Okay. So here is the aftermath- I'm not happy with it, but this is as good as it gets. I posted the separate story under My Confession. That is where the lemon was. This is the aftermath. I figured it just went so fast that there would be kinks and issues. I'm sorry this took so long, but damn it that other thing was hard to write, and lets face it, despite popular belief Jean does have a demanding job she must go to. Anyways, on with the show. Let's get the after drama out of the way so we can get on to bigger and better things- like Kai coming back really soon! Yay for that. So yeah…I oly included this because adding the next bits to it makes it seem like plot is progressing to quickly in a short time span. So we got to space these chapters out (sweatdrop)


Claire's POV

"Claire! Claire, open the damn door," Gray's voice came through, though this time it was muffled behind the thick wood of the bathroom door. I wrapped the blanket tighter around me, resting my chin on top of my folded up knees.

Why had I let this happen?

I closed my eyes tightly as I heard him rap his knuckles on the door again, and I could almost see him in my mind, a scowl on his face as he tried in vain to get me to open the locked door. I refused to answer him, though my chest ached terribly at the tone of his voice.

"Please, Claire, open the door. I'm sorry," he pleaded, and I heard him slide down the door, wincing when his head no doubt threw back and banged against it.

He shouldn't be sorry. It had been my fault. I hadn't told him to stop.

But for the love of the Harvest Goddess I was so conflicted.

Because the fact was I hadn't wanted to stop. And that scared me.

I had held onto that part of me for so long, and yet I was willing to cast it aside after those three words.

I love you doesn't mean the same thing to guys that it does girls, Clarabelle. Guys will tell that to girls, just to get in their pants.

I winced at the phrase so many of the boys I had grown up with had told me, Jack included. And even though I knew that wasn't Gray's intention, the fact was it was going so fast.

Just because he told me he loved me, didn't mean that I had to sleep with him in the same damn day.

And yet where the hell was I this morning? Laying in bed with the man. And once my half asleep mind had registered why his arm was snuggly around my bare waist, and why my face was pressed against his bare chest, I had…

Panicked.

And then before I could try to calm myself down the man had woke up. And in an innocent display of our new found affection, he had caused me to snap and all hell to break loose. The result of a morning kiss and his large hand splaying flat against my bare back had earned him a squeak and a rough push away.

Then I'd snatched the blanket and ran for the bathroom.

And now of all things I felt guilty.

Because of that look on his face when I pushed him away.

"I didn't plan on this happening," Gray's voice interrupted my thoughts, his tone low and somewhat regretful. "And I'm sorry that you're upset about it, but I'm not sorry it happened."

I sighed and reached up, popping the lock. The door came open, stopped by my legs as I leaned against the wall, looking at his shocked face. "I know. I'm not mad at you," I forced out, my voice hoarse and cracked. I swallowed the lump in my throat, taking a deep breath and shaking my head. "I'm just…not ready. And I let it go too far."

"Claire," he began, shaking his head and moving so he rested against the frame of the door, facing me. He didn't try to touch me, or reach out for me, though I knew Gray well enough to know he probably wanted to pull me against his chest in an awkward hug, especially when tears began to escape my eyes.

"It's not right of me to let things get that far, to let you get all worked up and let it happen, and to push you away the next day." I muttered, burying my face in my legs.

"It's fine," he mumbled, a snort leaving him. "I shouldn't have tried to escalate anything. I just told you how I feel. You're confused; you haven't had time to think about it…"

"Then why did it happen?" I blurted out, my face bright red as I peeked a glance at him. He shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck and looking away.

"I…I don't know what I was thinking," he mumbled, his face flushing darkly. "You just…were so responsive to me." My face flushed all the darker, much to the point where my vision blurred some and I had to shake my head.

"It can't happen again, not like this," I said quietly, my eyes meeting his as I tried to force myself to keep eye contact. "I'm not ready, for that…and when it comes to you…I seem to have a very difficult time saying no."

Gray's eyes widened and though he broke eye contact, I had to frown at the small smirk that made its way across his lips.

"No need to get a swelled head," I muttered, snuggling deeper into the blanket. I my face flushed as I did, and I glanced past Gray and towards the living room. "Can you…go get me some clothes to change in to? My overalls are on my dresser, and so is my flannel shirt," I whispered, watching as the man got up, disappearing into my room. My eyes drifted over to the dress pooled on the floor by the couch, and I groaned at the sight of it.

Sex complicated things.

And Gray's and mine relationship was already complicated enough.

"Here," his voice brought me out of my thoughts, and I took the offered clothing, shutting the door and getting dressed.

The question now was what would happen next. Where did we go from here?

I had only recently realized my feelings for Gray. They were still new, undefined. Fuzzy. Not to mention I didn't know exactly where his own stood.

He loves me.

But for how long? Was is just a passing attraction?

Gray and I had always had a type of chemistry, especially physically, even before we were friends when Kai locked us in that damn closet. It was a spark that had always been there. And now it seemed stronger. But what if it fizzled?

Was a passing attraction something worse losing Gray over?

Not to me.

And though it seemed stupid given all the facts and how he had treated me over the last several months, I couldn't help but to wonder how serious he was about this. After all it was hard to believe a man loved you when less than fifteen minutes later he was stripping you down to your knickers.

I think that is what got me the most about it all, even though I knew that Gray didn't mean for it to happen, that it wasn't his intention…I couldn't shake the anger at the fact that he slipped his hand under my skirt the same day he confessed he loved me…

You weren't complaining at the time…

But now I was. For Goddess sake, I had just come to terms with my feelings for the man. And what about safety issues that came with what occurred last night?

For Goddess sake what if I got pregnant?!

I gripped my hair, letting out a long low groan and the thought. I kicked the base of the sink in frustration, which only resulted in the bathroom door opening roughly. I saw the worried look on his face, and only kicked the sink again.

"What were we both thinking?" I snapped, hugging myself tightly. "You… you didn't even use any protection," I mumbled, my face flushing brightly. Gray mirrored the blush, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I…I don't know how much you know about all that stuff," he began, his eyes looking pointedly down at the floor. "But…I did the best I could, considering I was out a condom," he offered meekly, shrugging his shoulders.

"But it doesn't matter, does it?" I asked, biting my lip worriedly.

" Well, honestly, it's how it was done before the pill, and before the condom, so…its got to have some level of efficiency. It's too late to think about it now," he said firmly, offering me a weak smile. "If I screwed up…it will be ok in the end, wont it?"

"No, it wont," I snapped, turning on the sink and splashing some cold water on my face. "I…we…don't need to have this kind of an issue at this time. For Goddess sake, I haven't even gained all my weight back from before…" I trailed off there, looking down at my flat tummy.

I didn't want a baby…

And I really didn't want to have a baby with complications because my body was weak when I conceived.

"It wouldn't be good, for the baby, or me," I mumbled quietly, fingers bushing over the denim overalls that covered me.

"What?" Gray whispered, and I finally looked at him, feeling guilt and regret tugging at my heart strings at the pained expression on his face.

"Gray…I might be…have been innocent, but I have read about things. My body…is weak right now. It's still recovering from my depression. Having a baby…would be bad for both of us. The baby would probably be tiny, and maybe premature because I'm so small right now. And…I could have complications." I paused, watching as his eyes widened some in understanding, and the hurt slowly leaving his face. "I could miscarry too. And…I don't think I would handle it well," I added gently, shaking my head.

"Claire…"

"And there is also the fact that we, as a couple, or whatever we are right now, don't need a baby this early on. I would at least like to have a good idea of what we share defined, before it results in a child."

Gray remained silent for a long time, and I watched as his body language projected his feelings and own inner turmoil. He went from confused, to thoughtful, then to aggravated and back to thoughtful. Watching as his hands moved, fingers scratching the side of his head then arms crossing and repeating the gestures made the wait all the more intense.

He didn't have to agree with anything I had said this morning. He could simply walk out that door and not look back.

"I…agree with most of what you've said," he finally stated, eyes glancing to the clock. "Shit, I'm late," he muttered, turning around and looking for something. I furrowed my eyebrows as he began gathering a few belongings from around the house. His socks and shoes, his jacket, and then his hat.

"Is that all you have to say after all that?" I muttered in frustration. I watched as he shoved his boots on and then came over to me.

"No," he grunted as he glanced at the clock again. "But if I don't get to work Gramps will skin me alive. I'm already nearly a half hour late," he explained hastily, his large hands resting on my shoulders. "I'll be back right after work. Then I'll have my bit to say as well," he smiled some at that, bending down to press his lips against my forehead. "Be careful," he warned before turning and rushing out of the house.

I stood their dumbfounded for awhile, my fingers brushing the warm spot on my forehead as I wrinkled my nose at the feeling. Gray…was going to be acting weird now it seemed.

Not that weird was a bad thing.

Gray's POV

It's hard to feel really guilty about something when you don't regret it. I didn't regret what had happened between Claire and myself, but I found myself irritated that I hadn't waited.

It was too soon. And it could have cost me everything I had wanted.

One night of being with Claire, no matter how passionate and memorable it had been for me, wasn't worth losing her over. And I had damn near put myself in a bad position.

She'd handled it better than I thought she would after she had calmed down. When she had ran into the bathroom I had been very concerned she'd ban me from the house. But she had finally come around.

And for the life of me she had handled everything better than I thought she would be able to. Especially when she started in on her contraceptive speech. At first I had been a little hurt, but after she had explained her reasons I fully understood everything about it.

It was funny that most people always assumed a woman was impulsive in a relationship- especially when Claire seemed ever the most cautious. At least since her last relationship…

"You're late," Gramps said as I walked into the shop. I gave him a stiff nod, and no excuses as to why. Which for some reason only peeked his curiosity. "I was informed you didn't go home last night," he pressed on, and I only shrugged my shoulders.

It wasn't really any of his business.

"I saw you two on the way to the festival," he murmured quietly, fingers stroking his beard. "That old dress fit her well."

"Yeah, it did," I said quietly, a small smile appearing on my face. "It was nice of Gotz to offer it to her."

"Gotz is good people," Gramps chuckled, his large hand resting on my shoulder. "I trust you didn't do anything stupid last night."

I had to grimace at his jest, giving him a weak smile that was accompanied by a nervous chuckle. Of course my reaction simply earned me a scowl, and the hand that was resting on my shoulder immediately shot up, old calloused finger pinching and twisting my ear.

"Shit old man that hurts!"I hissed out, hunching over.

"What did you do?"

"It's none of your business!"

"The hell it isn't. I'm your grandfather! I'm responsible for you and the damn mistakes you make! I swear if you hurt that girl…" At the last sentence I knocked his arm, succeeding in knocking him off balance and resulting in my poor ear's release.

"I wouldn't hurt her," I growled, turning on the old man and panting heavily. "ever." I added the last part quietly, shutting my eyes and trying to calm down. "I just can't…"

"You can't help yourself," the old man finished, and I opened my eyes, looking warily up at him. "You love her- like your father loved your mother. Like I loved your grandmother…" he trailed off there, the expression coming over his face making him look older than usual. He took a deep breath and sighed, walking over to his desk and sitting at it.

I waited a minute for him to say anything, but when he remained silent I continued on about my work. The only thing that made me turn to look was when I heard the door open. But it was simply the old man leaving. The sudden time alone made me realize how exhausted I really was. I sat down on top of the table, holding my face in my hands.

"What the hell is wrong with you Gray?" I asked myself, sighing and closing my eyes.

You really are an idiot you know.

"yeah…"

It's not his fault it happened. It takes two to tango you know. You really shouldn't be beating yourself up about all this… Why is that idiot back in my head?

"Seriously? Just great. Nearly a whole season without the two fools confusing me in my head and they're back."

Hello? Right here, Gray. And might I say great job on the advice. Body language never fails.

You know what? It's your fault if something happens and Claire ditches us. It's thoughts like those that will ruin him. We both know how hard it is for him to control those feelings for him, and here you are…

"Just shut up the both of you," I muttered, shaking my head in irritation. "I know it was wrong. I knew it…I tried to get her to stop it. Because I knew I couldn't- not unless she asked me. And when she wouldn't…well it happened. I'm not proud of how it happened, but damn it I don't regret it!"

Well spoken.

To a degree…

"I just hope…things don't change to much."

Don't hold your breath for that wish, Gray. You'll be lucky if she can even look you in the eye.

"Just go back to wherever it is you've been already."

"Who the hell are you talking to?" the old man's gruff voice caused me to jump, and I looked up, just in time to deflect a flying box from hitting me upside the head.

"Nobody. For Goddess sakes old man what is your problem?"

"I went out to get you those, and I come back and your laying around on the job after coming in late? I honestly don't understand you young people…"

I wasn't listening anymore as my eyes focused on exactly what he had thrown at me. I was simply flushing a bright red, so much so that I couldn't hear anything but the blood rushing to my face and drowning out any other sounds from my ears.

I don't care who a guy is, or what he's done. Nothing prepares him for having his grandfather toss condoms at him. What the hell?

Didn't see that one coming…

Me either.

This never leaves this room. Ever.

Ok. Review, ignore, throw veggies. All up to you guys. I will update sooner next time. I hope. This is of course pending any writer's block.