Chapter 37

Remus, my love,

Forgive me. Believe me when I tell you that I pray from the moment I wrote this, that you needn't open this letter, that you needn't even know that I wrote this at all. I pray that I would never be put in a situation where I have to give my life for the greater good but now I have.

June 2022

"Come here please Little Dora," Remus smiled, gesturing her over. Little Dora turned at her name, happy to oblige with her grandfather's instructions. Hope has returned to work at the Auror Office after watching Remus go about his day around his granddaughter's needs. Teddy and Victoire was both more than glad to entrust Remus with their daughter in the day when they worked. So Remus spent most of his day taking care of his beautiful granddaughter and reading to her every day. The two of them worked up a healthy bond and mutual dependence as the days turn to months.

She babbled happily as she stopped at Remus' feet, scrambling to her feet as she used Remus' leg as support.

Remus smiled, holding her under her arms as he swooped her off her feet, "whoosh!" Remus sounded as he flew Dora into the air like a bird before settling her on his stomach heavily. Little Dora laughed, bouncing on him happily. After adjusting her into a sitting position in his lap with her back leaning on his stomach, Remus reached to his side where he had placed the photo album.

Little Dora watched the book-like thing settle in front of her and her eyes twinkled in anticipation. She had always enjoyed being read to by her grandfather. He told enjoyable stories and made the best voices.

"Dora," Remus opened the album, looking at it over the top of Dora's head, "these are the photos grandpa took with nana when she was still here," the first picture was one they took in front of the house on the day of their wedding, "this was when Grandpa and Nana got married," Remus pointed at it and they both watched as the younger version of Remus wrap his arms around Tonks, gazing at her lovingly. Tonks beamed up at her husband, kissing him full on the lips. When Remus withdrew, he seemed to be blushing as he glanced at the camera, self-conscious.

Remus flipped the page of the book.

"This is Nana when she was pregnant with Teddy, your dada," Remus smiled, pointing at the second photo to guide Little Dora's gaze. It was picture of Tonks lounging on the couch, her feet on the coffee table. Both her hands were on her very swollen belly. Remus watched longingly as the Tonks in the photo stuck her tongue out at the person taking the photo (himself) before huffing and tossing her head back in frustration; a shadow of the Blacks' wrath visible in her every feature. Remus remember that moment vividly. Tonks was complaining about feeling fat and that the baby was being extremely restless, having kicked her in the ribs twice that day. Tonks wanted the baby to be born at that moment as she commanded. Remus had laughed at her and took a photo instead.

Little Dora stared wide-eyed at the photo, transfixed by the moving picture.

"And this, your Nana took it. Grandpapa was feeling ill that day and Nana was feeling mean," Remus chuckled. The picture started with him on the couch, sleeping with his head propped up on two fluffy pillows that Tonks had stuffed there. The camera seemed to be set to hover as Tonks emerged from behind the camera and into the frame. She crept up beside him and threw herself on him. Remus smiled as he watched himself jump in surprise while Tonks sprawled over him, laughing.

Remus shook his head as he flipped the page. Little Dora babbled happily, a hand on Remus' hand which was holding the album up.

"Your father was being a naughty boy that day, morphing to be your uncle Lyall for a day and confusing me and Nana when we get home from work," Remus smiled. Both Lyalls were sat on the floor, playing with some blocks. Both of them looked up to the camera and flashed identical grins. They even had identical sets of pyjamas on, "don't you go morphing like that and confusing your poor grandpa," Remus tickled her under her ribs. Little Dora shrieked with laughter as she squirmed until she was lying down and cradled in his arms. Her pink hair turned bright yellow.

"Gwan Pap..pa," Little Dora looked up at Remus from her place cradled in his arms. Her eyes were a shock of blue and her hair turned back to pink as she babbled to her grandfather.

Remus stared, "My darling, w-what did you say?"

"Pap...pa," she declared. Remus laughed heartily at her first words, for the first time since the passing of his wife.

You promised me three requests, requests that you will definitely meet. I have one last request if I remember correctly and I will tell you my last request now. Live. Live for me, for our children, for our grandchildren, for yourself. This world is yours and our children's to enjoy and even if I can't be there, I wouldn't have it any other way.

November 2023

"Am I pretty, Dad?" Hope asked with a grin.

Remus blinked, looking offended, "always, my darling," he smiled. Hope had a veil over her head and she was dressed in an elegant while halter neck wedding dress, "you look so much like your mother," Remus muttered, a lump forming in his throat. He could still remember his wife on the day they married vividly. She looked absolutely breath-taking then. He had to remind himself to breathe as he watched her walk down the aisle, "Your mother was so beautiful," Remus whispered, his voice cracking, "she would've wanted to be here so badly…" They were standing outside the church doors, waiting for the cue so they can enter. It was the same church that Remus and Dora married in.

Hope threw her arms around her father, pressing a kiss to his cheek, snapping Remus out of his reverie and he blinked to realise his eyes were welling up, "I love you Dad,"

Remus smiled, pulling away from his daughter, "don't tell James you kissed me. I wouldn't want to steal the first kiss on your wedding day," Hope was pleased to hear humour from her father and glimpse that twinkle in his eyes. Remus had not been the same since Dora's passing and it was a relief to see that Little Dora was building him up as her namesake always could while she was alive.

Hope laughed, rolling her eyes, "all fathers are their daughters' first love, James has long resigned to the fact that he is not my first love,"

"You've been cruel," Remus accused but there was a hint of a smile on his lips, "but I know you've made a good decision," they heard a knock, the cue and Remus turned, straightening his back.

Hope chewed her lips, nervous as she slung his arm through Remus', "I sure hope so,"

"Do you love him?" Remus asked.

"Yes," Hope nodded.

Remus smiled, "that's all you'll need." Beside them, Remus smiled at Harry. By Harry's side, Lily stood with her arm slung through Harry's arm.

They walked down the wide aisle together. Remus smiled at James as he took Hope's hand from around his elbow and paused, meeting James' eye as he placed Hope's hand in James' waiting hand.

"James," Remus started and James met his eyes, confident, "that's my daughter you've got there,"

"Yes, sir," James inclined his head.

"She could be stubborn, opinionated and grumpy," Remus said, and Hope huffed beside him to the amusement of the audience, "but she's also strong, free-spirited and beautiful. And my girl is so very like her mother. From today onwards, she would love you, like no one ever could. I want you to know that and I hope you can make her happy. Like how she deserves to be,"

James nodded and turned to his beautiful bride, smiling, tears in his eyes, "I will, I swear," Remus leant forward and kiss his daughter on her forehead before stepping aside for Harry and Lily to step forward to Alastor. Alastor glanced to Remus and Remus nodded. Alastor swallowed visibly and turned to Harry and Lily.

Harry smiled as he placed Lily's hand in his, "if you're really your father's son, I know you'll treat her right," Remus chuckled, shaking his head, "but don't screw it up, Tory,"

Alastor paled and nodded. Lily laughed heartily, hugging her father. Harry chuckled and patted Alastor's shoulder before turning to step aside.

Little Dora tugged on Remus' sleeve, wanting to be picked up so she could see what was going on amidst the crowd. Remus smiled. He could never deny his granddaughter and her cherubic face. Lyall swore that it was Veela magic at work so that Little Dora has everyone at her beck and call.

"Papa, papa, papa," Dora babbled happily and Remus unwittingly smiled. She has taken to shorten Grandpa to Papa and it seemed to be her favourite word despite her ever growing vocabulary at the age of two.

"Dora look," Remus pointed at the two couple who turned to face the master of the ceremony as the crowd took their seats. Little Dora turned to watch the ceremony, enthralled by the beautiful flowers and dress the brides had on. But before long, as the ceremony progressed with the couples making their vows to each other, Little Dora buried her face in Remus' shoulder and fell asleep. The ceremony was over and slow music began to signal the beginning of the post-wedding dance.

Remus watched as James bowed and offered his hand, palm up. Hope giggled and nodded, taking his hand before the two of them started off in a slow dance. Behind James, Lily and Alastor began their dance as well. Before long, couples from the audience joined them as well. Churches do not normally host dances at weddings but after much convincing from Remus, who knew the Minister of the church, he relented.

Remus smiled as he watched James waltz with Hope, grinning while Alastor twirled Lily around, pulling her back into his embrace. Lily laughed, kissing her new husband chastely on his lips. The church was the same from when he and his wife tied the knot. He turned to look down the aisle and he could almost see his Dora walking down the aisle barefooted, clad in a white halter neck dress that left her back bare. She wore a necklace that was so elaborate it resembled a choker, with an emerald jewel in the middle.

"Papa,"

Remus blinked and turned to see little Dora rubbing sleep away, looking at him, "yes, baby?"

"Dance," she pointed to the dance floor, her little red lips pursed, her defined brows furrowed and her blue eyes determined. Remus smiled, placing her on her feet, getting on one knee gingerly as he held out his hand.

"Little Ms Lupin," Remus started, clearly and formally, failing to see Victoire and Teddy watching by the side. Victoire was tearing with a hand over her mouth as she always did when she saw grandfather and granddaughter interact lovingly, "may you grant me the first dance of the night?"

Little Dora giggled, "yes, Mr Lupin," she curtsied and Teddy laughed quietly into his hand. Trust his father to raise his granddaughter like a true princess with impeccable manners and language.

Remus took Little Dora under her arms as he lifted her into his arms whilst standing, cringing as his knee popped. She caught his cringe, "Papa, are you in pain?"

"No my sweet Dora," Remus smiled as they approached the dance floor together and Remus danced around with her in his arms. Little Dora laughed as Remus twirled them around, her hair turning a bright bubblegum pink in her delight.

Remus glanced at her hair, smiling as he pressed his lips to her hair

Please know that I never intended to leave you. I love you, Remus, very much. From the moment I realised I love you till my last breath and even after, I will love you. Can you feel it?

2024

It was their anniversary. Their 27th year.

Remus smiled, tracing her white marble gravestone with his fingertips longingly. The sun was just going up.

Remus had awoke abruptly, his wife's beautiful visage in his dream and his mind, as usual. Glancing at the clock to see the date, he sat up. He had not forgotten. He had gone to sleep merely hoping to be able to sleep in a little more but to no avail. It has been 3 years and every night was not getting easier as Remus has hoped. The space by him on the bed remained too still, too cold, too empty, like his heart. He had long admitted it would never be the same for him.

The house was cold as well, even in the middle of summer. He missed her. How could he not? She filled every space in the house and in his heart.

"Dora," Remus whispered to the gravestone that he sat alongside, "I miss you. I love you. This is for you, my dear," he placed a bouquet of sunflower on her grave. It wasn't her favourite flower, Dora didn't even particularly fancy flowers. She found them impractical but Remus felt it was right for the occasion and he knew Dora would appreciate, "Happy Anniversary my love,"

Remus swallowed, his palm on the cold headstone and he turned away from her to watch the sunrise as a tear sprung from his eye and down his face.

I am so very sorry, my love. My heart breaks to think of how you could be feeling at this moment. How would I feel if it were me reading a letter you left me, which would be all you left me. How could I live? I don't know but I know that my husband, my love, you, Remus John Lupin can do it. Because you are brave and strong. Because you love me and I asked that you do.

2025

His knees ached, barely holding up his weight, threatening to give out and throw him sprawling all over the concrete but Remus ran nonetheless. His daughter needed him. Their daughter.

"Hope Andromeda Lupin or Potter," Remus demanded breathlessly the moment he reached the counter of the maternity ward.

The healer looked up at him lazily. Normally, Remus would get in line and approach the counter respectfully, highly aware of his 'status' even if Kingsley had abolished and heavily punished prejudiced behaviour. But when it came to matters of those he loved, Remus could be reckless, contrary to popular belief. Her eyes widened at his scars marked face and she looked down to the stack of paper in front of her, looking for the name.

"Room 507-"

Remus took off. He ran up the stairs 3 at a time and found the room quickly enough, bursting through the ward doors.

"Daddy!" Hope sniffed and Remus was by her side in less than 3 steps, his daughter safely in his arms. She smelt like blood and antiseptic. It was sickeningly strong to Remus' wolf enhanced sense of smell but he held her tighter.

"Daddy's here, baby," Remus pressed a kiss to her honey brown hair. Pulling away, he brushed aside her hair to press a kiss to her clammy forehead. Remus wrapped his arms around her shoulder firmly as Hope buried her face into his chest. He looked up to notice the room for the first time to see James hunched in a chair on the other side of the bed. James nodded to Remus stiffly as their eyes met, "are you alright?" Remus whispered. Hope sobbed and failed to reply so Remus looked up to her husband.

"The healer said it took its toll on her body but she'll recover fully in a month or so," James said. Remus heaved a sigh of relief and the edges of James' lips twitched up in relief as well, "but the baby…" James' voice trailed off and Hope let out another heart wrenching sob, "the healer couldn't save the baby,"

Remus winced as Hope's body wracked with another sob. He palmed the back of her head, "baby, listen to Daddy," he pulled back and sat down on the edge of the bed, cupping her heart shaped face in his hands, wiping her tears away with the pads of her thumbs, "Daddy's so sorry what happened to the little baby and I wish we could have all known him. You have all the rights to grief but you have to be strong. Do you hear me?"

Hope nodded, tears streaming down her face.

The night found Remus leant back on the headboard of the hospital bed with Hope leaning on his chest, having fallen into a fitful sleep after crying the whole afternoon. James had never left his wife's side despite her insistence on being with her father. James was currently asleep sitting in the chair by her bed, his head on the bed with Hope's hand held in his. Remus smiled in approval at his son-in-law. James truly did love her. Remus saw it in his eyes as he looked worriedly at his sobbing wife.

Remus shifted in a bid to relieve the lower back ache but Hope stirred. She shifted off him, blinking sleep from her eyes.

"Daddy, you're still here?" Hope croaked.

"Are you feeling better?" Remus asked, hiding his wince as his back cracked. Hope nodded, forcing a smile to her lips for her father, "I'm glad," Remus smiled, "do you know that you bring out your name beautifully?"

Hope shot him a questioning look.

"Your birth," Remus said as he gazed at her fondly, remembering the day vividly, "I thought it was a bad sign but it's not…it's you and it's hope. That your mother was alive. You're my first daughter. So naturally you stuck with me more than your three brothers did. Your love for me made me hope that maybe, just maybe, when the day comes when I was to tell you and your siblings what I am, you would still love me-"

"We would always love you. You're our Daddy no matter what," Hope interrupted, her eyes hardening.

"I know that now, Hope. And you gave me that," Remus smiled, "my first daughter. Daddy loves you so much," Hope nodded furiously, her eyes filling with tears, "you're so strong, you can be strong, just like your mother you are,"

It hurts me to know how I cannot be there for you; to hold you as you sleep the day before the moon, to kiss your pain away after, to hold your hand as we witness our babies grow up, fall in love, fall out of love and form families of their own; to see you everyday and grow old with you. I can only imagine what an amazing grandfather you would be.

2032

"Granddaddy, come get me!"

Remus smiled as he watched 6 year old, Brandon Harry Lupin took off across the living room happily, "I'm sorry, Bran-"

"Granddaddy is really tired, alright? Sit down and play nicely," Lily, his mother, interrupted, appearing from the kitchen.

Brandon pouted but nodded nonetheless, sitting down at Remus' feet, placing his head on his grandfather's knee.

"I'm so sorry Bran," Remus smiled sadly as he stroked Brandon's head of untamed black hair with one hand. With his other hand, he held his youngest grandchild; Dany's first child with her husband, an Auror, Declan. Eva Jasmine was a mere 4 months old and her workaholic of a mother, Dany, was huddled upstairs in Remus' study rushing out an article for the prophet due that day.

In the background Remus was vaguely aware of Alastor rising to meet his wife, kissing on her lips as he asked if she needed any help with dinner. Bran perked up suddenly, "can we play chess?"

Remus smiled and nodded. Bran grinned and ran to fetch the chess set.

"Can I play?" Remus turned to his left to see Hailey looked up at him with the familiar stormy grey eyes. Hailey, the daughter of Hope and James, was 5 this year.

"If you want to," Remus nodded and watched as Brandon eagerly dragged a stool to set up the chess set on.

"Me?" Kiera jumped up in all her 3 year old curiosity, reaching for one of the pieces.

"Don't touch it Kie!" Brandon howled at his younger sister and Kiera frowned at her brother, stuck her tongue out and sat back, leaning into Remus' side.

"Wait your turn alright, Kiera? Your brother asked me first," Remus explained patiently. Kiera nodded, satisfied as Remus pressed a kiss on the top of her head.

"Alright, Dad! Time for your juice!" Hope called and Remus turn to see his pregnant daughter, who was currently the Head Auror after Harry was promoted to be minister, walking to him, holding the wolfsbane. Remus sighed as Hope sat down on the arm of the chair, taking Eva from him and passing him the cup of 'juice'.

"Ew!" The children's face scrunched up as they saw the blue smoke emitting from the wolfsbane. They knew by now that Granddad always got sick some nights and on those nights, they would have to leave him alone or play gently. They were also accustomed to the disgusting looking and smelling juice he had to drink.

"Bottoms up," Hope smiled. Remus smiled to his daughter appreciatively but cringed nonetheless before downing it. Hope waved her wand and a plate floated from the kitchen and landed neatly on the coffee table by Remus, bringing his dinner, "eat up, Dad," Hope took the empty glass from Remus, nodding her chin to the food.

"Thank you," Remus said softly as Hope placed baby Eva in the bassinet in the sitting room. He began eating his dinner.

"Granddaddy, can we play now?" Brandon asked, looking at Remus from across the chess set, all set up.

Remus smiled as he nodded and he looked at the chess board, moving his pawn forward wandlessly. Brandon grinned and made his move while Kiera and Hailey watched on curiously.

Before they could finish the game, Remus could feel the pull of the moon on his bones, too close for comfort, especially around a bunch of children. He looked up and met Alastor's eye meaningfully. Remus nodded and Alastor stood from his seat on the comforter, watching the chess game.

"Alright buddy," Alastor swooped in and took Brandon under the arms from behind. Brandon shouted and kicked out in objection, "Granddaddy needs to rest,"

"Daddy! But I'm not done winning!" Brandon cried.

Remus raised a brow as he stood gingerly, summoning his cane to support him as he took two steps forward, "who said you were winning?"

Brandon turned to Remus with a grin, "I am!" Remus' smile was accompanied by a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, "can we continue when you're done resting?"

Remus nodded, "of course Bran," he smoothed the boy's black head of hair, inherited from the Potter's side. Brandon grinned happily and nodded. He leant forward and gave his granddad a hug.

"Feel better, Granddaddy," Hailey climbed onto the couch, so she could press a wet soppy kiss to Remus' cheek. Remus smiled, hugging his granddaughter.

"Bye," Kiera looked up at him. Remus patted her on her head gently and with that he limped towards the kitchen, mildly aware of Alastor shooing the children up the stairs to drag Dany down for dinner.

Lily and Hope turned around as Remus entered, the telling sound of his walking cane, "is it time already?" Hope asked as she bustled to Remus.

"Slowly, Hope," Remus chided softly as Hope practically ran into his embrace despite her pregnant state.

"Take care Daddy, we'll be right here for you when you get out," Hope smiled. Remus nodded and patted Lily on her shoulder. He then turned to go down to the basement, opening the heavy door wandlessly. Remus smiled at the mural of tall grass and the night starry sky in the basement. There was to be a full moon on it but it has not risen as of yet, as reflected on the mural. Dora had put it up after the war for him when they've decided that with wolfsbane, he would always transform here. She had also placed a mattress by the mural with pillows and a warm tough quilt; reinforced with magic.

"Go Hope, I'll be fine," Remus managed a smile back at his daughter. Hope hesitated on the steps but nodded eventually and left, closing the door behind her. Remus could feel magic crackling over the door as Hope set up the wards. He approached the worn mattress and put his cane against the wall as he sat down slowly.

The mattress was getting worn and thinner but Remus had refused to have it changed out. The mattress had patches, signs where it was ripped and torn but mended back together. Dora was unable to use magic to sew the material back together or fill the patches, without risking putting more holes in them, so she had resorted to using her own two hands and some needle and thread. Remus ran his hand over the mattress, feeling the rough and worn fabric under his calloused hand.

He had always slept the day after the full moon away and Dora would always sneak down to the basement to clean up, despite his persistence that he would clean up later that day or the next day. Remus had caught her sewing the mattress in the basement when he woke from his nap and went looking for her. He could still remember her surprised expression as he called her out for it. Dora had pricked her finger on the needle in her surprise.

His eyes prickled uncomfortably as he looked down to see a piece of yellow bear filled fabric that patched a rather large hole. Remus chuckled at the memory. He had lightly chided Dora for intentionally picking out such a bright coloured and patterned cloth to patch the hole but Dora insisted the basement needed colour and Remus needed a piece of his beloved children in this dark and gloomy place.

At 72 years old and 21 years after her death, one would think that Remus' mind would fail him but to this day, he could still remember everything about his beloved wife; every memory. Her bright and expressive grey eyes, her vibrant hair colours, her scrunched up nose whenever she morphed wittingly and her soft and warm sensual lips. He yearned to touch her, just one more time.

He glanced over the mattress. Dora had once lay over this very mattress with him. They've kissed on this mattress with an abandon that made Remus chuckle, shaking his head, amused, at their hormonal behaviour. Merlin did he miss her so much…

Remus winced as he rose slowly, peeling off his clothing one by one. He was fast running out of clothing to rip as he had failed to remove his clothing in time, caught up in memories with his wife time and again as always when he was left alone.

Remus had just placed the clothing on the tail end of the bed, neatly folded, shivering in the cold as all of a sudden, he felt the moon before he saw it rising over the horizon of the mural.

He screamed as his bones broke. Dora. My sweet Dora. I would do anything for you to come back to me, to have you back. Even for a day, an hour would also suffice! Please… Please!

Remus heard his bones crack again rather than felt it, unable to pinpoint the source of the pain in the midst of the agony throughout his body. He fell forward onto his forepaws, hard and he heard his shoulder crack soundly due to the sudden crashing weight. He buckled due to his broken shoulder and cried out as his face struck the concrete.

Dora…

He opened his eyes in the dark and they were bright amber. The wolf snarled. Angry as it has been for the past 21 years. Angry at itself, at the human, at the loss of its mate, at the world. It lumbered to its 3 paws gingerly and turned to see the moon in the 'sky' on the wall and howled again and again. When nothing sounded back, it growled and snarled, snapping its jaws violently at thin air. Remus allowed the wolf, it was his monthly catharsis.

Hush Remus, calm down.

The wolf jolted, its ears straight up.

Remus.

The wolf whimpered as it turned to see nothing but darkness.

Remus willed the wolf to limp to the mattress and allowed it to collapse into it. His body was not the same as in the past and so, neither was the wolf's. Merely turning from the man into the wolf took it out of both of them. Remus shifted the shoulder testily only for him to wince in pain while the wolf snarled, keeping still. The shoulder felt broken. This would be the first time he hurt himself like that while transforming and Remus had a feeling that it wouldn't be the last.

From the day I married you, till this day, I have never once regretted giving myself, so wholly, to you; an amazing and beautiful man who was always so blind to his own strengths.

6 years later. 2038

Something was not right. He knew, from all his years of transformation; 73 years of it. He drew a ragged breath and sharp pain was felt in his middle. He also found he was breathless despite taking in such a deep breath. One side of his face was pressed up against the soft mattress but everywhere hurt and he couldn't move. Everything hurt too much. He was rapidly feeling lightheaded.

Steeling himself, he called, "Tory!" His lungs burned with the effort and he burst out in a hacking cough that sent his lungs in painful jolts. He could hear movement from outside before the door slammed open and he glimpsed two silhouettes running down the steps.

"Dad? Dad!" Alastor's call was frantic as he dropped to his knees by his father's body, draped with nothing but the quilt his mother made for him, "what's wrong?"

"Tory…" Remus wheezed

"I'll call Teddy," Lily muttered before turning to formulate the patronus and sending it on its way.

"Dad," Alastor placed a gentle hand on the side of his father's face, "Dad, please. Nothing must happen to you…"

Remus tried to smile for his son but couldn't remember if he did before he passed out from the agony that was his own body.

"-for the next transformation…I'm afraid his heart won't be able to take it anymore,"

It was the first thing he heard with his enhanced hearing as he woke, in a body without pain. He could barely feel his body for that matter but from the smell, Remus knew he was in St. Mungos.

"No!" Remus didn't know if it was Dany or Hope who gasped but at that moment, he opened his mouth, wanting to speak to distract his children from the bad news. But his mouth and throat was dry. So instead, he coughed and almost instantly, faces of his children and even grandchildren came into his vision.

"Papa!" One stood out and filled his vision.

"Little Dora," Remus croaked as his granddaughter leant over to kiss him on his forehead.

"You worried me!" she scolded gently. With one look, Remus could see the tears in her swollen red eyes. Dora Leona Lupin had grown up to be an outstanding young woman. She was head girl and a seventh year Gryffindor at Hogwarts. She topped her Defence, potions and charms classes with Remus personally guiding her along, especially in Defence. Remus had left his job at Hogwarts after his wife's death but was more than happy to tutor his grandchildren in Defence. And all these years, Remus had been Dora's strength whilst she had been his.

"I'm very sorry," he said earnestly. His voice didn't sound like himself. It sounded dry and barely a whisper. She bit her lips, her hands brushing back his hair as she cupped his face.

"Don't do this again!" she looked sternly at him.

Remus chuckled, wincing as the pain struck him again.

"Do you need more pain potions-?" Teddy asked but Remus raised a hand and shook his head.

"You sound your Nana, Little Dora. Scolding a man on his sickbed," Remus smiled, the irony not lost on him.

"I'm not very little anymore, Papa," she sat down by his bed.

"Aren't you supposed to be at school?" Remus wheezed.

She frowned at him, "how can I? When you're-" she paused and tears filled her eyes.

Remus took a shallow breath, squeezing her hand, "I'm right here, Little Dora. Granddad's here for you," and it might have been 16 years in the past, with Remus caring for her as best as he could.

"I know," Dora swallowed a sob, "I- we had our career talk just last week and I've decided, Papa. I've thought about it in 5th year but haven't confirmed it till now and I don't know how you would take it but I thought you should know," she hesitated and even in his tired and drugged state, Remus knew she was afraid he might not like it so he braced himself, "I want to be an Auror,"

Silence.

Remus' jaw clenched painfully but he dropped his gaze. Eventually, Remus managed a painful and wheezy chuckle to break the awkward silence, "Oh dear Merlin, the love for danger does run in the genes as Dora claimed,"

"So does stubbornness," Teddy added with an eye-roll and Dora mocked a scowl at her father, "don't give me that look, Dora. Being an auror is dangerous,"

She rolled her eyes, "it's also very fulfilling, dad," she stated, deadpanned before turning back to face her grandfather, a hopeful look in her eyes. And as it was in the first 17 years of her life, how could Remus deny those eyes?

Remus eventually whispered, "Go for it, Dora. Do what you love."

Dora nodded, smiling as she leant over and hugged her grandfather, "thank you Papa,"

"Be happy Dora," Remus pressed a kiss to her temple, "always be happy, my dear girl,"

Eventually, upon Remus' request, he was brought home and Teddy applied for long term leave from St. Mungo's for parental care.

When Remus was made comfortable in his bed, Teddy turned to fetch the potion Remus would need, commenting airily, "I'm surprised you allowed her,"

Remus took a moment before he knew what Teddy was referring to, "I surprised myself. When she asked me, it reminded me so much of your mother, when she, similarly, asked me if she should return to work as an Auror after the war and after having you,"

"Why did you allow her?" Remus couldn't see Teddy's expression from where Teddy's back was to him as he prepared the potions but Remus could hear the strain in his voice, "she would listen to you y'know? If you told her no,"

Remus spoke calmly from the bed, "do you resent me for allowing her?"

Teddy turned and Remus could see that his lips were pursed tightly together and his face pale, "how could I? No one suffered more than you when mum died. And now, no one loves little Dora like you do. If you can allow that, I'm sure the rest of us would live with it."

Remus sighed, "come here, Teddy," he gestured his son over and Teddy obliged, kneeling by his father's bedside, taking his frail and scarred hand in his strong and large one, "I allowed her because I saw the passion for the job in her eyes. The same look in her eyes your mother had when she asked me. So I know how happy this job would make her and how could I say no. Your mother died at her job but she also loved her job. This job gave her her life."

Teddy swallowed and nodded.

"I know you love your daughter, Teddy. You always will and you always will worry for her but when you see the spark in her eyes as she tells you about her job, you'll forgive her for choosing this job in the end no matter what happens. Because she would be happy," Remus said, a faraway look in his eyes and Teddy had a feeling his father was not merely talking about his granddaughter anymore, "and because you love her,"

Teddy could feel tears prickling at his eyes but they never fell, "Does it get any easier? About mum,"

"I love your mother, Teddy," Remus breathed, looking very small and grey amongst the cushion, "it would never get easier. It would always hurt but I never regret a second I spent with her, a second we were married. Those 26 years I knew your mother were the best years of my life and because of her, even after, because of all of you," Remus sighed, "I am so very undeserving of your mother, Teddy…s-she-" Remus spluttered and coughed violently.

"Dad, rest alright?" Teddy patted his chest and quieted any remaining words he wanted to say, "just rest,"

Remus wheezed for air as the coughing fit subsided. He turned to look at his son, "where's Alastor?" Remus hadn't seen his youngest son since Alastor rushed him to St. Mungo's from the basement.

Teddy bit his lips, "at the ministry. He has been at the ministry since…" since Remus collapsed which was 3 days ago.

"What is he up to?" Remus frowned.

Teddy muttered, "a cure, Dad."

"Whatever for?" Remus couldn't help as he glared weakly at his son and Teddy failed to reply, "I don't need a cure."

Teddy sighed, "Dad, please…let us help you, for once,"

Remus frowned, "Teddy, enough of my life has been forcibly revolved around my lycanthopy. I don't want that for my children,"

"Well, we love you enough to want to help you," Teddy said angrily, "even a night under the full moon as a person, not a werewolf, would mean so much to you, so we're all willing to do something about it. And don't even try to say you don't deserve it. You're a great father and deserve every damn thing we do for you, and more!"

Remus was slightly stunned as he averted Teddy's eyes, mumbling, "don't swear," Teddy snorted and silence engulfed the father-and-son pair. Eventually Remus asked, "what did the healer say, Teddy?"

Teddy shook his head, refusing to look at his father, "you just focus on getting well,"

"Okay, Teddy. I will," Remus forced a thin smile at his son, brushing away an errant tear with the crook of his finger, "Teddy, where is your uncle Sirius?" he hated the way he wheezed the question.

Teddy smiled sadly at his father, "I've told him. He's on his way back from somewhere in Asia apparently," Remus managed a chuckle with a shake of his head without bursting out into hacking coughs. Teddy sat down and took his hand, "you be strong and wait and he'll be here soon,"

Sirius had taken to travelling after Dora's death and Remus was happy that Sirius found something he loved, other than women. Remus received news of Sirius and his travels from the postcards and souvenirs Sirius sent through the floo.

"Moony, bloody hell, you've gone all grey haven't you?" Remus opened his eyes to see Sirius Black in all the glory of an eighty year old. His black mane was lined with silver and his face was more wrinkled than Remus remembered. But as Sirius walked to him, Remus noticed that Sirius' gait was much stronger than his own and Remus was glad.

"I've been grey for a while Padfoot," Remus wheezed.

"What's wrong, Moony?" Sirius sighed as he dragged a chair over to sit by his bed, "don't tell me you've gone and decided to leave me,"

Remus chuckled, "I'm going to meet Prongs, Lily and-" Remus hesitated and Sirius stiffened, "wormtail. The fun we'll have together,"

Sirius unfroze and nodded, a nervous chuckle, "not much fun to be had without me," Sirius said with a twinkle in his dark grey eyes.

"We'll manage," Remus forced a smile and the temperature in the room seemed to have dropped drastically as both men averted the other's eyes, opting to remain quiet.

"Merlin, Moony. Who would I send dungbombs to from all over the world now?" Sirius laughed a hollow laugh, running a hand through his hair.

Remus smiled, "Lyall would be more than happy to receive them I'm sure but we have to grow up eventually, Padfoot. I think 80 is a ripe enough time as any," Sirius scowled and seemed offended but there was his signature smirk under his moustache. Remus continued in a whisper, "and…I miss Dora dearly. I've lived my life, Padfoot and it was way better than what I even dared to dream," Sirius smiled thinly and nodded, squeezing Remus' shoulder gently.

Sirius left without another word and Remus was just succumbing to sleep when Dany appeared at the door of his room, bearing dinner, "Daddy?"

Remus stirred awake from his nap, blinking sleep from his eyes to see his youngest daughter. He had not had a good talk with her since he collapsed after his transformation. She had been painfully quiet at the hospital and when he went home with Teddy accompanying him, Dany, like Alastor, was nowhere to be seen, "Dany," Remus' face lit up. He managed a thin smile as he struggled to sit up, wincing.

"Don't get up like that," Dany gasped, rushing forward and placing the tray on the bedside table, "you'll hurt your broken bones," Remus stopped, freezing as he saw his daughter up close. Her face was washed and fresh and her eyes bright but as her father, Remus could see the redness on the rim of her eyes and the slight swell and puffiness in them.

"Has work been busy?" Remus croaked, concerned as Dany gently helped him up and stuffed a pillow behind his back.

"Here, dinner," Dany said instead as she levitated the tray in front of Remus. Remus studied his daughter for a moment before he obliged and dug into the porridge slowly. At this point, even swallowing hurts. His head was throbbing but Remus was determined to be up for his daughter. He knew his children and they would talk to him in their own time. Dora always said if there was anyone in this world who had the patience to wait it out of their children, it was him, their father. Eventually, Dany looked up from gazing into her lap and said, "do you remember what I told you in my seventh year? When you asked me what I wanted to do?"

Remus thought about it, swallowing another mouth of porridge painfully, "about writing? You wanted to write a novel but for practicality, you took up journalism instead, with the prophet,"

Dany nodded, looking down at her wringing fingers, "yes. I'm been writing a story. My first story ever. Would you like me to read it you?"

"I would love that very much, Dany," Remus smiled. Over dinner and to the time till Remus was nodding off, Dany told the story of a poor older man who had a hard life, burdened with prejudice from being a werewolf and had little in his life to be happy for. He eventually fell in love with a talented young woman who had a bright future ahead of her and an even brighter personality.

"He was walking. It was blindingly white. As he walked, he passed friends he haven't met since a lifetime ago and they smiled at him, waving. He smiled but he doesn't stop walking. Eventually he did. Before him, stood the love of his life; a wide smile on her face, tears in her eyes and looking as young and as beautiful as the last time he remembered. She rushed into his eager and waiting arms. No words needed to be said as he pressed a kiss into her hair, revelling in her presence in his embrace, his heart feeling fuller than he could remember."

Dany's voice trailed off. With his wife on his mind, her last letter clutched in his frail hand and a smile on his lips, Remus Lupin drifted off, ready and albeit gladly, to an eternal wakeless sleep.

Forgive me, my love. Know that your name is on my lips as I take my last breath and that you are always my last thought; in sleep and in death. Till we meet again, I will miss you, I will love you.

Yours always,
Nymphadora Lupin

A/N: And that is the end of How to Live! It was mainly how Remus and Dora lived after the war and how Remus lived after Dora's departure! I hope it was a great read for all of you and thank you so much for all the supportive reviews!

Remuslovesdora: Thank you for your lovely review! I'm glad I inspired you and gave you some much needed rest from work!

Lupinfamily4ever: Little Dora grew up really fast in his chapter so let me know how do you think she turned out! I'm glad you liked the scene with Teddy and Remus! Hope you enjoyed this chapter and thank you so much for your review!