Chapter 38: heart to heart

Grace POV

After Loki escaped I was carried to my room and refused to come out. Natasha was busy with Clint so she wasn't even needing to get into the room. After about five hours of crying there was no more fluid to cry out. I sat in sadness as I thought of the moments we spent together and his last half sentence. He said enough of it to know what the end was. I missed him so much.

I tried to cry out but there were no more tears. I curled up on my bed with my arms wrapped around myself. I just needed my own company. There was a ringing on my bedside table as my phone lit up. I looked at the screen. Unknown number. It was Fury trying to get me out. It wasn't going to work. Can't they just understand that he was the closest friend, my first friend that I remember, and the closest thing to family I had. And now he was, like my biological family and most of my memory, gone. Never to be regained.

Another buzz on my bedside table crashed through the silence. I checked just for the sake of it. It was Steve this time. I gave a small smile before it fading again. He finally worked out how to use his phone. I declined the call and lay back down on the bed. A small knock on the door then interrupted my solitude.

"I knew you wouldn't pick up," Steve's quiet voice said on the other side of the steel door, "but if you just let me in..." I sighed. I sat up and considered my options.

"Is Fury with you?" I asked.

"No," he said simply. I knew he was telling the truth. I got up and opened the door to find a neatly groomed Steve. He wore the blue shirt I got him. I gave a sad smile and walked back over to my bed. He shut the door behind him and sat down beside me. He opened his arms up, "come here." I smiled and leaned into his chest with my face at his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around me. I began to sob again. How unprofessional could I get. After a good half an hour in that position I finally pulled out and dried my tears.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"It was no hassle," he replied, "I know it's hard. I've found it hard and I only knew him a day. He was to you what you are to me. The agent that understands." I nodded in reply. I still wasn't up for talking. He took out a red stained card of himself in his suit with a different shield. I took it out of his hand and looked at it with curiosity.

"What's this?" I asked quietly.

"Agent Coulson's Captain America vintage trading cards. They were on him when he died," Steve explained. Another tear slipped out of my right eye and slid down my cheek before plopping onto the card, "did you know about the avengers initiative."

"Yes. Fury finally told you. When the other members are scattered down below, who knows where," I replied.

"Coulson died believing we could do this. Believing that even just a small group of remarkable people could make a difference," Steve said.

"Sounds like him," I said remembering the phone call before my final exam, "he called me before my final assessment to give me a moral boost as I didn't have family and the people in my group were all guys and hated me. But there was one line that gave me hope and helped me complete it." I smiled at the memory as a warm feeling spread in my stomach, "he said, "'I know that you are far more intelligent and stronger than any of those other agents out there. You just have to believe in what I have seen all along.'"

"Why should that not stand now as strongly as it did back then? Phil may not be here to witness it personally but I guarantee that where ever he is, where ever he may be, he will look at you and be proud." He said.

"How do you always know of the right thing to say?" I asked. He shrugged.

"No idea. You may not be genetically engineered or have a super suit of armour but you'll be suiting up with the rest of us," he said.

"Is that an invitation?" I asked, "'cause I'm going no matter what and we are going to take this bastard down."

"Welcome back Agent Grace Holmes," he said pulling me in for hug, "let's go check up on the others."

"Ok," I agreed. I followed Steve's lead as we walked through the emptier corridors. I passed Barton and Natasha. The icy blue pupils that once filled Barton's eyes were gone. He must be back to normal. I stopped to look in.

"Are you coming?" he asked me.

"One minute," I replied before walking into the room.

"I don't know, how ever's left," Natasha said.

"Count me in," I replied. Both Natasha and Barton turned to me. I looked a bit out of place as my eyes were still a bit red and puffy from crying. Natasha gave me a small smile before giving me a hug.

"How are you doing?" she asked.

"Better. Steve convinced me out of my room but everything feels weird," I replied pulling out of the hug and looking over at Clint, "how are you doing?"

"My head hurts," he said bluntly, "But I'm good. Loki's opening the portal today. It's the only thing I know for certain."

"Well, if you're going to stop them both Steve and I are in. I think we're about to go and see Stark," I explained.

"Ok," Natasha replied, "let us know." I made my way to the door.

"Don't worry, you'll know," I said before leaving. I walked down the levels and through deserted hallways before arriving at the room where Loki and the cage once sat.

"...he was out of his league," Stark complained.

"So what?" I asked. Stark turned around to look at me, "he was the closest thing to a father or a brother that I ever had and I know first hand that he may not have any superpowers or a large electronic suit to make him different or special but his trust and faith in others along with sheer balls and crass stupidity he could make a difference. You only make a difference if you are willing and have at least one of those qualities if not all."

"He should have waited," Stark replied.

"Waited for what?" I argued, "if I got their sooner you may have been cleaning up more bodies. If he tried waiting for you, Loki would have gotten out without the threat of several people who now want him dead, myself included." Stark walked past us in silence.

"Is this the first time you've lost a soldier?" Steve asked. Stark turned around sharply.

"We are not soldiers," he replied, "I'm not marching into Fury's fight."

"Neither am I," Steve replied, "he's got the same blood on his hands as Loki does. But right now we've got to put that behind us and get this done. Now Loki needs a power source-"

"He made it personal," Stark interrupted.

"Yes," Steve replied, "that's not the point."

"That is the point," Stark interjected.

"What are you saying Stark?" I asked.

"That's Loki's point, he hit us all where we live. Why?" He asked. He had a point.

"To tear us apart," Steve and I said in unison.

"Yeah, divide and conquer," Stark continued, "yes, but he knows he has to take us out to win, right? That's what he wants. he wants to beat us, he wants to be seen doing it. He wants an audience."

"Like in Stuttgart," I suggested.

"Yes, that's just previews," he said climbing the stairs, "this is, this is opening night an Loki's a full-tail diva. He wants flowers, he wants parades, he wants a monument built to the skies with his name plaster-" Stark stopped and it dawned on him. I then realised what was happening, "son of a bitch."

"What?" Steve asked confused as Stark began to rush out of the room.

"The power source is Stark Tower," I explained as we all walked out of that room with our heads held high, sorrow in our hearts and with revenge on our minds.