Hi all! Sorry again for the delay with this chapter. Thank you all for the reviews and continued support for the last few updates.
I promised this weeks ago but I keep getting distracted. I've had it half-done since before BD but found it hard to get the tone right and wasn't sure how believable it was, I was worried about putting it up. Then I was thinking of where Edward and Bella in chapter 2 of BD where they have the little 'practice makes perfect' conversation so I decided to continue.
So up to this, all I've had them do is make-out, this goes further. Just a warning, because shockingly there are a few readers who don't like that kind of thing. It's also super-long (so pace yourselves)and remember, this is still after Eclipse/ before BD.
Bella POV
Within an hour, there was no longer any trace of blue in the sky. It was strange, I had so quickly gotten used to the bright sky, that the return of the clouds made me feel uneasy. Like something was building, yet I was only seeing it through a foggy haze. It was still hot, the air was thick with pressure and I could almost smell the approaching rain. Something needed to break. It was becoming impossible to breath.
"It's meant to storm pretty bad tonight," Charlie commented after dinner, after I'd told him all about Renee's surprise visit. "I hope you're not planning on going out,"
I shook my head. "I think Edward's coming over,"
"Good. It's too dangerous to be out in that weather," he said.
"We get bad weather all the time, Dad," I rolled my eyes.
"Not like this. It will be…wilder, worse after the sunny spell. You need to be careful," he warned.
"I always am," I told him.
"Yeah well, I think I'm going to head down to LaPush to check on Billy before it gets too bad. He's all alone down there now, " he told me pointedly. Sometimes I felt like he was intentionally trying to make me feel even more responsible for Jake leaving. As if I wasn't guilty enough already.
"I'm sure Sam or Seth will make sure he's alright," I told him sadly.
"I'll go down just in case. See you later, Bells. Tell Edward to be careful if he's driving in the storm,"
"Sure, see you in a while," I called after him.
With perfect timing, perhaps too perfect, Edward was outside as soon as the cruiser was gone around the corner. He was wearing a fresh blue shirt that complimented his pale skin and he grinned at me as he bounded up the steps to the front door. As always, his smile took my breath away. I was ridiculously happy to see him, considering we'd only been apart for a couple of hours.
"I brought supplies," he announced, holding two stuffed black hold-alls above his head.
"For what? A siege?" I asked.
"Don't be sarcastic," he laughed. "This is going to be a bad storm, Alice warned me to be prepared,"
"Oh so you're a Boy Scout now," I quipped. Edward ignored me, swept passed and set the bags in the living room.
"Alice also said to tell you thanks for the gift," he continued.
"But I didn't give it to her yet-oh never mind," She had obviously already seen it.
"She also said you owe her a day out now that the weather will be back to normal. Since you willingly went with your mother, there's no excuse for neglecting your sisterly duties," he quoted, imitating Alice's silvery voice perfectly.
"There were extenuating circumstances, I couldn't stay here!" I was getting a headache just thinking about it.
Edward raised his hands in a defensive motion. "Don't shoot the messenger. If she plans anything too crazy, I promise to rescue you ok?"
"Fine," I pouted. Really, my irritation didn't have anything to do with Alice. I was just feeling…edgy tonight. I could blame it on the approaching thunderstorm, I supposed.
"You must be relieved the fine weather is coming to an end," I said, sitting with him on the couch, trying to fight the panic building within me. "It's been a hassle for you, avoiding the sun and having to stay indoors,"
Edward looked pensive. "It has been a bit inconvenient, I suppose. But we had a good time didn't we?"
"The best," I agreed.
"If I tell you something will you try not to think any less of me?" he asked, taking on a serious tone.
"Of course, I never could think less of you," I promised.
"In a way, the hot weather made me feel…useful around you. At night I could hold you and keep you cool. It was a welcome change from making you freeze," he admitted. He didn't look me in the eye. I imagined his mind was elsewhere, cast back to the night in the tent not so long ago when I needed Jacob to keep me warm.
"If it tell you something do you promise not to think less of me?" I countered, leaning in to whisper in his ear. "You should know this already, of course, but just to re-iterate. Edward, it doesn't matter how cold your touch is. It always makes me feel hot,"
His smile was mischievous, and a tad disbelieving. "Really?"
"Really." I confirmed.
"Are you sad that it's ending?" he asked me. "I know the sun is something you missed most about your old home,"
I sighed. "I can't help but feel that way. I'm not sad about the weather, exactly, but I am sad that this is ending,"
His eyebrows pulled together in confusion and he leaned closer, trying to figure out what I was saying.
"Over the last few days, everything was so….carefree. Like being on a vacation from all the stress we've had lately." I clarified, trying to show him my anxiety wasn't about him. "I don't know how to explain what I mean. It's like things are going back to normal," Our version of normal wasn't always a good thing.
"Nothing will change, Bella. I'll keep things exactly how you want," he interrupted.
"Thing will change, Edward." I pointed out. "That's life. As long as things stay the same between us, it'll be fine…"
I trailed off, trying to collect my thoughts to give him the explanation he wanted and deserved. I was distracted by the intensity in his eyes, light again from hunting, and my train of thought went in completely different direction. I couldn't pinpoint my feelings before, but now I knew exactly where they were heading. The sensations Edward stirred within me, just from a simple look, were indescribable. I wondered sometimes if it was normal. To want someone as much as I wanted him. I wished we could just hide inside our own private bubble, alone together with no interruptions. I wished I could show him what I was thinking, to help him understand. I couldn't articulate what was going on in my brain.
"What are you thinking about?" he asked. I didn't realise how long I'd been silent for.
"You," I replied, telling a half-truth. My thoughts were always full of him. Like before, he was still waiting for a more expansive answer. Since I couldn't explain my edginess, I decided to plough ahead and share the thoughts I was only realising, with him.
I looked down, knowing I would have trouble forming a coherent sentence while faced with the overwhelming force of his gaze. My nails were suddenly fascinating.
"What about me?" he pressed. The careful concern in his voice told me he was worried he had done something wrong.
"Just how much I want to touch you," I admitted in a rush. I could see visible relief on his face.
Edward pulled me to his chest, where I gladly rested my head. "Now we're touching," he said.
I didn't have the words to tell him that wasn't quite what I meant. If I couldn't keep track of my thoughts, how could I explain them to him?
He leaned his head closer to mine. I could have easily closed the distance, pressed my lips to his. If I did that then though, I doubted I would have been able to remove myself. I might have been able to show him, I reasoned. Might. A kiss could make me forget the stifling dread that was inexplicably surrounding me. Or I might have choked on my panic, throw myself into a kiss of desperation and feel no better for it.
Edward waited patiently as I considered all this. I decided there would be time enough tomorrow for apprehension. Tonight could be about us.
I twisted my head upwards, meaning to kiss him. One brush of his lips could soothe the deepest worry. Instead, a loud clatter rang out. It made me jump away from Edward and my heart began to splutter.
"It's ok," he murmured. "The wind is picking up. It blew over a rubbish bin outside," His arms were still open. It would have been simple to return to them, to move back to his side of the couch. But I knew I'd be unable to relax so I stayed where I was.
"Do you mind if I go have a shower?" I asked him. "It's been a long day,"
"Of course not," he replied, like I knew he would. "Should I wait here?"
"Ok," I tossed him the remote. "I'll be quick,"
He stood up when I did, never forgetting his manners. "Take all the time you need, Bella.
He smiled sweetly and I trudged up the stairs.
The warm water of the shower was as relaxing as I'd hoped. It helped clear my head and soothed my aching muscles and the bruises that peppered my skin. It helped me gather my thoughts.
I wasn't merely uneasy, I realised, I was also sad. Unhappiness weighed me down. It was illogical, irrational, but I couldn't deny it. For over a week, we'd been enjoying the rare sunshine and it allowed us to put trouble and strife behind us. Now that it was ending, I was sad. Sad and afraid that the good times were over for now. What was facing me? A spectacle of a wedding, abandoning my family, pain and bloodlust. It would be worth it, of course, I knew that. The prospect of eternity with Edward was worth anything. He was my beacon in the darkest night. I had no doubts about him.
But still, when I was alone I couldn't help but be a teensy bit afraid. That I couldn't handle it or that I would cause Edward and everyone else so much pain. I couldn't share this with him. It would only hurt him. So I swallowed it down and let my mind drift to more pleasant topics.
Well, there was only one main pleasant topic in my mind anyway. If nothing else, the unprecedented sunny spell had given me hope. A guide to what our honeymoon could be like and a hint to what life after would be like. When there would be no imbalances getting in the way of our relationship. Seeing Edward gradually let down all the restraints he put on himself was immensely gratifying. To see that he wanted me as much as I did him was even better.
Sometimes when I looked at him, I wondered if it was possible to desire someone too much. I never had close girlfriends to hear about this stuff off. I had vaguely repressed memories of Renee breaking up with a guy because there was no 'spark' between them. Other than fleeting admirations for fictional characters, I had never experienced even a crush before the day I met him. Desire and want were all new concepts to me and all centralled around one person. I was fairly certain it was abnormal, the way his touches thrilled me so. I knew it was sexual attraction, pure and simple, it had been since the first time we touched. It was made even stronger due to the deep love that accompanied it.
I didn't want my mind to go there, but when I thought of love, the smiling russet face of my absent best friend popped into my head. I did love Jacob, there was no doubt about that. But I never desired him like I did Edward. Even on the mountain, when I let him kiss me and I kissed him back, it was a kiss full of desperation and fear. A culmination of stress and panic. I certainly never wanted it to go any further than that. I never thought about him alone at night or dreamed about him touching me.
In truth, the heat was nice but I preferred the cold.
The universe must have heard that thought because at that instant, the shower ran cold. I jumped out, wrapped a worn scratchy towel around me and darted to the bedroom to find clothes. I was confident Edward was in the living-room where I had left him. Part of me wished he would have followed me to the shower.
The window was still open, letting in the wind from outside. It wasn't raining yet but the storm clouds were rolling in. Several papers had blown off my desk were scattered around the room. The draught made the door slam shut behind me, so I ran over to shut the window and flip on the lamp. I glanced at the new black nightgown Renee had bought me, but decided against it. I wasn't quite that brave. I threw on a tank top and comfy pants and brushed out my tangled wet hair. I was about to tie it up when suddenly the room was plunged into darkness.
I turned around with a start and banged my foot against the bottom of my desk. I cried out in pain, holding onto the offensive desk to get my bearings.
"Bella?" Edward's honey voice rang out from the landing. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah," I replied through gritted teeth. "I just banged my toe,"
He seemed hesitant then. "Can I …is it ok if I come in? Are you dressed?"
"I'm decent," I answered, rolling my eyes and then regretting it. He could see in the dark. "Is the power out everywhere?"
"A tree was blown over and hit the generator outside town, according to Charlie," he told me while scooping me into his arms.
"It's just a little bump, I can walk," I began to protest. "Wait, is Charlie home already?"
"You could walk, but I don't want to risk you falling down the stairs in the dark," he said, carrying me out of the room. "And no, your father isn't home. He called while you were in the shower. Some roads are blocked between here and LaPush so he won't make it back tonight,"
So that meant Edward and I had the house all to ourselves. The edgy feeling returned, my stomach knotted. He set me down in the pitch-black hallway. I couldn't see a thing, but I was acutely aware of his presence beside me.
"Are you sure nothing is wrong?" he asked. I knew by his tone that he wasn't referring to my injured foot. He knew me so well, of course he picked up on my anxiety.
"Yeah, I'm sorry for being so-"
He cut me off. "Don't apologise. Tell me you're alright or tell me what's wrong,"
"Really, there isn't anything wrong with me. It's just the storm…" I trailed off again and he let me go.
"I was thinking while you were in the shower," he began. About me, I hoped.
"About the change in weather, the return to the clouds and rain," he continued. Oh well, he wouldn't admit it if he had been thinking of me anyway. "I couldn't quite place the feelings it evoked in me, we've become so accustomed to it after all. Then I realised what it reminded me of."
I leaned forward in the dark, straining to hear his soft words over the howling wind.
"The feeling you get at the end of summer, when it's time to go back to school and normality, I remember from when I was a boy. When the nights draw in and the sun goes down. It's a strange sense of loss. You can't quite out your finger on it, but it is there,"
I was speechless for a moment. Shocked that he could verbalise my exact feelings. Pleased that he knew my worries weren't about him.
"Sometimes I wonder if you can read my mind," I said. He liked that. I could feel his mood lighten.
"My theory is correct?" he asked, already knowing the answer. I nodded and he opened the living room door.
Unlike the rest of the house, this room wasn't dark. Dozens of candles emitted a flickering light around the room. There was a bright glow and seductive shadows. Edward had arranged a group of church candles of varying heights together on a silver tray, giving the effect of an open fire. In the ground in front of it, he had placed a soft blanket, the one we had lay on in his garden all those days ago, and several plush pillows.
I was rendered speechless, yet again. He had managed to make my shabby living room look romantic and beautiful. I took a closer look at the candles. They were all carefully contained behind glass holders. He was romantic and practical, given my accident prone tendencies.
"Wow," I breathed.
"Did I go overboard?" Edward questioned rapidly. "Alice saw that the power would go and I didn't want to leave you in the dark. She also said it would be safer for you to sleep down here, it's more sheltered. The couch doesn't look that comfortable, lots of loose springs, so I thought the floor would be better. Maybe I should bring down your mattress-"
"It's perfect, Edward. Really," I assured him, sinking down onto the makeshift bed. He let out an audible sigh of relief and gracefully sat down beside me. For several seconds we just listened to the wind. It howled, whistling through the house and sending draughts under the doorways.
Then the rain came. Back with a vengeance after all these dry days. It was soft at first, sparse drops that made little impact. It grew heavier, pounding angrily on the rooftop. I waited for the inevitable clap of thunder to ring out.
Then a thought struck me. "Are you missing baseball tonight? How will I know if I'm hearing thunder or one of Emmett's home-runs?"
He laughed. "You are so unpredictable. The worst storm to hit Forks in years and you're worried if I'm missing baseball?"
I huffed. It was a logical question to me.
"We've had enough team sports lately so no baseball tonight. Besides the rest of them are…otherwise engaged tonight, I think,"
I didn't push him for details.
A clap of thunder rumbled across the sky, scaring me even though I should have been expecting it. My heart pounded and I practically jumped into Edward's arms. I counted down the seconds until I saw lighting. The storm was still quite far away.
"You're not usually so jumpy," he commented, passing me a bottle of water. I drank greedily.
"I know," I sighed, relaxing into his embrace. "It's just the storm. It'll pass," I didn't know if I meant the storm or my mood. It didn't matter.
Another clap of thunder, louder this time, rang out. It made my muscles tense and my jaw snap shut.
"When I was a kid, I used to hide under the bed when there was thunder," I admitted. I hadn't been scared in years though.
Edward pulled me closer as a flash of lightning lit up the room. In that brief moment, I could see a plan forming on his face. His lips pursed together in contemplation.
"Bella?" he asked. "Perhaps I could distract you?"
"How?" I wondered. Nothing could block out the noise of the growing squall. I felt his icy breath hit my neck and he placed a gentle kiss below my ear.
Oh. That was a welcome distraction indeed. "Yes, please," I answered shakily.
Carefully, slowly Edward moved his wintry lips against mine. His kiss was like a gentle breeze. My response, however, was wilder than the gale blowing outside. I threw myself into the kiss, pressing my body against his, winding my fingers into his hair. I kissed him with all the passion I could muster, with the force of a tornado. I needed this. For one more night, I needed to forget reality. I needed to escape into Edward.
To be fair, he caught up quickly. By the time the next thunder-clap broke, he had laid me gently down on the soft blanket. He did this without breaking the kiss and it was much more comfortable than the awkward way I had been twisted on his lap. I lay back and let him settle on top of me.
He rested on his elbow, so I didn't feel his weight. I still felt the outline of his body though, the hard planes of his chest pressing against me. Our legs intertwined, so one of his rested between my thighs. His lips never left mine. He ran his free hand through my tangled hair, gently working out the knots he came across. He moved it to my waist, pulling up my top slightly to trace circles on my hip. When he was done there he returned to my shoulder, letting his thumb graze along my ribs and the side of my breast on the way. He slipped the strap of my shirt down so I was hanging off my shoulder and finally broke the kiss.
"Is this working?" Edward murmured. The delicious scent of his breath was overcoming my senses. Was what working? Oh right, distraction from the storm.
"Yes," I sighed as he lightly sucked on my earlobe. "God, yes," I was consumed by Edward's actions. The storm had almost faded into memory.
"Good," he smirked and went back to my lips.
The kiss was hungry and fierce. He didn't take it too deep, always concerned for my safety and his sharp teeth. But the pressure of his open mouth and the synchronised way we moved was dizzyingly intense. I could hear my heart beat a ragged rhythm against his chest, and he surely felt it.
Edward shifted slightly on top of me, lowering himself so his mouth could reach my neck. I leaned my head back to allow him kiss the delicate skin there. I gasped and ran my hands down his back. I pushed my body up against his, and forced him closer by pushing on the small of his back. He let out a sultry moan, the best sound in the world, his free hand was moving again. Back down the side of my chest, my waist, my thighs until he gripped the back of my knee. He raised it so my foot was flat on the ground and my knee was bent at his waist. I did the same with my other leg and he settled neatly between them, still lavishing attention on my neck.
A particularly loud roar of thunder cracked through the night sky. I flinched unwillingly and pressed my knees into the side of his muscular legs. This forced his lower body to grind into mine and we both moaned at the contact.
"Bella," he growled my name. I think it was meant to be a warning tone but I ignored that. I needed to be close to him. We had been building up to this, skirting around the issue for far too long. I wasn't asking for him to forget our agreement about waiting, I wasn't that brave or selfish anymore. I just wasn't ready for him to break away from me yet. The storm wasn't over yet.
I tugged on his hair, letting him know I wanted to kiss him again. He complied with my wishes and moved his lips, as smooth as polished marble, back to my swollen pliant mouth. His eyes were open and dark with desire. He kissed me like he was trying to do as much as possible in a short space of time. Like he was going to stop soon. It was difficult for Edward, now that he had to have the willpower to stop both me and himself.
If he was going to pull away soon, then I was going to make the most of this. I returned his kiss with fervour, focusing solely on his mouth. I tried to ignore the approaching storm, the hot stirrings that pooled in my lower abdomen and between my thighs, tried to suppress the instinctive urge to keep grinding my hips into his. I couldn't quite stop that one, and our hips and thighs had found their own rhythm. Pushing and pulling. Giving and taking. The friction was welcome, needed, but still not enough.
I sucked on his lower lip and I felt him buck against me. I nibbled and licked the same spot he let out a small grunt. I could taste his sweet breath on my tongue.
His roving hand, which had been rubbing the side of my rib-cage, stilled. I felt his shoulders tense. But he didn't stop kissing me. I thought he was just trying to keep his other instincts, the vampire ones, under control. I had opened the first two buttons on his shirt, but my shaking hands weren't working quick enough to keep up with my impatient hormones.
Instead, I decided to pull his shirt up, starting at the waistband of his jeans to expose his washboard stomach. Under the smooth tight skin, his muscles flexed and contracted. I felt his entire body freeze, apart from his mouth he stopped moving completely. He tried to lift his body off me, to move away but I wasn't having any of it. Why should he always get to decide when to stop?
"Please," he whimpered in the dark. His face was agonisingly beautiful in the candle-light, his expression torn. Please stop or please continue? I chose the option I preferred. I wasn't ready to stop.
I wrapped my legs around his waist, trying to anchor him to me. He was my port in the storm, he couldn't be done distracting me. I kept kissing him passionately, small probing kisses along his lips and jaw. He didn't stop me but his responses were no longer as willing. I locked my ankles behind his back, grinding my hips into his pelvis again.
I felt something hard press against my inner thigh, something I'd never felt before. Edward. Oh. This was new to me.
My eyes flew open in surprise as I realised exactly why he had become hesitant. In a flash, he disentangled himself from my legs and arms. He rolled off me and lay on his back beside me.
I tried to catch my breath, control the panting coming from my mouth. The wind rattled the windows and the candles flickered. Thunder rolled in a steady rumble, each clap followed by a flash of lightning. I glanced at Edward. His eyes were closed and his fists were clenched tight. And the expression on his face….was he ashamed?
He had no reason to be. We were alone. He had promised to distract me from my anxieties. We had been having a wonderful, heated kiss. He'd shown the first tangible, physical sign that he wanted me. Yet, he had jumped off my as if I'd burned him. We were no longer touching and he looked thoroughly embarrassed.
A strong gust of wind blew through the house and quenched most of the candles. A few remained lit, and the room took on an eerie atmosphere.
This wasn't part of the plan. This was meant to be the last night of summer. He was meant to distract my from my fears. Tomorrow, we could go back to bumbling Bella and gentlemanly Edward. Tonight, I just wanted to forget.
"Edward," I called. No response.
How many times was he going to do this? Underestimate himself, his control. Deprive himself of physical gratification. Like he thought he didn't deserve it. Earlier today, he had promised to stop doubting himself and believe I loved every we did together. Yet, here he was. He wouldn't answer me or even look at me.
"Edward," I said again. I sat up and leaned over him. I placed my hand on his cheek to get him to look at me. Finally his eyes opened.
"Sorry," he muttered.
"Don't be."
"But--" I cut him off with a kiss. I felt him smile against my lips but his body was still dense.
"Never apologise for letting me feel that you love me. You can't keep berating yourself like this. It isn't healthy and you're breaking your promise. We're working up to things," I told him.
"It's not proper," he argued. "It's not right for me to lose control in any way,"
"It certainly feels right," I countered. I noticed him smile again.
I hadn't lost him yet.
I swung my leg across him, so I was straddling his stomach. He was lying flat on his back and I hovered over him. I was still aware of the hard tightening in his trousers but I avoided it. I popped open the remaining buttons on his shirt to expose the sculpted muscles of his chest and abdomen to me. I lightly ran my hands along the planes and indentations, the ones I had fantasized about since the first time I had seen them in the meadow. My memory never done them justice. No angel could be lovelier.
"You made me a promise," I reminded him, not caring about how desperate I sounded. "To distract me, to make me forget, to trust yourself,"
I leaned forward, letting my breasts brush against his chest. He sighed. His expression changed, from uncertainty to resolve and I took my opportunity to kiss him.
The way we were positioned gave me the upper-hand. I could control the depth and frequency of our kisses. His hands moved to grip my waist.
"Are you sure?" he whispered urgently between kisses. "Tell me again,"
"I want this," I assured him, circling my hips in confirmation.
"Tell me if I hurt you, even in the slightest way," he demanded.
"I will," I promised. I wasn't the masochist in this relationship.
"We've been so patient, resisted so long. We need this…" he mumbled. I don't know of he was talking to me or himself.
"We do," I concurred.
With that agreed, Edward made good on his promise to distract me.
He sat up, in a movement too fast for me to process. His lips crashed against mine, his body enveloped me. There was a new determination in his kiss, a sense of purpose. I was now straddling his lap, rather than his stomach. I felt the length of his arousal strain against his jeans and press into my core. Instantly, I felt my underwear grow hot and damp.
We had never been this intimate before. This was unexplored territory for us both. I had imagined it, dreamed about it, read about it, learned about it. This was a million times better.
I couldn't help but rock my hips above him, sliding along his length. Edward responded by thrusting upwards, pushing into my heat. Every nerve in my body was coiled tight, ready to spring. The tension had been building unbearably. This entire hot spell was like one long foreplay session. Finally, the tension would break.
Guided by his hands, we fell into a steady and somewhat clumsy rhythm. The friction was stimulating, the restriction of our clothes made it seem exciting and almost forbidden. But still I wanted more.
The storm was directly overhead. The thunder was ear-splitting and the rain fell in relentless sheets. Lightning flashed like strobe lights, sporadically illuminating the room. It was wild, frantic, unnerving.
It was nothing compared to what was building inside me. It was as if Edward and I were at the centre of a whirlwind. Every cell was alive and on fire, overwhelmed by the proximity of Edward's perfect body. His scent surrounded me, his hands were everywhere-in my hair, on my back, rubbing my legs. Between us there was hot and cold, hard and soft. We were at the centre of our own world. All that existed was Edward and I.
He broke our fevered kiss, choosing to assault my flushed neck with his lips. I let my head fall back as he placed wet, open mouthed kisses all across my neck, collarbone and chest. Licking, tasting and cooling the overheated skin. His nose skimmed the hollow of my throat, before he kissed the crook of my neck and then my shoulders. The straps had already fallen so there was no barriers. The tank top barely covered my heaving breasts. In any other circumstances the loudness of my breathing would be embarrassing. At that moment, I was too aroused to care about anything but keeping Edward as close as possible.
I had been gripping his shoulders for support. It prevented him having the access he wanted to my neck so I leaned right back. I supported my weight with my hands and maintained the satisfying friction. Edward moved with me, gasping my name and declarations of love between kisses. I had no voice to answer him.
He moved his lips lower, licking across the swell of my cleavage above the seam of my shirt. He looked at me, his eyes were slightly glazed with desire, and seeing I had no objection moved his kisses lower.
The entire outline of my breasts must have been visible through the light fabric. They felt heavier and tighter than usual. He nuzzled against me, moving in a circle that took in the whole fullness of my breast-the crease, the hollow between them, the sensitive underside. He didn't go near the centre.
I found my voice and groaned his name in frustration. At the sound of his name, or maybe it was the way I said it, I felt his solid…penis (God, I felt embarrassed even thinking the word,) twitch and harden against the throbbing apex of my thighs. He smiled wickedly at me and attached his mouth to the erect nipple in the middle of the heaving mound. Through the material of my shirt, he swirled his icy tongue around the outside before kissing and gently sucking the bud. I hissed in pleasure and ground my aching core into him with more force than I knew I possessed.
He repeated his action on the other breast, repeatedly flicking his talented tongue against the hard peak while I bucked wildly against him. This was a form of torture, insanely pleasurable, but tortuous nonetheless. The feeling of teetering close to the edge but not being able to move any further. A kind of limbo.
I fell backwards onto the pillow he'd set up, whimpering and moaning uncontrollably. He moved with me. Settling back between my legs and controlling the pace of the awkward thrusting. He angled slightly and hit a spot that made me cry out.
"Did I hurt you?" he demanded, taking me surprise and stopping his movements.
"No!" I shouted. This torture wasn't painful.
"Do you want to stop?" He was concerned.
"Do you have to?" I tended to forget how trying this might be for him. He hid it so well.
"No," He was more than pleased with himself, I could tell he was proud of his control. "This is even better than I could imagine. Being with you like this, it feels divine,"
He kissed me sweetly. The loving movements of his lips were almost as pleasurable as the sensation of him rubbing against the yearning place between my thighs. Almost.
"Bella, can I touch you?" he asked.
"You already are," I replied. I was confused and slightly irritated at him for breaking his kiss.
"Really touch you," he clarified. I blushed at my gaffe, though I doubted it was noticeable. I was already burning with desire.
"Of course," I replied. "You never have to ask,"
I knew this would bring me the release my body was craving. I writhed in anticipation as he shifted his body to the side. His right hand slowly travelled downwards, leaving a wake of fire in it's path. That edgy feeling I had earlier returned. I wanted this more than almost anything, it came second only to my desire to have all of him inside me. But still, I was nervous. What if I did something wrong?
"Relax, love," he urged. "Your poor heart is getting quite the workout. Stop thinking. Forget, like you wanted. Just give in,"
I bit my lip as he traced his index finger along my lower abdomen, back and forth from hip to hip. I took deep steadying breaths as he untied the strings of my pants.
"I love you," he vowed.
I smiled weakly. " I love you more,"
Edward shook his head and moved his hand past the band of my trousers. He didn't remove any clothes and I was strangely glad for that. He hesitated there and instinctively I thrust my hips up to meet him. I opened my legs further, to allow him easier access. He cupped me outside my underwear. They were soaking wet and my arousal had leaked onto my thighs. I knew this was a natural reaction, but I still felt embarrassed that it was so obvious. He could probably even smell it.
With the slightest pressure, he pressed against my swollen sex through the damp fabric.
"More, please more," I pleaded.
"You don't have to beg," he declared with a kiss. "Ever."
Then he slipped his hand inside my panties. He ran his fingers through my curls and rubbed the flat of his palm against me. His icy fingers felt shockingly good as they made contact with my moist heat.
"So warm," he breathed into my neck.
His index finger moved easily around my slick opening, up and down a few time and causing me to moan. He flicked the swollen bundle of nerves and I whimpered his name. I had never, ever felt anything like it. It sent sparks throughout my whole self. Still I needed more.
He rubbed my clitoris again and I noticed my pelvis was gyrating in a steady, primal pace. I bit my lip to suppress a scream.
The brutal cacophony of the storm outside had faded to background noise. The real storm, the wildness I had worried about was going on in this small room. Nothing existed but Edward and I. All I felt and saw was him.
His face was too gorgeous in the dim candlelight. It was positively breath-taking when lightning illuminated the room. His eyes were focused and his mouth was set in careful concentration. But from time to time, his mouth would shift into a lazy, satisfied grin. He was enjoying his work, that much was evident and it pleased him to see me squirm with pleasure.
Oh, that indescribable pleasure. I had nothing to compare it to, but I imagined nothing could match the sensation of his talented finger exploring the most intimate part of me. My shallow breathing was embarrassingly loud, or it would have been humiliating, if I could bring myself to care.
I couldn't even really fathom how wonderful this felt. I had no parallels to draw from. My eyes rolled back in my head a little, I licked my lips and Edward's too as we kissed. His fingers continued to gently knead my throbbing sex. He paused and I felt him move one to slip one inside me. I though it would be uncomfortable but it was the furthest thing from it. I knew then, that it was what I had been wanting and needing all along-to feel him inside me, to fill me.
"Edward. Yes." I whimpered, circling my pelvis to urge him on. I opened my eyes and the look on his face was one of wonder.
He withdrew his finger, then slid it back in. His name, and other prayers, fell from my lips. Lava was coursing through my veins, threatening to spill over the edge and take me with it. I was drowning in the fiery pleasure that was Edward.
I suddenly felt extremely selfish. I was a terrible fiancée, lying back and experiencing mind-blowing sensations while he was neglected. I had to act before my body turned to liquid.
I continued to pant and moan as Edward slowly pumped his finger in and out of me. There really was no end to his talent. I reached out in the dark, lowering my hand from where I had gripped his strong shoulder. I reached his jeans and ran my fingers down the still straining zipper. Edward hissed and added a second finger to his ministrations.
I cupped the solid organ outside the fabric. He moved his fingers just a little faster. It was harder than I had envisioned, bigger too. I couldn't imagine how it would ever fit inside me. The marvel of Edward's fingers massaging the most sensitive part of me was such that I wanted to do the same for him. I was nervous, but I could do this for him.
Before I lost my nerve, I fumbled the button of his jeans. I opened it and went to open the zipper. Edward caught my wrist, holding it in place.
"Wait, Bella," he told me huskily. "You don't have to-"
"I want to," I countered, opening the zip and freeing him from the confines of his pants. His erection stood straight and thick, pointing upwards and making a triangle in his boxers. His finger was making the tiniest, almost imperceptible movements inside me. Teasing and pleasing. Edward wasn't taking advantage of his speed at all tonight. This wasn't a sprint, it was a marathon. I didn't know exactly what the finish line would bring, but I knew I wanted to get there.
Tentatively, ran my finger along his length from base to tip. Edward groaned, the loudest I had ever heard him and clenched his jaw shut. Mimicking what he had done to me, I swallowed my fear and slipped my hand into his underwear. Into the uncharted territory. He was still holding my wrist. I tangled my fingers in the soft curls that that trailed down from his navel. Edward drove his fingers into me a little bit more forcefully, and without thinking I gripped his shaft. It was ice cold and shockingly smooth, like polished marble. When I touched it, I felt it jump in my hand and Edward hissed through his teeth. Maybe I'd been too rough?
"Is this alright?" I panted. The way he was touching me made it impossible to speak clearly.
"It's wonderful. You're wonderful," he told me. His smooth voice was lower than usual. He sounded so erotic, it made my insides melt.
I squeezed him tighter, he raised his hips and pulled his jeans down to his knees. Like me, he was keeping his clothes on and I was glad. I wasn't ready to see all of him. I wanted to keep something for our honeymoon, when it would be romantic and special.
His free hand was still wrapped around my wrist, the other occupied with building a sweet agony inside me. Perhaps sensing that I didn't know what to do next, it was so hard to think of anything but the feeling of him caressing me, he began to guide my hand up and down his shaft. We found a synchronised rhythm, my movements matched his thrusts. He showed me how to twist my wrist and vary the pressure of my hold. After a few strokes, he let go of my hand, ceding control to me. I knew what to do now.
I loved that we were doing this together, exploring and figuring out what we liked. I loved that I was the only one to ever touch him like this. I loved that he liked it.
I forced my eyes open, and the dark room was lit up for a second. In that brief time, I saw the most perfect, thrilling sight of my life. Edward's face was too beautiful, he was concentrating deeply and his hair fell into his closed eyes. His perfect pink lips, were parted slightly. He looked like that for me, because of me. I could hardly comprehend how amazing it felt.
I continued to stroke his length, using long even movements and circling my thumb around the head. The faster I moved, the harder he thrust inside me. He would pull out, and massage my swollen, hyper-sensitive clitoris, rolling it between two fingers and making me cry out.
I was gasping and moaning incomprehensibly. My hips were rolling of their own accord. I was close to something new and terrifying.
Like an approaching storm, the pressure was building. Warm front met cold front and something had to give. What was the word Edward used? Unbearable. The pleasure he was giving me was too much to bear.
His lips found mine again, deliciously icy as they crashed against me. We needed to be as connected as possible in that moment. His talented fingers continued to work wonders inside me and I no longer had to think about what I was doing. Our actions were primal and instinctive, as I persisted to stroke him as fast as my hand could move.
His free hand caressed my back, sending tingles up and down my spine before coming to rest on my breast. His lips never moved away from mine, hovering above them when I needed to breath. He fondled and tweaked my nipple as I squeezed his shaft. Over the wailing wind, I heard him utter my name repeatedly. Then, he angled his fingers deeper inside me and I reached that dizzying high we'd been climbing to.
I couldn't help it. I let out a scream that could be heard above the rolling thunder and howling wind. Lightning flashed behind my closed eyelids. Intense quakes of immeasurable pleasure racked through me. Every muscle tensed, my walls clamped around his fingers. My lower body thrashed and lifted right off the ground. My free hand gripped the blanket, seeking something to hold me to this earth, and my toes curled as I rode out the waves. I squeezed and pulled his organ with all my strength, I had no control over my body now. I was a quivering mess, entirely dominated by Edward's touch. A single tear rolled down my clammy cheek.
I heard Edward grunt my name and felt his penis harden further in my fist. I forced my eyes open, my body still shuddering, in time to see his face scrunch in the most beautiful picture of pleasure and agony. One more stroke, and he let out a strangled cry. His whole body stiffened and he reached his climax.
Edward collapsed beside me and buried his face in my hair. My breathing was slowly returning to normal and I suddenly felt exposed. Edward grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around my shivering body. We didn't speak. There was no need for promises of forever and declarations of love. There were no words for a long time. We just held each other and listened to the storm.
"Bella?" he finally murmured. "Love, are you alright?"
What a silly question. "Of course. I'm better than alright. I'm ecstatic,"
He sounded disbelieving. "You're not….hurt?" he verified.
"I've never felt better," I reassured him. "And you?"
"Do you have to ask?" he teased. Then all traces of humour left his golden voice. "I feel like I'm in heaven,"
"So do I," I agreed. He pulled me even closer and reverently, sweetly, kissed my fluttering eyelids, my cheeks, my forehead and my lips.
I was satisfied, exhausted and truly spent. I was never more relaxed in my life. I listened to him hum the tune of my lullaby and soon I succumbed to sleep, safe in the arms of my love.
All night long, the storm raged on. Edward and I remained untouched by it.
Well? Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you thought of that. This chapter was the most nerve-wracking one for me to post so I want to hear your views.