A/N: Well I'm a bit late here, aren't I? I'm sorry...I'm insanely busy with school and it's going to be like this for a while. Hopefully though, I'll still be able to churn out new chapters!

So for those reading Tongue Tied that are 18 and up, I wrote an R-rated Lys & Skye one-shot called "Pull Me Under"! It's on my profile now and you can read it, leave reviews hopefully, etc! I'd say it was set in back a couple of chapters before Christmas, though you can fit it in where you like, I guess! (Ha, funny how I say 18 and older but I've been writing smut since I was like 12. Sorry Mom, sorry Dad, but you're welcome Fanfiction . net)

+ nikkasa on tumblr - look out for a Mason & Skye art coming up soon to thank you guys for getting Tongue Tied rated so high! Weee

+ lostconcoctions on MCL !

Enjoy chapter 36! Replies to reviews are down after the chapter

- Nikki / Nikkasa

Thirty Six: In the Dark

I had learned to live with the new arrangement of things.

Days passed and winter was completely over. Spring was in full bloom as were the flowers, the trees, fruits and the plants. Even the pollen and insects had come out to play, giving me allergies and Bridgette a couple of bites on her arms here and there.

Castiel didn't speak to me anymore after that night involving Kentin. In fact, after that, every single time I looked his way, he had Deborah to keep him company. And there was nothing for me to say about it either. No matter how iffy I felt about her, there was nothing I could really do or say without looking like another bully. I had to face it, even I figured out that much. Even though I felt like they shouldn't be together, that there was just something off about her, I couldn't talk. She had been around here before I ever arrived. I didn't know a thing. Maybe they really were happy before I ever moved here. Maybe they were happy again now. Maybe I was wrong and maybe what I felt for Castiel really was a mistake, an impulse, something that I was beginning to condition myself to forget.

Yes, forget.

Then there was Lysander. He had kept his promise of not being romantic with me until I was ready though he always seemed to want it even with the current state of our relationship. But slowly, the small reaching for me began to dwindle. No longer did his hands try and press against the small of my back, or hold my hips even as we walked. There wasn't anymore of the forehead kisses or sudden embraces. I wondered where they went.

With the new turn of events, Lianne was just having a field day. Of course, I was lucky enough that she didn't turn in Lysander's notebook to Peggy. I assumed it was to keep other competition away from him, but I couldn't be too sure. It seemed more probable than her having some respect for our relationship, so that seemed like the way to go.

To keep the long story short, things felt like they were coming apart at the seams from where I stood.

Were things really better this way?

Will I ever find out?

—-

"I can't believe you turned him down, Skye." Bridgette clucked her tongue at me as Kentin walked past us. I did my best not to make eye contact. "Ken got cute."

When he had disappeared into the school, I nearly spat my water directly onto her face. "What do you mean you can't believe I turned him down? I don't need another boy in my life!"

"He's technically been the first one there." She shrugged. "He's been around since middle school when you started wearing your first training bra!"

Okay now that made me choke on the water.

"Please, Bridge, please don't. Ken's always been a good guy. You and I both know that. But I never saw him as anything more than a friend and I'm not going to now."

My sister just sighed. "You're stuck in that loop, you know."

"That loop?" I asked.

"Yeah. You're still in that mindset that you're someone's girlfriend. That's why you're closing your mind off from anyone that isn't Lysander."

"I don't know why you make that seem like it's a bad thing." I said. "Lysander and I might have agreed to be just friends, but it doesn't mean I'm going to go off to meet new people and date around. We agreed to be that for a reason."

"Sis, I believe you, you know." Bridgette said, setting down the magazine she was reading. "I just want you to be happy. You've got your chance, this is your do-over. Don't take it for granted."

I grumbled. "You don't have to remind me."

"Oh but sometimes, I think I do." She began to read again.

Rosalya approached the two of us, looking different than her usual self.

Dark circles were under her eyes and a somber look painted her face. My sister and I both noticed it immediately, exchanging a quick glance before Rosa had the chance to talk.

When her footsteps stopped as she moved to stand next to me, I raised my eyebrow at her.

"Rough night?" I asked.

"You could call it that." She said, her posture tight and rigid. Something was definitely up.

"Drink too much?" Bridgette suggested.

"No." The look on Rosa's face was dead serious. She was not in the mood for explaining either. At least, not to Bridgette.

"Skye, I think I want some fast food. Can we get some?" She asked me. I bit my lip and felt around my back for my wallet.

"I guess I have some cash to spare." I told her. "Where to?"

"I don't know." Rosalya replied absentmindedly, as if she hadn't even thought that far into her idea. "Wherever. Let's just…go."

Without questioning it too much, Bridgette and I exchanged another glance. She nodded at me and began to gather her things as I walked towards the interior of the school with Rosa before exiting.

—

"Are you going to talk and decide where you want to eat or are we just going to walk around like this?" I asked her. It had been ten minutes and I was missing class, but Rosalya didn't seem to notice my irritation.

"Wherever you want, Skye." She replied.

I groaned. "Rosa, you're the one who wanted to leave in the first place."

"Skylar," Rosa gulped. When I caught her eye, it was the first moment I had ever seen them look to sunken. My heart dropped to my stomach just by the looks of her. "It's…It's Leigh!"

Just like that, Rosalya had burst into tears.

I didn't know what to do. I wasn't the type to pull someone into a hug, to hold them and comfort them, to say it was okay. I froze there, completely lost in on myself and wondering what I could do. I had no idea what was happening and never before had I seen Rosalya so broken.

"R-Rosa," I swallowed, sweat beginning to form on my brow with worry. "Rosa, what's wrong? What about Leigh?"

"He…It's so…" She was huffing and crying still. "It's so hard…"

Before I could react, Rosalya had thrown her arms around me and began to sob as her legs gave out.

"Rosalya!" I struggled to hold her up, but it was as if she had turned into a child in a matter of seconds. She was blubbering, her make up running down her cheeks as she did.

"Skye—Skye, I don't…I don't know how you're so strong." She was breathing irregularly now.

Strong?

I had no idea what she was talking about. I was a lot of things but for Rosa to call me 'strong' was just out of context.

"I hate—I hate seeing him like this, it's never happened before. Now, I just don't know what to…Skye, God, help me…"

"Rosa, what did Leigh do? Did you guys break up? Did he do something stupid?" I pressed on.

"Break…up…?" Rosa croaked, sniffling while she wiped her nose with the back of her hand. "No, no Skye. Don't…don't you know?"

My brow creased in confusion and I swallowed. I had to face what was staring right at me: I knew nothing.

"No." I admitted softly, sounding more defeated than I hoped. "No, I don't."

"You're joking." Rosalya said, wiping her cheeks. She seemed to be gathering her composure again. "I thought…I thought you knew this whole time. The boys, we've been back for a while now…"

"Rosalya—"

"I thought this whole time you were just trying to be stronger for Lys, that—"

"Rosa." I snapped. "Just tell me." The bite in my tone was harsher than I thought and i instantly wanted to redo that, say that sentence all over again if I could.

"Skye, Leigh's mom—Lys's mom—she's…She's been. She's sick."

The words hung in the air like a dark cloud that loomed over us. I wasn't processing it properly. I wanted her to repeat that again maybe so it would get the gears in my brain working, but it just didn't register. The world did move on and time did pass, but my sense of it was becoming more and more unreliable. I wasn't sure how long I was silent—seconds, minutes maybe?

Again, more questions came. More conflicting ones, more that made me feel selfish for even asking but I couldn't help it.

What was going on?

Was she alright?

Realistically speaking, what would the turn out be?

I knew that Mr. and Mrs. Ainsworth weren't young. Leigh was a late child in their marriage and Lysander had followed soon after much to their luck. He would flippantly joke about his mother's old age being the reason for what he saw as his abnormalities—the hair, the eyes, to start with—but I never gave much thought about it. I liked those about Lys and his mother almost never came up.

From what I gathered from their stories, the boys didn't like to talk about it after the fall out that went on with their families that led to them leaving the countryside to move to Wesgrove. Neither Leigh nor Lys opened up to me—but God, what did I know? Rosa probably had a better understanding. She had been dating one of them for a while now. And to add to it, she was there over the break while I was here.

I stopped blaming Lysander about not wanting me with his family. That was too much of me to start feeling bad about. I stopped blaming him too for not communicating with me while he was gone, maybe I was just being selfish for expecting a couple of greetings, a hello maybe. Now I saw that I shouldn't have said anything at all. If this was going on with their family then I was in no place to want anything more.

But then the pressing question was still there, one that I wanted to ask with everything stirring in my mind. I wanted to know. Not to be adamant, but I pushed aside what I wanted too often. This was something that I wasn't sure if I could ignore anymore.

Why hadn't Lysander told me?

—-

The sun had already set when we were dismissed from our classes. The last one I had was one that normally was shared with Castiel. He had been attending it consistently before this spring semester started. In the fall his favorite hobby was being a distraction from what ever lesson was scheduled for the day and while I would snap and demand for him to stop, it was as if I wanted the exact opposite right now.

"Lys?" I said as we both walked in silence towards the parking lot.

Instead of replying, Lysander looked to be deep in thought. The ascot tied around his neck was undone, his buttons placed in the wrong order, his hair looking like it needed to be brushed down thoroughly before anything else.

"Lys." I repeated louder. This time, his attention had actually snapped to me again, finally.

"Hmm?"

"What's wrong? You've been…"

Distant?

Estranged?

…Gone?

"Wrong?" Lysander raised an eyebrow, finger brushing against his chin. "Nothing's wrong, Skylar."

"You always say that." I said. Nothing of me wanted to cry at this moment but I knew that the longer Lysander hid what was going on in his family life, the more I was on the risk of it.

Don't push it, Skye.

My conscience was always there to remind me.

But hadn't I kept enough to myself already?

Didn't I deserve to know at least even a small part of it? If we were really trying to start over, mend things between us…Shouldn't I at least know more about the boy that I wanted to be with?

Don't.

Don't do it. You're being nosy. You're being—

Ah. Fuck it.

"Lys, what's going on with your family?" I stopped in my tracks, my hands curling into balls. My nails digging into my palm was the only sensation I felt in my body.

Lysander turned when he found that I wasn't following him.

"Skylar, what are you…"

"Rosalya told me." I said, looking at him. "I know you're about to ask me what I'm talking about as if I'm crazy. I'm not crazy, I'm confused, Lys."

"Why would you be confused?" He asked me. There was something in his eyes—or rather, something wasn't. The light that I almost always caught looked dim.

"Why?" I asked him back. "Why? Lys, I don't know why you're keeping me in the dark but call me your best friend. And…And I…I don't want to impose it on you, force you to tell me these things but—But if you want to be with me and if I want to be with you, then I don't want to be compartmentalised, Lys. I don't want to be just a part of your life that you can put on a shelf and keep hidden from the rest of it, and vice versa with your family."

Lysander's lips closed into a thin line. His gaze left mine.

"I don't want to talk about it, Skylar."

Just like that, he kept on walking uphill.

My head was pounding. Whether I was already crying or not, even I couldn't be sure. All I knew was that Lysander was walking away from me, putting me off and on the shelf just like I feared.

I felt pathetic. But I didn't care anymore. The distance between us was growing both physically and emotionally. I was exhausted but like I said, I didn't care. I went after him anyway.

"Lys!" I called out to him. He didn't stop walking. Either he didn't hear me or he was choosing not to. I picked up my pace and stopped him short, standing right in his way. "Lys, I'm…I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that, I just—"

Lysander looked at me like I was a small animal that had come in his path. "You just what?"

"I just." I went on, swallowing down my feelings and trying to see things clearer. "I just want to be there, Lys. I want…I wanted to be there for you. That's what girlfriends are for, right? That's what—"

"Skylar." Lysander looked away from me this time. And now he seemed to be the defeated one. "You're forgetting again but you said it in front of that kid Kentin. You're not my girlfriend."

My body felt cold all over. Why was I struggling so much to understand?

Of course.

He didn't owe me anything. He didn't owe me an explanation.

I was just Skylar Whitman. His friend.

"Lys." I hung my head low. "You…You said you wanted…"

"Skylar, don't get me wrong." He stepped back from me, taking a deep breath. "I do still want this. But it's not there yet, I've fully accepted that. I've fully accepted that right now, you are not mine and I am not yours. Until that time then I will have to do things the way that I'm used to doing: on my own."

"Lysander, you say I'm your best friend." I swallowed. "You said I was more than that, you know I am. Even I know I am. Why are you treating me like I'm not?"

"Because you do mean more to me than you know." Lysander said. "And you're something good that I have. I don't want to mix up what's good in my life with the parts that are falling apart."

"Lys," I sounded like I was pleading already. "Lys, don't you get it? I'm not here only to see your good parts and make you forget the bad ones. I'm here to accept everything, to help you and not just be one side for you to turn to. I'm—"

"Skylar, you don't understand." Now Lysander was the one with the agonizing tone. I shut my mouth. "How could you possibly know how I feel or how I act when you don't understand?"

"Then help me understand!" My tears were warm against my face and my eyes were begging his own for some clarity that wasn't there.

"Skye." Lysander said. "For the first time in a long time, I have no words to explain. And nothing to say. I'm…I'm sorry."

We stood there facing each other, both of us refusing to look one another in the eye. Eventually Lysander offered me his hand, and I took it. It was the most he had showed me in a while that maybe he still felt something. He whispered again "I'm sorry" and kissed my fingers, then again my cheeks, my eyes and my forehead, all the while softly speaking his apology.

When I went to sleep that night, his were the last words I heard that swam around in my head.

"I'm sorry."

A/N: reviews reviews make my whole world go 'round, and I can't stress that enough! Yay!

Reply time:

1. Spark Firebug - Honestly, I wasn't expecting him to come in either! It was a total impulse thing! Hahaha

2. Madellane - I LOVE YOUR AJSDHFJDSFSDF REVIEWS! It really makes me feel like I'm having a super heated intense conversation with you! AHahahaha! Thank you so much for supporting me regarding that asshole guest that wanted me to do this fic the way they wanted me to. Of course I don't want to disappoint anyone but I don't want to bend over backwards a story I've obviously dedicated years of my life to! Tbh Kentin and Skye are something I wish I could explore but let's be real, that would just be a little crazy if that happened. Maybe I'll make an alternate ending hmm? People also have been asking for a Skye and Mason alternate ending. Aghh if Skye told Cas how she really felt and why her and Lys broke up (other than the fact that they rushed into their relationship)... well, basically that would just mean fireworks and wedding bells AHAHAHA! But of course, if I can avoid it, I like to avoid the easy route and that's probably what I'm going to be doing for Tongue Tied. I'm in here for the long haul and that's what I find so fun about it!

3. Carlitiable - thank you so much! And I love getting your reviews, so I'm glad you'll be sticking around for as long as you can! You're right though, as of now Skye's probably going crazy because her life is starting to suck. And just months before it seemed amazing! You know me, I hate taking the boring and easy way out. As much as possible, I like to keep everyone on their seats so I hope I can do this! I need prayers and blessings but I hope that at the end, I achieve that! Thank you!

4. HappyEpoch0987 - Oh my gosh, thank you thank you thank you! Honestly, I thought I would be called out on being terrible to that Guest reviewer but I'm so glad people agree. I really hope that other authors don't stop and keep going, following exactly what they want to write despite there still being people out there trying to bring them down. I'm so glad you think so and I'm just really happy that after years, Tongue Tied has become a bigger thing than I ever expected. And while my personal life might not be the greatest thing in the world, I'm just glad that I have this community and such supportive readers that I can immerse myself in and get away from all of that. Also, I think the best thing is knowing that Skye is a character that you can relate to! I always feared making a typical "Mary Sue" character so I'm glad she's not turning into one! (Please hit me in the head if that happens). Even I'm in conflict just trying to help her come to terms with her life. And then there's Deborah ruining everything, and Kentin thinking he can fix things without knowing what' she's going through. Thank you!

5. Blueberrytears - You've officially inspired me to make an alternate ending with Skye and Mason. Maybe after Tongue Tied, I'll have a one shot out! And since you're saying that, I should let you know that on my tumblr I'm working on an art of Skye and Mason together so hopefully when that's done, you'll like it! Skye is too lucky with all these gorgeous guys, and Ken is just ajshfjsdf he's like an escape from the mess she finds herself in! Of course, will she take him and the easy way out, I guess you'll have to read and see. And I love your craziness in this review, I'm so glad! Mwah mwah mwah enjoy your day, you deserve one just as sweet as you!

6. ANinjasGirl - Ahhhh thank you! For leaving a review, and for that piece of advice. Things will get better, you're right. I needed that. And yes, I was expecting someone to hate on Kentin because he's such an obvious easy choice. Skye is standing in her own grave and Kentin seems like the fastest way out of it! But then again, taking the easy route of the story wouldn't be too interesting would it? And I love interesting! So if Kentin gets really in the story, I promise a twist. Thanks again love!

7. MisaxMisa - hi! I really hope that my PM helped you out there! I'm sorry that I haven't updated this on time when I should have. I've just been so busy with school but hopefully I can get it all out of the way and fix it. Thank you again and I hope you keep on reading!

8. Hannah - AJSHFJSDF KENTIN HAS ARRIVED and Skye is still a mess ahahahahaha! Thanks for reviewing btw!

10. BeautyOfSunlight - Awww bb yes and it makes me sad that the hug can't happen for real! I'm glad you stepped out from the shadows for a bit just to send a long review, it really does cheer me up to no end. And no worries about the username, I've changed mine too if you've noticed! After 4 long years I'm no longer "lostconcoctions" on FF...though there's still my MCL account. Also, for some reason I think this site is down and it won't let me read your whole review-I can only see the email version which has been cut off! Aghh this sucks. I promise to get to that and update this when it gets fixed up again, so keep a heads up for that please! But getting back to the parts I can actually see, yes Skye's world seems like a terrible place to live in. But you're right about things taking a turn for the worst and Castiel was already having his foot out the door while Lysander and her are just getting more distant because...Well, how do you bounce back from that, right? But well, this is where the review stops in my email. I will update this, I promise you! I'm sorry :( Wahh kisses :*