(A/N: Hey all! I'm back! Sorry that took so long, but my work/school schedule is really riding my ass. But at any rate, here's the next chapter!)
"Urghh…couldn't they do this themselves? This is sooo degrading." Quatre moaned, unable to bring himself to dial the particular number on the page in the phonebook before him.
And why is that, you ask? Because it's the number of a strip club.
That's right. Straight and narrow Quatre is actually prepping himself to order a stripper for Wufei's bachelor party.
Why is that? Because Duo, with his unique powers of persuasion, had managed to convince him it was a good idea.
"So why isn't HE the one making the call?" Quatre cried out in frustration, slamming the phone back down in the cradle (because he enjoys watching people squirm that's why)
Quatre fidgeted and paced, staring at the phone and yellow pages as they taunted him from the other side of the room, before giving an angry sigh and slowly crossing the room.
He picked up the phone like it was a poisonous snake that would bite him if provoked and at a snails pace, dialed in the number.
"Hello? This is Clubhouse. How may I help you?" a bubbly sounding woman said cheerfully on the other end of the line.
"Uh…umm…I need to..err…" Quatre stuttered as his business-profession demeanor decided to take a holiday, unable to bring himself to say the dreaded words, 'I need to order a stripper for a bachelor party Friday night.'
"Aww…are you new at this, shuga?" the woman said sympathetically, "It's okay, darlin'. Just take yo' time an' remember t' breathe."
"I…I need to…I need to…hold on a moment." Quatre said, taking a couple deep breaths, "IneedtoorderastripperforabachelorpartyFridaynight!"
"Easy there sweety!" the woman laughed, "'snot that big of a deal. Just relax! I'll take care of you."
Quatre a rush of air whoosh from his lungs and allowed himself to sink to the floor, hoping to Allah that the woman on the end of the line wasn't lying through her teeth.
"Woooot! This bachelorette party is gonna be the best!" Mikura sang happily as she prepped the apartment with liquor, chocolates, and plenty of edible, shlong-shaped goodies.
"And wait til you see the stripper. His name is Campbell and GAWD! Talk about mm-mm-good!" Mimiru snickered, hanging up a disco ball.
"Do we have a photo?" Mitsuki asked with a devious smirk as she vacuumed up the Cheetos that she had just sent flying to the floor in her haste to grab a roll of wrapping paper.
"We do, but patience is a virtue." Mimiru said wickedly, "You'll see him soon enough."
"Oooo, I can't wait." Michiru giggled, tying a ribbon around her gift of edible underwear and lacy red lingerie.
"So when does she go off duty again?" Mikura asked, walking to the fridge to get the tallywhacker shaped cake she purchased on the way over ready to serve.
"At four thirty." Michiru replied, as she tied the last bit of ribbon with a flourish, "So we better hurry up and get this done!"
"Yeah, especially seeing as it's already four." Mitsuki added, trying to ignore how badly the stool beneath her feet was wobbling.
"Crap! It's that late already?" Mimiru cried as she darted into the kitchen; the sound of bone connecting with fake wood was heard followed by a string of curses as the eldest quint smashed her shin on a chair leg.
"You okay?" Mikura called into the kitchen anxiously as the sonorous curses diminished to loud hisses.
"Oh I'm just peachy!" she spat, hobbling out the of the kitchen, "I'm just a goddamn gimp is all."
"I thought I said no strippers." Wufei growled after said stripper (whose name was Cinnamon) had made herself known at the party and was currently parading around in little more than a g-string and a smile.
"Yes, you did, but unfortunately for you, this is a bachelor party." Duo replied with a snicker, "And strippers are customary at bachelor parties. By th' way Q, props for following through! I thought for sure you'd welch!"
Quatre shot Duo a look that clearly said that the matter was not up for discussion and that this was a particular chapter in his life he wanted close, toss into a nearby fireplace and watch as it burned to ash.
"Seriously though, not too much longer with the stripper though." Trowa said carefully, eyeing the tic pulsing in Wufei's temple, "No need for pointless bloodshed."
"Agreed." Heero replied wearily, massaging the bridge of his nose, "And since this was all your idea Maxwell, you will be the one to buy more beer. We're out."
"Only because somebody's been drinking like a fish." Duo snorted before climbing to his feet, "Fine, fine. I get th' booze…which leaves the four of you to pay and chuck the stripper."
The sounds of four jaws simultaneously hitting the floor was heard as Duo exited the apartment.
"Ha! Those guys are too easy." He snickered as he walked down the street towards the local liquor store, unaware of the whispers that followed him.
"It's him! The one from the wanted posters all those years ago!" an older man muttered.
"You mean he's a Gundam Pilot?" the woman on his arms hissed back, "He's one of the monsters that wiped out that orphanage?"
Duo definitely heard that last remark and it stopped him dead in his tracks. He had destroyed an orphanage? An orphanage? When did that happen? Did it happen at all? He supposed it could have. It was so hard to pick out one mission from another in the back of his mind.
Without even realizing what he was doing he began to run.
"Damn…and it was just getting good too." Mimiru grumbled, "They better get me some shots of that hottie or I'll shove these beer bottles right up their-"
"He's gonna jump!"
"Oh my lord!"
"What th' hell?" Mimiru muttered, looking just above where a small mob of people had formed, "Oh…myGODDUO!"
She dropped the paper bag containing the beer only just recently purchased, and forced her way through the crowd just as Duo took the plunge.
Without even thinking, Mimiru dove directly in his path of descent, breath whooshing out of her lungs and several ribs snapping as he crashed on top of her.
"Nnnghhhh…" she moaned, shoving him off her and gripping his shoulders, "What the HELL were you thinking Duo? What the HELL did you think you were doing?"
"…destroyed…orphanage." He mumbled numbly as she hauled him to his feet, away from the crowd and into an alley about a block away.
"Now then…calmly…why did you feel the sudden urge to off yourself?" Mimiru asked, gripping his shoulders again.
"I destroyed…an orphanage." Duo mumbled again, "They called me a monster…they're right. I destroyed an orphanage without a second thought. I am a monster."
"No you're not." Mimiru growled at him, tightening her grip, "You are probably the furthest thing from a monster I've ever met."
"Then…what am I?" Duo asked her, giving her the most lost and hopeless expression she had seen.
"You are human, and like all humans, you are bound make mistakes." She replied, "Whether or not you did what they claimed is irrelevant. You are not a monster."
"Human…I'm really human?" he asked hopefully, his voice breaking.
"Yes, Duo. You're human." Mimiru replied, releasing her grip on his shoulders and opening her arms wide, "C'mere you suicidal nutbar."
Duo didn't give her a chance to retract the offer and was quickly bawling into the crook of her neck and dragging her to the ground with him, chanting, "I am human…I am." in between sobs.
"Huh…wonder what's taking Mimiru so long?" Misaki wondered after Campbell the Male Stripper had left the building, "I mean really, the liquor store isn't that far away."
As if to answer her call, the door swung open to reveal Mimiru, sans beer with a half asleep Duo Maxell on her back.
"Mimiru what on-!" Mitsuki began to cry, only to be shot down by a single look from Mikura that said 'this clearly isn't the time.'
"Where did you find him?" Michiru asked cautiously, following her elder sibling into Misaki's bedroom.
"Trying to jump off a building on one-fifty-third." Mimiru replied curtly as she shifted the taller man off her back and onto Misaki's bed,
"For serious?" Mikura murmured as Mimiru pulled a chair up next to the bed, "He actually tried to…?"
"Yeah. Something someone on the street said made him snap." Mimiru replied, "After all, everyone needs something to hate. And the media wants the public to hate these guys even after they've hung up their mechas."
"Meaning all of us will have to deal with something similar to this sooner or later." Misaki murmured, "Preferably later if we have a choice."
"But the fact remains that it will happed." Mikura said evenly, "And when it does, we will have to stay by their side until they are stable again, agreed?"
"No doubt." Mitsuki nodded firmly, "There is no way I'd leave Q hangin' high and dry."
"Yes, I'd never abandon Heero like that." Michiru said quietly, hands clasped tightly in front of her.
"As touching as this all is, do you think one of you could ring up Wiffle Ball?" Mimiru asked acerbically, "Someone needs to tell them Duo aint going anywhere for awhile."
"What is taking that idiot so long?" Wufei growled after the stripper had been successfully ejected, "It's been over an hour!"
The phone, located just behind him, chose to ring at that precise moment, inducing a major spaz attack on Wufei's part.
Quatre, trying hard to repress a laugh, quickly snatched up both the phone and it's cradle before Wufei could smash it to bits.
"Hello?" he said, waiting for the person on the other end to respond.
"Hey Quatre." Misaki answered, "Listen, I'm just calling to let you guys know that Duo's staying at my place tonight."
"Really?" Quatre asked, mildly surprised, "And why is that?"
"I'd rather not say." Misaki said ruefully, "But I'm sure he will tell you eventually when he gets back."
"Well alright then." Quatre replied, now really concerned about Duo's well being, "Thank you…for letting me know."
"Not a problem. G'bye." Misaki said, cutting the connection, as well as the call, short.
As Quatre hung up the phone, Trowa caught the unnerved look on his face.
"What's wrong?" he asked,
"Duo is at Misaki's." Quatre said slowly, "I think…I think something may have happened."
"If he made it there, then he must be alright." Heero reasoned, "I mean, if he was capable of walking all that way-"
"I don't think he means any thing that physical." Wufei sighed, "I think Quatre means that something might have occurred to damage him psychologically."
"Ohhh…" Heero replied with a slow nod, "Well, he would allow something stupid like that to happen."
"…Heero? You're drunk aren't you?" Trowa asked, quirking an eyebrow.
"Mayyybeee I'm a lil' buzzed, but I'm definitely not drunk yet." Heero replied vaguely.
"Oh dear god." Quatre groaned as Wufei suddenly leapt to his feet and darted out of the room, returning seconds later with a video camera.
"Whadd're ya doin' with that, Wufei?" Heero asked lazily, eyeing the camera training on him.
"If Maxwell's as messed up as Quatre thinks, this will get him on his feet in no time." Wufei reasoned, "Really, what would make him laugh harder than a video of you blitzed off your ass?"
"Well if you say so." Heero replied, drinking sluggishly from the bottle of sake' he had located in Wufei's hall closet.
Duo blearily opened his eyes and wondered where the hell he was and why the hell his body felt like it had gone through a rock tumbler.
"So you're up, huh? About damn time."
Duo glanced to his immediate right and saw an obviously sleep deprived Mimiru glowering at him, dark circles under her eyes.
"You stay there, I'll tell the guys you're finally awake." She muttered irritably as she walked out of the room, leaving Duo to wonder what the hell she was doing there in the first place and what he couls have possibly done to make her so pissed.
After she ushered Quatre, Heero, Trowa and Wufei into the room, she shut the door behind her, leaving them alone.
"Dudes…did I do something wrong?" Duo asked dazedly, "Why's she so mad at me?"
"Mad at you?" Trowa asked, quirking an eyebrow, "I've never seen anyone look more devoted."
"Yeah, according to Michiru, she' been up all night with you." Heero replied, "You kept having nightmares apparently."
"I don't remember any of them now." Duo said, "Man, what did I do last night."
"Oh, nothing." Quatre replied, "Just tried to kill yourself."
"WHAT?" Duo cried, sitting bolt upright.
"That's what Mikura told me." Trowa nodded.
"I DON'T REMEMBER ANY OF IT! WHAT THE HELL?" Duo yelled.
"It's called selective memory." Wufei said evenly, "You don't remember because you do not want to remember."
"Oh. Well, I guess that makes sense." Duo said warily, "I mean really, who would wanna remember something like that?"
"Not you apparently." Heero replied with a small shrug.
"By the way, Wufei, wasn't there something you wanted to give to the patient?" Quatre pressed, nudging Wufei with a smirk.
"Ah, yes." Wufei sneered, pulling out a DVD, inserting it into the DVD player at the foot of the bed as Heero paled considerably, "Let's roll the clips shall we?"
(A/N: More wedding planning, and someone has a bun in the oven! R&R!)