Sorry for all the issues, I had some computer issues.
The list that Bail had given me on my last visit continued to haunt me. The names of Jedi, my family, even those I didn't know, made it hard for me to turn away. Aayla and I had gone through the list, looking for the people closest to us.
There was no list of the clones…no way for me to find out if any of my brothers from the 501st had escaped, survived, or worse, become storm troopers. I desperately wished that there were a way to find out, just to know if any of our brothers could be saved. But the Empire didn't care. I found that, instead, the Empire was exactly like the Republic in one way. To them, the clones weren't people; they were nothing but a bunch of flesh-covered droids.
Hearing Plo coo, I automatically looked down and stroked his head with my free hand. He sat in my lap, curiously looking at the different-colored texts on the pad. I knew that he was too young to understand or even really differentiate between them, but they seemed to keep him entertained while I read.
"Bail is ready for you," Shaeeah smiled as she walked into the room, putting her lipstick away in her bag. "Plo and I have a date," she cooed, holding out her hands to take him.
I sighed, lifting Plo up to her. "The sooner we do this, the better. The more quickly it's done, the more quickly we can go home."
Shaeeah laughed, taking Plo into her arms and kissing his cheek. "Mama's so old," she whispered to Plo. She laughed even harder as I scowled at her before she turned back to Plo. "Wanna go play in the garden?" Plo nodded as he pointed at the door.
"He doesn't need to be told twice, does he?" I laughed, getting up.
"Ahsoka," Bail greeted solemnly, rising from his desk and striding over to me. "You remember Barriss Offee, don't you?"
Barriss stood by the window, her gracefully tall figure outlined by the soft glow of Alderaan's sunset. I now understood why Bail had come to stand beside me. I leaned against him heavily as my knees began shaking and head suddenly felt light. After all this time…the closest thing that I had to a childhood friend was standing in front of me again. How is it even possible, I wondered, knowing that my disbelief must have been sending a tidal wave through the surrounding Force.
Almost as if she could hear me, Barriss answered. "Kix saved me," she whispered, her soft voice making my heart pound into my chest. How was it even possible? She strode across the room, her long purple sundress trailing out behind her. Her eyes were full of tears. "Chopper helped as well."
As she came closer, I automatically pulled back, remembering some of the old Temple stories I'd heard about ghosts in the empty corridors. How was it that I could see her, but I couldn't feel her? Was she just a part of the void, of the black, seething emptiness that the Force had become?
"Ahsoka, look at me," she whispered, gently touching my face. "They put Force cuffs on me, to prevent my being found," she explained, guiding my hands down to the small metal loops around her wrists. "That's why we couldn't find or feel each other."
Barriss led me over to the couch, sitting me down and staring at me for a moment. She ran a hand along a montral before gently stroking my lekku. She always had known how to reorient me. "Are you okay?" she asked, flipping my wrist over and checking my pulse.
"Just…shocked. You were listed among the dead," I whispered, unsure.
"Kix made sure to add me to the list before he and Chopper switched their gear with some of the fallen clones. They knew that they wouldn't check…they'd just be burned along with the others," Barriss explained, voice wavering. "Your men saved my life, Ahsoka."
My mind was racing; my earlier disbelief returned in full force. Surely it wasn't possible. Suddenly I wondered whether or not those cuffs on Barriss even worked, for she seemed to sense my confusion. She turned my head to face her, forcing me to look at her. Her face hadn't aged a day since our last meeting. Her eyes looked tired, though, full of stress and uncertainty. Her hair was no longer hidden under her hood and robes, and it had grown out past her shoulders.
"Bail told me Aayla had escaped," Bariss smiled softly. I looked around, noticing that Bail was no longer in the room.
"He left to give us privacy," Kix spoke up for the first time. He was standing by Chopper, who was dressed in total black, almost like he was trying to blend in.
"Aayla and Bly escaped," I whispered as Barriss softly stroked my lekku, sending waves of comfort through me.
"Where were you?" I asked, my courage returning as I became more acclimated to the situation.
"Naboo," Barriss answered, looking down at her dress. "A small cottage on Naboo, very remote…almost perfect."
"Almost?" I asked, wary of her answer. If the Empire had any doubts that she was dead….
"One of Bail's guards recognized me, and he brought Bail to our hideaway," Barriss explained, biting her lip before looking up at me. "Bail told us about the Rebellion and that there was an entire base of former clones on Tattooine, trying to make up for their mistakes. Kix and I found some refuge in their medical unit. But the base wasn't safe for Chopper…too many bad memories. After a month of trying to make it work, Chopper only got worse." I turned to look at Chopper, who had suddenly found the view outside fascinating and had stridden over to the window.
"Chopper doesn't do medical units," I smiled softly, sending Chopper reassurance though the Force, trying to remind him that he would always be safe around me. His stance relaxed somewhat, even though he didn't turn to face me. Small steps.
"That's why I asked Bail if he had something else," Barriss admitted. "He told me of a decent-sized farm being run by clone deserters and their wives. He told me Aayla was at the farm."
"We both are," I chuckled.
"How did you escape? You basically lived with your men in the GAR," Barriss asked.
"I fell asleep in Master's apartments that night, not like he used it anyways," I muttered. "Rex saved me and took me to Saleucami, where a few years earlier he had met Cut and his wife Suu. Cut was a clone deserter in the early years of the war," I explained. I looked over to find that both Kix and Chopper were now listening with interest.
"Saleucami?" Kix asked, remembering, as he moved to my side. "Where Rex was shot in the chest?"
"The woman that allowed you to use her barn, that was Suu," I smiled gently. "Cut's her husband."
"And Rex didn't report him?" Kix asked, doubtful.
"No. Cut had his reasons to leave," I explained. "Aayla, Bly, and Fives are with us as well." Chopper perked up slightly, eager to hear about his old friend. Although they had never worked together, I knew that Chopper and Fives had become friends during some of their rare downtime. "And, of course, the children and younglings."
"Younglings?" Barriss asked, her eyes lighting up.
"Three younglings," I smiled. "Their names are Nara, Neno, and Angel. Aayla brought them back to the farm. As well as…" I trailed off, not sure how Barriss would respond when she heard about the twins. She had always been so traditional.
"What is it?" Barriss asked, squeezing my hand gently.
"There will be more. Aayla's pregnant," I said softly.
"Pregnant?" Bariss repeated, looking shocked. I nodded, smiling uncertainly. "Aayla. Pregnant." Barriss repeated again, her mouth turning up into a small smile.
"Twins," I nodded, looking over at Chopper. He was standing by the window again, studying the scenery. I squeezed Barriss' hand before standing and making my way over to Chopper.
"You okay?" I whispered, standing by his side. I could feel his heartbreak through the Force, and it was incredibly difficult not to reach out and try to comfort him. But I knew Chopper; he needed to make the first move. Chopper bit his lip, watching the leaves on the trees sway in the breeze.
"Chopper?" I whispered again, placing myself between him and the glass. Chopper looked up at me, tears spilling out of his eyes.
"It's okay," I crooned, placing my hands against his scarred face and wiping the tears away. Chopper suddenly pulled me against his chest, hugging me tightly as he broke down. Although his embrace was almost painful, I simply laced my arms around his neck and stroked his head. Chopper had always been the silent one, the one who tried to be too strong and take on the weight of the universe alone.
"It's okay," I comforted, patting his head softly and kissing his temple. "It's okay." Chopper pulled me closer, his chest still vibrating as he sobbed. After awhile, he nodded against my shoulder, and his grip relaxed somewhat, although he didn't let go. Over Chopper's shoulder, I smiled at Kix and held out my hands. He made his way over and squeezed them, smiling. A few tears spilled out of his eyes, and he gently kissed my hands.
"We thought we'd lost you, vod'ika," he murmured. Tears spilled out of my eyes, and suddenly it was hard to breathe.
"You're all coming home with me, aren't you?" I asked Barriss, voice wavering.
"Are you sure we're allowed?" Bariss asked, unsure, before making her way over to me. Chopper let me go at her approach and moved away, letting us face each other.
"Always," I assured her. "Family is always allowed."
Leia's soft giggle turned my attention to the porch outside. Bail must have left the door open by accident. "Do you want to meet someone special?" I smiled, taking Barriss' hand. I brought the small group out to the garden where Shaeeah sat on a bench, watching the children as the palace gardeners tended their work. Little Plo wandered around, looking at the different flowers and even picking a few of the ones he liked.
"Who is that?" Kix asked, wary, as Plo rushed over to us after seeing me.
"Hello, handsome," I cooed, kneeling down and kissing Plo's cheek before I picked him up. "Want to meet some more uncles?" I asked softly. Plo nodded as he patted my montral softly. "Plo, this is Aunt Barriss, Uncle Kix, and Uncle Chopper. Guys, this is Plo, my son."
Barriss' mouth dropped open; Chopper's face broke into a disbelieving grin; and Kix stared mutely before bursting out into laughter. "Mama?" Plo babbled uncertainly, looking at me. Why did these men have Daddy's face?
"Daddy's brothers," I smiled as Plo chewed on his hand, nervous.
Kix, who had finally recovered from his fit, came forward and took Plo's hand out of his mouth. "Let me guess…Rex's son?" Kix smirked, tapping Plo on the nose.
"Rex's son biologically, Fives' by adoption," I smiled as Plo reached for Kix. The medic looked warily between the toddler and me.
"He doesn't bite," I laughed, holding out my baby. "At least, not very hard." Kix grinned as he took Plo. "Just keep your fingers away from his mouth," I warned.
"He's yours?" Barriss giggled.
"Rex did help," I laughed as she walked over to inspect Plo.
"Hey little guy," Bariss said softly. Plo reached out for her, eager for more attention. Barriss took him and held him against her hip, whispering sweet nonsense into his ears. Chopper, I noticed, was trying to move away. His earlier mirth had worn off, and for some reason, he now looked horrified. I grabbed his hand before he could escape.
"He has your face," Barriss smiled as Plo reached for her hair. Barriss grabbed his hand, shaking it softly. "And his daddy's eyes."
"They are," I smiled, tapping Plo's nose as he looked at Chopper.
"Up!" Plo demanded, reaching out to the terrified clone.
"No, I cant!" Chopper insisted, stepping back quickly.
"No, I got you," Bariss cooed, petting Plo's hair. Plo giggled, already falling in love with her.
I squeezed Chopper's hand to reassure him. "Fives had a hard time getting used to the children as well. Don't worry; they are very accepting."
"How old is he?" Kix asked, inspecting Plo.
"Almost a year and a half now," I smiled. Plo began purring, obviously loving all the attention.
"What are those bumps on his head?" Chopper asked.
"Lekku," I smiled softly as Kix looked at them. "They will grow along with him."
"Do they hurt?" Chopper asked, concerned. He had always been the one most concerned if one of his brothers was in pain.
"No." I shook my head. "They're just like mine, Chopper. They are sensitive, but unless you injure them, they don't hurt."
"Will they grow as long as yours?" Chopper asked, hesitantly touching Plo's lekku.
"I don't know," I shrugged. "We'll have to wait and see."
Chopper continued to be wary of Plo, keeping his distance throughout the night. Once I had placed Plo in bed beside his sleeping cousin, I left to check on the boys. Barriss had retired into the bathroom, eager to use the large tub. I suspected she would be awhile.
"I shouldn't be around children," Chopper suddenly rasped from where he sat on the bed. I turned, somewhat startled. Chopper's voice was very rough; it was like listening to a trooper that had just come out surgery try to speak. Barriss had told me that Chopper had gotten a throat infection, one that had gone untreated for far too long. It had left his vocal chords with permanent damage.
"Why?" I asked, sitting down beside him. Hopefully this time he wouldn't shut me out.
"Scars," he barked, looking away. I took a deep breath as I looked him over. His older scars had healed slightly since the last time I'd seen him. But his hair would never grow properly from all the damage done to his head. Unlike Fives, he couldn't hide those scars. There was also no way to hide his facial scars; they were just too extensive. At least his blind eye didn't look any worse; for that I was thankful.
"We've had this talk before, Chopper," I whispered, winding an arm around his shoulders. "Everyone has scars. Everyone has things that they're ashamed of. Don't worry about your scars," I spoke softly. "This war has been hard on all of us."
"What happened with you? How did you escape?" Kix asked, sitting down on Chopper's other side.
Chopper said nothing as I laid my head in his lap. "Rex and I got away before most of the madness begin. Aayla, Bly, and Rex found Fives in the medical unit of the base. He was under supervision, and they brought him home. Fives didn't do so well in the beginning; before he was saved, he had been forced to do things…horrible things. He still cries over those memories on bad nights."
I took Chopper's chin and angled it down, forcing him to look at me. "Fives has facial scars too, a broken nose that never healed properly. He also has whipping marks on his back; although thankfully the children don't seem to realize what they are." Chopper cringed above me at the mention of his friend's suffering. "The older children, Shaeeah and Jekk, figured out some of what he had been through. They asked me to help them understand, so they could help their uncle. Fives suffers from nightmares…well, most of us suffer from nightmares." I shook my head, noting that my reflection in Chopper's eyes was crying.
"We all have nightmares. Fives and you both have suffered hugely because of this war, your abuse at Slick's hands, and Fives' time in the detention building. Rex lost his men, his bothers. Bly was forced to kill his brothers to save Aayla. We are all recovering. Rex and I have been working with Fives to help him, and we will do the same for you," I promised Chopper, laying my head on his shoulder as he cuddled me like I did Plo sometimes.
"You're my ori'vod, Chopper, my big brother," I reminded him, wiping my eyes as I spoke. "I am happy you've made it home. You'll both love the farm. It's hard work, early mornings, and occasionally late nights. Rex, Bly, Cut, and Fives start their day before the sun is up, taking their morning run before heading out to work in the field all day. With Aayla due in the next few weeks, one brother is always home to help us if we need it," I smiled softly. "I don't know what happens in the fields, but I know they occasionally have target practice out there. They've also made a small makeshift gym in the barn for the rainy days when running isn't an option.
Usually, the boys are back before dinner, which allows them to have time with the children and help with the smaller chores around the house. After dinner, one of the brothers takes the kids so Aayla and I can practice with our lightsabers. Rex has also gotten pretty good it, especially since Aayla's been pregnant," I chuckled. Kix shook his head and laughed. "We've been trying to keep the children from learning about the war and the Empire's activities. They are so innocent, too innocent to have to learn about that yet. They only know that they can't use the Force without our supervision. They don't know anything about the darker side of things, and we'd prefer to keep it that way."
"What about my fits?" Chopper asked nervously, looking over at Kix.
"Fits?" I repeated, pulling away slightly so I could turn to Kix.
"Chopper's brain damage has been causing seizures lately," Kix sighed. Chopper's grip on me loosened, and he looked away.
"How bad are they?" I asked.
"Mostly quiet; you almost never notice them," Kix explained. "Chopper just stares off into space most of the time."
"We'll deal with them," I promised. "We can figure something out." Chopper's grip on me tightened; he actually trusted me. "What causes them?" I asked, gently tightening my grip around his arm.
"There is no concrete trigger, but Chopper knows the signs before he gets one," Kix said. "His speech gets worse; his vision becomes blurry, and his eyes glaze over; and sometimes he experiences short-term memory loss afterwards. A migraine can cause Chopper to drop and lose all control."
"What can I do to help?" I asked, unsure, never having dealt with such a condition before.
"Just get the kids out of the room. The last thing we need is for them to be scared of me," Chopper rasped, his body going rigid with fear at the thought.
"Done. Anything else?" I asked, gripping his arm more tightly.
"Sleep," Chopper chuckled, petting a montral gently. "You're tired, vod'ika. No more talking."
"So it's just like old times? I have to be squished between you two again?" I laughed softly.
"If it stops him from screaming at night, it's worth it," Kix said, pushing his bed closer to Chopper's. "It's been a long time since he's allowed me to sleep a full night."
"Bariss hasn't help?" I asked, surprised.
"She's not you," Kix sighed as Chopper slowly drifted off to sleep. "She did her best, but she was never you."
"Mama." The small but demanding voice woke me from a dream. As I looked down, I could see Plo standing there at the foot of the bed. Even in the darkness, I could make out his angry face as he glared at me, his mouth set in a pout.
"How did you get in here?" I asked quietly, trying to wiggle out from between the two ridiculously solid clones. Plo pointed at the door connecting the rooms, which was standing wide open. Barriss must have forgotten to shut it when she went to sleep.
"Mommy's stuck," I sighed, trying to find a way to dislodge Chopper's arms from around my waist without waking him up. Now I remembered what it had been like in the GAR, when I had basically been a huge stuffed bunnyflop for my men. Chopper moaned in his sleep and tightened his grip. Perfect. "Looks like you're gonna have to come up here," I snickered.
Plo apparently didn't like that idea, since he growled slightly. Through the Force, I could tell that he was hungry, wet, and angry with me. I reached over and brushed his hair softly, trying to figure out how to get off the bed. Chopper was still holding me close, both arms around my waist and one leg hooked between mine. Honestly, did I look like a pillow?
"What's wrong?" Kix murmured, voice thick with sleep as he turned on the bedside lamp.
"I think Plo's jealous," I giggled. "I can't get up, and Chopper's got a good grip on me."
Kix laughed softly, "What can I do?"
"Untangle me from Chopper?" I guessed before shaking my head. "No, I don't want him to wake up alone. Can you take Plo? He's hungry and wet."
"Hungry?" Kix said, getting out of bed. "Snack time?" Plo whipped his head around. Finally, he was getting what he wanted. "Let's see what's in the kitchen," Kix told Plo, who didn't even look back at me; he just waddled over to his new best friend.
"I'll place him in bed beside you when we're done," Kix whispered.
"Do you know how to change a diaper?" I asked, laying my head back down on the pillow.
"Same as an adult's, right?" Kix shrugged. "Shouldn't be an issue."
"Good luck," I snorted, closing my eyes.