Second Chance, The Only Chance

For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn't understand growth, it would look like complete destruction.

Severus

Severus Snape had once worked for the Ministry of Magic.

It was two summer internships, starting the year of his graduation, and lasted three years of working under Lucius who had already been established at a working position. He would make torturous concoctions and poisons for the Dark Lord and ailments and health for the Ministry. Severus pulled in two large paychecks for a good amount of time, and for a little while lived a life of upper luxury.

But, Tom's work always paid more.

The half snake may never have felt warmth in tender ways, but he still knew how to make people happy and spoil them into doing what he wanted. Black bags of money were passed between blond and black as Severus went on his way to take his paycheck from the Minister's hand while looking Fudge in the eye with a grin. His life was simple, his life was busy, his life was paid off, and for awhile, Severus Snape was comfortably content.

But then he was caught.

And all of it went away.

It started with little highs during meetings, it helped put up with the screaming, and even Lucius and others were doing it, so it wasn't strange he started.. The sound of torture was unbearable for the hours they were forced to listen to it and followed them for days after. The eyes of the dead limp bodies that fell from the air was scaring and the poison he made and what the papers said was stressful at the least. But matching those poisons to those who wound up at St. Mongo's only to be treated using his healings was simply sickening and eventually, like all the rest, he succumb to drug induced silence and became part of the sensation of numbness.

Super Soldiers, the muggles call them..

When he was high he didn't care, his heart didn't sting and memories didn't bother him. He didn't eat, need to sleep but when he did it was easy and great, and he really didn't bother with much outside hygiene. He was always in his lab. His mind was clear and calm, he worked for hours in silence completely happy and unbiased to what he was making.

But then, he became foolish. Numbness made him incautious to decisions and the words that he made and said. He wouldn't care that his movements didn't hide the secrets he was passing, and soon he didn't care about anything at all..

But he did feel powerful. He decided who lived and who died and played with orders to test his limits. His work went to both sides and his payment came in loads, he became cocky and brash. So when the Aurors came through the front door of his flat with a warrant of suspicion, Severus Snape was less then ready.

Which led to Aurors and Azkaban.

Both Evil and violent to those who deserve no pity.

It was a short stay yes, but a stay nonetheless which left a paranoia that many would never recover fully from. It was torture from the start when he found himself in the center of a free mans bet. As a joke and a show, he was locked in a medium sized room with Sirius Black where they would remain together until the foreseen future arrived. They were bound to chains by a single ankle and at their neck. The binds long enough so they could touch, but do little more then grab and rip with nails and words.

The beginning was nothing but insanity, the two had waited long enough for time alone and the isle would be dedicated to their screaming and fighting for the first month in a half until their voices broke. As he succumb into the depression of his limitless prison life and it's dementors, Severus remembered glancing over to the long haired man that sat on the floor across from him, legs out, back and shoulders slumped against the wall in a near mirror image of himself. Eyes locked, both men sat in the same numb, limp position, eyes locked for hours and hours after that. There was nothing more to be said that wasn't screamed hundreds of times in the past month, and their arms were wrapped by their own clothing as both quickly found Azkaban no place for open and untreatable wounds.

The third month past, and Severus watched out the sole window high above Sirius's head as chilled gusts of wind broke apart the heat they sat drenched in.

A short time later, he would be released much to Sirius's great anger. Severus was brought to the prison on multiple counts of factual confessed murders, a factual and admitted Dark Lord following, and multiple poisonings that was not given a number... But, Albus chose to save him over Black. The old man took him away from the darkness and gave him shelter and a life with the future of a job and people who would attempt to tolerate his abnormal behaviors. Above all, Albus gave trust where trust was not earned or reasonable. For that, Severus would always be in Albus's dept. A dept seemed would run the length of the old man's life and would end at the tip of Severus's wand.

Unfortunately, at the point of his prison release, Severus was not a very strong man.

It was after Lily died and Severus carried the infant boy from the house, appertaining to the person he often found himself speaking to after lights out and who always looked at the neutral party during his school days..

The Half-Giant, Hagrid.

He didn't know where else to take the child, but refused to allow the infant to drop into the hands of the Dark Lord. Silver mask intact, Severus took the train and erased the memory of him and the boy from the minds of everyone who saw him using forbidden magic. Upon arrival, he stepped onto the grounds of Hogwarts, bringing alarm and quick enough the thunderous jog of Hagrid.

He didn't know what to do, he didn't know what to say. He was high on drugs that he had slipped under his skin in the locked compartment as his body shook and his mind screamed and ran the death stricken face of Lily in front of his eyes as the infant Harry gurgled and crawled on the compartment floor.

He didn't have an option. He couldn't just be a crying, pathetic mess in front of Hagrid, which would no doubt lead to at least Albus coming to talk.. He couldn't allow himself to show how much he was affected by that night.. He couldn't let them know he still loved her….

He had held infant out as Hargid slowly stepped up the him. Eyes of pure hatred for the silver mask, but features confused over what was being presented to him. This is when Minerva came swiftly down the stairs to the train platform, wand pointed and asking questions to Hagrid in a stern, all business voice.

He was taken to Albus where he broke to the man in private. Where the intoxicant hit it's highest point and his heart spilled years of failure and pain. This seemed to be the point Albus wanted, for after a stay at Hospital to detox, Severus was placed as Potions Master and Head of Slytherin, where his scars and demons would be used to protect those like him, from a fate like his.

And that's where he sat now.

At the desk in front of a classroom of children he didn't like, doing what he could to teach them what they need to know about potions and now Dark Arts. He had no interest of teaching, though he had interest in potions and loved to dabble in shadows. He had no interest for those around him, but close enough enjoyed time listening to the Staff bustle about in the staff room. He was the youngest staff by far in this final year, and over the last many years, he found himself speaking with the half giant at nights that proved too stressful. He would remain quiet and the two would drink and talk of other things using their less of an age difference to their favor.

But lately it had been Kayne that he preferred the presence of, or lacking of at this very moment.

The entirety of the time Severus knew her, the girl had a habit of traveling the grounds or in the courtyard while favoring the night time over the day. Before this point, with the Dark Mark and release of secrets, she would come get him and pull him from his office and papers to stroll at her side and she spoke of frivolous things in the dead of night. The past two years had been the most time he had ever spent with someone at a time. Where in the beginning she would only bother him with potions and mentor related questions, the years past and she would come over to curl up in his arm chair and drink tea and read. They would speak of their interests and questions, while playing chess or other calming distractions.

Over time, her presence became bearable at the least.

He looked down at the note on his desk. It was from Kayne who had written she would come by tonight and wanted to possibly go for a stroll. It was her first sign of direct contact since the event including his Dark Mark. Placing his hand over the note he slid it off the desk and into his drawer with his palm as his eyes lift to the working class before him. Slowly, Severus rose to his feet.

...

Severus leaned his back against the doorway to his office waiting for her. His black and dark green scarf was wrapped around his neck as he wore a fit styled outfit under a calf length black jacket. He looked up as she came around the corner of the dungeon. Narrowing his eyes and pushing off the wall he falls into space by her side and quietly began walking at her pace.

Like many nights before this one, he followed her aimlessly through the dark and empty grounds. He followed her through the long dirt path and stopped as he recognized the way they were going.

"Kayne." His voice low and cautious.

Stopping mid sentence, she turned around and stepped through the stone gate backwards and gestured him over the security.

"Come on."

"Where?" He asked raising his chin, speaking as if humoring a young child.

"Anywhere."

"It's against the rules for-"

"And you are head of Slytherin." She snapped with a dark smile, "If you can hit kids in the back of the head with books, and insult them outright to their faces, you can sneak off the grounds with me for a little while and relax without getting fired."

Immediately he picked up pace and started through the gate, pressuring her backwards, the steps she willingly took. His hand came out and grabbed the front of her robe and he closed his eyes as Kayne grabbed Vex's scruff. In a puff, Severus took them from the spot.

Kayne

Where they landed Kayne knew instantly, and ran across the platform to wooden banister and looked down over the edge.

Boggins Park

"This is by my house!" She smiled looking back at him.

Kayne took off with her dog and made her way to the multi story, multi pointed castle of a play set. Climbing over swinging, chain held pols, she used the rope to climb up the wall she easily could have scaled. She jumped along the mini platforms. Higher and higher she climbed until she came to the highest point. Wooden benches lined the circled, pointed dome tower that looked out over the city. Circling slowly, she looked out over houses and flats and out onto the grassy lands behind the small town that spanned in a beautiful open landscape. sitting on her knees, she rose she looked out a small metal barred window. Leaning against the wooden sill, Kayne moved her weight to her elbows and leaned out into the silent, crisp night.

Forgotten, Severus and came up at her side, Kayne flinched in surprise which earned a mocking smirk from him.

"It's also by my house." He said smoothly, looking through the large window. He was standing behind her, but just off to the side where if she turned only a alittle, his form landed comfortably in her peripherals.

"What?" Kayne looked up at him and saw his attention towards the west.

"Over there." He pointed with a long finger in the direction to a cluster of houses that sat before smoke stacks and the factories, "It was quite a time getting up the hill."

For what he was saying, his emotional response didn't match. He wasn't mad as if there were terrible memories, but nor was calm as if it were pleasant times. The constant conundrum with Severus Snape, was that the man had the ability to show nothing at all.

"So you got history here too, huh?" She asked as if she were talking to a friend, her foot crossing behind her ankle as she relaxed against the barrier.

The silence that followed was one of private thought, and Severus tapped his hand once on the ledge before stepping away and starting down the columns. She watched him for a moment before following him. She followed down the chain rocking logs, and steps. She followed him over the swaying bridge and up a few sets of stairs. There was even a bridge and brought them to the third highest of the five pointed castle. In a move which surprise Kayne, Severus swiftly climbed onto the banister and turned to face her direction. His head to his shoulders war cut off from her view and when his arms raised up, she swallowed nervously. In a swift move, Severus got his grip and using the palms of his hands on flat edge above them, he pulled himself up onto the outer exterior of the dome.

Hushing Vex's whining, Kayne followed and refused to look down the very steep fall as she crawled her way to Severus, who was crouched on his knees at the very top. With one hand he was holding on to the flag pole with one hand and looking down at something in the wood that his other fingers traced.

Without saying anything, Kayne scrambled awkwardly over the edge and came up behind his shoulder.

Severus, Lucius, Narcissa, Regulus, Lilly.

Carved and burned, their names shone in individual script and Kayne looked up to see Severus looking out over the landscape.

"He ignored her." His voice came distant and airy as the wind. "He never called her anything until I messed everything up."

She knew without asking he was talking about Lucius and Lilly. She couldn't help by smile at the private thought of Lucius respecting a muggleborn.

"You guys really did grow up here, huh?" She said with a sigh, looking out to where her home was.

"Most of us did…."

She didn't say anything further and instead she came to his side and settled by his knees, sitting on the ledge of the lipped dome with her legs hanging off the edge. Kayne rest her head against his leg and watched the open world in front of her for a long time. They sat in silence until Kayne's movements snapped his attention as did flinch his body.

Clearly, she thought, he had been deep in thought.

Slowly she lowered herself back on the platform inside and he took one more look at the names of what would still be here, long after they were all gone. Taking another look onto the land, he nods his head and pushes off back down to Kayne.

Severus

She was gone when he got down but he heard her running from across the fort. She was playing her own games while acting in her own world, jumping from platform to platform. Upon seeing her, he could almost watch her imagination running as she jumped, lept and pushed around corners and "enemies" out of the way. Looking down at the dog who by now was running around the base of the fortress, Severus made his way back to the highest sitting point of the castle, and took a seat on the wooden bench and went to watching out the caged window.

He heard her coming back up the stairs a short time later, and glanced over to the opening with his eyes. As he watched her came into view, he saw her trip and take a heavy stumble. He also noticed the dog that quickly jumped ahead of her, and placed himself between them.

"He doesn't want you coming over to me." Severus said aloud in a grim tone as she quickly stabled herself.

"I don't really care what he wants, because I know what's best for me."

"You do?" He huffs looking back out the window.

"Yup."

"Then why are you coming over here..?"

She stopped her struggle with her dog and looked straight at the walls inside his head.

"What are you saying?" Kayne asked straightening up.

He didn't like what had started, but he had started it non the less.

"Simply, that placing yourself at my side has issued nothing but disaster of the worst kinds."

"From the beginning? Excuse me, I thought I impressed you with "my skill."

"'Your skill?" He smirks as Kayne lands on the bench on the other side of the window.

"Yeah, my skill."

"Everyone has skill child, it is the ability to master greatness that impresses me." His eyes flashed with darkened energy and he used hi eyes to look up at her though his hair.

"Spoken like a true, Slytherin." She laughs.

"Am I anything less?"

The silence that followed obviously made her uncomfortable, or, maybe she didn't know how to respect it, because she moved her molars together in thought as she looked at him as he looked out.

"Hows your arm?" She asked softly.

'Healing."

"Your arm?"

"I tested negative for rabies." He mocked distastefully.

"That's nice they tested you for that. Clears a few things up."

He passes her a look he doesn't hold and the space around them dips to quiet again. And of course after only a few minutes of silence, Kayne started fidgeting again.

"So why did you bring us here?" She asked.

"I was under the impression I would be allowed to relax."

Giving him a sigh, Kayne slipped herself at his ankles with her back against the seat and sat without touching him. He waited expectantly and as predicted not much longer after getting settled, Kayne started off on another conversation and gave a sigh before leaning back and began half listening to what the younger women was saying.

That night they watched the sun rise, and together they stayed until the large ball of orange lift over the landscape.

"It's time to go." His voice came quietly as she forced down a yawn.

Without a word, Kayne tightened her fingers around the man's ankle with one hand, and with the other grabbed her dog's chain collar. Her breathing caught as she felt his fingers slither down from the top of her head, down to the back of her neck, and tightening his fingers into a secure hold at the base of the back of her neck. Without a word or a moment to bother, Severus took them from the spot, disturbing only the small grouping of crows that sat above their heads unseen.