Tuesday, March 13, 3:03 PM

The Gym

Gretchen

I glance down at the list I prepared especially for doing this, my hair falling into my face. I blow it away as I look down. Being sure that I'll cover everything that I want to, I crumple up the list, peek out the doors, and, after being sure that there aren't any custodians right outside, push the insanely heavy doors open and step outside into the hallway.

I've attempted to avoid this conversation all year. I tried to have it at the very beginning, but because my former best friend freaked out so much about my startling new appearance, I figured it was better to hold it off until she could get the image fresh in her mind and then finally have a good, civil talk with me.

Quite frankly, one would think that I would have had this conversation with Isabella far before I went this far, dressing so unlike myself and smoking to get my true feelings about what's happened out. But, alas, I did not. And while I've been angry with Isabella for many, many years because of her ignorance/naivety to what was even going on, I still feel that she has the right to know why I'm angry. So that's why I am going to catch her off guard and talk to her in an impromptu manner.

Before I went 'missing' around the middle of last summer, Isabella and I compared schedules for the next year. Well, actually...Isabella told me her schedule. I had one, but didn't tell her, for...reasons that I'll explain later.

"So, Gretchen," Isabella said excitedly as I walked into Phineas and Ferb's backyard. Phineas had already greeted me, of which I had simply just nodded, and I was making my way to the end of the yard when she had interrupted that.

"Yes?" was my reply, turning around and crossing my arms, mentally groaning.

"Do you have your schedule?" she wondered. God, she was practically bouncing in her step. "I have mine, and I have really good classes. I'm excited for them."

"No," I said truthfully. "I don't. Have my schedule, I mean."

"Oh." Isabella frowned. "That's odd. I wonder why that is."

"Yeah." I chuckle nervously, looking away and praying to God that somebody else would come into the backyard. Why did I have to be the second one there? "I...wonder why."

She shrugged. "Oh, well. It doesn't matter. Hey, can I tell you mine?" I didn't even say anything before she started talking. Again. She said some stuff about her classes, and I don't even remember what she said other than the fact that she was staying after school for some kind of journalism thing every day. And then Emily Kinney walked into the yard, so Isabella stopped talking to me and went over to her. Typical.

It's a good thing I remembered what she said, because now I'm taking that to my advantage and meeting her in the computer lab, where the Journalism classes take place during the school day. She, if I recall correctly, is the head of the newspaper here at the high school, and I have to admit, she's good at it. Even when we were Fireside Girls and editing the Fireside Girls Gazette, which really, not many people bought, she was good at it. I'm not surprised that it's what she wants to do for her future career.

The computer lab is in the English section, which really isn't far from the gym, so it's not long before I reach it. I peer inside the little window attached to the door to see, to my relief, that only Isabella is in there, typing away on the computer. I notice the way she's always chewing on her hair and looking nervous, which surprises me a little. Normally, she seems so confident in herself. Now...not so much.

Taking a deep breath and praying that this will go well, I push open the door and take in the setting. Obviously, being a computer lab, there are about 30 computers in here sitting on top of really long, antiquated-looking wooden desks, and there are chairs in front of each one. The chairs look insanely uncomfortable with the way the backs are positioned, completely straight up and down and stiff.

Isabella turns around at the sound of my arrival, and she turns around. A startled look is painted on her face, and I have to wonder how often people come in here when she's working. From her expression...probably not often. "Oh, hello," she states without even looking at me. "What do you..." That's when she looks up, finally, and at the sight of me, her eyes widen. Her face turns eerily pale. "Oh, God-"

"Wait," I interrupt before she can say anything further. She halts her talking, looking at me fearfully instead. I roll my eyes. "Isabella, I'm not a freaking witch about to turn you into a frog. I'm freaking Gretchen, and I know that you hate frogs. Talk to me like you always have." I decide to sit down in one of the stiff chairs, one that's right next to her.

My former Fireside Girls troop leader hesitates. "Well...um...all right." She has a skeptical look on her face, though.

"All right." I move the chair away from the table so that I can cross one of my legs over the other. It'll make this seat semi-comfortable, if anything. "First off...you probably have no idea what the hell happened to me. Am I correct when I say that?"

"Please don't use that language," is the first thing she says in reply. She looks away, biting her lip and running one finger through her hair. "And...yes. I really, really don't."

I nod. "Fair enough. So...where do you want me to start?"

Isabella glances uneasily at her computer screen, as if the thing she's typing is so utterly important that she can't listen to me talk. I've listened to her talk while I was quiet so many times for the past seven years. It's about time the roles were reversed, and she knows it, too. I can see it in those big blue eyes of hers that look like the calm, flowing waters of Hawaii.

Since she isn't talking, I assume she just wants me to start at the beginning. I sigh, knowing that this part is going to be the hardest to tell. After all...she and Emily are best friends. I clear my throat and start to tell the story that I've so far only told Adyson and Milly, and even for them, it was limited. "So, I'm going to begin this tale by going back to the summer your boyfriend and his brother started to invent."

She perks up. "Phineas? What does he have to do with this?"

"Nothing really," I inform her. "Phineas still doesn't have an idea that any of this has happened. He still thinks we're all best friends, when, as you know... we're definitely not."

Isabella nods slowly, looking disappointed. I resist the urge to roll my eyes again/

"All right...so, do you remember the day I met Emily Kinney?"

"My best friend, Emily Kinney?"

I roll my eyes. "No, Emily Kinney, the drug dealer," I sarcastically inform her, and her cheeks flush. "Yes, your best friend. Anyway, so it was about a week after she came, and we, the Fireside Girls, were helping out with an invention, when she came into the yard."

I looked up at the mirror, wiping one of the smudges on it away and adjusting my round, wire-framed glasses at the same time. "It looks about done, Chief."

Isabella, as well as the other Fireside Girls, took a look at it. Some of them were gaping. "Holy cow, Gretchen," Adyson said incredulously. "How did you get that done so fast?"

"I don't know," I said somewhat smugly, feeling a sense of pride. Though I never liked to admit it, I liked to be the center of attention once in a while in our group. Usually, that attention went to Isabella, not that it was undeserved. After all, she was the leader. "I just know what Phineas and Ferb like, so I know to get it done quickly."

"How come nobody knows what Baljeet likes?" Ginger whined. Milly and Katie gave her weird looks.

Isabella, deliberately ignoring Ginger, walked up to my mirror, examining it while placing her hand under her chin. She nodded, smiling at me. "Looks great, Gretchen. Phineas and Ferb's House of Mirrors: With Slapstick Comedy Added, will be able to be done even more quickly with your help." She looked at the others. "With all of you, of course-"

"Um, excuse me?" we heard someone say, and we all turned around to see a girl with blond hair and a blue hair bow walk up to us. On her face was a confused expression. "Where's Ferb?"

"Who are you?" Holly wondered, and the girl blushed slightly.

"Emily Kinney," she informed us. Emily then offered a smile. "Hello, Isabella. What are you lot making?"

"...And that's when she started helping us, and then I praised her work, saying it was the best..." Isabella's voice trails off. "Oh."

"That's what started all of it," I tell her, nodding. "You picking Emily over me as the best. It was just a childhood rivalry thing, but it grew over time."

"How much?" Isabella's eyes grow wide. "Wait. So...you're telling me that you and Emily were never actually friends like you claimed to be?"

"I'm sure Emily thought we were. She's...too nice to realize what she's actually doing or saying half the time. But..." I shrug. "You are correct."

"...Oh," she says again. "Well...um..."

"To put it simply, I held that grudge for her all throughout childhood, especially when you started hanging out with her more often. And whenever we would have a conversation, Emily would just kind of butt in, and you would start talking to her, ignoring me. It's always been like that."

Isabella stares at me, her expression undefinable. "Oh..."

"Before long, high school started. And since we were both honors students...we had many classes together. You were in them as well. When we had projects together? You guys worked together and ignored me. When we would review for a test? You guys worked together and ignored me. When we changed our seats? You guys sat together and ignored me. When we-"

"Stop." She swallows. "I get it. I was a jerk." She takes a shuddery breath. "I...didn't think it was really affecting you, though, us being friends. You never said anything."

I blink, not really knowing how to reply. She does have a point. "Well...yes." I clear my throat. "I...should have said something earlier."

"Before...this happened." Isabella gestures at me again, taking a tissue from a random box and blowing her nose. "I didn't know you were going to go this crazy. Nobody did." She blinks a few times and looks up at the ceiling, trying to avoid the tears from falling. "Oh, and...I have some questions for you."

"Questions? Also known as interrogative statements?" I raise my eyebrows. "Ask them."

"Um...why do you live under the bleachers? And...why don't you go to your classes, at the very least?"

I freeze. I didn't think she would be able to think about either of those things. Isabella sees my expression, quickly backtracking. "I mean, you don't have to say, but-"

"No," I decide to reply. I gulp. I've never explained this part to anyone, not even Adyson or Milly. They've never asked. "I... have to. You asked me at the beginning of the year why I was the way I was. Or, to put it in your exact words..." I begin to imitate her. "'What happened''?"

She nods, a tiny smile playing at her lips, and waits for me to continue.

"Since you've waited since September for the answer to that question, since I blew you off at the time...you deserve it right now as we sit in this stuffy computer lab. By the way..." I wrinkle my nose, suddenly realizing how bad it smells in here. "How do you come in here every day?"

"I'm used to it." She shrugs, not wanting to say any more, clearly.

So, therefore, I begin. "This past summer...was hard. Extremely hard. Obviously, it was the summer before our senior year, and I was preparing for this year more than I had prepared for any other year. Plus, things at home weren't that great, with my parents announcing their divorce to my sisters and I."

"Your parents got divorced?" Isabella gasps. "Oh my God. I'm sorry."

I shrug. "It was about time it happened. We all knew it was coming; they hadn't talked to each other or anything in forever. But anyway, changing the subject back to what really happened in the summer that affected me, I was studying like crazy for all of the exams I knew that I would be taking. I hadn't gotten my schedule yet, but I knew what classes were offered for seniors. I knew I would be taking all Advanced Placement. Not to sound arrogant."

"I know you didn't mean to."

"Good. So, again, I was studying so often that I sometimes couldn't make it to Phineas and Ferb's. Actually...very often, I couldn't make it."

"I remember."

"This all continued until, one day, my mother received a phone call from a certain Ivy League school. As to what that school was...I don't remember. But they told her..." I can't help but smile at this, even if the aftereffects are painful. "That they were impressed with me and wanted me to attend there a whole year early. I wouldn't even have to attend my last year of school."

"Can you do that?" Isabella's eyes are wider than they have been, yet.

"Technically, I already had enough credits to graduate, which is what I should have done," I explain. "But I didn't, which ended up being... a huge mistake in the long run."

"Why? What happened?"

"See..." I sigh. "The high school informed them after their call to me and after my mother told them about it that I hadn't yet graduated and wouldn't be able to until the end of my senior year. After all, it would be pretty stupid to have me graduate in the summer."

"No, it wouldn't," Isabella argues. "What difference does it make?"

"I don't know, but...the college shot me down after the high school told them that, also informing me that I wouldn't be allowed to apply next year since what I had done was 'irresponsible'."

Isabella's hand flies up to her mouth. "No!"

"Yes. Unfortunately."

"How the heck is that irresponsible? Who do they think they are?"

"Who cares? But anyway, after this happened, I...had a bit of a breakdown. All that had happened to me over the past seven years, all of my issues with you and Emily, always being pushed to the side in our large group of friends, being treated like bird crap...finally left me and exploded that day. The college changing its mind about me was the last straw. I went insane."

"Um..." She hesitates. "Define 'insane'."

"As in..." I reach up to grab pieces of my hair, most of it grown out past my shoulders now. "Dying my hair like this, with permanent dyes of various colors, which explains why I have multicolored hair except for three inches of brown up top. I...haven't re-dyed since September."

Isabella looks up at my hair, not being able to help but wince at it. I don't think she's ever really gotten a good look at it. "Oh."

"I also burned some random things, and...I dyed my clothes black as well as bought some things, such as what you see on me now. That was also the day in which I had my first cigarette. By the way...I could use one right now..."

"Not in here," Isabella says urgently as I pull out my pack from my pocket. "If you have to...don't do it in here."

"No, of course not. I was kidding." I roll my eyes, putting the cigarettes away. "The school would get sued if cigarette smoke was found in the building. That's why I always do it in the gym or in the bleachers. The gym already smells bad enough as it is, and the bleachers...well, nobody goes in there."

"Why do you live there?"

"...I ran away," I inform her after a moment's hesitation. "I was so upset and so ashamed at myself for all that happened, for feeling like such a joke...that the next morning, the morning after the evening in which I went crazy, I left a note explaining my reasons for leaving, all of which you already know...and then I left. I kind of broke into the school since there's practically no security here, and, well...they still don't know where I am."

Isabella's face is twisted with pain. "So you're telling me that you've been missing for the past six months, at least, to them?"

"Well...we're still in contact. We talk all the time on the phone and stuff. They know I'm alive. I just...haven't told them where I am. Ariel and Tara actually did see me in the hallway a few weeks ago, but...obviously, they didn't recognize me under all of...this."

"Ariel and Tara...? Oh, your sisters."

"Almost seventeen years old and fifteen years old. Yep, I know who they are."

"But..." Isabella pauses. "If they saw you...why didn't you tell them who you were?"

"I didn't want to freak them out." I give her a look. "What did you think? If you had a sister, do you think, that after not seeing her for six months, you would want to see her looking nothing like she did the last time you saw her? And in a bad way?"

She hesitates. "Well...no. I see your point." Isabella finally truly looks into my eyes, which I didn't feel like putting as much makeup around today, for some reason. "Seriously though, Gretchen...I don't mean to sound like I don't care, but...you need to get over what's happened. And to start that...I need to apologize. I am insanely sorry."

"For what?" I cross my arms and uncross my legs, which were starting to feel crampy from sitting in that position for so long.

"For...being a bad friend. I mean..." She sniffs. "Emily and I will always be friends. Nothing will change that."

"I know."

"...But I shouldn't have been so ignorant to you when she arrived in Danville. Really, Gretchen...I'm so sorry all of this has happened to you. You...had such a bright future, too." Isabella sighs. "Now what are you going to do? We can't make things go back to the way they were at this point. It's March. You can't change back."

"Who says I want to change back?"

Isabella blinks at me, halting her near-tears. This was not the response she was expecting, and the look on her face makes that clear. "Um...what?"

"I don't want to change back. You know that from the way I've been talking to you."

"Do I?" She looks at me harder, giving me the look she gives when she's trying to appear to be intimidating but failing miserably. "Do I know you?" She stands up, now, and points to me. "You're telling me that you told me your whole life story, about why you are the way you are now, and you don't want to change back? Are you joking with me?"

Well. This conversation took quite the turn. Now I'm feeling ill at ease. Isabella's tone is starting to get scary. That's never a good thing. "Well, it wouldn't make sense. Like you said, it's March. I can't change back to the way I was at this point." I notice that my voice is shaking.

"Why? Why not?" Now she's full-out screaming, and I resist the urge to cover my ears. "You could go back to your house if you want to and sleep in an actual bed. You could eat food not from the cafeteria. You could see all of us on a regular basis again. You could go to freaking school and learn more. You yourself told me that you love to learn not so long ago. Yet, what do you do? You choose this."

"Isabella." I swallow. "Please. You've got to understand-"

"But I don't," she interrupts. "I don't understand why you can't be like a normal person and-"

"I don't want to hear any more." I try to swallow the lump in my throat, but it's not going away. "You don't understand. Your life... is perfect. Mine?" I finally let a few tears fall, releasing a little bit of the lump. "Was crap. Freaking...crap, regardless of what you believe. But you wouldn't understand." I walk back towards the door of the computer lab. "I shouldn't have talked to you. It was the worst idea I've ever had."

"Gretchen-" Her voice cracks.

"Go away." I open the door, blinking repeatedly. It's probably a very good thing I barely put any makeup on this morning. "I never want to see you again."

"You don't mean that." Damn it. She's crying like the annoying priss she is. "Gretchen, you don't mean that-"

"But I do." At that point, I slam the door and run down the hallway as fast as I can, hoping she doesn't follow me.

She doesn't.

Next Chapter Preview: After another tutoring session, Django comes over to visit Lilly, where she confesses to him something she's been keeping in for a while.

*groans* GOD...so much drama. This is a terrible Phineas and Ferb fanfiction. It really, really is...yet, I love to write it. It's really kind of a "What if?" kind of story, you know? I mean...I know none of what's happened in this story would actually happen in the show. As in, none of this. I get that. But it's still so fun to write and think about what would happen if it did. I don't know.

Oh, and for those of you asking me about how much longer this story will be...I'm estimating around fifteen more chapters. Hey, there's still a lot of material to cover. XD Patience will be needed from you guys for all of these conflicts to wrap up.