The Truth Comes Out

The truth of the matter was that he didn't want to go upstairs and sit all alone in his apartment. The truth of the matter was that he was sad. And confused. He was sad because April's opportunity meant that he'd have less time with her than he had hoped. The plans that he had made had to be scrapped. He had been looking forward to having the best lobster he'd ever had, even though he'd only had it once before. Even though he'd be having it with the other woman in his life. The confusion came in with the wave of relief that he felt about not leaving Stars Hollow. He wanted that time with his daughter, but he also wanted to see what was going to happen with this tenuous relationship he felt that he and Lorelai were building. He watched as Lane and Zach walked slowly toward the bar and sighed as he finished cleaning up for the night. He really didn't want to go upstairs. He knew what he'd see. The single bed, neatly made with the colorful comforter purchased at Target and the double bed that had been sleeping single for too long. He looked across the square at K.C.'s, knowing that she would be there too. Karaoke night, he thought, shaking his head, knowing that he was already halfway there. Giving in, he turned out the lights and locked the diner door behind him.

As he walked through the door, the first thing he saw was Lorelai, standing on stage belting out a ballad with all she had. When their eyes met, he smiled and gave her a small nod as he crossed to the bar. She stumbled over the words a little as he ordered a beer, and then he picked up the mug and turned to watch the show. He settled back against the bar and found her eyes fixed on him as she sang the love song. He smiled affectionately, marveling at her ability to do this stuff. Stand up there in front of the whole town and sing for all to hear. No way, he could never do it. As she continued, he listened to the words she sang, and realized she was actually singing to him. He felt his heart begin to hammer in his chest as she sang of wanting him to have joy and happiness in his life. A lump lodged firmly in his throat as she sang of wishing him love. As she launched into the chorus again, he looked down, the words roaring in his ears as he tried to force the lump down, and blink back the sudden rush of moisture he felt threatening. He looked up, unable to tear his eyes from hers as she sang out. She finished softly, gave a small apologetic shrug that was so typically Lorelai, and then dashed from the stage.

Luke felt his knees weaken slightly as he braced himself against the bar, and tired not to make eye contact with the townies as they craned their necks to look at him. He turned away, facing the bar as he took a large gulp of his beer, hoping to steady his nerves. He had to go, to get out of there, but if he bolted now, it would be even worse. He took a surreptitious glance around to see who all was in attendance, and knew that escape was impossible. A moment later, he felt someone nudge his arm and heard Zach saying excitedly, "Hey! You made it. That's so cool! We have a table right over here," he said as he tugged on Luke's arm.

"Oh, no," Luke started to protest as Zach started to pull him over to the table where Rory and Lane sat, anxiously awaiting Lorelai's return. But Zach would not be deterred, and Luke didn't want to make a scene. He walked over to the table with the younger man and smiled uneasily as he said, "Hey, Rory. Hey, Lane."

"Oh, I'm so glad you came out," Lane said to Luke sincerely, shooting Rory a nervous look.

"Hi, Luke," Rory said self consciously.

"Sit, sit," Zach insisted as he practically shoved Luke into the chair across from Rory.

Luke looked up from his beer with a an awkward smile and said gruffly, "Seems weird, seeing you two in a bar."

Rory smiled and said, "Yeah, I bet."

Luke chuckled nervously and said, "I guess, when I see you together, I still see you guys as little, ya know?"

"Yeah, that has to be weird," Lane said with a nod.

"Hey, Babe? I'm gonna go talk to Morey for a minute," Zach said to Lane as Gypsy took the stage. "Be right back," he said as he hurried away.

"I should, I need," Rory stammered. "I'm gonna go check on Mom," she said quietly as she got up and headed toward the ladies' room located near the stage.

Once Rory left, Luke looked down at the empty glasses on the table and said, "So, I guess Lorelai had a little Dutch courage, huh?"

"Yeah," Lane said with a solemn nod.

"I could never do that," he said, gesturing to the stage. "No matter how much booze you fed me," he said with a laugh.

"Yeah well, Lorelai and tequila," Lane said with a shrug.

"Lethal," Luke said with a sage nod as he took a sip of beer.

"Like at our wedding," Lane said as she looked at him steadily.

"Wedding?" Luke asked blankly.

"Yeah. When Zach and I got married, she had a little too much that night," Lane said as she watched him carefully.

"Oh, yeah. I heard about that. 'Endless Love,' wasn't it?" he said with a laugh.

Lane stared at him for a moment and then said in a serious tone, "No, Luke."

"No?" he asked.

Lane sighed and asked, "You mean to tell me that after all of this time, no one ever told you what really happened that night?" When Luke looked at her blankly she shook her head and muttered, "This town."

"What about it?" he asked gruffly.

Lane leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table as she asked, "If I tell you the truth, do you promise that Zach or I will still have a job?"

"What? The truth about what? Why wouldn't you have a job?" he asked incredulously.

"Because no one wanted to tell you, everyone wanted to protect Lorelai, so they made up the singing story," Lane said with a shrug.

"Protect her from what?" Luke asked shaking his head.

Lane sat back and looked at him steadily for a moment before she smiled sadly and said, "From you, Luke."

XXXX

"Mom?" Rory called as she pushed open the ladies room door, wincing at the stench of fresh vomit as she stepped into the room. She heard a soft sniffle from the single stall and pressed her hand to the metal door. "Mom, are you alright? Can I get you anything?" Rory asked gently.

"My dignity?" Lorelai asked in a raspy voice.

Rory smiled at the lame joke and answered with one of her own, "Please, I've never known you to have any dignity."

"Oh Rory," Lorelai said softly.

"You wanna go home?" Rory asked her.

"Is he still out there?" Lorelai asked raggedly.

"Yeah, but we can slip out the back, if you want," Rory offered.

Lorelai sighed and said, "I feel so stupid."

Rory shook her head and said, "There's no reason for you to feel stupid. You sang a lovely song for me. Thank you, Mom," she said with quiet determination.

Lorelai opened the stall door and looked at her daughter. "I did sing it for you. I mean, I meant to sing it for you."

Rory nodded slowly and said, "Well then, you and I know what that was all about, right?" Lorelai glanced at her shoes and then gave her daughter a tremulous smile. "I'll go get our stuff and we'll slip out the back, Jack," she said with a nod.

"Way to make a new plan, Stan," Lorelai answered, hooking her thumbs into the loops of her jeans and hunching her shoulders protectively.

"I'll be right back," Rory said as she reached for the door handle. "Of course, I'll expect an encore in which you only have eyes for me," she teased.

"How is he? I mean, how did he…" Lorelai stammered.

"He's a little shaky, I think," Rory said with a nod. She turned as she walked through the door and said over her shoulder, "But, he's still here. He didn't bolt."

Lorelai nodded as she digested the information. "I wanna go home," she said softly.

"We're going. You stay here," Rory said as she let the door close between them. She hurried back to the table and found Lane and Luke deep in conversation. As she approached, she heard Lane say bluntly, 'From you, Luke,' before they both glanced up at her, surprised by her sudden reappearance. She picked up their purses and said, "We're gonna go. Lane, I'll see you in the morning, okay?" she asked as she glanced around to make sure she wasn't missing any of their belongings. She gave Luke a small, tight smile and said, "See you, Luke."

"Yeah, see ya, Rory," he answered dully. The moment Rory left the table, Luke leaned forward and hissed, "What the hell do you mean, protect her from me?"

Lane sighed and said, "Let's move over there," as she gestured to a quieter corner at the opposite end of the room. She stood up and walked away, leaving Luke to follow her.

When he slowly approached, crossing his arms protectively over his chest Lane sighed and said, "Luke, you know we love you. You've been so good to me and to Zach, and we appreciate everything that you do for us and the boys," she said sincerely. She fidgeted with her hands nervously and said, "This past year was really hard for me." She laughed and said, "Not as hard for me as it was for you and for Lorelai, but hard. I care about you both. Lorelai practically raised me in a non-Mama Kim kind of way," she said with a shrug. "And, I also got to hear it all from Rory," she said with a wince. She looked up at him and said awkwardly, "I know what happened, you know."

"Oh," he said as he lowered his arms and shoved his hands into his back pockets, staring at the floor.

"But, you know, Rory wasn't here every day she didn't see it all. Working in the diner. Watching it all fall apart," Lane said gently.

Luke sighed and asked gruffly, "What's the truth, Lane?"

Lane looked around and said, "Well, you were gone with April, and the wedding was, well, I think the wedding kind of upset Lorelai." She shook her head and said, "I mean, I know she was happy for me and Zach, but I think it really made her realize what was happening with you guys. Or not happening," she added with a pointed look. "Anyway, Rory told me that Lorelai was messing with her phone, looking at pictures and came across one of her and April that they took at the thing Jess had, you know?" she said, jogging his memory. "Lorelai got really upset, although she wouldn't admit it. The next thing you know, she's pounding shot after shot of tequila," she told him. "When it was time to give the speeches, Rory did her toast, and then all of a sudden, Lorelai was up on stage with the microphone," she said shaking her head. "She didn't sing, Luke. I wish she had, that would have been so much better. She stood up in front of the whole town and gave a toast, congratulating me on my ability to get married," she said as she looked up at him. "How a girl she had known most of her life had beaten her to the altar, and how she just wasn't meant to have that or something. She kept going on and on about June third, and how June third wasn't going to be her wedding day," she said, wincing at the memory.

"Why didn't anyone tell me?" Luke asked incredulously.

Lane shrugged and said, "I don't know. We left for our honeymoon, and when we got back, the singing thing was the story we were given and told to stick to. Even though by then things had…" she trailed off. "I guess Patty and Babette figured that you just had cold feet, and that you'd come around," she said uncomfortably. "It was hurting everyone to watch it, Luke. You were so oblivious, so focused on April, that you didn't see or hear anything. And Lorelai," she said as she shook her head sadly. "Lorelai was falling to pieces in front of the whole town," she said quietly. "They felt that they had to protect her, Luke," she insisted.

"From me," he said with stunned disbelief.

"From you," Lane confirmed with a nod. "Now, I know the other stuff. I wish I didn't, but I do," she said as she glanced around the bar and saw Kirk and Lulu prepare to take the stage for a duet. She turned back to him and said, "The song was for Rory. A joke. Dolly Parton, of all people. The song was supposed to be funny," she said almost to herself. She looked back up at him and said, "It probably would have been funny if it weren't so true, huh?"

"I have to go," he said gruffly.

"I understand," Lane said with a nod. "Are we?" she asked gesturing between them.

"We're fine," he assured her. "Tell, um, tell the boys hi for me," he said as he turned and made a beeline for the door.

He stepped out onto the sidewalk and drew in a huge gulping breath of fresh air. Without thinking he began walking aimlessly as his mind raced. How could this have all gotten so fucked up, he wondered. What the hell was he supposed to do about it now? He asked himself. This wasn't all on him. She never said anything. None of them did. Was he supposed to read her mind? Was he just supposed to know how she felt? Was he just supposed to jump and not think about how jumbled up he was himself? He dropped down on the bench in the gazebo and hung his head as he rubbed his palms together. She still loved him, that is, that's what the song said. But she was singing it for Rory. Singing for Rory, but to him. What did that mean?

XXXX

As it sometimes happens, the minute Lorelai got out of the bar and into the fresh air, the tequila really hit her. She stumbled home with Rory's arm firmly around her waist, holding her up. She couldn't talk, she was afraid if she opened her mouth, she'd start to wretch again. Rory helped her up the porch steps and into the house. She steered her into the kitchen and deposited Lorelai into one of the chairs before she rummaged around for the Tylenol and a bottle of water. Rory placed them in front of her and said, "Drink this, and then I'll help you upstairs."

"I'm okay," Lorelai said quietly.

"No, Mom, you're not. But that's okay too," she said as she sat down in the chair next to Lorelai. "You don't have to be okay all of the time," she told her mother gently.

Lorelai tried to twist the cap off of the bottle, but couldn't manage it. She looked up and held it out to Rory pathetically. After disposing of the cap, Rory sat back and watched as Lorelai downed the pills and started to sip the water. "He's wearing the blue hat," Lorelai said softly.

"Yes, I know," Rory answered.

"He hasn't worn it since," Lorelai said with a wave of her hand.

"Yeah, he hasn't," Rory agreed.

"Do you think it was a sign?" Lorelai asked, meeting Rory's eyes for the first time since they sat down.

Rory looked at her mother and said, "I don't know, but I hope so."

"You do?" Lorelai asked.

Rory smiled and said, "Mom, I understand why you felt the need to try things with Dad. You felt like maybe you had passed up something that may have been meant to be," she said with a shrug. "You felt like it was your last chance," she added softly. "But, Mom, since the moment you first told me that Luke had kissed you that night, I knew that this was it. For both of you. Things got screwed up," she said as she ran her thumbnail along the edge of the table. "Really screwed up," she said with a chuckle. "But there is no doubt in my mind that you and Luke will eventually figure it out," she said as she looked up and met Lorelai's gaze. "None, whatsoever," she said softly.

"I wish I knew how he felt," Lorelai whispered.

Rory nodded and said, "Yeah, well, you're gonna have to start trying to find out, aren't you?"

"Yeah," Lorelai said quietly.

"I want you to be happy, Mom. Both of you," Rory said with a tentative smile.

"And I wish you joy, and happi-ness," Lorelai said, her voice breaking on a hiccup.

Rory smiled and said, "My mother, W.C. Fields." She pushed herself up from the table and said, "Come on, my little song bird, time for bed," as she reached for Lorelai's arm.

As Rory led her to the stairs, Lorelai looked over at her and said, "I sang it pretty good though, right? I mean, I'm not Dolly," she said as she gestured to her chest.

"Who is?" Rory asked with a laugh.

"Dolly," Lorelai answered solemnly.

Rory smiled as they reached the top of the stairs and said, "Well, you know what Dolly always said, 'It costs a lot of money to look this trashy,' or something like that."

Lorelai nodded and said, "I've always liked Dolly."

"Sure. Who doesn't like Dolly?" Rory said as she deposited Lorelai on the bed and began to remove her shoes for her.

Lorelai smiled at her weakly and mumbled, "I called him 'Doll,'" as she rolled over and buried her face in the pillow.

"And he let you," Rory whispered as she tiptoed from the room.