Hey guys, thanks for the reviews. Sorry for not updating yesterday, I had nothing planned out.
WANRING: Sensitive issues will be discussed in this chapter, if that affects you please do not read!
Disclaimer: I don't own TMI or TID; all rights go to Cassandra Clare.
Chapter 36.
*CLARY'S P.O.V.*
"What happened Clary, did you have a nightmare?" Jace asks, turning around so he's facing me.
"Jace... I had what can only be described as the most amazing, realistic dream I've ever had." I tell him.
"What was it?" He asks, propping himself up on one elbow.
"In my dream, I was sitting in the library, rubbing my belly, trying to get Lucy to sleep. The doors opened and Michael the arch angel walked in, along with the most beautiful little girl I've ever seen. She had gorgeous red curls and beautiful golden eyes, pale skin, freckles and soft features.
I asked her what her name was but she shyly hid behind Michael's leg, clinging onto him. He said 'Come on now, you said you wanted to meet her' and I was so confused as to why this little girl wanted to meet me. She told me her name was Annabelle, which immediately got my attention. Naturally, I thought she was our Annabelle but then I thought it was ridiculous, just a coincidence. So I asked her what her full name was. She told me her name was Annabelle Imogen Herondale.
I broke down into sobs, collapsed onto my knees. Annabelle ran over and hugged me, telling me she didn't mean to make me cry. I held her in front of me and looked at her and I realized she was the perfect mixture of you and I. I told her how much I love her and miss her. She told me she loves me too and she wanted to be born, but she wasn't allowed.
I asked Michael what she meant and he explained to me, after helping me up and conjuring up a chair for me, that Annabelle, unlike Jack, inherited all the extra angel blood from us. That combined with the normal seventy percent made her 98% angel, far too powerful and angelic to born into the mortal world.
Michael told me she was exactly what Valentine was trying to create with you, and if Valentine's followers found out about her, they would start a Holy war.
Michael asked me had I not wondered why Lucy had been so quiet lately. I told him that Magnus told us she could have damaged nerves and/or reflexes. Michael told me that Lucy is perfectly healthy.
Annabelle then explained that she'd been helping look over Lucy and I, and when she was around Lucy was always very quiet, but when you sang to me, not even Annabelle could keep her quiet.
Michael told me that Annabelle has been helping him immensely which means she will soon gain her wings.
After that Annabelle gave me a hug, telling me we had to go, she told me she was happy and she loved me. The last thing she said was 'Tell daddy I love him.' And then I woke up." By the time I'm finished, both Jace and I have tears streaming down our faces.
"By the angel." Jace whispers, putting his arms around me. I burry my face in his chest letting the tears flow.
Jace buries his face in my hair and starts to cry.
We lay like this, crying over our lost daughter and the fact that I got to see her and meet her, for a long time.
"I don't know why we're mopping about like this; she told you she's happy." Jace quietly says. That is true, but it hurts so much not having her with us.
"I-I know Jace, but it hurts so much, not having her with us. And knowing that she wanted to be born." I say.
"She wouldn't have been safe though." Jace says. That's the most painful part.
"I know..." I trail off.
"I'm so happy you got to see her." Jace whispers. I smile into his chest.
"Me too." I say, in weak tone.
Jace and I lay in each other's arms for a long time, before going back to sleep.
About an hour after Jace has fallen back asleep, I'm still wide awake. Partly because I can stop thinking about Annabelle and my dream, and partly because Lucy is kicking a lot, making up for being so quiet for a whole month.
As I look at the ultrasound picture of Lucy, that Magnus was able to make appear from thin air, an idea pops into my head.
I reach under the bed, as best I can with my bump, and grab my sketch pad. I grab my pencils and colouring pencils and eraser out of the bedside draw, and set to work.
First I draw Annabelle's beautiful little face, her soft features, freckles and golden eyes.
Then I draw her shoulder length red curls.
I keep drawing well into the night, until I've perfected the drawing of my daughter. That's when I set to work on adding colour.
Hours later I have drawn a perfect picture of Annabelle, so Jace can see her too and so I will never forget what she looks like.
*JACE'S P.O.V.*
*THE NEXT MORNING*
When I wake up, I take a few minute to fully waken. Then I slowly open my eyes, squinting at the brightness of the room.
I turn my head to look at Clary. She is lying on her back, her red curls everywhere, and her arm thrown across her beautiful face.
I notice her other arm is lying across her bump, over her sketch pad. That can't be comfortable; her arm is digging into the spiral edge.
I gently slide it out under her arm and decide to look at it.
It's a drawing of a little girl who looks exactly like Clary, except for the golden eyes. I think it's what Clary thinks Lucy will look like, until I notice the signature at the bottom.
'Annabelle Imogen Herondale. By Clary Herondale.'
It's Annabelle. By the angel, she's beautiful, the most beautiful little girl I've ever seen.
I have never been so happy to see one of Clary's drawings. I can't believe I got to see my baby girl.
I gently place the notebook on my side of the bed. I grab a page from one of my old notebooks and quickly write a note to Clary, letting her know where I will be.
*ALEC'S P.O.V.*
"Alexander, you're shaking." Magnus says placing his hand on my arm, concern lacing his tone.
We're sitting in bed, having time to ourselves while William is asleep.
"I-I am? Oh, I must be cold." I say.
"It's the middle of June Alec, and you have a hoddie and sweat pants on, you can't possibly be cold. Is something bothering you?" He asks.
I was deep in thought, about what kind of father I am, and will continue to be, to William. The fight with my dad replayed in my mind and it occurred to me that I could turn out like him. I could turn into a horrible father and William and Magnus will hate me, and I'll just end up locking myself away from everyone, like Robert does.
But I don't want to pester Magnus with my problems. So I turn to him, trying to smile convincingly.
"Don't worry about me, I was just thinking too much." I say, in what I hoped would be a confident tone, but came out weak and afraid.
"Alexander I know there is something very wrong. Please tell me what is so I can help you." Magnus says, cupping my check with his hand.
I sigh slightly, leaning into his touch.
"I don't wanna pester you..." I say.
"You could never pester me. I'm your husband, and that means one of my jobs is to listen to you and help you with any problems you have. So tell me." He says.
"Remember a while back when you and Will found me in the main room, sobbing?" I ask.
"Of course I do, it was horrible seeing you so upset." Magnus says, putting his arm around my shoulders.
"Well, when I went to the library that evening, to find a book for William, I heard my dad talking on the phone. He was obviously talking to some shadowhunter whose kid was gay. He said that William will be very messed up because he has two dads and no mom. Then he started calling me a shame and a disgrace, saying that if he didn't know mom would kill him, he would disown me, throw me out.
After he hung up, all I could say was 'Dad.' He sneered and told me to grow up, saying I knew full well he wouldn't' tolerate any child of his being gay. I told him it wasn't a choice, being gay. He said you brainwashed me into thinking that. Then he said Will wasn't really my little boy, because he was adopted. I reminded him that Luke adopted Clary, but all he said was 'She still had her biological mother, and I can guarantee you that because she was adopted, Clarissa is the little brat she is today.' That made me furious and I told him Clary wasn't a brat. He then claimed you brainwashed me into thinking so highly of her too, because I hated her at first. I told him it was because I thought I was in love with Jace and I was scared she was going to take him away from me.
He said my sexuality is always the problem, and if I had any decency I would leave the institute and never come back or bring anymore shame on the family.
I lost my temper and screamed at him and stormed off." By the time I've said everything, I'm crying again and Magnus has his arms around me.
"He's an idiot, he doesn't know anything. He should be honoured to have you as his son." Magnus whispers.
"I'm not finished, that's not the reason I was shaking." I whisper.
"Tell me." Magnus whispers.
"I was thinking about what kind of a dad I am and will continue to be to William. Then the fight with my dad replayed in my head and it occurred to me that I could well turn out like Robert. Then you and William would hate me, like mom hates Robert and so do I, so I would lock myself away from everyone like he does. Not having a reason to live anymore." I quietly whisper. I can feel my whole body shaking with fear.
"Oh darling, no, no you are so much better than that homophobic dumbass. You love William with every fibber of your being and he loves you just as much. You are an amazing dad, Will's face lights up at the sight of you and he can't stand being away from you. And you can't stand being away from him. There is no way you will turn out like Robert, not a chance." He whispers, rubbing my back. That still doesn't ease my fears.
"B-But w-what if do turn out like him? What if it's inevitable and one kid in the family has to be the failure, or the bad parent. Jace is a great dad, Izzy is great mom and Max never got the chance to even meet a girl. So what if I'm the one who turns out like Robert? While the other two turned out like mom."I say, terrified that my son and husband will end up hating me and I'll end up a bad father.
"Alexander, if in say, fifteen years time, William comes up to you and says 'Dad, I'm gay' Or 'Dad I'm Bi.' Or any other sexuality, apart from straight, what would you say?" Magnus quietly whispers.
Without hesitance, I say
"I would say 'William, I am so proud of you for having the courage to tell me that. Your sexuality is not something that matters to me at all. I love you no matter what, and I will support you and help you through any rough times you have. Thank you for telling me and not torturing yourself with the secret. I love you." I surprise myself with the pride in my tone. But I would be unimaginably proud of William for being able to come out, if he is gay.
"And if and when we have a daughter and she comes up to you one day and says 'Dad, I think I found the one for me. Only thing is... she's a girl' what would you say?" Magnus asks.
Again, without hesitance, I say
"Sweetheart that's fantastic! What's this girl's name? Where's she from? I must meet her and ensure she takes good care of you." I can hear the smile in Magnus' voice when he says
"You see? You're nothing like Robert and you never will be. You love William unconditionally and you always will and the same goes for any other baby we ever have. You are an amazing father Alexander Gideon Lightwood, and you will be nothing like Robert." I realize he's right. There's no way I could ever hate my children, ever.
"Yeah, yeah you're right Mags. Thank you so much. I'd be lost without you." I say, leaning up and pressing a soft kiss to his warm lips.
"Id' be lost without you too Alexander." He says.
Soon after, I fall into a peaceful sleep, curled into Magnus' arms.
*CLARY'S P.O.V.*
"By the angel I think I just came up with an idea for the best parody ever!"Simon exclaims, as we sit in the main room together.
He's still pretty weak from becoming mortal, but he's not on bed rest or anything and he's getting stronger every day.
Mom and dad are here too, but engrossed in their own conversation.
"What is it?" I ask.
"This will blow your mind."He says.
"Hit me." I say.
"Okay, so this morning I watched the episode of how I met your mother where they found the Robin Sparkles video and ever since, I have 'Let's Go To The Mall' Stuck in my head. Anyway, I was singing 'Let's Go To The Mall', in my head, then I started thinking about Doctor Who and my mind came up with 'Let's Go To The Tardis'!" He exclaims. Oh that would be a really good parody.
"That would be awesome. You should write a parody and sing it with the band." I say.
"Yeah, it would be better if Cobbie Smoulders or Matt Smith could sing it, but yeah it would be awesome." He says.
Before he can continue on there's a loud ringing through the institute, someone seeking entrance.
"I'll get it, I'm due in a few weeks so I wanna try and get Lucy to change position and Magnus says walking around can do that." I say, pushing myself off the couch.
"I'll come with." Simon says, jumping up.
"Awe, look who loves me so much he can't bear to be away from me for one second." I tease, patting his cheek.
Simon pushes my hand away, grinning.
"You're my sister so I have to annoy you, hate you and love you." He says, as we make our way down the halls.
"Annoy me, I dare you." I say.
"I'm not stupid." He says.
"Good."I say.
A few minutes later we reach the large oak front doors. I open them and see a woman who looks to be around dad's age, with the same blue eyes and chestnut brown hair. Her face is soft but aged a little. She's about average height.
"Are you here to try and hurt my sister? Because if you are I can kill you." Simon says, trying to be the protective older brother.
"Simon!" I scold.
"Sorry." He says, holding back a grin and not sounding sorry at all.
"No, I'm not here to harm your sister. I'm looking for Lucian Graymark, or does he still go by Luke Garroway?" The woman asks.
"He goes by Luke Graymark, he's my dad. Who are you?"I ask.
"Amatis Graymark, you're father's sister." She says.
I hope you enjoyed! Please review.
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