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Chapter 37

Tristan sat in a chair beside Rachel's bed, not leaving her side once since bringing her here to her room in the Confessor's Palace. Reaching out, he carefully adjusted the blanket around her, making sure that she was comfortable.

He was still horrified by what had happened to her, by nearly losing her right there in his arms. He was so thankful that Richard's First File had been able to free the palace staff that had been locked up in the council chambers, the palace healers helping to save her life.

If Na'Drea hadn't come to help heal those wounded in the battle take back the palace when she had, Rachel would have died in that corridor.

"How is she doing?"

Tristan looked up to see Na'Drea standing near the foot of the bed, her hands folded before her. She looked tired; a bruise still marred her face from where one of Kao's men had hit her when the Confessor's Palace had first been attacked.

Having practically grown up in the palace, he'd known Na'Drea his whole life. Right now, she was a most welcome face in the midst of his worries.

"She still hasn't opened her eyes yet," Tristan softly said, his attention returning to the beautiful Mord'Sith lying so still in the bed next to him.

"Give her some time, Tristan," Na'Drea reassured him as she gave him a warm smile. "She lost quite a bit of blood by the time I got to her. She was fortunate that you were there to put pressure on her wound or she would've bled to death."

"I can't thank you enough, Na'Drea," Tristan replied, slipping his hand around Rachel's. "You saved her life…and mine."

Na'Drea's smile grew as she watched Tristan with the young woman. It warmed her heart to see him so in love again after losing Kahlan. She knew how difficult that had been for him to know that she had fallen in love with her Seeker.

"I was only too glad to help," she told him. "I need to go check on several other patients, but please, come get me if you need me."

"Thank you, Na'Drea," he murmured, squeezing Rachel's hand as if silently willing her to respond to his presence.

"You are more than welcome, Tristan," she replied before turning to leave him alone once more.

Leaning his elbows on the edge of the bed, the King of Tashon couldn't conceal the fear that still rattled him, wanting Rachel to open her beautiful sky blue eyes and look at him once more. He longed to hear her voice, to feel her lips against his again.

He could scarcely believe how much his life had changed in recent weeks. When he had first left for the People's Palace, he had not only been resolved to bring Kahlan back to Aydindril to save the city that had been on the cusp of destruction, but to also win her heart back.

It had stunned him how much Kahlan truly loved Richard and, although Richard had been struggling with so many things at the time, it obvious now how deeply he loved her in return. It had been painfully evident that they were meant only for each other, but he was able to let go of that now thanks to the woman lying in the bed before him.

Richard and Kahlan's love was magical in a way, making him long for something as special and intimate as what they shared. He knew that he had finally found it in Rachel. Now, he just needed her to wake up, to be alright. Then, hopefully he could make her his forever if she'd have him.

"Tristan…" she murmured, her voice weak.

"I'm right here," he told her, reaching out to tenderly stroke her hair. "You're going to be alright."

"What about Lord Rahl? Kahlan?"

"They…they're back at the Palace now," he told her, choosing his words carefully. He didn't want her to worry right now. "Everything is back the way that it should be again."

Rachel looked at him through slitted eyes, her brow furrowing with his words as she fought the cobwebs that still filled her head. "What aren't you telling me?"

"You're safe and they're safe and that's all that matters now," he informed her. "Kao and Theon are both dead and Chase is out hunting for the wizard right now."

Rachel seemed to visibly relax with his words, her eyes falling closed again. "Is Kahlan alright? Did those men hurt her?"

Tristan swallowed hard as he thought about his friend, the way she had looked when Richard had brought her back. She had been barely alive, Richard beside himself with crushing panic. He just prayed that Zedd would be able to heal her.

"She…she's in bad shape, Rachel," he reluctantly told her.

Rachel began to shake her head, fear welling inside of her for her friend. "I…I need to go see them," she murmured as she tried to sit up. "I need to see Lord Rahl…see if he needs me."

Tristan moved to sit on the edge of the bed, his hands finding her shoulders as he gently pushed her back against the mattress. "You are not going anywhere, Rachel," he firmly insisted. "You're staying right here where you belong for now."

The Mord'Sith groaned, her side aching from where she had been stabbed. "Are you going to try to keep me here?" she asked, her tone teasing as she stared at him.

He was so incredibly handsome, his ice blue eyes so tender and full of love. She could scarcely believe that he truly felt that way towards her. Didn't he realize what she was, the things that she had done to others? It all just seemed like some wonderful dream to her…one meant for someone else.

"If I have to," he said with a grin. "Consider me your personal bodyguard from now."

Rachel chuckled softly with his words, her laughter turning into a gasp with the pain that sliced through her side. "I've never had a personal bodyguard before."

"Well, consider me your first…and only," he replied with a triumphant smile.

She smiled softly at him in response. "Are you making me your sole responsibility now?"

"Yes…and I hoping you'll let me make it permanent," he admitted, his hand gently caressing the side of her face.

"Are you sure you want that?" she asked in disbelief, almost afraid of the answer she'd received, but she had to know for sure. "You know what I am, Tristan. I am a Mord'Sith. I've done more things…had horrible things done to me by Darken Rahl. You can't possibly want someone like me. I'm…"

Tristan quickly leaned in, silencing her with his lips before pulling back to rest his forehead against hers. "I don't care," he murmured as they shared the same breath. "That was in the past and you were under the control of that monster Darken Rahl. I'm talking about the present, the future…a future with me if you'll have me."

"I…I don't know what to say," she softly said.

Tristan grew tense, anxious for the answer to his next question. "Do you feel anything for me?"

Rachel's hand came to rest against Tristan's face, her eyes suddenly growing moist. "What I feel for you, I've never felt anything like it before for anyone else," she admitted. "You are an amazing man, full of such compassion and strength…not to mention you're a king. You deserve someone so much better than me to be your queen. Tashon wouldn't want me."

Tristan's heart leapt in his chest with her admission, the elation inside putting a smile on his face again. "Lucky thing I'm the king because I get to chose who I want to be my queen and Tashon will accept whoever I chose."

"You really want me to be your queen?" she asked, stunned.

"More than anything in this world," he informed her, his lips brushing softly against hers.

Rachel pressed her lips more firmly against his, deepening the kiss as she poured her heart into the moment. She wanted him to feel what beat inside of her for him, what she felt when she looked at him…touched him, how he made her feel like her heart could actually fly sometimes.

Retreating for air, Tristan cradled her face in his hands, his eyes roaming over her in desperate need of an answer. "I love you, Rachel," he told her, nuzzling his nose against hers. "I know it seems sudden, but I know it's real. I feel it with every beat of my heart."

"I…I love you too," she softly confessed, overwhelmed by his admission.

Tristan smiled brightly with her words, kissing the tip of her nose. Carefully, he lay down in bed beside her, pulling her close to him. Rachel willingly snuggled into his hold on her, snaking her arms around him as she rested her head on his chest.

"I wonder what Lord Rahl and Kahlan will say about me leaving the Mord'Sith," she said.

"Sleep for now. We'll talk to them later," he told her, kissing the top of her head. "I'll be right here when you wake."

Rachel sighed in utter contentment and a happiness that she thought she'd know, relishing the feel of Tristan's arms wrapped so protectively around her. She could hardly believe that this was happening to someone like her.

After everything that had happened to her since being taken by the Mord'Sith, all the horrors that she had been forced to endure and done, she never thought that she'd actually fall in love with a king…or be loved in return.

XXX

Richard looked down at his son sleeping in his arms, his fingers gently caressing his cheek. He looked so much like Kahlan it melted his heart. He loved seeing her in each one of his children, in their actions as well as their features.

He was still beside himself with fear, panic continually clawing at his heart. Ayden had been sick by the time he'd gotten to them in the hidden suite beneath the Confessor's Palace. Zedd had been able to keep it at bay for the most part, but Ayden had needed medicine as well. Thankfully, he'd been able to get that.

Zedd stood in the doorway, watching his grandson as he held his son. He looked as though he'd been to the Underworld and back a couple of times. Exhaustion lined his face, fear still clouded his eyes. He'd been through more heartache in the last several weeks than most people go through in a whole lifetime.

Richard stood up, walking over to Ayden's crib and tucking him in. "I don't know what I would have done if something had happened to him, Zedd."

"He should be fine now, my boy," the wizard reassured him.

"How's Kahlan?" Richard softly asked, watching his son as he slept.

"She's still unconscious," he reluctantly informed him. "It's going to take quite a bit of time for her to recover. She suffered some serious internal damage, several broken ribs, internal bleeding. I'm afraid that Theon and Kao took out their aggression on her."

Richard's fingers curled around the edge of the crib with the news, his chin falling to his chest as he released a ragged breath. He should have been there to stop it, to save her. It should have been him instead of her…never her.

"And when she wakes, I'm going to have to tell her the man that was like a father to her is now dead," he told him, pain pervading his voice.

Zedd scowled with the reminder. "I just wish Edmund would have stayed out of it and let the First File handle it."

"You know he couldn't do that," Richard sadly said. "It wasn't in him to sit on the sidelines and let others fight when there was something he could do to help."

The wizard sighed heavily. "I know," he admitted. "It doesn't make his death any easier to handle. Aggie is beside herself, can't stop crying. Poor thing. And Kahlan…she's not going to take this well."

"When Kahlan's well again, we'll have a proper funeral for him," Richard replied. "Any word from Chase yet?"

"Yes," Zedd said. "He managed to track Ahti out of the Wizard's Keep, but he lost him in the city somewhere. He's still searching for him. I need to go secure the Keep again so that damn wizard doesn't try to get back inside."

Richard nodded his head, more than relieved that Chase was here with them now. "How's Rachel?"

"She'll be fine," Zedd reassured him. "Na'Drea was able to heal her. Tristan is with her now."

"Really?" Richard asked, surprised. "I didn't see that coming although I have to admit I'm more than a little relieved that he's given up on taking Kahlan away from me."

Zedd shook his head in disbelief as his grandson made his way to him. "Did you honestly believe that Kahlan would ever choose him over you, Richard?"

"Yes…I did," he softly confessed as he left Ayden's room, closing the door behind him. "She deserves so much better than what I did to her, Zedd."

"Maybe, but do you really think that Kahlan would ever stop loving you just because you stumbled and lost your way?" he asked. "Everyone stumbles at some point in their life, Richard. It's how you react, how you pick yourself up after that speaks to the true person inside and I believe that you have more than proven yourself to be a very noble man."

"I don't feel very noble," he admitted as he entered his bedchambers that he shared with Kahlan. "I feel like I failed Kahlan…my children."

Richard's breath caught in his chest as his eyes fell on Kahlan unconscious in their bed. Bruises marred her beautiful face, the cut on her forehead so ghastly against her pale skin. He wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed with her and hold her, kiss her until she understood the depths of his love for her.

"I'll be back to check on her in the morning," Zedd informed him, squeezing his grandson's shoulder. "Once I've had a chance to rest, I'll take care of that nasty gash on her head and the bruises, but for now she should be alright. I've managed to repair the worst of her injuries."

"Thank you, Zedd," he murmured, fighting back the thick swell of tears that had unexpectedly lodged in his throat. "I almost lost her again."

"But you didn't," he reminded him. "She is here with you and she will be fine. She's a fighter, Richard. She won't let something like this stop her from coming back to you."

Richard could only nod his head in acknowledgment as he slowly made his way towards the bed, exhaustion pulling heavily on him. He didn't bother to look back, knowing that Zedd had left. He paused beside her bed, reaching out to lightly run his fingers along her bruised cheek.

"I'm so sorry, Kahlan," he softly murmured as he stared at her. "I…I should have been there to stop them from hurting you."

Leaning over, he kissed her gently on the forehead before retreating to the other room to get cleaned up. He couldn't help but wonder how Chase was doing as he stripped off his dirty clothes, more than anxious to rid himself of the dirt as well as Kahlan's blood.

He hoped that when Chase caught Ahti that he didn't hesitate to remove his head from his shoulders. He would not rest until that wizard was dead, until he had joined Kao and Theon in the Underworld with the Keeper and Darken Rahl where he belonged.

Too much had happened in the last several days, far more than he cared to think about. He'd come too close to losing everything that he loved most. It was next to unbearable to even dwell on. He swore to himself he was going to do whatever it took to fix this, to keep his family safe with him where they always belonged.

He quickly washed up and changed into clean clothes before returning to Kahlan who was still the same way that he had left her. Crawling into bed next to her, he gently pulled her into his arms, burying his face in the crook of her neck.

He breathed her in, savoring every single beat of her heart, the steady rise and fall of her chest letting him know that she was still alive with him. He softly stroked her hair as he just lost himself in the feel of her, the storm of emotions that he'd been battling for so long rising to the surface once more.

The tears crept up on him, slowly leaking from the corners of his eyes and wetting her skin before the dam at last broke. Tears fell like a waterfall down his face and into her hair as he finally let go of the heartache, the anguish and fear, the guilt that he carried deep in his heart.

His body shook with his sobs as he held her close, clinging to her as if she was his only lifeline. He needed her like he needed air to breathe. She was his solace, the calming center in the eye of his storm. Without her, he didn't know who he was, lost his reason for waking every morning.

Without her, he was just a walking corpse.

He had no idea how long he lay there with her, crying until he had no more tears to shed, but sleep finally became too powerful to ignore as it took him away from his pain if but only for a little while.

XXX

Kahlan slowly became acutely aware of someone lying next to her, an arm wrapped firmly around her and keeping her where he wanted her. Panic and confusion swelled like a thunderhead inside of her, fearful that Kao was here, holding her down to hurt her. She had to stop him, get to her children.

She began to struggle against the hold on her; her breaths coming in ragged exerted pants as she fought to break free, her heart beginning to pound wildly in her chest as she tried to push him away from her. "No…no," she started to cry. "Stop!"

"Kahlan…it's alright. Open your eyes," Richard reassured her as he moved to sit up beside her. "It's me. You're safe now."

She obediently opened her eyes, finding Richard leaning over her, his hands cupping her face. "Richard?"

"I'm right here, Kahlan," he reassured her, his thumb brushing back and forth across her cheekbone.

"What happened?" she whispered.

"Kao and Theon are dead," he informed her. "They can't hurt you anymore."

Tears began to escape from the corners of her eyes, relief beginning to wash through her. Her eyes fell closed, fighting to control her emotions that were spiraling out of control, but it was beyond difficult after everything that had happened.

"Our children…where are they?" she demanded to know, panic causing her chest to clench.

"They're safe," he promised her. "The girls are with Frederick right now and Ayden is asleep in his room."

Kahlan relaxed against the pillows, her breathing still ragged as the tears continued to trickle down her cheeks. Her family was safe and Kao and Theon were dead. That was all that mattered in this world to her at that moment.

"Kahlan, I'm so sorry for what they did to you," he told her, studying her battered face that only fueled his fury. "I should have gotten to you sooner, kept you from having to go through that."

"It…it wasn't your fault," she murmured, closing her eyes against the dreadful memories.

Tendrils of fear snaked through Richard, terrified of what those two barbarians had done to his wife. "Did they…" he began, his voice suddenly breaking off, too afraid of what her answer would be.

"They touched me, but…no," she replied. "They didn't rape me."

"Kahlan…"

"It's alright, Richard. I'm fine now," she quickly attempted to reassure him, but her voice was anything but convincing. They had hurt her, violated her and there was nothing he could do to erase that.

"No, you're not, Kahlan," he stated, angry with himself for not being able to protect his own wife. "You couldn't be after what you've been through."

Tears continued to silently slip down her face, her eyes falling closed. She turned towards him, burying her face into his chest as she broke down in heart-rending sobs. Her fingers curled into his shirt, clutching it with all her strength as she clung to him for dear life.

"I…I couldn't stop them…" she sobbed, her words muffled by his shirt. "They touched me…and I couldn't stop them."

Richard tightened his arms around her, holding her close as he buried his face in her raven hair as he rubbed her back. He murmured his love for her, reassuring her and allowing her to release her anguish at that moment even though it was breaking his heart to see her like this, knowing what they had done to her.

He knew that he needed to tell her about losing Edmund in the fight to take back the palace, but now was not the time. She was too upset, been through too much to deal with the loss just yet. When she was a little stronger, he'd tell her. He'd hold her then too when the time came, comforting her and being there for her to lean on.

They had so much that they needed to talk about, so many things that he needed to tell her. He needed to explain why he had pushed her away like that after Michael's death, why he hadn't tried to stop her from going to Aydindril with Tristan.

He also had to tell her about kissing Nicci, knowing that he could lose her over it. Even though he'd been drinking heavily at the time, it was still no excuse for his actions, for trying to use Nicci to help erase the pain that had sat like a embittered thing in his chest.

He just prayed that she could find it in her heart to forgive him someday.