A/N: Me: Haha- Fang likes playing with little boys! XD
Fang: SHUT UP! I'm NOT a pedophile!
Me: You said it yourself!
Fang: I didn't know what I was saying! It was in FRENCH!
Me: Too bad- you still said it :)
Fang: Can someone please get me out of here?
MooMoo: Nope.
Rawr: You're pretty much stuck.
Fang: FML
Me: I love pissing you off :D Fact: Turns out I had strep throat :P Fang's a pedo.
Fang: AM NOT!
April 18, 2017 (LOL my 21st birthday… BEER! JK it's gross :P) Whoops- I forgot to list the ages last chapter.
Fang/Iggy/Max- 23
Nudge/Ian/Ella- 20
Gazzy/Hannah (Ian's little sister)- 17
Angel/Matt (Ian's little brother)- 15
Tyler/Lizzy (Fang and Max's kids)- 6
Jack (Ella and Ian's kid)- 3
Ben (Nudge and Iggy's kid)- 1
Refresher!:
Ian- Blonde hair, deep blue eyes
Hannah- Red curly hair, green eyes
Matt- Strawberry blonde hair, aqua blue eyes
Ian's Mom- Curly red hair, dark blue eyes
Ian's Dad- Platinum blonde hair, deep green eyes
Tyler- Max's light brown hair and brown with white wings, Fang's black eyes
Lizzy- Fang's black hair and wings, Max's light brown eyes
Jack- Ella's dark brown hair, Ian's dark blue eyes
Ben- Nudge's dark brown hair and tawny wings, Iggy's bright blue eyes
Max POV
As soon as Nudge (with Ben), Angel, Lizzy, Tyler, little Jack, Ella (why was she here anyway?), and of course Iggy, piled into my room, I knew I was in trouble. I had been laying down, resting, nursing a headache, trying to block the sounds of Ben, Lizzy, and Tyler crying. It was only 9 am, and there was already a meltdown to rival Three Mile Island. It was a chain reaction once Tyler broke Lizzy's My Little Pony toy, (A/N: Me: Are you a brony?), Tyler getting punished, and Ben getting upset about the noise. I had let Fang handle that explosion.
Living here so cramped wasn't helping either. There was me and Fang's room, Lizzy and Tyler's room, Nudge and Iggy's room, Ben's room, Gazzy and Hannah's (she was now living with us) room, and Angel's room. In a four bedroom house- we didn't have an office anymore. So the house was ready to explode.
They all were talking at once- and I was getting pretty pissed off. "SHADDUP!" I screamed. Nobody listened to me, and they all kept shouting over each other. I knew what I had to do. Sighing, I stood up on top of my bed. "BACON IS EDIBLE SEX!" I bellowed. (A/N: Me: Thank you Phoenix Fanatic.)
Sure enough, everyone stopped and stared at me. I could hear Fang and Ian laughing downstairs. "That's pretty accurate." Iggy said. I'll never understand that boy.
"Okay, now that I have your guys' attention, and that you've woken me up, someone better be dying." I asked.
Of course, you can guess who was the first one to answer. "Like, OMG Dr. M called and suggested that we all go on a vacation a few minutes ago and I asked her where and she was like 'I don't know' and I was all like 'well I don't either' but then Ella was visiting her and she suggested going to Southern CA to the beach and we all agreed that it was a really good idea and Dr. M already made reservations for a hotel and we're leaving at noon so you need to pack and you can't stop us from going!" She said that all in one breath. Without dying.
"Um…." I didn't know what to say. I guess that wouldn't be a problem, but the way our lives go…. " I guess we could go for a little bit, but…." The end of my sentence was drowned out by all the cheers. I groaned, rubbing my temples- this could not end well.
QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER: Where was your best vacation ever? Mine was in Australia, obviously.
In the end, we ended up leaving later than we wanted to. But that was because I had to spend almost an hour convincing Iggy that no, he could not bring his case full of titanium-cobalt with him. I don't even know where he got that, I don't think it's legal, and I'm pretty sure I don't want to know.
My mom, Ella, Ian, Jack, Hannah, and Matt (Angel begged to bring him) were traveling in my mom's blue Dodge minivan. The rest of us were flying (except Jack, but Nudge was carrying him).
It was a pretty short flight- about an hour- but we had to wait for the van to meet us at the hotel. So we checked in and went to eat. What? I would marry food if I could. I'm pretty sure we ate out their entire buffet, and I'm not surprised. It was fascinating, yet slightly appalling, to see how much food Iggy could wolf down- using both hands- in just five minutes.
Afterwards, Fang wanted to send the kids down to the beach "with Iggy to supervise" and spent some "time with you, Max".
"I'm pretty sure that Iggy needs supervision, let alone let him supervise. Also, forget it Mr. Horndog- not gonna happen." I said, poking his chest. His face made him look like a beaten puppy. A pouty, beaten puppy.
In the end, we all ended up going to the beach. Iggy, Gazzy, Angel, and Nudge (holding Ben) were down by the water, doing God knows what. Savages. "Max… need a sun lotion? Like… on your back?" Fang asked.
Rolling my eyes, I said "No, Fang, I don't need to be felt up right now." I heard him cuss under his breath. He just won't give up.
It was a nice day, and we spent a few hours at the beach. By the time dinner rolled around, my mom and co. were looking for us, and wanted to know where we were gonna have dinner.
We chose Nathan's (A/N: Me: Me no owny.) for dinner, since Iggy was "craving some hot and juicy meat sticks". That earned him a smack. This time, we all walked to it (shocker, I know) since we had humans with his. Eww… humans. LOL JK. Wait… did I just text speak in my head? Wow, only 23 and I am losing it.
I felt so bad for the poor guy at the counter- "Um… I need.. let's see… 16 corndogs, 22 hotdogs with everything on them, 15 sodas, and 18 bratwursts with chili and cheese." My mom said, already gathering a bunch of twenties.
The guy balked, staring at us, trying to see if we were kidding. But when he saw that we all were serious (except Iggy, who was giggling over a 'meat stick's' name), he swallowed and put in the order.
It took over twenty minutes to get all of our food, and we walked out chewing and chomping. Even little Ben was chewing up a small piece of hot dog. I was still hungry. What? I only had a hot dog and two corndogs. Don't judge.
We walked to our hotel (which was conveniently placed right next to a Hooter's. (A/N: Me no owny.) Nudge, Ella, and I all just grabbed our husbands and dragged them into the hotel.
Each room had two beds, so four people would be in each. Fang and I would share with Lizzy and Tyler, Gazzy and Hannah would share with Angel and Matt (not too thrilled with that, but Angel knows I will rip off her head and crap down her neck), Nudge and Iggy would share with Ben and Jack (they were 'babysitting' for Ella), and my mom would share with Ella and Ian. Whew.
I wonder where all the money came from. I bet Angel conned some poor sucker into donating to some false charity. Or Iggy just bombed a bank and in the chaos ran away with bag of money. Or Fang went into a Wal-Mart with a taco and a flamethrower, and set the TV's on fire, and then put the taco… okay this is getting a bit weird for me. I apologize.
In the end, I only had to punch Fang six times, two of which were in the 'family jewels'. After that I think he got the point.
Um… read my two newest stories "The Road Goes Ever On" and "I Am a Vampire!" This shameless plugging brought to you by… um… IDK my BFF Jill.
The rest of the vacation passed smoothly; with three days of the beach, sun, iced tea, and ice cream. I caught Fang, Iggy, and Ian on a midnight run to Hooter's, or 'that one Subway place we passed… um… yesterday'. I had to fight off a horny Fang the whole time (with more kiwi punches). Um… oh YEAH! I can't believe I forgot to say the whole reason why we left! Now, while I patch up the fourth wall, please enjoy this flashback.
Flashback
I was laying on the sand, basking in the sun. I smacked Fang's hand when it ventured from my arm to my chest. It was calm and peaceful, with just Ella/Ian, Gazzy/Hannah, Nudge, and Fang/I. My mom had taken everyone else (Iggy "had some errands to run") mini golfing.
The silence was shattered when I heard terrified screams, gun shots, and explosions from about a mile away. Fang and I looked at each other, and said the same thing. "Iggy."
Sure enough, the stain on humanity's sleeve himself came sprinting into view, holding a mysterious package in his hand, sending sand flying everywhere. He skidded to a stop right in front of me.
"Uh… Max. We have a… situation. I may… or may not… have angered a whole mob of Canadians, and I may or may not have blown up a whole factory, and they may or may not have sent the town militia after me."
My mouth dropped open. "How could one person be so stupid. How are you even breathing?" I asked.
"There's no time- or answers- for stupid questions, Max!" Iggy yelled. "We need to go!" I sighed, and called my mom.
"Iggy blew up a factory, pissed off a bunch of Canadians, and attracted the attention of the town militia. So pack everyone up and meet us at the hotel, stat."
"Again?" my mom sighed. "Alright, see you in a couple minutes."
And that is why we are now home four days early, Iggy is my personal slave for a week, and Fang is still waiting for his "alone time".
A/N: Me: Fang stop pouting and come help me with this!
Fang: No!
Me: But I can't post the chapter without you!
Fang: Screw you, B.
Me: Anytime :) LOLOLOLOL
Fang: o.O *face palm*
MooMoo: Face it.
Rawr: He's not leaving his emo corner.
Me: Whatever, Fang. Screw you. Fact: I got Just Dance 2 from Gamefly, and it's FRICKING AWESOME! Okay, lets get 10 reviews again- I want the total by the end of the story to be… 400. I think we can do it. 107 reviews in… 15 chapters. R&R! GO!