Disclaimer: I do not own KHR!

Warning: Major OOC/FAIL attempt at humor (this is what happens when you ask me to write humor - don't say I didn't warn you)

Byakuran: Innocent Marshmallows and Naïve Chocolates

You watched in mild interest as Shoichi and Byakuran played Battleships in front of you while you munched on some foreign chocolates from Switzerland. Byakuran had childishly begged Shoichi to play out of boredom while Shoichi insisted he had work to do (unlike the Millifiore boss apparently). Eventually the weak-willed redhead relented to play since it would prevent him from doing any more treacherous work that usually resulted in nervous/emotional/mental breakdowns and of course, gruesome stomachaches.

As Byakuran patiently waited for Shoichi to plot his next move, he leaned back and announced, "I'm hungry." Shoichi lifted his wary gaze towards the violet-eyed figure and sighed when the latter asked, "Sho-chan, do you have any marshmallows?"

"Yeah, let me go get them…" Shoichi muttered, lifting himself out of the chair and dragging himself to his hidden stash of marshmallows, reserved especially for Byakuran. "If you even attempt to cheat, Byakuran, all your marshmallows will be roasting over my next bonfire," Shoichi called over his shoulder.

"Eh? Relax, Sho-chan, I won't! Don't be hasty now." Byakuran smiled uneasily, fearful for his innocent marshmallows just waiting to be united with him. "I didn't even know Sho-chan liked bonfires," Byakuran mused with a chuckle once Shoichi was out of earshot.

You paused thoughtfully for a moment before stating, "Shoichi-kun sometimes burns his paperwork because it gives him nightmares at night." And day, you added inwardly.

"Oh? Is that where all his work mysteriously disappears to?" Byakuran questioned curiously, an amused smile on his lips.

"Ehhh! That's…That's not true!" Shoichi exclaimed in alarm, an embarrassed blush staining his cheeks as he entered the room. He explained defensively, "I don't burn my paperwork at the bonfires!"

"Oh, I see," Byakuran's mouth was shaped like an O. "You probably shoved a stick through them and lightly toast them at the edges, right?"

"N-No!" Shoichi insisted, his blush darkening. "An–Anyway, I have to get back to work. Here are your marshmallows."

"You're the best, Sho-chan!" Byakuran chimed as Shoichi Irie headed for the door.

"I don't know why you like marshmallows so much. I think chocolate is a much better treat," you proclaimed as Byakuran stuffed his face with the soft confection.

An exaggerated gasp left Byakuran's lips as if he had just taken a direct hit to his ego. "How dare you insult the heavenly perfection that is marshmallows? None can equal its greatness!"

You begged to differ. "Chocolate is better by far," you simply stated in a matter of fact tone.

"No. Marshmallows are better," Byakuran challenged.

"Chocolate is the best," you countered.

"Marshmallows are the meaning of life," came the immature reply.

"Chocolate," you insisted.

"Marshmallows," was the stubborn retort.

"Chocolate!" you childishly remarked.

"Marshmallows!" was his amazingly childish whine.

"This is ridiculous!" you exclaimed, unable to continue such an annoying game. "Chocolate is better. End. Of. Story."

"WHAT! Unacceptable!"

"It only makes sense," you explained. "I mean, marshmallows don't even have a flavor - just sugar, I bet. Biting into that thing is like a one way ticket to a heart attack!"

"Well at least mine doesn't come from beans – beans from an ungodly tree thousands of miles away from here!" Byakuran fired back, intent on winning your little squabble.

You gave the mafia boss a strange look. "You mean cocoa beans?"

"Whatever~!"

"Cocoa beans aren't even real beans…! They're just called that!"

"Beans are beans! The fact remains the same," Byakuran insisted stubbornly.

"Well, at least I know where mine comes from! I mean what the hell are marshmallows anyway? Why does it have such a strange shape? Why does it feel like so weird? What, in the name of all that is edible, is it made of?

"It's made from the clouds of heaven of course~!" Byakuran stated proudly. "That's why it's so fluffy and soft." You remained silent at the stupidity of his answer. "You'd understand if you just tried one," Byakuran said, shoving a marshmallow in front of your face.

You frowned and turned your head away. "I already have. They're not that great." You much preferred your chocolate over his marshmallows.

Now, Byakuran, unused to being denied so much in one day, decided he would force you to see the light. "Give me those," Byakuran said irritably, snatching the chocolates from your hands and quickly holding it out of your reach.

"Hey, what are you doing?" you practically screeched. You tackled him when you found your arms were too short to seize your addictive sweets. This action led to both of you toppling to the floor in a very ungraceful manner.

You blinked when you realized you held a bag of marshmallows in your hands instead of your chocolates. "My marshmallows," Byakuran whined while eyeing the bag in your hands longingly.

"Give me back my chocolates and I'll give these back," you explained while holding out your free hand. You stared at each other for a moment without moving from your spots on the floor.

"No," Byakuran said firmly.

"You don't want them ba – " your grip on the marshmallows loosened when Byakuran suddenly placed his mouth upon yours. Byakuran quickly took his favorite sweets from your grasp and grinned triumphantly.

"Too naïve," he smirked teasingly.

Your glare was mixed with a pout. You eyed your chocolates and planned your revenge. You tackled him down and mimicked his earlier actions, successfully retrieving your chocolates. You quickly got up and said, "Now we're even."

You escaped the room while he stared up at the ceiling somewhat dazed, not having moved an inch from where you had left him. "Damn," he murmured.

. . .

. .

For Yamihanao

I'm aware the title doesn't make sense...a lot of things didn't...