Chapter 36 (The Confession)
Jonathan and Alexandra went downstairs to the lobby and said good-bye to Mrs. Smith before stepping out of the hotel.
The hotel was located directly next to the beach promenade. Now in October it was a bit cool already and the water was too cold to swim but in summer, Cuesta Verde would be a nice place to pass vacation. Probably many families would come here with their children as well as groups of young peolpe to celebrate their graduation with beach parties. Now the place was ideal for people wanting to spend a couple of peaceful days, going on long walks over the beach and enjoying good fish - and seafood dishes in one of the restaurants at the promenade.
Whatever Jonathan has in mind now, he made a good choice to come here.´ Alexandra thought when they left the promenade and walked over to a big place.
The place was circular, being paved with small, grey cobble-stone pavement, the benches made of dark wood invited to take a rest and the beach promenade was just a few steps away. A big burly oak-tree was standing right in the middle of the place and her leaves were carrying the red-golden colors of autumn.
"Does this place look somehow familiar to you?" Jonathan asked softly, stopped in front of the oak and pressed Alexandra´s hand.
She gazed around and frowned. Indeed, now as Jonathan mentioned it, this place was familiar to her, indeed the entire area of Cuesta Verde was familiar to her, but she also could be wrong and confound it with one of the places she had known on one of her trips.
"I .. I´m not sure.." Alexandra finally said. "Somehow this all is looking so familiar to me and doesn´t at the same time.. I really don´t have any idea."
"We have been here once already." Jonathan explained and smiled lightly. "We have been here with biology class, doing a research project. This was on a day in October, to be more precise, it was today about 13 years ago."
Alexandra frowned again. She had seen Jonathan 12 years ago for the last time in Germany, this was in July, then their night in the cabin, this was in spring. October? This was in October one year before. And what day was today? 18th of October. 18th of October? Jonathan was right. It was 13 years ago. And then this strange number of the hotel room. 1-018... 18th of October? Was it just co-incidence?
"Yes, I remember..." Alexandra finally said and slowly but surely, her memories of that time came up to the surface again. "You´re right, we have been here before.. but.. the place looks so different now."
"Yes, it does." Jonathan responded. "Before, it was possible to drive over here with buses and cars. Now the whole place is closed for the traffic and got paved with these cobble-stone pavement... but the old oak was here before and the promenade looks a bit different as well, but you can still get to the beach like before."
Jonathan let go of Alexandra´s hand and placed it softly on the trunk.
"Maybe you don´t remember anymore.." Jonathan finally started and gazed into Alexandra´s eyes. "But we have been standing here with the class after getting out of the bus and someone made a stupid comment about us..."
"Oh yes, I remember." Alexandra said and frowned again. "This girl.. what was her name again?... something with E.. was it Elaine?"
"Elizabeth... Elizabeth Perkins." Jonathan answered.
"Oh yes, right!" Alexandra shouted and her face brightened. "She made a comment about you and I was angry about it."
Jonathan smiled lightly.
"That´s right. You touched my hand, then looked at Elizabeth and then you said: Shut up, you stupid cow!´ And or biology teacher Mrs. Donovan has admonished you then."
"Oh yes." Alexandra puffed and rolled her eyes. "Now I remember again. She was our headmistress, too and I had to detain for 2 days because of doing my comment. She didn´t care it has been Elizabeth starting all this with her stupid comment."
"That´s right." Jonathan answered and smiled lightly again. "Mrs. Donovan has admonished you and then you´ve said:Why do you admonish me, Elizabeth has started with this?´ and then Mrs. Donovan said: Miss Wentzler, you will come to my office tomorrow, you will detain the next two days.´"
Alexandra scowled. She hadn´t thought of this incidence for years and now she was realizing how alive these memories still were inside her - and above all, how alive these memories still were inside Jonathan. Though she was wondering what this all had to do with their conversation in the hotel room and she wasn´t sure where this all would go.
Alexandra swallowed.
"Some of the class started giggling and making stupid comments as well until Mrs. Donovan got loud and admonished us all but you just looked at me and you didn´t let go of my hand all the time, not even when you were argueing with Mrs. Donovan." Jonathan said softly, took Alexandra´s hand again and gazed firmly into her eyes. "This was the moment I fell in love with you, Alex."
For a split second, Alexandra couldn´t move and she could feel her knees giving way.
"Oh.. Jon." she finally whispered in a trembling voice.
She hadn´t expected all this at all and she could feel how much it touched her heart to hear all this from him. She had forgotten so many things, she had pushed so many things away from her life and now she felt as if Jonathan had watched over these memories for so many years. Memories which shall never be forgotten ever again.
Alexandra had never realized how significant this afternoon had been for Jonathan, how much it had influenced his feelings. It always had been natural for Alexandra to defend herself and Jonathan.
She didn´t remember when exactly she had fallen in love with Jonathan. Maybe this had been a sneaking process or maybe she had been in love with him right from the first time she had seen him. She didn´t know it anymore, but at one day she just knew she loved him. And she knew as well, she had been in love with him for a longer time already, before they became a couple.
"Come on, I want to show you something." Jonathan said in a low voice and before Alexandra could say anything, he did a few steps around the oak and Alexandra followed him.
"Do you see this?" he asked softly and pointed with the fingers of his other hand on the trunk.
Alexandra approached and took a look at the oak. The outline of a heart was scratched on the trunk and in its middle the letters "A+J." The heart and the letters were heavily weather-beaten but though everything was still recognizable.
"Jonathan, what..?" Alexandra started, but she didn´t come further.
His piercing blue eyes gazed at her again.
"Do you remember when we drove back to Gotham that afternoon?" Jonathan asked softly. "Here we got into the bus again and just in the moment, we were already on the main street over there, almost leaving the center when I shouted that I´d forgotten something and I´d have to return to the place again."
Alexandra looked at Jonathan.
"Yes..." she said. "Yes, I remember. It had started to rain heavily when we left and everybody was sour and cursing. Mrs. Donovan has stopped the bus and let you get out to run back to the place."
"That´s right" Jonathan responded in a soft voice. "You wanted to join and help me, but Mrs. Donovan didn´t allow you, so I had to run back to the place alone."
"Yes.. and I observed you from the window but it was raising so much I couldn´t see anything." Alexandra said. "And then you got sick and you were laying in bed at home for a week."
"I got a pneumonia, that´s right." Jonathan answered and smiled lightly. "But this didn´t stop you to come over every afternoon to bring me the homework and to tell me everything that happened at school."
Alexandra nodded and smiled, too.
But suddenly Jonathan´s smile disappeared and he took a deep breath.
"But the truth is.. I haven´t lost anything that afternoon. The truth is, I wanted to come back to make this here." he responded and his fingers touched the outline of the heart on the trunk. "I had a small jack-knife once and I also had it with me that afternoon. I always thought that scratching hearts into trees is something absurd and trivial, but that afternoon everything was different.. and I wanted everbody to know what do I feel for you, Alex."
Alexandra didn´t know what to say. She could feel her knees giving way again.
"And since then, I always came back, Alex. Every year, always at the same time, always the same day, always to the same hotel, always to the same room. To remember everything over and over again. To keep my memories on you alive and not to lose my mind." Jonathan said softly and gazed into Alexandra´s eyes. There was a time I believed I would´t do anymore and for a time I wished I would never have met you – but it´s a fact that I never stopped loving you in all these years... and I never will.. and that´s the reason why I never would come to Cuesta Verde with another woman but you.."
Alexandra could feel tears filling her eyes. She felt guilty now because of thinking so bad of Jonathan – that he would come here with her to have a love adventure, to have his fun and break her heart although Alexandra knew, he wasn´t that kind of man. That he still loved her so much, even after all he had done to her – she didn´t expected this at all and she wasn´t able to express, was she was feeling in this moment.
"Jonathan...", she whispered but she didn´t come further as the tears didn´t allow her to speak.
"I love you, Alex." Jonathan said in a soft voice and took her face into his hands.
Alexandra couldn´t hold back her tears anymore and her hands clung to his coat when Jonathan pressed her head softly against his chest, rocking her lightly.