Chapter 38

A/N: Apologies for the delay. I've had a very busy week. Please do read Chapter 37 first, as this chapter won't quite make sense otherwise, and there were issues with this site when I posted it so everyone may not have seen it x

"You changed your mind then," Elsie whispered teasingly, as she and Charles stood in the Great Hall, Mr Barrow having gone to hang up their coats.

Her eyes twinkled at her husband with mischief and glee; thrilled that he had conceded and come around to her way of thinking by entering the Abbey through the front door.

"I could not allow my wife to arrive alone," he said solemnly, only the slight quirk at the corner of his mouth giving away that he was amused by her teasing. He really did not want to sleep on the couch for the next week, although he was almost sure Elsie would not have carried through with her threat … almost.

Elsie smiled lovingly at her husband.

"Well I am very glad you are at my side Mr Carson," she whispered once more, as she squeezed his hand at his side.

He quirked his eyebrows at his wife's use of his formal title, smiling happily as he squeezed Elsie's hand in return.

At that moment, Mr Barrow re-joined them and they swiftly let go of each other's hands.

"I will take you through to the Library now Mr and Mrs Carson," he said respectfully.

The situation was a little odd for Elsie and Charles; to be led across the Great Hall as guests; to be entering the Library to meet with Lord and Lady Grantham; to be dressed in normal, civilian clothes; every bit of it was highly irregular and unusual for them. From Mr Barrow's perspective it also felt very strange to be welcoming his former superiors to the Abbey as guests of the Family. The new Butler, however, had maintained a cordial relationship with both of his former Heads of Staff and certainly his former protector, Elsie, had made it her business to regularly invite him for tea. Therefore, with a little trepidation, the three made their way to the library.

Charles smirked to himself as he spotted Elsie, without even knowing she was doing this, checking the surfaces and the furniture for dust as they walked across the hall. Old habits never change, he thought warmly.

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The four had exchanged pleasantries for ten minutes, Lady Grantham asking the Carson's about their cottage and their recent weekend in Scarborough and Elsie asking about the Grantham's grandchildren and how they were getting on. It was a perfectly genial conversation; none of those present were truly relaxed but they were happy enough in each other's company and they all had much respect for the others in the group.

Charles appeared calm but Elsie could see by the way he gripped his right hand in his left that he was becoming more and more unsettled, wondering why on earth the Grantham's had asked them to the Abbey. They were both certain that it was not simply for tea. There was also a certain uncomfortableness about Lord Grantham. He was being respectful and kindly as always but there was something brittle about his demeanour that suggested he had something on his mind. Even the normally level-headed Elsie was becoming a little anxious to know what was happening. Finally Lady Grantham interrupted her husband as he wittered on about pig farming, as she aimed to steer the conversation to the matter in hand.

"Well Mr and Mrs Carson, you'll understand that we haven't asked you here to discuss pigs," she joked lightly.

Elsie smiled in relief, glad to be getting to the crux of the discussion at last.

Lady Grantham looked to her husband, who now looked as uncomfortable as Charles, encouraging him to speak.

"We have to sell the Abbey," Lord Grantham blurted out, taking a long breath to steady himself after speaking such words; he was determined to remain stoic.

Elsie and Charles stared in disbelief at Lord Grantham, trying to process his words. For a few seconds no one said anything.

"Milord, sell ... the Abbey?" Charles asked slowly, feeling immediate fear and yet hoping he had somehow misunderstood.

"We have no choice Carson, since the war ... you must have seen how estates are crumbling. Lord Landon sold Hendley House last spring, Earl Forthwaite is currently selling Bootle Abbey ... Lady Sinclair has donated Moolerton House to the National Trust ... it's the new way of things I am afraid ... death duties, crippling taxes, falling staff numbers, the cost of war ... they've taken their toll on estates like ours," he explained.

Lord Grantham felt it vulgar to discuss money but he felt he needed to explain. Other than possibly himself there was no one to whom Downton meant more; his former Butler had dedicated his life to the Abbey.

Charles felt it highly inappropriate to be having this conversation with His Lordship and yet he needed answers; he thought that maybe if he got answers he could help. There must be a way to avoid this, there must, Charles reasoned.

"Yes ... but Milord ... the farming projects, the new tenancies ... I thought ... I hoped ... you had found a way ... is there really no way other way? What about Grantham House?" Charles asked hopefully; selling their London home would surely be nowhere near as horrifying as selling the Abbey.

"It wouldn't be enough Carson, none of it is enough," Lord Grantham said sadly, forcing a reassuring smile toward the older couple.

"We didn't want either of you to hear about this from someone else. We know that the Abbey means a great deal to you both," Her Ladyship explained.

Lady Grantham knew that this statement was a little misleading; she knew that the former Housekeeper did not view the House in the same way as her husband. However, she also knew that there was no person more loyal or more empathetic than Mrs Carson and therefore, even if she was not as personally attached to the Abbey as her husband, she would still share the Family's sorrow, their regret, and she would, of course, understand the likely impact of this news on her husband, the former Butler.

Elsie shared an understanding and warm gaze with Lady Grantham. Elsie was touched that Her Ladyship would be so thoughtful, having the courtesy and respect to tell she and Charles personally. Elsie was very grateful for this, particularly for the sake of Charles; this news would be hard for him to bear under any circumstances but if he'd overheard this from the Vilage gossips it would have all but destroyed him. Elsie felt desperately saddened for the younger woman before her; certainly the Granthams would get through this and even in the seconds Elsie had had to reflect, she could recognise Her Ladyship's calmness and resolve; the Family would be far from destitute, it would simply mean a different way of life. However, whether rich or poor, to lose the place one calls home was a dreadful wrench and Elsie felt nothing but warmth and sympathy for the kind woman before her.

"Thank you Milady, that was very thoughtful of you. Mr Carson and I are most grateful and we are both very sorry for the difficulties you and your family face. We would only ever want you to enjoy happiness and good fortune," Elsie offered.

Lady Grantham smiled in gratitude at such kindness.

Both His Lordship and Charles sat lost in contemplation but on hearing Elsie's words, Lord Grantham looked upwards.

"Thank you Mrs Hugh ... oh damn it ... oh my, I do apologise ... Mrs Carson," he eventually mustered.

His Lordhsip had always found Elsie's change in name difficult to deal with and this slip-up helped to lighten the mood considerably, as His Lordship, Her Ladyship and the former Housekeeper all laughed lightly at this mistake.

Charles did not laugh, he continued to sit despondently; wanting to find some wise words, wanting to change the situation but knowing that he was utterly helpless. He was only just able to hold back his emotions as tears threatened. He could not bear to see the Family that he cared for so much, the Family that he had served for so long, in this predicament. He sat looking at his knees, his hands crossed in his lap, willing himself to be strong. It isn't your place to be sad, you old fool. Don't be so selfish, he reprimanded himself. You have Elsie, you have everything, he reminded himself, feeling a wave of relief that he was so blessed.

At that moment Charles forced himself to look upwards and he immediately caught the gaze of His Lordship.

The two men stared at each other with utter respect and understanding. Elsie and Lady Grantham watched in silence.

Elsie took a risk and gently moved her hand to rest on top of her husband's hands. He glanced sideways at Elsie offering her a tender smile. He then gently took her delicate fingers between his two hands, gladly absorbing his wife's love and strength before he looked back at Lord Grantham.

"I am dreadfully sorry Carson, I know how dedicated you are to the Abbey," His Lordship said, with a doleful yet accepting smile.

Charles took a long, deep breath, reigning in his emotions. He responded steadily,

"No Milord, I am dedicated to your family and not the House ... and that will never change, no matter where you reside."

Lord Grantham looking tremendously touched at the Butler's words; he nodded gratefully to his most trusted ally. No more words were needed.

Elsie smiled lovingly at her husband and gripped his hand that bit more firmly, feeling immensely proud.