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Chapter 34: Til Death Do Us Part

Year: 2183CE

Location: SSV Normandy SR-1 Bridge

"And then I told her, 'Hey, I was at the battle of the Citadel too. I was flying the Normandy, leading the entire fleet into the battle!' AND she still wouldn't comp my drinks," Joker finished his story with a huff. "Should have brought Shepard with me to vouch for my story. Everybody listens to her."

Still in his armor from the most recent trip down to the surface, Kaidan had opted to stay to keep the pilot company for a while. It had proven to be quite entertaining. "Why didn't you?" Kaidan asked from the co-pilot seat, keeping a straight face.

Joker raised an eyebrow at him. "What do you think? Shepard went MIA."

It had become increasingly hard to hold back that smile. "She did?"

The pilot shot him a sideways glance. "Pfft. Don't give me that shit, Alenko. I know you were with her. You both went missing, doesn't take a genius to put the two and two together. And no, I don't want to know what you did. Unless, you know... if you want to share some stories, then I can't stop you."

Kaidan kept his mouth shut and allowed that hint of smirk to show as he focused on the panels in front of him. Perhaps he should leave right now before the other man started pressing on that particular topic. He needed to have a debriefing with Shepard, then head back to his post to make sure all the systems were running at optimal levels. But the commander was with Dr. Chakwas right now, he had a moment. After all, no one was in hurry these days. Their missions of eradicating the Geth had been uneventful. He would even call it boring, but after what they had been through in the last few months, boring was a nice change of pace.

Kaidan noticed the pilot was studying him not-so subtly. It shouldn't take too long for Joker to start pressing. Kaidan started a mental count down. Three, two, one-

"So, anything interesting happened during shore leave?" asked Joker with a sly grin.

"Nothing." He made sure his tone was flat.

"Nothing, huh? That's funny. You know, I asked Shepard that same question earlier, and guess what she said?" Joker turned to Kaidan with his best Shepard impersonation which consisted of a slight raised of his eyebrow and a cool stare. "'Nothing.'"

Kaidan's smirk widened.

"Come on, what do you think I am? Blind?" Joker rolled his eyes with a snort. "Shepard's practically a walking light bulb with the way she's been glowing ever since she came back. And you keep having that grin on your face whenever she's around. So a whole bunch of nothings going on? Right... 'Nothing' must be good, huh?"

Not taking that bait, Kaidan continued to deny the pilot the pleasure of getting intimate details of his shore leave with Shepard. The only response he gave the other man was a light chuckle.

Green eyes narrowed at him. "Fine. It's a small ship. Someone's bound to see something and talk one of these days, and I'll be the first to know."

Kaidan shook his head with a smirk, recalling one of the many jokes the pilot had said in the past. "Right, because you're the overlord of the Normandy."

"Overseer," Joker corrected him as his fingers danced all over the consoles, preparing to drop out of FTL. Somehow, he was able to spare a second to tap at the monitor showing security footage of the entire ship. "I see everything. Shepard is the overlord."

And there was the familiar subtle shift.

Joker suddenly switched to the utmost professional tone. "Disengaging FTL drives. Emission sinks active. Board is green, we're running silent."

"All yours, Joker." Kaidan stood from the co-pilot seat with a stretch. "I should go change before the debriefing with the... er 'overlord'."

"All right, say hi to the missus for me."

It took Kaidan a fraction of a second to realize whom Joker was referring to. But once he did, he could no longer hide a grin; he loved that sound of that a little too much. "I don't know what you're talking about," Kaidan claimed innocently, trying to keep a straight face but failed miserably.

The pilot flashed a knowing smirk. "Sure you don't."

"Picking up something on the long range scanner," a crew nearby informed them. "Unidentified vessel. Looks like a cruiser."

"Cruiser?" Kaidan frowned. Curious, he sat back down and checked the sensors.

"Doesn't match any known signatures," said Joker after checking on his console.

"Cruiser is changing course. Now on intercept trajectory."

"Geth?" That was his first guess. Kaidan checked the panels in front of him and shook his head. "Can't be... The stealth system is engaged. There's no way any ship could possibly-"

Joker's eyes widened at the monitor. "It's not the Geth! BRACE FOR EVASIVE MANEUVER!"

The Normandy took an abrupt turn to avoid the beam, yet even Joker's maneuver wasn't enough. The Normandy shook violently, knocking Kaidan out of his chair. Sounds of explosions and screams were heard behind him as he regained his balance. The unthinkable had happened; the ship had suffered a direct hit.

And then came another one.

Kaidan immediately checked the systems. "Multiple haul breaches! Weapons offline!" He felt the heat from the flame from behind. "SOMEBODY GET THAT FIRE OUT!"

There was nothing but pure chaos in the next few seconds as the ship was fired upon again and again.

"SHIT SHIT SHIT!" Joker's hands moved fast across all the consoles. Yet, no matter how fast his reaction time was, the Normandy could never seem to outrun the attack.

No, we can't die here! Kaidan stumbled to get up. "We won't last much longer, Joker! We have to leave!"

"NO!"

"Call for evacuation, now!"

"I won't leave the Normandy! I can save her!" the pilot insisted. "Go get Shepard!"

Kaidan was tempted to knock the pilot out cold and dragged him away from his post, but he refrained. His first and most important priority was to locate Shepard.

And when he turned and headed down to the CIC, the sight of the destruction stopped him in his tracks. The Normandy, the place he had called home, the place where he had met her, was now falling apart piece by piece. By his rough estimate, they couldn't sustained more than a few rounds of attack.

Kaidan rushed down the hall. Shepard was nowhere in sight.

"Where's the commander?!" he asked.

"The commander was still in the Med Bay when I left," said Dr. Chakwas as she was helping a crew who had suffered injuries on his face.

Kaidan hurried down to find Shepard and almost stumbled down the stairs when the Normandy suffered yet another hit.

The once orderly and pristine ship was now in absolute chaos. Severely burned bodies scattered across the path, all dead. Kaidan had to jump over bodies of the crew he had been working with for months, but he had successfully compartmentalized all his emotions well enough. Right now, he had to focus on the ship and survival.

At least he thought he had his emotions in check, until he finally found her.

Standing among the fire and destruction, in front of a console, was the captain of the ship. Her armor was protecting her from the scotching heat.

The instant relief he felt was overwhelming. "Aerin!"

There was a harsh scowl lingered on her face when Shepard turned around. She was infuriated by the attack, he could tell. But Shepard's stone cold expression softened immediately when her eyes landed on him. "Kaidan, you okay?"

"Yeah. Multiple haul breaches, casualties on both levels," he reported quickly. "The ship won't hold for much longer."

"I've launched the distress beacon."

"Will the Alliance get here in time?"

Another hit. They stumbled but held onto each other. "They'd better be." Shepard frowned. "I'm not going to die here. I want the heads of those bastards who are attacking my ship!"

"I'm with you-"

Pipes next to them suddenly burst into flame. His reflex took over; Kaidan held up a biotic shield instantly to protect them from the explosion.

Shepard grabbed an extinguisher and put out the fire nearby. "We need to evacuate."

"Joker's still on the cockpit. He won't abandon the ship."

"Damn it!" Shepard's brows tightened further. "Get the crew to the escape shuttles. I'll take care of Joker."

Kaidan shook his head with a scowl and protested, "No! I'm not leaving you!"

"I'll be fine." She reached for his arm in a comforting gesture. "I need you to get everyone to the shuttles, then help Chakwas once you land."

Before he could come up with a better option, another explosion shook the ship, tearing them apart. "Aerin!"

Shepard held up a hand as she got back to her feet. "Kaidan, go. Now."

Every fiber of his being demanded him to stay with her, urging him to protect the woman he loved. But there was a tiny voice inside his head reminding him of his duty as the officer of the ship. For once, just this once when it came to Shepard, his head won the battle against his heart.

"Please be careful," he told her, fighting an inexplicable impulse to disobey a direct order.

Sharp gaze softened when she looked into his eyes very briefly. "I'll see you soon."

Reluctantly, Kaidan turned and carried out the last order Shepard had issued on the SSV Normandy.

Retrieving the helmet from her cabin was more difficult than she had thought. The door had been jammed and Shepard could barely squeeze in through the gap. Taking one last look at the room she had stayed in the past months, a home away from home, the anger inside her burned hotter than the flame around her. Her ship was destroyed, her crew killed or injured, and whoever was responsible for this would die a slow painful death.

Murderous feeling aside, first thing first, she had to get the hell out of here. Cursing under her breath, Shepard hurried to get her pilot.

The upper deck was destroyed beyond recognition. Bulkheads torn, the CIC was reduced to nothing but its metal frame. Pieces of the ship and its equipments floated in space. The magnets on Shepard's boots grounded her to the ship's main body as she moved towards the cockpit, walking as fast as she could in the zero-gravity environment. The escape shuttle was by the airlock was their one and only ticket out of this mess. And she had to move fast before the next around of attacks. One more hit and the Normandy would be gone.

Miraculously, the cockpit was still in tact and sealed by the mass effect field. Her sigh of relief echoed loudly inside her helmet.

Shepard rushed to the pilot as soon as she was able to. "Come on, Joker! We have to get out of here!"

"NO! I won't abandon the Normandy!" Joker insisted. "I can still save her!"

"Don't throw away your life like this! The Normandy is lost, going down with the ship won't change that!" Shepard put a hand on the pilot's helmet to force him to look at her. Sharp blue eyes bore into distressed green ones. "If we died here, we would never get those bastards who dare to attack us. Retreat, Joker, now!"

Joker broke the gaze then nodded in resignation. "...You're right. Okay... Help me up." The pilot suddenly tensed as he glanced at the panel. "Shit! They're coming around for another attack!"

"Let's go!" Shepard put his arm around her shoulders and lifted him up by his waist.

"OUCH! Watch the arm!" Joker winced. "Promise we'll get those bastards."

"We will," Shepard vowed as she half-carried, half-dragged her pilot to the shuttle. "I'll make them pay for what they've done to us."

Step by step, they inched closer to the last escape shuttle. The mass effect field was still holding. If they hurried, she could launch it in time before the next attack.

"Come on!" Shepard shoved Joker through the opening into the shuttle then readied to jump into it herself.

But a sudden loud combustion hit the cockpit. The ground shook violently underneath her, tossing her away from the shuttle like a rag doll. The mass effect field that had been sealing the cockpit was fading rapidly, causing a sudden shift in air pressure. Shepard grabbed onto the ship before the momentum flung her further out.

SHIT!

Her fingertips barely hanged onto the frame of the ship, fighting against the force that was sucking her into the dark void outside. If she could get her boots to the metal wall... But the vacuum was too strong, Shepard couldn't even lift her legs.

"Commander!"

Then came another explosion, dislodging her grip. Shepard froze in panic, but recovered in time to brush her fingertips on the button to launch the escape shuttle before she was blown away by the current.

"COMMANDER!" Joker screamed in sheer terror. "SHEPARD!"

The next blast propelled her further into the dark space, away from her ship, away from her only way out.

SSV Normandy SR-1, the ship that had been her home, the place where she had forged a few unbreakable bonds, exploded right in front of her eyes.

With luck, Shepard dodged the massive debris flying along her side, until something hit her back and bounced her off.

Adrenaline rushed through her veins; cold sweats formed on her skin; her chest heaved with shallow breaths that were all too loud to her ears. But Shepard forced herself to take a deep breath to clear her head, taking a second to come up with an escape plan.

The beacon had been sent, the Alliance would be here. She just needed to hang in there long enough for them to search for her. But to locate for her in dark space would be harder than finding a needle in haystack. Shepard willed herself to focus, then reached for her omni-tool to send a distress signal and run it on a loop. Anything that would increase her chance of being found in time before she ran out of air or froze to death.

Then, a morbid thought came to her unguarded mind: What if the rescue team arrived too late?

Shut up, Shepard. Elysium, Ilos, Citadel, you survived all those. You'll make it.

But, what if...

What if...

Shepard tapped on the recording device on her omni-tool and began, "This is Lieutenant Commander Aerin Shepard of the Alliance Navy. Council Spectre. Captain of the SSV Normandy SR-1. My ship has been attacked by an unidentified cruiser. My crew has been evacuated, but I'm lost in space. If you found this, that means I'm... I'm dead..." She paused for a second, trying her best to steady her shaky voice. "Please inform Executive Officer Hannah Shepard of the SSV Kilimanjaro, Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko of the Normandy, and Councilor David Anderson-"

A faint hiss interrupted her recording. For a second, Shepard was confused, then gasped in utter horror when she realized what that sound was.

Oh god! No!

That was the sound of precious air was leaking out from her armor.

No, no, NO!

Floating in space, Shepard struggled to find the tear to seal it. The hissing noise became louder by the second as the tear no doubt had widened. Fear struck her harder than it had ever been in the past twenty-nine years of her life. The sound of her heartbeats was deafening to her ears; cold sweats dripped into her eyes, blurring her vision; her shallow but rapid breaths fogged the inside of her visor.

At last, she found the tear. With nothing but her hands, Shepard desperately tried to seal the opening, fighting for her dear life perhaps for the very last time.

No! I can't die like this! NOT LIKE THIS!

Seconds felt like years as she struggled. Burning chill seeped through the tear, freezing her down to her bones. The sheer force of the vacuum through that tiny tear had made each inhale a battle. Soon enough the battle was lost. Air was sucked out of her lungs hard, but none came back in.

Her throat tightened in searing pain; her body burned in agony; her surrounding started to dim rapidly. With the greatest effort, Shepard choked out her last words to the recording, "...I'm... sorr..."

"Lifetime sounds perfect."

"This damned galaxy owes you one. I'm proud of you."

"You make me feel... human."

"You are the only one who can stop him, Shepard!"

"See you on the other side, Skipper."

"You are remarkably strong-willed, Commander."

"This ship is yours, Shepard."

"You are the first human Spectre, Commander."

"Meet my XO, Lieutenant Commander Aerin Shepard."

"We're dropping you off to the combat zone, Shepard. Survive that and the N7 designation is yours."

"Welcome to the Interplanetary Combatives Academy, Shepard. Or as we call it, the villa."

"May I present the youngest recipient of the Star of Terra."

"Fall back, Shepard! You can't fight all the slavers by yourself!"

"Is that how you want to celebrate your 18th birthday? To enlist? What about your party?"

"Pack your bags, honey, we have to move."

"So you want to be a hero and save the galaxy when you grow up, huh?"

"Commander."

"Shepard."

"Aerin."

Her futile struggle had stopped. The fire in those blue eyes had all but extinguished. With her final bit of strength, Shepard parted her lips and uttered a name without sound, calling out for the man in her fading mind one last time.

"Kaidan!"

Kaidan looked up from the medi-gel in his hand. For a split second, he thought he had heard Shepard.

"Kaidan!" Tali rushed to him with Liara in tow. "Come! They've retrieved the last shuttle!"

He froze momentarily, torn between his duty as one of the few medics and his urge to see Shepard.

"Go, Kaidan," said Dr. Chakwas. "Make sure Jeff and the commander are okay."

Kaidan ran after Tali through crowded hallways of the Alliance rescue ship. Every escape shuttle had been retrieved, all except for one. And now, it was finally here in the hanger.

A faint smile surfaced as he released a sigh of relief at the sight of the shuttle. Shepard was here at last.

The shuttle's door opened. Kaidan rushed forward. For the rest of his life, Kaidan would never forget the look on Joker's face when he stumbled out of the shuttle. The pilot's usual smug expression was now twisted in pain as he collapsed on the floor.

Tali gasped, running to Joker's side. "Somebody. Quick! He needs medical attention!"

Everyone expected another figure to step out of the shuttle after the pilot.

But there was none.

Kaidan stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes widened in bone-chilling horror.

No...

"Where's Aerin?" Liara asked the question he didn't – couldn't – ask.

Joker only sobbed uncharacteristically, coughing and choking, his body shook as he curled up into a ball.

No...

Kaidan sprinted to the shuttle, hoping to find Shepard inside giving him a playful 'miss me?' and a teasing smile. It was one of her pranks. It had to be.

But the shuttle was empty.

No...

Kaidan whipped around and marched back to the pilot who had been lifted up by two medics. "Joker, where is Aerin?" he demanded, his heart pounding hard. "Where IS SHE?!"

Joker only hanged his head, still not a word came out of his mouth.

No...

"Jeff!" Liara screamed. "Where is the commander?"

Trembling, the pilot eventually shook his head then suddenly broke into a loud sob.

Kaidan's blood froze. His world shattered around him.

"KEELAH! How- Aerin is- It can't be!"

"GODDESS! NO! No!" Covering her face, Liara ran away in complete distraught.

Kaidan didn't move. He didn't scream, he didn't blink, nor did he even breath. Eyes widened, standing as still as a statue, he absolutely refused to process one thought: His greatest fear had come true.

No.

The commander was gone.

No!

Shepard was dead.

NO! NO!

All his senses shut down. He could not feel the thumping heartbeats pounding inside his chest, nor tightness in his throat that threatened suffocate him. Nor did he notice the blue glow flaring around his body. There was only one thought left in his mind, one single line that repeated again and again inside his head: Aerin was dead.

NO! NO! NO!

He spun around and ran away as fast as he could. Biotic energy around him pulsed stronger and brighter by the second. He didn't stop until reached the cargo storage, then collapsed on his hands and knees, out of breath.

The woman he loved was taken away from him. He would never see that sweet smile, or that sly smirk, or that angry glare. He would never hear her playful laughter, or her gentle whisper, or her crisp order. He would never feel those soft lips pressed onto his, nor would he ever get to stare into those brilliant blue eyes ever again.

His Aerin was dead.

That single thought finally sank in and it hit him harder than anything he had ever felt. It was more than he could take.

Kaidan let out a deafening cry. The blindingly bright biotic charge exploded around him with enough energy to send heavy crates and boxes in his radius flying across over the room.

You can't die... Not like this... NO!

Tears streamed down as he pounded on the floor hard with his bare fists. His features contoured in pure agony as he let out another raw scream.

...No... please... Don't leave me... You promised, Aerin, you promised you won't leave!

Again and again, he punched the floor. He choked and gasped for air, oblivious to the tears on his face and the blood on his hands.

...No... No, no, you can't do this to me. We're supposed to spend a lifetime together, DAMN IT!

"AERIN!" he yelled from the top of his lungs, hoping against hope that she could hear him, that she would come back to him.

Silence. Shepard never heard him, never came back.

He should have grabbed Joker and shoved that bastard into an escape shuttle. He should have listened to his instinct and stayed with her.

He should have protected her.

He should have told her he loved her.

But he had left her. And now, his Aerin was gone.

Forever.

The excruciating pain was too much to bear, Kaidan collapsed on the floor, trembling. Biotic glow enveloped his body, pulsing ever-so faintly.

He didn't know when the crew found him, nor did he know how he got through that night, the very first night without Shepard, and many nights after. It would be a long time until he could feel anything again. A part of him died with her that day, leaving a void that could never be filled.

Aerin Shepard was dead. Kaidan Alenko would never be the same ever again.

A/N: Sorry.

Next update will be the last chapter and the epilogue.