Chapter 36 I'm Okay, You're Okay, We're Okay

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, alas.

Lily walked slowly back to her dormitory still trying to process the fact that Remus, her friend, who she had known for almost seven years, was a werewolf. She was starting to feel somewhat guilty for asking James and not Remus directly. James was right, it wasn't his secret to tell. If there was one thing she knew about James it was that he was loyal. She was glad that she and James had a free period in the morning.

"Hey, Lily," Mary said cautiously as Lily walked into the dorm room.

"Are you okay?" Marlene asked.

"Do you want us to hex him for you?" Katie asked holding up her wand threateningly.

"I'm okay, now," Lily said. "And no, Katie there is no need to hex anyone."

"What did Remus say that had you and James fighting?" Abby asked.

'Keep your lies vague,' Remus had said.

"Nothing. It was stupid," Lily said.

"It didn't seem like nothing or like you thought it was stupid half an hour ago," Marlene said.

Lily sighed. "It was, the whole thing just got blown way out of proportion."

"He didn't break up with you and you didn't break up with him?" Marlene asked.

"No," Lily said relief evident in her voice.

"Nobody cheated on anybody?" Katie added.

"WHAT? NO!" Lily replied surprised at the rise in her own voice.

"James would never, I wouldn't," Lily looked at Katie like she had lost her mind.

"Good," Katie said. "I would hate to have to kill him."

Lily rolled her eyes.

"Look I'm exhausted. I'm going to bed," Lily said grabbing her pajamas and heading off to the bathroom to brush her teeth.

Lily awoke the next morning feeling like she had barely slept. Between worrying about her fight with James and trying to process the fact that Remus was a werewolf she had spent a lot more of the night tossing and turning than actually sleeping.

When Lily entered the Common Room with her friends the next morning James was already there waiting for her.

"Morning," he said quietly.

Lily looked at James and was taken aback by the array of emotion that seemed to be in his eyes. He definitely lacked his usual happy demeanor. He looked nervous and sad and guilty. Like he could do with one of those Pensieve things that Professor Flitwick had been talking about in class the other day.

"Morning," Lily replied wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head against his chest. "Are you alright?" she asked quietly.

"I was going to ask you the same thing," James said wrapping his arms around her in response.

"I'm feeling a bit better," she said, "But I want to know about you."

"A little better," he said.

"Good," Lily said standing up on her tip toes to give him a quick kiss.

James smiled slightly.

"We can talk during our free period?" he asked.

"Yeah," Lily said. "I'm really sorry," she added.

"No, I'm sorry," James said.

"No, James. I'm the one who should be sorry," Lily began.

"Yes, you are both sorry. Are you two coming to breakfast or shall we leave without you?" Sirius asked joining Lily's friends followed closely behind by Remus and Peter.

Remus eyed Lily nervously but she smiled back reassuringly.

Lily looked at James who rolled his eyes at Sirius.

"Shall we?" he asked her.

"Yes," Lily said.

As they walked to the Great Hall with their friends James took Lily's hand in his. Lily gave him a small smile and he couldn't help but smile back. Merlin, he didn't know what he would do without her. Despite her reassurances the night before he hadn't been able to stop worrying resulting in his not sleeping well despite being completely exhausted.

Their free period could not come soon enough. Thank goodness that they didn't have a double lesson that morning. James didn't think he would have made it even if Transfiguration was his favorite subject.

After Transfiguration Lily and James headed off to the Head's Common Room.

James dropped his bag on one of the chairs and collapsed on the couch. Lily threw her bag on top of James's and sat down next to him.

"So," James started.

"James," Lily began.

They both laughed though not as much as they might normally have.

"You go first," James said.

"Alright," Lily agreed.

"James, I am so sorry," Lily began.

"You don't have to be sorry…"

"James, don't interrupt," Lily cut him off.

"I am sorry. I'm sorry I put you in that position. It never even occurred to me that I was asking you about someone else's secret. I was just so focused on hoping you would tell me it wasn't true that it never occurred to me that you weren't the person I should be asking."

"You were hoping I would tell you it wasn't true?" James asked confused. "But I did tell you it wasn't true."

"I know. And I wanted to believe you but I just couldn't. I've always thought of you as a good liar to be honest," Lily said.

James snorted, "I'm not sure how to take that."

"Yeah, well. All those times you and Sirius have managed to talk your way out of trouble," she said by way of an explanation.

"But when you told me I was wrong, well I could tell you were trying to be convincing but I knew you were lying. Maybe I've just gotten to know you better. But I could just tell," Lily explained.

"I'm sorry," James said. "I'm sorry I lied."

"No, I understand why you did it," Lily said. "I'm not mad about that."

"But you just took off," she continued the hurt evident in her voice.

"I'm sorry," James said again the remorse evident in his voice.

"I just panicked. It was stupid," he said looking at his hands.

"I know," Lily said taking his hand. "It's okay."

"Your intense loyalty is one of your qualities I admire most, you know," Lily said.

James looked at her and smiled.

"I'm sorry I ran," James apologized again. "I just panicked. I didn't know what to do. I hated that I was lying to you but I didn't know what to do. I'm sorry."

"It's alright. I understand now," Lily said softly.

"So, um, will you forgive me for being a prat and running off?"

"Yes," Lily said running a hand affectionately through his messy black hair.

"And will you forgive me for putting you in such an uncomfortable position in the first place?" she asked.

"Of course, love. There's nothing to forgive," he said cupping her face with his hand.

He leaned down and gave her a soft gentle kiss. Lily sighed contentedly as he pulled away. James wrapped his arms around her and she snuggled up against him, feeling content for the first time in over twenty-four hours.