Every step Lola took as she paced was stiff with tension. "Anyone know where they are hiding?"
Silence reigned. James had already made the mistake of saying they should kick Cerberus in their balls first for a change, earning himself a scorching glare from Shepard. No one else was stupid enough to repeat his mistake.
"Anyone?" Shepard growled.
Glancing at his companions, James saw that no one was moving. Not one of them seemed motivated to speak. Shepard's frustration was tangible, the sort of thing that would snarl and bite you if you so much as breathed.
Rowan seemed unfazed. Maybe she was just a better actress. The other Spectre leaned a hip against one of the consoles, absorbing Shepard's rage like a capacitor, storing it for her own use later. He supposed coming from a large family would equip Ashley with the means to redirect negative energy in a spectacular fashion.
Tinker stood closest to Shepard; the quarian's helmet periodically reflecting images of the commander, arms crossed angrily over her chest, as she marched back and forth. The little alien clasped her hands together, which were twitching as though she wanted to wring them, but she valiantly fought off the urge.
Some of the team members could shrug off the unpredictable atmosphere that surrounded Shepard, and they waited in various states of composure, except Dr. T'Soni. She was furthest away, choosing to stand in a spot partially obscured by shadows; her head bowed and arms hanging idly to her sides as she listened to the commander. She had been disconnected ever since Thessia. He wondered if he was being too harsh, holding on to the grudge against her for her part in chasing Rook away.
As he watched, Liara's eyes darkened even as the light caught them. She stepped out of the shadows and Shepard's attention riveted to her.
"Something to add, T'Soni?" the commander barked.
"Before disembarking, Specialist Traynor programmed a tracer keyed to Kai Lang's shuttle. About an hour ago it returned a hit. I checked the results, but the data is incomplete. The signal vanished."
"Vanished where?"
"The Iera System."
Lola stopped moving. She glared at Liara for a long moment. "Are you kidding me with this shit?"
Liara's jaw twitched and her eyes narrowed, appearing affronted. "I would not jest about something of this nature, Commander. I asked EDI to check into it. The signal is not just gone, it is being actively blocked."
Rowan's face twisted sourly for a moment before she managed to school it. "I was stationed on Horizon, Shepard. Yours was the only Cerberus presence in that system."
The commander nodded. "You realize this is a slim lead, T'Soni?" Her tone was acerbic.
Liara kept her gaze locked on Shepard. "You have come too far to let Cerberus stop you now."
Shepard looked away first, stabbing a finger at the asari. "Better be worth it!" she barked, and then she stomped out the door.
Everyone but Liara followed, thankful they had all escaped relatively unscathed. The asari gripped the railing encircling the war room. As he neared, James could see that she was trembling, her chin dropping nearly to her chest, her knuckles turning white.
"Doc?"
"Lieutenant Vega," she said, immediately stowing all traces of any vulnerability, "is there something I can do for you?"
He took a breath. "You're upset."
"I do not imagine you care much."
James supposed he deserved that. He understood why she would be less inclined to trust him, his guilty feelings regarding his handling of their last encounter aside. He shrugged, not wanting to press the issue, and made for the exit.
"James."
He turned.
"The intelligence came from Specialist Traynor." Her voice was a hollow whisper. "She is in danger."
"Mierda! Why didn't you just tell Shepard that?"
She shook her head as she whispered, "I could not." When she looked up at him, her large blue eyes were round with fear. In all the times he'd been dirt-side with her, he'd only seen anguish smeared so distinctively over her features once, right before Shepard jumped off the cliff. "If Shepard knew—I was afraid she..." She trailed off, covering her face with a hand and bowing her head again. Her shoulders rounded in. "James, I cannot separate myself from this."
In that moment, hearing Liara speak so softly, so brokenly, James realized just how much Samantha's absence had affected the asari. She had to be suffering a great deal to be this open with him, especially given how nasty they'd been to each other lately. He could see she'd been trying to keep herself together and was ultimately failing.
He put a hand between her shoulder blades, feeling the physical manifestation of her distress in the form of an intense shiver. "The worst thing you can do is hold it in, Blue. You're allowed to feel things."
She took a shaky breath. "I do not know how I should feel."
"I don't envy you that," he admitted. "But I hope you have a chance to figure it out."
· x ·
Samantha jolted awake with tears staining her cheeks. Cramps had locked the muscles in her arms and legs, which were screaming to be stretched. Over the past couple of days, Samantha had been training herself to ignore the discomfort. After eighteen hours of wakefulness, she allowed herself to find the darkest most obscure junction of ductwork to hide in. She would curl up as much as possible, given the limited space, and try to sleep.
Days and nights had begun to blend together since she'd figured out that Cerberus could track her by her omni-tool; she'd been forced to disable it completely. Although she had been lucky enough to escape the troops twice, she refused to chance a third encounter. But eventually it wasn't Cerberus she had to contend with. Most of the troops had bugged out. Those that had been brave enough to stay had been eliminated. By the reapers.
Samantha shivered at the memory of the first reaper she saw up close. It had been a morning not unlike this one, where she had awoken with cramped legs and saline cooling on her face, but with hunger and thirst gnawing incessantly at her belly. She'd have given anything for a raindrop's worth of water and she knew that she was going to have to venture out of hiding.
After crawling through the ductwork for almost an hour, she had pried open the first vent she saw in order to survey the room below, hoping she could sneak safely out. Directly below her stood a single human husk, glowing blue with its garish reaper tech. She couldn't hold in a gasp of terror and the thing's head swung around, its creepy, soulless eyes locking on her. In the time it took her to scoot back, it had scaled the wall and was forcing its head and shoulders through the opening, an arm outstretched.
She had screamed, feeling a pool of warmth spreading over her legs. Her fingers were numb with fright as she fumbled for her gun. It wasn't the first time she'd cried in fear, but as the thing made unnatural noises and tried to swipe at her, the tears had flowed. She continued to shove herself backwards through the ducting. In its haste, the thing had gotten stuck, although she had no doubt it would soon be free. Finally liberating her pistol, Sam aimed through blurry vision and pulled the trigger. Its head exploded in a spray of putrid meat and electronics, covering her in gore.
The specialist had lain in a puddle of her own piss and reaper viscera for an immeasurable amount of time, trying to get the shaking to subside, trying to gather the courage to move forward again, hoping there weren't more husks below. Her fear and disgust were eventually overrun by her need to survive and the relative silence was broken by a violent rumble in her belly. She'd had to crawl through the mess in order to reach the opening again. Thankfully the room had been clear and she'd been able to ease down.
Slumped against the door had been the only other occupant, a dead Cerberus operative. Samantha immediately realized that the female agent had something she could use: her light armour. The woman looked bigger than Sam, but the specialist thought she could make do. Steeling herself, she had approached the body. She started with the operative's boots, but the stench had been unbearable and she had stumbled away, bending at the waist and giving herself over to dry heaves. After her nausea subsided, Samantha had removed her own shirt, tying it snugly over her face to staunch most of the smell. She had worked as quickly as possible, at one point screwing her eyes shut as she jostled the body and its head lolled, opening a crude rent in its throat...
Forcing the memory out of her head, Samantha shivered, swiping away the tears of nightmares that paled in comparison to her reality. Although she had been thankful for the over-sized armour on several occasions, she felt like a traitor wearing anything emblazoned with the Cerberus logo.
· x ·
Author's Note: I want to thank WordKrush for a wonderful brainstorming session. It's always helpful to have an outside perspective. I have much food for thought now. :D My gratitude also goes to Sirrocco and Midnight Lion for their help with this chapter. And to the readers who have stuck with this train wreck, I thank you, too.