Well hello you fabulous readers you! Again, I apologize for the delay; school takes up so much time! As such, I made this one longer than usually because I don't know when I'll get to write again thanks to finals. Anyway, hope you enjoy :)

I mope in my room for awhile. My mind hasn't stop racing, and I can't seem to pull myself together. I want to rise up in strength and show the guys just how supportive I can be. That is what I want, but I can't seem to do it. I feel too bad over the lives lost and the possible calamity the royal family is facing. I just don't know what to do anymore. I hear the time tick away, and I keep hoping every time I check the clock it'll say the tea is over, but I am not so lucky.

KNOCK KNOCK!

"Miss, may I come in? It's time to get ready for the tea."

Damnit.

"Come in, Ivan."

He comes in and looks concerned. "Are you alright?"

I know I don't look alright. I'm slumped on my bed and haven't bothered to move or fix my face. I look into Ivan's eyes and decide to just be honest. "No, I'm not. I know that's not the right answer, but it's the honest answer."

He walks closer to me. "There is no right answer when it comes to feelings; there is only what you feel. You're allowed to feel."

I close my eyes and sigh. I can tell he means it, but nothing I've learned during my time here makes his statement feel true. "Is more not expected of me? Shouldn't I just pull myself up and carry on?"

Ivan tilts his head and gives me a critical look. "You make it sound as if we lack empathy."

He's right; I do. That's not the case. I rub my eyes. "You don't, I know you don't." Maybe I did once upon a time, but not anymore. I rub my eyes a little longer, and then I look at him. "That meeting aside, aren't you mad at me?" I left without permission in the dead of night and I was gone when such horror broke out. Crap, even I'd be mad at me.

But to my surprise, Ivan shakes his head. "Master Jun explained everything to me, I'm glad you are here and unharmed. Next time, please inform me when you are leaving. If something were to happen to you…"

I'm reminded of my first day here, when Ivan more or less threatened me with death and then helped me get out of the harem invite respectfully. It seems like ages ago. Now he's here to help me prepare for a tea I've known about since my arrival, a tea I want nothing to do with.

I nod. I feel my head dip towards the bed. I can't bring myself to move. Ivan comes closer. "I'm sorry. I know this month has been a whirlwind affair, but you can relax knowing your duty is almost finished and that your passport arrived."

He hands it to me. I should be excited, but I am highly underwhelmed. It's really happening. This is really ending. It's all I wanted, hell it's what I wanted last night! But now? Now…there's just so much. I flip through the pages and stare at my picture; empty pages and a blank faced girl look back at me. That sums up things nicely. I sigh and set it down beside me. "Thank you."

"Only doing my job, my lady. Now then, how about we get you ready?"

I look back up at Ivan. "I do not want to go to this tea, Ivan."

Ivan studies me. "If that is your wish, I can't stop you. I wish you'd reconsider, but you've earned the right to stay away from events you don't wish to attend. If I may, I think it would be in your best interest to go. Master Lambert will be there."

I sigh, feeling a tad defeated. I should just confess to Ivan, but I can't. "Why would it matter if Lambert was there?"

For maybe the third time since I've been here, he smiles. "It was just a hunch."

I kind of swat at him. "A hunch? My ass! I'm convinced you just know everything."

He keeps smiling. "That is a stereotype of this profession that I find humorous. Having said that, you and I have spent quite a bit of time together, and I watched Master Lambert grow up. If I hadn't noticed certain things during either of those times, that goes beyond being an insufficient butler; I'd be a highly unobservant human being."

His smile makes me smile, as does his explanation. I'm also impressed he didn't correct my language. He sits on the bed next to me. "Will you go, then?"

My smile dissipates. "I really don't want to. What if I somehow make things worse? That happens a lot." I look back down at the beautiful bedspread. "And Lambert…well, I don't know what you see, but I see disaster."

I realize I'm extremely wishy washy on this matter. Hadn't I just made up my mind to tell him? Oh, but that was before I got this passport. The passport is reality, and Lambert is fantasy. I need to be realistic. I can't say anything, I just can't. I'll only slip further into disappointment, and I don't need that.

"What I see," Ivan says gently. "is a young lady who has worked very hard for a country she knew little about. You've been told that time and again, perhaps you should actually start believing it and accepting it, even if you can't or won't accept the gratitude given to you. Otherwise, I fear the last time I lay eyes on you, I will see a young lady full of regret."

Tears fill my eyes again. I look at Ivan and silently beg him to stop. He doesn't. "I know you don't want that."

Ivan's face blurs further as my tear accumulate. He's right. As I search for the right words, he continues on. "If I may be so bold-"

He stops. I'm shaking my head incessantly, and I feel his hand on my back. "No, Ivan. I know what you're going to say, and I can't take it. I need to stay grounded and pay attention to what is going on, not what I want to go on." A single tear slips out my eye. I can't believe I thought about Lambert earlier when people lost their lives.

Ivan nods. "Forgive me Miss, it's not my right to interfere. I thought perhaps-"

"Ivan, please?" I ask, feeling more tears come.

He keeps rubbing my back. I put my hands over my face. "I get it. I appreciate your words, I do, but it's just too much right now. I think this tea may put me over the edge."

"I'm sorry you feel that way." Ivan says, sounding rather sad.

I rub my eyes. "So am I." As I take my hands away, I look up at him. His eyes match the way his voice sounded. I feel like I'm letting him down. For as crazy as our relationship has been, I know he cares, and I care too. What he said about regret, will I regret it if I don't go? Mel was so adamant about making this work, how disrespectful would it be if I didn't go? Or what if I slacked on my duty now

I look back up at Ivan. "How do you do that?"

He looks confused. "Do what?"

"Every time I think I've had enough, you come in and put it all into perspective. How do you do that?"

He smiles. "I don't do anything; I am here to serve."

"Ha ha. Fine, play coy," I wink at him. "Well, I suppose I need to get ready."

I show up to the garden right on time. Since this tea is a big deal, it took me awhile to put together the perfect outfit, but I think I managed to look like the definition of a lady. I have on a white tea dress with a light pink sweater over it. Of course, I decided to wear heels, so I have on white pumps that have light pink bows at the back. Thanks to Ivan calling a few servants, I was able to get my hair curled and makeup done. They did a great job, the hair dresser even put a lotus blossom in my hair. I even have on white gloves and a pearl necklace similar to the one Jun gave me. Eat your heart out ladies.

As I approach the table full of guests, I feel my confidence begin to wane. Even from a distance, I can tell everyone is halfheartedly talking to each other. No one really looks happy (not that I blame them) and I'm sure I look similar. I don't see my seat for a moment, so I scan the table while I continue to walk forward. The princes are sitting next to their designated sisters, just like they did at dinner. The sisters look absolutely gorgeous, and I instantly am thankful I took the time I did getting ready, because it took all that just to be on the same level as them. The king even has one of his ladies with him, and she looks so refined and poised. I'm just about at the table when I see an empty chair at the end of the long table, opposite of the king. I'm thankful I'm not by Dania again

I'm about to sit down when Mel pops out of his chair and rushes over to me. He holds out my chair and smiles. "So glad you could make it!" I smile and sit down, he pushes me in. "Ladies, you were worried she wouldn't come, and yet here she is!"

Everyone is looking at me (except, of course, Lambert, who looks bored). With Mel's intro, my confidence has returned, and I smile. "It was an honor just to be invited."

I hear someone blow a raspberry, and I look down the table, shocked. It's Haya, and she got a huge smile on her face. "Honor? Honor? Darling, you belong here! I'd have come and dragged you out of your room if you hadn't come!"

I continue to stare in shock, but the rest of the table is laughing (except, to no one's surprise I'm sure, Lambert and Dania). Even Ivan, who is standing by the king, is smiling. I can't shake the lack of table manners and amount of laughter, and Tamir looks right at me. "The fair Haya is correct, foreign maiden. This afternoon would never have been complete without you, or my lovely wife." He smiles at the distinguished blonde woman next to him, and she smiles back. I'm a little surprised to realize I'm finally seeing a member of the harem, and she's not at all what I pictured. She's wearing what is obviously a designer pant suit. It's black, and it fits every curve of her body perfectly with no strain or wrinkles. She's wearing a pearl necklace and bracelet, her hands are finely manicured, and her skin is like porcelain. The only hint that she's around the king's age is that she has smile lines by her eyes; they are the kind of lines that only come with years of much laughter and happiness (or dare I say decades?). I can't tell her eye color from this distance, but her flaxen hair is perfectly wavy and goes well down her back. To say she's gorgeous is an understatement, and I realize with horror that Tamir must have somehow put me in the same category as her since he asked me to be in the harem. My god, I was expecting big boobed bimbos, but this goddess? Good lord…

I notice she's smiling at me. "Welcome, bracelet bearer. It's so good to finally meet you!"

I bow my head in her direction, hoping she didn't notice my staring or blushing. "The pleasure is all mine." I don't add that it's nice to meet a member of the harem.

Tamir laughs. "No, the pleasure is definitely all mine! Here we are, altogether, on this beautiful day, and I can think of no better way to enjoy my last tea as the king of this fine country!"

My god, he's right; this is his last tea as king! I'll be picking the king tomorrow right! TOMORROW NIGHT! And the crown is gone! And people died over who would be picked! Unrest is so high-

I feel a hand on my arm, and it stops my thoughts. I look to the right, realizing I didn't notice who was sitting by me. It's Chezem, and he looks so serious. I shoot him a look that says, "your father is talking," but he is not interested. He leans in closer while Tamir continues and everyone else looks at him.

"Try to enjoy yourself," he whispers out. "I realize Father is overdoing it, but it is his last tea, and it's important to him."

I take a good look at Chezem. Even if I hadn't been aware of his feelings earlier, it's obvious he does not want to be here. However, this is important, and everyone knows it's important. I can do this. I nod. "I will, I promise."

He pats my arm and looks back at Tamir, who is now looking at Lambert. He holds out his hands towards him. "My son has an announcement to make, and I, for one, cannot wait to hear what he has to say!"

Mel is to the king's right, and the blonde lady is to his left. Lambert is sitting next to the lady, and Dania is on his other side. He nods at Tamir and stands up. I'm noticing that the staff is off to the side with carts of tea and goodies, and they are clearly waiting for this announcement. My stomach automatically feels funny. Uh oh, what now? What happened now? Did something bad happen at the hospital? More bad news…wait, no! Lambert wouldn't do that! Not in front of everyone like this! This must be good news!

I smile and lean in. I'm very anxious to hear his news, and it looks like everyone else is too. Dania looks up at him with extreme adoration. Jealousy ignites in my chest. It's petty, but it's there, and I start wishing that I was sitting next to him.

"Thank you, Your Majesty." He looks around the table. "This is definitely a season of change for this country. This month has been, and still is, a trying time. We are up against many trials and tribulations, but this is not an indication of negative things to come. No, in order to succeed, we must embrace change, for change is not a bad thing. It makes us stronger, and it makes us better people. Amoungest all this change, I have a change myself that I'd like to announce." He glances down at Dania briefly, and then looks at everyone again. "Dania and I shall solidify our arrangement and thus have our engagement party as soon as we can."

And just like that, I feel my heart crack. It doesn't beat, it just sits there haphazardly and tries to figure out what on earth just happened to make its everyday function stop. I stare blankly and try to take in the various reactions. Dania is beaming. The sisters are smiling. Tamir has a sly smirk on his face, and the guys have so many different reactions that I can't even begin to take in. Tea and goodies are appearing on the table. I continue to stare.

In my blank and cracked state, I see Mel. He's looking right at me, and he looks like he can't believe what just happened. This reaction from a person who knew about the engagement possibilities all along, but I can't judge. I knew too. I knew, and yet…I dared to hope. Dared to dream. I kept trying to be rational but deep down I hoped. There is officially no reason to hope, and I've been smacked in the face by the stone cold truth I've always known. I can't even be mad, because I did it to myself. The crack deepens.

Dania is holding Lambert's arm, Tamir is standing up to say what I imagine is a form of congratulations, and I just stare. Suddenly, a strong hand clamps down on my shoulder. I gasp, but I know who it is. I look up.

"You look like you've seen a snake." Mel says. I was so out of it I didn't even see him get up.

I look away and narrow my eyes at Dania. "I think I have."

All the others are talking about the news and reacting accordingly. I notice that, amongst all the excitement and chatter, the rest of the guys have snuck a look at me. Each wears his own version of sympathy. No one is sitting (except me) despite the tea in front of us. Chezem, who had been looking at the happy couple, is now looking at me. "Amira-"

I glare at him. "Amira nothing, Chezem."

His face stays solemn. "You promised, and you are a woman of your-"

"Then maybe I need to take a walk." I hiss. I jerk my shoulder forward so Mel will let go, and I get up and walk away. Simple as that. Walk away. I couldn't any other time, but I can now. This garden is vast, and I can probably disappear easily. Maybe I'll disappear forever.

But that idea is quickly dashed when I feel a slender arm slip under mine. I glance over at the arm displaying such boldness, and then I look up at the person it belongs to. Her pixie cut shines in the sun, and she smiles at me. I don't have the heart to shake her off. "Hi Abla."

She keeps smiling. "It's good to see you again."

"Likewise." I mutter, looking ahead. My arm has automatically gone into the gentleman arm position, and her hand is now resting gently on my forearm. It's a sweet moment, and even though I don't feel like talking or being around anyone, I do not mind this so much. "Why aren't you with your family?"

I feel her shrug. "It's marriage talk; I'm not interested."

I nod. I don't wish to assume, but I think I know what she's getting at. "I do not blame you."

"More importantly, how are you?" she asks, obviously not wanting to talk about it. "I came over here for you, not me."

I sigh. "Too kind, once again." I keep looking ahead at all the plants. "I don't know how I am."

"That's a lie. Your energy is practically gray, and that's no color for a gentle heart to have."

A gentle, cracked heart. I think bitterly. "I don't think it matters, Abla. Actually, correction: I know it doesn't matter."

A half giggle comes out of her. "Rubbish! It matters very much. I'm sorry you had to see that."

I stop in my tracks, and so does she. I look up at her. "Why would you say that?"

She gives me a smile, and my heart cracks yet again. "Oh…no. Abla, please, not you too."

She nods. "Me too. It came up a lot in conversation, and oh my, how Dania hates you! I tried to convince her otherwise, because I know you are a good person-"

I shake my head. "Abla, she's your sister."

"She is, but why should that mean that you're not a good person? You are, and I like you."

I sigh, and pat her hand with my free hand. "I like you too, Abla. We haven't hung out much but I enjoy your company. Maybe we could have been good friends under different circumstances."

"Maybe," she says, smiling. "or maybe things could still be different?"

I shake my head again. "Why would you say that? I mean, really? I'm leaving the day after the ceremony."

She's still smiling. "I say it because I hope, that's why."

"Hope for what?" I ask, a little surprised by what she's saying.

She looks away from me, and stares into the distance. "For better."

There's pain in her look, and my eyes drop down to her hand. We only spent a few hours together, but what an impact they had. That hand, that elegant hand that brings forth such beautiful art that helps define a nation, touched me and let me know I'd always be a part of Bavan. But not just it…her too. One touch, and her deepest secret come forth, reminding me that I'm lucky and if only she wasn't feeling pain over something she had no choice in. The unfairness of the situation saddens me further, because what can I do?

"What makes you think I could help make it better?" I genuinely want to know.

She looks back at me. "Open mind and open heart." she says, trying to smile again. This time, however, her thoughts are clearly weighing heavily on her, because it's half hearted at best. "What if you stayed?"

I close my eyes and sigh. This is one more person I'm letting down. "It can't be helped, Abla. I do not belong here. I never did. Even if I did stay, where would I go? I'm so hated, and after I pick the king, it may only get worse. I can't put that on all of you-"

I stop. She has lowered her head, and her arm has slipped out of mine. "This country has changed. So much. Lambert says change shouldn't be feared, and he's right, but one can't move away from fear without hope."

My eyes widen. "Abla-"

"Foolish." she whispers, and walks away. I start to walk after her, but it becomes obvious that she doesn't want anyone around her. Well, this is just great!

I walk in the opposite direction of her and sit on a bench by the rose bushes. Servants are still walking around with trays of tea cakes and sandwiches; I guess the snacking doesn't stop just because the formal portion is over. I look around. Everyone seems to be chatting away merrily. At least some of them can enjoy this. Maybe if I take some time out to collect my thoughts, this all might so easier.

"Hello, may I join you?"

I look to my side. It's Dania. There's so much sugar in her voice it makes my teeth hurt. Crap.

I motion towards the empty space. "Please." This is going to be interesting, but I have to be nice.

"Thank you." She sits down rather gracefully, and immediately folds her hands and crosses her ankles. "So, what do you think of my news?"

Here we go.

I muster up every ounce of charm I have within myself to say the next words. "I think it's great. Congratulations!" I feel exhausted as soon as the words leave my lips, but they were said in such seriousness that I almost believe them.

An overly sweet giggle bursts forth from her. "Thank you. It was only a matter of time, being as madly in love as we are."

My cracked heart sinks. She's doing this on purpose, I know she is, but she's also telling the truth. I need to get through this. If I can, maybe that's a sign. Maybe I'll stop thinking about him right this moment. Maybe I don't feel what I think I feel. Maybe-

"It's going to be so amazing! We will have the wedding of the century, and I will be queen!That's just the beginning! We will have a happy marriage and, one day, we will be parents together!"

My heart drops in my stomach. Nope. "Oh, yes. It sounds like you have it all planned out."

"Of course! It was years in the making, and-"

Suddenly, Jun shows up. We both look up at him, and he smiles at Dania. "My my Dania, I've never seen you so chummy with an outsider. You two friends yet?"

She glares at Jun. "Friends? As if that would ever happen. Excuse me." She gets up and walks back towards Lambert's table. Lambert is speaking with the woman from the King's harem. I instantly get curious. I wonder what they could be talking about.

I look up at Jun, who's smiling. I smile as well, grateful for his timing and feeling the squeeze on my heart fade a bit. "Thank you."

He nods. "My pleasure. Let me guess, she was bitchier than usual?"

I can't help but laugh. "Oh you know, standard girl talk. 'Stay away from my man' and all that without actually saying it." Jun laughs, and I try to smile again. Her words are sinking in, but the situation still feels surreal.

Jun puts his hand on my back. "We didn't know. I suppose it was expected, but I thought…well, you know."

I nod. "I do know. But, when you think about it, this makes sense. They've been, what would you call it, together? For a long time? She seems to care about him, and they certainly are similar. I'm sure they'll be happy together." Even if they aren't in love… I look over at their table. Dania has rejoined Lambert and the older woman, and all three are smiling. It's the same smile he gave the kids. I wonder if it's real this time.

Jun raises an eyebrow. "Who are you trying to convince?"

I guess I wasn't very convincing. Who am I kidding? Of course it wasn't convincing. Throughout all of this, my honesty has remained intact, even when it would have been better to lie. I'm not really lying now…or rather, I'm trying to make something true. It's not working. I feel my lips form into a grimace, and Jun looks tender for a moment.

"I know you don't believe that, so-"

I shake my head and cut him off. "Jun, I have to. Things aren't going to turn out any other way, so all I can do is hope for the best."

He lets out a frustrated sigh. "The best for whom? That bitch? Honestly, I expected a little more feist out of you. You could do something about it, you know."

I can feel anger rising in my chest. It's my turn to glare at him. "I cannot. He made up his mind, as if there was anything to make up in the first place. Dania will take care of him."

Jun's about to say something else when I notice something is not right at Lambert's table. An uncomfortable look has crossed his face, and he's very slowly standing up. Both ladies look concerned, and then their faces turn into ones of complete horror. Dania screams and the older woman looks around frantically. I'm confused until I see Lambert put his hands around his throat. Oh my god, he's choking!

I'm off like a shot. Dania keeps screaming and the older woman is patting his back. The guard looks a bit bewildered but he registers what is going on when he sees Lambert's face. He's about to do something, but before he can, I reach the table and step behind Lambert. I wrap my arms around his waist and make a fist just below his rib cage. I ram my hands into his gut. He lunges forward under my touch. I still hear nothing. I ram him a second time, this time with every ounce of strength I have. I hear a gurgling sound, and then coughing. Oh thank god, he's coughing! He's breathing! Thank god!

He leans over the table, still coughing and trying to catch his breath. I bring his chair closer and gently guide him into a sitting position so he can relax. I rub his back softly as he slowly regains composure. I grab a glass of water and a napkin off the table. I dip the napkin in the water then softly wipe his mouth off. He looks over at me, wide eyed and obviously shocked. His eyes suddenly flood with gratitude, and I realize we have quite the crowd around us. Everyone starts clamoring, seeing if he's okay and what else can be done? Lambert waves it off.

"I'm fine. Please, everyone resume your good time. Everything's alright here." He nods towards me. "She's a medical professional, she can check me out." His joke at our first dinner; he remembered?

The crowd disperses, minus Dania and the older woman (who's name I still do not know). The woman looks grateful, and Dania just looks shocked. Lambert looks over at the guard. "You are dismissed, thank you for your time."

What?

He looks back at me. "So that's the proper thing to do when someone is choking. We all need to learn it, and it would appear I am in debt to you again."

"Lambert, no…"

He nods. "I am. I don't know what suitable repayment is for saving my life, but I'll figure it out. For now, I've sent the guards away. I apologize; that was foolish of me."

I don't know what to say, I just stand there. Dania looks pissed. She instantly swoops in and puts her hand on his shoulder.

"Lambert, sweetheart, I think you should go lay down. I'll take you to your room."

He shakes his head. "Thank you Dania, but that's not necessary. Actually, if you two wouldn't mind, I'd like to speak to her alone." He motions towards me.

Dania looks angrier still but the older woman smiles a huge smile. "Of course! No problem!" With that, she comes over and hugs me. Surprised, I hug her back. "Thank you, thank you so much for saving my boy!"

Her boy?! This is Lambert's mother?!

As they both walk away, I'm in shock. I just got hugged by his mother! I can't believe I finally got to meet the mom of one of the princes. I watch them walk away, trying to wrap my mind around what just happened. Yet again, I cannot.

I look at Lambert blankly. "That's your mother?"

He nods. "His Majesty brought her because of the news." He looks up at me. "Please, sit down."

I do. I can't believe I met his mom, she's so sophisticated and beautiful! Why would she want to be part of a harem?

He traces the edge of the tea cup in front of him with his index finger. "I'm man enough to admit when I'm wrong, and I've been wrong."

Well, what's this? Am I about to get an apology? My shock fades. This may be the last time I talk to him. I have got to make this count. I have got to prove I have this together. I give him a serious look. "Go on."

He looks at the table. "I've been acting like a fool instead of a man. I am capable of doing better." He looks over at me. "I will do better."

What is this? What is he trying to tell me? "I'm not following, are you talking about your engagement?"

He appears to blush. "No. Well, in a way, yes. There comes a time in everyone's life when you need to buckle done and get serious. With the succession ceremony tomorrow, I need to get serious. Marriage is part of that."

This man has been nothing but serious since day one, I still don't understand what he is getting at. "So, you think you are going to do better because you want to get married?"

He looks at me. "Marriage is not about want, it's about duty and responsibility."

To him, I suppose it would be. Even so, I cannot believe I'm hearing this. "You can't be serious. That's not what marriage is about at all! Marriage is about love and honor."

He looks annoyed. "That is not the case for me. Love…even if there was someone I loved, it wouldn't work. It just makes sense to marry Dania."

Hearing this makes me feel sad. His want, or perhaps it's a need, to do everything for this country seems to consume him. Does he even know who Lambert is, or does he just know Bavan? It's still admirable, but it's sad. I get a little sadder when I realize Dania, for all her faults, truly does love him. That thought turns the sadness into annoyance. "Ah yes, everything must be so sensible. Heaven forbid things go any other way."

He glares at me. "More is expected of royalty. I thought you would have learned that by now."

I nod. "If I've learned nothing else from this whole experience, it's that."

He looks back at the table and sighs. "I'm not trying to start an argument. I've already admitted to being a fool, but I guess I should explain better." He looks back at me. "I apologize for the guards. I could have handled that better, I see that now."

Now's my chance. "Why did you summon them to begin with?"

He sighs again. "I was conflicted. I didn't know what to do. The only thing that made sense was to keep you away from me."

What? "But why? I don't understand why! We could have talked about whatever was bothering you."

"Yes, I should have given you a chance; that was wrong of me. I hope you'll accept my apology."

He still hasn't said why. "I can't when I still don't understand why. It's the same as when you were ran away from me those other times. What did I do to you to make you feel like running and hiding from me were good options?" I do not understand that at all. For awhile, I thought maybe Dania might have had something to do with it, but I know that's not the case. So what was it?

I see that familiar twinkle in his eye. "Sometimes things don't make sense. When that happens to me, I try to revert to the way things were, so I tried to forget. Instead, I remember everything."

Oh geez, really? After all that? "What exactly do you mean by everything?"

The twinkle continues. "I mean the time I have spent with you."

If I wasn't so annoyed, I'd probably be blushing. Instead, I can't see past his confusing actions, and I need to know. I can't wonder forever. "And by everything, you mean…everything everything?"

"Yes, every sordid detail. I should apologize for my behavior over dinner as well. I don't know what got into me…aside from the wine of course. I shouldn't have done any of that to you."

So he remembers. Saying he forgot, trying to forget, it didn't happen. Now, here he goes again, apologizing for something he doesn't actually regret, but would prefer to make me feel bad about it instead of accepting it happened. "Sordid? Sordid?"

He looks at me like I just suggested he try wearing a dress. "What else should I call it?"

Oh that tears it. "If you must insist on calling it a mistake, fine, but if that has to be the case, don't you think some mistakes are worth making?" If only he knew the depth of that statement.

He raises an eyebrow. "Mistakes are only meant to be corrected, which I proved with the guards and admitting I've been a fool. I don't know what else to say on the matter, other than you've saved my life and I owe you."

I bow my head. My anger slips away, and I get sad again. Memories of us reel through my head, and it's like we're back where we started. I'm dying to tell him something that will mean nothing to him, and he speaks to me like I'm still a stranger. I wish he'd stop. "I am only thankful that you are okay. Please, please don't speak of being in debt to me. You owe me nothing Lambert, I just did what anyone would have done."

"Anyone didn't, but you did. I must find the perfect way to thank you."

I shake my head. "Lambert-"

"Stop protesting, it's unbecoming. I am a prince, and my word is final."

Suddenly, I find myself very upset. I really should be used to this boldness by now, but I'm not. "You don't have to play the royalty card every time I disagree with you; I'm more than well aware of your status. You don't let me forget it, or mine either for that matter."

He sighs and puts his hand on his forehead. "Something else I should apologize for I suppose." He suddenly shakes his head then rubs his forehead. "No, I said I'd do better, and doing better would be giving you an explanation."

I'm confused. Everything I have been feeling combines and washes over me, yet the dominant feeling is still confusion. An explanation?

His hand goes down and he looks me square in the eyes. "Do you remember when you asked me about my military service?"

My eyes go wide as his own continue to pour with conviction. "Of course I do."

"I was on the front lines, just as Melchiorre told you. I don't know how much detail he went into, but I was there because I requested it."

I nod. "He mentioned that. Why did you request that?"

"I did not deserve special treatment just because I won the birth lottery. Everyone serves this country, and I wanted to go in just like everyone else. I thought that would be the best way to fully serve this country."

Wow, this is the epitome of his extreme pride…but this doesn't sound like standard Lambert at all. "What was that like?" I decide not to add "to be with commoners."

His eyes go dark. "Nothing like I thought. I was ready for the combat and every horrible thing that could possibly come our way. What I wasn't ready for was the treatment from my fellow soldiers."

Instinctively, I reach out and put my hand on his knee. He glances down at my hand and gives a quick nod. "At first, it was teasing during boot camp. That was no big deal; we were a bunch of teens expected to act like adults at all times, so who was surprised by all the goofing off when the instructors weren't around? I also wasn't surprised when they all ganged up on me; there's always one, and I was the most fortunate of all the sons there."

"I always bashed on, there was no reason to acknowledge the behavior. However, instead of them losing interest, my ignoring them only seemed to exacerbate the teasing. It evolved into pranks, and it never stopped. I focused on my service and the fact that, no matter what, I was going to be a good teammate. That was drilled into us so much that it seemed impossible for anyone to do poorly when it mattered."

His eyes stay dark, but his hand goes on top of my hand. "Then we got shipped off to Oman. It wasn't one of the prouder moments in Bavan's history, but sometimes war is unavoidable." He squeezes my hand. "During one particular battle, my squad got surrounded and we needed an extraction. As we retreated, I fell and twisted my ankle. I expected someone to help, but they just kept running. No one even looked back."

Oh my god. I squeeze his knee and put my other hand on top of his. He sighs.

"That's when I realized I hadn't been taking the mickey, I had been on the receiving end of legitimate bitterness. All the pranks and quips about 'trying to prove to Daddy that I was a big boy, wanting to slum it, money saving me from any situation' were things they truly felt, and they decided to prove it."

I gasp, and he shakes his head. "Obviously, I got out, but I made some decisions that day. I was different from my subjects, but if I had to be different, at least I was on the better end. I was a royal, and they were just commoners. There was so much more I could do, and I vowed to do it without getting close to any of them. I didn't see the value in it."

Just like his squad didn't see the value in him. "Oh Lambert…I'm so sorry that happened to you. You didn't deserve that, nobody does." He drew a line in the sand, and he was reminded of it everytime he saw me.

He leans towards me, and his eyes go soft. "This isn't for pity; this is because I owe you."

He's so close. "You didn't have to tell me just because of that."

"That's not the only reason…" he mutters, looking down at our hands.

I feel myself blush. Oh god, ohgodohgodohgod. I want to reach out and hold this man, keep him in my arms until all the misunderstandings and pain melt away.

He keeps looking at our hands. "Maybe things could have been different…" he continues to mutter.

Oh god…

He abruptly pulls back, moves his hand out of mine, and moves his leg away. "Too many mistakes."

My eyes narrow. Oh my god, seriously? All of that, and this is how it ends? "Right."

On impulse, I begin to scoot back. This may be my last chance, but maybe I really don't want to know. He tells me a big secret and then pushes me aside? I don't deserve to be jerked around. However, the moment I'm about to stand up, his eyes go wide. Much to my surprise, I see what looks like fear flit through my eyes. I may have imagined it, but it's enough to get me to stop. His standard look returns the moment I face him again. Yep, I must have imagined it.

He looks at my hands for a moment, and then he meets my eyes. "Do you not agree?"

I resist the urge to blow a raspberry. "Does it matter what I think? You've proven time and time again that you're going to do what suits you. You may have Bavan's best interests at heart, but you care nothing for the individuals within it. I understand your reason, I do, but the past can't anchor you forever. You've said as much yourself. If your brothers, or even a random Bavani citizen cannot get you to bend, then what hope does a stranger like myself have?"

His lips stay in a straight line, but his eyes betray that he is clearly annoyed. "A stranger, are you?"

I'm back to feeling sad; I hope it doesn't show. "Am I not?"

He leans in slightly, his eyes never leaving mine. "And I suppose a stranger would be here now? With me? Talking as we are?"

My breath catches in my throat. Once again, he's really close to me. I try to stay focused, but all I can think of is the gentle scent of lotus hanging around him, and memories flow through me. No, strangers wouldn't go through what we have…

A tiny smile crosses his lips. "That is what I thought."

That smile. It's simple, but it melts my heart. It's genuine Lambert, the side he never lets anyone see. Maybe we would have been better off staying strangers. If we were, this wouldn't hurt so bad. Move on.

That's much easier said than done, but the memories stop, and I find my words. "Reading me like that…I don't like saying it, but that's not fair. I can never get a read on you."

I'm almost surprised I said that. However, he looks like he was expecting it. "I've had an infinite amount of practice; I'd be ashamed if you knew what I was thinking now, or ever."

Of course he would. I sigh. "I know."

He goes tight lipped again. "Do you?"

I give him a curious look. It's an odd thing to say. What is he thinking about? I shake my head. It doesn't matter. He should only be thinking about Dania. "What do you care what I think?"

He doesn't move. "Hmmm, indeed."

What?! What does that even mean? "What?"

"What do I care what you think?"

Oh, this is ridiculous! I don't know what this is, but it can't go on. It can't! It has a bad ending but that's just the way of it. Every question I had for him has been answered; there is nothing left to wonder. "It doesn't matter. You won't bend, and even if you did, it would be for Dania."

He seems to flinch for a second, but as always, he's so composed afterwards that I feel I must have imagined it. "I suppose that makes sense."

My heart aches. I realize that I truly had hope. I hoped maybe, just maybe, this talk would reach an ending that would have made us both so happy. It wasn't realistic. None of this entire situation was realistic, but it happened, and I guess I figured this could have happened as well. Enough. "You know what else finally makes sense?" I ask, resigned. "Mistakes being meant to be corrected. This will ALL be corrected when I leave after tomorrow."

He glares at me. "Your manners were flawless during the tea; I don't understand why you insist on being uncouth with me."

Oh jeez. "You won't have to worry about my manners ever again. You can rejoice in your oh so blissful engagement and be happy that your wife will be obedient."

Lambert's hands go into fists. He's upset now too. I can tell he's about to make another retort when suddenly Mel appears, all smiles.

"Well well well! What do we have here? A lover's quarrel?" He laughs and smacks Lambert on the back. "I see you've finally come to your senses, good for you bro."

Lambert looks furious. He stands up and looks right at Mel. "This is nothing of the sort, you blubbering buffoon! You'd do well not to stick your nose where it doesn't belong!"

Oh crap. Instead of looking upset, Mel just laughs. "Oh, this is very much my business. I'm glad you called the guards off, they didn't suit you at all."

Lambert turns away from Mel. "I don't have time for this! If the afternoon has dragged on so long that you have to take an interest in me, then it must be over. I'm leaving." He looks over at me and gives a quick bow. "Miss." With that, he walks away.

I continue sitting, still fuming, and look up at Mel. "Hi."

Mel sits and pats my knee. "You alright?"

I exhale. I didn't realize I had been holding my breath until now. "No, but I will be. This all just needs to sink in."

He frowns. "I'm sorry, sweetheart."

"Sorry? What do you have to be sorry for? You didn't do anything."

"I'm sorry he's so blind and stubborn. For what it's worth, none of us saw this coming."

I shrug. "Whatever."

He looks at me sadly. "You're still just as bad. I saw you when you were with Dania. You couldn't take your eyes off him."

I feel my cheeks starting to pink. "That's…that's not true…"

Mel is enjoying this. "It's a good thing you were. You acted rapidly when he started to choke, and you treated him so tenderly in the aftermath. It was heartwarming." He smiles. "What's more, I saw the way he looked at you; he's never looked at her like that."

My cheeks pink further. "But you just said…"

"What? That I don't blame you for being upset? I did say that, but you know, perhaps he needs just a push in the right direction," He looks thoughtful. "You need to tell him; it ain't over until it's over."

My eyes widen. "How do you know I didn't tell him?"

He gives me a quick smile. "Neither of you would have reacted to me the way you did if you had."

I shake my head. He's wrong. "You're such a meddler, Mel. That's it, Mel the Meddler. Just let it lie."

His pensive look continues. "I just don't want you to have any regrets. I want that for him too, but when you're dealing with a couple, sometimes one has a quality that the other doesn't. You know, to balance each other out. In this case, you'll have to tip the scales."

I rub my temples. He's encouraging everything I tried to stop a moment ago. My heart hurts worse. Why won't this stop? "Can you please stop torturing me? Why must you insist on rubbing this in?"

He props his elbow on top of the table and leans his head against his hand. "Because I was in a similar situation, and I wish I could say I did everything I could to make it work. If I had, maybe she'd be here with me right now."

Wow. "Mel?"

He's deeper in thought. It's obvious a scene is playing before him, a scene only he can see. "A few years ago, I was at a charity function. It was to stop human trafficking, something I feel very strongly about. The levels in this country have gone down in recent years, but I won't rest until they are at zero." He smiles hazily. "I met her there. She had been trafficked into the sex trade industry; ripped from her country with lies of becoming a dancer and forced into prostitution. I'd call her a victim, but she wasn't really because she pulled such strength from her experience." He peers over at me from behind this memory. "She was a speaker for the charity, sharing her experience and also helping get people out of forced labor. The minute she took the podium, I was entranced. She was so eloquent, and her story made me want to do all I could to end this continuous battle."

"I approached her during the function. Normally at such functions, I sit around and listen just to be more aware of my country, but because of the subject matter and her speech, I was much more active. Everyone was surprised and slightly intimidated, which is a common reaction to us, but not her. She also didn't sales pitch me, she spoke from the heart and I felt her passion. I decided to give the charity my full support, and she and I worked closely alongside each other.

The work was the main focus, but as time went on, she became my main focus. Her smile was like the light coming out of the doorway of a cathedral; so loving and full of hope, it melted my heart everytime I saw it. I didn't want to come off as disrespectful by asking her on a date, so I stayed quiet." He closes his eyes and a polite chuckle comes out. "It seems so silly now."

I reach out and touch his arm, "Mel-"

He continues. "Then, she decided to go on a rescue mission. They'd do that; get in contact with ladies who were the worst off, and try to bring them here. Each one took months of planning, and of course were highly dangerous. You never know what you're going to run into." He looks at me sadly. "I didn't want her to go, but she wasn't the type to be stopped once her mind was made up. She wanted me to go with her, but...more is expected of royalty, and after all the close calls throughout the years with my brothers, it just couldn't happen. I tried, but Father found out and threatened to cut off the monetary support we were giving the charity."

A long exhale blows out his lips. "I couldn't let that happen, so I had to stay behind. She understood, but before she left, she promised she'd come back to me. ME! She could have said anything, but she said that. I was so happy, but it got even better. Before their plane took off, I held her tight, and then…"

A somber smile slowly comes to his lips. "And then she kissed me. Even if I were to live a thousand lives being nothing but altruistic, I'd never be able to repay the world for giving me that moment."

Wow, he loved her so much! Why aren't they together? "What happened?"

His eyes go sad. "They never came back. The ring leaders spotted them during the rescue, and killed them on the spot."

"It was made even worse by the fact that I never told her how I felt. I could have told her everything, and then maybe at least I'd know she felt my love before she died. Now I just wonder, and I will always wonder."

"Mel, you did do everything you could; you can't blame yourself-"

He glares at me. "Can't I? I could of protected her, I could have tried harder to keep her here, I could have-"

"You also could have been killed yourself, or she could have resented you for being forceful. Many things could have happened Mel, but they didn't. You can't beat yourself up over something you had no control over."

He sighs, and now looks pretty annoyed. "If that's true, then maybe you should do something over a situation you do have control over instead of just complaining and folding."

Whoa. "Mel!"

He stands up and throws his hands in the air. "You know what? Do whatever you want. I will drop it; you won't hear one more word about it out of me. I just hope you understand what's at stake and how many people wish they had a chance to say exactly what they wanted to the love of their life."

The love of my life?! "Mel, that's not-"

"I don't care anymore," he scoffs, walking away. "Forget I ever said anything."

What the hell? What'd I do? I'm not the one who brought it up! Mel keeps walking, and I have officially had enough. I never thought I'd stomp away from the same place twice in one day, but here we are. What a disaster.