Hi this is Benji Himura I am starting a new fanfic. I don't own Ragnarok online I also don't own the characters of that story or the plot; taking out the changes that I will make and the characters that I will create. I own Benji Himura and others characters that will show up in the story. It might be violence and sex in the story so if you are underage of seventeen are warned the content might be too improper to your age. Read by your own will and risk. In anyway enjoy the story.
Signed: Benji Himura
"Text"= Talked sentences.
'Text' = Thoughts.
-Text- = Sounds effects.
(Text)= Talked sentences in a foreign language
: Text: = Messages show in an electronic screen or written.
Text: something being recalled, flashbacks, scenes being replayed.
Text: a detail found in a location, scene, person, recording and images that originally wasn't there.
Chapter thirty five: Bound to happen
Elle lightly pats Rein's right shoulder. "It is all done." She said casually. "You are perfectly fine, your body is getting quite strong. It is just some soreness; you are after all doing a harsh training routine. With a couple days of rest you will be just like new." Elle then turns to Benji. "She is on the backlash stage, let her rest for a while, she needs to take easy, her body got too strong too fast." Elle said to him.
"Okay, I was planning on a break anyway, she did completed the first jobs course in six weeks." Benji replied with a nod. "I really had to make use of this time intensely, her body is adapting faster than mine did." "I know, it must be a kind of side effect from the embrace." Elle commented while storing her medical tools.
"I just want to know when I can get out of this room." Rein said while putting on her archer's outfit. "I am sick of being coped inside with monitored visits." "I will consider introducing you to the others after the weekend." Benji answered. "While you are holding the thirst back well, you haven't much contact with others without me around. So even if I allow you to hang with others will be next to me."
"Better than the current situation." Rein replied. "I want to at least see my sister, while you hand me letters from her and tell me that she is fine I want to see her." "I will also take that in consideration." Benji said. "I will send a maid here with some food, you want a new book or something like that?"
Rein thinks about the offer and decides to test the waters. "Can I have the maid to keep me company for a while?" Rein asked hopefully. "Maybe a board game or two as well if she can stay."
While Benji doesn't really want to let an Alice or Aliza alone with Rein when he isn't there, Rein did behaved pretty well and obeyed to his orders faithfully, and was trying really hard to fight the thirst and the lusts. So he decides to both reward her hard work and as well monitor the situation. "I will send two maids and Chris." Benji answered to Rein's happiness, she really wasn't expecting to be allowed to be alone with a maid.
Benji looks at his watch. "They will keep you company until the dinnertime." Benji added. Rein nods happily and thanks him passionately, she would have company without Benji around, it was a huge show of trust that he has on her, and it made her happy to have someone to talk to, even if was Benji's slaves.
Benji and Elle leave the room. "You think that is wise to do that?" Elle asked while they walk on the hall. "She deserves a reward, plus it will make her more pliable to my commands later." Benji answered. "And lastly if she does lose control is better with them, if it happens Chris can hold her down long enough for me to unsummon them, and if she can't do so other than getting a little energy there won't be any harm since I can summon them again later. If she loses control with them, then she isn't ready to be walking around."
Elle nodded understanding, a bit surprised in how Benji always found a way to both reward the girl but at the same time monitor her progress without her noticing or suspecting of anything. Still Elle was worried with a little over one month left for the drawbacks to end Benji was using a lot of energy for several things, some of them she considered as superfluous, all that balancing the changing girl.
"You lost weight again." Elle stated seriously. "I can tell." Benji sighed a little annoyed, he did lost some weight given the amount of things that he is doing. "And you were just getting back to your weight." She added with a sigh. "You are working too hard and not getting enough nutrition."
"It is hard to eat right outside." Benji said. "I know that I lost most of my fat reserves in my times in the desert, but I still have some reserve." "No you don't." Elle replied. "Your body long consumed it, you are losing vital lean mass, muscles consume a lot, the body starts to digesting it in cases of severe starvation." Elle said seriously. "You saw how much you lost after the second time in the desert. You can't rely solely on magic Benji, your body can't endure this kind of stress, specially when recovering from a even greater stress, without being able to naturally heal anything."
Benji knew all that but Rein was finally coming to shape and he couldn't just stop, and he definitely can't take anyone else to the places that he go. "While you hold a great deal of power I can still overpower you." Elle added seriously. "And I can count with everyone in this castle to tie you down on the bed if I have to, your lovers alone would be the fiercest in holding you, they can tell that you aren't so fully recovered yet."
The worse part is that Benji knew that it was truth, he didn't minded the attention, he could even live with Atsuko's massages that are closer to torture with all the stretching, pulling, cracking and bending that she forced his body on during it, he never thank nature for having a rather flexible body until she started that out. Benji had long lost the count in how many ways Atsuko can touch her head with her feet, and he can't really deny the sexiness of some of the positions that she can stretch into.
Layla was gentler in her care, but for her that meant being stuck in bed and not doing anything other than lying down, it took a long time to make her understand that he can get up and use the bathroom, eat for himself and to let him sit up and read a book, but other than that wasn't all that bad, she would be next to him ready to attend to any of his needs, Benji didn't minded being spoiled a little in that situation and Layla was starting to get in a more pleasant level.
Haruka was more simple minded, as long you take easy and don't do anything too hard you could do whatever you wanted, as long you remained in bed for few hours other than at night, she also would be there in case of any need. Erika was just Erika, healing magic, potions and some food to add to the resting and you are all tended, but she could be quite watchful as well.
Benji really don't want to revisit that experience anytime soon, he likes his mobility, and he really doesn't want to discover what Mutsumi believes to be a sick person's care, and Elle knew that, she knew that Benji loves his lovers but they could smother him easily, five women worth of attention can make that happen, so she played that card knowing that would make Benji listen to her.
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Layla overheard the conversation between Benji and Elle, it made her worried but she could tell that the healer convinced Benji to slow down, she had realized that Benji wasn't in his best shape, she thought that was because he was still recovering from the desert, but hearing that his body can't heal anything naturally made her really worried, it just wasn't possible for someone to not heal. Even with large loads and the enhanced recovery of adventurers restricted the body would still recover from things on its natural pace.
'I have heard them mentioning some drawbacks before, but they never explain what it is.' Layla thought while moving to Benji's office with hopes of talking to him after Elle did, and maybe make him explain what is going on, she never questioned why he was training Rein or why she is kept isolated from them, but something related to his health is far different from questioning his motives.
With that in mind Layla wait for twenty minutes outside the office's door until Elle leaves the room, Layla quickly stops fidgeting with the hilt's stripe and wraps the stripe back to her sword's hilt and enters on the office. She finds Benji adjusting his clothes as usual after Elle's check up.
"Goshujin-sama." Layla called. "Is everything okay?" "Not any worse than normal." Benji replied playfully. "So that is progress." Layla smiled at that, she liked the way that he tried to make things sound not bad as might be. "And your body?" Layla asked worried, she knew that Benji would either tell her or hint that he was fine because her worry.
"Not bad, just the usual stuff." Benji answered, it was true, and he was so used to it that wasn't much of a problem to him anymore. "Slow down." Layla pleaded while kneeling next to him. "You are doing too much again." She knew that unless she made him stop he wouldn't. "I don't care for that girl that you are training but you are hurting yourself again."
Benji really felt bad, Layla was holding on him, kneeled on the floor and on the verge of tears, sometimes he just forgets that her feelings for him are much deeper than he can see. Benji gently strokes her hair, he doesn't really know what to say, what he can do to comfort her, he knows that above everything he would get hurt if a situation requires it.
"Why you try so hard?" Layla asked softly, the caress did eased her worries a little, his touch always do that. "I am not sure of if myself." Benji answered honestly. "I just do, I am not much different than you, if I asked you why you love me so much you wouldn't be able to answer it exactly would you?"
Layla shakes her head softly, while she wanted to say yes she knew better, deep down she just can't pinpoint every reason why she loves him so much, she gets more everyday, she just loves him, it was all that she needed to know and show. So she just hold tighter on his legs and presses her face against his thighs.
"I don't care where you take her." Layla said seriously. "Take me with you as well, if I can ease your burden even a little it will be more than worth it. I know that you go alone to protect us, but let us do the same, love is a two way road." Benji can't contest that, but he just can't take Layla there, he went to such isolated places to release some of his instincts and unleash stress with violence, things that he doesn't want to show to anyone.
"I don't want you to see some of things that I do there." Benji told her in a serious tone. "If you think that what I did to Vana when I arrived was bad I can do much worse." Layla looks up to him. "Master you saw the worse of me and still accept me as yours, how I could turn away from you if you do the same?" Layla asked seriously and passionately. "You know my past, my suffering and you still made me your bride. Master you could do things that would destroy the soul of men and I would still love you as much as I do now, if not more because I am seeing more of you."
Benji really couldn't find words to reply to her honest and passionate words, while he knows that they are true, he still had doubts. "I am yours to do anything that you wish, no matter what it is." Layla whispered passionately. Benji kisses the passionate silver head. "That is true, but I still don't want to show you that part of me." Benji said with a bitter smile. "I am not as strong as you are."
"I am willing to wait." Layla replied hugging him. "And you are stronger than I am; I have no doubts of that. I don't care how long it takes master, I can wait for you to show me everything." "I am not sure if I want to show you that I eat monsters every now and then." Benji commented.
"Just that?" Layla asked a bit surprised, she was expecting something more gory than that. "Monster eating isn't all that uncommon, we even have cookbooks about it." Benji frowned at that. "And why whenever I mention it people get grossed out?" Benji asked confused, every time that he mentions that people get either grossed or curious, most of the time grossed.
"In some regions monster eating is uncommon, in others if fairly common, monsters are a great source of nutrients." Layla explained in a matter of fact tone. "Food made with monsters give bonuses as well. I can make you something if you want to." Benji actually thinks in accepting the offer, looking back every time that he ate a monster it was raw and unseasoned, being that one of the reasons that he carries salt around.
"I think that I will pass." Benji replied. "But I really appreciate the offer, I will keep monsters as a emergency food supply." "Just let me know if you change your mind." Layla said with a smile. "I have a cook book about that. But is that your worse than Vana thing? I think that is quite tame."
"I eat monsters raw or alive." Benji explained. Layla let out a little 'Oh' about it. "And how it tastes?" She asked curious. "Bland." Benji answered. "Well monsters of the poring family just taste bad. Monsters with flesh taste like nothing, well like raw unseasoned meat."
"Still tame." Layla commented. "We eat that sashimi stuff. Even that live type with the fish head still 'breathing'." "I can be messy." Benji said casually. "I just prefer not eating monsters with you and the others around. Besides I don't just eat monsters, I can also just let go of stuff without anyone around."
"So you don't want us to see what you can do." Layla said seriously. "It isn't that I don't trust in you, but I don't want you trying to do what I do." Benji explained. "I don't even know how I do half of the stuff that I do without getting hurt. If you or the others see me doing something, I am pretty sure that at least one of you would try copying me."
Layla can't deny that, everyone was learning a lot together, Layla was mastering the new sword style thanks to sparing with Benji and Alexis, Atsuko often got lessons from Elle in karate that greatly improved the monk's own style, Benji usually was there to get the lessons as well, and Haruka more often than not was trying new spells with different degrees of success.
So if Benji gets a new move they would try to use it, and Layla still remember when Haruka tried to teach her how to use Benji's blade knocking move, she can still feel the wooden sword hitting her head and shoulder. "I guess that I can respect that, but I still want to help." Layla finally said. "I worry about you, and you have the bad habit of not telling us important things, as if you are overworked or hurt."
Benji really can't deny that, he does keeps tons of things from Layla and the others, sometimes was to protect them, others to have tactical advantages and avoid accidental information leakage, others was just to not worry them, and few other times was just to keep things for himself or in privacy.
Deciding to put a stop on the conversation Benji distracts Layla with a kiss, knowing that she always relaxes with it, from there it was easy to go further away from the subject without a protest from her.
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Elle was pleased Benji seemed to be taking easy as she told him to, Rein was doing fine with the maids as well and was even allowed to have their company more during the day, and it has been a week since it begun and Rein haven't show any signs of desperate thirst.
Happy with the results Elle writes them down in a blank book, given her medical knowledge and mindset Elle recorded carefully any changes in the outcasts that she knows and exams regularly, trying to understand what happens to them or why they are there.
And keeping such journals it was also what kept her sane, she needed to do that, she wasn't like Benji who could just adapt and stop trying to understand or care for the details or why things happens to them, even though it was easier for them just to do so, and unlike Junko she couldn't find peace in burying herself in the mystical powers that they can get.
Critically analyzing the changes, seeing how their bodies change and adapt give her a sense of safety, it wasn't something made by pure chance, there was a pattern on it, even though she still can't see it. Adding to the theories that she heard from Benji and Junko Elle wonders if they are right, that they are there to fight something.
Even with years worth of research Elle is still surprised with every new discovery, while knowing that Benji is clearly hiding several abilities from her Elle could tell that he learned a lot of things in secret and holds them as some sort of last resort ace in the hole, that added with all the changes that she sees on him makes her worried, if he ever runs out of control she isn't sure that he can be stopped, not with the feats that he is able to do.
While Elle is thinking on Benji's secrets Benji is indeed up something, it was clear to everyone, that because he is wearing a complete full plate armor, carrying a closed eyeless helmet, not even a inch of skin is exposed, and the joints of the armor, especially the neck is reinforced with extra metal plates.
"What are you up to?" Makie asked to Benji, she can't see why he would wear such cumbersome armor, while he is walking the armor was clearly heavy and not made to move fast because its thickness. "Training something." Benji answered. "I learned from watching that what I am about to train shouldn't be trained without the proper protection gear."
"A closed and walking metal coffin without eye holes?" Makie asked confused. "Less chances of getting killed while training." Benji answered. "Anyway I am going to the depot nine, no one is supposed to go there and try to peek, there is a very tangible risk of death."
Makie nodded gravely, if Benji who is almost a walking tank by himself is so reluctant in doing whatever he is doing without that kind of armor then it was better to hear his words, it was better being safe than sorry. Makie does notices that Benji is also carrying a venom knife and wonder what kind of training it is.
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Atsuko isn't feeling all that well, in her room she groans tiredly, it has been few days since she got sick, keeping it a secret was hard, in the end she told them that could be something that she ate, but at the same time refused to let Elle exam her. Atsuko could tell that made Benji quite worried, which made her happy, but she doesn't want anyone learning the truth.
Helen finds Atsuko on her sleeping clothes and looking pale, knowing that Helen was a good healer and took care of Atsuko Benji called her, if she doesn't want Elle to check on her then he called someone that he knew that she wouldn't refuse. "What are you feeling?" Helen asked after they greet each other.
"My stomach is quite upset, my body is sore and I can't keep anything down." Atsuko answered sited on the bed. "At first I thought that it could be morning sickness, but I am not so sure." Helen looks at the younger girl, knowing her secret Helen really hoped that she wasn't pregnant, even that being Atsuko's greatest wish.
By command Atsuko takes out her top and Helen runs her right hand on her back with her eyes closed. After several moments and small instructions that were all followed Helen let out a long and heavy sigh. "You will die you know it?" Helen asked seriously. "Your body can't take the stress."
Instead of being sad Atsuko smiles widely. "So I am pregnant?" She asked back hopefully. "Very much." Helen answered. "Why you didn't wait longer? Give yourself more years?" Atsuko shakes her head softly. "Transcendency halved my life expectancy, you said that I would at the tops live until I was fifty and something." Atsuko answered seriously. "I have twenty and two, I don't have many more years, if possible I wanted to see my child to grow even if is just for a short while. I am not sure even sure that I can call it a regret but I wanted to see how stronger as a champion I could get, but if I place this child and that desire side to side the child is more precious to me."
Helen sighed, she knew that Atsuko's mind was set, but she was still against it. "We have no idea of how your body will react to this Atsuko." Helen said somberly. "Look at you, you barely are on what, the first weeks, and you are already looking sick and frail."
"It isn't like I wasn't aware of this." Atsuko said while putting her shirt back on. "Honestly what surprised me the most is that I could live such an active lifestyle in my condition, and I did plan on taking easy on this period." "Atsuko we are speaking on a very real chance of you not making through this pregnancy." Helen replied. "It isn't safe, we don't even know if either you or the child will survive."
"We will." Atsuko said with a smile. "I am happy with your concern, I really am, but I never hid from you the fact that my second goal was to gain immortality through my child, I will live on with her, in her blood, in the memories of everyone. I am happy enough in experiencing the joy of an adventurer, maybe is time for me to try the happiness of a woman."
Atsuko wasn't going to budge, Helen can tell that, even if she did, Helen isn't sure if she would be able to do something, unnatural abortation was against the church's creed, and she doesn't support it either.
"I will speak with that Elle woman." Helen said seriously. "And with few midwives. And don't even think in contesting this, I might help in keeping this a secret of Benji for a while, but don't even think in doing anything stupid, I am not sure if your health with deteriorate with this, and I won't allow you to do any kind of hard work."
Atsuko doesn't protest, Helen stands up and leave the room, she had to think in how tell to Elle about Atsuko's pregnancy and her special condition, knowing very well that won't be an easy talk, specially convincing her to keep it a secret from Benji.
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Elle listens in silence to everything that Helen said, in a way she is surprised in hearing that, Atsuko was as far as she knows as healthy as a horse, to learn that her health was that frail is quite surprising, however what made Elle really interested in the conversation was the part that Atsuko was pregnant, it wasn't a secret that Atsuko was Benji's lover and only have sex with him, so the father was surely him.
For Elle that was really important it confirmed that it was possible for an outcast to have a child with someone native from Rune, but the delicate state of health that Atsuko is in worries her a lot, mostly because if Atsuko and the child die Elle won't get the answers that she wants.
"I am not sure if I can do much about it." Elle said seriously once Helen was done. "I am not an expert in heart conditions. Even if her particular condition isn't something that she was born with. At the best what I can do is monitor her health and try to prevent complications."
"That is all that I ask." Helen replied. "I really care for Atsuko, she had a harsh life and as much as I want to stop her, her mind is set in having this child, it is something that she wanted for a long time."
"I have to tell this to Benji." Elle announced firmly. "As the father as well Atsuko's lover he needs to know this. The best that I can do is let Atsuko tell him herself, but in one way or another he needs to learn that, tell her that she has until lunch tomorrow to tell him."
Helen nodded unwillingly, she knows that Elle is right, Benji has the right to know what is going on, but it wasn't exactly easy to tell to someone that you have an expiration date. Elle watches Helen leaving and pulls a book from her drawer, she starts to write things down on it, every bit of information that she got from Helen.
Helen tells to Atsuko about Elle's ultimatum, it pained her to see Atsuko's pained smile. "I knew that sooner or later I would have to tell him this." Atsuko said with looking at her hands. "But it doesn't make it any easier. It is a bit unfair to have a deadline for this, I am not ready for it yet."
"Is the price to pay for what you wanted." Helen replied seriously. "You wanted a good lover and a child, you have to deal with everything on that, the good and the bad." Atsuko nodded agreeing. "Mind in telling him to come here?" Atsuko asked. "I guess that is better to hammer the iron while is still hot."
Atsuko was scared, even with her last conversation with Benji about that subject revealed that he had a rather positive view, she was still scared of telling him that she was pregnant and could die either in birth or shortly afterwards. So when Benji enters on the room a short while after Helen left Atsuko was very uneasy.
"Helen said that you wanted to see me." Benji said in a mix of a worried and gentle tone. Atsuko nods meekly, that wasn't how she imagined telling to the man that she loves that she is expecting a child of his, but again she was also telling him that she might die anytime soon.
Benji sits on the bed next to Atsuko, he can tell her uneasiness, it was easy, the normally strong willed and active champion was really hesitant, so he decides to wait until she is ready to talk to him, inwardly hoping that she is fine or will recover soon. Atsuko leans against Benji's body and wraps his left arm around her shoulders.
"I have two things to tell you." Atsuko said softly. "One is bad, the second is good, at least I think that is good." Benji just hold Atsuko tighter as he replied. "Give the bad first, at least the good will make it less bad." Atsuko smiled at that, she isn't sure if will lift his spirits afterwards.
"You remember the scar that I have in the lower part of my left breast?" Atsuko asked. "Yes, I asked about it a couple of times and you never told me how you got it." Benji answered, while wondering where it would lead, he kind of has an idea of where it was going as well.
"You also remember when I told you about how my village was attacked by monsters?" Atsuko asked seriously. Benji nodded confirming, he does remember it well. "I kind of hid the fact that I was badly hurt then." Atsuko confessed softly. "One of the monsters drove a spear on my chest, right in the heart, while Helen saved me she also told me that I might not live as long as I could before I got the wound and I might as well die with some sort of problem on my heart. Elle came here earlier and said that I have some sort of scarring and thinner heart tissues, she did used some terms that I didn't understood, but she said that I have a potential hole in my heart, she said that it can't be treated, it has been too long, the damage is already there. The baseline is that I can die at any moment, and at the best I have two or three more years to live."
Benji was surprised with the revelation, but at the same time he saw it coming thanks to her previous question. "But if you have such a sensitive heart how could you do all that I saw you doing?" Benji asked confused, he saw Atsuko fighting hard and for long periods of time, she felt her heart racing more than few times.
Atsuko smiled bitterly at that. "Training." She answered. "I trained hard, that is why it took me years to become an adventurer, I trained my heart, I made it stronger so it would work better with the weakness, I am also a monk, we train to master our bodies, so it was easy to learn how to strengthen my heart enough to fight as I did, the heart is made of muscles, so training it allowed me to do this, it works well enough to give me a good life. But it is a delicate balance."
"Why it happened now?" Benji asked, if she was fine just few weeks earlier not doing anything unusual how she was in bed like that. "And that brings me to the good news." Atsuko answered. "I am pregnant, I think that has been a little less than one month now."
Benji was again surprised, but somehow ready for it, he did spoke with Atsuko about that and knew that she wanted a family, and he wasn't really surprised that someone ended knocked up with the amount of unprotected sex that they have, most of the times when he tries to pull away they almost cry, or even hold him in place with their legs.
"Why I am not surprised that you aren't all that surprised?" Atsuko asked teasingly and a bit annoyed, it was a big surprise, she was expecting more of a reaction from him. "First I always got this 'I want to have babies with you' vibe from you." Benji answered casually. "Second we have that chat a while ago when you asked me how I felt in starting a family, so it wasn't much for a surprise thanks to that, lastly I come inside of you ninety percent of the times that we have sex, I have to ask when I want something other than that, and your lower lip always quiver when I do it outside."
"I didn't know that." Atsuko commented, she was surprised that Benji noticed details like that when they are making love, but it did make her feel warm inside that he paid that much attention to her when they do it, while she didn't minded the other stuff that they did together she still felt the best when he ejaculated inside of her and filled her womb. "And I also thought that you would respond more negatively to this."
"It wouldn't change anything." Benji replied. "I knew that it would happen sooner or later, I was hoping later, but things never happen how I planed here. Besides what good it would be to stress you more? I love you and we have been together this long with that secret of yours, just knowing it now won't change anything."
"And here was I hoping to get some preferential treatment." Atsuko said in mock disappointment, she was really happy that Benji didn't act as she feared. "You will get plenty of that given your pregnancy status and not because some heart problem." Benji said teasingly. "And not only from me."
Now Atsuko groaned, she lives in a castle where ninety nine percent of the inhabitants are women, that kind of news would make every one of them excited over it. "And there goes my calm pregnancy that I hoped to get." Atsuko muttered, but the smile forming on her lips show her true feelings.
Benji smiled at that and holds Atsuko a little tighter. Surprised she looks up at him. "Since you had enough courage to tell me such a big secret I will tell you one of mine." Benji said seriously, Atsuko could tell that was serious just by the way that he is now hugging her, it wasn't the kind of hug induced by fear of her leaving him, but the type that is given to comfort her when she is afraid or scared of something, and she holds on him tightly already afraid of whatever it is, but too curious to stop him from saying it, it was ironic how much she wanted him to not tell him anything at the same time that she wants to hear it so badly.
"I might disappear at any moment." Benji said seriously. "I don't mean just being sent to a distant corner of Rune, but truly disappearing from this world without any given notice." Atsuko shivered strongly at that, now she understood why she was being held so tightly, so strongly, it was her biggest fear, having Benji disappearing from her.
"I am not from Rune-Midgard." Benji continued. "I came from what I believe to be a different dimension, I don't know how I came here, why or even how to go back or if I am here forever, or even if I will be removed from this world so suddenly as I was from my own. That is why when we met I was so reluctant of starting a lasting relationship; it would hurt too much if I was suddenly sent away."
Atsuko hold him tighter and fights her fear and despair. "Why you are telling me this?" Atsuko asked with a shaky voice. "You told me your deepest secret." Benji answered. "It was only fair if I told you mine." Atsuko knew that, but still was hard for her. "Anyone else knows?" She asked.
"Other than others like me I only told to Layla." Benji answered seriously. Atsuko's fear is driven back by jealously. "Why Layla?" She asked angrily. "And when you told her that?" "Before I officially started to date you." Benji answered. "And before you snap I want to point out that was Layla to made me decide to take my chances and have lasting relationships not only with her but with you and everyone else."
Atsuko couldn't really get mad at that, Layla did do that. "And while I was discussing what to do with her I voice my fears." Benji added. "That meant that I told her why I didn't want to love anyone or have any loved one here. And it was that secret that made Layla accept you here as well, the fact that she knew something that you didn't made her feel more secure about herself."
Atsuko knew that Layla was pretty unsure about herself and her ability to keep Benji happy, she also knew why Layla was like that, so she couldn't get mad at that, sure she and Layla became sort of friends as they got to know each other, and they became intimate enough to not mind having the other in bed with Benji, or sharing him at the same time.
"When I discussed that with Layla I decided to make my time here the fullest." Benji said seriously. "I would love as much as I can, eat as much as I can, drink as much, enjoy the life as fully as possible." Atsuko could so relate to that, it was how she lived; she decided if she couldn't live long then she would live the little that she has the most that she could.
"And what you will do now?" Atsuko asked worried. "I guess that we can only prepare to what is coming." Benji answered. "We see if we can do anything to make your heart better and keep both you and the baby safe."
Atsuko smiled at that, it was sweet of him to think like that. "I don't think that there is anything that can fix my heart." Atsuko said while lightly kissing him. "I have long made peace with this Benji, so please don't worry so much about it."
"How can I not worry about it?!" Benji exclaimed surprising her. "No one wants to see a loved one dying, especially without being able to do anything about it, in this world of magic there has to be a way to heal your heart."
"Even if it does exist how long it would take to find it?" Atsuko asked softy, it made her so happy to see him that passionate about her well being. "Would it be worth to expend an unknown amount of time obsessively searching for something that might not even exist when we have a set amount of time together? Missing the development of your first child? Losing her first moments or even years?"
Benji felt a lump on his throat over Atsuko's argument, and there really wasn't an easy answer, not searching would mean losing Atsuko, while searching would remove the time that they have together in a quest that might be futile, it was a no win situation. "I know that won't be easy." Atsuko said gently caressing his face. "You think that is easy to me just accept that I won't be here to see our child growing? But nothing can change this, what we can do is make best with what we got and make happy memories."
Benji felt really powerless, he had all that power, all that ability to do amazing stuff but nothing that he could do could repair Atsuko's heart and save her life. Benji frowns lightly and recalls what he did to Rein, while it worked on Rein Benji is afraid of trying that on Atsuko, or giving to Atsuko the same problems that he has.
Holding the blonde tighter Benji thinks if he could do that to Atsuko, he failed it once and succeeded it once, not enough odds or information for him to try, he might as well kill Atsuko or doom her to the same problems that he and Rein have. "I don't know what you are thinking about." Atsuko whisper softly. "Just let it go okay?"
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Only a long time later Benji leaves Atsuko's bedroom, outside it Helen and Elle were waiting. "Not even a way?" Benji asked to them once the door is closed, he had stayed with Atsuko until she fell on sleep.
"Sorry there is nothing." Elle answered. "The best that I can do is to check on her regularly and try to treat any symptoms or prevent anything bad. I am no cardiologist." "If there was anything I would have done it a long ago." Helen answered in a plain tone, if was possible she would have it done. "For the record I am against this, but it is her wish so I will support it."
Benji let out a long sigh. "I will ask around, maybe someone knows something." Benji said. "This world is filled with magic, there has to be something." "You think that you will have more success than I did?" Helen asked angrily. "The world is bigger now." Benji replied calmly. "We have more known areas, maybe in one of them someone knows something."
Helen can't deny that, there were new places to look for it. "Anyway I don't want just to watch her die without doing anything." Benji added. "I might not search as intensely as I want to, but I can as well ask some people to do so." Helen could accept that.
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"Just spit it out." Benji said to Elle once they are alone in his office. "It is written all over your face." Elle chuckled at that. "Fine, I am excited with this." Elle said casually. "An outcast and a native had produced a child. It is the hard proof that I needed, still I would be glad to have evidence of a female outcast getting pregnant."
"I am not even sure if I can do this." Benji commented. "My father is a total jerk, and was absent most of my life, I am so not ready for this, and I still have Juichi and other enemies bothering me above everything else." "You handle Maria just fine." Elle commented. "Sure you have help but you do a good job, give yourself a chance."
'Talking is easy.' Benji thought with a sigh, it was a responsibility that he wasn't sure if he was ready for it or able to shoulder it. 'I have easier times killing people.' "Anyway about what Atsuko said." Benji said to the healer. "I want a bit more of detail and forget the medical terms."
It was Elle's turn of sighing. "Well resuming everything her heart is damaged but at the same time is strong." Elle said seriously. "She trained in a way to make it able to pump more blood with less beats, which allowed her to lead this active lifestyle, however that gives an extra strain to the damaged area. In short if she had lived as a commoner she would be a rather weakly person, any physical strain would either tire her out or risk her life. I am not sure about her life quality if that was the case, but as an adventurer what she did while risky it paid off well, the extra vitality and healing abilities of an adventurer kept her heart working even damaged, in a delicate balance."
"So the pregnancy caused this." Benji concluded. "Yes, but I believe that this physical frailty is temporary. Pregnancy is known for affecting a woman's body." Elle replied. "While I don't see her being fit for adventuring or hard physical work, she will be able to live a 'commoner's' life while pregnant." "Yet it is a theory." Benji pointed out. "But I can live with that happening, is much better than the option."
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Atsuko wakes after the lunch hour, a bit disappointed that she finds herself alone in the bed, but she knows that Benji has other pressing issues as well, so she settles with what she got. Atsuko doesn't notice an Aliza nearby who just leaves the room. Startled Atsuko sees the Aliza returning with a cart with food on it.
"Master has placed me to serve you." Aliza said while entering on the bedroom. "Elle had selected the meal for you and I don't think that I have to point out who told you to make yourself eat it, do I?" "No you don't." Atsuko replied while sitting up, she can easily see Helen, Benji and Elle telling her to push the food down her throat.
"Where is Benji?" Atsuko asked while Aliza places a tray over her legs. "Master is currently outside the castle taking care of some business." Aliza answered while make sure that the feet of the tray are firm on the bed. "He should be back at the latest as dinnertime."
Atsuko can't complain about that, she looks at the food that she was offered, it wasn't that she doesn't like it, but rice porridge was a bit bland for her liking. Aliza places the bowl over the tray and takes the side dishes as well, some soft boiled fish, pickled vegetables and lastly a fruits salad.
Taking the spoon from the maid Atsuko starts to eat the porridge, after few moments she swallows it down. "You added those powdered eggshells here haven't you?" Atsuko asked to the maid. "As instructed by Elle, calcium is important for you now." Aliza answered. "The broth used was as well made more nutritional."
Atsuko can't really get mad with that, they are taking extra care that she will have a healthy pregnancy, besides it wasn't all that bad, she just have to ignore the slight gritty feeling.
End of the chapter thirty five:
Author explanation corner:
Monster cooking: When I started the story and Benji eating monsters, food made from monsters wasn't something available in RO, so it was shocking and stuff. However they released a chapter or something were cookbooks became available and food made with monster pieces became normal, they even give bonuses and stuff like that, and can be worth quite a lot of money.
Anyway for Benji monster food was something that he didn't knew that existed and expected negative feelings if that habit became well known by the guild. I decided to play a bit with that and throw a 'just that?' attitude on the discussion, kind make he thinks if all his worries are unfounded, after all, after everything that he has done the girls aren't really caring about it, no matter what it is.
Training with solid armor: Secret for now.
Atsuko's health and pregnancy: For the pregnancy it was bound to happen sooner or later given the amount of sex hinted on the story. Anyway this was planned from the very beginning, as Atsuko's frail heart. Please anyone with medical knowledge do not point out on the contradiction of the situation, there was worse things than this displayed in anime before, so no flames related to that okay? Well if you happen to know an exact condition similar to that and want to tell me about I would appreciate it.
Back to the explanation, as told in the story Atsuko's health is in a delicate balance, the pregnancy altered it causing Atsuko to fall ill until her body adjusts to it, that if adjusts to it. I will focus more on this later.
Rein: I am still not done with her, but will give her a little break for now.