"My Mother"
By EsmeAmelia
AN: YEEEEEESSSSSS!!! YEEEEEEESSSSS!!!! YEEEEEEESSSS!!! ONE. THOUSAND. REVIEWS!!!!!! OMG, OMG, OMG, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!! (clears throat) Well, I'd like to thank all who made this possible. I still can't believe that this story has so many fans. When I first started I thought no one would like it.
Chapter 38
"I can't believe they actually had this," Padme said as she gaped at the vehicle she had just rented, which now bobbed on the water's surface next to the dock. Leia, Han, and Chewie stood next to her, looking like they were wondering what sort of crazy escapade she was planning.
"Uh, yeah, nice, but what is it?" said Han.
"It's called a bongo," said Padme. "Used for deep underwater transportation. With this thing we can even go through the planet's core."
What? growled Chewie.
"Hold on a sec - ya mean we're goin' through the planet's core?" exclaimed Han.
Padme nodded. "I have friends on the other side of the core who might be able to help us."
Han and Leia looked at each other before Leia gripped her stomach and said,"Is it safe for pregnant women to ride?"
"I think so," said Padme. "Underwater travel is pretty smooth - unless we get attacked by a giant gooberfish or something, but that doesn't happen often." She grinned at her daughter. "And even if that does happen, we've got an experienced pilot to maneuver us out of danger."
"So I'm drivin'?" Han said with his lopsided grin.
"If that's the case, I'm definitely staying behind," Leia said with a groan.
"Uh, I actually meant me," said Padme. "I used to drive these things when I was queen." She eyed her son-in-law, giving him a sly look. "But if you really want to drive, I could teach you how. It's not that different from flying a ship."
"You got yourself a driver," said Han, flashing his cocky grin at Leia.
Leia sighed through her teeth. "You had this planned, didn't you, Mother?"
Padme merely grinned.
---------------------------------
Meanwhile, Rianna sat on her throne, staring out at the empty room. It felt slightly strange to be sitting here wearing a worn shirt and pants with her hair down and an unpainted face, but she felt that she needed to gather her authority before her next Force lesson. She gripped the arms so tightly that her hands began to sweat. Why was she still agreeing to learn about the Force from...from him?
Luke cautiously entered the room, once again wearing only black, except for what looked like a silver tube attached to his belt - something Rianna was certain he didn't have last time. It looked somewhat like it could be used as a weapon...why hadn't her guards removed it from him? He carried a bag over his shoulder which probably contained things Rianna wouldn't be happy about.
When he reached the throne, he put down his bag and bowed low at the queen, after which she reflexibly stuck out her hand, holding it limp in front of him.
"Uh, hello, Your Highness," Luke said, giving her hand a confused look.
Rianna stuck her hand out further. "You're supposed to kiss it."
"Why?"
Rianna ground her teeth before talking. "Call it a peace offering, call it an apology for slapping you, call it whatever you want, just do it."
Though he still appeared confused, Luke gently took her hand and kissed her knuckles, which sent unexpected shivers through her nerves. For a split second after his lips left her skin, she felt that she wanted them back, before her rational side took over and reminded her to feel disgusted. She shook her hand rapidly, as if trying to visually inform Luke that the kiss was only etiquette and nothing further - she did not enjoy it.
Luke cleared his throat, looking like he felt as awkward as she did. "Your Highness, are you ready to start?"
Rianna slowly rose from her throne, the elevation of her seat giving the image that she was taller than Luke instead of the other way around. "Yes Skywalker, I'm ready," she forced herself to say.
Luke motioned for her to come closer to him. "Have you been practicing at all?"
"No," Rianna said quickly, perhaps a little too quickly.
"Are you sure?" Luke persisted. "You're showing a lot of Force competence for someone who's had only one day of training."
Rianna gulped, feeling like she was trying to keep food down. "How can you tell that?"
Luke stepped up to her. "Well, yesterday you seemed to be calling out to me through the Force, something I haven't taught you. My mother told me that you appeared to be unconsciously reading her thoughts, which is also something I haven't taught you."
"I don't know what you're talking about," said Rianna, struggling to keep her voice from quivering. Flashes from her dreams of the past two nights were jumping in her head.
"You may not be aware of it," said Luke, his voice firm but not harsh, "but I think something is subconsciously teaching you."
Subconsciously teaching her? Rianna concentrated all her willpower on not letting herself tremble. She wanted to think that his suggestion was ridiculous - she pressed that notion in her head like a law she was trying to memorize, but the law's words escaped her and her body began shaking. Her hands grabbed her shirt, trying to cease their vibrating before Luke would notice, but that effort also proved itself in vain.
"Rianna, listen to me," said Luke. "I know how hard this is for you to believe and I understand why you hate me..."
"I never said that," Rianna interrupted as if it was her reflex to do so.
Luke didn't acknowledge her interruption. "...but I have very strong suspicions that the dark side is calling for you. If you wish to escape my father's fate, we need to work together."
"You happen to be talking to someone who was taught that you father was a noble commander, Skywalker," said Rianna, though the sight of the black helmeted man in her head pulled at her nerves.
"Well do you believe that he was a noble commander?" Luke persisted.
Rianna slowly turned her body away from the Jedi. "I thought I did..."
"But you don't," Luke said.
Rianna twisted her neck to look back at him. "I didn't actually say..."
"That wasn't a question," said Luke. "I can feel that."
The queen sighed as her body rotated once again, this time back to facing Luke, her eyes concentrating on the stray hairs sticking out of his head, feeling unable to look him in the eye while Darth Vader was the subject. "My advisor met your father when she was a girl...I suppose you know that."
Luke nodded, a low exhale leaving his nose.
"She said..." Rianna continued, "...that he was completely different back then."
Luke nodded again. "Whether you believe my father was noble or evil, he had no will. The dark side of the Force is like a slave driver, controlling not only people's actions, but their minds as well."
"And yet people turn to it willingly?" Rianna said, her eyes beginning to dry.
Luke sighed, his eyelids lowering, allowing Rianna to see the blue lines of veins on his lids. "Master Yoda told me that the dark side is very seductive. It offers empty promises to the desperate."
"But I'm not desperate," Rianna said so quickly that it sounded like her words were running into each other.
Luke's eyes raised back up to face her. "You may not think so, Your Highness, but I beg to differ." He gestured for Rianna to follow him. "But talking about it isn't going to help you resist the dark side. Come on, let's begin your lesson."
Luke led the queen to the center of the room, where he removed the silver tube from his belt and held it in front of her face. "Do you know what this is?"
A flash exploded in Rianna's head, a flash of a stream of red light coming out of that tube. Like ripples in the water, it grew more vivid in her mind until she thought that she was actually seeing the red light in front of her, but then the image vanished.
She vigorously shook her head. "No," she said. "No, I don't."
Luke pushed something on the tube, emitting a low humming sound as a shot of green light emerged from the tube, making Rianna gasp like she was being sucked out of a spaceship. She had seen this thing before...only in her dreams, the light had been red.
"This is a lightsaber," said Luke. "The weapon used by both the Jedi and the Sith."
Rianna gulped, her hand reaching out to feel the heat of the blade. "I've heard of these..." she said as if she were under a spell, "...but I've never seen one. At least not..." She found she was unable to add at least not when I'm awake.
"This is mine," Luke said, as if Rianna had expressed that she thought he was giving it to her. "If you proceed well with your training, perhaps I'll make you one. However, today you'll be borrowing mine."
Rianna's right foot stepped behind her without pulling the rest of her body with it. "Why?"
Luke deactivated the lightsaber, sucking the light back into the tube. "It will help improve your reflexes, as well as your ability to reach out with the Force."
"You certainly sound like you're trying to make me into a Jedi," Rianna said with a sniff, her body aching to follow her foot into the realm of stepping backward away from Luke.
"I'm not," said Luke. "How many times do I have to repeat that this is to help you?"
"As many times it takes for me to believe it, Skywalker," said Rianna.
Luke sighed. Rianna thought she saw his eyeballs roll at her, but she couldn't be certain. His arm stretched out toward the queen, his fingers relaxing their grip on the lightsaber. "Here," he said. "See what it feels like to hold it."
Rianna's hand seemed to have lost its motivation to move. She moistened her lips as she stared at the tube like it had some great power that the holder of it could never give back.
"It's all right," Luke said like a father telling his child that there was nothing scary in the dark. "Take it."
Something possessed Rianna's hand to pick up the lightsaber, which was still warm from Luke's touch. Around five seconds later, the same thing possessed her to press the button which activated it, shooting the green light in front of her face and stilling her breath. As several moments passed she simply stared at the green blade, her mind being carried back to her dreams of the red blades.
"Do they come in different colors?" she whispered.
Luke raised an eyebrow. "Sometimes," he said. "Most of the Jedi used either blue or green, but occasionally they were made in other colors. For example, my sister wanted an orange one - just because it was different from the norm."
"What about red?" Rianna forced herself to ask.
Luke sucked in his breath, seemingly trying to restrain the sound but not doing a very good job. He breathed again a few times before answering.
"Red lightsabers were only used by the Sith," he said.
Rianna couldn't stop her breath from quickening its pace. The red lightsaber from her dreams was pounding in her mind like a headache.
And in her dreams, she suddenly remembered, she had been holding it.
Luke meanwhile had reached into his bag and pulled out a small remote shaped like a ball. "Your first task with the lightsaber is simple," he announced, but there was something about his tone that made Rianna wonder if his definition of simple was different from everyone else's.
"What is it?" the queen asked.
Luke tossed the remote lightly in his hand. "I will activate the remote, and you will use the lightsaber to block its firing."
Or maybe she was wrong - his description seemed like it was simple enough. At least it didn't seem to require any unusual skills. She nodded almost without being aware that she was doing so.
"All right," said Luke.
He pressed the button on the remote, sending it hovering toward Rianna. As if by reflex, she immediately held up the lightsaber, the blade running horizontally in front of her chest. Within a second, a blast shot out from the remote, which caused Rianna's hands to instinctively turn the blade vertically and block it.
"Good job," said Luke.
The remote fired again, and once again, the queen blocked it, barely thinking of what she was doing. For several minutes, she performed her actions like a droid programmed to defend herself from the remote, not making any conscious decisions, moving through her dance with the lightsaber as if it was part of her deepest instinct.
"All right, that's enough," Luke said, after which Rianna deactivated the lightsaber, even though Luke hadn't told her to.
The Jedi's eyes were wide and his lips were separated from each other. "That's...a lot better than my first time with a lightsaber."
Rianna hoped Luke didn't notice her swallowing. "Well, I've had combat training before - that could have something to do with it."
"It could," Luke repeated, not sounding convinced. "Anyway, I think it's time to proceed to the next level."
"The next level?"
Luke reached into his bag and pulled out a round black helmet with a blast shield that covered the eyes. "Try the same thing again, but this time, put this on first."
Rianna wrinkled her nose at the helmet. "Why? Are you worried that the remote will blast my brain out?"
Luke sighed and shook his head. "As my old teacher Obi-Wan Kenobi once said, your eyes can deceive you."
"Yes I know," Rianna said hastily. "As you said last time, eyes aren't necessary for the Force. I would have thought you'd have a better memory than that, Skywalker."
Luke chose not to acknowledge that comment - instead he strode up to Rianna and put the helmet on her head, shrouding her eyes in blackness.
"Is this really necessary?" protested Rianna, feeling like she was balancing a rock on her head. "Why not just blindfold me?"
"I don't have a blindfold," Luke said, his voice slightly muffled from the helmet covering her ears. "Besides, I think the helmet helps you feel more enclosed, which frees you to reach out with the Force better."
Rianna was about to point out the ridiculousness of Luke's paradox statement, but she heard the remote being reactivated, which sent her reflexes back into activating the lightsaber and preparing to defend herself, although this time she didn't have the slightest idea where the remote would strike.
"Reach out with the Force," Luke instructed.
She wanted to say that she didn't know how to do this. Levitating a stone wasn't the same as knowing where something she couldn't see was...right? With the heavy helmet pressing down on her head and the blast shield making her world dark, she felt as if the remote wasn't even there - she was isolated in her own space, even though she could hear the remote's buzzing outside her world.
She was alone - Luke would give her no further instruction, though she hadn't the slightest idea how she had come to that conclusion. Reach out with the Force, how did she do that? How did she do that last time? She closed her eyes, even though she was already in the dark, once more imagining that her soul could reach beyond the constraints of her body and find the remote.
Suddenly it seemed like the remote's shape was forming in her mind, driving her hands to move the lightsaber to the left, after which she heard the clashing of the remote's blast into the blade. Her breath increased speed, adding heat to the confined space of the helmet. What did she do? How did she do it?
Whatever she did, she continued doing it, the external sounds informing her that she was succeeding. Once again her mind seemed to be automatically making decisions for her - her thoughts stilled and let her reflexes take over.
"Goooood, gooooood..."
The still, silent voice inside her head stilled her hands, but did not open her eyes. She knew this voice...very well, in fact.
"The Force is strong with you, young Rianna."
Her body ceased motion altogether as her soul traveled further and further into her mind, following the low, raspy, silent voice as if it had tranced her.
"Yet what are you doing? Who is teaching you this? Your enemy?"
Part of her vaguely tried to remind herself that she wasn't here, this voice wasn't really
speaking...but where was she, then? The path between her and her memories seemed blocked. Her physical body, which only the tiniest part of her knew was still there, felt itself standing on a floor holding something, but that was all she could reach to.
"Rianna, sweetheart? Rianna, where are you?"
This voice was different from the previous oneit was warm and inviting - and a voice she knew even better than the previous one. Her heart throbbed at the sound her physical ears couldn't hear.
"Rianna, I can't find you."
She desperately wanted to call out to the voice, but she couldn't remember where her mouth was. Whatever this darkness was, she suddenly realized that she was trapped here.
"Rianna...Rianna, help me! Where are you??"
Rianna shot her head in all directions, but found no light.
"RIANNA, HELP ME!!!"
She ran - both in her mind and with her body, towards his voice. Her consciousness grasped that the thing her physical body was holding was a weapon of some kind - a weapon she could use to kill the attacker...to save him.
"Yeeeessss, yeeeesssss..."
The dark, raspy voice was back, urging her on, telling her that the enemy was right in front of her. She screamed, jumping into a fighting position, raising her weapon to strike...
"Rianna! Rianna, stop! RIANNA!!" shouted a voice into her physical ears, reminding her of their existence. A second later, she felt the weapon being yanked out of her hand and the heavy black thing was pulled off her head, snapping her back into the physical world.
"Rianna, what happened??" the voice exclaimed - the voice she now recognized as belonging to Luke.
She blinked ferociously, feeling dazed as if she had been jolted out of a dream, remembering only disjointed fragments of what had just happened. Palpatine's voice...her father's voice...Luke's voice...running...a weapon...
"I...what...did I..." she stammered.
"You were practicing with the remote," said Luke, whom Rianna noticed was now holding the lightsaber in one hand and the helmet in the other, reminding her of what she had been doing. "Then you just stopped moving for a while, and then...well...you..."
"I what??" Rianna gasped. "What did I do??"
Luke tightened his grip on the lightsaber, as if he thought she would snatch it from him. His eyes became wide balls staring at her. "You...screamed really loudly...and then you charged at me. You...well...you looked like you were trying to kill me."
Rianna's mouth hung open as she stared at the now-lifeless tube in Luke's hand, her insides feeling like they had been crushed. Was that what she was trying to do while she was inside her head...kill Luke? Her breath became more and more audible and her stomach grew even tighter as that realization sank in.
But didn't she want him dead?
No...no...she shouldn't think like that...
She couldn't think like that...
Her mind chased her memories of the last several minutes like a starving predator after its prey, desperately trying to find the moment when she had fallen under that spell of whatever it was, but they were already fading like the memories of a dream, becoming blurry pieces of time that part of her began to wonder if they had ever occurred.
"Rianna..." Luke whispered, "...do you want to talk about it?"
The queen stared at the Jedi's eyes, his words echoing in her mind.
"Whether you believe my father was noble or evil, he had no will..."
"He had no will..."
"No will..."
"No will..."
Air inched its way out of her mouth like she was being choked. Luke's eyes seemed to be sending her a message that things were all right now, but that only shook her more. What other sorts of messages could she hear, what more would happen to her when she tried to use this Force, what else was looking for her? Like a frightened animal running from a landspeeder, she fled from the room.
AN: Wondering (or dreading) where Padme and the others are going? Well, yes, the next chapter should be infamous, but I assure you that it WILL serve a purpose, so please stick around. :) In the meantime, you might like to check out my new story, "Mark of a Rebel." (Yes, shameless self-advertising, so shoot me.)