Chapter 35: I miss you

Phil had been staring at the ceiling for hours, unable to sleep. He finally began to stir as he heard movement outside his door and someone called "Phil, time to get up!". He couldn't be bothered to reply, and after a few seconds he heard footsteps as they wandered away. He considered lying there, refusing to go, but he quickly decided against it. He had to go. He had to bring some normality back into Oliver and Lucy's days. They had fallen back into their routine, they had played, they had laughed, but it just didn't seem… right. They were unsettled, and Phil needed to take things back to normal. Plus, he was really worried about Lucy. She seemed to be taking the worst. She refused to do her work, not only here, but at school too. Her teacher had called, told Dave that she was refusing to do anything. Phil knew she missed Dan, missed him helping her. He was always so good at helping her, making her feel normal no matter what others said. That was what Lucy wanted, to be normal, and Dan was the only one that could give her that. Besides, he was nearing the end of his A-levels, but there was still a lot of work to do. He couldn't afford any more time off.

He still laid there for a few minutes though, trying to gather the energy to move. He hadn't slept at all, and he was physically and emotionally exhausted. There were very little that he actually cared about now. Oliver and Lucy, and finding Dan. That was it. He couldn't find Dan until he'd left though, so he had to focus on the other two.

Eventually he heard doors opening and two lots of footsteps trudging down the stairs. At least he wouldn't have to fight for the bathroom. Sure, he'd miss breakfast, but he wasn't hungry anyway. Actually, the idea of food was making him feel sick. He sighed and swung his legs out of the bed and stood up, grabbing his phone from the side as he did so. He trudged to the bathroom, resisting the overwhelming urge to look at his phone. He'd been awake all night, if Dan had text him he would have heard. He tried not to worry, told himself that Dan was probably just settling down, but that didn't stop his heart from pounding. When he reached the bathroom he quickly put a song on, not listening to what it was as it blared out of the speakers. Something loud, which was good. It could drown out the stupid thoughts in his head. The thoughts telling him that Dan had finally realised that he was happier without him. The thoughts telling him he'd got into some sort of trouble, that he was hurt. The thoughts telling him something was wrong. He brushed his teeth quickly and splashed some cold water in his face before turning on the shower. He let the water warm up while he threw his pyjamas into a corner.

He slid quickly into the shower, wincing slightly as the needles of hot water hit his skin, but he didn't bother to turn the temperature down. He stood there for a few minutes, listening to the rhythmic patter of water hitting the bottom of the bath, before sighing. If he didn't hurry up, Dave would be banging on the door telling him to hurry up. He grabbed the shampoo and lathered it through his hair, rinsing it out quickly. He did the same with the conditioner before reaching for his 'girly' shower gel, trying not to think about how much Dan had liked it. When he was done he switched of the water and climbed out, shivering slightly as the cold air hit his bare skin. He quickly pulled his pyjamas back over his red skin and rushed back to his room. He dressed quickly, music still blaring, not paying attention to what he was wearing or listening to. He rushed to the other side of his room, grabbed his hair dryer and plugged it in. He sat on the floor, leaning against the wall, and brought it up to his head before switching it on.

There was a strange noise, and suddenly everything was white. Phil inhaled quickly, shocked, and then burst into violent coughs. He had breathed in some sort of powder. Eventually he came to his senses, and switched the machine of quickly. Flour. His hair, his clothes, his carpet, all covered in flour. He saw bit of yellow on the floor, contrasting to the bright white. He picked it up quickly, and turned it over, his eyes scanning the note.

Phil

I bet your flour hair looks nicer than my hobbit hair. See you soon, I love you.

Dan

Phil felt a small smile tug at the corners of his lips, and he chuckled slightly. Ok, it came out as more of a chocked sound, but there was nobody to hear it, so it was ok. He grabbed his phone quickly, only half paying attention to what he was doing. So that's what he'd been doing when Phil snuck off. Putting flour and a note inside his hair dryer. He stopped the music, not even noticing the complete silence that was left behind. He fired a quick text to Dave, telling him to make Sarah take the others, he was going to be late and he'd walk. When he was done, he contemplated his phone for a few minutes. Should he text him? Would Dan want him to? What would he say?

He tossed his phone away quickly. He couldn't text him, and having hold of the phone was too tempting. He wasn't going to force Dan to talk to him. Dan would text when he was settled. Dan would text when he was ready. Dan would text.

Hopefully.

He stared at the note, ignoring the powder that surrounded him, tickling his nose. He stared at the note, moving it away from him slightly. He didn't want his tears to spill onto it, to smudge the perfect writing. This was just such a… Danish thing to do. Of course he'd done something like this. There was a hidden meaning. Dan was telling him to smile, to laugh, to be happy. Dan always seemed to think laughing could fix anything, no matter the problem. It was his last resort. Laugh. Forget about everything, and just laugh. A huge grin broke across his face as tears dripped down his face, mixing with the flour on the floor. Stupid Dan. Amazing Dan.

He stared at Dan's name for a long time, at the words he had written.

I love you.

"I miss you" Phil whispered into the stillness of the room, still crying, still smiling. Still laughing.

A/N I know this is really short, I'm thinking I'm probably going to upload another chapter today :3 Now, here go the shout outs for you amazing people. Seriously, you're like, amazingphil amazing :P

Hannah: Aww, thank you :D this makes my day, seriously!

Guest: (:OMG this is amazing! *wipes away tear*) Thank you! And I'm sorry about your tears, it'll all be worth it in the end. That's phan, a rollercoaster of emotions :3

Gemstone: I think everyone cries when little kids get emotional! It's actually worrying, Lucy and Oliver have actually started to become real in my head. Like, I'll think to myself 'oh, Lucy and Oliver would love that game!' and then I'm like… oh yeah… fictional. I should probably get help for that. Oh well, writing is my therapy :P

Guest: (:l honestly can't function because of you) I'm sorry! I don't want to stop you from functioning normally :( I promise It'll get better!

Dansdelia: I love the name :D I'm sorry, please function normally! I'm sorry about your inner fangirl! I promise I'll update as much as I can, and I'm sending your inner fangirl some chicken soup :P

Guest: (:l I can't wait for more! :3 POST MORE SOON! IT'S SO FLIPPIN GOOD!) Thank you, I'm going to try and post more regularly :P Phil would be proud of that language ;)

Blair: I bring you more :P Hope you liked it :D

Just a shout out to gemstone, llamas-like-socks and potatoes are not for sex, seriously, you guys are the best! Also Savanna W (I'm sorry if I spelt it wrong!) your great too! My friend says thank you btw :P So I hope everything's going well with you all, and I'll give you another chapter soon :3 (This was a really long A/N! I f you read itr all, have some cookies. Huh, even if you didn't read it all, have some cookies!)