Authors note-I hate hate hate transition chapters, was reading last chapter as boring for you guys to read as it was for me to write? Why the whole horse dick thing got thrown in there I needed SOMETHING to laugh at, not to mention sad Nunnally and sober Charles were boring to write and its never happening again, I don't care if plot demands it I'll cheat my way through it somehow. Anyway this is a mixture of future world building and shenanigans, as to why the family is divulging this info freely Charles told them that his associates were already privy to it, I really didn't want to write two thousand words about suspicions and all that when I wanted hilarity to ensue.
On a note about the horse dick thing, this happened to me while traveling through Pittsburgh, drove by an old ramshackle building that was being gutted and apparently a Dothraki use to live there because all the paintings and furniture where of horses doing their thing to err...not horses. Anyway Milly's reaction was a direct quote from me at the time.
Honestly that was way more hilarious then I anticipated-Emperor Charles zi Britannia, day after Christmas
Governor's Palace English Isles December 24, 2019 A.T.B.
Kallen and Luluka where both suffering from the same horrific realization, their corsets did not fit, while normal pregnant woman might frown at this the two professional killers were for all intents and purposes livid.
"Absolute BULLSHIT! Seriously I become a fucking meatbag factory for nine months and I can't wear a fucking thing that looks remotely cute! FUCK!" Kallen stomped away from the mirror while her sister in law nodded in both agreement and approval of her language usage.
"Tell me about it, this is horsesh...errr...nevermind less said about horses the better, this is simply crap, I mean holy hell this is the first time we get to show off to the family annnnnd we're on our way to being whales," a giggle behind them announced their little sisters presence, turning around they saw the young woman swaying back and forth with a baseball bat held behind her back. The surprising part was the way she was dressed, torn stockings, combat boots, plaid skirt, Iron Maiden t-shirt and elbow length fingerless gloves, her hair was done up in high pigtails held with red ribbons, oh not to mention about two dozen nose and earings.
"Well shit babe you look punk as fuck," Luluka quipped, grinning back at her sisters Nunnally simply nodded,
"Yuppers! Last night Timeo told me to dress cute he was gonna take me clubbing, first time I've been out since we left Tokyo, was totes fun." Kallen smirked at her while motioning behind Nunnally's back,
"Annnnd the bat?" Blushing slightly she brought the dented aluminum bat out from behind her back while shyly replying,
"I may or may not have misinterpreted the meaning behind the word 'Clubbing', I'd rather not discuss it any further..." Luluko just nodded sagely while asking,
"And the bloody hair on said bat?" Her feral grin returned as she hopped up and down happily,
"Clubbing happened, when they found out I was sixteen (incidentally after I paid for my drink, jerks) they kicked us out, some balding middle age mother fucker grabbed my butt and said he could errr..."Do romping with a sex kitten," Timeo throat jabbed him then I cracked his skull open, by the way my boyfriend is adorkably protective." Shaking her head Kallen sighed out,
"Is the perv dead?" Looking confused for a second Nunnally cocked her head to the side and asked,
"What answer would get me in less trouble?" Rubbing her temples the redhead just turned back to the mirror trying to adjust her ball gown,
"So was Timeo dressed the same?" Glancing at the mirror she saw Nunnally make a swooning motion,
"No he totes went AC/DC and dressed in a schoolboy outfit with his hair gelled up into a mohawk...I'm going to kill Lelouch for swearing Timeo into celibacy by the way, the hypocrisy is astounding." Luluka broke out laughing at that while she was searching the dresser drawers for a pack of smokes to no avail,
"Why the fact he'd been fucking since he was fifteen or that he's sleeping with someone eight hundred eightyone years his senior?" Nunnally snorted while twirling a finger in the air,
"Pick one, anyway what evs I get to have fun with the family seeing me like this tomorrow, thinking about wearing my pink vest with my angel crest on it too, it'll be super awkward dad'll love it." The older women exchanged glances then shrugged, technically Nunnally had captured the place, she could do what she wanted, plus it might be funny.
Air Battleship Dreadnought
"You can't make me leave," the crown prince yelled as he hid behind his bed rifle in hand, Suzaku sighed at his brother as he contemplated how to disarm the frantic royal.
"Lou it can't be that bad, look Millicent's only been here a couple days the idea she has some how arranged some hideously embarrassing event is-" screaming Lelouch interrupted,
"COMPLETELY BELIEVABLE AND YOU FUCKING KNOW IT!" Sighing Suzaku leaned against the wall shaking his head,
"Lou...her grandpa's becoming Viceroy, do you honestly think she'd endanger his reputation for her own amusement?" Lelouch's hyperventilating slowed down and he took a deep breath, letting it out he stood up and clicked the rifles safety.
"Thanks Suzu...just with everything happening the idea of dealing with her crap again after two years..." Slapping the other man on the back cheerfully Suzaku grinned while saying,
"Don't worry man, Gino and Anya just got back, why don't we go get tanked with them while watching Princess Bride again?" Nodding Lelouch mumbled how that was a good idea and followed Suzaku out of the room.
Christmas Day, Governor's Palace ball room
Charles was on edge, his former conspirators turned potential long term allies had just arrived and split off to interview their targets, he had faith in the kids but this was a big deal, grumbling to himself about the crap wine he hadn't noticed Nunnally popping up beside him until she pecked him on the cheek.
"Hey sweetie! Hows it going! How did the fight for London go? Oh is this your boyfriend?" Looking to the blonde boy next to Nunnally the Emperor gave him a once over 'tall, handsome, braided ponytail, military dress uniform, armed to the teeth...yeah ok he'll do.' Marieanne laughed at this, god it was good to have her back even if he still felt like a creeper when she conversed with him in that body.
"Heyya daddy! I'm doing great I already gave Guinevere's mom a panic attack with my outfit, hilarious, and I totally kicked the shit out of a kraut super ace, she totes didn't see that coming, and yeah this is Timeo Lebeau, he's not allowed to touch me or Lelouch will melt his brain, its bullshit, so how are you?" Laughing at the answers and the now blushing boy Charles shrugged,
"Meh, little too sober for my liking, honestly these gatherings are so dry, my only enjoyment is watching Lelouch squirm while half his sisters try to get into his pants, it'd be hilarious if it wasn't so errr..." Timeo finished for him,
"Incestilicous?" Breaking out into a fit of laughs Charles nodded,
"Yes that, I know our family tree has some...ahem...knots in it but the amount of attention he's getting is kind of creepy...ah well." Nunnally was still beaming a smile at her dad when she swung a package out from behind her back, taking the brown paper wrapped parcel he quirked an eyebrow. "What this little one?" Hopping up and down clapping she squee'd,
"So the former governor totes surrendered this place to me, like its completely mine until I give it to Ruben, so we went exploring for some place to snog without getting caught when we found a booze cellar, check it out pops." Now very curious Charles unwrapped the package to find an ancient bottle in his hands, the green liquid inside sloshed a bit while Charles read the label, eyes widening he gasped,
"This...this is 1813 Pernod Absinthe! This...this..." Nunnally cackled and finished
"Is two hundred year old liquor from a period of time before they regulated the amount of thujone allowed for human consumption, its psychodellic booze daddy." Tears forming at the corner of his eyes he glanced at his favored daughter,
"How many?" She held up six fingers while snickering,
"Six cases, twelve bottles a case," Looking at the bottle in shock he ordered three glasses, a pitcher of water and three sugar cubes. Mixing the drinks he toasted the young couple and they downed their glasses, after a few minutes Nunnally was staring at the ceiling and quipped, "Funny, I never taught the Valkyrie how to do the Macarena on the ceiling." Timeo nodded while glancing at his girlfriend,
"So it ends up yellow tastes like pecans...who knew?" Charles snapped into clarity long enough to ask,
"Are the other bottles in the kitchen?!" Nunnally nodded, grinning he said "The punch hasn't been served yet...little one how much do you enjoy chaos?" Before he knew it both teenagers where pulling him up and the three of them sprinted unnoticed to induce change upon static boredom.
On the Floor
Lelouch was doing his best to mingle with his family and avoid getting hit on, something he thought wouldn't be an issue in the modern world, to be blunt he was freaking out a bit. Finally managing to separate himself from another group of incestuous sycophants he grabbed a beer from the cooler and downed it, hearing a giggle behind him he swung around and found himself facing the voluptuous form of his sister Maribelle. Shaking her head sadly she lithely walked up to him and leaned against the table,
"My my my, little Lelouch having to beat off the gnats to maintain his virtue...how ya do'in Black Prince?" Grinning at his third favorite half sister he replied,
"Oh you know pinky, starting rebellions, staying under the radar...avoiding family trying to screw me senseless...seriously I'm expecting banjos at this point." Busting out in laugher her outfit did nothing to hide her shaking chest, 'damn maybe I am messed up...'
"Hehe...anyway I just wanted to thank ya kindly, your tip off about the Garcia's was spot on, stopped a rebellion before it started, anyway I'm gonna go and tease Nelly about her boyfriends, toodles bro." As she sauntered off he heard a deep chuckle behind him, turning he found himself facing a middle eastern man with an incredibly impressive beard.
" That woman has it so hard for you its terrifying." Deciding not to fuel the fire by being indignant he turned away and muttered,
"How do you figure?" The older man guffawed again, collecting himself he turned towards the Prince,
"Well lemme think, shes the head of Britannia's Counter Insurgency Unit, you where the head of a rebellion that stood toe to toe with the Empire and you where both so damn good at your jobs neither knew the other existed. Hmm...you're considered the sexiest man alive by the tabloids, you're a strategic genius that just retook the mother isles and you're known for polygamy...yeah...yeah she totally wants to fuck your brains out sister or not, does this creep you a bit?" Too exhausted by the unending cycle of insanity that was his existance Lelouch dropped his head,
"The terrifying thing at this point? No, its been like this for over a year now and I doubt it will stop anytime soon, I have to just grin and bear it...ugh." The man bowed to him while chuckling again,
"Names Barbados, I and my compatriots are old friends of your father, he put us together as a diplomatic corps to cope with all your interesting little changes." Smiling Lelouch returned the bow as he grabbed another beer and downed it in seconds, Barbados cocked his head lightly at this. "I thought all you royals couldn't get drunk off those, your implants metabolism burned it up too fast or some such?" Grinning Lelouch raised a finger,
"Ends up my piece of shit uncle was in charge of the program to install our implants at conception, he'd purposefully set up the process to filter alcohol and other stimulants to be excessive since he was a petty little bastard, when we developed the L8 implants and started installing the Royalty grade models in Suzaku and Kallen we figured out it was just a software issue, whole lot of us have been upgraded and huzzah, I can drink like a normal person without looking like an alcoholic." With that he grabbed a glass of wine from a passing waiter and downed it,
"I can see that," Barbados laughed, leaning against the table he asked, "So out of curiosity does the man who planned to burn the world but instead ended up ruling it have faith in a higher power?" Mulling this question while munching on a crab cake Lelouch replied,
"Most of my childhood and teenage years I was a hard atheist, the crap we went through we all were, thats why Nunnally started the whole "By the old gods" thing, we had more faith in Lovecraft's creations then we did in any main stream religion, that is to say none." Grabbing another beer and enjoying the fact that he was already getting buzzed he continued, "As of now after a few...revelations I'd say I'm an apathetic agnostic, I'm open to their being a god but I don't rightly care since its either unwilling or incapable of effecting our lives." Humming a note the older man nodded,
"Understandable, I make noises about my faith now and then but honestly my viewpoint is similar, one way or another its our decisions that guide our paths, at the end we'll be judged for the road we took regardless so why bother worrying about it." Glancing over at the young man he grinned again, "I think...I think you and I are both going to have an awful lot to confess to when we pass no?" Chuckling Lelouch finished his third beer and returned the grin,
"You know those cartoons when they unroll a paper and he keeps going? I'm expecting that, but it'll be worth it, I'll drag humanity off this rock even if I have to force it to progress kicking and screaming." Cocking an eyebrow the old man said,
"Oh? Tell me more."
In the Kitchen
Kallen was discussing the future of Stadtfeld industries with one of her father in laws associates while they headed to the kitchens to perform the most sacred of duties, spiking the punch for their own entertainment, this seemed to amuse Adebola so she insisted on following.
"So anyhow having four mad scientists with multiple overlapping fields of expertise at our disposal we've already progressed cybernetic enhancements by a couple decades in less then a year, the L8's just came out but we're already developing the L9 model which will be using nanites rather then nanobots, the results so far are...astounding." The dark skinned woman cocked her head while asking,
"Whats the difference between the two, I hear them interchanged often," Nodding Kallen continued,
"Nanobots are literal machines, microscopic robots, nanites are as well but they're protein based and much smaller, their composition means the human body can actually fabricate more on its own without having to get a yearly booster and their smaller size means they can do all sorts of crazy shit, like fix the natural fraying of DNA strands. Within the next year or two we're pretty sure we can effectively cure mortality." The other woman stopped dead in her tracks eyes widening,
"You can give a normal person immortality?!" Kallen shook her hand hesitantly,
"Kinda sorta, its effectivally going to be like immortality, no aging or sickness, but things like car accidents, getting ventilated by a machinegun, getting brained with a potted plant and the like will still kill you. Our end goal is after we do some cleanup in the populace with gene therapy, you know get rid of nearsightedness, sickle cell enemia, cancer and the like we'll freely give the implant system out as part of the mandatory two years of military service when you hit eighteen. Once most of our people are effectively invulnerable to wear and tear we'll be colonizing the Sol system like a hobo on a ham sandwich."
"Wow...that's...wow" The young woman actually looked stunned at this revelation, Kallen shrugged a bit and carried on,
"Well its like this, philanthropic work is what helped me justify the chaos we caused in rebelling, when we went legit it felt like I was giving something back to the people for how my life turned out. And well...there's someone special in Lelouch and my life that has been alone for a very long time, this way we can keep her company for awhile, I admit I can be a bit selfish while being giving," Laughing a bit at this she didn't notice the sly smirk that passed on the Nigerian woman's face. As they approached the kitchen door they heard mad cackling through the thick wood panels, cracking the door they saw...insanity in the making.
"Yes, yes, YES add that it'll cover the green color! Hehe...Timeo grab those cans of pineapple, Nunnally gimme another bottle of the good stuff." Her father in law was standing over the massive punch bowl with a large spoon in hand as he was stirring in what looked like a radioactive green liquid. Both woman carried bemused expressions as they walked up to the trio, picking up the bottle Kallens eyes bugged out,
"Is this centuries old Absinthe!?" Startled the three jumped up shocked, upon seeing who it was they all broke out laughing as Nunnally held up a half full glass,
"You will taste the rainbow all the way down! This shit made Van Gogh cut off his own ear he drank so much of it, we're going to invite the chaos god to dinner!" Adebola's eyes widened again as she put it together,
"You're going to get your entire family drunk and high on hallucinogens?" The three of them nodded while smiling, glancing over to Kallen she saw her texting a few of her favored family members with 'Watch out for punch its a Nunnally and Dad special' and hitting send.
"Yeah...yeah thats what they're doing, wanna go get a balcony seat this outta be good?" Her compatriot busted out in laughter nodding.
Back at the party
Suzaku and Cornelia were chit chatting with one of his father in laws associates as they did their best to avoid the rest of the royal family, they still treated him a bit coldly and Cornelia simply disliked them.
"So anyway with some research Luluka and Lelouch lifted off those who no longer needed it Cornelia and I started a program to develop a cybernetic interface between a war machine and the human brain." Dudley nodded looking impressed,
"You'd still need to have talent to run the machine but your reaction time time would be close to zero yes?" Cornelia grinned viciously,
"Even better, so long as they have at the least nobilty level implants it will be a direct link, you think about moving your hand, the machine will move its hand, Nunnally volunteered-" Suzaku coughed out "demanded" causing his sister in law to snort, "Yes demanded to be the first to test it, she was a formidable pilot at first, now she's...well she's living up to her machines name, we're hoping it will eventually become standard issue." The redhaired man grinned widely,
"Wow, thats...you people have certainly been busy," Suzaku nodded and smirked,
"Yeah then there's the powered armor, that was Cornelia's baby she had a whole stack of designs and specs written on napkins that she handed to Lloyd with the simple order of "Make it awesome," Cornelia smirked at this,
"And he soooo did, we need something inbetween infantry and Knightmares, and the deployment method Tohdoh came up with...it will be marvelous." The young man shook his head ruefully at this,
"Your father let us in on alot of this but not the details, its truley amazing what you lot came up with given free reign." Suzaku grunted in agreement munching on his chips as his wife made her way towards them being trailed by an elderly asian woman, grinning he walked up to the bundle of frustrated femininity and kissed her, she growled out,
"There is booze fucking everywhere Suzu, everywhere and I can't have a drop of it, this hellspawn better be the coolest baby ever or I'll choose to love the next one more." This caused the group to laugh but she looked deathly serious, at once the three family members phones vibrated. Glancing up Suzaku saw that Schneizal, Maribelle, Odyesseus, and Lelouch all pulled theirs out as well, looks of fear and grins of anticipation were seen.
Pulling out his own phone and reading the message he closed his eyes and sighed, turning back his wife he distinctly heard Maribelle say, "Gotta get a camera" as she hurriedly made her way past them.
"Ok dear...shall we get a balcony seat?" Her grin stretched ear to ear.
Hopefully the end result of all this will be up by Saturday, hope you enjoyed it my friends, as always please review.
Edit: HOLY SHIT! We passed the 100,000 word mark, never wrote anything this long before *happy dance*