Celebwen Telcontar: Here's a new one! This one's a bit longer, I think, so don't flame me!
Balrog: What's this one about?
Celebwen Telcontar: We'll just see, won't we? I don't own anything other than the plot and anything you don't recognize form JK Rowling or history class! Please review, people!
CT
"Richard!!" a voice cried.
"Yes, dear?" the dragon replied with what sounded like ling-suffering patience.
"Are you playing with your food again?"
"Erm…" The big golden dragon somehow managed to look chastised and embarrassed.
"You are, aren't you?" A crashing through the forest announced the arrival of another dragon, this one a deep sable touched with silver.
"Well, I'm hungry! That last spider I ate was hardly the size of one of those red-furred humpbacked elephants!"
"Is it my fault that you're a bottomless pit? You ate two huge flocks of geese and that shepherd and his sheep last night! You can't have been hungry again already! And when did you eat a Murk Spider? You know they give you indigestion! Wait… you didn't eat frozen mammoth meat, did you? Those things are worse than glacierburned anything!"
Someone should write a book on the marital lives of dragons, Heinrich mused. It'd certainly be less hazardous than doing the research yourself. How do I get myself into these situations?!
"And don't eat too much, Richard! We've got an Advocacy Meeting tonight and you know Thrandy brings too much to the potluck!"
"Yes, Cosima. Can I bring the human to the potluck though?"
"Fine. It'll make a good garnish for Castor and Pollux's dodo-ostrich-emu-roc stew."
"Mmm! Do they have the skulls of the birds? And the brains in them? I love the crunchy outside and gooey inside!"
"What a pig, Richard! Alright." She gently grabbed Heinrich around the middle.
"Don't bruise it; that ruins the flavor!" Richard cried.
"I know; I can make anything taste good. You, on the other hand, are a walking disaster. I remember when you burned down most of the forest we lived five decades ago!"
"The domestic lives of dragons. Odin preserve me…" Heinrich muttered.
"Oh, this one is pagan. Interesting," Richard said in interest.
"The last human pagans worshipping Odin were the Advocate. We'll bring this one to the meeting and let it speak… perhaps it is an Advocate. What do you say, Richard?"
"I still want to eat it."
"So this is how I die. I escape death from the British, I escape death from age, and now I die by dragon," Heinrich grumbled.
"I don't believe it," Horace said firmly. His face was pale, and the relatively thin girl's diary in his hands was crumpled slightly. "Professor Blitz can't have done all that!"
"He did, dear," Valerie said, drawing him close. "I know you feel betrayed, and I know you wee fond of him. He wasn't a good man, though."
"He is too! He's a good man! He helped me during the troll incident—"
"Troll? What troll?" Victor asked in a deadly snarl
"Over Halloween, someone let in a troll. Probably the Weasley twins, for a practical joke. I bit it as my thestral-cat-thing, and Professor Blitz… well he almost blew up the troll magically, killing it."
"That's it," Victor growled. "I'm speaking to Albus. Make my excuses if anyone comes around looking for me." Victor walked to the catacombs, and Horace went to see him off. When the retired Auror launched himself off the ledge, Horace saw him transform into his Pteranadon form, and glide off.
"Horace," He turned to face his grandmother, who took him into a hug. "Let me tell you a story. When I was a student, I had a friend. Tom was a Slytherin, while I was in Gryffindor. We got into so much trouble… After we graduated, Professor Dumbledore took me aside and showed this to me." Valerie took her wand and wrote "Tom Marvolo Riddle" in fiery letters, then flicked her wand. They shifted to read "I ma Lord Voldemort".
"Who's Voldemort?" Horace asked.
"He killed your parents. I know what betrayal feels like, Horace."
"No you don't! He was just your friend! Professor Blitz was my friend and my Professor! And he's not a bad man! He's a good man! He is my favorite Professor!" Horace cried.
"Horace!" Valerie said firmly.
"No!" Harry turned, and morphed into his woodpecker form and flew up the stairs. Minerva morphed into her cat form, being much faster at running, and followed her wayward grandson. Soon, though, she heard the tell-tale squeal of pipes. Not the traditional show pipes, but the squalling war-drones, a harsh, shrieking wail that once whipped the ancient Gaels into a murderous blue frenzy. Then, she heard the pipes stop, and the door opened. Horace was standing there, his face screwed up in concentration. Suddenly, with a pop, Harry appeared much older and ruthless. A briefcase was in one hand, and he wore an immaculate suit.
"Mrs. Minerva McGonagall McPhaerson, you know the laws regarding exiling Mr. Blitz from your house and sentencing him to execution yourself. There are proper channels for this sort of action, and they must be obeyed. In order to balance out your action against my client, I will be forced to seize your assets, liquid and otherwise, and—"
"Horace! My Gods, you have a lawyer Animagus form!!"
Dudley Dursley walked down the halls of Hogwarts to his next Potions class. Without Professor Blitz, it was a drag and slow. The old man teaching it had been so clumsy and nervous that it was amazing no one was dead. Yet. Dudley decided to skip Potions today and go see Maggie and her new baby. Christmas was coming up, and it was a bit disappointing to not be putting up the tree with his parents. But his parents had been a bunch of idiots when they kicked him out, though, so maybe he shouldn't miss them too much.
"Ah, ickle Duddykins!" a voice cackled, preceding a ton of flour being dropped from the ceiling.
"Peeves!" Dudley roared, trying to clean the flour out of his hair.
"Oh ickle Duddy, he's so fuddy—"
"Peeves! I will kill you for this!" Dudley stood, sopping wet, and covered in rapidly congealing Paper Mache mix. A bin of confetti finished Dudley's transformation into a Paper Mache statue.
"Oh, no!" It was Anthony, a Ravenclaw. Expulsio! Dudley's eyes drifted to Peeves, who was floating and trying to keep his tongue in his mouth while he was semi-singing.
"Hey, cool!" a voice cried. "That'd be awesome in—" "—a prank! I'm Gred—" "—And I'm Forge!" The Weasley twins made a motion with their wands, and Peeves rocketed out of the hallway, bouncing off the walls like a rubber ball, cackling all the while.
Suddenly, they saw a student walking through the hall. It was a curly-haired Fifth-year. Her eyes were glazed over and she was walking up the stairs at a rapid pace. Dudley and Anthony followed her, all the way up to the Third Floor corridor. She opened the door with some Hermione-esque spell, and walked inside, singing some ridiculous ditty about a spider in the rain. A large three-headed dog lay there, unconscious.
"Stop right there!" Anthony cried. The girl stopped singing, and she looked shocked. The dog got up and began to bark. Anthony and Dudley closed the door with a bang, and locked it behind them. The scream of the girl and the barking of the dog were accompanying them down the hallway as they ran to their Potions class. They didn't talk, but just pounded down the hallways, faces white and hearts racing at the near-death experience.
Celebwen Telcontar: What do you think of that?
Balrog: Horace has a lawyer animagus form? That's spooky.
Celebwen Telcontar: Please review!
CT