Chapter Thirty-seven – Wake Up

I awake to white. Bright like when the sun reflects off the snow. My eyeballs try to roll back into my head. That happens in my dreams sometimes. I'm trying to see what's going on, but I can't even stay conscious in my own mind.

Things begin to focus. Ceiling tiles. White. Bright, industrial lights. I feel stiff cloth beneath me and over me. Except for my right leg. My right leg feels nothing.

I force my eyes to open wider, to blink away the blur. I turn my head a little and something much darker than the ceiling and the lights comes into view, leaning over me. A person. Not a doctor, or a nurse; they're not wearing white or scrubs. Yet still the features won't focus. My head is pounding.

And then a voice I would know anywhere, a voice that calls me back to reality. Taylor. "Callie?" he says. His voice is warm, a little shaky, hopeful. I can hear the smile in it. "Hey, Cal."

The blur finally dissipates and Taylor becomes clear. There's a smattering of stubble on his chin, as he obviously hasn't bothered to shave for a day or two. Is that because of me? How long have I been out?

I move to sit up but for some reason my right leg doesn't move with me. Confused, I finally look towards the end of the bed, only to see my right leg in plaster, sticking out of the covers. I'm wearing a cast. I've broken my leg.

"What?" I mumble, just staring at it. What the hell have I done?

Taylor laughs, his face still split into a grin. I look at him and I can't help but laugh a little too. "Seriously, Tay, what have I done?"

His smile falters, and so does mine. His brow furrows and he asks softly, "You don't remember?"

I shake my head, but that turns out to be a bad idea as spots spring to life in my vision. Taylor interlaces his fingers with mine, his warm hand squeezing. "Take it easy, Cal," he murmurs.

I close my eyes for a minute, allow the spots to clear. I feel like someone has taken a sledgehammer to my head as well as my leg. My heart is starting to pump harder.

When I open my eyes again they meet Taylor's. His gaze is full of worry, his brown eyes, usually so happy and warm, now dampened a little with concern. "Callie..." he begins. He pauses and shuffles his chair a bit closer, holding my hand between both of his. "You got... you got hit by a car."

My eyes widen; I can't help it. "I what?"

Taylor meets my gaze again as if it pains him to speak. "I don't know exactly what happened; I wasn't there. I was in the house and I didn't know you were outside until everyone heard this kind of... thump. The whole house just went quiet and I heard someone shout your name and that was it, I was already rushing for the door. When I got outside you were... you were on the floor and Josh was crouched beside you and he was yelling at me and your leg was twisted all the wrong way..."

He bites his lip, seemingly staring at nothing. I lean forward, ignoring the aches and pains in my body, and plant a kiss on Taylor's forehead. As I pull back he looks up at me, and I smile at him. His frown smooths out a little, but not entirely.

"It's fine, Tay, I remember," I tell him. "I'm okay now, that's all that matters." And it's true, I do remember and I am okay; I'm not dead, after all. I remember following Josh to his car, and in the heat of the moment I forgot all about checking for oncoming traffic. A stupid mistake, but a mistake that could have cost me my life. But like I said, it doesn't matter now; I'm alive.

Then, suddenly, it's my turn to frown. "Taylor," I begin, "you said you didn't know exactly what happened. Didn't Josh tell you?"

Taylor's expression hardens. "I asked him at the time, he just said he didn't know. I didn't bother pushing him because making sure you were alright was my priority. When the ambulance came he left."

I feel my face contort. "What a knobhead!" I spit out before I can stop myself. As soon as I say it a part of me feels as thought it wants to take those words back. It's not like Josh left me as soon as it happened, but still he didn't bother explaining anything to Taylor, obviously too busy with saving his own skin as per usual, hence why he then ran off when the ambulance turned up.

I shake my head, trying to clear the anger, and this time the spots don't dance. Being pissed off with Josh won't help anything, as I've learnt before. I sigh. "Nevermind," I mutter, mostly to myself.

Taylor's grip tightens on my hand. "What was he even doing there?"

I laugh then, I really can't help it, but it's bitter and amused all at once. "He was there," I say, a smile playing with my lips, "because he was pissed off that he wasn't invited to the engagement party."

Taylor's eyes widen a bit, but I can't quite read his expression. "Really?"

"Yep," I say. Yet something is tugging at me. I feel like I'm being a bit unfair. "I don't think that was the only reason though," I add.

"Why?" Taylor asks. "Did he say something else?"

I try and think. I'm sure he did. I replay the memory, trying to go over what Josh said, but all the words get tangled up and I don't know if what I'm remembering is even true or the product of my imagination. And then it comes to me, a flash of words, sharp. Everyone hates me and that's never gonna change... this isn't your war.

I sigh, and it's heavier this time. "Josh is adamant that everyone hates him. He still sees this whole thing as some kind of war. I suppose before he felt like it was just you three against him and Zac, yet I don't think that's how he feels any more. I think he sees it as like the world against him or something ridiculous like that."

It may be ridiculous, yet I can't help but feel sorry for him.

"But that's stupid," Taylor says, shaking his head.

"I know, but that's how he feels. I think that's why he didn't stay when the ambulance came; he didn't want to get questioned and yelled at by you and everyone else at the party."

Taylor shakes his head again, more fiercely this time. It's not often that I see Taylor getting worked up, but when he does I don't like it; it doesn't feel like my Taylor. "That's selfish and cowardly," he says. "At that moment in time you were more important. You could have died, Callie, and yeah he called for me but he didn't do much else. Once I was there he backed off. I didn't see him again till I realised his car was driving away."

I sigh and shrug. I feel worn out, like I've been climbing mountains for days. "I don't know, Tay. I don't really want to think about it any more. We'll deal with Josh when he wants to talk."

"If he wants to talk," Taylor adds.

I glare at him, warning him to give it a rest now. His features soften and he leans closer, pressing his lips to mine. "Sorry, Cal."

I roll my eyes at him and he manages a smile. "Don't be. Now, when am I getting discharged?"

Taylor's smile stretches into a grin. He reaches behind him and holds up a pair of crutches, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

I laugh. "You do realise you'll be carrying me everywhere, don't you?"

He puts the crutches down and bows, answering in his most deferential tone of voice, "Of course, m'lady."

My grin is so wide it feels as though it'll stretch off the edges of my face. "Good."