Disclaimer: You certainly know the score.

Notes: Nine years ago, they said 'Good bye'. Now they are summoned back. Has time healed their rift? Can they ever fix their broken friendships? What does it mean to be Gundam, when a Gundam Pilot lies dying?

Warnings: I'm a slash writer; in my view some characters are not heterosexual. This may be different from your own interpretation of the characters. I hope you enjoy the story, despite our disagreement and I thank you for staying with me, despite Chapter 9 being your safe stopping point.

Song: Example – Close Enemies

::Strange and deranged::

::Seek fame was the name of the game::

::Defeat rivals Abel and Kane::

::Get trophies they'll look great in a frame::

::What would you have done, take all the blame? ::

Fade to Black

By Doctor Megalomania

Chapter 36: But Keep Your Enemies Closer

::Your smile should've told me you're trouble::
::No more, no more, no more::

I can't tell you how unimportant Zero-Three is. He is the least important or useful Gundam. His machine was fodder, he is fodder. Working now in a job so tiny and insignificant, I can tell that little has changed for him. During the war he did nothing, during the separation he did nothing, and even now he does nothing. So useless, I almost don't know why he was chosen to join the Gundams. He has no personality; he's like a black hole. Absorbing everything. I wonder if it is just an endless void or if this abyss of a man is able to feel anything. I wonder what Three is actually capable of.

There is an ugly rumour that he was never a real Gundam. The real one having died before the mission, and that he was a replacement. He was nothing before and is nothing now. The hours I spend checking him are wasted. He appears to have resumed a relationship with Zero-Four, goes to work at the factory, goes home, does nothing that contributes. Even does nothing to contribute to the mission of finding me. A waste of space, and he disgusts me when I see him taking an evening shift of taking care of Heero.

Once a week, usually a Wednesday, they go out together to go do something quiet. Usually heading to the library, sometimes to the gym or to take some time to go to the shopping mall. Acclimatising, I think. Helping Heero to resume his ability to be in places which are not controlled. They are watched by Preventer bodyguards, and they spend time talking. That was a little strange; I didn't think that Zero-Three was much of a talker. Yet, I watch them, and they walk and they talk. Heero listens patiently to Three's slow discourse – the man seems to pause between what he says. Doesn't really seem capable of holding a consistent conversation. How Heero can bear his company... it just goes further to show the incredible feats this angelic man can be capable of.

I wonder what they talk about, but cannot risk getting closer or using devices to close the distance. I'm only watching them. Heero hasn't spoken to me for a while, I know it's because it is difficult to get away. I understand that he needs to be careful when contacting me. He doesn't want me to be captured. I've read the stories of how his memory is bad, that he can't remember all aspects of the night.

It's okay. I understand it. I understand how he's protecting me from them, his supposed friends. I know that they are trying hard to find me, but they have nothing. I've been as careful as Heero has been to hide my tracks. I cannot let myself be caught before I have a chance to help Heero and he knows that. He's obviously four steps ahead of these people, despite the fact he was in a coma for years. I'm astounded by the levels of planning the man is capable of.

Watching Zero-Four is similarly dull at first. He joined the Preventers, but I don't understand what he could bring. According to what little I could get, Zero-Four is considered some sort of tactical genius. I scoffed when I heard it first, because he's the second most broken of all of them. He killed hundreds during the war, in the great Gundam Machine. That God Maker, Wing Zero. I know that Heero mastered the machine later, but only through the strength that was in him.

Zero-Four's relationship with Zero-Three is entirely one sided. I don't understand how Four doesn't see how Three just sucks in everything. That Three is simply a void that feels nothing. I watch as Four drives Three to work, how Three takes and takes and takes. I'm not surprised that Four broke up with him in the first place, that he banished Three to L3. Manipulating when he can, distancing those that he cannot. Their relationship so obviously one sided, that I almost feel sorry for them. But I know that Four is not innocent. Four is a monster, a monster that the God Maker could not contain. Four is a creature of the abyss, contained only by an angelic pretence and a need to control. I'm not surprised that this is the depth that Four is capable of.

Heero has coffee with Four on Saturdays. They go to the same cafe, sit in the same booth. They order the same thing and spend the same amount of time, sipping and talking. I don't know what they say, but Heero seems to do a lot of the listening. Once again, sacrificing himself on the altar of his friends' selfishness. He's so still during their talks, obviously following Four's self absorbed narrative. I can only guess about their topic, no doubt yet more woe from the doomed relationship between Four and Three. Heero is so kind to them all, even though they only drag him down. He opens himself to them because they share a name. He allows them close only because they are Gundam. That can be the only explanation. That he has some twisted sense of devotion to them.

Zero-Four seems to be busy at the Preventers. I don't know why he turns up every day. He doesn't wear a uniform, but seems to think he can lend a hand. I pity him. He doesn't even have half of the heart or even a drop of the passion of Heero. I've seen what Heero can do when he turns his mind to something. I watched the old news reels, watched as he mastered the God Maker, the Machine Wing Zero. He turned the machine against the Krushrenda pretender, I watched as he turned the machine into an avenging angel. It shattered upon the earth, but he had done it. Turning the tide of war once again. This is what the God Maker had made him capable of.

I spend my days thinking carefully about what I must do. I don't just follow them; I'd gain too much attention too quickly. I need to analyse them carefully. I cannot take for granted the fact that it has been years since they were truly Gundam. Heero has lost none of his cunning; I cannot assume that the others have lost anything that made them Gundam. I know that each of them has been touched by the God Maker, and that only one of them – Heero – managed to survive the experience intact. The God Maker touched them all, touched them and brought madness to them. Only Heero survived the God Maker, tamed it and made it his own.

Zero-Two seems to spend the most time with Heero. I know that they were close during the war, even swapping names at various times. I know that, but still feel a shiver of disgust when I watch Two take Heero out to dinner. The settings not particularly intimate, but I can see the desire in Two to take Heero away. It seems to me that here is another former Gundam, taking advantage of Heero in his weakened state. And he is weakened. I can see him when he dines with Two, how he lets his defences down for this one pilot. Two is hard, a product of this colony. A lifetime of sorrow and strife, pain, suffering and so much death. It's so clear. This was the reason Heero gave up his life on L1. Why he came here. Heero clearly doesn't know what Two is capable of.

I've done my research, of course I have. I know that Heero is a master of computers; I know that he has painstakingly gone through both their pasts. There is very little to find. However, I also know that Two is a clear and present danger to all of them. He is a harbinger of death. He is a darkness, a stain on the world. A blight. Where ever he goes, death follows. I've seen it myself, heard him gloating over the deaths of soldiers. Heero is clearly stuck with him, and I don't know what it is in them. They are close, but is it the bitter-sweet dance of an angel and a demon trapped together ...? They are balancing each other to prevent the other from spilling into madness. I know that Heero struggled, confused and alone in this world when Two disappeared. It wasn't fair, watching him descend into desperation. All because these bastards could not stay by him. Could not stand with this friend who'd been so strong for them.

I think Two is taking advantage of Heero, using him. I don't know how, but I watch them and I can see that in his eyes, Heero wishes for reconciliation with Two. To break the ice that Two surrounds himself with, but I'm afraid. I'm afraid that it isn't ice that surrounds this creature. It's death. It's the Death that Heero sometimes talks to. I know he isn't always talking to me, sometimes he's talking to Two. Two is a god of death. The God maker failed with him, not because of his own weakness, but because he was already a god. Already filled with some unearthly skill. Already filled with the power to move. He and Heero balance each other. I understand that. However, I know that Heero is weary of it. Weary of his so-called petty friends' struggles with life. Weary of bearing the burden of balancing Two. How he has kept it up this long, I don't know. All I know is that he may not be able to keep this up. This may be the one thing that he is not capable of.

Watching Zero-Five is almost like watching clockwork. A machine that pretends he is real. He ticks and tocks from place to place. His arriving at work is always at the same time; his leaving work is always the same time. I could go mad watching him. There's no reason for him to be so on time to everything. His daughter goes to school, he moves with precision. Dropping her off, picking her up with the same mechanical lack of emotion. I don't know what he has done in his life to lose such basic ability to show others how he feels. I worry when he meets with Heero. When they meet up in the park on Sundays for the walk with his daughter and the federation doctor, Sally Po ... or when they meet on Tuesday evenings for dinner with the rest of the pilots. He's a machine that shows no feeling and I fear for Heero. Trying his best to help this machine to feel something, anything. It must be exhausting. Can he succeed? I don't know. I remember the rumours of Five, when they first arrived on the planet. Like shooting stars they burst across the sky. I know that meeting Five was undesirable. He was a machine of death. Perhaps he was angry, they said, but it was never clear what had happened to drive this machine of death so hard and so fast. Then the other stories came out, of a moment when Five spared the life of a ship carrying the bastard, Trieze. After New Edwards, I saw Trieze for what he really was. But that's not important right now.

Five is the least of my worries. He is a machine, but he doesn't seem to be capable of causing harm to Heero. Heero almost seems to be safe in his company. Almost like this machine could be turned to evil, but is currently just focused on something else. I know it is this machine that searches for me, looking deeply, tracing me for all he's worth. I can't see determination in him but there is an absence of sloth in his movements. Like he knows that I am close. And the months that I have been here, I wonder how close he is becoming. I know that Zechs and Noin – once great captains of Oz, but no longer such because the bastard betrayed us all – I know that they have been back and forth from earth. Perhaps they have some trail, but the frequency of their return trips to earth suggests that they haven't found me, or found a link that says I have returned to this colony. It must be hard for them. I'm not frightened of them. I am frightened of what his so-called friends may do to him while I wait for the right moment. I'm not too afraid of Five. Unlike the abyss that is Three, or the capricious nature of Four... unlike the darkness that is wrapped around Two, Five just seems to be a hopeless machine that cannot possibly cause harm. Harm just doesn't seem to be something he is capable of.

As the weeks tick by, as the days trickle onward, I watch as this pattern begins to show itself. Heero is in care of the others, never left alone for any period of time. Doctor Po, the federation doctor, is by his side constantly. She is clearly his primary care giver. She walks out with him though I don't understand it. She seems to be in some sort of relationship with Five but that doesn't seem to make any sense either. She does however also seem to be caring for Five's daughter.

Often I've been there to watch them all, going out to enjoy the day in the park, or at a cafe. I'm consumed with my planning. It needs to be perfect. I've been documenting everything. Obviously I can't get too close, I cannot risk blowing my cover or Heero's. His company, Second Chance Inc, have been completely taken by his clever trick. They truly believe him to be Pilot Zero-Two. This disinformation is so clever. The Preventers obviously think that by spreading these lies further, that it will protect him. They don't know that Heero and I are working together on this, to free him from this all. All I need from him is the sign that he is ready to leave. This is a stretch of patience that I am capable of.

I've watch him with Po and with the girl. He looks so happy, almost fixed. He smiles, carefree in all the photos. I'm moved to see that my first attempt has clearly made him appreciate that there might be something worth living for after all. But I know that he's tired and that these so-called friends, the so-called Gundams will drag him down again. He can't see it, he's too close. But I can see it, in the way they use him, the way they treat him. I know the truth, and it is only a matter of time until he is begging me for death again. I can't let it come to that, so I watch carefully for that first sign. That first moment of doubt in him that shows that he knows the truth as well. That his friends are dragging him down a path to self destruction. That once more he will be forced to kill himself for the mission of saving his friends. That once more he will drive himself to the very edge trying to protect everyone he loves. They are walking him, dancing around him, pulling him along the same path of destruction as before. He's being goaded, taunted, but he can't see it. All he sees are their sweet smiles and their looks of fake concern.

But as I waited for that signal, another came to me. I was flicking through my latest batch of images, checking the time stamp against my schedule when I noticed someone else looking at me from the photos. Someone else had seen me, but had not seen me. She wasn't truly aware of what she was looking at but I know that she's a machine just like her father. I know what she's capable of.

The girl was staring at me.

I flicked through the images, and then began to look through all the images that I have of Heero and the girl. The girl didn't notice at first, but more often she was looking at me. Looking directly at me. At first with surprise, then with annoyance, but now... the photos today, she looked angry. She had seen something that she hadn't liked.

I stared back at her, and wondered what her machine mind was computing. If she was relaying the information to her father. Perhaps he'd placed her with them because he suspected. But I looked at the images I have of him, and Five had no such look on his face. I was safe from Five but I suspect that I am not so safe from the girl. I don't know her. She is an anomaly. Something outside of OZ files, outside of everything that is known about the Gundams. She is the first Gundam child, perhaps the only child.

I changed my method, but continued taking photos. I saw the suspicious look fade from her face in the photos but it was at the cost of constant images. I had few images to track Heero with. Had to rely on my observations and the few images I could take. But I was getting there. Soon I would know his every movement. I knew his appointments, his daily life outside in. He would not need to find a dramatic way to signal me, I would know even before he did that moment when he would need me and my blessed death. I would come to him as he had called me before.

There were days when I doubted. Days when he seemed to have a good time, was happy at the end of the day before he entered the apartment block. I couldn't get inside, so I didn't know the absolute truth but I knew him well enough that he had embraced this second chance at life. Of course he would. He'd always sacrifice himself. After his mistake at New Edwards, the one that the bastard goaded him into, Heero had trawled the world looking for redemption. Of course he would dedicate himself to trying again. He always tries to redeem himself.

The photos were my key. I watched as Three became more talkative, Four show almost sincere emotion, Five almost opened up – even going so far as to begin to show emotion toward the girl when none were looking. It was Two that made me reconsider. Two spent intense evenings with Heero, their dinners spanning hours but little conversation passes between them. It must be hard for them, Heero and Two. A God of Death and an Angel of Life. Balancing each other and yet cancelling each other out. Heero is worth more than this petty existence, and while he works to redeem himself... Two reminds me that there are creatures out there in the darkness, looking for every opportunity to drag Heero down.

Heero saved me. He must be exhausted, saving people all the time. He doesn't want to fight anymore. I can see it in his eyes. He doesn't appear before me anymore, but I watch one of his old messages and it reminds me again. He reminds me that I had one mission, one task. To free him from this existence. To save him from Two. To save him from himself. I owe Heero this. He puts on such a brave front. I look up at all the photographs I've gathered of him in these few months. His face is sad in some, he's struggling. He's happier in others, but his eyes don't hold that happiness. He knows that by keeping his so-called best friends close, he's keeping his enemies closer. The girl glares at me too. She knows I failed, and she blames me.

Heero needs me. He can't save himself. He can't keep saving people; he doesn't want to fight any more. He will survive, but at what cost? How many times does he have to keep fighting? This angel, the one of the God Maker, of Gundam Wing Zero. The star that fell to Earth and saved us all from insanity. I'm not the only one who sees him, but I am the only he has chosen for this task. Because I can take all the blame, and he can be free. Because he knows what I'm capable of.

I can't tell you how important Heero is to me.

::You messed around the others::
::Now you're dead to me::
::I've been sleeping with the enemy::
::Should keep your best friends close by::
::Should keep your best friends close by::
::You should keep your best friends close by::
::But keep your enemies closer::
::But keep your enemies closer::

A/N: I recognise that the frequency of posting is sporadic. I am however still writing, but of course the final chapters are proving a bitch to write. I thank you for your continued patience and for your reviews.