Author's Note: Hi everyone, here's another chapter. Songs for this chapter are: "City of Delusion" by Muse, "Show You Love" by Jars of Clay and "'Spose my Toes were Roses" by Tom Paxton. I know that a lot of people are reading, and I really appreciate it; how about dropping me a note and telling me what you think of the story? Please? Thanks, Mutt
Chapter 36:
Bits and Pieces
Sirius POV:
The past week had been arduous, watching my Anwen weave her way through both her grief and her professional duties was both awe inspiring and painful. She had sung at Amelia's Memorial service, and my memories of her singing had flooded back to me. I realized it was one of the most glorious things that I had ever heard. When we got home, I made her spend several hours helping me sort out the memories that I had gotten back. Anwen also had to help with the rapid finding of another candidate for Minister, as well as help with the legal precedence of having Kingsley serve as the Bones family advisor until Susan was of age. She wasn't happy about the new Minister, they apparently had a history, and it wasn't a pleasant one, but she was beyond caring too much, Amelia's death had shaken her. She agreed to remain as the legal counsel for the new Head of Magical Law Enforcement, but she confided in me that it was only temporary. She had lost her zeal to work for the Ministry now. And twice this week, while trying to solve these legal dilemmas, she had fallen asleep over the books in the Potter family library, sitting in the chair. I had gotten her and carried her upstairs and put her into bed. After everything that she had done, it was nice to be able to care for her, even if it was in a small way.
It was mid-morning, and she was still sleeping. She didn't need to wake up today, her parents had taken the children out to the farm to spend time with them, giving Anwen a chance to relax and take care of herself. I had never appreciated my mother-in-law's generous spirit more than I did right now.
I marveled at the beauty of Anwen lying there. I had racked my brain, but no matter how hard I tried, there were still gaping holes in my memories of my wife. I had regained enough memories of our children now, that I could at least decipher what they wanted or needed when I was around them, but for the life of me, I couldn't put the whole puzzle of my relationship with Anwen together. The Healers had told me that it was alright to have her fill in the blanks, even tell me stories, as long as she thought that I could handle them. We had spent the days since talking about our life together. It had made me feel like she really was my partner and my love.
My fingers trailed down her face, across her shoulder and down her back, and I reveled in the feeling of her soft flesh beneath my hand. Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled at me. I could also feel her overpowering love. That takes a lot to get used to, feeling what she does, but man, it makes the sex unbelievable. I smiled remembering the activities of the previous night.
"Good morning, love. How are you today?" I asked her, my hand caressing her waist. She smiled up at me, and looked up, as if she was trying to think of something.
"Languid," she told me, still smiling.
"Did I have anything to do with that?" I asked her and she curled one side of her smile up higher than the other.
"Most definitely," she replied, pushing herself up so that her lips met mine. I really will never get used to kissing her. "So what are your plans for today?"
"I don't have any, per se. I would like to see if there are other spells that I remember how to cast, and I would love to hear more stories." I want to remember it all, I needed to. I wanted to be the husband that this creature deserved.
"Sounds like a wonderful way to spend the day," she purred, stretching her lithe body next to mine. How horrid would it be just to spend all day in bed with her? We've been married for 10 years, together for 6 years before that and all I can think about is being in bed with her – that's sick man. She's the mother of our children, she's a mom, but she's so hot. "Knut for your thoughts."
"Um," I stammered when I realized she was talking to me. "I was actually thinking about how beautiful you are, how much I would like to spend all day in bed with you. You are very, very sexy." She looked away from me, and I watched as the blush bloomed across her face, down her neck and across her shoulders while a nervous giggle escaped her. "What?"
"All of this, having to relive all if it, it's kind of nice, it's like I get to fall in love with my husband all over again. "
"Good, because I have fallen deeply in love with you," I told her and she seemed to melt. I held her to me and kissed her deeply. Our lips parted and she nestled down next to me, lying on her stomach, her arm draped over me. "So, tell me about our first kiss," I asked.
"We already talked about this, it was at the Yule Ball," she told me, rather plainly.
"No, tell me about our first real kiss, I told you, the kiss at the Yule Ball was just something that I did because its what I did with girls. I hadn't figured out you weren't just any girl yet. I remember it, it was, nice," it was pleasant enough, but no wand sparks. Not like when I kissed her now. "I want you to tell me about the first passionate kiss, Anwen."
"Alright. It was Easter weekend of my sixth year. I had come home on Thursday, and told you that I wanted to be an Auror, and you had thrown a fit," she told me. I looked at her confused.
"Wait, I want to hear about our kissing, not our fighting."
"I know, but you need the whole story, so hush up so I can tell you," she said with a glint in her eyes. "So anyway, you threw a fit, claiming that you needed to protect me and take me away, and you nearly forbid me to become an Auror, which was pretty funny, because you had no right to tell me to do anything. I stormed off and went up to be alone in my room. I woke up the next morning and you were sitting on my floor, watching me sleep. There was something in your face, and I knew that everything between us had changed," she looked away, and her face got soft, as did her voice. "Lily had insisted on throwing me a silly sixteenth birthday party two nights later, and I didn't know it at the time, but you and James had arranged to have my family there. Lily dressed me up in this ridiculously beautiful dress that had me barely covered, and had done my hair all up and I looked completely, different," she stopped to breathe. "I remember talking with Lily, telling her how scared I was, that you couldn't possibly feel about me the way I had been feeling about you, but she kept telling me that it would be okay. I came downstairs and I couldn't find you, and I was afraid that you were mad at me, and that you weren't there; but then I saw you, and I nearly forgot to breathe. You were so handsome," she told me, looking at me, running her fingers across my face. "We went in to dinner, and the whole night, every time that I would look at you, my heart would race and I got all sweaty, and it finally got so bad that I had to run away, from my own party." She rolled her eyes, looking like she was somehow frustrated with her younger self. "I was upstairs, crying like a leaky faucet. I felt so silly. Lily gave me a pep talk and sent me back downstairs. I paused at the door, and listened to the music. The little ensemble that they had hired was playing one of my favorite Adagios and then I came back to the table, and you put your arm around me, and I felt like I would simply melt away into nothing. I opened my gifts, and you gave me a beautiful cloak, that I didn't find out until later, was charmed out the wazoo to protect me. You always wanted to make sure that I was safe, even then," she looked at me again and kissed me.
"After supper, there was dancing, and you waited patiently, let everyone else dance with me, and then it was your turn. The music was a string version of 'I Can't Help Falling In Love' and you spun me around on the floor, and held me close to you." She looked away again, her face getting dreamy and lost. "Then you told me that you loved me. It wasn't a friendly love or even a familial love, it was passionate love; the kind between a man and a woman. I thought that I would faint from the words, your hold on me, the feel of your breath against my face and the touch of your hand on my back. I pondered for a minute what to do, and then I told you that I loved you too, and you leaned down and kissed me. It was glorious and I felt like I would fly away. We continued to dance, and everyone else left, and we just kept dancing, even once the musicians were gone and the lights were off. When I finally couldn't stand any more, you lifted me up and carried me to the lounge and you nestled me against you, between your legs and threw your jacket over me. I needed to touch you, needed to be near you." She finally looked back at me and I was in awe. Her memories were so vivid, it was almost like reliving them with her. "It was also the first time that I was French Kissed, that night, and I have to say, that was quite memorable as well," she said with her wonderful crooked smile.
"Well, I think you should show me how that went," I told her, and she was more than willing to comply.
Later that morning, we were sitting at the table in the kitchen, eating what one could only classify as brunch given the late hour. Neither of us had actually vacated the bed until around eleven, when the growling of my stomach became unbearable, and very noisy. A snippet of a memory – me shaking off as Padfoot in the mud room off the kitchen – came to me.
"Do I like to run around in my Animagus form?" I asked Anwen and Lily. They both looked at me, and laughed heartily.
"Sirius, love, you adore your Animagus form. We actually had a dog for a while, and you and Molly would run around the yard together. Confused the heck out of our old Muggle neighbor," Anwen said.
"Mrs. Couch, right?" She nodded at me, and I was happy that I had remembered something new all on my own.
"Do you remember how Harry would take the 'dogs' out, and the whole house would stink for days?" Lily added. Blackie, the Potter family dog, who was resting on a mat by the back door, raised his head at the word, dog, but then put it back down again.
"To call you enthusiastic would be an understatement. Once James is here, maybe you can see if you remember the spell. He has practice getting you out of it when you're stuck, I don't, and I wouldn't trust myself," Anwen said with a smirk. I was about to ask her why, when there was a flash, and then a phoenix was perched on the chair across the table from Anwen, staring at her.
Anwen was concentrating on the bird, and then nodded at it. "Lily, I have to go," she said plainly.
"Go, we're fine here. Let me know if you need anything or anyone," Lily responded, her face very serious. I was completely confused. Is that Dumbledore's phoenix? Why would it be here for Anwen and can she talk with that bird? Was it a common occurrence for it to just show up here?
"I'll be back as soon as I can," she said, leaning over to kiss me quickly. Anwen then got up, walked around the table, grabbed the tail feathers of the phoenix and in another flash of fire, she was gone.
"What was that?" I asked, still in shock and awe.
"Albus must have needed her immediately, that's his phoenix, and he's only sent it for her twice before, and both times, there was deep trouble. Sirius, I don't doubt that you are confused, but I can't even begin to think about where to start on this with you. We'll need to see what happens when she gets back. Now, James had said that you two were reviewing charms, to make sure that you knew how to do them. Where did you leave off? I'm not as good at them as him, but I did get my NEWT," she said to me kindly, and clearly, I wasn't to ask questions about what just happened. I wish that everyone would stop walking on eggshells around me, and just be honest with me.
Anwen POV:
As soon as the disorientation from flashing had cleared from my mind, I could tell that there was something terribly wrong with Albus. He was half sitting, half lying on the settee in his office. Both James and Snape were hovering over him, and his magical signature was fluctuating wildly, with pulses of dark magic trying to disrupt it. As I got closer, I could see the source of the problem, his arm was withered and blackened by a curse that I could see quite easily. The signature on it was completely black.
"What the hell happened?" I asked, coming to kneel at his side. "Who did this to you?"
"He accidentally did it to himself," Snape said, with clear disgust in his voice.
"He couldn't have, the magic on the curse isn't his," I told him and he rolled his eyes at me.
"Of course not you simple minded girl. He put on the cursed item, hence giving himself the curse. It was cast by someone else. Even your dim-witted friend here, or maybe your husband could have figured that out. Well, he could have before, now I understand that he doesn't even know who you are," he sneered at me and I took a deep breath, preparing myself to speak.
"Don't talk to her that way you slimy git. You did your binding, and you admitted that you couldn't do more, I suggest that you be leaving," James said, standing up, looking like he would hit him. I looked at my friend and put a hand on his shoulder.
"James, don't. He isn't worth the effort, and don't forget, I can fight my own battles," I reminded him. "Now, someone, please tell me what's going on here."
"Anwen, I had gone to retrieve an item, a ring, and when I did I made the mistake of putting it on. The curse overtook this section of my arm before I could get it off. I got back here, and Severus was able to contain it. I summoned James, but he has been unable to break the curse. I was hoping that perhaps you would have the ability to do so," he said to me, looking somehow small and defeated. I thought about it for a moment, and then nodded. I knew that my magic still wasn't at full strength, nor was my mind as disciplined as I would have liked it, but there wasn't much I could do about it right now. I reached my hand out, and let it hover over his mangled arm.
I could feel the magic starting to respond to me, but then it would pull back and re-attach itself to Albus. After several tries, I gave up. "I can't remove it. I'm sorry, it's just too strong," I told him, and he sighed.
"I didn't actually think that you would be able to, but I had hoped. Can you tell if the curse is at least contained?" Albus asked me, looking somewhat resigned to his state.
"Mostly, although it's doing the most...interesting thing," I told him, looking at his arm, moving my head around, sort of puzzled by it. I hadn't ever seen a curse working like this. "Every once in a while, a very, very small bit of the curse seems to be able to break off, and stream away from your arm, into the rest of your body. It's almost as if it's attached itself to your blood and is using the bloodstream as a conduit to infect the rest of your body. It's very, very slow, and for right now, your magic is strong enough to combat it, but the longer it goes on, the harder it will be for your body to fight it. Eventually, I think, the amount of curse in your body will become toxic. You will only be able to fight it off for so long, before it overpowers you. I'm sorry," I told him quietly. I wouldn't want to wish this on anyone, especially not someone that I do truly hold affection for, and whom I consider part of my family. It was much like the way that a cancerous tumor would grow in a Muggle, except that we can't cut out the affected part. "Perhaps, some of the treatments that Remus and Lily use for the Werewolf infected children might help? And Ewan is here, he might have ideas, but I know that the curse is not fully trapped, nor can it be removed" I told him.
"I don't understand what you're saying about the bloodstream, it isn't a blood poison," Snape said, and it was my turn to roll my eyes at him.
"No, it isn't a blood poison, but it's using the bloodstream as a delivery system." He and Albus were looking at me like I was speaking a foreign language. I looked at James and sighed and then looked back. "Didn't either of you bother to study human physiology?" They continued to look at me dumbfounded. "This is what's lacking in a traditional magical education," I told James, referencing our long discussions about how to repair the education that most magical children came to Hogwarts with. I looked back at the other two wizards.
"Look, I discovered something in the last few years, about how magic travels through the body," I told them, and Snape looked disinterested, while Albus was suddenly intrigued.
"How did you make this discovery, Anwen? This isn't something that one usually studies, no one has been able to determine how," he asked, and I blushed, knowing the answer that I was going to give.
"It was while I was breast feeding my children of all times," I said, suddenly feeling embarrassed that I was talking about such things with Albus, and grossed out that I was talking about them at all with Snape. "Magic flows from the center of the body, and pulses along through it, loops back from the extremities and back to the center. I watched my children's magic strengthen as they fed, which made sense, and since they were so small, and generally not that magically developed. I could see the individual streams of magic. They travel just like blood in the body. I think that magic flows along in the body, circulating the same way. I can't see it in older children or adults, but I suspect that it's because there is just too much of it, and individual streams can't be seen," I told them, and both James and Albus were very interested, so I continued. "This curse is doing the same thing. It's sending small bursts of itself out along the magic in your body. It's using your magical strength to weaken you. We can work to reinforce the containment of the curse, but we aren't going to make it go away, and I doubt that we will permanently halt its progression. I believe that eventually, the curse will spread, and more of the tissue will die," I added somberly. How had I just gotten involved with diagnosing Albus' medical condition? There are healers to do that – I don't need to be involved in this, not now, not with everything else. I chastised myself for bringing yet another drama into my life.
We all sat there in silence. I wasn't sure what the plan was going to be, but I had basically just confirmed to my mentor that he was dying. I avoided making eye contact with any of the men, hoping that my job here was done.
"Severus, that will be all. We will discuss this at greater length another time," Albus said, trying to dismiss the Potions Master.
"Sir, while Mr. Potter is here," he spat at James, "we should discuss his son's behavior during our last Occlumency lesson." This wasn't the time or the place, but since he brought it up, I decided that I would discuss it, happily.
"You won't be continuing them. I don't know what the hell you did, but his mind was a mess. Believe me, by the time he gets back to school, he will know how to close his mind off," I promised them. Severus was angry.
"How dare you. You have no idea what happened..." he started.
"Yes, we do. We watched the whole thing. You should be ashamed of yourself. Your teaching methods are barbaric and cruel, and if you teach Potions the same way, it's a wonder that anyone makes a NEWT in your class. Now, I think you should be going. You know full well that I am more than capable of knocking you on your scrawny ass should you not choose to comply." I could feel my blood boiling. With that he grabbed the edge of his cloak, and swept out of the room. I rolled my eyes at him. "Drama Queen," I muttered under my breath, and both James and Albus laughed at me. "Are you going to tell me what you were after?" I asked Albus.
"Anwen, you know that I have no intention of discussing this with you," I looked at James and he nodded in agreement. He needs to know that we already know all about it. He found the ring, huh. I wonder if he found any of the others, or if he even knows all about them.
"You found something else that houses a bit of old Voldy's soul, didn't you? It's a bit, just like the one that's embedded itself in Harry," I told him bluntly. He looked at me in shock. "I figured it out after my second trip in, it took a while, reviewing the pictures that I had taken, but I did figure it out, and I told the rest of the family. We think that there are three others remaining, plus the diary, which Harry already destroyed. A cup, a crown and a necklace. We still don't know about the magic that created them, but I have an idea." He had challenged me to figure it out, and with the help of the rest of the family, we had. He looked from me, to James, and back again.
"I think that he might have turned the snake into one as well, but that's the one that I am least sure of. There is still a small amount of his soul remaining in Tom as well," Albus told us. I nodded in understanding. "I found the ring, and before I had even thought about it, I was putting it on," he looked away, looking disgusted at himself. "They're called Horcruxes, and they are very old, very dark magic," he explained.
"I had a sneaking suspicion," I confided to him. "I found a book about them in Grimmauld, when we were first moving in. When I started reading it, and realized that it gave directions for making such a thing, I removed it from the bookshelves, and put it away in the family vault. It remained there until I encountered that thing in Harry's mind last year. I went to the bank, retrieved it and finished reading it, and came to understand that even if it wasn't a Horcrux, it was something similar," I told him quietly.
"How did you figure all of them out so quickly?" He was intrigued, and the color was beginning to come back to his face.
"On my second trip in, I conjured a camera, and took pictures of the space, dozens of them, then I sent the camera to my desk. When I was finished, I developed and studied them. Unconventional I know, but I needed something tangible to study. The other, Horcruxes, seemed to float in and out of relationship with the one in Harry's mind, but they were clearly connected. Have you figured out how to destroy them?" I asked.
"I did, but, it destroyed the ring too," he told me, pointing over toward his desk, where the ring with a broken stone sat. "I am concerned about the one that's in Harry," he said quietly, looking off into the distance. "I believe that if he were to allow himself to be...taken down...that the self sacrifice would kill the Horcrux, but I'm not sure what it would do to..." I couldn't believe what he was saying, especially in front of James. What kind of an idiot thinks that letting a kid have himself served up as a lamb for the slaughter makes sense?
"No!" James roared, "there has to be another way!"
"I don't see how..." Albus started, but I cut him off.
"You're wrong, there is another way, I'm sure of it, I need to keep just trying to work all the magics out. James, look at me," and Harry's father slowly turned to comply. "I will not let Harry be killed without a fight. You have to believe me. His life means everything, and I believe I know what we need to do," I told him and then I let my mouth break into a small smile. "I've learned a great many things about life and death and love in the last few weeks," I told him, and his face relaxed.
"I should think that you have," he told me, coming over and hugging me. He and Remus had most definitely taken a more protective stance around me recently, and I didn't mind at all.
"Now Albus, we need to know what it is that you want to do, and then we are going to figure out how we are all going to work together on it. If we don't agree with you, we will pull Harry from school, and teach and train him ourselves. You made some horrible choices in the last year, and none of us want to see a repeat," James told him sternly, and the Headmaster looked at us, and then bade us to sit down and talk.
James POV:
Anwen and I were quiet as we walked away from the castle. It had been a rather heated discussion, and it was obvious that this wasn't the first time that Anwen and Albus had argued about Harry, in fact, it would appear that the strain in their relationship had been caused by their inability to see eye to eye on what Harry should and should not be told.
"Anwen, why didn't you tell me things were so bad between the two of you? You shouldn't have had to sacrifice your relationship with Albus over my son." I felt guilty about what had happened.
"James, this isn't only about Harry. Albus and I have been having issues for years. It goes back to when he had Sirius intimidating people for information, during the first war. There were other things too, things he tried to keep from me about how my magic works, and what...what it can do to me. Perenelle told me the truth, and it made him livid," she said quietly. "I was in awe of him as a teacher, loved him as a father figure and mentor, but I couldn't quite get close enough to call him a friend, and now, I choose not to try so hard," she told me, and I was surprised at her candor. " I don't always agree with how he manipulates people, and things, for his own needs," she said quietly, and I was sure that there was more, but given everything she had been through, I didn't want to push. We crossed through the gates, and we were off of school property.
"Are you ready to go home?" I asked her, but she shook her head at me.
"James, if you need to get back, I understand, but I need to clear my head a while longer. There will be more questions to be answered and more stories I need to tell..." she said, stopping and looking at me. "Look, I go back this, irritated, I won't be able to control myself as I need to around Sirius. He keeps looking for information and some I want to give him, but I just can't figure out how," she sighed, and put her palms to her head, massaging her temples. "I know that I should be more patient with him, but..." she trailed off.
"Come on, let's get something to eat and you and I can talk about how I can help you with Sirius," I told her, putting my hand on her back, steering her towards the Three Broomsticks. Rosie greeted us at the door, and I shamelessly flirted with her, and she flirted right back. Anwen just smiled and shook her head. We ordered some soup and I got a butterbeer, while Anwen ordered a glass of wine. She seemed to relax as we ate and drank.
"So, what does Sirius want you to explain to him that you're not sure how to?" I asked, she sighed and breathed out slowly.
"He keeps asking why we don't have the home in Greece anymore. He only has a few memories of it, and they're all pretty wonderful ones, but I'm afraid of talking with him about it, to be honest. It isn't just what happened there, it's...I have to explain the whole thing. How awful my life had become just before his...indiscretion," she stopped and watched her finger slide around the rim of her wine glass, tracing the circumference with the tip of her finger. "Did you know that I had written a letter, and left it with Remus, in case I didn't come back from that last trip to Greece. It was a goodbye to you and Lil and a resignation from the Ministry. I was nearly ready to chuck my life and stay there with him. I was so desperately unhappy," she told me quietly, tears clearly forming on the edges of her eyes. Even remembering it makes her look broken.
"Would it be easier if I told him? I can leave out about what you were doing at work, and just explain what happened, as best as I understand it. It should be enough for him," I asked her, she nodded at me, and then was very quiet again. "You know, you don't have to be so strong all of the time. No one would think less of you, if you had to take a little while and just spend some time alone each day."
"I can't do that to him James. He's still so scared of what he doesn't remember, and I know that he's worried about never being able to remember. He starts panicking when I'm not there. I can feel the relief in him when I return to him. But, sometimes...it just feels like I'm taking care of another child. I know I shouldn't feel that way, it's just so hard. There's a lot I don't want to remember, but he needs me to," she said no louder than a whisper. I reached over and put my hand over hers. The contact seemed to break down what few reserves she had left, and she just covered her face with her other hand. I didn't say anything, I was hoping that I didn't need to. After a moment, Anwen got hold of her emotions, and slid her hand out from under mine.
"I think we should be heading back there, I just want to make a quick stop at Honeydukes, and then we should go home," she said, throwing some money down on the table to cover the bill. She's sneakier than her husband about paying. I never would have thought to ask her to pay for lunch.
"James, I need your help with something else," she said as we walked out of the pub. "I need to convince my parents to head back to Canada, or at least to leave Great Britain. I can't be worried about them with everything else, and as much as I love my sister, she isn't the best dueler; I don't think that she could protect them all." We crossed the street and headed back toward the confectioner.
"How about if we book them on a world cruise or a Continental tour? Give them a real holiday, since they've taken the time away from their inn?" I suggested, and she smiled at the idea. "Remus and I will explain that you need time with your children to help Sirius remember them. We'll be gentle, and I think that we can get them to agree. I fully understand your need to protect them. Would you like me to check the wards on the farm as well?"
"Yes, that would be wonderful. I worry about Eira out there. At least Charlie is with her most of the time," she said, smiling. We went into the small shop, and she bought quite a bit of chocolates. "Hey, when you're feeling down, chocolate is the best balm there is. Lately, I have been feeling a little down," she said no louder than a whisper.
Sirius POV:
After what felt like forever, Anwen and James came back home, together. I hadn't realized that they were off at the same place. She came in holding a bag from Honeydukes, and was wearing a big smile.
"I picked up some of our favorites, and other things that have meaning for us. I figured you could try some of them later, and see what memories they stir up for you," she said, coming over and showing me the bag. I leaned down and kissed her. Why do her lips taste like salt? I hope she hasn't been crying again.
"That sounds like a plan. Guess what Lily helped me remember?" I asked her and she shrugged her shoulders. I got out my wand and performed the Patronus Charm, still pleased when the large Griffin bounded forth and looked at her. When it evaporated, I pulled her close to me. "Would that be why you have that wonderful tattoo here?" I asked her, my hand slipping beneath her blouse to touch the small of her back where the winged Griffin tattoo was. I was delighted as she blushed again.
"Partly," she admitted. "But it also has to do with this. Fire yours again, dear," she asked, and as I did, I watched as she lifted a hand, and a smaller Griffin materialized next to mine. He lovingly stroked her with his beak and she laid her head on his wing before they both dematerialized.
"We share a patronus form?" I asked her, surprised.
"It's not uncommon for married couples to do so. Lily's changed to match James' when they were engaged," she told me and I looked over to see Lily and James, arm in arm, nodding at us. "Ours just happened to both completely change form after the mystical Binding ceremony," she told me and I looked at her puzzled. She took a deep breath. "Sirius, we were married with the three part, mystical ceremony. We've talked about this some, and we can talk more, but only once you've gotten back a few more memories. If I start just telling you all of it, you'll end up overwhelmed by it," she told me and I nodded at her. We had indeed discussed this, but I was anxious to know about it.
"Does it have anything to do with Greece, and why you're avoiding telling me about it?" I asked and she inhaled sharply and looked away. What the hell happened in Greece? Was it really that bad?
"Sirius, it does, and I think that perhaps you and I should sit down and talk," James said to me, and Anwen wasn't looking at me yet. I put my hand under her chin, and lifted her face so that she would look at me. The pain in her eyes was excruciating.
"It's so bad that you can't even talk to me about it?" I asked her, and the idea that I had hurt her this badly, I couldn't believe it.
"Sirius, it will just be easier if I'm not the one who does it. We'll talk after James fills you in, okay?" she said, trying to fight back tears. "I'm going out to the farm to see the kids, why don't you come out when you're ready? There's a little inn in town that we love, and we could go down and have a nice family dinner out, how does that sound?" I nodded at her, and she stood on her tiptoes and kissed me gently, and then left the room with Lily. I turned and looked at my best friend.
"What the hell did I do to her?"
Remus POV:
I had been working in my lab, when I heard her voice, and needed to come out and see what in the world was going on. As I walked out, I saw them on the lawn. Anwen and Eira were sitting beneath a tree, and all six of the little children were sitting around them with Lily and her Ma. Anwen and Eira were singing some sort of a crazy kids song, with silly motions and such. 'What if my lips were on my hips, what a mess I would be in?' Who writes this stuff? They were all singing and laughing and dancing around, and the happiness of the moment was delightful. They finished singing, and she waved at me, getting up from the group, carrying little Jamie on her hip. The toddler was very attached to her mother, and Anwen's absences had been hard on her. I had heard her crying for her Mummy the previous night, while the kids stayed overnight with their grandparents.
"Hey there, Jamie, can you give Uncle Remus a hug and a kiss hello, I bet he's missed you," Anwen said to her littlest daughter, and she reached over and put her little hands around my neck and then left a very wet kiss on my cheek.
"I'd better not tell your Auntie Tonks, or she might get jealous that such a pretty girl is kissing me," I teased, and the toddler hid her head behind her mothers hair. "You look happy," I told Anwen, and she smiled at me.
"My children always make me happy, no matter what else might be going on in the world," she told me, completely honestly. "We need to have a family meeting tonight. James and I had quite a discussion with Dumbledore today."
"Which house and at what time?"
"Manor, at about 9:00. Lil and I need to get the kids to bed first. We're going to go into town, to eat at The Darlin Daffodil, do you want to go with us?" she asked me. Dinner out with Anwen, Sirius and four kids, could be interesting.
"Sure, I guess. Where is he anyway?" Anwen paused, and her face got serious.
"He and James are discussing Greece. I couldn't do it. He's been asking questions, but I just couldn't do that to him. He doesn't know that he broke my heart and nearly shattered me then. I couldn't tell him now," she said, sounding as if she was apologizing for not wanting to hurt her husband. I put an arm around her.
"It'll be fine. Actually, I have something I want to talk with you about. Remember when we were in your vault last year, and you said that there was stuff in there that you thought should go to Tonks?" I asked her, feeling just a bit foolish.
"Yes, she should have some of the family heirlooms. So should her mother. Why do you want to get something for her?" she asked sounding excited, and shifting Jamie to the other side of her body.
"Well, I was wondering if there were any...um...suitable rings...to..uh...give her...when I..." Anwen smile got huge and she was bouncing up and down on her feet.
"You are going to finally propose! Yeah, yeah, yeah!" she said, dancing around in a little circle. Jamie was clapping her hands as well, because her mother was so happy.
"Anwen, keep it down, I don't want everyone to know before I can ask Tonks," I reprimanded her and she stopped.
"Tomorrow, tomorrow we are going to the vault, and if you promise not to flip out, I'll take you into the heirloom room and you can go through the cases of jewelry and find the perfect ring. And if its not there, we can take any stone that you want and we'll get it set just the way you like it. I'll make sure that it's not cursed too, because that would suck for an engagement ring," she finally stopped to breathe and she threw her one free arm around me to hug me.
"What made you finally decided to do this?" She asked when she pulled away from me. I looked at her, and thought for a moment about how to explain this to her.
"What you did for Sirius. How certain you were that he needed you, and that you would be alright. I don't know that I would do what you did, but I know that if I don't even tell her how I feel, how I needed her to be near me, forever, then I certainly wouldn't." She smiled gently at me.
"Hard to believe that you would ever take a cue from Sirius how to conduct a relationship with a woman," she said back, smiling that knowing smile of hers. I groaned at the realization that I indeed did want to have that same type of relationship. Anwen and I made plans for the following morning, and we went back to the lawn with the rest of the family. A while later, James and Sirius came through the house into the yard. Padfoot's face was set on Anwen. She stood and he came and lifted her up and held her tightly to him, staring deeply into her eyes. The duo were staring at each other, their breath ragged, a conversation being carried on through their emotional bond. He then started walking toward the house, still carrying her. When they were inside, I heard Lily sigh.
"Maybe we should go to dinner without them?" James said, apparently a little confused and uncertain about what had just happened.
"Probably, dear, probably," Lily said smiling, patting his arm.