Hello again. Thank you, as always, for your patience and for all of the kind words on the last chapter. It means a lot. I hope you all enjoy this one.

Chapter 38: All of Us, Together.

I expect you both to be here when I get back.

Paige knew the statement could have been levelled at either one of them. As far as Anne was concerned, given their track record, the odds were high that one of them was bound to end up fleeing at some point. Paige's money was on her Father today, given her current predicament. That and that fact that Paige, despite suffering from the usual foreboding anxiety that came with the territory whenever she was faced with him directly, didn't have any intention of running today.

Nick, unfortunately, didn't appear to have any intention of talking.

Anne had long since left them. At least, that's what it felt like. Neither of them had yet to speak, the silence dragging out each minute unbearably, Paige just about demented thanks to the steady tick of the clock in the corner. The only other sound was the faint clanging and clattering from down the hall, courtesy of Anne, the clarity of the commotion odd given the distance between the lounge and the kitchen. Whatever it was that she and Nick had been arguing about before Paige had hobbled out of the office and interrupted them, had clearly riled her Mother up good. The anxiety Anne likely felt at the thought of the two of them sitting here together, unsupervised, was no doubt a factor, too.

Paige let her gaze fall to her Father, her brow furrowing as she took in the sight of him. Back uncomfortably straight, hands entwined tightly in front of him, his leg tapping impatiently against the hardwood floor; Nick McCullers was a picture of discomfort.

It was as if he was waiting for a root canal, not sitting opposite his eldest daughter.

Paige's lips tugged into a frown. She didn't understand him at all, though that sentiment, when applied to Nick McCullers, was hardly anything new. How he'd gone from ushering her into the room, hand against her back and eyes full of concern just seconds ago, to sitting down and avoiding any and all eye contact with her, acting like he'd rather be anywhere else on earth, Paige didn't know. An all too familiar spike of frustration shot through her as she sat, not at all patiently willing him to just speak already.

Paige didn't know what he was waiting for. All she did know was that, in her mind at least, it was Nick's turn to do the talking. She'd tried. Really tried, and tried some more, again and again, pushing aside her own fear and discomfort to reach out, to try an repair the damage they'd caused one another. Each time, he'd offered her little in return. Suggesting they go jogging sometime had been the only olive branch he'd ever offered her, but that was off the table now. Even before that, he hadn't followed up, or checked in.

And there it was. Stuck in Paige's throat stubbornly, was the feeling of utter disappointment that Nick hadn't bothered to check in. Not before her accident, not after.

Paige had tried to forgive him for his silence since her accident, for the abandonment, if it could really be called that given their situation. She'd crafted plausible reasoning for it in her mind and in truth, had thought she'd accepted that. That had all changed once she'd set eyes on him. When it all came down to it, she hadn't accepted it at all, not even close. It still stung and now she was sat across from him, in front of him, the toll it had taken on her body, perhaps even her mind too, clear for him to see and yet still he offered her nothing but silence.

An all too familiar, all too awkward, all too infuriating silence.

"Is there really nothing you can think of to say to me?"

Nick's gaze shot up, as if almost startled by Paige's voice, his jaw tensing as he measured the terseness of her tone. Paige sighed, knowing she'd let her frustration bait her into snapping, but not quite finding the ability to hold back as he continued to stare at her in silence.

"Nothing? Nothing at all?"

Nick dropped his gaze, a heavy sigh falling from his lips. Paige watched him closely, taking note of the half shake of his head, the way his fingers splayed out anxiously across his thighs, his body, as always, wound unbearably tight.

"What were you thinking?"

"Wha…" Paige sat back, barking out a disbelieving laugh. She hadn't known what to expect him to say, but whatever it was, it certainly wasn't that. "What was I thinking? Seriously?"

"You…" Nick shook his head, his eyes falling away from her. "You could have died."

"You noticed that then."

Paige heard the spite in her voice, but still, her mind couldn't really find the fight to reel herself in. Surely, she was allowed to throw some spite towards him. He was right, she could have died and she was right, it was easy to feel like he'd hardly noticed. For what it was worth, Nick didn't voice the distaste that had clearly flared up inside as Paige had spoken, for all it was written across his face. Restraint was new for him, Paige had to give him that.

"Paige," he sighed heavily, the sound of her name falling from his lips with such softness making Paige feel uneasy. "You don't have to be so..."

"Don't I?" Paige interrupted him, unwilling to allow him to make her feel that her anger was irrational. "I appreciate the card. I do. It was more than I expected."

"More than you expected?"

Paige looked at her Father in disbelief once more. Did he really have the gall to be offended by that?

"It's been two weeks. Two weeks!" Paige could feel herself getting lost in her emotions, knowing that she was fighting a losing battle to stop them getting the better of her. She couldn't seem to help it, unable to summon the energy to fight it anymore. "I just…why couldn't you at least…did you even…I could be…and you haven't even, it's like you don't even care!"

"Of course I care."

"You have a funny way of showing it."

"Paige."

"It's true, isn't it?"

"Of course I care," Nick repeated, his gaze falling away, his tone oddly defeated.

"No you don't," Paige shook her head, feeling a rawness deep in her chest. "I've been…I've been dead to you, for so long. Why would it matter if…"

"Don't dare finish that sentence," Nick interjected sternly, the tone of his voice silencing Paige instantly, fear gripping her momentarily. His gaze seemed to soften as she met his eyes. "If I died, would it make you happy?"

"Of course not."

"Then don't assume you dying would make me happy," Nick retorted, the sternness creeping back into his voice, Paige feeling like a child being scolded. "You're my daughter, for heavens sake."

"I haven't been your daughter for a long time."

For a moment, it looked as if Nick was going to fight her on that, but the fight in his eyes dissipated quickly, replaced with a defeated tiredness, a sadness that Paige recognised, but not in him.

"No," Nick agreed solemnly, running a hand across his face with a sigh. "I suppose you haven't."

Paige closed her eyes, drawing in a deep breath. She knew she'd let her emotions get the better of her, as she always seemed to whenever opposite her Father. Paige could feel that her checks were flush, her eyes raw. For a moment she feared she'd started crying at some point, though when her hands cupped her cheeks inquisitively, they were dry. Paige took another deep breath, breathing in then out, trying her best to calm herself once more. She could never understand why it had to be like this. She was so tired, of it always being like this.

"That doesn't mean I…" Nick began, but trailed off just as quickly. He shook his head, almost frustratedly. Whatever it was that he wanted to say, Paige could see that something, be it pride or whatever else, was apparently stopping him.

And upon witnessing that, Paige wanted to fight him. Scream at him. Beg him, as she was sure she had before, to just swallow whatever it was that continually stopped him reaching out to her and to just say what he wanted to say, say what it was he felt. Whatever it was, she needed to hear it. Good or bad, because she didn't know if she could continue existing like this anymore.

The space he left in her life was a gaping wound. Raw and no matter how hard Paige tried, there was always some reminder of him, of them, that continually opened it up again.

"I miss you."

The words fell from Paige's lips, surprising her, her voice wavering dangerously at the admission. Paige heard Nick scoff, disbelievingly but not spitefully, something about that finally giving Paige the courage to meet his gaze.

"No, I do. I always have."

"I find that hard to believe."

"So do I," Paige let out a sad laugh. "Trust me. I've spent a very long time trying my very best to just hate your guts."

"Do you?" Nick asked, somewhat defeatedly. "Hate my guts?"

"I've tried to," Paige admitted. "But I can't. It feels like I should sometimes. But…I can't."

Nick seemed to mull the words over in his mind, Paige watching a myriad of emotions washing over his features, some of them pleasant, some of them not.

"You left."

"Because you made sure I had no other choice," Paige bit her tongue, recognising her voice raising again. That wasn't what she was getting at. "I don't mean I missed you while I was away. I mean I miss us. I miss you cutting the corners off my grilled cheese sandwiches and tossing me in the water…I miss sitting in your office and listening to you grumble to yourself. I even miss you screaming at me to push harder, swim faster. I miss…I miss having you in my life."

"You're not a child anymore," Nick sighed, sadness and frustration in his tone. "I'm not that man anymore."

"I know."

"We can't be that way anymore."

"I know that," Paige retaliated. "I'm not asking for that."

"You're asking for something."

Paige knew he was right.

Paige wanted, needed to know if he wanted to be part of her life. If there was ever going to be that chance for them, because, up to now, the only thing standing in their way was him. At some point, something had to give. The uncertainty was draining, it hung around Paige, heavy, affecting her in ways she was aware of and in others she knew she likely hadn't even realised yet. It had to come to an end at some point.

Yet still, Paige couldn't bring herself to ask.

"I'm sorry."

Paige's head shot up, brow furrowing, wondering for a moment if she was hearing things.

Nick McCullers didn't do apologies.

What Nick was apologising for exactly, Paige wasn't sure. Her heart sank, considering that perhaps he'd read her mind, had figured out what it was that she was asking for and that he was apologising because it was something he felt he could give to her. As much as Paige wanted any kind of closure, a clean break wasn't the answer she was looking for.

"I'm sorry I didn't visit you in the hospital," Nick continued, clarifying. "I didn't know if you'd want…but I understand now, that perhaps you would have appreciated that. So, I apologise."

Paige nodded in acknowledgement, still slightly flabbergasted that he'd even given her that.

"Did you want to?" Paige asked, looking up.

"I didn't know what to do," Nick admitted. "Your Mother, she just told me that I needed to come pick up your brother and sister. You'd had an accident, she said. But she didn't tell me what. But I could tell…I know your Mother. She was terrified."

"I gave her a shock," Paige's sighed, still marred by shame that she'd managed to scare the people she loved most.

"You gave everyone a shock," Nick agreed. "I…for an awful moment, I thought we'd lose you."

"Yet you still didn't reach out."

"I know," Nick replied simply, a shame to his voice that again seemed so foreign to him, but not at all disingenuous. He hadn't attempted to deny it. "I thought we'd lose you and at the time, I couldn't really make sense of what it was, that I was feeling," Nick continued, Paige's brow furrowing. Surely, it should have been obvious. Despite their fractious relationship, Paige knew her Father wasn't really a monster. She knew he'd mourn for her, even if it wasn't the Paige she was now that he was morning. "Then I realised. It was…"

"Was what?" Paige prompted, refusing to let him trail off.

"Guilt," Nick admitted plainly.

"Oh."

"I knew, should anything happen to you, I'd have to live the rest of my life, knowing that my daughter…knowing you'd…" Paige watched Nick struggle, her chest tightening as she watched his facade crumble, a true vulnerability gracing his features, one she'd never witnessed before, it almost making her uncomfortable. "Knowing you'd died and that I'd spent so many years pushing you away…senselessly."

Paige made a sound, somewhere between relief and disbelief, shaking her head. Even after hearing the rawness of his words, Paige still couldn't quite imagine him thinking of her in that way. She was no stranger to the sentiment; she'd thought of him in that way, after each of his heart attacks and before his surgery. She'd lived with that fear, understood the emotion, but couldn't quite couple Nick with the image of him feeling remorseful for all of the time they'd spent apart.

"Then why wouldn't you…"

"Cowardice, I suppose," Nick admitted, Paige taken aback by his honestly. Apologies were one thing, but admitting weakness was beyond anything she could have ever imagined. "I didn't know if you'd want to see me. How it would work."

"I get what you mean," Paige agreed. Despite having felt such anger that he hadn't bothered at all to visit, Paige understood why he would have felt unsure. She certainly had, when she'd visited him before his surgery.

"I…" Nick sighed heavily. "I don't know you anymore, Paige."

"Don't you want to?" Paige found herself asking, her voice more vulnerable that she would have hoped.

"Can it really be that simple?" Nick asked, voicing an uncertainty that Paige had tried desperately to quell.

"I don't really know," Paige admitted truthfully, shrugging her shoulders hopelessly. "I guess what it really comes down to, is if you're willing to try."

Paige watched her Mother's face change, with some amusement, as she hopped into the kitchen, Nick following closely behind her. He pulled out a chair for her, taking her crutches, Paige shooting him a small smile in thanks, before her eyes drifted back to her Mother. It was easy to see that Anne was trying to school her expression, though when she met Paige's eyes it was easy to read the question there. Paige shot her a look as if to say 'I'll tell you later', but wasn't entirely sure she'd really be all that able to do that.

Paige wasn't really sure what was happening. Their conversation in the lounge had petered off, Nick's only answer to her question a brief, not all that convincing nod. It hadn't been a yes or a no and as always, she'd been left with more questions than answers, though for once, Paige felt that they were on something of a more even ground. The silence had returned between them, then Paige's stomach had grumbled, Nick suggesting they go check up on breakfast.

So here they were.

Paige felt Nick drawing out the seat beside her, chancing a glance toward him as he settled down into it. It was easy to see the uncertainly on his features, something that surprised her, given how much of a closed book he so often appeared to be. But in that moment, he hadn't quite schooled his expression well enough to hide the uncertainty he so clearly felt. Perhaps he was uncertain if Anne was actually going to make him breakfast, if he was welcome to join them, perhaps it was an uncertainty about what exactly it was he was doing here. Obviously, he was waiting for his two youngest children to get out of bed, get dressed and leave for their day with him, but sitting there, beside his estranged daughter whilst waiting for his estranged wife to plate up breakfast was something Paige accepted must have felt rather bizarre to him.

It certainly felt bizarre to her.

Another McCullers picking up on the bizarreness of the situation in the room was Caitlin, wandering in, obviously surprised to find the two of them sitting together at the table. Caitlin hid the surprise well, greeting her Father with a warm smile and a peck to the cheek, before sitting down opposite Paige. She subtly shot Paige the same questioning glance Anne had minutes earlier, Paige simply shrugging in response.

"Where's your brother?" Anne spoke breaking the, for once, not all that uncomfortable silence that had settled between them. It was still charged, certainly, but missing the tenseness it so often carried.

"Brushing his teeth," Caitlin explained, smiling at her Mom in thanks as she set a plate down in front of her.

Paige's breakfast followed, Paige letting out a small laugh at the hearty plate her Mom set down in front of her. It was bordering on excessive, the sheer amount of food on her plate, but Paige knew not to protest. Anne had continually reminded her that she 'needed to keep her strength up', that apparently having meant Anne intended to overload her with food at every opportunity. Paige felt Anne's fingers running through her ponytail gently as she turned back to the counter, returning moments later with a plate for Nick.

Nick's plate was decidedly less generous than the one Paige was tucking into, Paige watching her parents curiously as Nick shot Anne a distasteful look. It would have been amusing, the way they were looking at each other, had Paige not felt a wave of anxiety shooting through her. After all, it didn't take a lot to set her parents off.

"You've got to keep an eye on your cholesterol."

Paige watched her Father's jaw tighten in annoyance at that, clearly, this was something they'd bickered about before, perhaps a lot, but once Anne turned away, preparing to serve Evan and herself, she caught a hint of a smile tugging onto her Father's lips.

They ate in relevant silence once Evan had joined them, an easy, if at times a little awkward silence. Even Evan had appeared to have picked up on the strangeness of the situation; this wasn't something that had happened for a very long time. Even before Paige left, she was scarcely present at the breakfast table. Come to think of it, Nick hadn't been there all too often either. He'd always been so preoccupied with work, so often in his office or out of the house before anyone else had so much as stirred.

It was Caitlin who broke the silence eventually, asking, with the best of intentions, if Nick had enjoyed his Thanksgiving. Her easily smile had fallen as soon as she'd asked the question, Paige feeling an odd pull in her heart. It wasn't something they knew for certain, but Paige felt confident, as she was sure everyone else did, that Nick had spent it alone.

"I didn't celebrate," Nick answered simply after a beat, Paige watching with a frown as Caitlin looked away, clearly scolding herself for bringing it up. Afraid even, of how he was going to react. "As far as I'm concerned, today is my Thanksgiving, now that I get to spend it with you two."

Nick reached out, giving Evan's shoulder a pat, Paige smiling herself as she watched her Dad offer Caitlin the warmest of smiles, one that looked so natural, if a little unrecognisable upon her Father's features. Paige's heart twisted again, feeling an oddly familiar twang of jealousy in her chest, quickly followed by an overwhelming gladness that he genuinely seemed to be repairing his relationship with the two of them, it easy to see how much it meant to Caitlin to hear him say that.

Paige's smile faded away, her lips tugging into a frown, still unsure if he wanted to offer their relationship the same chance.

"And then, there's this. What an added bonus," Nick continued after a moments hesitation, drawing Paige from her thoughts. There was an odd edge to his tone, though his words didn't sound fake, only hesitant. He'd turned to her, looking to her, the look so soft, so open, Paige almost couldn't hold it. "All of us, together. Finally."

Paige nodded, reading something within his gaze. She could feel his hesitancy at having said them, but it was followed by the feeling of his hand against her shoulder, giving it a soft, reassuring squeeze.

"Fuck."

Emily squeezed her finger tightly as the curse passed her lips, trying to ward off the pain, waiting impatiently for the sting to fade. She kicked out at the radiator in annoyance, wincing as a spike of pain shot through her foot thanks to the action.

"Em."

The nickname fell from Paige's lips with a sigh, Emily's eyes drifting across to the couch where Paige had sat for the past hour, in relative silence. Paige's eyes were still glued to the television despite the fact she'd spoken, a flare of annoyance rising up within Emily at the sight. She knew Paige was faking, entirely confident that there was no way in hell Paige was as engrossed as she was pretending to be.

Paige hadn't really spoken much since they'd arrived home. She hadn't really been ignoring Emily, but certainly hadn't been actively acknowledging her either. For what it was worth, despite desperately wanting to talk things over, Emily hadn't really attempted to broach the subject. Paige hadn't seemed to want to talk and Emily had accepted that, settling for the silence they'd found themselves sharing with little protest.

Paige hadn't seemed all that angry when Emily had picked her up. She'd been subdued on the phone when Emily had called to check that Paige did, in fact, still want Emily to collect her, but hadn't been in any way passive aggressive when they were finally face to face, just a little quiet. Subdued. Paige had remained subdued throughout the drive home, Emily uncertain if it was down to her own presence, or something else. Paige had come home with her, even agreeing to go to Emily's apartment over her own, which Emily had decided was some sort of a good sign.

They definitely needed to talk, but Emily was happy to take that at Paige's own pace.

Emily had felt a little selfish in bringing Paige back to her apartment, had felt dubious to ask in the first place, but still, was glad Paige had accepted the idea with little protest. It meant Emily was closer to her parents, meaning she could visit her Dad amply before he left, without having to worry too much about leaving Paige. Pam had attempted to persuade her to stay at home, bringing Paige too if she wanted, but after some deliberation, Emily had decided against it. She knew deep down her parents would appreciate the alone time together, not wanting to spoil their last few days with each other by infecting the house with any of the tension that may still be lingering between herself and Paige. Spencer and Hanna weren't due back until Saturday and Monday respectively, meaning she and Paige would have plenty alone time, too.

Not that they were exactly putting it to good use.

Emily turned her attention back to the radiator when Paige said nothing more, trying again to turn the heat on, cursing softly once more when she failed. Spencer liked to keep the apartment cold and with Emily so often at Paige's place and Hanna away in New York, Spencer had left it off before going out of state. Unfortunately for Emily, she hadn't loosened the nob at all before she'd left.

"Em, just leave it," Paige spoke again, this time her eyes meeting Emily's fleetingly.

"It's freezing in here, Paige," Emily sighed, once again trying and failing to get enough purchase on the nob to twist it, slapping it petulantly.

"Yeah," Paige didn't disagree with her. "Look, will you just come here?"

"What?" Emily asked, turning to find, with some surprise, that Paige was finally looking at her. Not only that, she had lifted the blanket she'd been shrouded in for most of the evening in a silent invitation for Emily to take a seat alongside her.

"Come here."

Emily accepted the invitation tentatively, glad that Paige was inviting her to be close to her, glad that Paige was acknowledging her, but not wanting to push her luck. Paige draped the blanket across Emily's lap once she'd settled, Emily's breath hitching, somewhat to her embarrassment, as Paige's fingers accidentally brushed her thigh. She was so used to them touching, migrating toward one another whenever they shared the same space, that she found having to restrain herself difficult, the hesitancy she felt about being so close to Paige, but not close enough, causing her heart to twist.

Paige's eyes once again settled back on the TV, but Emily felt unable to really focus her attention on anything but Paige. She watched the light of the screen flicker across Paige's face, Paige reasonably expressionless, Emily frowning. Paige appeared entirely unaffected by Emily's presence beside her, whereas Emily's entire body hummed restlessly, yearning for them to just be…them, again. It was torture, being so close, but feeling the distance so prevalent between them.

"Sorry," Emily spoke the word softly, the word falling from her lips in a sort of plea. She didn't know what else to say, what else she could do. She'd done what she'd done with the best of intentions, but it was so easy to see, even as Paige tried her best to appear indifferent, that it still hurt her. Paige had reacted to the apology with a sort of flinch, Emily biting her lip to stop herself from continuing. "I'm sorry for not being able to turn on the heat."

"Don't worry about it," Paige shrugged, offering Emily a brief smile. "I don't really mind the cold."

"Maybe not, but we don't want you catching a cold," Emily frowned, reaching out instinctively to test Paige's temperature, pulling her hand away sharply as she caught herself.

"I won't catch a cold," Paige assured her, pulling the blanket up to her chin as it to emphasise her point.

"Let me know if you need another throw," Emily insisted, frowning as she realised once again, she'd begun to fuss.

"I will."

"Okay," Emily sighed, settling back onto the couch and trying her best to focus on the TV.

"How was Thanksgiving?" Paige surprised Emily with the question after a beat, Emily having assumed they were destined to settle back into the silence they'd been marooned in for most of the evening.

"Ah, good," Emily nodded, a genuine smile tugging onto her lips as she though back over her day. Thanksgivings were few and far between in her household and despite spending a little too long mooning over her argument with Paige, once settled she'd had a wonderful day, especially with her Dad, her smile faltering a little at the thought of him. She met Paige's eyes, surprised to find them prompting her to elaborate. "Bittersweet. My Dad…well, he told me he's going back to Texas on Tuesday."

"Tuesday?" Paige pushed herself up, surprised, looking the most animated she had all day. "But, what about…oh. Oh, Em."

Paige took Emily's hand instinctively, Emily smiling sadly at the gesture. When she met Paige's gaze she could see the genuine disappointment Paige felt for her, Emily warming a little as she saw her own sadness mirrored in Paige's eyes.

"He might get home for Christmas," Emily smiled half-heartedly. She really didn't want to get her hopes up.

"Hopefully," Paige nodded, though she sounded about as convinced as Emily herself had. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Emily couldn't really stop the disbelieving look that graced her features, Paige thankfully understanding that given the way they'd spent the past 24 hours, it made quite some sense for Emily not to have mentioned it.

"I just mean, you could have stayed home," Paige continued. "I would have stayed at my Mom's…"

"I wanted to give them some privacy," Emily explained, her hand finally relaxing in Paige's now she felt confident Paige wasn't about to pull it away. "I'm close enough here to squeeze plenty visits in before he goes."

"You didn't just come here because you felt you had to take care of me?" Paige asked, though Emily didn't hear any accusation in her tone.

"No," Emily assured her. "I mean, of course I wanted to see you, if that counts."

"Did I…" Paige began after a beat, dropping Emily's hand in favour of fiddling with her own fingers anxiously. Emily instantly missed the contact. "Did I ruin your Thanksgiving?"

"What? No. Paige," Emily shook her head, meeting Paige's sceptical gaze. "Of course you didn't."

"I'm sorry," Paige apologised. "If I did. I shouldn't have…I should have known how important yesterday was to you."

"I should be the one apologising," Emily interjected, dipping her head. "Did I ruin yours?"

"No," Paige shook her head vehemently. "I almost did. It…it left me reeling, the fact you…" Paige trailed off with a heavy sigh. "But my Mom called me out on it, so thankfully, once we got down to it we had a pretty amazing day."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Emily felt herself mimicking the smile that splayed out across Paige's lips, her heart warming at the genuine happiness Paige seemed to emit as she spoke. "It was a little weird at first, but it felt so good to be home."

Emily simply smiled, glad to see just how truly happy Paige was as she thought about it. Emily wanted nothing more than to kiss her then, her smile fading as she remembered there was still something of a disconnect lingering between them.

"Look, about yesterday," Paige began, sighing. Emily watched carefully as her jaw tensed, picking up on the difficultly Paige seemed to be having formulating her words.

"Paige," Emily began herself, shaking her head. "I'm so, so…"

"I'm sorry," Paige cut her off. "For yesterday, for being so…"

"You don't need to apologise," Emily interrupted, shaking her head. "It's me who should be sorry. I shouldn't have…"

"You thought you were doing the right thing," Paige interjected. "I understand that."

"I did, but…"

"You should have told me."

"I should have."

"I'm sorry," Paige repeated, looking down at her hands shamefully. "Those things I said about…"

"You didn't mean them," Emily cut her off, meeting her gaze, but having to look away. She'd hoped to sound confident, but hadn't really managed to. "Or…or maybe you did."

"I…" Paige sighed heavily. "It hurt, knowing you'd kept something from me. And that other stuff, I just…I'm just so frustrated. But I know that's not an excuse. I should have taken that out on you."

"I know you're frustrated," Emily turned to her, reaching out to rest her palm on Paige's thigh after a moments hesitation, glad that Paige didn't flinch away at the simple touch. "And that doesn't change the fact that I shouldn't have lied about your Dad. I don't know what I was thinking…"

"You were 'protecting' me," Paige cut her off, sighing. It was easy to see it still stung, even as Paige tried to play it down, it was so easy to read on Paige's features. "I understand why you did it. It hurt me because you didn't trust me enough to know I wouldn't overreact if you told me."

"I was scared for you," Emily defended herself, Paige nodding solemnly all the while. "The only experience I'd had of the two of you at that point was seeing you that night, after the hospital, your hand bloody and you just so…broken. I didn't ever want to see you like that again. I knew we were doing good with your Mom, I knew it meant so much to you that day to see her trying so hard with me. I didn't want to ruin it. Even risk it."

"I know," Paige nodded, sighing. Emily had explained it to her before, after all.

"I'm sorry I lied to you," Emily apologised once more, shaking her head hopelessly. "I wish I could take it back. I wish I could…I just wish I could make it up to you."

"You don't have to," Paige shook her head, her gaze softening. "I forgive you."

"Really?"

"You did it because you had my best interests at heart," Paige explained, managing a half smile. "I know you didn't mean to hurt me. I know you wouldn't intentionally hurt me."

"But I did hurt you."

"Yeah, you did. But I still forgive you," Paige repeated herself, this time reaching for Emily's hand again, resting it atop of the one resting against her own leg. "Can you forgive me?"

"Forgive you?" Emily asked, confused. "Forgive you for what?"

"For the way I was," Paige explained, looking away. "For the things I said. I didn't mean them."

"It's…it's okay if you did, you know," Emily offered Paige a small smile. "Paige…look, if you think I'm being overbearing, if I'm taking too much control…if it's too much, at all, ever, if I'm fussing…just tell me. Don't let it fester."

"I'll try," Paige nodded after a moment. "I know you're just trying to help."

"I am," Emily agreed, twisting fully until she was sat cross legged facing Paige. "I'm also aware that maybe I'm overdoing it sometimes. It's kind of the Fields way to fuss…sometimes I feel like I'm turing into my Mother."

"There are worse people to turn into," Paige smiled, Emily knowing she meant it. Paige's smile soon faded, Emily's brow furrowing in concern. "Take me, for example."

"You?"

"Sometimes, I feel like I'm…" Paige trailed off, swallowing hard. "Sometimes it feels like I'm turning into my Dad."

"Paige," Emily picked up on the way Paige's voice wavered at the admission, picking up on the sadness underpinning her words, a hint of fear in them.

"Getting ill, it changed him. It made him bitter. He lashed out at the people he loved the most…pushed them away. He lost himself completely. That's what I've…"

"Hey," Emily cut Paige off, not giving her a chance to protest, to continue. "This is hard. You're going to get frustrated when things aren't moving as fast as you'd hoped, you're going to lash out sometimes because of that. It doesn't mean you're turning into your Dad. It doesn't mean you're changing. It definitely wouldn't push me away. I know you Paige. You're not like that."

"I look at him now and I can see him trying so hard to work his way back to whoever he used to be, but…it's as if he doesn't really know if he ever can," Paige continued, shaking her head. "I worry sometimes, that I'll get to a point where…"

"You're not going to."

"You don't know that."

"I do," Emily shook her head," shifting closer. She brushed the hair from Paige's face, her fingers lingering for a moment, urging Paige to look at her. "You're strong Paige. The strongest, bravest person I know."

"I can still feel myself getting lost sometimes," Paige admitted, voice cracking. "I was so lost, for so long and…and I still don't quite know where I'm going."

"That's right," Emily nodded, Paige looking to her in confusion. "I mean, you were lost. But you fought your way back to yourself. You fought your way home."

Paige's eyes fell away from her at that, Emily's heart breaking as she watched her struggling to remember. She reached out, relinking their hands. It was all she could think of to do. There was nothing she could say to comfort her. She just hoped Paige knew she was there, would always be there to anchor her, to find her, whenenever she needed to be found.

"Paige, look at me," Emily urged her, Paige meeting her gaze a moment later. "I'd never let you lose yourself, you know that right? I'd never give up on you."

Paige looked at her, the smallest, softest smile tugging onto her lips as she shook her head. She leant forward and Emily couldn't stop herself, closing the distance instantly to capture Paige's lips, a warmth shooting through her entire body at the contact she'd so desperately missed, her body finally able to relax now they were whole again.