I, Too, Shall Follow—Chapter Thirty-Eight
Severus cracked open one eye and let out a startled yelp as his heart shot into his mouth and he leaped upright. His reaction frightened Tina, who jumped off his bed with a piercing squeal. Panting slightly, his heart rate beginning to slow, he irritably addressed the girl.
"What were you doing sitting on my bed watching me?"
"Mum said not to wake you cuz you're working so hard and need to sleep," Justina answered, coming forward once more to perch on the bed beside him.
Not satisfied with the response, he frowned at her. "So why'd you wake me?"
"I didn't mean to," the girl mumbled, staring down at her hands.
He heaved a disgruntled sigh. There was no point in trying to go back to sleep, though he flopped down on the pillow nonetheless. His sister didn't move. Now that he was fully awake and thinking clearly, her presence gave him pause; she was affectionate, yes, but not clingy. What was she doing here? "Tina, what's wrong?"
"Mum won't go to her appointment at St. Mungo's."
Severus sat up again. "What do you mean?"
"She's supposed to go every Wednesday and Saturday, only a lot of times when you're not here she misses the Wednesday ones, and now she says she's too tired," the girl explained, tears welling in her eyes. They spilled over to trail down her cheeks, and she began to weep in earnest.
"Come here." She scooted over to him and he pulled her closer with one arm around her. "I'll go talk to mum, don't worry."
In a high pitched voice teetering on hysteria, Tina cried, "I don't want her to die like dad!" A new rush of tears followed.
"I know." Now both arms enclosed her shaking figure. Silently he berated his mother for not doing what she ought to. Didn't she realize her children needed her? At the same time, he felt guilty for his anger. Mum was sick a good deal of the time, it was hard for her to find the energy for the simplest tasks. He felt like an ogre for being upset with her. "Let me go talk to her, I'll make her go."
He got up, peeled the child's arms from around his waist, and pulled on his pants and shirt. Justina followed at his heels. He found his mother lying on the couch.
"Mum, are you alright?"
Eileen looked up at him and attempted a smile. "Just tired, son."
"You need to go to your doctor's appointment. I'll take you if you want." He knelt down beside her, the same surge of emotion and fear that had gripped his sister washing over him.
"I don't want to, Severus. It makes me so ill, and the nausea potion doesn't help anymore."
"I'll find a new one," promised Severus, wriggling a hand underneath her back to sit her up. "I'll go with you. Come on."
Too weak to resist, Eileen let him pull her up to her feet. He led her to the fireplace and took some floo powder in his hand. To the girl who stared anxiously after them he said, "Once mum is in therapy, I'll come home, then when she's finished I'll go get her."
Justina nodded her understanding. Momentarily the two were gone, leaving the child alone. She ran to the window hoping to catch sight of Julius, who'd gone out hours ago, but the street was empty. She crouched on a chair, knees drawn up to her chest, to wait.
Half an hour later, Severus arrived back through the floo network; Tina was still huddled on the chair, but she hopped up immediately.
"Where's Julius?" he asked, glancing around.
Tina shrugged. "He went out to play a couple hours ago."
"Not with those ruffians on the next block?' Severus queried in alarm.
"Prob'ly. He doesn't mind anymore cuz dad's not here to make him," she said rather matter-of-factly. "When you were at school he played with them all the time."
Severus swore softly, shaking his head, his face an unreadable mask. Their father had forbidden the children to hang around with certain undesirables in the area, and while his violent method of enforcing his orders had been effective, the command had evidently fallen by the wayside now that he was gone. He didn't want to discipline his brother, but if he didn't, who would? Mum wasn't able…he wished the whole lot of trouble would simply go away. With dad dead, mum sick, work to attend to, and now this, Severus was on the verge of an emotional implosion. He'd never had to be the rock, the one the family depended on; he'd never realized how overwhelming it could feel.
"Stay here, I'll go find him," he told his sister. "Lock the door."
After he went out, he waited for the sound of the bolt sliding into place before he removed his wand, set it on his flattened palm, and said, "Find Julius." The wand spun around to aim in the direction of the nearby schoolyard; he pocketed it as he strode along purposefully. It wasn't far, already he heard the shouts and laughter carrying on the air.
There he was, shaggy and disheveled, sitting on the lowest rung of the monkey bars with two boys who looked to be a good three years older standing in front of him, and he had a cigarette dangling from his mouth. There appeared to be no one else on the playground. Cramming his ire down to manageable levels, Severus marched toward him, his black eyes beacons of fury. Julius noticed him only when Severus roughly thrust aside one of his companions, snatched the cigarette from his lips, and crushed it under his heel.
Julius tried to flee but his brother gripped his bicep in a firm grasp. "Let me go!"
"Let him go," said one of the punks, a boy with thin blond hair.
The other, the one Severus had pushed, added insolently, "Or else."
Obviously the kid had no concept of good sense or timing. Severus whirled on him, his words dripping venom. "Or else what?" Other than the malice shooting from his eyes, his face remained completely blank, frightening in its lack of expression.
When the boy merely gaped at him, Severus turned back to his brother and shook him harshly. "You go home right now, Julius. This isn't over." Wide-eyed and quaking, Julius took off at a sprint. Severus then addressed the two remaining boys, unwilling to waste unnecessary time or speech on them. "You're a bad influence. Stay away from my brother—and my sister."
"What're you gonna do if we don't?" sneered the blond.
"Funny you should ask," Severus replied in a deadpan voice, his own wicked sneer creeping across his face. Before either one knew what was happening, Severus glanced around quickly, ascertaining they were alone, grabbed each boy by the shoulder, and Disapparated. They reappeared on the bank of the river, precariously close to dropping in. One hard shove sent both boys toppling head first into the filthy, stagnant water.
They tossed and flailed pathetically trying to stay afloat, screaming with fear and indignation, sputtering and splashing with eyes closed against the foulness of the water.
"Try standing up, morons," Severus shouted from his spot on the bank, arms crossed, looking almost amused. If he weren't so angry, he would've enjoyed this a whole lot more.
The boys got their feet under them, to discover they were only in waist-deep water. Dragging the mucky water from their eyes with their fingers, they waded for the bank, carefully giving Severus wide berth, then pulled themselves out and stood dripping and shivering.
"How did you do that?" the blond exclaimed, terrified. "How did we get here?"
"You walked, of course. You decided to go for a swim," smirked Snape. "Nobody will believe you if you tell strange tales, they'll call you liars." Here his voice hardened. "This was nothing. You don't want to find out what I'm capable of. Now you'll stay away from my family, won't you?"
Both lads nearly dislocated their necks from nodding so vigorously. Once more Severus made sure no one was around, then he disappeared before the boys' eyes.
He Apparated in a dark corner of the garden and used his wand to unlock the back door. "Julius, get in here!"
Tina's head popped up over the back of the couch, watching warily as Julius slinked in from their room, head down, shoulders hunched. He stopped and peered up at his brother, lips quivering, chest heaving as if he were about to cry.
"What would dad do, Julius?" Severus questioned unnecessarily. They both knew.
"Whip me," his brother squeaked.
"That's what I should do," said Severus, causing the lad to practically convulse with panic. "But I'll give you one more chance. If I find out you're smoking or hanging out with those kids or getting in any trouble at all, I'll do it. I don't want to, but I will. Is that understood?"
"Yes," Julius murmured. He stood there looking so forlorn it was all Severus could do to be strong, not to be the one to break. Then suddenly Julius pitched himself at Severus, wrapping his arms around his waist. "I'm sorry. Don't be mad, don't hate me."
"I don't hate you, dunderhead," said Severus quietly, patting his back. He didn't like threatening his brother, especially since one day he might be forced to carry out his threat. Being a parent figure truly sucked!
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Lucius was on time for his very first official meeting of the Board of Governors…at least the very first one not involving possibly kicking him off the Board. Technically, he was early, half an hour early in spite of having spent the entire morning researching every member of the Board, their families, and blood status. Thankfully, while several were halfbloods, there wasn't a Muggleborn among them.
He positioned himself at the head of the table facing the door in order to monitor who came in, and as each member arrived he greeted them warmly by name. When the man who'd formerly occupied this particular chair came in, he stared as all the others had done, then scowled.
"I believe that's my seat, Mr. Malfoy."
Projecting an air of absolute innocence, Lucius raised an eyebrow. "I wasn't aware we had assigned seating, Mr. Whiner." He didn't budge.
The man gritted his teeth as he moved over to Malfoy's empty chair. "It's Wenner," he snapped.
"Hmm. My mistake."
The meeting was called to order by Lorraine Newcastle promptly at two o'clock. "First order of business: collecting funds for Hogwarts for another year. Albus Dumbledore said there's very little left over, so we need to get all the pledges we can."
Lucius knew all about the pledge drives. Ever since he was old enough to understand, he'd heard his father talk about that blasted worst-thing-ever-to-happen-to-Hogwarts Dumbledore and the preposterous changes he'd made at the school, beginning with permitting mudbloods to attend. Moreover, he'd broadened the old 'scholarship' policy to include all students; now, regardless of ability to pay or intellect that might win a scholarship, all students received free tuition, room, and board. To top it off, funds were available for destitute families to help purchase books, robes, and assorted necessary supplies. As such, the governors had become agents for drumming up donations in the community, starting with Abraxas Malfoy.
"On behalf of the Malfoy family, I'd like to contribute twenty thousand galleons." Everyone stopped to look at Lucius, flabbergasted and delighted at once. "Of course, I'd like to stipulate that the money be used only for purebloods. Oh, and halfbloods, I suppose." The expressions of his companions changed to downright uncomfortable.
"You can't do that!" exclaimed Wenner.
Lorraine, being the chairperson, took it upon herself to enlighten the new member. "Mr. Malfoy, I'm not sure that's…proper. Dumbledore would have a fit."
"It's my money, isn't it?" Lucius rationalized, flashing her a smile. "Shouldn't I be allowed to determine where it goes?"
"It's just that he stresses equality among the students."
Lucius stared blankly at her. "Well, that's just asinine. I'd hardly consider a mudblood equal to a pureblood." He paused, recalling his days at Hogwarts. Dumbledore didn't seem overly concerned with 'equality' when it came to how teachers—himself included—treated Slytherin students. Judging by the old man's actions, one might conclude he cared only for Gryffindor, not quite qualifying as 'fair' or 'equal'. "Regardless of whether our illustrious Headmaster disagrees, we are the governors. We determine how to manage the budget, and if that means earmarking funds for a particular group, we are authorized to do so. Am I correct?"
"Well, yes, when you word it that way," Lorraine conceded. Twenty thousand galleons was no small amount, and there were plenty of halfbloods who could benefit as well as purebloods.
"It doesn't seem right, though," Mary said quietly. Gentle murmurings around the table tended to agree with her.
Kidus Chapman winked at Lucius, then smiled at his group of peers. "What harm can come of it? There are a lot of poor folk of every stripe, and if Malfoy wants to help some of the needy purebloods and halfbloods, why should we complain? We'll be collecting sufficient donations from businesses and rich folk to take care of the Muggleborns as well. No one is going to suffer."
"It's the principle of the thing," insisted Wenner.
Lucius cleared his throat. "Perhaps it would be best if I withdraw my offer. I dislike causing discord among us."
Lorraine stood up. Donations like this didn't come along every day—or year—and she'd be damned if she'd let it go without a fight. "People, let's be practical. Mr. Malfoy has the right to designate how his donation is utilized, even if some feel it's, er, bigoted—not that I'd make such an accusation, Mr. Malfoy," she hurried to add. "To be fair, we'll vote on whether or not to accept the money under his conditions. Show of hands—how many wish to accept it?"
Seven hands went up.
"He can't vote!" protested Wenner, gesturing at Lucius, whose hand was in the air, a victorious smugness curling his lips.
"He is a governor, Mr. Wenner," Lorraine reminded him. "That's settled, seven to five. Thank you very much, Mr. Malfoy, for your more than generous donation."
"It's my pleasure," Lucius replied smoothly. "You know, I had an idea of how we might effectively organize to canvass the community in collecting pledges…"
"Oh, Lord," mumbled Wenner, rolling his eyes.
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Severus picked up the bit of parchment lying on his dresser, unrolled it, and read:
You are cordially invited to the wedding of
Udo Nott
and
Fidelia Zabini
to be held at the Nott family Manor on
the 15th of August, 1978, at 12 noon.
He stopped reading to snicker once more at the name. Udo. No wonder he insisted on being called Nott! He'd received the invitation a month ago and promptly forgotten about it with all the things he was juggling. Even time with Glenna had been cut back because of work, then the nights he'd spent inventing a stronger potion for nausea for his mother. Today was the fifteenth, how had time gotten away from him so quickly?
By the time he'd finished dressing in his only good robes, the clock had snaked its way to eleven-thirty. He took his leave of the family, then Apparated over to Glenna's house where she stood waiting for him on the porch, tapping one foot impatiently.
"I was starting to wonder if you were coming," Glenna said with an injured air.
"Why wouldn't I come?" he asked, stepping over to kiss her.
"You made it pretty clear you don't like weddings," she replied, tossing her head.
Oh, not again! "We need to go, Glenna. Hold my hand." Moments later they Apparated to the Nott Manor. He'd been here on several occasions over the last year, yet each time he was surprised how large and elegant the house was. Not compared to Malfoy Manor, of course, but more grandiose than Nott's casual demeanor would suggest. An elf led them through the house out into the spacious back garden where rows of chairs lined a center aisle under an enormous canopy enchanted to blend in with the sky. The smell of fresh roses permeated the place. Nott was pacing about nervously, stopping now and again to speak with guests milling around.
"Hey, Sev, glad you could make it! Hi, Glenna." He pumped their hands.
Severus, used as he was to Nott's inability to say his full name, gave a little smirk. "I wouldn't miss it, Udo." His friend winced. "Might I inquire why you decided to marry? I didn't know you even had a girlfriend."
"I didn't," Nott confessed. "My parents set it up about six months ago, and after dad passed on… well, I have to go through with it. I can't let them down."
"Do you even know Fidelia?" asked Glenna, twisting and peering around in hopes of catching a glimpse of the bride, who evidently remained hidden in the house.
"Oh, yeah, we grew up together. I knew her from the time we were about six, but then she went off to Beauxbatons when I went to Hogwarts. She spent the last couple summers in France, too, so I haven't seen her for close to three years." He chewed his lip apprehensively, then shrugged, the corner of his mouth twitching upward. "At least she's refined."
"One of you ought to be," Severus remarked dryly.
Nott excused himself to greet other guests, so the couple seated themselves to wait. From the corner of his eye Severus peeked at Glenna. He hadn't really wanted to escort her here, what with her hinting at the idea of marriage every so often, but he didn't have a choice. She'd received an invitation, too, he couldn't very well come without her. Anyway, they were here…
It wasn't long before everyone took their places and the ceremony began. Fidelia Zabini presented an absolutely ravishing figure in her snowy, billowing gown, her dark brown hair pulled up to show off her long neck and high cheekbones. She glided down the aisle on the arm of her father, every bit the cultured young lady Nott had proclaimed her to be. Judging from his dumbstruck countenance, he hadn't expected such a stunning bride, and judging from the leer that followed, he was definitely looking forward to the wedding night.
After the exchange of vows and requisite congratulations of the couple, everyone headed inside for the reception. Glenna, her eyes shining, looked up at Severus. "Wasn't that beautiful?"
"Um, yeah, I guess," he hedged. Where's Nott when I need him to get Glenna off my back? There, across the room, the young man in question was snuggling up to his bride as she giggled.
"They seem very happy," Glenna observed.
"He should be, he finally gets to have sex," Severus answered without thinking.
Glenna turned on him fiercely. "Is that the only reason you're with me?"
"Don't be ridiculous. Of course not."
"Lovely ceremony, huh?" said Mulciber, barging up to stand beside them, draping an arm over each of them, a glass of what appeared to be firewhiskey in his hand. It spilled over the rim, ran down his hand, and dripped onto Severus' robes. "I got here just as it began." He looked over meaningfully at Glenna as he added, "I love weddings. A time for joyful beginnings."
"That's enough, Mulciber," Severus growled.
"What?" exclaimed the other, feigning surprise.
Severus ducked out from under his arm and deliberately heaved the other arm off of Glenna.
"Look-ee here, a school reunion!" crowed Regulus, trotting over to join the group. He held a glass of punch that sloshed onto the floor as he ran. He paused to gulp the remainder of it, smacked his lips, and sighed. "Good stuff! What do they put in here?"
"Probably liquor," grinned Mulciber, who swilled his in one shot. "Gotta get more."
Severus looked from his soon-to-be-inebriated schoolmates to his girlfriend. "Would you like something to drink?"
"No, thank you. I think I'll go home, I'm not feeling well."
As she turned to go, Severus caught her arm. "Glenna, did I do something?"
She shook her head, afraid to answer lest she burst into tears on the spot. He wouldn't understand, he was a stupid MAN, one who didn't understand anything relating to emotions! She brushed his hand off and left him standing there as she walked away, not noticing Regulus sidling up to him to chat. By the time she'd made it outside, she felt another hand taking hold of hers.
"Severus, I want to go—" she barked before turning to see Mulciber, who immediately dropped her hand.
"Why are you leaving?" he asked. "The party's only started."
She shrugged and brushed at a tear straggling down her cheek. "Severus made it quite plain he doesn't want to be here, or anywhere that might remind me of wedded bliss, yet when I say I'm going he doesn't even try to stop me or come with me."
"Maybe he didn't think you'd really go."
"Then he doesn't know me very well, does he?" She sucked in a ragged breath, which helped to calm her a bit. "I'll see you, Jack."
Severus glanced out the veranda doors, away from Regulus babbling on about some nonsense, in time to see Glenna Disapparating and Mulciber staring stupidly at the spot where she'd been standing. A gleam of jealousy shot through him; he stormed out to confront the young man, only to find himself fixed with an undeniably caustic glower.
"Snape, you're such an arsehole!" Mulciber shoved past him and went in to where Regulus had collared Nott with an arm slung around his neck and was chattering blithely away.
In an instant Severus Apparated to Glenna's home; she hadn't yet gone inside. Instead she sat on the top stair leaning her back against the porch, eyes closed. He approached softly.
"Glenna," he said quietly. She opened her eyes but made no move to answer him. "I saw you leave."
"I'm surprised you noticed, even in light of the fact that I said I was leaving."
"Are you angry about something?"
She shrugged and looked away. "More disappointed. And hurt."
He came down on one knee beside her. "Why?"
"You as good as said you didn't want to marry me when we were in school. I thought you'd change your mind, only today you acted like it was torture to even think of being with me! How am I supposed to feel knowing you don't love me?" she uttered, turning her body away, trying to hide the tears starting in her eyes anew.
He took her gently by the shoulders to spin her around to face him. "I care very much for you."
"That's not enough."
"We should wait till we're ready," Severus murmured.
With a surprising amount of spite that she managed to gather in her fragile state, Glenna retorted, "What you mean is we should wait to see if that mudblood Evans changes her mind and comes running to you!"
Shocked, Severus drew back, pushing down reflexive anger. "Don't call her that, and no, that's not what I meant."
"What do you see in her? It's like she holds a spell over you. She treats you like crap, yet I wish you looked at me the way you look at her!" She dropped her face into her hands, breaking into weeping.
Unable to lie to her, unfamiliar with the subtleties of tact, and completely clueless on how to handle a crying woman, he said, "Just because I care for her doesn't negate my feelings for you."
Glenna lashed out, striking him in the chest with a balled fist. "I won't be part of your harem, and I don't want leftover love! I deserve better than going through my life in Lily's shadow!"
"Glenna, you're blowing this out of proportion," he said, trying to be reasonable.
She was not in the mood to be reasonable. She stood up and moved onto the porch, her words spoken with a bitterness she'd never directed his way before. "You're happy enough to take what I offer, but if she snapped her fingers you'd come running. You've never even told me you love me!" She whirled to go into the house.
"Lily, wait!"
Time froze. In that single moment, Severus relived his entire relationship with Glenna, realizing with a terrible squeezing sensation in his heart that he'd botched it, blown it as badly as it was possible to blow it with one single word.
"I didn't mean—" he tried to explain.
Glenna shot him a tear-filled scowl. "Don't bother, I know exactly what you meant. I hate you!" She ran into the house and slammed the door loudly behind her.