New Moon Rewound
Disclaimer: All the characters in the story are the property of Stephanie Meyer. I have borrowed them for my entertainment and (hopefully) your reading pleasure. I make no profit from their use.
Author's Note: Some of you reviewers really caught me on some "wolf mistakes" in the last chapter. There is nothing that will affect the storyline moving forward, so I will be making corrections to Chapter 36 in the next couple of days. I will let you know when I have.
Chapter 37: New Home
Returning home from Cullens was one of the worst shocks of my life. I walked in the house with the leftover lasagna. Charlie was in the living room staring at the television. I didn't even think he noticed me until he called me.
"Is that you, Bells?" he asked bluntly.
"Yeah, Dad," I answered. "Esme sent lasagna. Should I heat some up for you?"
"Sure and get me a beer," he said grumpily. "And no lip about it."
"Okay," I said uncertainly and not quite understanding the hostility in his tone.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Bella," Alice said. "We'll pick you up at the usual time."
"Bella can drive herself to school!" Charlie yelled out.
Alice shrugs and leaves. I am just about to bring Charlie his beer when he charges into the kitchen nearly running me down. He grabs the beer can from me and sits down at the table.
"Sit down, young lady!" he orders.
So I sat and listened quietly as he hollered at me for twenty minutes straight about how the Cullens were controlling me. Edward was the worst thing that ever happened to me. Billy had called Renee because he was so worried about Charlie and me. They both thought that the Cullens were up to no good and that they were sucking up to Charlie so that they could turn him against his friends just like they had turned me.
Then he informed me that I had to drive myself to school, spend less time with Edward and the Cullens and more time with other folks in town, and lastly, like it or not, I was going to La Push with him on Saturday, alone. Billy did not want any Cullens near the reservation. He didn't trust them. Blah, blah, blah, blah.
Once the insults started, I tuned him out and hoped that Edward, or even Alice would be waiting for me when I got up to my room. When the lasagna was done heating, I threw it down in front of him. Then, fifteen minutes later, when he showed no sign of letting up and was starting to repeat himself, I got up quietly. I got another beer for him from the fridge and went up to my room while he was still in mid-rant.
Alice was waiting for me because Edward was still out scouting with the other men. She insisted that I shower before I said anything because she knew once I started, I wouldn't be able to stop. I was done in about five minutes and she started to comb out my hair as I went on my own rant.
She mostly let me rant, occasionally murmuring responses. She must have known what was coming because she tossed me my phone and ran into the closet. I was pretending to rant into the phone when Charlie burst it. Then I let him have it. I tore apart his arguments, finishing with my ultimate trump card. I'm eighteen and I can live wherever I want.
He had already heard me ask Alice if Esme would let me stay with them. I think that, that was what brought him upstairs in the first place. He looked shocked, but didn't say anything. He went stomping down the stairs and I heard the refrigerator door open for what was probably beer number four or five. Then Alice came back and held me in her arms until Edward came.
The story came out in bits and pieces. Since Alice had already given him the broad outline through her thoughts, I was just filling in the details. He assured me at one point that we were safe because Emmett and Rosalie were watching the house from the outside. It was a totally unnecessary precaution, but knowing they were there helped me feel better. When I was done, I just collapsed in his arms.
At first I didn't want to go to sleep, but Edward insisted. And after lying there in his arms as he sang me to sleep it was impossible not to relax. I thought that I was going to have a nightmare, but I was wrong. I probably dreamed, but I don't remember it. When I woke up, the pale light was coming in the window. I could see the sunrise coming over the mountains. It was going to be a sunny day. Could my luck get any worse?
"The Cullens are going camping today?" I ask fearfully.
Edward looks back at me seriously.
"They will say that they are, but they are all going to stay home to help you move in," he replies.
"Charlie is awake?" I ask regretfully. "And he hasn't changed his mind?"
"Yes, he's awake. No, he hasn't changed his mind," he answers. "He is determined to see if you really mean what you say about moving. And he will not relent. He seems pretty sure that if he takes a hard line with you that you will back down. That's what Renee and Billy both told him."
"How do you know that I won't?" I ask.
"Alice," he says simply. "Based on the information that she has, you won't back down. Unless you change your mind after you listen to him you are going to move out."
"I can't let him run my life anymore," I say. "I know that it's going to hurt him, but I have to start making my own decisions. I don't see why he suddenly changed his mind."
"It wasn't a complete 180," he replies. "I was on probation, which meant that he was on the fence. Billy and Renee verbalized some of the things that had been worrying him. You have to realize that Charlie may be stubborn, but it doesn't take much to sway him if he is already inclined in a direction."
"I should get ready for school," I say. "But I suppose that I won't be going. I don't know anymore."
"Yes, you should get ready and I need to leave," he answers.
"Will you stay and help me pack?" I ask.
"That is probably not a good idea," he says. "If you need help packing, call Esme and she will come over and help you. Are you free to take the truck?"
"I assume so," I say. "Why do you ask?"
"Whose name is it in and who pays the insurance?" he asks.
"It's my name on the registration," I reply. "But Charlie pays the insurance. Why?"
"He may not think of it right away, but if he cancels the insurance, you can't drive it," he says. "Why don't you call up Esme anyway and she can drive over in the Mercedes?"
"What about the sun?" I ask.
"She can cover up except for her face," he says. "She can wear a wide-brimmed hat. But don't worry. She's done it before. Are you having second thoughts?"
"No," I say. "Maybe I can bring him around."
"You can try," he says doubtfully. "But don't get into a fight and say anything that could make reconciliation difficult later. Just because you move out, it doesn't mean the end of your relationship."
"Okay," I say.
He pulls me close to him and gives me a sweet, tender kiss.
"And remember I love you," he says.
"I love you too, always," I answer as I pick up my things and go to the bathroom.
I take as long as I dare, but I know that I need to face before he leaves for work. I need to give him a chance to say what he needs to. When I go downstairs, he is sitting and staring into space, his uneaten breakfast in front of him.
"Good morning, Dad," I say hesitantly from the door.
"Good morning, Bells," he says. "Have you decided to come around?"
"Define 'come around,'" I say to put off answering.
"Okay, you will drive yourself back and forth to school," he says. "And you will socialize with more people in town than just the Cullens. That means that you will come to Billy's with me on Saturday."
"Billy doesn't live in town," I reply splitting hairs.
"You know what I mean," he says sharply.
"I agree to drive myself back and forth to school," I answer bravely. "But you can't make me socialize with anyone that I don't want to."
"Then you're grounded," he says.
"For what?" I ask outraged, but trying to tamp down the fury starting to rise in me. "I haven't done anything wrong."
"Because I said so," he answers in annoyance.
"I'm too old for you to give me that answer," I say. "And I'm too old for you to ground. I'm eighteen and I'm free to go wherever I want."
"What makes you even think that the Cullens even want you?" he asks obstinately.
"I talked to Alice this morning and Esme said that I'm welcome to stay there for as long as I want," I reply.
"So you went to them behind my back?" he asks.
"I called up my best friend and asked her if I could stay with them until you decided to treat me like the legal adult that I am," I say. "I'm going upstairs to pack."
"Don't even think about taking the truck," he says. "I'm going to cancel the insurance and if you try to drive it I will have it impounded."
"Esme will come and pick me up," I say, holding back the tears. "I know she will."
"Bella, don't do this," he says. "Don't let him break up our family."
I feel sorry for him because he really looks anguished, but I have to say it.
"Dad, for as long as I can remember, our family has been broken up," I answer. "You know, the Cullens have been trying to help bring us together, at least you and me. But obviously Billy and Renee's opinions mean more to you than theirs or mine. I think that we need some time apart."
"So you're not leaving for good?" he asks.
"I don't know," I say. "But I'll only come back if we can work things out. And part of that means that you have to accept Edward and his family as an important part of my life and you don't force me to go anywhere that I don't want to go. You also can't ground me, especially since I have done nothing wrong."
"What if I want to talk to you?" he asks.
"You have my cell phone number," I say, omitting the fact that he can't take that away from me. "We can always meet somewhere. Dad, I'm not trying to leave your life completely. But right now, it feels like we can't talk to each other rationally."
"We are now," he points out.
"We are both avoiding the hard issues," I say, wondering if Jasper isn't hiding around outside. "But I think that if we open up any of those topics, we'll start yelling."
"You're probably right," he says almost mournfully. "I suppose that you'll be gone by the time I get home."
"I don't have that much to pack," I say, trying not to let him get at my emotions. "I'll probably be gone very quickly."
"Will you call me at the station when you get to Cullens?" he asks, looking lost and defeated.
"Yes, I will," I answer. "I love you, Dad."
"Me too, Bells," he answers. "Me too."
As soon as he leaves I go upstairs where Alice is waiting for me, everything packed.
"Jasper was outside the whole time," she says. "Esme is around the corner with the car, no she's out in front. Let's get you out of here."
"Okay," I say confused.
Esme suddenly appears in the room and Jasper pops in through the window. We grab my stuff and it's loaded into the car in seconds. Then Esme pulls away with Alice and me in the car. The minute that we get out of town, she floors it.
"We're okay, Esme," Alice says. "Bella's future is back."
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"About twenty minutes ago, probably when you were talking to Charlie, your future disappeared," she answers. "I think that it meant he decided to call Billy and the wolves were going to get you to La Push before we could get you out. So we made a preemptive strike."
"Could they have gotten there that quickly?" I ask.
"The minute Charlie gets to work, he's going to call Billy," she says. "I can see it clearly now. I can only guess at the rest because it involves the wolves."
"That would be kidnapping!" I gasp.
"Only if Charlie, who happens to be the law, decided it was and filed a report," she says. "If given the choice between having you with us or at La Push, what do you think that he would have chosen?"
"At this particular moment?" I ask. "La Push."
"We'll keep you safe, Bella," Esme says. "And if Charlie wants to visit you, he can. Tomorrow when the weather is cloudy, Carlisle is going to call up Dr. Weber and see if he won't mediate a truce between you and Charlie."
"Why Dr. Weber?" I ask.
"You need an impartial third party," she says. "There are too many people around who have a stake in your decision. Charlie already knows that Dr. Weber has asked that you and Edward do pre-marital counseling with him. Carlisle checked online. He has a degree in family counseling as well as theology."
"I'm not going home," I say.
"I know that," Alice says. "I can see it. We are just trying to save your relationship with Charlie. It will be the best thing for both of you if you can at least make peace with each other."
"Cheer up!" Esme says. "I prepared our spare room for you. I know that you probably won't sleep there, but it has all the props in place in case Charlie wants to visit and see where you're living. Besides, I don't think that you could cram one more thing into Edward's room."
"Neither do I," I answer with a little smile.
When we pull up to the house, everyone is waiting there to greet me. Edward immediately pulls me up into a big hug, while Emmett and Jasper grab my stuff out of the trunk.
"Hey, Rose!" Emmett yells. "I wouldn't to be accused of being sexist. Do you think that you women could help?"
With a flip of her hair, Rosalie grabs the biggest suitcase and goes off into the house, with Emmett, Jasper, and Alice right behind her.
"Are you all right, Bella?" Carlisle asks.
"I'm going to be okay, I think," I answer. "But what happened to looking for Victoria?"
"Victoria can wait for another day," Carlisle says. "If you are here then I hardly then that she is going to try and get past seven of us. And we all want to be here to support you. We know that you made a very tough decision this morning."
"Yeah, but I told Charlie that I wanted to stay in touch," I say. "I said that I wanted to try and fix things."
"Good," Rosalie says coming forward to give me a hug. "That's the offer you made me and look where we are today. May be same thing could happen for you and Charlie."
"I hope so," I say. "I guess that I should go upstairs and unpack."
"Too late," Jasper says from the porch. "Alice kicked us all out so that she could do it."
"Uh, oh," I say. "And I suppose that she is decorating my bedroom too?"
"It's not worth it, Bella," Edward says. "She started as soon as she knew that I were coming."
"Figures," I say.
"Let's go inside so that I can get you some tea," Esme says.
"Great," I say. "But I also need some breakfast. I haven't eaten anything since last night's lasagna."
"I know," she says. "I'll have the blueberry pancakes up in a minute. Come into the dining room."
Edward leads me inside, where the others are already waiting.
"We want to have a family meeting about this," Carlisle explains. "I think that Edward told you that this is where we meet."
I nod, as Esme brings out her tea tray.
"The pancakes will be up in a minute," she says. "Unfortunately, human food doesn't cook at vampire speed."
"Bella, you need to call yourself in sick for school today," Carlisle says. "And tomorrow you will have to go to the office and change all of your information for address, contacts, etc. you need to send all school correspondence here, or get a post office box in town."
"Which do you think would be better?" I ask.
"A post office box," he says. "That way things won't seem so permanent. You should also call Renee."
"She doesn't have to," Alice says. "Charlie is going to call her. I don't know when, but I'm guessing that it's after Billy tells him that you moved out already."
"Is Renee going to call me?" I ask.
"I don't know," she says. "But considering your emotional state, it might be a good idea to let it go to voice mail."
"My emotional state is fine," I say.
"No it's not," Jasper says. "You are very upset, but you're holding it all in because you don't want to upset us. Am I right?"
"Yes," I admit. "I'm going to call Mrs. Cope. And I promised Charlie that I would call when I got here."
"Good idea," Edward says.
That way they can all talk about me while I'm not there. I really wish that I knew what was up with them. I feel like there's something that they're not telling me. But it's impossible to eavesdrop on vampires. They just talk too fast. Mrs. Cope accepts my explanation that I am out for personal reasons.
Then she tells me to stop at the office tomorrow to change my contact information. I call Charlie, but he's on the phone, so I leave a message that I am safely at Cullens. I resist the temptation to say that I left my house keys and truck keys on the kitchen table. That would only rub it in further.
"The rumor mill in town is up and running well," I say when I return to the others. "Mrs. Cope already knew I moved out. Those pancakes look great."
"Well, eat up," Carlisle says. "You need to raise your blood sugar. That may be why you look so weary."
I shrug. I still haven't truly realized that I just walked out on Charlie for the second time in six months. At least this time I didn't leave town completely and I left the door open for us to repair things. Then I think of something.
"Even if I fix things up with Charlie I don't want to move back there," I say. "I think that we would end up fighting again over something else. I also think that he's a lot safer if I'm not there."
"She's right, you know," Alice says. "Once Victoria learns that she isn't at Charlie's house anymore, she will stay away from there. It actually might be safer for the whole town if Bella is here."
"And it would be safer for everyone if I weren't even in Forks," I say. "Then the wolves wouldn't have anyone to chase. You would be gone and Victoria would follow us to get to me."
"I think that we need to stay here until you make peace with Charlie," Esme says quickly cutting me off. "I don't have to be Alice to know that he's completely miserable right now."
"I wish there was someone that I could call to find out," I ask.
"As far as we know, his closest friends are all Quileutes," Edward says.
Suddenly my phone buzzes.
"Renee," I say looking at the caller ID, but then then it vanishes from my sight.
"Sorry," Alice says. "You were going to answer it. Esme will hold onto it until you're ready to call her back."
"You're all treating me like a child!" I say, my frustrated emotions suddenly bursting forth. "This is almost as bad as Charlie! So far I haven't been able to make one single decision for myself."
"Bella!" Jasper says.
"Stop it!" I yell. "I want to feel angry. I want to cry! I want to . . . feel! Stop trying to control me to make me happy! I know that you're doing it because you love me, but I just . . . "
That's when I break down and begin to cry. Edward pulls me into his lap and holds me.
"Cry all you want, love," he says softly. "Let it all out."
And I do. I hold on tight and cry as loud as I want. I am vaguely aware that everyone else has gotten up from the table. Then Edward lifts me up and carries me to his room where he sets me on the bed and I curl up in a ball and just wail like a baby. I have finally had enough.
Between nightmares and daymares, Lauren's bitchiness, Rosalie's tantrum, wolves chasing after Edward and I, Billy's interference, Renee on the warpath, Charlie caught in the middle, unable to decide whose side he is on, I am just done. Edward sits beside me, patient as ever, not making a sound. Occasionally, I can feel his cool hand rubbing my back or stroking my hair, all to sooth me.
I can't stand it anymore. I just want to run away from it all. I want to be with Edward and not have to deal with anyone else, even his family. After a while, I turn over and lay my head in his lap and hold on tight. The tears are still flowing, but I am sobbing quietly now. The worst of it is over. Slowly I am able to steady my breathing and gulp back the tears. I sit up and look into his beautiful amber-colored eyes.
"Hey, beautiful!" he says softly. "Is the monsoon over?"
"For a while I think," I say. "Did I chase everyone away? Did I scare them?"
"You didn't scare, anyone," he says. "If anything, they are jealous. Vampires can't cry like that. They can cry of course, but there are no tears. There is something that is very healing about being able to cry tears, to express your sorrow in such a powerful way."
"What do vampires do?" I ask. "When they are so sad and angry?"
"They sit very still and don't move, unless they're Rosalie and then they throw a huge hissy fit," he answers with a smile. "It's not nearly as satisfying as a good cry."
We sit in silence for a while. I feel safe in his arms, always safe. For now, I am finding the stillness of my vampire very peaceful. I think of the Crumbling Cottage out in the woods and wish that we could go there a while, just the two of us.
"Bella," he says. "Esme wants to come up and talk to you. They've been very worried about you. I think that she is kind of a representative. Would that be okay with you?"
"Sure," I answer, thinking that next to Edward, Esme is my favorite of all the Cullens.
"You can come up Esme," Edward says in a normal tone of voice.
Esme is in the room in seconds and sits down on the bed across from us.
"How are you feeling, Bella?" she asks gently. "Could you talk with me a little? You don't have to unless you want to."
"Sure, I'll talk," I say. "I'm sorry that I cause so much upset."
"Dear girl, it was I who came up to apologize to you," she says. "We were are so concerned for your safety that we took all control of your life away from you. Then we sat down and had a conference about your life, almost as if you weren't there. We started hitting you with questions and suggestions too quickly. I guess for a minute we forgot that you are not a vampire yet and can't process things as quickly as we can."
"That's Carlisle's insight, isn't it?" I ask.
"Yes, it is," she says. "We were focused on you all night. After Alice came home and told us about your argument with Charlie, we were very worried. I hope that you understand that we are not trying to control whoever you want to see or talk to.
"And Alice only wanted you to know that you are welcome here when she did the room. It's just that we understand the danger that the wolves are to you. I know that if we could tell Charlie the danger that you are in, he would only want you to be safe."
"If you tried to explain the Charlie about vampires seeking revenge and werewolves guarding La Push against vampires, he would lock you up," I reply smiling wanly. "If I tried to tell him any of that he would lock me up. But I didn't even leave because of that. I left because he was trying to run my life as if I was still a child. But then when I got here, I thought that you were treating me like a child too."
"I apologize," Esme says. "But I always think of my sons and daughters as children. And like any parent, I want to do everything that I can to keep them safe and from hurting. In his own way, Charlie is trying to do the same thing. The most difficult thing for him is that he is so unsure of himself, especially with regard to you, that he lets himself be swayed by whoever is speaking to him."
"I hate hurting him," I say.
"So do I," Edward says. "I've grown to like Charlie very much, mostly because of how much he loves you. It makes me angry that Billy and Renee are manipulating him and he is the one who has ended up hurt. Billy's game, so to speak has everything to do with us, and getting us away from here, while leaving you behind. I have no idea of Renee's motives."
"Renee always makes whatever decisions are best for her," I sigh. "And that's the way it's always been. But she's more like a child than an adult. She has no impulse control and the idea of delayed gratification is not in her vocabulary. I think that she really believed it when I said that I was going back to Phoenix because I was fed up with Forks.
"The timing was perfect for her because they had just gotten the word that they would be living in Jacksonville. She made up her mind and did not like it when I changed mine. But you're right. Renee pushed Charlie to the point where he probably said a lot of things to me that he didn't mean. I know that she and Billy put a lot of those words in his mouth."
"I wasn't there so I don't know," Edward says. "Jasper told me that he was angry from the time he woke up. He and Alice ran back to help you this morning after I got home. Jasper used a great deal of energy to calm him. But you weren't angry. He said that you were both scared and sad. He really wasn't giving you any help with your emotions back at Charlie's. That was all you."
"That's good to know," I say. "So I really had more control than I thought."
"Bella," Esme says seriously. "In that situation, you had all the power. You were old enough to walk out on him if he refused to be reasonable. You made a threat and then you carried it out. You even gave him the night to think it over. The choice to leave was yours, not his. And you didn't shut the door on him. He can come back into your life, but he can longer control it. It took a great deal of strength and maturity to do that."
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"The easy way out," she explains. "Would have been to walk away and tell him that you never wanted to speak to him again. You could have shut down all the lines of communication and made a complete break. That would have freed you from ever worrying about him again.
"By leaving the door open, you may have some more difficult conversations with him in the future. But there is still a way to find a point of resolution to these conflicts now. If you want to manage this by yourself, then we completely respect that. But we want you to know that we are here for you when you need us."
"Thank you," I say. "I'm ready to come downstairs. Could you make me some tea? My throat is sore."
"Of course dear, all that crying will do that to a human," she says. "But it's already one, can I make you lunch as well? What can I make you?"
"It's already one?" I ask sitting by myself.
"You were crying for a long time, love," Edward says. "But you needed to. Are you hungry?"
"Actually, I am," I admit. "Can you make me some soup?"
"Of course," she says. "How does chicken sound?"
"It sounds good," I say.
As I get my bearings, I suddenly realize something.
"I need a human moment, Edward," I say.
"Of course," he says. "Shall I meet you downstairs?"
I nod and go off to the bathroom. I wash my face and realize that I look like hell. But the Jacuzzi sure looks good. Maybe I can have a relaxing bath after lunch. Then I go in search of my new room to get my hairbrush. I find that Esme has turned her sewing room into my room. I know it's mine because my things are around, but I groan when I see it. It's very pink. Alice!
When I go downstairs, I follow the smell of chicken soup into the kitchen and take a seat at the breakfast bar next to Edward. Esme turns around with my tea.
"I see that you found your things," she says, looking at my hair. "How do you like your room?"
I decide to start off diplomatically.
"Esme, you didn't have to give me your sewing room," I say.
"It's nothing," she says. "It has more light than the other room. And as you know, light doesn't really affect me. Um, how did you like the decor?"
"Alice?" I ask tentatively.
"Yes, Alice did when she saw you were coming," she says. "But you didn't answer my question."
"Well, uh, it's a little too pink," I say hesitantly.
She and Edward look at each other and laugh.
"Did she pack my bed set that you gave me?" I ask. "I really like those colors. Would she be offended if I wanted to redecorate?"
"No, she won't," Esme assures me. "I already told her that you wouldn't like it. Would you like me to help you pick some things out to accessorize it?"
"I'll paint the walls any color you like," Edward offers.
"Yeah," I say. "That would be great. Where is everyone else?"
"Carlisle had an emergency at the hospital," Esme says. "And the others went out into the woods. They may do a little hunting, but they also want to check things out. It's much to early for Victoria to realize that you've moved in here."
"Did Renee call again?" I ask.
"Do you really want to know?" Esme asks.
As she holds up the phone I see that she has left at least a dozen voice mails. I groan again.
"Bella," Edward says. "If you don't want to listen to them, I will delete them now. I'm sure if you call her up she's going to say the same thing anyway."
"I'm sure that these all say the same thing too," I say. "Just delete them. I can call her after I've eaten my lunch."
Esme sets out my soup, which smells delicious, and some freshly baked bread and butter.
"Let me know if you want anything else," she says. "As you know I have lots of props here, but I can always stock your favorites, just give me a list."
"Sure, thanks," I say.
"It's no big deal," she answers. "It will be nice to actually shop for someone. And don't worry about the smell of cooking. Edward and I don't mind and the others can go out if they don't like it."
"Is that why they're out now?" I ask.
"No, Carlisle decided that you needed some space to cope with your most recent change," she replies. "So we decided that it would be best for you to spend the afternoon with Edward and me. I know that this is a new concept for you, but we really do things by committee in the family."
"No one is treating you like a child," Edward says. "Although it may feel like that. It's just that we tend to work together as a unit rather than as individuals."
"Did you all decide that Alice should design my bedroom?" I ask.
"No, she took that upon herself," Esme says. "And it's a good example of what happens when someone tries to do something, even if they mean well, without consulting the others."
"If we had known," Edward asks. "We would have stopped her."
"Edward actually wasn't here when she did it," Esme says. "Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper would have stopped her but they were too worried about you and making contingency plans. And you shouldn't look so surprised every time Rosalie takes your part or encourages you. You won't always agree, but taken advantage of her good will while it lasts."
"What should I say to Renee?" I ask as I sop the last of my soup up with my bread."
"It's your choice, obviously," Edward says. "But when she finishes yelling, you should remind her that you're eighteen and free to do what you want. Then tell her the same thing that you told Charlie. You are leaving the door open in case she wants to have a rational conversation with you."
"And tell her that you love her," Esme adds. "Because you do. But don't fight with her. You know that it's pointless."
"I know," I say. "I suppose that I should get this over with."
"Are you ready for it?" Edward asks.
"I'll never be ready for it," I answer. "But if I don't call her now, I'm going to worry about it until I do."
"That's very true," Esme agrees. "Would you like some privacy?"
"No, actually," I say. "I would like some support."
Edward hands me the phone and I see that he has cleared all the voice mails. I take a deep breath and press Renee's contact number.
"So, Bella!" Renee says. "I see that you finally decided to call. Did you get my voice mails?"
"Yes, I did Mom," I say vaguely because I got them but didn't listen to them.
Then the rant begins.
"How could you do this to Charlie?" she shouts. "Do you know that he is heartbroken? I have never heard him sound so depressed. And after all he's done for you! It's this boy and his family that's turned you against us! Oh, I know that they tried to buy off Charlie with those meals, but it didn't work!
"Billy called me yesterday with the news that they had manipulated you to the point where you wouldn't even go to a gathering of Charlie's friends without Edward! And Billy has every right not to invite anyone that he doesn't want into his home. But you are so smitten with him that all of the sudden, he's the only one that matters to you."
"Mom, Edward and I are engaged to be married," I say quietly. "I have every right to put him first."
"You're not engaged until I say you're engaged!" she yells back. "You are too young to get married."
"I'm eighteen and this is a decision that I can make for myself," I answer calmly. "You don't get to have any more say over my life than anyone else."
"How could you move out on Charlie?" she asks, switching back to her guilt argument. "How can you leave him to fend for himself?"
"You did," I point out. "When I was still an infant. And you didn't care who was going to take care of Charlie when you wanted me to move to Jacksonville in the spring."
"Well you certainly didn't go back to Forks for Charlie!" she shouts, going back to the anti-Edward argument. "You only went back to be with him!"
"Mom, please listen," I say. "I know that you won't understand, but I'm going to say it anyway. My relationship with Charlie stopped being your business when you divorced him. And he is perfectly capable of taking care of himself without you or Billy Black interfering. Charlie and I said a lot of things to each other last night that weren't very nice. We need some space, some time apart.
"I told Charlie that I was willing to talk to him whenever he was ready to have a rational conversation with me. I know that I've hurt Charlie. But he's hurt me too. He knows how I feel about Edward and he was even getting to really like him. That is until you and Billy started to interfere and put this whole mess in motion. And I don't exactly see you coming up here to hold Charlie's hand."
"Everything about you is my business," she says. "That makes Charlie and him my business."
"Mom, please, I think that we should end this conversation before one of us says something that she might regret," I say calmly.
"Is that a threat?" she asks.
Oh, Lord! Give me strength! She never gives up!
"Mom," I repeat. "This conversation is over. Call me back when you have your emotions under control."
"This conversation isn't over until . . . "
I can't take it anymore. I turn the phone off and throw it on the counter. Almost immediately it starts to buzz.
"Please turn the power off," I ask, putting my head in my hands. "She's just out of control."
"Yes, she is," Esme answers as she begins to stroke my hair. "That is her problem right now. She is out of control of the situation and therefore her emotions are out of control. It's kind of like how you felt this morning, only twenty times worse. You knew we would listen to you. She knows that you won't listen to her."
"I know that you want me to make peace with both of my parents," I say. "But I don't think that Renee is going to come around."
"I'm not sure that she will either," Esme says. "But I'm also not sure that she won't."
"Maybe she'll give you the silent treatment again," Edward asks.
"No, I'm afraid that she has figured out that the silent treatment won't work," I say. "She's giving me the harassment treatment now."
"Well you did a very good job of not saying anything to antagonize her," Esme praises me. "You didn't get sarcastic with her and you kept your tone even. I suspect that was as annoying as anything else. She was spoiling for a fight and you didn't give her the satisfaction."
"On a lighter note," Edward says. "Can I play the piano for you?"
"Thanks, but I would really like to start working on my room," I say. "I need something to keep my mind busy."
"Okay," Esme says. "I have enough fabric left over from the bedding to make some drapes. And we can look at some of the other things in there. We have an attic full of furniture over the years that I've acquired, but we don't use in every house."
"I don't know how Jasper stands living in that room with her," Edward comments.
"Jasper loves her," Esme points out. "If it makes her happy, it makes him happy. Do you understand?"
"Yes, of course," he says. "What color paint do you want? We have a supply on the basement, but I can mix a color if we don't have what you want."
"Is there anything that you can't do?" I ask him.
"I can't make Charlie and Renee come around," he says sadly. "But what will it be first, paint or attic?"
"Why don't we start in the room and see how it goes from there?" I suggest.
"Good choice," says Esme and putting her arm around my waist, leads me upstairs.
On the way up, I stop in front of Carlisle's cross.
"Edward," I say. "Does this cross make you nervous?"
"What do you mean?" he asks.
"You said before that crosses make you nervous," I say.
He looks at the cross thoughtfully for a moment.
"It's a funny thing, I guess," he says. "But this cross has never made me nervous. I've just always viewed it as a relic from Carlisle's past. And nothing about Carlisle has ever made me nervous."
"It doesn't make me anxious at all," I say. "In fact, it's kind of comforting."
"Yes, I agree with you," he says. "Comforting."
When we go up to my room, even though we are talking about colors and furnishings, my mind can't completely get away from thoughts of my father and the fact that I have really moved out on him. Edward must have sensed this, because at one time he pulls me into his arms and holds me tight.
"Everything is going to be all right, love," he whispers in my ear. "If I have to, I will move heaven and earth to make sure that this comes right again."