Chapter 38

Tenzo had spent all of yesterday not hearing from Bensaku, but given the serious conversation they'd had the last time he was over, he wanted to give Bensaku breathing room. Self-destruct buttons? Promises to wait two years before having sex with him? Yeah, those aren't warning signs. But as much as Tenzo chewed it over, he couldn't see his way around this obstacle. He needed to be with Bensaku. He couldn't stand to not be. And Bensaku didn't suggest that they should leave each other alone. Well, not anymore.

He sighed and went back to mopping the floor.

Daidai helpfully walked across the kitchen.

"Daidai," Tenzo wailed. "And you just used the litter box, too. I'm going to have to do it all over again." Mopping the floor was his least favorite chore, and he'd gotten halfway through when he'd paused in thought.

His cat placidly ate two pieces of dry food and walked away into the living room.

"Two pieces? That's all? That's what you came here for?" Tenzo demanded.

Daidai paused, looked over his shoulder at Tenzo, and then started washing his face.

Tenzo groaned and cussed the cat out under his breath.

A knock came at the door.

Daidai streaked across the apartment in an orange blur and hid.

Tenzo smirked. Instant karma, cat. He abandoned his bucket and mop, only too happy for an excuse. He peeled off his kitchen gloves as he went and held them in one hand while he opened the door.

He'd half-expected Kakashi, but it was Bensaku. His captain was dressed in an amazingly ordinary dull blue shirt and khaki cargo pants. His casual sandals hinted that he was out running errands.

"Hi," Tenzo said. His chest felt lighter inside with hope.

Bensaku gave him a polite bow. "Hi. Sorry to disturb you like this, but you didn't show up yesterday."

"Was I supposed to?" Tenzo asked, confused by that remark.

"Sure," Bensaku said. He paused awkwardly and scratched his ear. "Want to come over and hang out again?"

"Sure. It's not like I would refuse an invitation," Tenzo said.

"How about seven o'clock?"

Tenzo nodded. "That'll be good."

"Ja ne." Bensaku waved.

Tenzo raised his hand in return. "Ja ne." What was that all about? I thought I was bothering him, coming around every day. He shut his door before Daidai could get the courage to run for it. Then he returned to mopping his floor all over again, but he wasn't paying attention. He reached the end of the kitchen before he knew it and went to the linen closet to get towels.

When he returned, he found Daidai at the border of the kitchen and the living room, shaking off his paws and looking put out. "That's what you get for not waiting, cat." Tenzo put down the towels and dried the floor. "There. Come back for a lousy two pieces of food or a sip of water. I don't care. I'm done now."

Typically, Daidai wandered off to play with sunbeams trickling around the window blinds.

xXx

Once he was done folding laundry, Tenzo went out to find Kakashi and Gai. He followed their chakra into the forest and found them at Gai's training grounds. They weren't training, though. Gai was doing after-workout stretches and Kakashi was reading a book under the shade of a tree. For once, it wasn't something with a bright orange warning cover.

Tenzo walked over, underneath the tree, and peered down at Kakashi's book. It was still a comic, which was a relief. If he found Kakashi reading novels all of a sudden he would be spooked. "Not Icha Icha? I'm shocked."

Kakashi glanced up at him. "I already read the new issue this month. I don't feel like rereading my collection."

"Oh." Tenzo scratched his head. The conversation palpably died. He gathered his strength and started a new one. "So, do you know what Bensaku's been up to?"

"No." Kakashi seemed content to read.

Tenzo frowned. "That's funny. Because he's acting kind of strangely."

"Hm."

"Do you have any idea why?" Tenzo prompted.

"Nope."

Tenzo sighed and gave up, moving on to his other teammate. "Gai-sempai, you haven't seen Bensaku recently, have you?"

"Benku-taichou?" Gai rubbed his chin. "No, I don't think so. Although I could have without realizing it given Taichou's ability to sink into a crowd."

Tenzo gave him a disbelieving look. "That isn't what I meant."

Gai frowned in confusion. "What did you mean?"

"He means, have we hung out recently," Kakashi clarified in a flatly distracted voice.

Gai shook his head. "No, we haven't. Why? Is something wrong?"

"I don't know," Tenzo said. "He's acting different today. I wondered if you talked to him."

"Not me," Gai said. He looked at Kakashi.

Tenzo turned and looked at Kakashi as well. "Sempai?"

Kakashi was oblivious. He kept right on reading.

"Did you speak to Taichou recently?" Tenzo asked pointedly.

"Hm. I may have," Kakashi said.

Tenzo could hear the smirk in his sempai's voice. "About what?"

"That's private."

Tenzo groaned and ran his fingers through his hair. "Fine. I guess I'll just go and find out for myself. He invited me to his house this evening."

"Good for you." Kakashi turned the page. "Being proactive is good for you." He smiled up at Tenzo.

"I'll see you later," Tenzo said sourly.

"Ja ne." Kakashi waved without taking his eyes off his manga.

"Goodbye," Gai called. "I hope we meet again soon, Tenzo."

"Yeah..." Tenzo sighed as soon as he was far enough away not to be observed. Gai's weirdness never failed to make an impact on him, even in ordinary conversation.

xXx

Tenzo wondered if he should dress up, but ultimately he just put on a t-shirt and a pair of cargo shorts like he usually did on vacation. He figured Bensaku wouldn't expect him to be wearing anything else. If he'd been meant to wear something else, Bensaku would have told him. His captain was always good at mentioning details.

It was a quick walk across town, and the day had turned slightly cool, a breeze blowing against his bare shins, arms, and face. There were still like two hours to go before the sun would set, but he could feel a shift in the day's energy. Everything was winding down, and a thick aura of peace lay over Konoha. He really enjoyed it. Days like this were too rare.

The inside of Bensaku's apartment building was peaceful, too. Silent, even. Tenzo wandered up to Bensaku's floor in no particular hurry and scanned all the door numbers as he walked down the hall. He idly wondered who lived in each apartment and who their families were, and what they were doing today. This day had the kind of late summer feeling that no one was doing anything important.

Tenzo arrived at Bensaku's door, made familiar by so many visits lately. He could feel Bensaku was inside, so he prepared to knock.

Bensaku opened the door before Tenzo could. Tenzo froze with his fist still poised. "Um?"

"Come in," Bensaku said. He gave Tenzo a laidback smile.

Tenzo scooted inside, brushing Bensaku's chest with his own. He slipped off his sandals. Bensaku shut the door and wrapped him in a hug from behind. Tenzo felt his temperature rise a good five degrees. Bensaku's body was sturdy and muscular against him. "Uh, hi."

Bensaku kissed his temple. "Hi."

"You're feeling more confident today," Tenzo said, too shocked to say anything else.

"Mm-hmm." Bensaku unwound one arm and gently turned Tenzo, keeping his left arm around Tenzo's waist. "I ordered take-out. Let's eat."

Tenzo's stomach rumbled. "Sure. Okay." Wait. He knew I would be coming over around dinnertime and he bought me dinner. A beaming smile broke out across his face. "Thanks!"

Bensaku reached up and trailed his fingers through Tenzo's hair. "You've got to eat. So do I. You don't need to thank me."

Tenzo hugged him, suddenly filled with relief. 'You don't need to thank me' was one of Bensaku's familiar refrains.

Bensaku grinned. "Now go sit down. I'll serve you."

Tenzo's eyes widened. "Are you sure? In your nice living room? What if I spill something?"

"Then we'll clean it up," Bensaku said.

"Okay..." Tenzo reluctantly peeled away and sat down on the sofa.

Bensaku brought their take-out in on dinner plates. He handed Tenzo one plate and sat down with another himself, choosing to sit beside Tenzo instead of in his chair. He handed Tenzo proper chopsticks, apparently not bothering with the cheap break apart kind that had undoubtedly been thrown in with the take-out order.

"Itadakimasu." Tenzo popped a slice of water chestnut in his mouth and crunched on it.

Bensaku snorted and shook his head. "I'll never understand why you like water chestnuts."

"I dunno. They're crunchy."

"They don't taste like anything."

"They do too." Tenzo swallowed. "They taste like almonds and bamboo shoots."

"No thanks."

Tenzo grinned. "Well, you don't have to eat them. You can give them all to me."

"I did." Bensaku pointed to Tenzo's plate, then to his. Tenzo had a sort of hot vegetable salad with water chestnuts, carrots, bamboo shoots, celery, and bean sprouts, one of his favorite staples of Konoha take-out. Instead of that, Bensaku had fried rice with carrots, peas, and little pieces of barbeque pork. Tenzo didn't like fried rice, and Bensaku didn't like piles of vegetables.

Tenzo gestured with his chopsticks. "You won't grow big and strong if you don't eat more vegetables."

Bensaku rolled his eyes. "Vegetables don't seem to be helping you much. I'd abandon the whole idea." He ate a bite of spicy pork, which was dripping with bright red sauce. "Now, if you really want to grow big and strong, eat more meat."

"I'm thinking of going full vegetarian," Tenzo said.

Bensaku groaned. "If you do that, then I know you'll stunt your growth."

Tenzo batted his eyelashes. "Maybe I want to stay small and adorable forever."

Bensaku balanced his plate on his knees and slipped an arm around Tenzo's waist. "I'll always think you're adorable."

Tenzo swallowed a mouthful of teriyaki chicken and glanced at him. "Is that license to get fat, then?"

"You couldn't get fat if you tried," Bensaku said. "You'll never have a career as a sumo wrestler."

"Darn. That was my fallback if ANBU didn't work out."

Bensaku laughed.

After dinner, Bensaku cleared away the dishes and washed them while Tenzo picked something out on TV. By the time Bensaku dried his hands and padded back to the living room, an old samurai flick with bad acting was on.

Tenzo quoted in time with the movie, "If I hide here I will surely catch him with my daughter." The old man on the screen hunched behind a scrawny fake tree and craned his neck, his hand cupped to his ear. The camera panned to a young woman up to her neck in a 'natural' hot spring, also obviously fake. The tub was poorly disguised with rocks and moss. She made a show of luxuriating in the water.

Bensaku sat down beside Tenzo, careful not to make any noise.

"Here he comes now," Tenzo quoted, again in time with the old man. Then he grinned at Bensaku. "This is a ninja/samurai romance story. The old man's daughter is a ninja who is seeing a samurai and he doesn't want her to. So they're sneaking around and stuff. He catches them but doesn't have the guts to do anything. So in the end he hires another ninja to do away with the samurai, and the samurai and the ninja girl fight him off together. Then they elope. It's really romantic."

On the screen, the old man stomped his feet and groaned while a handsome young man in a wig kissed the young woman in the hot spring.

"So the father is the villain," Bensaku said.

"Yeah." Tenzo's eyes were glued to the screen.

Bensaku gently wound his arm around Tenzo's waist. "Because he stands in the way of true love?"

"That's right."

Bensaku slowly leaned in and kissed Tenzo's cheek. "I guess it's not smart to get in the way of something like that."

Tenzo's cheeks turned pink. He turned his head, looking up into Bensaku's eyes.

Bensaku cupped Tenzo's cheek and touched their lips together.

Tenzo closed his eyes and melted against Bensaku's side.

After a few silent, gentle kisses, Bensaku asked softly, "Would you like to stay the night tonight?"

Tenzo stared at him. "I thought you didn't want me to."

Bensaku gave him a small smile. "I've been thinking about it."

Tenzo couldn't help being suspicious. "Do we get to sleep in the same bed?"

"Yes," Bensaku said with a surprised chuckle.

Tenzo climbed into Bensaku's lap and wound Bensaku's arms around him. "Good. My favorite part is coming up, so if you don't mind -"

Bensaku squeezed him. "I'll be quiet."

Tenzo settled in happily.

xXx

Tenzo knew he was the one who had pushed for staying overnight, but now that it came to that he was also the nervous one. They watched TV until it had been dark out for a while, but that delaying tactic couldn't last forever. He was yawning, and Bensaku had dozed off twice. Bensaku finally got up, stretched, and said the inevitable: "Let's turn in."

"Okay," Tenzo said lamely.

Bensaku led him to the bedroom and gently shut the door.

"I can't sleep in my clothes," Tenzo said.

"I know that." Bensaku gave him a look.

Tenzo held up his hands. "I didn't know what you had in mind. You don't seem to want to touch me -"

Bensaku closed the distance between them in an instant, drawing Tenzo into his arms. His eyes were so intense it made Tenzo swallow. "That's not it. I want to touch you all the time."

Tenzo didn't know if he should be ashamed or not for instantly popping an erection. He was a little embarrassed that Bensaku could probably feel it. "Um...then why don't you...?"

"Because I'm afraid of myself," Bensaku said. His voice rumbled.

Tenzo wasn't sure what to say, especially with Bensaku's arms securely around him. Bensaku's behavior signalled something had changed. Something big. "I'm not afraid of you."

"Aren't you? Even a little bit?"

The question made Tenzo nervous, but he answered anyway. "Only when you're in disciplinarian mode. That's because I'm afraid of punishment." He closed his eyes and rested his head against Bensaku's chest. "I'm never afraid of you. I love you." He listened to Bensaku's heartbeat, which was a little quick for standing still.

Bensaku let out a heavy sigh and planted a kiss on the top of Tenzo's head. Then he reached up and stroked the back of Tenzo's head, fingers filtering through Tenzo's hair. "I love you, too."

Tenzo relaxed at that. "Bensaku..."

Bensaku kissed the top of his head again and let him go. Tenzo watched in amazement as Bensaku lifted his t-shirt over his head and took it off, revealing a bronzed, muscular torso.

"Well, let's get ready for bed," Bensaku said.

Tenzo realized his mouth was hanging open and shut it. The sight of Bensaku's bare chest did nothing to help him make his hard-on go down. "O-Okay." He gingerly took off his own t-shirt, hyperaware of how scrawny and pale he was. He had muscle; he couldn't be in ANBU and not be fit. But his never showed like Bensaku's did. He wondered why.

"How do you usually sleep?" Bensaku asked.

"With my eyes shut?"

"Tenzo."

Tenzo grinned and ducked his head. "I don't know. I just sleep."

"I mean, which side of the bed do you like, and do you need to borrow a pair of my pajamas?"

Tenzo imagined drowning in a pair of Bensaku's pajamas. "I doubt the pants would even stay up."

"They have ties," Bensaku said tolerantly. "Anyway it was just a suggestion."

Tenzo tried to think. "Well, usually I wear pajamas, yeah. But I'm willing to try it in just my shorts."

Bensaku snorted. "Of course you are." He unbuttoned his jeans and slid them down, then stepped out of them.

Tenzo almost fell over at the rush of blood away from his head.

"No funny business, okay?" Bensaku warned. It was practically an order.

Tenzo was distracted by the sight of Bensaku's white boxer shorts and muscular, sculpted legs. He'd seen muscular bodies before. Why did Bensaku's body seem so different and interesting? He swallowed, his heart thumping. "Uh...okay."

Bensaku gave him a mildly surprised and disbelieving look.

Tenzo imagined running his hands over Bensaku's bare skin. His erection ached. He immediately regretted the thought. It'll never go down. I'm going to spend all night with a boner. I'll walk funny the next day. Recognizing that line of thought as a disaster scenario, even as stupid as it was, Tenzo shut that thought down. He unbuttoned his cargo shorts and took them off carefully, not quite brave enough to let them drop.

"This is farther than we've ever been," Tenzo said, anxious to break the silence.

Bensaku nodded. "Mm-hmm." Then he scrutinized Tenzo's face. "Are you okay?"

Tenzo gestured down at himself. "I don't know...I guess I always wanted to turn out like you."

"That's the first time anyone has ever said that," Bensaku said mildly.

Tenzo pouted and punched him lightly in the arm. "I mean strong. Strong looking," he added before Bensaku could make fun of that, too.

"You've got some growing left to do," Bensaku said.

Tenzo couldn't decide if this was a bad time to bring up their age difference or not. Well, at least he didn't call me a kid. "But I'm never going to catch up to you. I'm never going to be six feet tall and -" He raised his arms parallel to the floor and flexed in a classic bodybuilder pose.

Bensaku snorted. "And you want to? Why?"

"Because..." Tenzo lowered his arms and shifted, looking at the floor. The white carpet was soft and thick under his bare feet. He flexed his toes. "Someday I want to protect people. Not be the one who's always protected. I want to be like you."

Bensaku laid a warm, callused hand on his shoulder. It felt huge. "You don't have to be six feet tall and built like a bull to protect people. You can protect people just the way you are."

Tenzo looked up at him. "That's a little bit of an exaggeration, don't you think?"

"No," Bensaku said.

Tenzo poked him in the chest and scowled. "I couldn't protect you."

"No one has ever been able to protect me," Bensaku said. "It's not a personal failing."

Tenzo resisted the urge to punch him in the chest and hugged him instead. "That's why I should. Because no one ever has. Because you deserve it. Because no one should have to be alone."

"I'm not alone," Bensaku said softly. He rubbed Tenzo's back.

"Not while I'm here," Tenzo agreed defiantly. He tightened his arms around Bensaku's waist. "I'm never going to let you be lonely. Not ever again. I'll figure out how to protect you, too." He could envision being angry and grief-stricken someday, but he didn't take the declaration back. People had to try to protect each other. If they didn't even try, what was the point of living?

After all, he was only alive because someone had tried to protect a bunch of kids from Orochimaru. If no one had tried, then there wouldn't have been any survivors. The people on the rescue team probably felt guilty for only saving one kid out of so many, but it mattered to Tenzo. He was that one kid. Because people tried to protect each other, he got to live and grow up and fall in love and get the chance to protect people of his own. Nothing was a wasted effort when it went towards protecting people.

"I love you." Tenzo stroked Bensaku's back in return. He looked up, into Bensaku's eyes, and said it again. "I love you."

Bensaku's gaze was somber. "I know." He kissed Tenzo gently. "Don't get yourself all worked up before bed. You'll have nightmares."

"Not with you here," Tenzo said.