Dude Looks Like a Lady

Request for Agent Mujaji

Clint shuffled off the elevator and into the Tower once reaching the floor that contained his room. He had just returned from a month-long mission in another country, and he was exhausted. All he wanted to do was drop his bags on the floor of his room and collapse into bed.

He was on his way to do exactly that when a shiny (f/c) object lying on the floor caught his eye. Despite his exhaustion, something inside him told him that the object was yours, leading him to stray from the path to his bedroom to pick it up. Holding it close to his face, he discovered that it was indeed yours. It was your favorite necklace – an amulet you'd inherited from your mother. You'd always refused to give any kind of back story to the jewel, other than that it was your mother's most prized possession. No one knew who your parents were, since you never talked much about them. You didn't remember much about them, yourself.

He fidgeted with the necklace, wondering how you could have dropped it without noticing. You kept it on your person at all times, often clutching or rubbing it out of habit. He considered returning it to you with a sigh – it was three a.m., so you'd most likely be asleep, and your room was on an entirely different floor.

He finally made it to his own room and threw his stuff inside, exhaustion building as he sat down on the edge of his bed and lost all will to get back up again. He set the amulet on the bedside table as he laid his head on his pillow, falling asleep instantly.

Clint awoke the next morning feeling… lighter than before. As though he suddenly weighed less, and his weight distributed itself differently. He yawned, stretching his arms out to his sides. He clenched his fists in the stretch before pausing – had his nails always been that long? And why did his fingers feel thinner than before?

He sat up and looked around, groaning as he realized that he'd have to crawl out of bed to peek at his reflection. His only mirror was in the bathroom attached to his room. He looked down at his lap, eyes widening as he looked at his legs which were mostly uncovered by the blanket. He still wore his mission outfit from the night before, having been too tired to change clothes. But his pants were definitely better fitting the night before. He reached down, pulling on the baggy fabric of his pant leg. He shrieked in surprise as he discovered that his fingers were indeed thinner than he recalled. And he had some lovely long fingernails growing from his fingertips.

He held his arm out in front of him, noting the thin yet muscly build from his wrist to his shoulder. That led his gaze to his chest and his equally baggy t-shirt. Hesitating, he moved his rather feminine hands to the sides of his shirt, pulling back until the cloth was tight against his chest. He nearly screamed at the newest development – his upper chest had grown significantly, and two balloon shapes were now attached beneath his shirt. He stood abruptly, rushing into his bathroom and shedding his clothes. He looked down at his bare form, noting his curves and dips, his long, thin legs and delicate feet. Well, couldn't really call them his, now, could he? He? She? He'd have to work on that.

He wandered back into his room to find clothes for the day, and thought that perhaps he should interrogate Loki and see if he had anything to do with Clint's current predicament.

While rummaging around for clothes, he noted your necklace still sitting on his bedside table. After changing, he quickly grabbed the necklace and stuffed it into his pocket before leaving his room.

A soft knock on your door woke you from your dreamless sleep, and you took a moment to yawn and stretch before calling out, "Who is it?"

"Clint," a feminine voice replied. Confused, you crawled out of bed and towards the door, opening it just enough to see the person on the other side. She certainly reminded you of Clint, wearing the same clothes and having slightly longer hair of the same color.

"I'm sorry, who?" you questioned.

The girl sighed. "It's me, Clint. I don't know what happened but I woke up… like this."

You studied her for a moment before deciding that, someway, somehow, she was Clint Barton. Or was it Clair, now?

With a giggle, you stepped aside and opened the door fully, letting Clint in. "Why are you coming to me?"

"I thought it might have been Loki's doing," Clint replied, sitting on the end of your bed. "I was going to interrogate him, but I figured I should bring you with me. He responds better when you're there."

Unsure of how to take that news, you shrugged. "Sure, just let me get dressed."

You rummaged through your dresser, producing a (f/c) tank top and black yoga pants. You slipped into the adjoining bathroom and closed the door, changing quickly and running a brush through your (h/l) (h/c) hair. You emerged a few months later and slipped on your boots before opening the door. "Let's go."

The two of you headed to the floor that Loki stayed on and headed to his room, knocking on the door. A grunt came from the other side, which you took as Loki's way of telling you to come in.

You opened the door slowly. "Loki?"

A tall, thin woman with long black hair and vibrant green eyes sat on Loki's bed, reading a book that you didn't recognize. He didn't seem the least bit phased by his apparent gender swap.

"You too?" Clint questioned.

Loki looked up and snorted. "So Barton has been affected as well. I wonder if anyone else got caught in the spell."

"Spell!" the archer cried. "So it was you!"

Loki shook his – her? – head. "I'm afraid not, though I'm flattered by the assumption. If it were to have been my spell, I would not be so incompetent as to cast it upon myself as well. Truth be told, I know not how we came to be in this predicament."

"Maybe we should check on the others," you suggested, "see if anyone else has been affected."

Clint nodded, following you away from Loki's room and to the closest Avenger. Thor.

"Thor?" you called, knocking on the door.

"Lady (y/n)?" a deep but still feminine voice replied.

"May we come in?" you requested.

"Of course."

You opened the door, peering in. Thor had been transformed as well. He had more muscles than Loki had, even as a woman. He was thin but fit, with toned arms and legs and a flat stomach.

"Brother Barton!" Thor exclaimed. "You are now a maiden as well?"

Clint cringed. "Yeah, Thor. Loki, too. Do you know what happened?"

Thor shook his/her head. "I do not. Perhaps Brother Stark has some knowledge?"

"I suppose he or Bruce would be the ones to ask if it wasn't Loki," you reasoned. Clint nodded.

"Would you like to join us, Thor?" you offered.

Thor thought for a moment before nodding. "I'd love to." He stood up, dressed in a tight tank top and loose pajama pants, and left the room to follow you two to Tony's lab.

"Go away," Tony's voice called once you'd knocked on the door. You stifled a giggle – guess Tony wasn't as accepting of this mishap as the Asgardians had been.

"Come on, Tony," Clint sighed. There was a pause on the other side of the door, presumably Tony noting the feminine tone to the archer's voice and considering opening the door.

Which he did.

The door opened to reveal a tall and thin billionaire, with a tiny waist and D-size breasts. Of course Tony would look like a Barbie doll.

"It happened to you too?" he questioned softly, opening the door more to show his attire – a slightly baggy AC/DC T-shirt, which would completely cover a woman's breasts were they smaller than Tony's, and flannel pajama pants, which had been tied as tight as the strings would allow.

Clint and Thor nodded behind you. You shrugged. "We have no idea what happened. We were hoping you did."

Tony glared. "I bet it was Loki. He probably cast some spell on all of us to turn us into chicks and-"

You cut him off. "We checked him first. He's a chick, too."

The billionaire stopped. "What about Banner?"

"Haven't seen him yet," you replied, "but if you got hit, then I assume he did too."

"He's at his place right now," Tony recalled. "Let's call him."

You nodded and held your hand out expectantly. The billionaire passed over his phone, allowing you to dial the doctor's number. You held the phone to your ear as you awaited an answer.

A masculine voice answered, "Hello?"

You wondered if only the Tower residents were affected. "Bruce?"

"(y/n)?"

"Yep," you replied. "Are you alright?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Something happened to everyone in the Tower," you explained. "We were wondering if it hit you too."

"What happened?" he inquired. "Are you sick?"

"Uhm, no… Everyone here has somehow been turned into a woman."

"Is it Loki?"

You sighed. "No, it wasn't Loki. Everyone needs to stop automatically blaming Loki."

"Sorry," he replied sheepishly. "What happened, then?"

"No idea."

"Get me as much information as you can. I'll be there in an hour."

You hung up and passed the phone back to Tony before turning to Clint. "Did anything specific happen before you turned into a girl?"

"Don't think so," the archer replied. "I just woke up this way. Oh!" He seemed to remember something and shoved his hand into his pants pocket, producing your amulet. "I found this on the floor when I came in last night."

You took it from his hands, wondering how it could have ended up on Clint's floor when your own room was three floors above his. "I wonder what happened to it…"

"Is it magical?" Tony inquired.

You shook your head. "I don't think so."

"Should we check?" Clint wondered. "I'm sure Loki or Banner could tell us if it has magical properties."

"Could it have caused all of this?" you wondered.

"Many such magical items exist," Thor nodded. "Did your mother ever say anything about it?"

"Not that I remember," you replied.

"We shall ask my brother," Thor stated. "Er, sister…"

You giggled as you, Clint, Thor, and Tony made your way back to Loki's room.

"Loki!" you called, banging on the door. The tall and thin woman opened said door, raising a brow.

"Yes?"

You held out your mother's amulet. "Can you tell us if this is magical?"

Loki took the necklace and examined it. "It's powerful," he nodded. "Why do you ask?"

You gestured to the three men-turned-women standing behind you. "Could it have caused this?"

Loki tapped his chin in thought. "It's possible." He looked back at the amulet. "It's definitely got some kind of power in it."

Bruce eventually joined the party, and he, Loki, and Tony tested the amulet as much as they could. Without any better explanation, they all agreed that the sudden gender swap was caused by your necklace. Having come to that conclusion, you all wondered how they were supposed to revert back to being men.

No one had any ideas. Loki tried spells, but his powers were limited as he was on a sort of probation period, so nothing happened. You had no idea how your amulet caused the gender swap in the first place, so you certainly didn't know how to fix it.

After much grumbling (though Thor and Loki weren't horribly bothered, and you and Bruce were rather amused) from the guys, they agreed that they'd have to just wait it out.

Natasha was away on a mission and Pepper had loads of paperwork to do to keep the rest of New York from having Tony's head, so that left you as the only female for the Avengers to look to for guidance. Only Thor and Loki seemed to accept their new bodies – you wondered if they'd been turned into women before. You'd read bits and pieces of mythology involving those two, and you vaguely recalled a story of Lady Loki.

Poor Steve hadn't been informed of the situation when the rest of you were trying to solve it, so he awoke that morning in a total panic and couldn't find any of you to help him. He refused to talk to anyone but you, and he walked around in the most concealing clothes he owned while a blush permanently stained his cheeks.

You made your way into the kitchen the next morning, your mind set on coffee and breakfast. Thor, Loki, and Clint were lounging in the living room adjacent to the kitchen. Thor was munching on Poptarts while Loki read an unknown book and Clint grumbled about having breasts. You laughed to yourself as you doctored up a cup of coffee and moved into the living room to join the guys.

Tony and Steve soon joined you. Tony was proudly wearing a too-tight tank top and yoga pants, which you assumed were Pepper's but were too disturbed to inquire about, while Steve wore a baggy T-shirt and pajama pants.

"How can you be enjoying this so much?" Steve inquired beneath a blush, looking at Tony.

The billionaire shrugged. "I have boobs now."

You nearly snorted your coffee at his response, which also earned a smirk from Clint.

"Lady (y/n)," Thor began, "if we are to remain in these forms for an indeterminate amount of time, I do imagine we'll require more appropriate dressing options."

"Do you want me to take you bra shopping, Thor?" you asked with a grin. Steve blushed more, Tony seemed thoughtful, and Clint grimaced.

"That sounds most helpful," Thor beamed. You laughed outright before standing.

"My car will hold everyone. Let me grab my keys and we'll head to the store," you told the group. You began walking to the elevator to get ready when you called out, "Meet me in the lobby, guys!"

You insisted on driving your Ford Expedition to take the guys shopping. You'd also gotten Tony agree to lend you a gold card to pay for the goodies.

You led the boys inside, giggling as Clint and Steve tried to hide their conditions. Bruce had opted for going with you, just to enjoy watching the others suffer.

"Alright," you began, leading the boys to the "Intimates" section, "we need to figure out what sized you guys are."

"Large," Thor responded, looking down at his chest. You stole a quick glance and nodded.

"You're definitely a D," you agreed. "Find a style you like and then look for a D."

You sorted the other boys into letter sized and sent them off. You laughed as they each had their particular styles. Tony seemed to pick bras similar to those that his previous girlfriends left behind, such as pink and black lace. Thor opted for cutesy prints, such as flowers and polka-dots. Loki went for simple, solid colors (black and green, of course). Clint raised a brow as he looked through the bras, though whether he was checking them out for his own use or for his future girlfriend, you couldn't be sure. (1) Poor Steve was crossing his arms over his chest, blushing madly.

You wondered if you'd have to help the poor soldier pick out a bra.

An hour and a half later and you'd supplied each of the gender-bended Avengers with bras, panties, and other women's clothing. Steve insisted that he was fine wearing his own clothes, though they'd be much baggier on him now. Tony and Thor, expectedly, had no opposition to going through the women's section.

Back at the Tower, each of the guys was getting dressed, or attempting to, while you and Bruce prepared dinner. As you were boiling water in the teapot, a very topless Tony entered the kitchen. You and Bruce both shielded your eyes as he proudly stood in the entrance of the kitchen.

"What do you need Tony?" Bruce inquired, stirring something on the stove.

"And where's your shirt?" you added.

"We're all having a bit of trouble getting the bras on," Tony admitted. "Turns out we're much better at taking them off."

You shook your head to destroy that mental image as you walked over to the topless billionaire. "Hand me the bra. I'll show you."

He handed you his black lace number, causing you to shake your head. You held it up in front of you as though putting it on. "The straps go over your shoulders," you explained, "and the skillful part is clasping it behind your back. Some women put the bra on backwards, clasp it in the front, and then slide it around."

Tony took the bra back and set the straps over his shoulders as you instructed, reaching behind his back to attempt to close the clasps.

"It's a learned skill," you noted, snickering at his lack of success. Tony returned to his room, presumably to share your insight with the others.

"How long do you think it'll last?" Bruce inquired with a smirk.

"I have no idea," you mused. "It's entertaining to watch, though."

The lot of you opted for a movie night, hoping to take your minds off of the boys' predicament. You picked Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire from the movie collection, setting it in the DVD tray before grabbing the necessary remotes.

You sat on the couch, sandwiched between Tony and Clint. Thor and Loki claimed the other couch, while Bruce and Steve each took over the recliners. You wiggled happily as the movie began excited to watch your childhood favorite again. You leaned on Clint as the movie progressed, your unknown exhaustion making an appearance. You eventually fell unconscious, leaning against an equally unconscious Clint.

You awoke sometime later, after the DVD player had shut itself off and the TV was casting a soft blue glow about the room. Everyone else had fallen asleep in their respective seats as well. You looked up at the man beside you to discover that he was indeed a man again. You stifled a giggle at the realization that he was still in his lady clothes, the bra beneath his tank top offering awkward shapes against his chest.

He soon awoke, blinking repeatedly as he looked around the room. He found you awake before looking down at himself, sighing in relief.

"I'm a dude again," he smirked, causing you to let out a soft giggle.

"I guess it didn't last very long," you noted.

"Thanks for your help," he whispered, wrapping his arm around you. You ignored the blush rising to your cheeks.

"You're welcome."

He took a breath and hesitated before speaking again. "I suppose now's a good a time as any."

You tilted your head in confusion, waiting for him to continue.

"I'm in love with you, (y/n)," he whispered, his icy blue eyes boring into your own (e/c) orbs. "I have been for a long time."

"Why didn't you say?" you inquired.

"Didn't think it would make a difference."

You tilted your head up and pressed your lips to his. "It does."

He grinned against your lips. "How about we get out of here?"

You nodded and stood, grabbing his hand and dragging him behind you. He peeled off the tank top and unclasped the bra as you led him to your room, leaving the articles of clothing on the floor behind him.

You opened the door and moved to sit on your bed, gesturing for him to join you once he closed the door. He did so quickly, lying beside you with his arm beneath your head as a pillow. You rested one hand on his cheek, pulling him in for another kiss. He responded immediately, his free hand resting on your waist. He nipped your lower lip, causing you to gasp and him to deepen the kiss.

You pulled away for a breath, smiling up at him. "Are we a couple now?"

He grinned, pecking your lips again. "Definitely."

(1) I wrote that sentence completely forgetting that this was a Clint story xD