so I decided to as well. When she saw what I was doing, she gave me a look that told me it was my choice, but she didn't think others would be so approving. "Just say it. You don't think I'm ready."
"That's not it. Last night you proved you were ready, but no one else was there last night. They didn't get to see. I just don't know how they're gonna feel."
"Will you back me up?"
"Of course, but they haven't been listening to me a whole lot, recently."
"Thanks."
"When are you going to tell them?" she asked.
"You promised you wouldn't push me."
"I know, there's no pressure. I was just wondering, if it was something you were even thinking about yet."
I had been thinking about it. The pressure I had put on myself was enough. Amanda said she was ready when I was, and I didn't want to hold her back. I wanted to do it soon, but if I tried, I didn't think I could actually get the words out. "I thought about it. But, they don't need that image in their heads."
"You don't need to protect them. You don't have to give them any details or anything."
"I know. I just think, if I tried, I don't think I would be able to say the words." I admitted.
She nodded. "I thought the same thing. I mean, I didn't need to say it, it was obvious. But, I didn't think I'd be able to give my statement, ever. It wasn't easy, but I did it. I got through it. I told a complete stranger every humiliating detail..."
"I'm just not ready. I need to show them that I can still do my job, before I tell them."
"Nick, you don't have to prove anything. They know you're a good cop."
"I need to do this for myself, Liv. Please, understand." I said, and she nodded.
Olivia's POV
We arrived at work together, and I swear, every single person in the precinct's head turned at the same time, as they all fell silent. Well, besides Amanda who gave a glance, and then continued talking to Fin.
"You should probably go talk to Murphy." I said, trying to ignore the stares.
Fin waved Amanda off, and walked over to us. "Hey, Nick. You should pry talk to Murphy before you do anything else." Nick nodded, and walked into Murphy's office. "How's he doing?" Fin asked me as we walked to my desk.
"He's come a long way." I told Fin. "I think he's ready."
"I trust you." Fin said, and walked over to his desk.
I just hoped Nick really was ready. I waited four months after Lewis to go back to work, and this was about four months after the escape. I just knew, even though I had a few missteps, after Lewis, I was really ready to come back. I'd taken probably more time than I needed. This time, we were both coming back as soon as we possibly could. Maybe it was a pride thing. Neither one of us wanted to take more time off than the other did, and we both wanted to be the first one back to work. I sat staring at my desk, running these thoughts over again in my head.
"Liv, you okay?" Amanda asked on her way to get some coffee.
"Yeah, I'm just tired."
"Want me to make you some coffee?"
"I can get it myself." I said, and we both walked over there, and Amanda poured herself a cup, then handed it over to me.
"You think Nick's ready to come back?" She asked. "I mean, has he been dealing with it?"
"Yeah. He told me about all of it. Last night."
"How are you doing?"
"I'm fine." I told her, and I walked back to my desk. I didn't want to talk about myself. I didn't want to talk about how scared I was. I was scared for Nick. I was scared for the baby. I was scared I would never be able to have sex again. I was terrified. Of this job. Of my future. I did not want to talk about me.
Nick took a seat at his desk across from mine. "How'd it go?"
"I'm on desk duty, until they need me, or I show him I'm ready for the field."
I nodded. "It's a start."
Nick nodded to me, and hung his head at his desk.
Nick's POV
For the next two days he had me doing nothing but desk duty. Murphy sent me home after four hours the first day, but the next day he let me leave on my own terms. I was just hoping today would be the same. It had been a rough day from the start. Olivia and I had started sleeping in our undergarments, and nothing else. It was progression, but Olivia had her arms wrapped around me, and her arms slid down my back, till they were right above my boxers. I was about to shove her away from me, but I caught myself in the middle, and I only gave her a light shove. She jumped back, and held her hands in the air. I felt horrible. I didn't mean for my mind to go there when she touched me, I couldn't help it.
After a few hours for paperwork, Murphy made an announcement in front of the whole precinct. There was a man they were chasing. He'd kidnapped and killed five girls, and he was holding a sixth hostage as he tried to escape. Murphy said he wanted every available unit out looking for him. That meant me, right? After Murphy made his speech, he walked toward his office. "Amaro. My office?" I followed him in, and shut the door behind me. "Amaro. You think you're ready for the field?"
"Yes, sir." I told him.
"Okay. This is going to be your trial. Fin will be your partner."
"Is there any way I could be paired with Rollins?" He looked at me hesitantly. "It's just, she knows more, and I'm sure I'll be fine... but if I'm not... She has a better idea of what's going on."
He thought about it for a moment. Maybe it wasn't the smartest idea to have the two most unstable detectives paired together, but at least he was considering it... "Okay. Can you call her in here?"
I did, and he told us we would be partners, and gave us our task before letting us go. I was going to be back in the field. This was the only chance I'd have for a long time if I blew it. I knew I couldn't.
The suspect's credit card had just been used at a gas station near Rollins and I so, we were sent to check it out. We pulled up at the gas station, and it was shady like they all are. We could see a man arguing with the man behind the desk over something. We entered as the guy started to leave, but I stood in his way, holding up my badge, and he ran to the back of the store. Rollins followed, and I followed Rollins. He barely made it out of the back door before Rollins tackled him. I caught up, and helped her bring him to his feet after she got the cuffs on him.
"Hey, I didn't do nothin'"
"Then why'd you run?" I asked.
"I just got caught in the moment, you know, I'm standing there, you're blocking me, you flash your badge at me. I felt like I was in one of those cops movies. They always run in those movies, you know?"
"Only the guilty ones run. Where's the girl?" Rollins asked.
"I don't know what you're talkin' 'bout."
"I think you do. Remember her?" She pulls out a picture of the girl who was kidnapped. "You kidnapped her! Now, you're holding her. Where is she, Robert?"
"Robert? Name's Matt. You got it all wrong."
We checked his ID, and he was in fact, named Matt. We asked him where he got the credit card from, and he told us some guy had paid him to travel as far as he could in this direction, and use it. That was earlier in the day. That meant he had to be nearly in Canada by then. We reported back, and we were instructed to return to the precinct.
Amanda's POV
We returned to the precinct, and I saw the owner of the club I still owed, standing there. I grabbed Nick's arm, and I made a sharp turn. He followed me. "What's wrong?"
"That's him. In there. The man who assaulted me at the club. I haven't paid him back yet. Last time he was here, he was asking to talk to Murphy."
"Murphy knows you were there, he'll have your back."
I walked in the precinct with Nick by my side, hoping he wouldn't approach me. I saw him shake hands with Murphy, and then he walked toward me. "Detective Rollins."
"Leave me alone."
"You owe me. A thousand is on me. You're welcome. You pay me back, or you can continue paying it my way. Your choice." He said, and he left. Immediately, Murphy called me into his office. He didn't look happy.
"I gave you another chance, and you blew it!"
"What are you talking about?" My heart started racing.
"I have no option but to fire you this time."
"Lieutenant."
"I gave you so many chances. I believed you when you said you wanted to get better."
"I haven't gambled." I hung my head, knowing what the owner had been there for. "Please, don't listen to him. I owe him a lot of money, and this is his way of making me pay it back."
"I want to believe you, Rollins. I do. Explain this." He handed me a picture of myself from the security footage. I was gambling.
"This is from the night he assaulted me. I haven't been back there since. I swear."
"Look at the time stamp."
It was dated for last Saturday at 9 PM. "He altered it! Check the tape! You'll see Fin come and get me. Ask him."
"I will."
"He's trying to ruin my life until I pay him."
"Do you still have those clothes? Have you washed them since?"
"I uh, I burned them. His semen was all over them. I couldn't-" I hung my head.
"Rollins. Did he rape you?" Why did everyone keep asking me that?
I shook my head. "We had consensual sex. Then, he got rough, and started assaulting me. I got away before he could..."
Murphy nodded. "You will be on leave, until we get this straightened out. I really hope you're not lying to me."
"I- I'm not. Thank you for listening to my side of the story." I said, and I left. I caught stares from everyone as I picked up my things on my way out of the station.
"Amanda." I heard Nick say, but I just kept walking. I needed to go to a meeting.
Nick's POV
I walked into Murphy's office after I saw Amanda leave. "What was that about?"
"I was given this picture." Murphy handed me the picture of Amanda gambling. "It's dated for last Saturday. I need to know if it's legit."
"Can I take Liv?"
"No. You know she can't go in the field."
"Then, I have to wait for Fin to get back, which gives them more time to cover their tracks."
"You can't take Benson."
"Well, can you have Barba get us a warrant for the security footage while I wait?"
"I'll work on it. You, tell Benson her shift is up."
I walked out of his office, and I sat down next to Olivia. I knew how horrible it felt to be sent home. I wanted to do it softly. "Hey, how are you doing?"
"Fine. I'm almost done typing this up. How was your first day in the field?"
"Great."
"But?"
"Murphy told me to tell you, your shift is up."
She rolled her eyes. "I guess you'll find your own ride?"
"No. I'll tell him I have to go." I said. I was glad to be out in the field, but I knew the right thing was to go home with Olivia, even if it was a little early. I knew Murphy was about to send me home as well.
Olivia's POV
It was a good day at work for the both of us. I didn't know why I wanted to have sex with Nick so bad, but I did. Ever since the thought had entered my mind that Jack was the last person... I needed Nick. He wasn't ready, and neither was I. We knew it would be ugly whenever we tried, but we still kept trying. We had been having decent nights, even with the one less layer of clothing. We were making progress.
It started off with a kiss. We were already in bed, with half of our clothes off. We kept our hands on each other's face, except to remove our own clothing. We didn't touch each other. "Just get it in me." I whispered. I needed him in me. I needed to be able to know Nick was the last person to be in me. We were laying on our sides, and Nick rolled to his back, and I got on top. He remembered what I had said after the last time about not doing well with lying on my back. I straddled him, and I waited as I kissed him. I felt him near my entrance. My heart started racing. He slipped it inside me. Without any foreplay, and with my injuries that were healed, but still a little tender, it hurt a little bit. It's just Nick. It's just Nick. I let myself fall onto him, taking all of him in me. It's just Nick. I didn't expect it to hurt as much as it did. I started moving my hips, moving up and down on him. It still hurt. It's just Nick.
"Liv."
It's just Nick. It's just Nick.
"Liv."
I started going faster, but the pain only increased. It's just Nick.
"Liv, Stop!"
I froze. How long had he been saying that?
"Are you okay?" He asked.
I tried to catch my breath, and I realized tears were streaming down my face, and had already made their way down to my chest. I got off of Nick, and it was covered in blood. I looked down at myself, and it could see the blood starting to leak out. "Oh my gosh. Nick. Oh my- oh my gosh. The baby. Nick. I can't lose the baby. Nick."
"Take a deep breath. Okay? We're going to the ER."
I froze. I couldn't do anything. I laid on the bed, watching the blood spill from me. Nick grabbed me a pair of his sweats, an NYPD t-shirt, underwear, and a pad. "Here."
"I'll ruin your sweats."
"That's why I grabbed these. Come on." He said, and he changed into a similar outfit to mine. I was shaking so bad, I could hardly get my underwear on. Nick helped me stand on one foot for the sweats, since I was so shaken up. He held the t-shirt so all I had to do was stick my hands in the arm holes, and then we were off.
The tears never stopped. "I thought I was too old to have kids. I can't lose her." I cried as he drove me to the hospital. "She's our little baby girl. What if she doesn't make it?"
"You can't think like that. You have to stay positive."
"I'm bleeding from... down there. What else could it be!?"
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Nick, I'm sorry. It's not your fault." We arrived at the ER, and we both walked up. The waiting room was full, and I just imagined myself bleeding out in the waiting room. We got to the front desk.
"Hello. What's going on?"
I looked at Nick, and pleaded him to tell her. I couldn't say it. "She's pregnant, and she's bleeding from her vagina." He said.
"Okay, they're going to take you right back there, and get your vitals."
They took us to a little room behind the desk, and the weighed me, took my blood pressure, my temperature while the other nurse asked me questions. "Have you had anything like this recently?"
I looked at Nick, begging him to answer. I knew it was hard on him to say the words, but I couldn't. "When she was raped. He scraped her sides, and it continuously bled.
"Okay, is he your husband?"
"Boyfriend." I told her, and she asked him to step outside. I started to get nervous. I didn't know if I could do it without him.
"Now, do you feel safe in your own home?"
"No, that's why I live with Nick."
"Has he ever hurt you?"
"He's not abusive." He had hurt me, but never intentionally. He'd hurt me that night. Well, I sort of hurt myself, but he did have a part in it.
"Olivia."
It hurt. How did I not see something wasn't right? It hurt so bad.
"Olivia." I jumped. "You can follow Eric here, and he'll take you to a room."
Nick joined me as Eric led me to the back, and gave me a private room. He closed the curtain, and gave me a hospital gown to change into. I had Nick help me with balancing as I pulled my sweats off. I kept my underwear on, even though I probably wasn't supposed to. But, I didn't want the bed to be soaked. I held Nick's hand as Eric entered the room again, and hooked me up to the machine. I jumped when he reached in the gown. I squeezed Nick's hand as hard as I could. I couldn't lose it. He reached around the gown on the left side, and swatted his hand. "Please."
Eric nodded. "Would you like your boyfriend to put it on? Or would you like to do it yourself?"
I looked at Nick. "Nick can do it." I said, and Eric touched me over my gown, where Nick needed to place it, and I didn't jump when Nick put it on. I was so jumpy. I didn't know how I was going to make it through the more invasive parts.
"Fin's calling your phone." Nick told me.
"You answer." I told him. The nurse came in at that time. Nick tried to speak quietly, and the nurse tried to keep my attention, and I tried to listen to both.
"Liv's in the hospital. She had some bleeding."
"So, you're having bleeding in the vaginal region?"
"Yeah. I'm pregnant."
"Worried about the baby."
"You were raped?"
"Yeah."
"You really don't have to come. We got this. Okay. Okay. Bye."
I did not need Fin here. "What?" I said, as I realized the nurse had asked me another question.
"Have you had sex recently?"
"That's why I'm bleeding."
"Did you have any pain during intercourse?"
"Yeah. I thought it was-" The tears started to flow. "It was our first time since the-"
"Since the rape?" She added, and I nodded.
"I'm going to need to examine you. So, if you could scoot to the edge, and put your feet flat on the bed." I first pulled my underwear off, and I saw the pad was already soaked. That wasn't a good sign. I held Nick's hand as I got in the position she asked, but still letting the gown drape over my knees. The nurse lifted the gown over my knees, and I squeezed Nick's hand, earning a squeeze back from him. "Okay, I'm going to need to clean you up to see. You're going to feel me touching you." The nurse said, and I jumped back at the contact, doing everything I could to resist kicking her in the face. "I'm sorry." She apologized.
Then I heard a knock at the room, and the curtain opened, and Eric came in. "Can the patient in 14 eat anything?"
"No. No." I said, backing away from him. I felt the edge of the bed, but I needed to get away. I caught myself as I left the bed, and I stumbled back into the corner. Nick's hand detached from mine.
Jack was in my room. I could feel it hurting. He was inside me. "No. Stop! Please! It hurts!" I cried, and looked for Nick. I needed his strength. I saw Nick walking straight toward me. "I can't do this."
"Liv, you need to. For the baby."
What? I didn't understand. Jack was raping me, and... NO! Jack was trying to get me pregnant. "Get off me! Get off! Stop! Nick help me!" I screamed.
"Liv, you're safe. You're in the hospital. He's not here."
Was this a trick? I looked around, seeing the nurse staring at me, and another nurse had entered, a security guard, and Eric was there. I remembered what had set me off. "I know. I know, I'm sorry." I said, and I fell into Nick's arms.
"It's okay. You're safe now." He said as he rubbed circles on my back.
"Make them leave." I whispered to him. I didn't need them to see this. I was already embarrassed enough.
"Give us a minute?" Nick asked, and they all left. "It's just us."
"Help me on to the bed?" I asked, and Nick scooped me in him arms, and set me down on the bed. "I didn't need that much help."
"I know. You good?"
"You can let the nurse in."
Nick went out, and got the nurse, and I heard Fin's voice outside. He was begging them to let him in, but they were saying how distraught I was. The nurse entered the room again, and I got back in position. I grasped Nick's hand, as she wiped me down, getting a clear view of it all. "You're going to feel a little pressure, okay?" The nurse told me.
"Ow. Ow. Ow." I squeezed Nick's hand again. He did his best to comfort me. The tears ran down my face. I felt so exposed.
"Liv, you're going great." That was a lie.
The nurse finished up, and told me I could go back to sitting regularly. I wiped the tears from my face as I sat up.
"I think I know what's going on. It seems like your baby shouldn't have been harmed, but we will do an ultrasound just to be sure."
I let out a breath. That was all I was concerned with. "So, what's going on?"
"Did you guys use any lubricant? Was there any build-up to it?"
I shook my head.
"That's what caused it. Your vaginal walls are still a little tender from the rape. It should improve over time, but with no build-up or lubricant, he's too big for your body to handle right now."
"What about the baby? Will I be able to handle having her?"
"I'm not your doctor, so I can't say for sure what she'll do, but you're probably going to have to have a C-section."
"So, what now?"
"We're going to keep you here until the bleeding has subsided. I'm going to see if we can get you an ultrasound right now." The nurse left.
"How are we going to explain this to Fin?" I asked Nick with a half a laugh.
"I guess we just have to tell him like it is, if he really wants to know."
"Can you get him?" I asked, and it didn't take him all of two seconds to bring him in.
"Hey. How you doing?" Fin asked, taking a seat by Nick.
"They said the baby should be fine."
"How are you doing?"
"I'm okay." I nodded. I was okay. I was alive. After everything, I was still here. I started to cry again. There's something about hospitals, I think. Nick took my hand.
"So, what happened? What's going on?"
I looked at Nick begging him to tell Fin, but Nick shook his head. I had to do it. I took a deep breath. This was so embarrassing. "Nick's too big for me. Apparently."
"You were having sex?" Fin asked. I nodded. I didn't want to hear his response, but I'm glad I did. "Good for you guys. You've come so far. I'm proud of you."
"Thank you." I told him. His words meant so much. He didn't judge that we were together. He didn't try to tell us it was too soon, or inappropriate. He knew we were dating, and he also knew I wanted to have sex, even though I didn't think I could do it. He knew how much it meant to us, and how big of a step it was. Even if, it wasn't perfect, we were still able to get that far, and it was an accomplishment.
Eric entered the room. "I'm here to take you upstairs for your ultrasound, and for the rest of your time." Eric disconnected me from the monitor and wheeled the bed out of the room, and I wouldn't let go of Nick's hand. We got to a tight turn, and Eric asked Nick to let go of my hand, and he did, but I squeezed his hand as tight as I could.
"Olivia, I'll be right behind you." Nick told me, and wiggled his hand out of my grasp. He didn't let go of my hand at any other time. I didn't know why I was being so clingy to him. I think it was the thought of losing our little girl, made me not want to lose him too.
We finally made it to the room, and I had to switch beds. I was in my gown, and I was still bleeding. There was a pad on the new bed to catch the blood, and I didn't know how I would make it over there without flashing everyone. It wasn't that I wanted to be modest or anything. I completely trusted Fin, and I was fine with the tech, but I had scars, and I didn't want them to see. I wanted to protect them. They didn't need to see me bleeding from down there either.
"Do you want my help, or can you do it on your own?" Eric asked me.
I pulled my legs up so they were hiding under the gown. I had suddenly become self-conscious of the scars. "Can I have some privacy, while I move?"
"Sure." Eric said, and he and Fin walked out, while Nick gave me a look that said 'are you sure?' and then headed toward the door.
"Nick. Stay." I said, and Fin closed the door behind him. I took Nick's hand for leverage as I moved to the new bed. The gown fell in the crease above my thigh, as I lowered myself on the bed. That was the reason I asked the other two to leave. I quickly covered my thighs with the gown after I got seated, and I told Nick he could let the others in. Eric came in to take the other bed, and Fin took a seat in the room. Fin's phone started ringing as soon as he sat down.
"It's Murphy I gotta take it." He said, stepping outside.
I held Nick's hand, hoping everything would be alright. So much for being able to have sex. If it wasn't an emotional inability, it was a physical inability. I hated it so much. Jack took so much from me. He was still controlling me. However, he was no longer the last person to touch me, to be with me. That went to Nick now. If I was never able to have sex for the rest of my life for some reason, I knew, Nick got to be the last person to hold me, to touch me, to be with me. That's all I cared about. "I'm so tired."
"It's been a long day." Nick said. "Hopefully you can get some rest after this."
Fin entered the room. "I have to go. I'll try to make it back tonight."
"Fin, don't worry about me. Nick's taking good care of me."
Fin nodded. "I'm glad. Take care." He said, and left.
As Fin left, the nurse came in the room, and gave me a blanket for my legs, and told me I would have to pull the hospital gown up for the ultra sound. I knew the drill. She left Nick and I alone, and we were able to get me ready without another breakdown. The doctor entered the room, and she wasn't my doctor, since it had been so late at night. She was still reading my chart as she sat in front of me. She finished, and turned her attention to me. "Hi, I'm Doctor James."
"I'm Olivia Benson."
"I know."
"Right. It says it in my file."
"No, you helped me when I was raped. I know you help hundreds of people, I wouldn't expect you to remember me."
"How long ago was this?"
"It was in 2000. I was in college. Forget I even said anything."
"I'm sorry. My mind only lets me go one place these days."
"I get it."
"How are you doing?"
"Great. I'm married, I have two kids. I couldn't be better. I owe a lot of it to you."
I shook my head.
"Okay, let's get back to the ultrasound." She said, becoming uncomfortable. I felt horrible for not knowing who she was, or not being able to say much. All I could really think about was my baby, and if she was still alive. I hadn't felt her move since Nick and I were kissing on the bed. Doctor James started the ultra sound, and I could see my little baby on the screen. "There she is. She's alive and well. Do you want to hear her heartbeat?"
I nodded. Seeing her didn't prove to me she was alive. I needed to hear the proof of life. She turned the volume up on the machine, and her heartbeat sounded strong, throughout the room. The tears filled my eyes, and Nick placed his hand on my shoulder. I looked over at him to see the tears in his eyes as well. I took him in for a hug. "She's okay. We're okay." I whispered to him.
Fin's POV
I had been called in to work to look at the security footage from the club Amanda had been at. The owner had told us he knew the picture was a fake, but to keep watching, the next weekend, she was there again. Carisi and I watched Amanda leave with the owner, and then go running in a while later, a mess. We kept an eye on the owner as he came in calmly after her, and whispered to a few men. Then, I came in. Then, I walked out from the restrooms with Amanda. I was surprised Carisi had kept his mouth shut this long.
"She looks like she's a mess."
I thought too soon. "She was pretty messed up." I said, but I felt uncomfortable talking about her without her being there. I fast forwarded it until the time stamp in the corner was the next weekend.
"Woah, stop." Carisi said, and I played it. "Is that her? At that table?"
I zoomed in, and I got a clear picture of her. I shook my head. "There's no way." I said. I watched some guy walk up to her, and they headed outside. She walked in later, adjusting her skirt. I shook my head. The man she was with, went as paid off her debt? Then, Amanda went back to the tables, and started kissing on this boy who couldn't have been out of college. They left together, Amanda waving ten dollars in the air. "Something's not right. I saw her after that night she was assaulted. There's no way she would ever go back there." I got pictures for the surveillance footage, and I stormed out of the precinct to talk to Amanda. I needed to know these guy's names, and see what Amanda had to say.
...
I pounded on Amanda's door, and it took her a while to answer, but she did. "Fin. Did Murphy tell you?"
"Tell me what?" I wanted to see what her story was.
"He's trying to ruin my life. The photo, it's edited! I never would've went back there after what happened..."
"I believe you. I do. It's just, the security footage." I showed her the pictures of her with the two guys, at various times in the night. "Look at the time stamp."
"It's made up! He's setting me up! I wasn't there!"
"Where were you?"
She took a look at the time stamp, and let out a breath. "I was at a GA meeting. I can get you the footage."
"'Manda, what the hell did I watch you doing on the footage?"
"It was altered!"
"I mean, with those guys. You leave with one man, come back adjusting your skirt, and your debt disappears, doesn't it?"
She covered her face. "I know, but I didn't have the money. I didn't have a choice."
"Then, you get it on with a baby kid."
"He was eighteen, it was perfectly legal, and none of your business."
"You had to ask him his age. Did you check his ID?"
"Yeah. I wanted to be sure, he looked so young. I have my downfalls, but I'm not a rapist."
"Why? Why did you feel like you had to do all of that?"
She bit her lip as she looked at the ceiling. She looked back down, closing her eyes as the tears fell. "I got myself in a hole. I couldn't tell anyone, or I'd be fired. I had no one. I needed someone to care about me, even if it was only for a little while, and even if they only cared about my body. The last GA meeting I had went to, I was sent home. You, Nick, and Olivia were all looking out for each other, and no one paid any attention to me. They did." She wiped the tears.
"I never stopped caring. You could've called me, and told me you were struggling, and I would've been over in a second."
"I know. I just couldn't. I'm sorry. I'm done with that life though. I'm getting the money, and I'm gonna pay him back."
"Lemme help you with that. I'll get you 5 grand, but I don't want to see you gambling another cent."
"You don't have to do that."
"I want to."
Olivia's POV
I was in the hospital for two days before they finally sent me back home with Nick. Nick was so great during those days. He helped me so much, and I actually believed we could be a normal family. The nightmares and flashbacks were bad for me during those days, but Nick kept it together. I was so lucky to have him by my side.
So, what'd you think? This chapter turned out extra-long because I told myself I couldn't end it until I resolved the Amanda mess, and then they went to the hospital and yada yada you know the story. A review would make me very happy.