Siren Call 6x3

Rage, helplessness... I mean I do know, 'cause my mother, she has lymphoma. The doctors, they talk about her life in months. And I think, you know, 'I'm smart, I'm resourceful'... but that, that's a lot...

The most honest emotion Eames had heard from her partner in years... and it was to a suspect. A murderer. A dead murderer, she revised as they drove away in silence from the tragic scene.

Your mom. That was true wasn't it.

The hardest part about asking was that it wasn't a question. She could tell, due to some connection she was still clinging to, that he was being open about this. It hurt, learning second hand to 'Ray'. And yet it wasn't an accusation, because how could she possibly harass him upon hearing that news?

Was there a time when Goren might have come to her directly? She wasn't sure which answer was worse.

She's a fighter.

A brief flare of resentment rose within her, and Alex's hands tightened their now vice-like grip on the wheel. What kind of answer was that anyway? That was unrepentantly blowing her off! How long had she been sick? How much longer did she really have? 6 months? 3? For god's sake! Eames' jaw clenched and she had to resist the urge to smack the horn. What was his mother's name? What would she write on the bouquet for the funeral!

The image of Ray's corpse brought her somewhat selfish thoughts under control. Now was not the time to be angry with him. And definitely not when he was sitting in stony silence merely a few feet away. Goren took every loss hard, especially those deaths he felt were preventable. And he sure had tried.

Okay, it was on me. It wasn't on her, let my partner go.

It should have bothered her, the way he'd wanted so badly to protect her. She was a fully capable cop who would have liked to be able to help. But Eames had faith in his remarkable powers of persuasion, and if he wanted her out he had a damn good reason.

You gotta let my partner go and look after your daughter.

It was Emily that had inevitably brought her around. Hearing the little girl's cries through the door had broken her resolve to kick and scream and rage. Despite the situation, they each had to do their jobs, and Goren had been right to send her to the girl's aid. Having Emily witness the confrontation wouldn't help anything. They'd just have another dying family member on their hands.

You gotta put the gun on me, and let my partner go look after your daughter.

But did he need to be so self-sacrificing?

Standing on the other side of that door, two inches of plywood between them but it felt like miles, Eames had listened to the entire nerve-wracking conversation. Emily'd done as she instructed (a refreshing change) and had hid in the bedroom with her mother, both frightened and uncertain. Breath had left her lungs when she heard the command to call his mother to say goodbye.

Giving her head a barely noticeable shake, Eames refocused on the immediate. The suspect had committed suicide. And although she wished it could have gone another way, she knew he'd done it for the right reasons. Despite the pain and suffering he'd caused his wife and Emily, he'd wanted to give them the full pension. No amount of money could make up for the loss, Alex knew from experience, but he'd died with some modicum of honor in her book.

Goren on the other hand, lived in the world of 'should have's. He strove for justice, not just punishment. Any death was unacceptable.

I'll file the paperwork. Take a drive upstate, visit your mom.

It was both the least she could do, and the most he'd let her do for him.

Though Alex knew she would never be a significant part of his life, she felt a burning ache for his closeness. How absurd that the case had started with unwanted concern for her well-being, and ended with the opposite? How much was she worth to him now?

You alright?

He hadn't even bothered to answer.

Okay, I'm posting this to tell you that I'll be gone for the rest of the week. I'm going to San Francisco for spring break to visit a friend. So this is it for a while, probably saturday.