Conflicts
Right or Wrong, Lovers or Friends?
Midday. The sky was cloudy. Not a patch of blue could be seen. A gentle breeze danced through my half-opened window, bringing the curtains to life. The cool breath slid over my skin, sending a shiver through me. But I lay there, on my bed, staring out into the endless grey sky. When the cold air left, I sighed and relaxed. Suddenly the sound of approaching footsteps echoed through the door. I closed my eyes, hoping that whoever was there would think I was asleep and leave.
The wood creaked as the door opened, then silence. I kept my breaths slow and quiet. But the sound of footsteps became louder until I could sense someone standing beside my bed. Now I was tempted to open my eyes, but I held back my curiosity.
"Mi Li, I know you're not asleep. Besides, it's me – Azula."
I opened my eyes and turned my head to see her. She stood there with her arms crossed and a smirk on her face. I sighed. "Is it really that easy to tell? Anyway, what are you doing?"
"Just checking on you. How are you feeling?" She asked, as she sat on the edge of my bed.
"Better. Still feeling a little tired, but I'm okay." I gave her a small smile and shrugged my shoulders. She blew a sigh of relief.
"Well, that's good. Hey, it's about time for lunch. Want to come down and eat a bit?" she suggested, but I shook my head.
"No, I'm not in the mood to eat. You can go without me," I answered plainly.
"But you need to get your energy back. At least have a bowl of warm soup," she persisted. I sighed and shook my head again.
"No, I'll be fine," I argued with little enthusiasm. Becoming impatient, she quickly stood and placed her hands firmly on her hips.
"You're not fine. Now, don't make me feed you, because I will," she warned in a stern voice. I giggled quietly.
"I'll eat… just not yet. I need to go somewhere for a while," I explained. Just as I did, she dropped her arms to grab my shoulders.
"Go somewhere? You can't leave the palace yet. You've just woken from a coma!"
"I won't be long, I promise. I need to think. Please, just this once. Don't tell anyone else I'm gone," I pleaded. But she was hesitant.
"But… can't you think here? I don't see how leaving the palace makes a difference." She held a puzzled expression. I rolled my eyes.
"Fine, if you really need to know… I'm going back to my old house for a moment. Does that explain it?" Then she mouthed an 'oh' and nodded. I smiled. "So can I go?" I gave her the sweetest expression I could and waited for her response. She was still uncertain.
"But Mi Li, look at the sky. I'm quite sure it'll rain soon. You'll catch a cold and then we're both going to be in for it." I huffed.
"You forget – I bend water. Catch a cold? What cold?" I shrugged my shoulders. But Azula still looked reluctant. I sighed. "I'll be fine."
"Alright! But be quick. I'm not getting in trouble because of you." She narrowed her eyes.
"Okay, if it makes you happy: what do you want me to do for you if we get caught?"
She thought for a while… then a row of devilish teeth were revealed behind her bright crimson lips. I held my breath for the answer.
"Well… seeing as you've offered…" she began.
"Oh no… please don't be too harsh," I begged, whimpering at her mercy. I was going to regret ever opening my mouth.
"You'll have to…" she giggled wickedly, "tell Zuko that you love him…" my jaw dropped, "and seduce him" my eyes popped out, "to the point where he will never think of Mai again so that I can have my REVENGE!" she shouted with rampant obsession. Fearful of someone hearing, I desperately tried to hush her as she continued to laugh demonically. When she finally understood, she calmed and sat back down on the bed, quietly giggling to herself. I tugged at her arm.
"Azula! That's not fair! That's way too harsh for something so small. Besides, what makes you think I can win Zuko over like that? He loves Mai," I hissed. She snapped out of her trance.
"Small? If it's so 'small' why do you need me to help you so badly?" she argued. I couldn't comment. Then she folded her arms with confidence. "Besides, you will be able to win him over – very easily, actually. In fact, you already have. While you were in your coma, Zuko realised just how much he needed you. You were his secret angel, always ready to help, the one he was destined for…" she said in a dreamy tone.
"No offence Azula, but you just don't understand romance. I am not some secret angel. If I was, I'd be dead. And just so you know, I believe in fate and destiny, but there are still many things we can choose for ourselves. Everyone who is human is destined to die at some point, but what they do while they're still alive is up to them. I don't believe the two of us are destined – that's just how you'd like it to be so you can get your revenge on Mai, even though you should've forgiven her a long time ago. And as a final note, I think you're delusional: do I look like the seducing type to you?"
"Oh, Mi Li, you're underestimating yourself! I know there's a prowling tigress inside you. You just need to bring her out to play. I'll help you," she offered smugly. I scoffed.
"What? You help me? I'm sorry, but I never thought of you as being knowledgeable on seduction. But you're great at scaring people away, that's bound to come in handy," I mocked. She glared at me and slapped me lightly across the arm. "Hey! I just want you to not tell anyone else I'm gone. Is it really too hard to ask?"
"Oh, Mi Li, when will you learn? Everything comes at a price, and this is mine. Take it or leave it," she commanded with authority. I sighed.
"Fine! If you get in trouble because of me then I will do what you want me to. But now that I think about it, why can't you just deny the fact that you knew I left?" I asked her irately. Now I was afraid I had made my decision too soon.
"Well, I could do that, but I wouldn't want to betray you and let you get all the blame. Besides, it's a done deal and you can't back out of it. If I get in trouble for this, you're going to have to do what I say. Or, alternatively…" she thought, "I could just turn you in myself, which would get us both into trouble," she said, smiling playfully. I just stared at her in disbelief.
"You…. wouldn't. Would you?" I asked.
"Oh, of course I wouldn't! That would be just too hard on you. I promise to keep my word: I won't betray you on purpose. If you hold your end of the deal, then I'll hold mine. Satisfied?" she concluded. I blew a sigh of relief.
"Satisfied. But don't you dare go back on that deal. Remember – if you don't keep your side of the deal, I don't have to keep mine either. Your plan to turn me in on purpose would be futile."
"Yes, yes, you don't need to remind me. It would've been much more interesting though. Anyway, if you want to leave for a while, you'd better be quick. I'll leave you to change. You should be relatively safe since we'll be having lunch, but don't be gone for too long or someone might just come in to check on you."
And with that last warning, Azula slipped quietly out of the room, behaving as though nothing had happened. I immediately went into the bathroom to give myself a quick wash, splashing my greasy face with water and brushing my tangled hair into place. Being in a coma for two days, and waking up only to cry and go back to sleep, had not been good for me. I was beginning to smell odd, and my whole body felt filthy. I cringed at how horrible a state I was in – another reason to be avoiding people – but I'd have a proper bath when I got back. My bird cooed a farewell, so I stroked her soft feathers. Without further delays, I changed into an ordinary crimson dress with a matching hooded coat. I grabbed a small purse and headed swiftly out of my room.
Slipping past guards wasn't easy, but it was a good thing their helmets muffled their ears too much for them to notice my quiet footsteps. There were also fewer guards than I had anticipated. I think Azula had purposely sent some of them away. Nevertheless, I peeked around every corner before taking a step. I used the smaller hallways and exited through the back of the palace. I crouched by a bush and scanned the area for people. When it seemed clear, I pulled my hood on and carefully made my way towards the rear stables where I kept my Eelhound.
Upon seeing me, he became excited and tried to reach his head over the stable gate, scratching and making whining noises. I was planning to ride a dragon-moose because he would've been too conspicuous. But I quickly ran to him so that he would calm down. I stroked his smooth skin as he affectionately nudged his nose into my palm. I smiled.
"I still need to give you a name, don't I? I'll think about that later. Right now I need to go, but I can't ride you. Don't worry, you'll get your chance," I whispered.
"What do you think you're doing?" asked a familiar male's voice. I turned carefully. He gasped. "Mi Li? You're not supposed to be walking about!" he chided. I grinned sheepishly.
"Sorry, Uncle Yen, but I really have to go. I need to escape this place. I won't be long, promise. Please just let me borrow one of the dragon-moose?" I pleaded. He shook his head disappointedly, before pulling me into his arms.
"We've been so worried about you. You could've died. Don't do that to us again," he said quietly.
"I'm sorry," I apologised, feeling guilty. He sighed.
"If you really need a dragon-moose that bad, fine – take one. Here," he said, letting go of me to lead a dragon-moose from its stall. He quickly harnessed it, before helping me to sit astride its back. "Be quick, and don't get wet in the rain," he commanded. I nodded and swung the reigns. Abidingly, the dragon-moose broke into a gallop and raced out of the palace grounds. We flew past people as we made our way to the outskirts of the city. Busy stalls and carts full of produce quickly transformed into open fields and trees. It wasn't long before I had arrived at the house. Much to my relief, restoration work had not begun.
I dismounted and tied the reigns to a nearby tree, allowing the dragon-moose to rest and graze on the grass. I treaded on the weed-covered path, being careful not to trip on the dense growth. I made my way inside the house, no longer afraid of its cool darkness. Then, like a charging army, the expected downpour finally arrived. I sat by the foot of the staircase and stared silently out the front door. Outside, the rain continued to fall as though it would never cease. Slowly, I pulled the cloth purse out of my pocket and untied the string. I turned it upside down onto my palm, and out fell the broken charm. I put the cloth purse aside and played with the charm for a while, turning it and flipping it around in my hands.
What have I gotten myself into? As if I didn't have enough problems already. First there was Haru, then Toshiro… and now Zuko? Even my parents can't come to an agreement! What am I supposed to do? I must be a real flirt. Funny I never realised it. I guess that's why Mai hates me so much. The thing is, I'm always trying to be better. I don't like just being me – I don't think it's enough. I guess I've always felt like I had a responsibility to do more than I could – at least, I tried. Most times things worked out, but only when it was too late. And that's why I'm always trying to make up for things – because I'm never where I'm needed.
Why do I even try? I have so many past problems, there's no way I can make up for all of it even if I had a lifetime. Killed about five hundred souls in one night, at the age of ten – some innocent child I was. I don't even feel that bad about it. Gosh, I must be more ruthless than I thought. Maybe that's why Azula and I are such good friends.
I still have to master firebending. If I don't it means I'm less experienced and less capable of protecting myself. I hate people thinking they have to sacrifice for me. That's exactly what my parents did, and they are the reason why I hate the idea of others dying because of me. The sooner I can protect myself, the better. That assassin who tried to kill me last time is still out there, and I'm pretty sure he… or she… still wants my head. But I don't understand… why do they want me? All well, if I can protect myself, I won't have to be so worried.
The rain continued outside, but it seemed to be less intense now. I rested the charm in my palm and traced its contours with my fingers. In the dim light, the gems glowed softly, as though they were breathing.
Well, I can't stay here much longer. I need to think of a plan. What will I do? If I stay… things could get much worse between Mai and Zuko. I really don't want to get in between them. I'll admit I did have a crush on Zuko as a young child, but we're only friends. Mai is digging herself in by getting annoyed at me. What, because I helped Azula and gave Zuko his family back? If I stay, it's only because I need to train, nothing else. Then again, maybe it's best I go. It's not like this is the only place I can get trained.
If I leave, where will I stay? I hadn't really thought about it but I suppose I could go to Taku. Madam Hua said she was keen to take me in as her student. At least there I could do something useful: learning about plants and medicines, then selling them to aid those who are ill. But wait, I almost forgot – the Northern Water Tribe. They're still waiting for me. I still have to decide whether I'm up for the challenge. But if I go back to be their Princess, it'll just be harder for Toshiro. We are good friends: I'd say that we were pretty close to being in a relationship. But if that's not what he wants then I can't do anything about it.
Anyway, seeing as I'm already here and Chief Arnook has granted me time to train, I might as well stay a little longer. Training comes first. I suppose it's the first step in the right direction. I'm going to go back to the palace and clear things up with everyone – especially Zuko and Mai. Then I'll try to train as much as I can for the next few weeks… if the situation even stays well for that long. Otherwise, I'll have to change my plans – probably leave this palace for good. I'd better get back now. Gosh, I hope I'm not in trouble. Or Azula will have me lying on a bed of burning coal.
I put the charm back into the purse before tying the string. I carefully place the purse inside my coat pocket and stood up. The rain was now a light shower, and I walked out without worrying about it. I looked up at the sky, glad to see that some sunlight was filtering through the clouds. I quickly freed the dragon-moose and rode back to the palace. Uncle Yen was already there, waiting for my return. I thanked him and said goodbye, before hurrying carefully back through the hallways and slipping quietly into my room.
I unchanged and prepared a warm bath. I made sure I was thoroughly cleaned before drying myself with a towel and changing into a more elegant dress. I dried my hair with ease, pulling most of the water out with a single swipe, before combing it. I didn't bother to tie it up. Instead, I grabbed a clip with a colourful silk flower on it and pinned my fringe to one side. Suddenly, my stomach grumbled and I noticed my hunger.
My messenger bird squawked and stretched her wings – she was hungry too. I opened a low drawer and pulled out a bag of seeds. I poured some into her feeding bowl and put the bag back in the drawer. I quickly replenished her water supply before leaving my room.
I casually made my way downstairs, not stressed in any way. If the palace was this quiet, surely no one noticed I was gone – or did they? Two guards stood by the entrance of the dining hall, opening the huge doors for me when they saw my approach. I nodded my acknowledgement and continued in. Upon my arrival, everyone looked up from their meals and gazed at me. I said my greetings, which all but one returned, and sat down next to Azula as I waited for my meal.
"How are you feeling, Mi Li?" asked Ursa worriedly, sitting opposite me.
"I'm feeling much better, thank you. How have you been?" I returned politely.
"Oh, quite well I suppose. But you did give us all quite a shock."
"I realised that. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so reckless," I apologised weakly.
"You're absolutely right. What you did was stupid," Zuko commented, gazing critically at me.
"I'm sorry. I promise not to do that again," I answered quietly, his gaze filling me with guilt.
"Don't worry, you won't have to. It's almost gone thanks to you," he acknowledged, softening his tone a bit.
Suddenly, Mai stood from her seat and started for the door. All of our eyes followed her movements, except Zuko who kept his gaze on the table. I hadn't realised it was this bad.
"Well, we were just finishing our meal. But we can stay with you if you want," Lady Ursa offered. I shook my head.
"No, I'll be fine. You can go. I'm sure you have things to do," I answered. She nodded and headed out as well.
The maid brought a tray with a rice dish and a bowl of soup. She set it down neatly in front of me, placing the utensils to one side. I nodded thanks and she bowed before walking back into the kitchen.
"I'm staying," Azula stated aloud. I smiled and began to eat. Then she leaned closer towards me to whisper in my ear. "You're lucky," she breathed. I could hear how disappointed she was at me not getting caught. I pretended not to hear, aware that Zuko was still in the room. He didn't move and he didn't speak. He just sat there, staring at me. I felt really strange being watched while I ate. At one point, I almost choked on some rice! Everything felt so awkward; I was tempted to stop eating altogether.
"Don't stop. I'm sorry if I'm making you feel uncomfortable. It's just…" he tried to explain. I gazed at him, and nodded.
"It's okay, I understand. I gave everyone a scare," I admitted openly.
"It's not just that. I…" he hesitated.
I looked to Azula, but she seemed unconcerned. The three of us remained silent for a moment.
"Mi Li… I have… feelings for you. I can't deny that I kind of actually really like you," he finally said. I thought of what to say.
"Oh, well…" I was unsure of what to say next.
"I understand this is probably a shock to you. And it's not exactly great news either… with Haru and Toshiro to worry about. I'm sorry. I-I don't know what I'm doing. Ignore me," he stammered. But I shook my head and gave him a half-smile.
"Not at all, I already know how you feel. My parents told me. I went to the Spirit World while I was in the coma. So, I already know what you think, which is why I'm not really surprised. But, I want you to know that you shouldn't choose me over Mai. Mai loves you, she really does. She just doesn't show affection like many other girls. Look, you've known her for so long and without her you wouldn't be where you are," I explained.
"How do you know that?" he asked grudgingly.
"Azula told me about the time Mai betrayed her. She chose to help you and the Avatar escape from the prison at The Boiling Rock. If she hadn't done that, you and the Avatar wouldn't be around today." He began to get irritated.
"How do you know that would have been the case? Something else could've happened that saved us," he argued.
"But that's not as likely – you know that. Besides, my point is that she saved you, despite the consequences. That's how much she loves you, Zuko."
"You don't know anything about her. Or about what's going on between us."
"But I can see what's happening, and I know that it's not going well. I'm telling you, she loves you. She's the one for you," I tried to persuade.
"Why are you making it difficult for me?" he raised his voice, but remained calm.
"Difficult? I'm trying to make it easier for you. I'm giving you one choice – Mai."
"You don't know what the past months have been like. You don't know how difficult it has been between the two of us. Mai and I are like two completely different people. It's not working. You want to give me a choice that doesn't even work?" He was furious.
"Nothing will ever work out right. Besides, do you think Mai wants this anymore than you? It may be hard, but true love is the love that holds together under the most difficult tensions. You haven't tried hard enough yet. Give yourselves more time. This episode of fights is only temporary. Make sure you've reached the end of this episode before you make any rash decisions. It's only at the end that you'll find out how true your love is."
"I don't need to wait that long to find that out. It's already falling apart between us. Okay, so maybe Mai's love for me is still true, but that doesn't mean mine is. I've been trying so hard, but nothing's been working – you wouldn't understand," he said, turning away. I wasn't sure how to argue, so I waited. The hall became so quiet until it seemed no one was breathing. Then he sighed.
"But you know, more than anyone else here, that some things work out better than others. It's like trying to master firebending: there are two ways to learn. You either try to teach yourself, or you can get a teacher. If you knew it'd be easier to learn with a teacher and there was already one available to you, why would you still try to teach yourself?" he asked in an intimidating tone. I knew the answer: it was obvious. So I just nodded, understanding his perspective.
He exhaled. "Exactly: you'd take the teacher. Unless of course, you were too arrogant to admit you needed help. But this is not about self-pride or showing how tough we can be. It's about being with the people you love – fighting for a love that is strong is worth it, but fighting for a love that is weak will only cause more problems than necessary. It's just not working. Everything I try to keep us together only brings us further apart. And all the while, you've been there for me – as a friend, yes. But haven't you thought that maybe we could be more?" he asked gently. I glanced uncertainly down into my bowl of soup. He sighed.
"All the things that have been happening can't just be a mere coincidence. Like you said, some things were meant to be, but what if there's more to the puzzle? What if, some things were meant to happen, for other things to happen? If you weren't the Avatar's Disciple, you'd live as the average palace maid for the rest of your life. But it's because you are the Avatar's Disciple that a whole world of opportunities has opened to you. The fact that I have you as a friend, to me, is a sign that I've been given a chance at true happiness. And maybe it's a chance for you too. Haven't you noticed just how well we seem to understand each other? It's almost like… we are fated to fall in love," he explained quietly.
"See! I'm not the only one who thinks you two are destined!" Azula interrupted loudly.
I shook my head at her and sighed. "It happens when we're having a hard time – we look further to find help. And being me, I guess I'm just the kind of person who is more than happy to do that. I'm telling you, it's just your mind exaggerating your feelings for me," I explained in a gentle tone.
"It's not just my mind that's sick of all this drama: my heart is going through just as much. And don't tell me I don't know what I feel – I know exactly what I feel You're a great person, you really are: you have qualities that I deeply admire. Many people would agree with me, but it seems like you don't know it. I can always tell when you're trying to make yourself look bigger than you really are. I know because I've tried that too. But trust me when I say it doesn't help. Everyone likes you for who you are, so stop trying to be someone you're not," he commanded with frustration. I didn't argue. Then he calmed down and seemed to have something else to say, but he was hesitant.
"And well, this is kinda embarrassing, but… Azula and my mother have already heard me say this, so I'll just tell you. I hadn't really thought about it until you entered the coma. I tried to imagine how I'd deal with not having you around anymore – if you died because of me. And frankly, I don't think I can deal with that kind of guilt. It was also then that I realised that I haven't shown you enough appreciation, despite everything you've done for me. I also thought about what my life would be like if you did live, and… I couldn't help imagining us becoming more than friends. Being with you just feels so natural, so peaceful: to ask for more would be a disgrace. Now I know this all sounds pretty unoriginal but I just want to say you're perfect," he complimented honestly.
I laughed. "Perfect? I'm not perfect. I just have a few extra skills and not much else. Not like Mai… she's good with stilettos to make up for not being a bender, she has a family, she looks pretty, and…"
"What? You think this is all about appearances? So you may not be the most attractive-looking girl around. Well, so what! If that's the case, what does that make me? Fire Lord Ugly?" he interrupted. I couldn't help giggling a bit.
"You're not ugly! You look cool with or without a scar. Honestly! That's why you two look great together," I stated with a smile. He sighed exasperatedly.
"There you go again with the modesty. Stop denying that you're better than her and start bragging instead!" he exclaimed.
I folded my arms. "No."
He sighed and shut his eyes for a moment. "Then what will it take to convince you that it's over between me and Mai?" he asked exhaustedly.
"A lot," I answered in a blank voice.
He shook his head in frustration. "Well, whether you're convinced doesn't matter anyway. That fact is that we're done. I've had enough and I'm moving on. My feelings for you are more than a random occurrence," he concluded.
I shrugged my shoulders. "Then I suppose I can't do anything. Besides, you're the Fire Lord. I can't command you. Just be careful you don't do something you might regret."
He huffed. "As if I don't already know that from experience. Well, I've shared my story but you haven't. So just for the record, answer this question – how do you feel about me?" he asked. His gaze bore right into me as he waited for an answer. "You know what I mean," he added. Strangely, when he asked, I hesitated.
"I had a crush on you as a young girl: I never knew you personally at the time. And now, we're good friends," I answered clearly. He just nodded with a blank expression, before leaving the room discretely. I watched as he disappeared into the darkness.
I sighed and continued to eat the rest of my meal. Now, only Azula and I remained.
"I knew it! You did have a crush on my brother! I bet you still do – you just don't want to admit it. After all, he's one of the most sought after bachelors in the Fire Nation, being the Fire Lord and all. I don't see how you could not want to be his girlfriend," exclaimed Azula. I glanced at her and rolled my eyes. When I didn't argue, she folded her arms definitively and smiled.
I decided to throw her off a bit. "Well, I'd tell you exactly what I admire about him… but if I did that you'd be a loose cannon, spreading gossip like a disease," I teased, giggling as her attitude changed. She hit the table with her fist.
"Not fair! I want to know everything. Tell me! I demand that you tell me everything now, or I'll have to torture you!" she threatened. I just continued to giggle. "What? Am I not scary enough?" she asked furiously. I burst into laughter. Frustrated, she gave up and sat back down in her seat, like a child throwing a tantrum.
The next day Azula and I met in the courtyard that was normally reserved for personal training. I explained to Azula what I had planned. I told her that I'd stay for a few weeks to train with her. But how long I could stay was still undecided. If things went well, I would stay longer. If the situation worsened, I'd have to leave the palace.
"But I really don't understand. Why do you even care about Mai? Why should you have to try and fix her mess?" Azula asked in frustration. I sighed.
"Because, Azula, I'm not a stealer. Besides, I've already got another two interested in me. I really don't want a third. Gosh, I must be a pretty big flirt to be attracting so much attention. Funny how I never notice it." I was genuinely annoyed at myself. Azula giggled.
"Mi Li, you're not a flirt – Ty Lee is. Believe me: she was attracting a whole horde of young shallow-minded guys at the beach. You're just… an easy person to get along with. Don't blame yourself for how others feel about you. That's their problem," she commented in a patronising tone. I decided she was right. "Anyway, we can't train you unless you can get your fire going. How is it?" she asked, changing the subject.
I opened my palm and tried to sustain a flame. It was relatively easy, so I stood up and made the flame larger and hotter. Then I looked straight ahead at a straw dummy on the other side of the training court. Feeling the energy course through my body and into the flame, I inhaled a deep breath of air and punched my fist forward. The fireball flew straight towards the cringing dummy, and they met with an explosive force. Azula nodded her head impressively.
"I guess that won't be a problem then. Let us begin. Now, as much as I'd like to move on to the more exciting things, we need to make sure you can accomplish the basics. The first thing about firebending is that it's all about energy. And part of the key to being a good firebender is fitness. This is where I sit back while you do all the work. I want to see you do fifty push-ups, fifty sit-ups, fifty hop-squats, fifty flying kicks, fifty continuous punches, and fifty laps around the courtyard – NOW!"
"What? I can't do all that!" I exclaimed in panic.
"Alright, maybe I'm being a bit too ambitious," she giggled. "You won't have to do fifty of everything, but that doesn't mean I've dropped my expectations. I don't care how long it takes. You have the whole day to train. Try to do as many as you can. If you're tired at the end of the day, you're doing well. So get to it!"
"Wait! But I'm not wearing the right clothes!" I complained, gesturing to my long silk dress.
"Oh, stop whinging, Mi Li!" she commanded in frustration. "Fine, hurry and change into some training gear," she decided, waving me away with her hands.
"What do I wear?" I asked, innocently. She smacked her forehead with her palm.
"Don't you have any training gear? You know… like a vest and a pair of trousers?" she asked tiredly. I shook my head. Then she sighed and started walking back inside the palace. "Follow me. Uh!" she groaned. I grinned sheepishly and silently trailed behind her.
But after scouring through my wardrobe, Azula decided that I had nothing appropriate for training. So she lent me some of her own clothes. I'd wear them until the professional tailor had completed making four new sets for me. In the meantime, I couldn't help feeling a little weird. But it was easy to forget such details once I got into the habit of Azula's hard-core training routine. The first few days were the hardest to endure. I hadn't realised just how unfit I was until I started training. And, as per Azula's expectations, I was completely worn out at the end of each day. It really was tough being under her supervision: rain or shine, I was expected to be out there, ready to train as soon as it was daybreak.
It was summertime, and the days were at their warmest, with the sun high above the horizon. Good for us firebenders, of course, but it still didn't quite make up for the heat. I could feel the searing rays touch my fair skin, turning it red. By the time the first week was over, I had achieved a light tan. But the skin where the sun didn't reach remained pale, causing areas of dramatic contrast on my body. There were, however, a few things that I could be truly proud of – my fitness and flexibility had improved dramatically, and I was developing stronger muscles. With each passing day, I came closer to Azula's crazy expectations. By the end of the month, I'd be about two thirds of the way to reaching her fitness target.
"Too bad you're doing so well – it's nice being able to sit back in the shade while you run around in the heat. Looks like I'll have to start teaching you some real techniques pretty soon," she remarked disappointedly. I rolled my eyes at her, still panting from my last run. "Well, you're done for today. Go have a bath – all that sweat is horrible," she commanded, acting disgusted. I huffed.
"You think I enjoy it any more than you do? If you were the one running around in the sun you'd be sweating buckets too," I argued. She just smiled politely.
"Princess Mi Li, the three sets of training outfits you ordered are ready. I've left two in your room, but I've brought one down to show you. Are you satisfied with it? The tailor himself said that the colour and design has been inspired by you," informed one of the senior maids, handing me a sample of the new clothes.
"It looks wonderful. I like it. Thank you for telling me that. Could I just ask one more favour? Please give the tailor my message. Send him my thanks and tell him that I'm very pleased with his work. Make sure he's paid correctly. That will be all. Can you do that?"
"Of course, princess," she answered, before bowing and going back inside the palace. I turned to Azula, holding my new set of clothes up for her to assess.
"What do you think?" I asked curiously. She gazed at it for a while.
"I suppose it suits you. Personally, it's not my taste – but it doesn't matter what I think. So long as you like it, and it's comfortable and durable. Wear it tomorrow. I'd like to see you in it," she answered. But somehow, I couldn't help feeling that her statement was sarcastic.
"Sure, I'd love to get out of your clothes. I was afraid that your insanity would rub off onto me," I joked. She huffed and ignored my teasing, returning to her task of writing letters – she must be replying to a letter from Denzo. I smiled and decided to head upstairs. Inside, the air was so much cooler and everything seemed so dark. Hours of being out in the sun had somewhat burned my eyes. Large splotches of yellow darted across my vision and I struggled to maintain my balance.
But then I caught sight of someone at the other end of the hall. I tried to focus in, being able to just make out the person from their silhouette. It was Mai coming slowly towards me! She was walking alone and her footsteps were near impossible to hear. I decided to start a conversation, but the moment she noticed me she turned and began walking in the direction she came! But I was determined to speak to her, so I pursued her down the hallway.
"Mai! Can you please stop for a moment? I just want to talk to you," I called out, jogging to catch up. At my request, she stopped dead in her tracks and pivoted. I came to a halt and faced her, only to receive a scornful glare.
"What do you want to talk about? If it's about making peace and being friends, forget it. I won't believe what you say anyhow," she stated, making her point clear and precise.
"So you want this to keep going? You want your relationship with Zuko to keep getting worse?" I asked back.
"It wouldn't be like this if you had never showed your face around here," she responded fiercely.
"It would've eventually. You know that. Zuko even said: months before I showed up, things were already getting bad," I refuted calmly. She just crossed her arms and looked away. "Look, I'm just here to complete my training. Once I'm done, or when my father's house is restored, I won't get in the way. But if there's something I can do –"
"Leave," she answered before I could even finish.
The two of us stood there for a moment, two motionless and silent figures in the evening light. Then, without another word, Mai continued in the direction she was travelling. My gaze followed her movements, until she disappeared into a bend in the hallway. I decided there was no point in persisting, so I continued to make my way to my room. A refreshing bath removed all the dirt and sweat, and I could finally change into more comfortable clothes. Dinner was the same as it always was these days. But today, Mai's gaze did not meet mine during the entire course of the meal. She came and left the table like a ghost. I suppose my good intentions weren't enough to convince her. So be it – I've tried, it didn't work, so it's out of my hands.
The next morning I was geared-up and ready in my new outfit. A thickly padded vest, a sleeveless top, and a pair of loose trousers designed specifically for intensive physical training. They all had a matching theme: shades of purple with blue and red thread sewn into the material to add some personality. Strangely, Azula wasn't waiting out in the courtyard as I had expected. So I began with stretches and other warm-up exercises. About half an hour passed and there was still no sign of Azula. I began to wonder where she was. When yet another half-hour passed and she still didn't show, I decided to try and find her.
I went into her room, but she wasn't there. So I tried asking some maids and guards if they knew where she was. I finally got information from a guard informing me that she was in the palace but that I not to be informed of her presence. I groaned.
She's playing a game! What happened to my training? Then I thought about it. Unless… this was part of the training. So I continued to search the palace, but Azula was nowhere to be seen or heard. Finally I returned to the courtyard. I had just wasted an entire hour searching for her! I sat down on a stone bench, feeling rather annoyed. Then I heard something on the rooftops: a tapping noise. I quickly stood up to look around. She must be trying to sneak up on me. I kept my senses alert and shifted into my stance. Then, from the corner of my eye she appeared as a fiery figure! A bright orange flame was sent flying in my direction and I just managed to divert it!
I jumped backwards and threw my own flames in her direction, letting my instincts take over my movements. But she was just as quick and agile: experience was her biggest asset, and it wasn't long before I began to feel the consequences of not being fit enough. In a battle like this, if you can't outlast your opponent, you've already lost. But I did have a few tricks in mind: the huge pot of water, sitting in one corner of the courtyard, would be most useful. I tried to lead Azula towards it without making it too obvious, but much to my disappointment she seemed to be aware of my intentions. She stayed a constant distance away, not letting me get close enough to the water.
She grinned, knowing I was quickly running out of options. So I tried with all my effort to reach the water from where I stood. I pulled hard and managed to remove about half of the water from the barrel. I reeled it in at a shocking speed, watching as Azula's calm expression transformed into one of uncertainty. I distracted her with another few powerful strikes, before I was able to encase her hands and feet with water. I was just about ready to freeze her where she stood, but she managed to jump out of my reach and counter-attack with a kick that delivered an extremely powerful blast. I attempted to divert the force but I was knocked backward onto the hard pavement. I groaned as I glanced up at the spinning sky, then my view was filled with Azula's face as she crouched above me.
"Ha! Mi Li, you cheater! You tried to use water, which you've already mastered. But that won't work because I've had lots of experience with waterbenders. Don't worry, you'll learn. Did you have fun trying to look for me today?" she asked in a tone of vanity.
"I hate you for that," was all I managed to whisper. The air had been completely blown out of my lungs! As for Azula, she could laugh.
"That'll remind you that I'm the boss around here," Azula announced smugly. "Don't forget it," was her warning. "Oh, by the way – that outfit does look good on you," she complimented as she helped me stand. I smiled weakly and wheezed a 'thanks'. The rest of our day was spent relaxing indoors.
Another week of training passed, and all the while I didn't speak to Mai or Zuko. They seemed to be on better terms now. It wasn't much of an improvement, but at least they weren't exchanging anymore death stares. I was also making good progress with my training. Azula was glad that I could cover the basics this quickly – she was beginning to get bored of watching me run around in circles. We started focussing on creating bigger and hotter flames.
The only problem was that it was draining my energy too quickly. After a few minutes of the exercise, it became dangerous for me to continue. But Azula also made me practice controlling the fire – the task was to move a small flame around in different patterns. It was one of the few exercises that were both fun and relaxing.
But after my third week of training, things started to get worse again. Zuko had organised the restoration of my house a week ago, but it was taking a while to get started. He's been hassling construction workers for days now, and he's not happy with the progress. But that was merely the problem. The thing was, every time Zuko mentioned me, it would aggravate Mai's attitude. She was just about sick of hearing my name now, I was sure… but it's not like I could help it. I even told Zuko to forget about the reconstruction, but he still insisted on it. What else could I do – he was the Fire Lord after all.
I really did feel bad for Mai. Sure, she was rather arrogant and narrow-minded towards me, but she had her reasons. But it is now that I realise I can't stay, and make things better for them at the same time. Someone had to leave – it was going to have to be me or Mai. For her sake, I would leave. Besides, it's not like I had any deep feelings for Zuko – just a crush. His feelings were definitely exaggerated. It happens when we're having a hard time: we might see things that aren't there, or don't see the things that are there.
Also, I didn't want to earn myself a bad name by taking Zuko away from Mai – I wanted to stay well and truly out of this. Otherwise, Mai would be forever cursing me – not exactly something I want to have. Oh, but what can I do? I'm not ready to leave just yet. I still have to train. And I can't stay anywhere else because my house is still under repair. If I choose to leave, Zuko would just command me to stay by using his authority against me. I can't let him know – I'll have to leave behind a note or letter of explanation. But… where would I go?
Author's Note
Okay everyone, this is where you come in. What should Mi Li do? You get to choose! Read the following prologues to get an insight for each of the choices she can make. Hint: Each element represents a nation and a particular person in Mi Li's life (but you probably already guessed that). Each of the choices leads to a different aspect of life, determining how the story ends.
Earth: Mi Li chooses to leave the palace and stay in Taku. There, she can help Madam Hua as her pupil. She will also get the opportunity to study medicines as well as distribute them to the ill and injured. Studying and travelling, while going by a new identity, keeps her safe and undetected. This remains her lifestyle for the next few years, but everyone gets old eventually. This event brings Mi Li to seek a past companion, but fate brings her another who is the last one she expects to meet.
Water: Mi Li chooses to leave the palace and returns to the Northern Water Tribe. She will take up her role as the next in line for the throne, but she will learn that taking up so much responsibility is much easier said than done. Under the supervision of Chief Arnook, Mi Li studies Northern Water Tribe politics and customs. Meanwhile, Toshiro has moved on. No longer expected to take up leadership, he is appointed as Mi Li's personal guard. But it is a meaningless status, for there is nothing he or anyone can do to protect her. The assassins are still out there, and now everyone knows the name of the Northern Water Tribe Princess.
Fire: Mi Li chooses to stay in the palace because she still hasn't completed her firebending training. She'll continue to cause trouble between Zuko and Mai, but mastering her skills is more important than worrying over a case of incompatible personalities. Three months later, Mi Li's old house is fully restored and a few maids and gardeners are assigned to maintain the property. She prepares to move out of the palace but is restrained by the Fire Lord himself – no longer is he willing to salvage the spark of a dying relationship. But as he puts his foot down, with the weight of the highest authority in the Fire Nation, Mai displays enough defiance to burn the entire palace to the ground.
Now, vote on the poll on my profile page. Choose the option with the order that you want to read these three endings. The ending with the most votes will be the one I write first. There is no limit set for how long this poll is open, but I would like to make you all aware of one thing – I may not write again for a very, VERY long time. I might post a few short bonus chapters, but when I'll actually continue writing the main story is still uncertain. I'm very sorry. I know this is pretty much the height of suspense. But please don't hate me for this: I really do want to write more, but I am a very busy person and can no longer afford the time.